posted on July 23, 2008 at 11:17 pm

i whispered those songs to him then
and now you know
and that was the end of it
i am a living spirit
unravelling the tangled skeins of fleshsuits
i talk through electrical spasms and knocks thru the wall
i bring him words i bring him songs
his cup is never empty
he understands bit by bit how it all goes together
just a slow but steady learner
a slow and steady burner
there is spirit behind everything
the one one one
that is why
and here it is
this is you writing this
this is me reading it
it is us together
joined at the mind
joined at the hip of the galaxy
we are in space
right now
this is this is this is this
or whatever
the moment is gone
i am experiencing constant interruptions
ruptures in continuity
am i mad or seeing visions
visions of madness
but i am patently only pretending to be mad
and that is a form of madness also
for example
the next person to click on my site
will have an “o” in their name
or maybe a full stop
death is a full stop
in a sentence of lives
then sleep is a comma
or is a comma a coma
one day approaches
your heyday i speak of
that day of days of days
that day that hey hey heyday
make heydays while the sunshines
hey up and hey down, my children
heydays only seen from behind
when theyre over , theyre over
they linger on in a salient light
they blossom on in memory
they appear as they might have been
not as they were once
the things themselves have died
but something has preserved them in outline
hey day 22 years gone
do i long for you?
i cant tell anymore if i do
the day must come and go
the night will pass
the heynights and blacknights
the shortcuts and spotlights
nightclubs and jails
its all over
its all about to begin
in the merry month of may
may be
may be june
may be wintertime
maybe in for some more rain and no reign
what was i saying…?
have you lost our mind…?
have we been reading that stuff again?
the worlds full of these olde idiot-mystics
peddling their c.s. blueish sigh-fi pomes
about lost master peace and the winged genius of love
i wanted the hard facts about those lyrics
and now….this
prepare to stop
expect delays
caution children
soft verges
give way
burn thru the hole like a spirit in flame

31 Responses to “memory lain”

  1. avatar
    princey | 24 July 2008 at 1:15 am #

    I loved this sk, “joined at the mind, joined at the hip of the galaxy”, I really believe in that kinda stuff. It was worth the wait!
    love 2u always,

  2. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 July 2008 at 1:51 am #

    “joined at the mind”….
    i loved this line, too.

    “his cup is never empty”
    no, it certainly isn’t. never stop doing what you do best.

    lotza love….

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 1:55 am #

    fortunately….we are all,here,stark,raving bonkers!!!’/ 🙂 x

  4. avatar
    Richard | 24 July 2008 at 2:38 am #

    22 years since Heyday

    (just) more than half my lifetime ago

    half a life with those songs swinging in and out of my consciousness

    more than anyone else you have written my soundtrack

    it’s a reasonably run of the mill movie so far

    but with a bit of editing, and the promise of still more of your songs to sing along to, who knows how the director’s cut may play out

    thanks bud

  5. avatar
    Polydora | 24 July 2008 at 2:58 am #

    Skeins of fleshsuits… I do believe I could knit something very interesting with those.

    What shall it be? A hat? An afghan? Some mittens? A future heyday maybe?

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 6:14 am #

    still reading c.s. bullshit…..ahhh knowledge burns a whole in my prom dress
    self pity isn't a pool that stays warm for long. I dig in till the equations are solved……im not x 2 trd power….dammitt….the class scoffs….i won't be an answer. how does a 2 .min talk work on the sollution……£work for u with u….to help you learn how to deceive me more……
    every little tic beat… me heyday ahhhh…..i was ín hellboy………..i read this…… like freddy…..u passed me while I lounged…………no words…..time to f the nosayers…….her power can only do so much………….shiver me timbers………..btw I met u b4 I knew of u………standing above me…….IS HETHE ONE? u hovered w/ 2 others……… st..<1990 I got impatient…..ur here….i must know……have u astral travelled…………& sorry I doubted…
    the electric wire
    possession…….cheers ps met casuakll friend……..knows rob indian….may visit!jjjj
    (witchy woman) c ya goaee hovering……..just a rt to sydney… it off……i believe…
    fool…..laugh……i spared change w no guilt….no plead……change my shit……get me out……….

    thanx……no reason u should

    I'm another creature……..

    and when I can…..ill pass it…….
    no jokes…….i come naked..shy…..risking public slapdown….
    kiss ass…
    dream cum true
    delete delete

    speed poets

    open air
    my promise is not to give inn
    ……………..pass go?
    humans get any passes?
    is it healthy.
    or non…..need of rescue….
    4 give my fantasy……
    only 1 way……thats on my back…
    so far …… pracically… sinking…………missing….?? kindness love unconditional
    can't stay can't leave…
    she's triggerrd hours of suffocation……didnt want to go home

    not one …y r they so gd afraid….of …..stand up put ur neck out…..
    no true blue freinds… my head in my head.

  7. avatar
    B Raine | 24 July 2008 at 6:18 am #


  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 6:39 am #

    1986, le rox Adelaide…turning around and there were the crunch, walking thru the packed crowd to get to the back room, all paisley and denim. no-one seemed to notice. then out u came and played one of the loudest gig ive ever heard…u were just about to set off on a usa tour as i recall…fuck it was loud and messy!! heyday!!

  9. avatar
    lily was here | 24 July 2008 at 7:26 am #

    sk, blurring the line between sanity and madness. You always have killer opening lines.

    I heard the only difference between sanity and genius is success; except, success depends on your perspective. So, we obviously think you’re a genius and you just think you’re mad 🙂


  10. avatar
    lily was here | 24 July 2008 at 7:27 am #

    grrr… i meant ‘INsanity’

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 8:08 am #

    Oh,, my dear,, pretty sad is pretty mad. But take it more lightly, less weight for the space is weightless and wild, you know. And the space, even so weightless, it’s too much, even for you. Forget the space, remember the time. And let’s laugh before all this, we are only humans for our minds. There is no delay when we’re always in time.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 9:23 am #

    Excellent. I’ve wanted to hear about Heyday since the day we started subscribing – but this was wonderful.

  13. avatar
    I still carry the scars | 24 July 2008 at 9:36 am #

    Sheffield, UK, June 1986. Heyday is immediately my favourite Church album, despite having followed you since seeing the Church at the Leadmill here in 1982. You are due to play the Leadmill again on Saturday night. I’ve been looking at this ticket with something approaching awe for 3 weeks and tomorrow it’s here. I am so fucking psyched, I am beside myself with psyched-dom! But this same Friday, I get the news: Church gig cancelled: “one of them has run away”…It turned out to be Marty, who’d flounced off in Hamburg. Several UK gigs were subsequently rescheduled when Marty came slinking back. Sheffield, the only gig outside London, was not one of them. It meant so much to me – in thinking of it now, I still feel the echo of the despondency that stayed with me for months!

  14. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 24 July 2008 at 11:28 am #

    ohhh man….reading the last couple of blogs gave me the most trippy feeling…ohhhhhhh….just unreal…
    heyday, myrrh…remeber being blown away by the utter beauty of it the first time i heard it…oh boy…
    love always…

  15. avatar
    don joe | 24 July 2008 at 12:23 pm #

    Somr choice prose there Bro…

    don joe

  16. avatar
    restaurant mark | 24 July 2008 at 12:34 pm #

    “but i am patently only pretending to be mad
    and that is a form of madness also”
    well said steve…
    really enjoyed that one. heyday…22 years ago…wow…doesn’t seem that far away. i was 16…nowhere near that now though…oh well.

    take care everyone

  17. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 24 July 2008 at 1:06 pm #

    Heyday…It was never one of my favourite Church albums. Personally I don’t understand the adulation by some fans – but to each his own. If I had to pick one Church release from the 80’s, it would be either The Blurred Crusade or Starfish. But – to me – not even these came close to the excellence of Gold Afternoon Fix, Priest = Aura, Sometime Anywhere, Hologram Of Baal, After Everything Now This, Forget Yourself and Uninvited, Like The Clouds: These albums made me the HUGE fan that I am today and convinced me that The Church is superior to any other band on this planet.
    Other Church related releases that I prefer to Heyday are Isidore, Narcosis + More, Remindlessness, Freaky Conclusions and Dabble.

  18. avatar
    never satisfied | 24 July 2008 at 1:33 pm #

    Imagine if the studio version of Myrrh had had Marty’s soaring solo and Roman had had Ploog’s cascading drum battery…

  19. avatar
    veleska1970 | 24 July 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    “heyday” was my first church album. the album that began a lifelong love affair with the greatest band to ever grace us mere mortals…..


  20. avatar
    ross b | 24 July 2008 at 2:32 pm #

    I’m glad we’re joined at the hip of the galaxy, that’s a very comforting line, makes me feel like we’re all sort of connected, y’know…

    as much as i adore Heyday i tend to have a slight preference for Seance as that album pretty much reflects my constant underlying mood

    i received Heyday for Xmas back in 1985 (puzzled because the release date was 27 Jan 1986??) and was slightly disappointed – i was hoping for the Style Council’s Our Favourite Shop!! age has wizened me believe me, no contest, Heyday is the superior record by far…though i still have time for tsc’s anti-thatcher rants…

    here’s burning the a.m. candle,
    love, r.

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 2:42 pm #

    Yeah, weird. And it definitely didn’t come out in England until May or June 1986, no matter what it said on the inner sleeve of the vinyl!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 3:41 pm #

    Ok, I know this blog isn’t really (or rather, overtly) about Heyday, and I can see Steve getting more and more pissed off that all these comments ARE about that album and not about the blog he’s just written, but…I fucken love that record! Sorry, Steve. Ere, had Peter Walsh worked with Scott Walker by the time you did Heyday?

  23. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 24 July 2008 at 3:42 pm #

    I’m with Thomas Thomsen 100%. Heyday, Starfish and Gold Afternoon Fix were good albums by a good band that sounded like many other bands. Priest=Aura marked the commencement of The Church being nonpareil, peerless, incomparable, inimitable and paramount.

    A very enjoyable blog today by the one and only Steve Kilbey. Everybody who enters my office loves his Vishnu in Bondhi art.

  24. avatar
    ross b | 24 July 2008 at 3:52 pm #

    i’m in need of a good night’s comma! (and coma)

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 July 2008 at 5:07 pm #

    I want my heyday too.
    I had waited nine months to grab the little black & white Starfish washed upon the exotic shore, no kidding, a pregnancy. To think that I, such an anxious creature, would have to wait that long for each of those 174859 records that The Church had at the precious store's catalog made me shiver. So, I decided to ask my father to take me to Modern Sound, not our beloved record store but by far the most complete (it had an unbearable owner, so pretentious, one of those southamericanos who pretend they're in Europe by being some sort of snobbish, affected, puerile blasé, it's such an effort that it becomes quite the opposite of blasé; he was also known for not allowing his customers, even the oldest ones like my father, to enjoy the listening station. Why a fucking listening station if your customers can't listen to the records to decide if they wanna buy it?? That was quite a picture of the man). But again, Modern Sound was almost our Virgin MegaStore or our Tower Records. I still can see my finger-searching, A, B, C, Ch… The Chameleons, The Chee-lites, The Christians, ah, The Church. Modern Sound had all of them 80's records except for Crusade and Luxury. I was shaken to the top. It even had the Ripple single which I thought was the last thing The Church did. No information at all. Those records were my unique source of history. And the first one that called my attention and was gently pulled from the horizontal shelf was… Heyday. A persian carpet at the cover? That was so cool, our house was covered by persian carpets. All dressed in "carpet-shirts"? That was how I used to call the famous "paisley shirts", after all, I was only 14. Kilbey had red hair at that time? 14 year old girls are so futile… Until they get in touch with something that is enticingly incomprehensible or mysteriously meaningful or verbally sophisticated. Like those titles seemed to be. Myrrh?Tristesse?Already Yesterday?Youth Worshipper?Tantalized?Roman? I immediately thought that was a conceptual record, like progressive rock, and the theme was "the Roman conquests" in my head. It was obvious to me. But I knew it was not like prog actually, it seemed to be more loose, less rigid, it wouldn't give an answer, it would be a journey and the story would not be conventionally conveyed.
    But my father told me he had run out of money to give me so many records (in fact, he wanted to make a surprise and one week later he took Seance, Of Skins, GAF and Heyday, and made me painfully look for the ceedees in different rooms). He told me then: "It can't be this easy. Look at the long-waited Starfish".
    But one of the owners of our beloved record store, modest in size and highly refined in its choices, called us to tell that a certain second-hand LP had just arrived. "A psychedelic cover it has, it's called Heyday", he said. A couple of hours later I was looking at the big cover completely mesmerised and reading the lyrics amongst the loud visitors. So many words I didn't understand. What was a "drumkit moon"?? Coming from a romantic tradition, my instantaneous favorite was Night of Light. "She said I'll live this chapter till eternity" became my number one quote. I understood I was facing an English poet, not the usual singer bloke who spits some elementary love blah blah blah over the mic. And so I took that vinyl home (they let me borrow it until I had the CD) and obsessively studied the lyrics with my mother's help. It was clear to me that it was a record about conquering and losing. Or about conquering and not enjoying the outcome (today I think it was a perverse sneakpreview statement considering the following facts of LA's Starfish and GAF's pressure). It contained sheer shining fury but it also contained the disenchantment. It was not about the Roman saga, but about a man's sag in the rock biz to tell his story and the story was being told there. I only listened to Heyday after I knew the lyrics by heart and the sound perfectly matched those ideas. It was a Mars record ("Venus set me free"), solar, vigorous, bellicose and sometimes religious, almost resembling some kind of post-modern medievalism. Fair enough, after all my struggle to decipher Heyday, my favorite song was "Happy Hunting Ground".

  26. avatar
    davem | 24 July 2008 at 5:08 pm #

    Keep bringing him the words and songs!!!

  27. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 24 July 2008 at 7:34 pm #

    personally i am getting tired of this bullshit, after what i did for you esskay, i helped you prove everyone wrong here on earth i call terra, you owe me some lovin’ like never before now where is all my lovin’???
    Jonny Hollywood

  28. avatar
    steve kilbey | 24 July 2008 at 8:54 pm #

    anon at 307 a lovelytale…thanks
    davem i love ya
    jonny hollywood..heres yer love
    ( love)

  29. avatar
    fantasticandy | 24 July 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    ‘happy hunting ground’ pointed towards the future.

    what a future………….

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 July 2008 at 3:53 am #

    Anonat307Studios answers: all we need is love. You’re ever welcome, lovely one.

  31. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 25 July 2008 at 4:09 am #

    Hey Andy,
    i put “Happy Hunting Ground” and “Night of Light” in my story ideas…

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