posted on June 26, 2006 at 8:57 pm

gooday fiendss
saw johnny cash movie last nite
still dont know much about johnny cash tho
i dont even know what drugs he was taking by the bucketload
and i aint ever seen a dealer of any drugs
who carries his stash around in a big rolled up hankerchief
like your mum’d do for you for school
and ikept thinkin’ johnny cash was gonna change into that badde emperor
maximum nastiuss
he was in dat other big movie
(which i didnt mind)
i dunno
it seemed so awfully faked
why spend 10 billion dollars
on making a film
then have them mime the songs
actually the dialogue on most holiwood films
its lip synched
recorded n dubbed in later
by actors watching themselves and trying to match it up…
they dont record the sound usually when they film
or if they do they hardly ever use it…
all the sounds you hear.the cars the cities the crickets
the guns and hands knocking at door
are done later
does this contribute
an olde smarte arse like mee wonders
does this contribute
to most films inability to transcend
suspend yer diss-belief
theres bradley pitt-stoppe
up on the big screen
hes temporary just like achilles
no expense has been spared
theyve spent more on this scene
than the city of sydney makes in parking fines in a year
(shame ! shame! shame!)
the citadels a’burnin’
the evil-doers are a’writhin’
the damsels are a”kissin’ n a’cuddlin’
we zoom right in on his lips as he whispers
his final doomed desolate words…
and jesus christ!
the man is a poofteenth of a second
behind his dialoggy
and then it shakes the jaffas rite outta yer packet
that the words you were hearing
were uttered by yon achilles pitt
in the gold star studio, la
probably clutchin’ a starbucks
n joshing with the other guys
i dunno
they shatter an already frail illusion
and they treat us like chumps
steven and kilbey give walk the line
a big thumb upndown motion

on sunnaday
i went to see first screening of davey c s
movie overboard
which i did some “music” for
its a lovely horrible film
put me off houseboating(!?) forever
sustained anxiety
aust gothic
i dunno
watch out for it somewhere soon

got 5 dvds werth of jacques froste
from donaldo bee in ye olde middle or is it albert park?
some leafy european suburb of melbourne
living the high life no doubt…..
strange to see that goes without saying…
grant distancing himself hilariously
from my stupid behaviour
on the “set” of our video for t t i w o u
get that reefer away from me
the beleaguered grant mutters
and then complaining about my gold glittery guitar strap
and then backstage in boston or somewhere
in 1991
grants explosive laugh
his everpresent black top
with the little silver zip on the collar
his scornful n withering looks
when the local guys are layin’ it on too thick
some live footage of us in paddington
the nite we squabbled with eddie keupper
about who was goin’ on last
ok you say
whatta cliche rocknroll squabble
no but ya see
me n grant wanted to go on before smilin’ ed
because it was our second gig ever
and ed had a drummer
and they were really good…
but ed smelled a rat
and didnae wanna play after us
cos he wassa stickler for detail
and ye olde contract said before jack frost
and thats how he wanted it
(fair enuff too)
anyway there we are
strummin’ away
havin’ a bit of a laugh
cos i loved playing live with ‘im
im gonna try
possibly with db s helpman
to make ye olde doco/roco from footage
and handage

lookin at my tour schedule sometimes gloomily
all that travel
all those miles hurtlin’ along in metal
in the air
on the ground
all the fuckin’ argy-bargy
all the disappointments n successes
all the waiting around
all the airport metaldetectors messin’ up my etheric double
all the we need you to fill in this cardn yer rooms not ready yet s
i know
i know
stop complaining
some of us got real jobs
touring is anxiety for me
meeting a load a people
who already think your
a prophet
a prick
and im both n im neither
and i hate being rude
but usually am
and i want it to be goode every nite
and i feel rotten for both our sakes
when it doesnae happen
sometimes it just doesnae happen
thats a fact
how can you explain that
and then in other
totally unlikely places
it explodes into a ball of fury n energy
and if you think it aint gonna rock cos we’re accoustic
come n give me my money back guarantee
this is pure rock
unsurrounded by the noise
like waterskiing in bare feet
or parachuting without the chute
or bullfighting without the bullshit
insert own sporting cliche here
back to my anxious complaining
and i know some of you have real hard backbreaking gigs to do
dont you?
do you?
but its a glorious 2 hours
surrounded by 22 other hours of rigmarole
driving in vans
finding yer way in sellersville pa
or oogamalooga in wa
turn right there pete
oh no
now were on the freeway to the airport again
we just by passed nyc completely
and the gig started a half hour ago
and i aint had my vegan ice cream with nondairy chocalate
lashings of toffuti tutti n eggplant soy shakes
i aint checked into my 3 and a quarter stars hotel
you know the one next to the black hole of a construction pit
where the noise starts at 6 30
but that dont matter
cos yer getting up at 5 30 to start driving n flying
to nexttown
and yer cant get yer suitcase closed
and theyve charged you a million bucks to call home
and the others have already had brekky and wanna go
or youre sittin on the bus packed n ready to go
while theyre all asleep in their beddies
do we do instores?
i hate em
no surprise
do they do any goode?
how the hell would i know?
it aint all dancing on clouds
not asking for sympathy fiendss
jus’ givin ya a lil insight…
kilbey n.bondi 2006

36 Responses to “miscellaneousaurus”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 June 2006 at 10:07 pm #

    Try watching something not stoned off your nut for once.
    It makes it all seem stupid.
    Or try watching Claude Van Damn.
    Straight they are unwatchable.Stoned they are unmissable.
    You are in the minority as most of reviews praise the performances in Walk The Line.
    Mud Man

  2. avatar
    starfish | 26 June 2006 at 10:10 pm #

    Ha! We used to watch (U.S.) football on Sunday with the sound off and the Smiths blaring. Nothing like a little fem Moz and a spliff to put sports into perspective.

  3. avatar
    Altres | 26 June 2006 at 10:16 pm #

    Steve, get a copy of My Neighbour Totoro for you and the girls to watch, it is magical. Childhoods magic and mystery distilled into ink and animation. I felt it most recently on Bondi beach, and remembered the intensity and experiencial nature of new living. The exhiliration of the ocean.
    Thanks for the memory. 😀

  4. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 26 June 2006 at 10:18 pm #

    Waiting around is the worst, I agree. Especially b/c some of the gigs are in the dodgiest parts of town (think SF) so if you want to see some beautiful cliffs, dunes and ocean while you wait for the Great American Music Hall gig, call me, MWP and/or Tiare has my number.

  5. avatar
    sue cee | 26 June 2006 at 10:23 pm #

    The tour worries me sk, it looks rugged and bound to be ups and downs like the movie but everyone with tix should be pumped, even in acoustic etc you are major league. Did u see the HOF nominees for the Arias? Jeezus. Glad u dont qualify yet!

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 June 2006 at 11:09 pm #

    You guys are gunna rock their socks of in the States – They all want to see ya and all want to hear ya. They will be coming in from all over the place.

    Give the people what they want.

    Blow em all away with a smile on yer face and good humour like you always do…..

    Wish I was gunna be their.

    Peter –

    P.S The SUN is shining in Melbourne this morning, wish I was @ the Speigeltent.

  7. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 June 2006 at 12:03 am #

    oh, the many joys of a touring rock band…….

  8. avatar
    the dean | 27 June 2006 at 12:12 am #

    But the tour is a great adventure into the unknown, all the trials add up to the creative experience than can’t be gained by being content. “use all your power to free the senses from attachment and aversion alike”.
    easier said than done I know when you’re away from home.

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 12:18 am #


    Cant wait until your Florida shows. Just made arrangements to take my 14 year old son to the HOB show in Orlando. As a divorced parent who doesn’t see his kids as much as he would like it should be a special experience. Cool to introduce him to something besides green day

    Plenty of summer here in Florida for ya.

    steve in Florida

  10. avatar
    daydreamer | 27 June 2006 at 12:20 am #

    Gosh you’re making me feel a bit guilty here. But Steve, I’m going to two shows and bringing six people, three of which have never heard you! I’ll be sending them a little mix I just made of some recent Church stuff, to get them in the mood.

    Speaking of which, I finally thought of my question: How does one describe The Chruch to someone who has never heard them? How do you describe your music, Steve?

    Thank you,

  11. avatar
    daydreamer | 27 June 2006 at 12:23 am #

    ps I once saw a TV show on how they make the sound effects for the movies, like you described, and it was fascinating. Much more interesting than (most of) the actual movies.

  12. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 27 June 2006 at 12:39 am #

    I’ll give you a little sympathy…last year I took a month off to see some of Europe. Now this was supposed to be a vacation – I wasn’t on tour, I didn’t have to perform for anyone. I loved seeing other parts of the world – London, Paris, Chartres, Rome, Florence, Tuscany, etc. – and I was lucky enough to go first class w/almost everything. BUT good GOD it was hard. I’ll admit, I have a few minor health issues that make things a little harder for me, but honestly, at one point in Paris, I thought I was on the Bataan Death March. From plane to car to taxi to hotel to bus to plane to Eurostar to bus to hotel to plane to taxi….ETC.

    I said to my mum, “It’s no wonder rock stars take drugs on tour. I want drugs now too.” I don’t know how you guys do it!

    Now beyond that – quit your worrying about us! The tickets have been bought, I think we all know not to bug ya on yer pedestal 😉 and I plan on going to two shows and just enjoying being in your musical presence, however it presents itself. I’ve seen you guys many, many times, and I’ve never, ever been disappointed by a show. You’re too hard on yourself.

    I’m sure I speak for at least a few people (although that could be dangerous here) when I say, if there’s anything any of us can do in our respective cities to make things easier on you guys, let us know.

  13. avatar
    John Garratt | 27 June 2006 at 2:13 am #

    “and i aint had my vegan ice cream with nondairy chocalate
    lashings of toffuti tutti n eggplant soy shakes”

    Dude, just eat a banana.


  14. avatar
    John in Austin, Texas | 27 June 2006 at 2:39 am #

    For what its worth, I’m just happy to see that you are finally playing Austin, Texas again. Its been way to long since I’ve seen you guys (Los Angeles for Hologram of Baal) – and I was worried that you had stopped tourning the States.

  15. avatar
    Dig | 27 June 2006 at 3:50 am #

    I thought walk the line was a bit luke warm too. I have to admit though I think the Hurt(cash version) video is one of the most powerful I have seen.
    As for movies the Doors is still one of my all time favourites and Val Kilmer actually sang the songs, fucking incredible!
    I saw the Go-Betweens special on rage the other night, I always imagined that you played bass on Thought I Was Over You, so I was suprised to see you hold that cool looking 12, what a truely great song, really enjoyed the video too! I would love to see a JF Rock Doc.
    Anyway as for the upcoming US tour if the last gig in Melbourne is anything to go by “I think you guys are going to rock”.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 4:11 am #

    Mr S. 1. Yes, Cash movie a letdown, Hollywood horse poop. 2. Please release Jack Frost DVDs. 3. Please release more Church DVD’s, I’m wearing out my laser beam on Goldfish. 4. Go give your fans in the U.S. of A. something to remember, that’s all we are in the end, a vessel for memories. 5. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re a perfectionist and we thank you for it. 6. Have a nice day.

  17. avatar
    stealthblue | 27 June 2006 at 4:27 am #

    Hiya Steve,
    So, as far as the tour in the states is concerned, I’m just glad you are doing it. Peronally, I would love to have that shot. I don’t imagine it to be all “bliss and harmony” etc., but that is the dream of dreams to do what you do. The world needs some “Churchin'” for FOOK’s sake. **btw-I spelled “FOOK” like that even before I read your blog:)** It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. It is better you and the good lads do this, than The JET or FRANZ FERNANDO!! For crying out loud! I hear ya on that, brother. But seriously, aren’t you glad you are not some stiff, pencil-pushing “straight” that gave up on his dream 30 odd years ago and is now planning the next hostile take over for Donald Trump’s 3rd conglomerate??? Meanwhile, the guy’s got no family or TRUE friends, not to mention a REAL lover. He’s in huge denial of his self-loathing lifestyle, hates the free-spirited world, including nature and the freakin un-controlled amoebae swimming about, but once a year blows 25 Gs on a nice little vacation to Africa on Safari to blow away some endangered beast to put its horns up on the wall of his 9 million dollar “home!” Yikes.

    No, not our hero. He pushes on in his merrymaking, giving the Churchites a little more to ponder and luxuriate in.
    I know it is work, but it is your work and you are the real deal. We appreciate it, well, I know I do. Yeah, yeah, you know all this. It is that whole greener grass thing. Screw it, go have fun and thank God you’re not someone else, doing what they’re not passionate about everyday.

    Oh, btw, Johnny C. was all hopped up on Amphetamines (dexedrine, shit like that) Then of course thorazine, sleeping pills, crap like that to come down…Good thing he never smoked no MARRY G WANNEE, heaven forbid we praise such a person, let alone make a hollywood feature about him!(If you’re interested, his autobiography is pretty damned good, quite funny actually. (Johnny was quite a fella.) The book is simply called “CASH.”
    Well, gotta go…
    All the best,
    Ben V.

  18. avatar
    fergal | 27 June 2006 at 4:47 am #

    would that b a (if u will) ‘rockumentary’ which u r considering making from the jack frost footage?
    well, i for 1 and very keen to see that!

  19. avatar
    lee | 27 June 2006 at 7:36 am #

    …in a complete change of subject …only fermented soy is meant to be eaten – and then in small amounts -,the other stuff is dangerous. I’m not making this up.signed, the food police.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 8:16 am #

    As much as i apreciate the cavi-ett

    You are the rockah and i am the numbah.(this is yer bloggy i know!)

    You are comin to my town…i ain’t comin’ to yours… And if i did poke me giraffe neck into yer woods would yon yeblik pay 25.00 american rubles with the 1000.00 peso service fee to see me mug and listen to thine chunes?

    i thought naught.

    do nae be naff! i do my bit and you do yours. i would definately agree my dance is a little less glamorous.
    yet that is what we all do…dance

    keep it up, i have the utmost faith in ya.

    now about that gw mclennan mixer you was boastin’ aboot…
    i’ll take one o’ them and some somna.


  21. avatar
    rubikon | 27 June 2006 at 11:00 am #

    Cash and most of those old Rock n’ Rollers were into speed, amphetamines, uppers, whatever, the U.S. army started Presley off when he was in Germany (they used to give it to the troops to keep ’em awake). horrible stuff – I hate speed.

    Can’t say I’ll bother going to see the movie – quite liked Gladiator though.

    I saw your (semi-)Acoustic set in Dublin a couple of years ago (2002?) and you guys certainly rocked the joint.

    As for your up-n’-coming US tour just go with the flow – it’s all just a ride anyway.

    No sympathy intended;)

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 12:27 pm #

    Thanks for those Kil-a-bites.

    WHEN can I ask my questions….?

    I KNOW I am being long suffering about this…but YOU started it by asking us.



  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 1:08 pm #

    Was that a shout out to eggplant?

    Touring sucks, Steve…I’m with ya. I’ve done it about 1/1000th of the time you have, but man, is it a trial.


  24. avatar
    Renee | 27 June 2006 at 1:13 pm #

    I’m sure this won’t change anybody’s opinion about walk the line
    but both Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon did their own singing for the movie, the songs were all re-recorded by the actors for the movie.

  25. avatar
    captainmission | 27 June 2006 at 1:55 pm #

    can’t say i liked gladiators, russel crowe makes me wanna howl at the moon, i fell asleep in the jonney cash movie, maybe i’ll see it again one day, and as far as troy goes, well, you know people should just read the books, it’s amazing how few people even now about them, ‘homer,’ they say, ‘isn’t he the fat dude who eats doughnuts.’
    as far as touring and travelling, just think of it as your own ‘oddessy’ and if you get a chance keep us all posted, one day some people might even turn it into a movie.

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 2:58 pm #

    …at least it wasn’t scruncy faced Rene Zelleweggerama playing June Carter!
    the nod

  27. avatar
    General Catz | 27 June 2006 at 3:12 pm #

    Just glad to have you over here steve. i know the travelling is rough, but i hope that those 2 hours on stage is more than enough to carry you through.

    Last saw you guys 21 years ago in LA and fondly remember our conversation in the hospitality area at universal amphitheatre about writing.

    i’m bringing some friends to one show who haven’t seen you, but remember me talking about the band for years.

    See you from the front row! i’ve sent eek some veggie/vegan restaurants in tempe, arizona to pass on to you, so you should be good to go food-wise here.

    God bless.

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 3:38 pm #

    reminds me of Van Morrison explaining his song, Foreign window, about a person feeling melancholy because he was in a place other than where he wanted to be.

    saw you from a foreign window
    Bearing down the sufferin’ road
    You were carryin’ your burden
    You were singing about Rimbaud

    or as Charlie Watts says about being in the stones : five years playing, 25 years waiting around

  29. avatar
    CSTCoach | 27 June 2006 at 5:23 pm #

    Just bought my tickets for the Sellersville, PA show. Yeah!!!

    Finally, after 20 years of obsessive listening, i will catch my first Church show. Can’t forking wait!

    I never seem to be on the same continent as a tour. Even this time I had to bump by one week an expedition that I’m leading into a remote corner of northern Canada. I’ll now be cutting the weather window a little close (we’re dropped in by air to walk 200 miles, crossing freezing rivers and dodging grizzlies, out of all contact for 22 days…), but if I’m going to be eaten by a grizzly I want to have seen The Church live first. 😉


  30. avatar
    lloyd | 27 June 2006 at 5:53 pm #

    we’re gonna miss ya here in the NW. portland & seattle will have to get the magik from the cd. hope to see ya next time around….

  31. avatar
    Chela | 27 June 2006 at 5:54 pm #

    Chaaaaaa…ryan are you for real, man?

  32. avatar
    CSTCoach | 27 June 2006 at 8:42 pm #


    who, me?

    yeah, far as i can tell…


  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2006 at 10:19 pm #

    SK – I was at that Paddington JF/Ed Kuepper gig. I had no idea of the feud, but you all rocked out magically. Still recall it as a highlight of my youthful gig goign days.

  34. avatar
    landru | 28 June 2006 at 5:57 pm #

    hehe … I was wondering when you would start fretting about the tour. Seemed … un-Church-like behavior. However, even my 4-day Los Angeles trip seemed exhausting, so I totally understand.

    Acoustic will be better, I think. You guys can just play all of “Preist=Aura” and jam for 40 minutes on “Chaos” … and I’ll be happy.

    In-stores (?) well, I raced over to Austin to see Robyn Hitchcock and said, “I’ve been a fan for years” and he said, “Me too.” I think that says it all (as in, nothing at all.)

    But, we’ll be happy to see you, even if you don’t know it.

    Mike (houston)

  35. avatar
    sue cee | 2 July 2006 at 1:39 pm #

    Ryan, a friend of mine went into grizzly territory for a month with just one other guy who was doing research but he forgot his books… it nearly drove him crazy reading the other guy’s one book over and over… he thought if he actually had to confront a grizzly, he’d just throw the damn book at him 🙂

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 September 2006 at 2:47 pm #

    Johnny Cash
    was really
    on Little House on the Prarie
    played a fake preacher

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