posted on March 17, 2007 at 9:26 pm

blogger.fuckingcom has gone crazy
they demand this stupid word verification carry-on
and now the dopey thing has outguessed itself
it chucks my precious blogges in a loop
of me typing out these underwater looking letters again
but even when i get em right
it chucks me back in its dreary cycle
which means yesterday i somehow managed to lose stuff
and the title…
(unless you thought that which case i planned it!)
anyway here i am at yer disposable as per usual
and its me
stevie k here
no time beings yebliks or alternate psyches
just the real thing
the originalest
rather uneek
(drum roll)
to tell ya the truth i feel vaguely angry and stupid
just a load of niggly things
all conspire to get my eye off the ball
im not the self assured prick
i seem to be on here
i get 25 nice comments
i get one comment
about sucking and trying harder
and i feel washed up n defeated
you see
say what you like
and no tirades off abuse to negative commenters please
my people my people
we gotta let the nay sayers say their nay!
lettem say
sk + blogge = hitler
lettem say
“this is boring narcissistic redundant swill”
“read better blogges by an ant”
“kilbey is a fraud, a bully, an impostor!”
“tear your eyes out rather than read kilbeys shemozzle”
insert yer own nasty comment here *
any way
if you written 500 blogges
if youve played an instrument for 1000 years
if you can see the wee folk
and if you trapped the tooth fairy n pulled her wings off
if youve played concerts across antarctica
if youve astral travelled just to see girls in showers
if youve sculpted n danced n succumbed n overcome
if youve written national anthems before breakfast
if youve swam across the ocean n defeated slimy monsters
if youve reincarnated as a renaissance lamp in a dark age
if youve been beamed down here for light relief
if you prefer trees to treachery
if you gotta bee in yer cheek n a tongue in yer bonnet
i dunno
a box of new zealand edition of trivial pursuit
has exploded in our street
we read each other questions as we walk along
now i know piggy muldoons boyhood whatnot
and a loada other totally useless info
i mean n.z.s got matt davison i know
(space for a sigh …or a groan)
and i guess lil timmy poles is a wellington boy
but ….
(new zealand rant deleted by author)
its sunday
if i hadnt noticed
ive finished a portrait of a woman i been doing
for a commission
and its kinda van go go goghey
and aint it funny that van go only sold one painting in his lifetime?
and sad
and it tells ya something about this world
cos now if they discovered a scribble on an olde bit of paper
that vinny had done
itd be auctioning off for gazillions
yet the geezer died an unknown n penniless
talking of doodles
theyre up n hanging about
theyre colouring the bottom of the marker box
so they can see where each colour goes
a dopey conversation ensues
eve : im doing purple
aurora : then we do…
both : the greeen!
aurora : thats right
eve : i know
aurora :there
eve : no there
aurora : i dont wanna do it no more
eve : but aurora you can do the other green
aurora : i dont care
eve : then i’ll do it mahself
aurora : i said i dont care
etc etc
eventually they start sticking skewers down into the stuff
containing the ink and making a mess n ruining the markers
big time daddy intervenes
whatchoo 2 bloody doing there..aurora dont do that!
the doodles have been sprung being turkeys n theyre embarrassed
they try to retreat to their room
whattabout all this bloody mess?
dont leave it there!
the doodles sorta kinda clean up their mess
and then retreat to bedroom
eve cocks her ear to my brian eno ambient music
its the same thing over n over she says
and closes her bedroom door
the morning is warm n overcast
sunday morning
look out the worlds behind you!
sunday morning coming down
and sunday afternoon
lazy sunday afternoon
the inevitability of school or work tomorrow
it leaves its shadow even on us who dont “work”
(in the traditional sense)
sunday bloody sunday
how long
how long will i write this blog
how loa loa loa loa long?
last night had veggie taquitos
next to a raining deserted bondi beach
we walked along the boardwalk in the light rain
bumper takes each tiny drop personally
she swats at the rain and gives off a series of oohs
as they hit her
later it rains harder
i pick her up
and put her on my shoulders
she sits there
miserably oohing as the rain comes down on us
she holds up her hands to ward it off
but she hasnt figured out what it actually is yet
ie just water!
today is the harbour bridges 75th birthday
theyre gonna close it down n ya can walk over it
and tonite is fireworks on bridge
which i can see from my kitchen window
there were some fireworks there a few weeks back
bumper watched them
oh wow
OH WOW! to the big explosions
and then for a few nights after
everytime she looked out that window at night
she would still be saying oh wow
expecting to see the fireworks again…
(or maybe she was still seeing em)
bumper is a very very demanding little girl
and she likes things done by the book
and she doesnt wanna be left out
and everythings fine
as long as its going her way
well bumper has a bit to learn about manners
sometimes shes unpredictably violent n bad tempered
screaming n dancing up n down like rumpelstiltskin
she reminds me of a little creature i call a woofle
now everyone here calls bumper the woofle too
wheres the woofle etc?
she really is like a little forest creature
the bumper fairy
too chubby for her wings
she cant fly
she just bounces along
them doodles n woofles
keep a man real real busy

31 Responses to “more malarkey”

  1. avatar
    syrinx | 17 March 2007 at 9:38 pm #


    “gotta let the naysayers say their nay”

    what a rhythm!


  2. avatar
    eek | 17 March 2007 at 9:51 pm #

    i get one comment
    about sucking and trying harder
    and i feel washed up n defeated

    That’s exactly what that type of comment is designed to do. They aren’t for any good or constructive purpose. They hurt, and they are supposed to hurt. It’s effective and doesn’t take any creativity. I’d say just ignore them, but I know it’s not that simple.

    and if you trapped the tooth fairy n pulled her wings off

    tsk, tsk. And you wondered why you had bad teeth. 😉

    I have to say it yet again: I love the doodles and baby bumper stories.

  3. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 17 March 2007 at 10:37 pm #

    alas , alas , a lass’s ass

    just been doin some time in cranium town( jus past violet up an over the hill)and sumthin s been on me mind , ya see, i hope weve not fallen out of favor , or seem more dimly lit or somehow less welcome because of our non subscription status, cause i will subsribe its just we got ta plant our feet first after this astounding year,… id like to encourage others to do so as well
    cause this aint no piece a cake folks its the whole enchilada,. the tops ..and it helps us feel party to sumthin larger and special ,..

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 March 2007 at 10:39 pm #

    10-4 good buddy…we’ve got our ears on.~~ this here is a Convoy! Keep on Bloggin!!! Did they ever have piggly -wigglies in australia??? I remember one across the shabby street i lived on as a little kid… the first and just about the only time i ever stole something…i opened a bag of red-hot candies and pilfered a handful- a candy junky!!! after my candy fix i’d go behind the dumpster and light some matches…I could write THE BOOK on childhood fall from grace…Some fine and fateful day! I will be your fisherman….Sk youve got light in your HEAD~*~ Dee in Tx……..

  5. avatar
    syrinx | 17 March 2007 at 10:45 pm #

    @baal ‘n’ zeus:


  6. avatar
    damien | 17 March 2007 at 10:46 pm #

    Will you be taking the kids for a stroll over the Coathanger, dad?

  7. avatar
    PAGEY | 17 March 2007 at 10:53 pm #

    Man have i struggled with those type the text you see boxes before too. I mean come on they insult our intelligence.

    I almost lost my whole system yesterday but thanks for system restore points I saved it. What a relief.


  8. avatar
    Daberhasher | 17 March 2007 at 10:58 pm #

    my kids are pretty pissed about the tooth fairy’s wings there mister… the DMT elves don’t cut the mustard for them… yuk yuk yuk… look, out in the woods, it’s a pine eel…
    ugh, i’m snowed in and feelin’ a bit down on myself too, but this too shall pass… have a fine sunday mate, there’s a month of them out there somewhere…

    ahh, piggly wiggly’s… takes me back to rocky mount nth cakalaki…
    good times, good times…

    vivaldi love indie world,

  9. avatar
    Melquiades | 17 March 2007 at 11:29 pm #

    yeah, speaking of the issues with this blog. I can’t even sign in normally without going through several armed checkpoints, which require peices of DNa and strands of hair for proof.

    It can’t take the spontaeity out your delivery.

    YOu paint quite a whimsical picture of the woolfle. very cute lil terror.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 March 2007 at 12:07 am #

    i’ve astral travelled across a universe to lay against a boy to help him dream and warm his toes

  11. avatar
    Melquiades | 18 March 2007 at 12:24 am #

    you’re good.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 March 2007 at 12:34 am #

    The real Steve Kilbey?? oh sure, you can’t fool us, the real SK checked out in 98, or was it 2001, anyway, he was last spotted in the Blue Marlin at Ulludulla pulling beers for people from Canberra on the summer holidays, moonlighting as a channel 10 news reader (for the Nowra/Sth coast edition, WIN or whatever its called), still, jus like the old SK, he doesn’t claim to know the truth, he just reports it.

  13. avatar
    Samosanx | 18 March 2007 at 12:49 am #

    it’d like the ocean though sin’t it? the rythm of this ttb….some times it surges and gets stormy, and sometimes it lulls and is peaceful like now….

    and I quote ; “wow”

    it’s raining here too…you mob gonna walk the bridge?

  14. avatar
    tim | 18 March 2007 at 12:54 am #

    Regardless of what people say, by the sounds of it you are a great father and thats the most important role you’ll play.

    Keep yer head up mate!

    All the best!

    Tim (from Canada not the one in N.Z.)

  15. avatar
    Samosanx | 18 March 2007 at 12:55 am #

    it’s like the ocean though, isn’t it

  16. avatar
    Symon | 18 March 2007 at 1:31 am #

    Steve…some thoughts from le blogge….

    1st..morph rumpelstiltskin into “Grumplestiltskin” when the doodles are grumpy/angry/annoyed and it is great throw away line that isn’t nasty. My 11 yr old always starts laughing when I call her that in one of those moments.

    2nd…I’m not suprised that the bumper/woofle is offended by the rain..the poor kid hasn’t really seen any so far due to our savage drought.

    3rd…the way doodles n woofles keep a man busy is the best sortta busy…really special part of life. Maybe it’s cos I’m only a weekend dad…but I love how my 11 yr old needs me so much.

    4th…hearing how eve & aurora stormed off to their rooms reminded me of yesterday in the car. I had los churchos playing on cd..the 11 yr old protested for 15 minutes straight..I said I was completing her education. Under extraordinary sufference I did the commercial FM shuffle uurggh..crap. After not even finding any songs the 11 yr old liked…I cunningly put it back on Grind.

    The 11 yr old sprung me…cracked the shits about the Church. “All you listen to is the Church. Why do you like Steve Kilbey dad ???..all he does is kill bees…” (11 yr old snigger).

    She then said…ALRIGHT…but the only Church song I will listen to is the one about circuses and elephants. I sighed…I said wot about the Commonwealth Games song (UTMW)’d know that one. 11 yr old say NUP…Mum wouldn’t let me watch the Ceremony.

    Kids….great source of inspiration…gotta lurve ’em.

    Nice thoughts/images/feelings from the blog..thanks Steve.

  17. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 18 March 2007 at 1:47 am #

    check this out, me was watching “LOST” last Wednesday and saw Emilie De Ravin’s character using a baby towel of some sort that said BONDI BEACH, then me was wishing me was there watching the fireworks with you…

  18. avatar
    Sunshine | 18 March 2007 at 2:04 am #

    I’m afraid Eek is right about the naysayers who always must say “nay” at any open opportunity. The sort of nay that was said yesterday was of the sort that expends the least brain activity to conjure up. You pour your guts out for several lines, and a one-liner eats at you? I have some nay to say about that.

    Why is it that we all do this to ourselves? Some positives can be as throwaway as the negatives, but the negatives always eat at us more than the positives. It doesn’t seem fair. That naysayer didn’t bother to leave a name or sign in. That should remove the credibility the naysayer had. (How many times can I say naysayer in this?)

    I find it hard to accept the opinions of completely anonymous people on the internet. It’s one thing to just interact as an anon, but it’s no way to have a debate.

    Would you take to heart the opinion of a faceless stranger in the public bathroom stall next to you? I might listen, but I probably wouldn’t remember it.

  19. avatar
    restaurant mark | 18 March 2007 at 2:47 am #

    great one…loved the “in which case i planned it” hilarious!

  20. avatar
    MEM | 18 March 2007 at 2:58 am #

    Born-Free Barnicles

    more? where? there? here? anywhare?

    you see more?

    more what?

    more this?

    more that?

    more me?

    more he, she it?

    more of what cannot be?

    more of what is?

    more of what isn’t?

    more of what should be?

    that that will be?

    that that will never be?

    will you?

    will me?





    with you













    all this

    all of us

    all of when

    born free

    free as

    the evening

    free as

    the sea








    will ever


  21. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 March 2007 at 3:40 am #

    eek’s right, steve. just ignore the assholes. i know, i know….easier said than done. you’re human, so of course it hurts!! there’s a world of truth to the old tired saying “misery enjoys company”, and that’s why they do it. they’re so bent on pulling anybody down with them. but it’s also true that you can’t control what people do, but you can control how you react to their actions.

    so, in other news….i love your stories about your girls. i’m reminded so much of my own daughter. she’s willful, alright!!

    yes, that is indeed sad about van gogh. he was ahead of his time, and i guess people weren’t ready for that, ufnortunately.

    did the fambly stroll across the harbour? how was it??

    lotza love….

  22. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 March 2007 at 3:43 am #

    oops….that’s “unfortunately”. typing too fast. **blush**

  23. avatar
    CSTCoach | 18 March 2007 at 4:27 am #

    “i get 25 nice comments
    i get one comment
    about sucking and trying harder
    and i feel washed up n defeated”

    it’s pretty easy to say “you can do better” off the cuff. how many of those people ever created anything? (or anything more than a sorry excuse?) much easier to be a griping critic than a creator.

    sure, not everything does it for every single person, but i suspect that the regular readers on here come back day after day because you nail it for them more often than nought.

    I agree with Sunshine: “I find it hard to accept the opinions of completely anonymous people on the internet.”

    At least have a login name. In the world of martial art and coaching i’ve found that it’s easy to talk tough from behind a keyboard. none of those people have ever put anything on the line, have ever put themselves out there. if they did they’d be willing to back it up by having the courtesy to sign their names and stand by their opinions. it ain’t worth much otherwise.


  24. avatar
    the other steve | 18 March 2007 at 4:41 am #

    It’s quite simple…and Steve gets it even if he doen’t like it. You publish something (yes even this blog qualifies for that) and then you open your self up for critisism. You don’t want people to disagree with you or have another viewpoint then either don’t publish or don’t have a facility for feedback. If you want to operate in a vaccum then remove the comment facility. If feedback is wanted, then -yes- it’s naive to think the whole world is going to agree with everything you say or position you take. Steve invites comments regualrly, correct? Sometimes his bloggs are inflammatory and even slightly slanderous and I have put my name down in addressing some of the points he has made. I have not been agreed with – surprise, surprise!! I’m big enough and ugly enough to handle it. There are plenty of readers who agree with everything he write ….regardless of what he is saying sometimes. That’s when the ‘tag’ sycophant crops up, and even Steve addresses some of his readers in this way so it’s hard to act like they don’t exist here on this blog. They do. There are ass-kissers everwhere so why should here be any different? They have a right to their feelings and responses as indeed everyone does. Including me.

    So hit me with your best shot. I’d prefer a spirited discourse when several points of view aired, and everyone does’nt have to agree. Like the real world.

  25. avatar
    eek | 18 March 2007 at 6:53 am #

    the other steve — I don’t think you’re the asshole in question (I’m too lazy to check back very far though, so maybe you are 😉 ). There is a difference between disagreement and a pointless comment designed only to hurt, surely you know that. “boring. try harder” is pointless and rude. Also, castigating SK on his heroin addiction and then asking “Why did you become a junkie Steve?” is rude (ripping into someone who has just posted such a personal and painful account is vicious any way you cut it) and pointless because if that person had bothered to read the damned post he told us why heroin was attractive to him initally and then went in to how he got hooked. Besides, the person who wrote that comment had already judged SK and found him guilty — no matter what SK could ever say, it would never be reason enough for that commenter because that commenter made sure to tell everyone he/she knew better and would never have gotten hooked. The question could have been asked in a much less aggressive and combative way (and was by others).

    Those are a couple of examples of comments which by either their vapidness or their aggressiveness add nothing but ill-will.

  26. avatar
    davem | 18 March 2007 at 7:57 am #

    But all of the yous are the real thing.
    Always interesting to hear about your domestic bliss.
    Enjoy your walk over the bridge. It’s Mothers Day here in blighty and I’ve been instructed by wifey that we have to cater for the carnivores too.
    And talking of U2 lyrics it’s a beautiful day here.

  27. avatar
    the other steve | 18 March 2007 at 8:17 am #

    eek….thanks for your response.

    You are right, I didn’t make either of those comments you are refering to. As I said, I use an easily recognisable avatar. I agree, ‘boring, try harder’ is neither here nor there and as such requires little attention. As to questions on heroin use, I think it’s OK to ask a fair question as it’s an ongoing topic here. There is often a lot of aggression in Steve’s posts so I guess you reap what you sow. And he’s a big enough bloke to argue a point if he wants to:- sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. Fair enough, it’s his show. The Steve Kilbey Show. That’s why I’m here.

  28. avatar
    malcolm arkey | 18 March 2007 at 8:19 am #

    Taxonomologically speaking, I believe the “Woofle” is something of a cross between an “Ewok” and a “Womble” (of Wimbledon), no ?

  29. avatar
    CSTCoach | 18 March 2007 at 3:06 pm #

    “the other steve — I don’t think you’re the asshole in question […] There is a difference between disagreement and a pointless comment designed only to hurt, surely you know that.”

    I agree. I was referring to the anonymous sniping as well, and not to those who sign in with an identifiable login name. 🙂

  30. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 March 2007 at 4:28 pm #

    here here. i second that, eek and cstcoach.

  31. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 19 March 2007 at 6:58 am #

    “im not the self assured prick
    i seem to be on here
    i get 25 nice comments
    i get one comment
    about sucking and trying harder
    and i feel washed up n defeated”

    It’s good to know that you are in fact human like the rest of us Steve.

    Despite the occasional disagreeable comment or harsh word, you are liked pretty well or we wouldn’t be coming back to check in on you. I’ve disagreed with you as much as anyone on some occasions, but these things are often neccesary to reach an understanding and truer appreciation of a person. Don’t let it get you down.

    And here’s hoping that one day Eve “gets” Eno’s music, it’s brilliant stuff.

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