posted on September 17, 2009 at 2:43 am

i have to laugh again
at the things bandied around on these pages
the things i write n do
and some of my dear precious commenters stuff
i love to make music
i love to write songs
why songs fly into my mind almost unbidden
music is like in my blood in my genes in my jeans in my fingers
life has shaped me thus
no carpenter
no doctor
no candlestick maker
was i
or can i ever be
i must create
even if no one listens
i did before
i will again
so be it!
i have stood before you all
in all honesty
my blog has turned into a circus
where i try to tame myself
and i let the clowns n villains run free
being partially both of these things myself
yes i am a clown
a clown …did he make you scared
these songs i throw down on here…..
small gifts for you
simple things a master tosses off
(mr humphries!)
easy happy songs
short and sweet
no great shakes
except
oooh i know theyre good
theyre catchy and jesus
now marc bolans gone
who else is gonna write these songs
take em or fuckin’ leave em
theyre there for free
if you like em a real lot you can show your ‘preciation
…thats getting paid for what i do…thats not begging by the way
when you donate money
you subscribe to this journal n my life
and you all subsidize the long hours i put into it
the songs n vids took hours n hours n hours
i’m just exploring i-movie n garage band
and i offer you a chance to view my modest experiments
ive done big budget
ive done small budget
ive done the opening of the games
to being ignored in some empty dive in wollongong
ive given you mystery
ive given you glamour
ive given you all that noir stuff in spades
now at the ripe old age of 55 years
i sit at home n tinker with stuff
the church are beginning up soon
i have some respite now
i spend time with my little familiar s k
shes in on stuff i do
asking questions
she becomes part of the scene
imagine this
i am an old geezer
relaxing at home …a well earned rest
but i burn up with ideas
and i paint n compose n i write stuff n i make up jokes
and i love the new technology that allows me instant gratification
i hate explaining my creative plans to people
this way i just knock it out direct from the source
i am 55
beyond your map of cool n uncool
i wear my shorts cos i live at the beach
i am an eccentric 55 year old beachcomber
who happens to also be a good songwriter
n pretty good at a few other things
ive done my time in the frontline wherever that was
now if you dig what i do
i have many outlets
ranging from the church which aims at being professional i guess
down to my blog
which is my sketchbook if you will
if you want mystery here it is
aint it a mystery to you how i can continue to do it all..?
well
i got this fuckin’ fire burning on n urging me to keep going
you might see me in a tux singing dark cabaret
you might see me wielding my bass with my band
you might see me poncing about on my little vids…is he having a laugh?
is he having a laugh?
and now i’m so old
i’m five years off sixty
i’m old
I’M OLD!
dont you see….
the compensation of being old is
i reckon
i can do what i like
i just got five barrel loads of kudos for u#23
i had an exhibition in pittsburgh n i sold six paintings
i collaborated with him n him n them
and i did this n that
wineries
festivals
guest singing
blah blah blah
it is hilarious to me
to see people pontificating
if i should get a real job
a real job
worrying themselves on my behalf
and my financial stability (none!)
but i’m still here
and i aint retiring cos some small bunch of unnamed punters
rudely and stupidly start discussing this idea
no…i aint gonna stop
no…i aint gonna listen
no…..i am complete n completely mad
and i lay my songs on my fans out of love
as always
these songs can only be written by someone in love with music like me
understanding my terrain
i successfully negotiate minefields of resistance to bring you my offerings
naysayers n tiredness n deafness n blindness n oldness get me down
i create because i create because i create
a true journeyman
a man for all seasons ive shown you ice
now heres warmth
i showed you black….now heres white…
…whatever….

i cant be bound to any old bodys idea of who i am
otherwise i never wooda got started in the 1st place
it is not in my nature to “grow up”
i will twirl if i want to
(hope you can twirl at 55 too ha ha)
(i bet you cant!)
i cant get a job
and i cant go to school
the carping ninnies say
the killers a fool…
i have eight hundred readers a day
you can check the stats yerselves
count to eight hundred in yer head slowly
each time imagining a person somewhere in the world
reading or watching my blog
coming back day after day
because
i dunno
maybe i dunno what i’m doing
it doesnt matter
run off to your frosty idol
the years went past left me stranded here
old n having squandered many opportunities
still i have an unbridled passion for creating things
that only i can create
oh i wood love mainstream success
oh i would love money
oh i would love to live forever as well
however
i do what i like n unparadoxically
i like what i do
no one else can do it
youre seeing the intersection of age n experience
crossed with the raw brutal energy
with which i have attacked all art
against the zeigeist
against the times
against the odds
against the “straights”
against the man in the street
dig it you must
you must dig what i do or switch off
i get it wrong
but my wrong is most peoples right
your right to switch off
i dont ask any to stay if they had enough
enough is enough is enuff, right?
who needs more than enough?
if this is where our ways part
good luck
thanks for everything
so long amigo see you soon huh
to hang about now is churlish
surely
the snipers in the very act of sniping
have deemed themselves cowards
jealous envious bored cowards
sniping in the void
trying to wound me
i say it again
i suffer you in all humility
like i suffer thorns or i suffer from my deafness
things cant be all dancing on clouds
and i understand life needs its obstacles and hurdles
its pests n inconveniences
hence n thus
you have been delivered unto me
pretending to be friends
pretending to be strangers
pretending to be pretending
you are but shadows of mockery
no one will remember you
you arent moving any mountains
you are not seeing any visions
just an aphorism for every occasion
meanwhile
i master the english language and shape it to myself
i write a sentence n you can tell its me
i strum a chord
i pluck a bass
you hear my voice
i chuck on some paint
i write down the words
i edit up the film
i inject myself into it all
i push n push n push
can you even understand
how my idiot/savant-hood wracks me
on its ever burning churning fountain of raw ideas
it cannot be turned off until i die
and oh i will regret losing all this experience
the way only i can handle sound n colour n words
the last fucking renaissance man standing: go on have a laugh
will the real steve kilbey please contact me?
no
i will continue
i will improve
i will confuse myself with my genius and my idiot
i cant get em apart……can you?

60 Responses to “my creative hubris”

  1. avatar
    steve kilbey | 17 September 2009 at 4:14 am #

    please jasperina
    spruik your art-gig here!

  2. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 17 September 2009 at 4:31 am #

    sweet Jesus…

  3. avatar
    HannahGiles | 17 September 2009 at 4:44 am #

    I like to disguise myself as someone friendly and in need so I can betray your kindness.

  4. avatar
    we of Cadbury Castle always | 17 September 2009 at 4:47 am #

    {or an adaptation of a wise gentle old man's words.;-D}"Better to bare the twirl,and bare the shame,and hit the wall,then bare the pain,and get back up again,and do it again,than to have not done it at all"{actually,i do believe he was talking about burping,BUT,;-0 ;-D}de-tractors,are like de-pots,and in their de-fence,one can place a flower,as a sign of peace.Love and Peace to you and your family,Steve Kilbey.Thank you for the Music.Thank you for the Time,being.{and by the way,you are way older than that other famous carpenter,haha,;) n much better looking,too,i'd say,not that i ever met him,but i did see him in the seven eleven a few days ago!!}x

  5. avatar
    jasperina | 17 September 2009 at 4:59 am #

    quite an honest self-critique

    time being

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 5:42 am #

    SK

    Keep it up i love it

    DR

  7. avatar
    princey | 17 September 2009 at 6:03 am #

    Yes!, please continue doing what you're doing sk, all of it, you are one in a million:)
    Cool painting too.
    love Amanda

  8. avatar
    vortex | 17 September 2009 at 6:09 am #

    SK is a starfish that regrows his limbs when severed by the sticks and stones of childrens proddings.

  9. avatar
    melissa | 17 September 2009 at 6:11 am #

    hey, if anyone fancies having a look at some photo's I took at the wonderful Kilbey~Kennedy show last Thursday, please feel free to have a look here :

    http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=156685&id=692586216&l=d426366898

    I tried not to put any silly one's Amanda 😉

    Sk, I hope one day you WILL make a film a~la Patti … that would be brilliant 😀

    xxxxx

  10. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 17 September 2009 at 6:20 am #

    This is an experiment, whether it is what you say, play, write or otherwise. There is no right or wrong in this. creation in a forum will suffer and will also benefit from the adulation and the criticism.

    This raw energy is up to you to interpret.

    The comments are also part and parcel of this experiment.

    While i don't particularly like the negative 'sniping' as you so succinctly defined.

    The reality is that is what it is.

    Steven Kilbey has all the power in the world (within this blog) to deny this negative BS.

    Yet you choose not to.
    A true Democrat!
    The voice of the masses (albeit 800 of us) will be heard. If they so wish.

    I applaud your fortitude or your narcissism.Perhaps both.

    I have no idea.

    I do know that i will listen cause the words are inspired and the music makes me happy.

    Just keep making music and i will always be a supporter.

    seriously kids, calm the fuck down.

    love and kisses with a kitten,

    -glynnis

  11. avatar
    RA | 17 September 2009 at 6:35 am #

    Steve.
    Every word a gem. I never understood those who came to a party and then stayed to criticise the hosts catering/wine/decor…
    I'm only (!) 42 and I'm beginning to realise that the perspective it gives me is that I don't have to worry too much about what those who would criticise me think.
    I just keep the ones I love close and grin inanely back at the ones who would put me down. It's their loss.
    I'm off to Merrick's 40th this weekend.He's playing drums with a few friends in a one-off "garage band" doing covers of songs from 1969. Positive vibrations all round.
    Peace and love to ya.
    Richard

  12. avatar
    12str | 17 September 2009 at 8:00 am #

    i think the mix between the genius and the idiot makes the magic….:)haha! And don´t forget (was it Macchiavelli that said?)- keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer..Anyway, Oz seems like a nice place to be when things start to turn real cold up here in the north..
    with respect and envy.. 😉
    //P

  13. avatar
    eek | 17 September 2009 at 8:08 am #

    "the compensation of being old is
    i reckon
    i can do what i like"

    One of my mum's many pearls of wisdom was once you get past a certain age you can say or do anything and get away with it. And she usually did!

    "i do what i like n unparadoxically
    i like what i do"

    That alone is worth a great deal. Not that many people can honestly say that about their work and lives.

    "i will twirl if i want to"

    Fuck yeah!

    And the wonky knees/legs thing — keep doing that too! It's fun and goofy and totally charming.

  14. avatar
    the dean | 17 September 2009 at 8:42 am #

    I'll give you the tip on real jobs,

    They suck arse.

  15. avatar
    A. Kite | 17 September 2009 at 8:53 am #

    Once again you serve up the perfect hemlock tea for simple-minded half-wits that stalk these pages and give you "advice." (What a fucking joke most of you anons are.)

    Yes, nothing but crosses and stakes for all the vampires!

    Love you, SK.

    Louis
    Georgia
    USA

    Ps. The painting looks great on the wall. The Eyes Of Nature, glancing at me every day…

    //

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 8:55 am #

    I I captain

  17. avatar
    just random memory | 17 September 2009 at 8:57 am #


    that night drivin
    in @ 11:23

    echoing into
    starry blue…

    …gotta get up

    gotta go on…

    i'm outside staring
    up as if

    there was
    no other place

  18. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 17 September 2009 at 9:17 am #

    Amen, Reverend Kilbey – I am a believer.

  19. avatar
    fantasticandy | 17 September 2009 at 9:34 am #

    finally caught-up with the blog!
    my….youv'e been prodigious in the last week or so.

    look…..
    if i had my way all your projects would be a huge commercial success.
    but, so would mine!
    i admire your pluck in publishing this negative 'anon' twaddle…especially seeing as most of it is very spitefull in it's construction….not at all casual and utterly devoid of humor or compassion.

    yer a top bloke kilbey.
    'n a more eloqent fellow iv'e yet to encounter.
    seems to me youv'e matured into a good-natured, even-handed solomon-type chap who simply 'copes' with the detritus that comes with being 'open'.
    i admire you….and so do these detractors, their brains just contain some weird bad-mojo filter that turns adulation to envy.
    perhaps their own creative leanings have been stifled somehow?
    who knows?
    who cares?
    the time being cares.
    and that's the problem.
    you conduct their dark energies,
    an unfortunate by-product.
    but, hey….it's nearly all love mate!
    some of it pretty inarticulate, some ultra-verbose, some expressed in snappy one liners and so on.
    however,
    if you throw enough shit at a wall, eventually some of it sticks,
    it's inevitable some of the spite hurled at you will hurt.

    rest assured bro'…your work is superb, your'e very nearly peerless.
    i listen to a great deal of stuff by a wide range of artists…old, new….many genres…always have done….our record collections have much common ground…and i tell ya now,(as if you need me to tell you anything)your'e still right up there, still pushing the envelope, still inspiring and thrilling.
    yeah..thrilling, painkiller was album of the year bar none.

    oh….the painting?
    you look rather proud of it.
    and so you should be!
    it's wonderful.
    it will take pride of place in my home.
    'n if you ARE ever out this way, it's your home too…
    thank-you my marvelous friend!
    much love,
    andy.

  20. avatar
    Rik Rehab | 17 September 2009 at 9:38 am #

    Amen brother!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 10:49 am #

    That was a tour de force.

    Thanks for everyhing you do and
    long may you do it.

    (I will remain initial-less at this time)

  22. avatar
    cazziem | 17 September 2009 at 11:05 am #

    Firstly, as I keep telling you, age is but a number others use to judge us by!!!

    You are NOT old! Those of us who follow you here do so not just because we are ardent admirers of you as a person, but because we are also passionate about your creativity and especially your music. We all know that music has no age – people enjoy all genres from classical through to punk, but realistically, like fashion, music trends just go around in circles. When I listen to your compositions across the years, having only recently discovered this amazing sound like no other, I know I would have enjoyed the style then as much as I do now. Mozart wrote his first composition at the age of 5/6 way back in 1763 and yet 246 years later his pieces are still enjoyed and even used as backgrounds to pop tunes and more. None of the greats ever really enjoyed the success they deserved during their life time, but at least with modern technology, it means people like me have the opportunity to not just enjoy what they truly relish and thrive on, but get the chance to praise the creator who stands proud of his conviction!

    After accomplishing something, most people use it over and over again like a gramophone records, (or for the younger ones, a CDs) until it cracks; this can NEVER BE SAID OF STEVE KILBEY. When they do this, they are forgetting that the past is just the stuff with which to make more future!!!!

    Well done Mr K, you ARE in the same league as those whose names people will always remember.

  23. avatar
    grow fins | 17 September 2009 at 11:21 am #

    Bet you have been ignored in dives in other places apart from Wollongong.I choose to live here beats the crap out of Sydney and like you I love Melbourne last thurs saw sk/mk great show met the lovely kate
    Great posting today would be nice if you could give the gong a fair go

  24. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 17 September 2009 at 11:21 am #

    you look like you had a blast making yesterday's offering, lots of fun….
    good on ya mate, keep being your same uncompromising self…..

    love always…..

  25. avatar
    Jasperina | 17 September 2009 at 11:30 am #

    MOONSHADOW

    An exhibition of paintings and drawings by Cita.

    I paint the female muse, birds, cats, flowers and trees whirling in imaginary dreamscapes.

    Opening night-Friday 9th October at 7pm

    Ruby's Place and Performance Cafe
    Roscoe St Bondi Beach
    http://www.chapelbythesea.com

  26. avatar
    veleska1970 | 17 September 2009 at 11:41 am #

    "and i aint retiring …"
    no no no, don't!!! continue doing what you do and keep the bullies at bay.

    lotza love…..

  27. avatar
    loolaabillions | 17 September 2009 at 12:21 pm #

    bravo

    you are
    who you are
    and what a
    true gift that is….x

    oh i received my
    beautiful paintings
    the other day
    my lord
    they are absolutely
    captivating
    thank you so much….xox

  28. avatar
    Freddie | 17 September 2009 at 12:40 pm #

    I can’t imagine you doing anything else 🙂
    And you know what, as old as you claim to be
    you really are one of the youngest people I know
    and I mean that in a good way.
    Of course you’ll never fall for it
    but don’t ever let them take the light.
    xoxo

  29. avatar
    Freddie | 17 September 2009 at 12:43 pm #

    …..and that painting behind you is soooooo cool! 🙂

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 1:19 pm #

    Love your passion SK!Always have and always will.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 1:20 pm #

    Happy Birthday Merrick!!!

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 1:59 pm #

    Excellent, I love it.
    What a great way of saying "fuck the anons"!
    And yes, I want to hear you sing dark cabaret!
    Torch songs, deep into the lonely night…in a snowed-in bar that Neuman's off his face in.
    This is it!

  33. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 17 September 2009 at 3:11 pm #

    Sk respects the Creator (who bestowed him with so much talent) via not eating the Creator's creatures that are wrongfully killed in slaughterhouses and fishing nets. He performs at vegan festivals and cruelty-free living events because he knows exactly what's destroying the Creator's earth.

    "Forget Yourself" and "Hologram Of Baal" are incomparable masterpieces created by SK and his amigos. There are many other Church CD's at the same realm of greatness.

  34. avatar
    CSTCoach | 17 September 2009 at 3:20 pm #

    well said! it's been such a cool ride. never what i expected (if i even expected anything). looking fwd to seeing where you take it from here. long live this sketchpad and these bursts of creative output.

  35. avatar
    Ellen | 17 September 2009 at 3:23 pm #

    There are people in the world who have an irresistible “calling” – their "assignment" from On High. Yours clearly is the gift of music, art, creativity. You can't HELP but do that – it’s your raison d’être.

    The people I admire most are those who truly follow their heart and refuse to "conform" to what they THINK they SHOULD do (i.e. "get a real job," "grow up," etc.).

    That is why I keep coming back to your blog. It's raw and real – no pretentiousness.

    Starting in January (after clearing up some issues), I will start subscribing. Anything to support the "arts."

    P.S. You're not old. Eccentric? Yes. Old? No.

  36. avatar
    originality meter | 17 September 2009 at 3:23 pm #

    was tryin to think of where i'd seen the kilbey arm movements in these videos – then, quite horribly, it dawned – of course: you copied it off Stipe in that Losing My Religion video!
    Undeniable similarity, dude.
    If it wasn't intentional or ironic, that makes it even worse too – unconscious REM influences, eurgh!

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 3:27 pm #

    sk,
    it is true. no one does what you do. sounds cliche but….
    all my faves boast the same but can back it up. you are unique. and man you can really deliver, over and over again, and then again.
    how about an mp3 download of these new ditties. i love 'em. sk's family album. good stuff. but you know that.
    please waste not time with the naysayers. nay is never worth much to anyone.
    howse the yoga?

    now to the pay button,
    richard m.

    p.s. lots of us 69ers round here.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 6:44 pm #

    I really enjoy the fact that you are using all these new technologies to communicate with us.

    In years past I could go aeons without hearing or seeing anything (radio, music mags etc), but now you can 'mainline' with us via your blog, and sharing new song ideas, etc etc.

    Just keeping up with the blog often helps to kick off other ideas for me. Like when I'm taking notes for Uni or just getting down ideas I sometimes do this in a 'kilbeyesque' fashion, so that I don't always need to feel like I'm trying to make 'linear' sense (ie. writing complete literate, grammatical sentences).

    Experimenting and creativity are buddies, like Robert Logie Baird being asked why he persisted when he'd failed 600+ times saying something like 'I've found 600 ways that didn't work'.

    I remember when I quit the civil service years ago I didn't want to write with a black pen for quite a while. Sometimes I'd just draw.

    The songs with the children's voices made me smile, and that's a positive.

    One of my fave VU songs was/is 'Temptation inside your heart'. Not children's voices, but somebody having fun.

    I've always hated 'Another Brick in the wall' though

    Oops, off on another one of my random all over the shop posts. Happens I s'pose. Best get back to the studying, exam next month

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2009 at 8:02 pm #

    thank god for the internet thank god for sk

  40. avatar
    steve kilbey | 17 September 2009 at 8:30 pm #

    thank you my friends
    you validate me again
    i appreciate your kind words

    technical note : the female voices youve heard on here lately on my vids are not my family but me going thru a garage band effect : male into female (mr humphries!)

    i copy mick jagger shamelessly but
    def. not michael stripe…i assure you….

    lotsa love
    sk

  41. avatar
    davem | 17 September 2009 at 9:29 pm #

    There'll never be another quite like you. You said it best.
    Inspiring stuff today, esskay.
    Fuck 'em!!
    x

  42. avatar
    davem | 17 September 2009 at 9:30 pm #

    Andy – mate I just looked at the painting!! It's your lovely chrissy!!
    How wonderful!

  43. avatar
    Melquiades | 17 September 2009 at 10:05 pm #

    everyone attempts to pigeonhole
    tries their best to give you advice
    tries to help?
    I feel like myself speaking, humbly of course, have never tried to say this or that or maybe, even.

    You are doing what you should be doing. there are no recommendations here
    no suggestions as to how you live your life Steve. I accept you for who you are.

    Keep on keeping, man…..

  44. avatar
    don quixote | 17 September 2009 at 11:09 pm #

    Love it when you rant!

  45. avatar
    plumlady | 18 September 2009 at 12:38 am #

    Wonderful blog today Steve. I think most of us are jealous, nongs or not; of your creativity, talent, looks for being 55; and mostly the time you have to commit to playing around with technology in ever so many ways for your own creative gratification. Instead of having to have "a real job" like myself, who actually has to have two just to keep my boat afloat here in Mpls; I'd love to have the idle time to just do as I please with even an ounce of the creativity that you have. I barely have time to check into this blog daily let alone actually put one together with music and videos!

    And the best part of all, for all of us; is that you share it…for free mostly. And we are all so lucky to have all these new technologies to be able to receive it and take it in.

    There are certainly more appreciate souls here on this blog than the morans who make the negative comments; but it's the internet after all…free speech, whatever. Don't let them get you down; it's not even real criticism but rather an amuzement of sorts that could all be someone's idea of bullshit to irritate someone they don't even know. Like a window peeker who will never knock on the door.

    I've been loving you since the first time I heard the band, long before any of this visual or blog technology existed and all I had was the songs and the liner notes; so please keep on keepin on, until your eyes and fingers are too old to type.

  46. avatar
    jactin | 18 September 2009 at 1:54 am #

    Reins around the horse's throat…..

  47. avatar
    Bender | 18 September 2009 at 2:20 am #

    Tell it like it is Steve…let em have it! You are much appreciated and we fans love it that you guys love to make us happy! Too Generous you are and modest too about being generous! You may have fire burning inside you but it's called Gen-er-os-i-ty! The Time Being keeps ticking away so why not spend the time doing it that way! Cheers from Saint Louis, Missouri US of A! Come see us on the next Church tour if you dare!

  48. avatar
    Jasperina | 18 September 2009 at 2:55 am #

    I'm still thinking about all the things she never said. Get out of bed let's pull on a shoe…

    We are always the same age inside…Gertrude Stein.

  49. avatar
    Johnsense | 18 September 2009 at 6:45 am #

    I can’t untangle you’re anything…
    I can’t remind you, of who you are
    I don’t remember who you used to be…
    My memoire of you is that, what you offer lovingly in the blog, etc..

    I walked a hundred thousand miles in my shoes,
    an wound up back at me…
    I’m worried about my ill ol Dad 76 now
    just laying in bed… smoking ciggs
    my nerves are shaken…
    the ol lion doesn’t want to see the doc
    the old lion remembers when he was king…
    I bring the ol lion pancakes an grapes for breakfast…
    are you okay?
    I loom like a ghost
    an the family has dissolved…
    I gaze at the loom
    its weave now seems wove of tears
    the tree of memories and happy days
    just fallen years… like autumn leaves
    who’s left too remember
    an I can’t forget…

    I lay this poetic thought down here
    not to compete with your passion or style…
    Or should I channel Emily Dickinson… again…
    Um should I call Kerouac back, an ask him if we borrowed his rhyme, an if he would mind…

    Your not the only one with a constant stream of creativity flowing….

    Yet you are the guy that wrote so many songs I like…

    An your as good as any of the best…

    And I’ll try to get better.

    J.

  50. avatar
    Sharon Love | 18 September 2009 at 7:43 am #

    The golden rule at University is that you must never try to prevent a fellow student from speaking their mind.

    So when people tell SK to stop expressing his ideas it just proves their ignorance.

    I ignore or block trolls or flamers on the web because they seem to derive satisfaction from getting highly emotional reactions from other users.

  51. avatar
    lily was here | 18 September 2009 at 8:57 am #

    You tell'em sk!

    xoxo

    ps that paintings Chrissy? yes I can see it now, I was thinking it might've been Johnette.

  52. avatar
    enthused | 18 September 2009 at 12:02 pm #

    Kilbey in Dark Cabaret – I want it!
    Imagine a lounge singer in Naked Lunch…that's you, that is!
    You could even beat Robert Calvert's futurist musical, Krankshaft Kabaret, or Richard Strange's flawed attempts at same.
    Go for it, Killer.

  53. avatar
    Jasperina | 18 September 2009 at 2:01 pm #

    …such tender loveliness,

    you ( i ) want to know (you) me…

    …goddess this (my) insult

    how telling…

    …forgive us ( i )

    our impositions (me)…

    …yet even still

    you ( i ) somewhat delighted…

    …i (you) always living near

    light beauty…

    …goodness could

    would goodness could…

    …would past her lips…

    …she (i, you, me) always

    living near light…

    …and beauty

    Dr faustus…

    …light the

    lights…

    …( i ) not

    you…

    …(you)

    not i…

  54. avatar
    bc | 18 September 2009 at 6:23 pm #

    the world is fortunate that you listen to yourself sk. your writing is a gift as your art and music.

    Keep having a laugh!!

  55. avatar
    EDD | 18 September 2009 at 6:32 pm #

    Must be hard having to explain yerself on a blog where 90% of the readers are on your side. Still,it has to be told sometimes. The anon probably has to do the same thing in their life. You are a person like us. So are they. Somebody probably told them once to give up…only difference is, they did.

  56. avatar
    PBK | 20 September 2009 at 12:11 am #

    PBK cutup/remix of My Creative Hubris by Steve Kilbey

    pretty, these inconveniences…
    (eight things)

    i am in clouds,
    she's pontificating
    stranded with passion

    a creative coming
    and you
    villains themselves
    and what love must start

    otherwise now to slowly pretend
    create for all a will…
    any
    many
    i can
    (cant) for you
    i try to write against this
    pretending always,
    hence my respite

    now reckon humility my obstacle
    like, shape of things beginning
    maybe a map of given things
    that you to me suffer
    and see in visions

    all friends are music,
    things you love.
    but you-
    you earned written things
    where i bound my want
    exploring the wound
    my urging hours
    the time to complete these words
    the unbidden person in unnamed oldness
    compose(s) this

    with that in mind he leave(s) me
    your songs

    you write it all
    i again stop
    continue it wrong
    then lose the idea
    songwriter wielding with him his art
    years spent
    raw ideas
    get to whats shown
    to what imagines
    you of any should know
    even the bored old master listens

    singing is home to some tosses
    both eccentric but simple
    the energy you earned however
    listens to shadow words
    language noir

    this burning world

    i up and crossed jesus
    and suffered these strangers
    i see in visions
    nature
    with frontline sweet
    this voice creates life
    no art mockery
    never more things to improve this
    and given tiredness
    the fountain got a chance part

    good will
    good laugh

    by
    day
    slowly
    age

    inject

    burn

    create songs

    offerings

    i start familiar
    crossed in many soon
    some experience old ideas
    i paint some of my own
    surely unbidden luck
    all life to a master's years
    at 55

    beyond bandied love
    beyond fuckin' regret
    seeing people in love

    it's the beginning
    before i write

    you're free
    easy n unnamed
    push down you say
    and i listen
    because there's coming a zeigeist
    and cowards can fly in and rest
    as i slowly pace
    inject mystery into myself

    love has turned me like a church
    my church is the sound
    of deafness

  57. avatar
    DK | 22 September 2009 at 7:03 pm #

    SK, your greatest pic ever, at least on this blog.

  58. avatar
    kyle farley | 22 September 2009 at 8:46 pm #

    It's never enough….. until my heart stops beating!

  59. avatar
    m.p.k | 24 September 2009 at 11:05 pm #

    I like this entry SK. I only hope I can say something similar about my life when I am your age. That I like what I do and do what I like. If I had it to do over again I would take bigger chances. I feel I better make a change soon if I'm going to make it at all(36 years old).

  60. avatar
    starspringsf | 27 September 2009 at 10:31 am #

    Interesting to read this blog entry, having just had a showing of my drawings. Its always interesting to see people grapple with the 'why' that artists just intrinsically get. Why did I have to make a painting and why is it THAT kind of painting, painted THAT way? Artist don't ask about it, they do it! And the ones that have their head down, ignoring the critics/naysayers are generally doing something interesting…and a healthy ego doesn't hurt.

    But so often its OTHER people who imbue the work we do with meaning by being the other side of the process-having someone ELSE experience the thing you've created. Otherwise its just songs filling up magnetic tape or digital files and stacks of paper with crushed pigment scratched all over them.

    And damn, I wish I could do art all the time-creating things on so many levels means you are always 'on'. something is moving, changing or happening. I'll probably have that desire to express creativity in some way until they throw dirt on my face. Its certainly my 'real' job.


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