posted on October 19, 2012 at 12:53 pm

hemming away at sea

how i long for my indian garden

i live within the temple

i come out at dusk as it begins to grow cooler

i come out at dusk

i hear the birds and the lowing of the cattle

a flute and tamboura

i roll out my mat and stretch out downwards

my feet grip this earth

my hands reach out ahead

my head hangs between my shoulders

and i stretch against myself

the way a dog or cat stretches

in my indian garden there is a light warm rain

i smell sandalwood incense

i turn my attention towards god

but my mind races and races

no quieten down !…. i say

but my mind is hither is thither restless and stubborn

i perceive a conflict between my heart and my mind

my heart asks me

is not a chance meeting with god not enough for mind to still itself ?

and then mind says

if god will appear….. then i will become quiet…..

nevertheless i continue with my yoga

i wonder who i is who is continuing

a voice says

that is your eternal soul 

i stand up and look out

the jungle all around

i am a wandering monk, i am an itinerant madman

but i live here now in this temple to some ancient shiva

and my indian garden full of statues

every god blows my mind and heart

vishnu the gorgeous one the preserver

ganesha the kindest merriest god

jesus the man of sorrows and the son of man

krsna god of love and beauty

radha his consort radiant and serene

buddha avatar of vishnu, the blessed one

odin the allfather who gave his eye for knowledge

ishtar fertlility goddess and mistress of stars

known as isis easter she comes as dream

loki king of tricks father of monsters

jove jehovah masculine and huge, a jealous flame

his will be done

brahma who looks past present future

poseidon from the waves frowning and angry

i kneel to every god i kneel to one

i kneel with my face against my mat and i breathe

when i stand up the loveliness of it all strikes me

gratitude for all this

for it did not have to be so

i dont know

i feel god in and around me

then suddenly gone

when i least expect it i am talking to myself

my indian garden throbs with vegetal life

i see god in every little weed and plant

in the stones and dust in the atoms and emptiness

god is there immanent

i focus

he is gone

i am elated i am crushed

i stand in garudasana

my single foot on the ground finds balance

i sway and i move

i concentrate on my body in its posture

i will yoke my self to whatevers out there

the universe or god or both or some other force

god approaching is a warm feeling

warmer than the warmest most delicious day in the sun

when you were a child you felt warm and safe

my indian garden holds me in that way

my temple room is cool and simple

i live in the cell of an ascetic

still the mind races and races

still the heart yearns for women or chocolate or power or something

god is reluctant

his visits are fleeting

oh krsna my dearest friend oh come to me now

oh krsna i call your name in the emptiness of jungle

down by black lakes where white egret soars

oh jesus come to me at midnight

oh jesus i am sitting on my mat in lotus

i strive towards you too hard and then you cannot come

other voices in my head drowning out my prayers

oh mother kali then take me in your arms

the end of a world is coming

and the beginning of all others

oh god the hint of you is more dreamy than a gallon of opium

in my indian garden the weeds flower

the night daze amaze me

you drain devotion

i spend lives chasing you

tell me why do you have to be so elusive?

i rebuke you all for leaving me dangling

feeding me tiny morsels you keep my hopes alive

oh god if i ever catch up with you

if i ever get my hands around your cross

if i ever walk with you again by those glorious pools

i always forget my questions when i do see you

whichever shape you appear in

oh i never approach the real big you

but you come in one of your forms

they all are good for me

i know who it is behind all of this

sometimes my private prayers are answered

god oh you have been so good to me

you are that mysterious event that no one can name

you put it in motion you maintain it in motion

oh such poetry oh such geometry oh such continuity

oh god how you combine the obvious with the mysterious

every move you make

your tiniest leaf

well i sit in my indian garden looking at your tiniest leaf

the symmetry of its veins the graduating colours

if this were indeed your only work

why i could stare at it forever

today i saw a far-off whale

its huge white plume erupting from a churning ocean

of course i thought of jonah

i chase you

he ran from you

no one can find you if you dont want to be found

none may hide from you if you beckon to them somehow

in my indian garden i repeat my mantra

my mantra concerns five rings of existence

the fifth part of the mantra is gods name

slowly my heart steadies and quietens

surely my mind settles down eventually

i sit there in my indian garden

jungle city garden ocean

ive had everything

ive lost everything

now there is only god

villages lakes rivers hills

birds children pilgrims kings

priests singers soldiers doctors

wives daughters sisters girls

in my indian garden i sit and wait

and my impatience seems to wane

even tho the waiting never ends

the anticipation of gods arrival is nevertheless delectable






22 Responses to “my indian garden”

  1. avatar
    Chris | 19 October 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    Brilliant…fragrant with myrrh, sandalwood and aloes…you speak with your usual eloquence that arises from head, heart and soul of the still point of contemplation of ‘the now’ and ‘the not yet’…that moment of being in perfect balance, neither leaning backward nor forward but in a delicate balance; totally in the moment as well as in the past revelations of the godhead, and utterly aware of the promised future realities. This is the timelessnes the mystics and gurus speak of, when one is deeply in touch with the divine realm and divine Spirit…you are there sk!….Rejoice!

  2. avatar
    Kohl Ette | 19 October 2012 at 4:58 pm #

    I read. Breathing breeds serene. The city recedes. So does me, expanding to we. Sight dilates to night but it is not dark, lit from within. Once I slid down to earth but didn’t spin. The world did and just spun as it does and we didn’t get dizzy. Lizards slithered no ward and blinked slowly knowingly.

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 19 October 2012 at 5:37 pm #

      colette. i’m almost finished your painting….
      what colour are yer eyes?
      any suggestions for background?

      • avatar
        Kohl Ette | 19 October 2012 at 6:18 pm #

        They’re blue according to my passport but actually blue around the outside and yellow in the middle so they often look green imo. Not that I can see them. Just that I was always told they were blue but whenever I looked in the mirror they seemed green. So one day I realised about the yellow bit (around the pupil). Um don’t know about background – which pic did you choose? then I can give you more idea but I deliberately chose simple or empty background for a bit of minimalism… but if you want to choose any backgrounds from any of my fb pics, go ahead. You’re the artist with the vision. Send me an email or something if you need to talk more and thanks. Ah, Friday. Don’t work too hard. 🙂

        • avatar
          thetimebeing | 19 October 2012 at 8:13 pm #

          got it!

          • avatar
            Kohl Ette | 19 October 2012 at 8:40 pm #

            the background (or not) ? 🙂

      • avatar
        Ade | 20 October 2012 at 6:40 pm #

        An indian garden?

  3. avatar
    DavidP | 19 October 2012 at 5:11 pm #

    lovely to spend time reading of your time in this garden sk
    simultaneous inner and outer awareness is the still point to hear the heart
    escape the pendulum swing of thoughts and emotions with awareness/mindfulness
    Jesus riding donkey into holy city symbolises dominion of spirit over the mind
    the spiritual neutral force, first born of creation, symbolised by Jesus/Krsna
    symbolised by fire, it destroys and transforms, death of ego = birth of spirit
    all opposites reconciled at the source of it all, make it your journey
    a call to action all the forms of god seek to whisper into all human hearts…
    “bake your clay into an amphora for the hidden lord”

  4. avatar
    Roger That | 19 October 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    Hey Killa, tell us some stories about ‘Sometime Anywhere” and what you were up to then. This album doesn’t get discussed. While you are at it, maybe tell us some stories about your backstage meetings with fans / fanboys. Would be cool to get some insights.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 October 2012 at 6:54 pm #

    If you haven’t been there Steve, you HAVE to go! India’s a real trip!

  6. avatar
    Cath | 19 October 2012 at 7:04 pm #

    Paint your Indian guardian full of gods flames(avatars), like a wall of reflections in the hall of mirrors:)If only it were as easy to paint the concepts of meditative experience or dream, sometimes it is hard to know where to begin,,,,,always it is how on earth do I do that? I see this as a very large work if you painted it:)
    Steve have you done a pilgrimage to India this life?

  7. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 19 October 2012 at 7:17 pm #

    Purely visual…simply fascinating !!!

    Possibly your best entry in years !!!

    Overwhelmed !!!

    Much love onto you big brother !!!

    …and a safe and lovely weekend for all !!!


  8. avatar
    vickileew | 19 October 2012 at 9:36 pm #

    Lovely and, for me tonight I read as particularly heart felt having just today got home from 2 weeks in the arid region / corner country – my particular form of peace and meditation. First time doing this alone was at times a bit scarey, exhilarating, happily peaceful and terribly lonely – sometimes all at once.
    “ive had everything
    ive lost everything”
    Not sure where I am going with this, just that perhaps we all have our way of searching and your writing today made me think about mine.
    Dingoes howling in the desert before dawn…

  9. avatar
    Tanya | 19 October 2012 at 11:07 pm #

    Descriptively beautiful as always found in your writings. Your search for God maybe be elusive but your quest for him is tenacious. Logical dichotomy it is.

  10. avatar
    Stewart | 19 October 2012 at 11:19 pm #

    This is a beautiful and inspiring psalm. Thanks for sharing it. It brings back memories of times of quiet reflection in a garden in India being interrupted (amusingly) by monkeys jumping around in the trees overhead.

  11. avatar
    narelle | 20 October 2012 at 12:30 am #

    once upon a time I had a lovely garden
    the cattle decided to feast and trample it to death
    the dog…Duke…seen basking in the sun as I drive into the property, catches the sound of my car approaching and jumps up dutifully, then, starts barking at the cows…oh what a hero he was
    the cows had to agree, I HAD a lovely garden!!

  12. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 20 October 2012 at 12:49 am #

    God bestowed Steve Kilbey with many astounding talents including singing, bass playing, painting, writing, poetry, blogging and the moral illumination to eschew flesh-foods.

  13. avatar
    sharon daniel | 20 October 2012 at 8:38 am #

    A beautiful & calming visually inspiring piece. Off into my own garden now, a place of happiness, peace & reflection.

  14. avatar
    Kodakghost | 20 October 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    I know you’re not fussed about nostalgia, but I’d like to see scans of some old SK photos once in a while and maybe a few lines about what you remember when looking at them?

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 October 2012 at 11:58 pm #

    it’s a big promise but kept forever in you as in the sky above and all that it brings but you must look up to conect with the wonder (He says) of these fragrant gardens to believe you are here. (and you are and always will be.)

  16. avatar
    Tombo | 21 October 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    The gate weights
    Close becomes close
    Beached winter buoys
    God Only Knows

  17. avatar
    linjo | 25 October 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    Then my mind realises that there is no god, for I am the god, master of my own destiny and we are organic beings who will go back to earth!.
    Anyway, apart from that, I am obsessed with India ever since I read M.M Kayes ‘Shadow of the Moon’ My brother has just given me Andrew Ward’s ‘Our Bodies are Scattered’. Probably too much for my ADD mind to process, but I am sure, gives the essence of India x

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