posted on November 6, 2006 at 7:24 pm

its been my pleasure
or otherwise
to know some real characters
the 1st drummer in the chrunch
for example
the guy who called himself nick ward
that wasnt his real name
you see
this character had been one of the bullies
at bully high
his real name was nigel murray
and paradoxically
in one of lifes strange little twists
nick ward was the name of a slightly retarded kid
(i guess these days youd have some euphemism for that)
he had a strange lurching walk
and a huge thick pair of spectacles behind which
his eyes seemed to swim, impossibly large
i remember nigel murray ALWAYS teasing n hassling nick ward
making his already miserable life more miserable
i had a fight with nigel murray
my first day of school in canberra, in 1965
in those days i used to get in a few fights
before the teenage days when people started
knocking each others teeth out n noses in
i couldnt abide the thought of my pretty face goin’ to hell
on the end of some 15 year old dumb fist
but before that
i roughed n tumbled
nigel murray was a handsome boy
but you could tell at once he was hell bent on mischief
of course he won the fight
as all 10 year old fights seemed to end in those days
him pinning my shoulders down with his knees
me agreeing to him and the onlookers that he’d beaten me
quite civilised, i guess
before the black eye blood gushers of high school
anyway murray was in the year above me
it was such a pleasure to turn up for high school
2 years later n find murray on the steps
now notching up his terrorism a little
sneering laughing n threatening all the new kids
wherever playground misery could be found
there was little nigel
not usually the main bully
more like one of the taunting mockers
who come in their wake
as jackals attend lions perhaps
nick ward was a constant figure of amusement
to nige n his pals
and it seemed to me
niges handsome face was beginning to contort
the sneers n grimaces becoming permanent
you see i KNEW i had some connexion with this cat
and lemme tell ya now
this guy is driven to be petty nasty n cruel
i heard he blew up animals with fireworks
i saw him turn up to football pratice once
with a vacuum cleaner tube
beaten closed one end n bent down like a handle
he could hold on to it there
then hed drop a lighted “penny ” or 2penny banger” in
and a marble
it was like a primitive bazooka
or once i kicked him my new football
and he just walked away with it….forever
he was a gleeful bully thats fer sure
as he got older n older
i guess his tricks got nastier n grosser
he thankfully dropped outta skool
and youd occaisionally hear rumours
that he’d done this n that…
years later when i was doing the markets in sydney
peter k turned up with a guy who was playing drums
in a power pop band they were in called limazine
unable to muster much of an advertizing budget
limazine had stencilled their name in every available
bit of pavement in paddington
even over the top of dog turds
the limazine moniker was proudly emblazoned
that same afternoon
peter walks by my stall
says hello
and theres this familiar looking guy
peter tells me hes called nick ward now
fuck me gently!
i cant believe hes had the sheer cheek
to name himself after a man he hounded for years
what a gall!
im stupid
cos i
trying to forget all nigels multiple sins
hoping a leopard COULD change its spots
i suggest he could try out
in this band me n pete were trying to launch
to tell ya the truth
pete was one of the only guys to stand up to
and call niges bluff
(from here on in i’m gonna call him nick, ok?)
and he wasnt too affected by his savage mood swings
i think poor old nick might actually have needed something
like lithium or something(strychnine?)
the shame was there was a nice guy in there
but he made my life n then martys hell
right from the word go
oh he could play everything better
as you did a take
you could see him in the control room
exploding in anger n ridicule at yer rotten playing
to further complicate things he was left handed
so hed pull a guitar off you to show you how it SHOULD be done
only to realise he couldnt play it cos it was upside down
he was frustrated 100 percent of the thyme
he made me dread rehearsals
hed boss us round and throw things about
hed sink into dark silent sulks and you didnt dare talk
he hated my fucking songs and my stupid fucking lyrics
he hated our band
he hated our label
he was the expert
he was the the sound of the band
he didnt think i had what it took
and tried to organise a coup with a tour manager
ha! ha!
drummer n tour manager seize the chrunch
and do what with it exactly…?
he even had a couple of his own yes men
that hung around and said
(you guessed it!)
to him
oh so many anecdotes
i mean hes a legendary figure in the church camp
not many days go past before someone mentions him
or one of his aphorisms done in that voice of his
nk said one yesterday
not even knowing what it was
just that shed heard mwp or me saying it
“more for me”
nick would say if he offered ya something
and you declined
other sayings were
“cluey clem”
thats if you were foolish
“my heart bleeds” nicks declaration of sympathy
“live and learn, live AND learn”
when someone disappointed him
in fact he had a charming tatoo
of a executioner raising a bloodied axe n asking
nick was unpredictable with pot too
he could become real nice for ten minutes
or he could become a paranoid sociopath
one night before a gig
he smoked some pot with me n mwp n pete
he then had a “bad” night….
(werent most of em, nick?)
after his “bad” night onstage
he made me swear i would never
even if he asked for it…
never would i give him pot before a show
he threatened me and made me promise
the next night
i can still fucking see it
im standing outside this club smokin’
well away from you know who
when he finds me
gimme a smoke kilbey
says nick nicely
but ..but..nick…i stutter
you you said….
gimme a smoke i said says nick
but you said…
i said gimme a fucking smoke
ok ok
i do it
nick has another “bad” night
(he was after all a hopeless drummer)
he storms up to me afterwards
did i fuckin’ tell you to never gimme pot before i play????!!!!!
here we go again..
needless to say
i could write a book of anecdotes about this strange character
thats him doing those high vocals on ungrated momento
which is probably another reason i hate that song
we never got around to playing nicks songs
the lament of the hairy bolt
or cold steel
whatta shame…!
i bet they’d be standards by now
the other really funny thing i remember
is that nick was a real veteran road warrior
you see limazine had been to melbourne once for a few gigs
and nick knew all the ropes
you n piper ‘ll never fuckin’ make it on tour, you pansies
and he sneered n rolled up another cigarette
he constantly doubted my abilities to handle touring
and he told me so
in his colourful vernacular
youre a fucking girl
yet when we got to melbourne
it was nick who suffered an anxiety attack
and locked himself in his room
and had to be gently coaxed out
the band pleading with him to come n play
while he monosyllabically refused
from behind a locked door
jesus what a fuckin’ set-to….!
shortly afterwards
nick transgressed our golden rule
when he physically attacked mwp at a gig
it had only been a matter of time
en tidsfraga, they say in sweden
and what a fucking relief
when ploogy joined the band
and we could enjoy ourselves
without nicks constant malevolent n pathetic bullshit
and ya know what
now i know a little bit about drumming
and ive played with a few good ones
i listen back to that 1st album
wherein he made my life a misery
during the making of
telling me i couldnt sing
i couldnt write
i couldnt play bass
i shouldnt play the piano or vocoder
and now when i listen to it
and maybe while i hate that 1st record
its the drums
theyre hopeless!
he was bullying us so we’d never notice
how godawful n random his drumming was
vale nigey the bully
my heart fuckin’ bleeds!

80 Responses to “my mem-wahs…..warding off nigel”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 9:10 pm #

    i can feel a lawsuit coming on – nick

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 9:13 pm #

    that was very interesting mr kilbey – thanks


  3. avatar
    fergal | 6 November 2006 at 10:10 pm #

    nice one sk.
    i work with a coupla insecure fu@#wits like that who are constanly criticising others, out of insecurity. sometimes it’s hard to get past, but ultimately we gotta see thru it

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 10:21 pm #


    The guy sounds like a prick, assuming the name of someone he’s bullied -that is the ultimate insult – i feel sorry for the real NW.


  5. avatar
    youamwho | 6 November 2006 at 10:38 pm #



  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 10:41 pm #

    I miss Richard P and his weird drumming style (and his blonde locks!), but Tim P rules the drumkit hands down…..that’s for sure!!

    Love always,

  7. avatar
    The Carrier of Fruit | 6 November 2006 at 10:43 pm #

    Man I knew it, the drums on s & h were pretty average at best[listen to blurred c – drumming warm n sweet mmmm]. Shame because the songs on s & h are brill.

    Re record the whole album I say.

  8. avatar
    I'm anonymous because I can be... | 6 November 2006 at 10:51 pm #

    Love reading these stories ’bout the olden days…..I always wondered about Nick.The only thing I ever read about him is that he broke MWP jaw???Sounded so unlikely for a member of the Church.

  9. avatar
    mattdavison | 6 November 2006 at 10:52 pm #

    Just between you and me.. Thats ok let it go. You have been thought hell and have worked you’re way to a drummer who just might be one of the best in the world.(I have never seen a session like I did at the National TP is a god. and he’s a good old kiwi.
    Bullies never change (rarely. But I empathize, I was beaten bashed and bullied… But I have the Crurnh.. and art, and soul… Whatta they have..

    Matt D (Bac in NZ)

  10. avatar
    mattdavison | 6 November 2006 at 10:54 pm #

    my keyboard is bollocks.. (through) line 3. above


  11. avatar
    Little Secret | 6 November 2006 at 11:02 pm #

    Must be open season on NW. Coincidently, last Sunday a couple of friends were reminiscing about a bizarre jam session with Nick about twenty years back. Initially, I thought they were exaggerating – but I don’t now.

  12. avatar
    nickfiction | 6 November 2006 at 11:05 pm #

    My my…. rolling stone has a feature on celebrity bloggers….. dare they not mention SK? pathetic, i ‘ll cancel my description i never had…. NF

  13. avatar
    thorsten wilhelm | 6 November 2006 at 11:08 pm #

    Maybe this bully was the same guy pissin in your garbage cans . Does he have a german accent ?

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 11:11 pm #

    The Lament of the Hairy Bolt : A Musical by S.Kilbey, Lyrics by Bunnings, Orchestral Arrangements by Mitre 10.

    “Oh Hairy Bolt…
    Where art thou?
    Sucking on a Dinner Ale,
    Night ‘b night,
    My lost days as a rock star,
    Was it me? Brutus, was it me?
    Or was it Harold Holt?”

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 11:13 pm #

    It has long been part of Church mythology that ‘NW’ was sacked after a fight with Marty. Amazingly, it is actually true…

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 11:45 pm #

    Oh Steven, you’re funny, tee hee.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2006 at 11:47 pm #

    guess i’ll have to relisten to that first album…sheds an interesting light on it.

    ed in florida

  18. avatar
    veleska1970 | 6 November 2006 at 11:47 pm #

    i’d always wondered if what i heard was true about the….”assault”. so now you’ve confirmed it. one never knows if something is true unless it is heard straight from the horse’s mouth.

    i’ve never known a bully who didn’t grow up to be a violent control freak. these people are just wired wrong, i guess.

  19. avatar
    Daberhasher | 7 November 2006 at 12:36 am #

    great tale…
    we have an assholis expertis in my workplace, and come to think of it, he’s a drummer too! a commandeering dullard… alas… making plans for nigel…


  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 12:46 am #

    the bully’s target is most often their object of affection or admiration

  21. avatar
    indigoruby | 7 November 2006 at 1:36 am #

    Bullies are that way because they have been bullied themselves, often by their family…he must have had a lot of torture in his life to have been such an asshole.

    I’m amazed that you guys lasted with Nick as long as you did considering you must have been terrified all the time!!
    So when you kicked Nick out, were you all scared of retribution? And was there any?? And have you heard anything of him since?

    And speaking of drummers, a lot of people must be wondering why Richard left…


  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 1:37 am #

    Always wanted to know more about that.
    A lot of drummers are aggro tho.
    Our drummer punched me out in the van on the way to a gig, there was no warning , just whammo.
    Once we were playin at a school in NZ & there was literally a 20 foot drop off the rear of the stage, the drummer was close to the back & didnt realise that his kit & chair were moving ever so slightly rearwards with every song until half through the gig when the drums stopped & he just dissapeared….. broke his arm ….karma.

    I think those little high backing vocals on Unguarded Moment helped make that song what it was & ironically you MAY not have been where u are today if it wasnt for Nigel.

    Dutch Pierre

  23. avatar
    freddy mercurial | 7 November 2006 at 2:15 am #


    that’s me fave kilblog yet! thanks for the funny insights into those early days. what a handful n-ward was! i would have been exhausted at his antics. i wonder where he is now-a-days… eh, doesn’t matter i s’pose.

    f merc

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 2:23 am #

    An excerpt from a (mostly credible and unique) website about musicians from Canberra…

    Master of the drums, Master of the bass guitar, Master of the rhythm guitar, and not a bad vocalist to boot.

    Also plays a mean game of golf.

    Played on The Church’s first and best album.

    Wonderful and inventive drummer.(end quote)

    He also was a total [insert expletive here please Steve?]

    Now look! “first and best album” are you fucking out of your mind! What about Priest=Aura or Starfish or Heyday or After Everything… C’mon. How does Fighter Pilot Korean War stack up against Night Friends or Antenna (sorry Steve if you’re secretly exceptionally proud of the afore mentioned song on said first & best album)? Different Band, No Contest perhaps. Almost With You, Destination, Mistress – these songs were always gonna get written, from the moment of creation, they are intrinsically magnificent, lucky all of us for hearing them. Unguarded Moment I first heard on 1981 Rocks on, I thought the band looked good in their photo (I was 12 OK) and the song was alright except it reminded me of Sweet Caroline (Did that happen to anyone else too?)

    ‘en tidsfraga’ cue lads, time for ejection of NW, now only the glorious future remains, well done…

  25. avatar
    oldchurchfan | 7 November 2006 at 3:09 am #

    You referred to ‘vale.’ Do I take that as he has passed away or is that metaphorically speaking.

  26. avatar
    Melquiades | 7 November 2006 at 3:13 am #

    This is funny. I had heard he bopped MWP on the nose, but all these great and sorry little details had me rolling.

    Ah, the trials and tribulations of band members. I don’t think you’d say it’s always a happy family now, but you guys make it work. And do you ever.

  27. avatar
    steve kilbey | 7 November 2006 at 3:16 am #


  28. avatar
    mike a | 7 November 2006 at 3:25 am #

    Great story sk!!! I always love your stories about the past!!

  29. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 7 November 2006 at 3:26 am #

    now look what we have done metaphorically speaking…
    Ne iko

  30. avatar
    JJ | 7 November 2006 at 4:04 am #

    I’m loving these anecdotal reminiscings, the list of people in “we welcome you”…..”and Nick Ward (after Madame Blavatsky?)” And his real name was Nigel Murray – that’s funny. I liked Ploogy, how did he come to join, or will I have to wait for the Lurie book to find out? Ploogy cut quite the figure on the Starfish tour, with his long blonde mane blowing with the fan. Where is Ploogy now?

    I had a stand-down with a bully type in high school once, who wore a leather jacket to school and had asymmetrically long bangs that he flipped up threateningly. He called me Doris, ’cause I had long hair, and a girl by that name liked me. I was bluffing, but he bought it – and he moved on to other targets.

    “The Starfish was Ploog”


  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 4:09 am #

    You reffered to vale is that mephistopheles speaking?

    Maybe Moss Vale or Mona Vale

    and the last line

    ‘my heart F’n BLEEDS!’

    oooh, phwar, ouch, eeesh.

  32. avatar
    the dean | 7 November 2006 at 4:16 am #

    I always wondered who that guy was. He appears quite the opposite of our lovely church.

  33. avatar
    scott | 7 November 2006 at 4:18 am #

    rainy n windy tonite in east hill…..sideways rain

    today i watched prez bush – aka, the worlds number one bully – roll thru pensacola florida on his way to a charlie crist reach around pony show at our local venue. here’s this large black motorcade rollin along on a cloudy grey day n all i could imagine was that i wuza watchin some bizzare n freakish funeral procession. for chrissakes! i’m still bothered by that vision

  34. avatar
    don joe | 7 November 2006 at 5:09 am #

    ‘my heart bleeds for u nick’….live n learn hey pal!!

    HAHAHA…well, out of the bad the good shall flourish.

    Always wondered about dear Nige, sad he should be so negative, look where it got u guys!
    Guess he’ll have a place in Church folk lore. Ahmen

    don joe

  35. avatar
    ambnt1 | 7 November 2006 at 6:06 am #


    Nick Ward=The Anti-Ploog?

    –sirhc (du Soleil)

    n.p. Waterboys, “Fisherman’s Blues” (they too wanted to be U2)

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 6:09 am #

    wow…not quite I pictured all these years…and whats with someone else co-writing unguarded moment?? I saw the credits the other day and who the hell is Maceo Parker??? Now, THAT sounds like an unlikely acronym…

  37. avatar
    captainmission | 7 November 2006 at 6:10 am #

    ha what a remarkable story, the truth much stranger than fiction. well the blessing is the church have the best drummer on planet earth now, that’s for sure 🙂

  38. avatar
    rehan | 7 November 2006 at 6:43 am #

    Well..that was a fascinating read. Guess Nick just didn’t have the knack!

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 6:49 am #

    Thank the heavens fer the spaceman!
    i tells ya you only hadDTA wait adecade ina half!


  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 6:50 am #

    Oh Yeah – I’ll pay that one!!

  41. avatar
    metal_petal | 7 November 2006 at 7:38 am #

    Made my day! Thanks for a great yarn.

  42. avatar
    galamor the wizard | 7 November 2006 at 8:31 am #

    Can’t wait for the book…will it be out before Xmas???? I always wondered about Nick Ward. Like a couple of others, I will be intrigued to find out the inside story on the Ploog dismissal…drugs, drugs, drugs???
    I saw him drumming for the Well in the Gong and he could barely stand, playing drums with one hand whilst holding his head with the other AND smoking (hands free) this enormous Young Ones sized reefer that he’d scored from the mixer in the crowd after the second song!!!

  43. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 7 November 2006 at 8:34 am #

    im stupid
    cos i
    trying to forget all nigels multiple sins
    hoping a leopard COULD change its spots
    i suggest he could try out”

    Why do we invite certain people into our lives when we KNOW intuitively they will just bring misery & pain?

    I was in a bad step-family situation, and for years, I never took responsibility for remaining involved.

    Then one day I woke up and realised I didn’t HAVE to stay involved…but I was CHOOSING to stay (to please someone else).

    Once I realised it was not my responsibility to change or appease others, and that the staying was of my own choosing….I walked away, never to return.

    I forgave the person, but decided never to tolerate their abusive behaviour again.

    Their behaviour was not my fault or responsibility…but the choice to stay or leave was mine alone.

    These days, I choose to keep well clear of leopards.

    I prefer to associate with likeminded labradors.

  44. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 7 November 2006 at 9:05 am #

    thanks for that, Steve
    I really enjoyed it
    Very interesting to read
    about the stories of those days
    and thanks
    it gave me a topical direction
    to explore in my own blog
    old band members
    when my main band started
    jim (drums) and I were 19
    jason (bass) was 26
    and jason left quite an impression
    on two impressionable teenagers!
    Peace Man.
    Love, TP

  45. avatar
    eek | 7 November 2006 at 9:24 am #

    i think poor old nick might actually have needed something
    like lithium or something(strychnine?)

    There is an old band photo (I think in the rare images section of the official site) where you certainly look as if you’d like to have slipped him some of that strychnine. The look on your face in that photo is absolutely priceless — and now we know why.

    And props to Marty for getting punched so you could get rid of the jerk!

    Anon at 5:09 — The co-writer of TUM was Michele Parker. I think she was SK’s girlfriend at the time.

    Maceo Parker is someone else entirely. He’s apparently a funk & jazz saxophone player)

  46. avatar
    Cameras 4 Eyes | 7 November 2006 at 11:04 am #

    always a person behind the curtain

  47. avatar
    Glen Sherman | 7 November 2006 at 11:09 am #

    Thought of Steven K today. Looked at my paintings – “Magi” and “Cornucopia” and touched them. Felt the same way I did when I stood before Bouguereau’s “Return of Spring” (which is the loveliest painting I have ever seen). Listened to SA on the way to work. I marveled again at the power and depth of emotion that is “Angelica”. Anger, lust, envy, jealousy, rage, passion, addiction, withdrawal, hate, fear, paranoia…all in one “Angelica”. I wonder why so many Church fans (so they claim) dislike this song? It is a marvelous, wonderful work of heart. It is as powerful as “Return of Spring”.

    And, today, I find this place to read and feel the words of a man so greatly admired is he by me.

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 12:28 pm #

    Tim Powles is a great drummer but i reckon Jay Dee Daugherty was the best drummer the band has had. He is/was technically superb. The drumming on Priest = Aura is incredible, as were the live shows at that time. From the outside looking in though Tim brings a lot more to the band than just drumming.

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 12:44 pm #

    THIS is why we need a biography full of unedited SK and we DON’T need one concocted by some other fucker that wasn’t there, doesn’t know, and who makes attempts to present it all as a high school essay complete with quaint attempts to reconstruct ‘dialogue’.
    Fuck that – just give Steve a topic and let him go to it!
    THIS is what we want!

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 1:17 pm #

    Church drummers, eh?
    Ward? Average. Blah.
    Ploog? Great, even if he did speed up! Shame he mouthed off about the reason GAF had to be recorded in LA, shame he fucked up so badly, enjoy the gardening, Richie.
    Powles? Genius! Genuinely, some of the most inventive and distinctive fuckin drumming I’ve heard.
    But Tim, mate, ya can’t mix for shit! AENT and FY had the worst fuckin drum sound I’ve heard in years. And yes, it does matter! Tim, just capture the sound of a drum kit in a room and there y’go.
    It ain’t that hard, mate: distance mike it for the ambient room sound, stick a couple of mikes halfway between the distance mikes and the kit and then balance the two in the mix. Piece of piss.
    There’s some brilliant stuff on AENT and FY, but you’ve got to really struggle to actually hear it.
    Thank fuck Steve kicked Tim off the mixing desk for ULTC, I sez. Phew.

  51. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 1:28 pm #

    Oh, and JD?
    Didn’t he refuse to actually join the band?
    So can he actually be regarded as a ‘Church’ drummer?
    If he can, then ok, yeah, he’s competent enough. But he’d got none of Ploog’s, erm, wayward fire and none of Powles’ imagination and distinction.
    And I meant there’s brilliant DRUMMING on AENT and FY that y’have to struggle to actually hear.

  52. avatar
    restaurant mark | 7 November 2006 at 2:07 pm #

    good stuff…too bad nick couldn’t just explode like a spinal tap drummer or something. if you play in bands long enough you can’t help but come across some interesting characters/crazy assholes! glad tim’s the drummer now aren’t you? i am.
    take care man.

  53. avatar
    gavgams | 7 November 2006 at 2:35 pm #

    We here at the Kilbey Commune (Snake Valley) been “lost” for a while, but we reckon AENT has a lovely softer mix and drum sound which suits the material pretty well. Jay Dee on P=A excels as kick arse driver drummer and it is a great drum mix but would that work on AENT? Matey Nong and comrades think not. TP’s doin a great job. Keep out of the clouds and in the wigwam.

  54. avatar
    onan | 7 November 2006 at 2:42 pm #

    is the Nick Ward mentioned on the Welcome song the real Nick Ward then ?

  55. avatar
    davidcwelker | 7 November 2006 at 2:45 pm #

    interesting story mr sk. taking on the moniker of those we torture, ultimate ridicule or a twisted form of repentance ?

  56. avatar
    don't give up ya day job | 7 November 2006 at 3:30 pm #

    i had a 3 day blog black out
    our local exchange got wiped out by weather
    country life!
    and they haven’t even sold it yet
    so last night i read backwards . . .
    drug diary – holy guacamole
    zirconium thorax – as usual amazingly vivid +
    sweet children – that reminds me . . but wait
    obs’ oh – ahh yep, i guess i deserved that
    and that’s why they call ya killa, killa
    cheap compulsions come n go i guess
    just like blog comments under a button
    maybe i actually picked up something from that guy down the back
    that keeps yelling under the guarded moment
    something you read wrong
    i’ve made no attempt to be a fisher anywhere
    and really don’t want to be
    phantom or phenomenon sk
    it defiantly didn’t follow along your post-modern
    out to conquer the mountain and eat it too track
    i was blind to that whole possibility or tradition
    of essentially knowing where you’re headed before you get there
    i actually disdained religion.
    having been sausaged thru a fundamentalist mill
    and intimately witnessing its sadder outcomes
    i revered nature and life from the start
    i abhorred it’s unavoidable conclusion early (with reason)
    and these two innate poles oscillated my silent world
    thru a mantra of obvious questions i could not let go of
    i guess conditions eventually swelled n conspired
    until meridian moments or machine madness who knows?
    so ‘creature what art thou?’
    well, you’re the post-modern expert, you tell me
    my life quite literally started when i was nearly 24
    no boast of genius here
    i am naïve, no doubt
    i swept around some of the obvious places like a uni orientation day
    to see what was or wasn’t happening
    and you seemed the realest thing, sorry again!
    i rationalised your responses either way & respected your privacy
    torturing myself from time to time as only i know how
    the magician factor had not been on my radar until now
    it came as a bit of a surprise (still naïve)
    to find this whole other explanation laying on the other side of the fence
    either way though
    this extraordinary vehicle we live on
    will offer up discovery provided it’s around
    how to aid that motion is beyond me
    tools n techniques, maybe, i don’t know
    the question, yes forever essential
    now here’s another foolish fools possibility
    a fool can sink a shipload of fools
    a fool can sink himself
    but no amount of fools can sink a wise man
    otherwise we’d never find them
    they’d just disappear as fast or slow as they appear
    why am i saying all this now
    cause i’ve been a bad boy
    & i’m tired and i wanna go to bed
    please blog on
    see ya

  57. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 7 November 2006 at 3:46 pm #


  58. avatar
    echobaseone | 7 November 2006 at 4:08 pm #

    If you DO pull the plug on the blog, please promise us an autobiography…with your prose, you could even outshine Cope’s Head-On…which, it has to be said, is the greatest of rock memoirs (featuring a cameo of you-know-who).

  59. avatar
    Noel Christian | 7 November 2006 at 4:42 pm #

    VERY interesting, Steve.

    I deplore abusers and bullies.

  60. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 7 November 2006 at 6:03 pm #

    WOW! Some great tidbits of times gone by for us Church fans. I always wondered who did the high backup vocal in UM.

    Any of us who’ve been in a band or bands can understand the hell it becomes when you have one loser like that in a band, and the relief you feel when they finally get dumped!


  61. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 November 2006 at 7:03 pm #

    It was sorta good that you all experienced a character like that
    cause as a band you definately need to realize what the boundaries are
    and Im sure that made you relish what good guys you were
    and still are..
    Im still thawing out from your previous gear blog
    so intense and amazing
    I have shaken those hands once or twice
    the lost shadow dwellers
    its a tough one when you can sense the good intentions
    but its buried under the death spell
    the damage done…
    Very thankful you found the light matey…

    jaime r…………..

  62. avatar
    davem | 7 November 2006 at 7:29 pm #

    What a brilliant insight. Thanks Steve.
    I didn’t realise that he’d REALLY attacked Marty.
    On my hall wall I have an article from Melody Maker from 1982 (signed by MWP) where Marty said somrthing had to break with Nick Ward….unfortunately it was Matry’s jaw! I always thought it’d been a joke.
    Nice for you to have shoved a few things down his throat & as for Church drummers? Nothing compares to Tim. He’s so right for the band – at least the 2006 version.
    Great blog today SK. Thanks again. Looking forward to you condensing into a book for us.
    Love you more,

    Dave M

  63. avatar
    gareth,notts | 7 November 2006 at 7:30 pm #

    after 15 years of being bullied,i finally realised the only way to deal with bullies is to give ’em a damn good f**king beating as soon as they hit works 100% and they never do it again!i’ve never ever caused any trouble with anyone,but because i refuse to be bullied by anyone,i’ve not lost a fight since i was 15,and there’s been more than a few.i promised myself i’d deal with it so i did!s’pose its the price i’ve had to pay:short-arse=bully magnet!on the drummer debate absolutely love jd’s drums on p=a,but think the bands drummers,songs,music overall have evolved in perfect harmony! could be worse,you coulda been lumbered with tony whatsisname,oasis’ godawful 1st drummer.last night i finally got a drumstick from my all-time drumming hero jon farriss,its only took 20 years!!!

  64. avatar
    gareth,notts | 7 November 2006 at 7:34 pm #

    gotta love the way that line printed out,’damn good f**king’ on one line,’beating’ on the next, made me laugh anyway!

  65. avatar
    ben | 7 November 2006 at 7:49 pm #

    seen something you didnt know about and now ya do. sucks but you were betta then and now but still a price. this prick i used to be in a band with was the same way and i cared to see his anguish until it became me. still asking god to rid my anxiety now but im still pissed at him

  66. avatar
    ben | 7 November 2006 at 7:55 pm #

    tim is the missing link i thought ploog wasnt makin the band better. fuck the mix, in reference to above comment

  67. avatar
    damien | 8 November 2006 at 12:10 am #

    No, I’ll have to concur with our earlier caller. AENT and FY sound pretty muddy. ULTC is much cleaner and I likey!

  68. avatar
    stealthblue | 8 November 2006 at 12:24 am #

    HOLY SHIT! I know this guy…in another form, another SK in fact! Scott is his name. Although, I think he actually has a heart, but trying to finish a recording with him was pure hell. In fact, we never did finish that project. Too many things happened from those days that it never came full circle…yet, we’re still dicking around with those songs, etc, but the pace has slowed because of physical distance and just life in general. (It is my big dilema in life right now…”Must create record”) He was mediocre at best on drums and couldn’t play anything but the same beats and rolls, and had the nerve to complain about the “simplicity” of the songs and the “lame lyrics etc.” I think there must be one in every band. He had his little “sayings” too, like : ” What? Fuck you, then, you wanna box?” He basically wanted to “throw-down” whenever there was any kind of indifference or constructive criticism…we never wanted to hurt his feelings or he’d threaten someone with violence. It was like walking on broken glass, you were bound to get cut at some point. Plus, he snorted the crap out of fucking coke like it was going to run away from him…behind our backs of course, because we had agreed “No COKE”. He had a wicked sense of humor, but I always felt that he was generally pretty disappointed in himself or something…always had a chip on his shoulder, about anyone, anytime. Oh yeah, and EVERYTHING was “gay” of course and “fucking retarded” etc. Eventually, he stormed off in the middle of a recording session, of course when we were finally ready to truck on with our new beautiful studio at Jay’s. Some words were exchanged and he left me stranded there with “no ride”…well of course Lenny gave me a ride, but he really thought he fucked us, and in a way it did for a while. But yeah, a couple “new” dudes and the vibe is so much better and just…More Happy and creative. It’s like that whole “rotten apple” thing…Glad that is over. I am glad that the Crunch survived!! Actually, that “fire under you butts” probably helped, no? I mean look at ya, you’re A-OK. Thank you for sharing all these background experiences. It really makes me feel…good…like we are all so very human.
    Ben V.

  69. avatar
    Belfrank | 8 November 2006 at 4:39 am #

    Killa – Nick Ward called me and he says when he sees you he’s gonna kick the crap outta you.
    And another thing – was Life Speeds Up about Ploogy’s live drumming?
    This day’s blog was a legend – pity I got to it late.

  70. avatar
    Tom Miller | 8 November 2006 at 4:49 am #

    And what’s more – reading back further in the comments the Tim bashing is out of order there lads.
    There’s a long time that this band wouldn’t have made it through without Tim. For that we must be all eternally grateful. As well as being a superb drummer and the most right drummer the Church have had without question (Jay Dee is great, but he gets too busy behind the kit at times for my liking). Tim gives the music the space it needs and his originality of style is notable.
    This case is closed.
    Tom V
    PS – eh Kilbey – about that 5 bucks I lent you on the tour in 88?

  71. avatar
    Melquiades | 8 November 2006 at 6:27 am #

    I concur wholly

  72. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 November 2006 at 9:24 am #

    There’s no Tim bashing at all – I said his drumming was genius! So imaginative and individual, such distinctive and inventive druuming – but I want to be able to HEAR the drums, not struggle to dicipher the brilliance cos he’s compressed em so much n mixed em so low. Drum sound on Snow Job was spot on – and Tim’s genius is clear to all. Drum sound on FY..?

  73. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 November 2006 at 9:25 am #

    “druuming” ?! Erm…um…cough…

  74. avatar
    lily | 8 November 2006 at 10:32 am #

    Wow. I had no idea that Nick…er, Nigel…was so, um…mercurial, to put it nicely. I guess MWP took one for the team when he got punched. Glad the band is more stable these days!

  75. avatar
    John Garratt | 8 November 2006 at 2:41 pm #

    “Edgier and more direct than their later work, it also ranks among their finest for that very reason.”

    Says Chris Woodstra in his review of “Of Skins & Heart.”

    I’ll have to listen to it again.


  76. avatar
    CSTCoach | 8 November 2006 at 3:00 pm #

    Wow! Very cool. Not the shit you had to put up with, but the backstory on the choich. Nice to see a miserable bullying prick get his own back in the end. Karma catches up with ya…


  77. avatar
    sue cee | 9 November 2006 at 10:10 am #

    For me Tim is and always will be “the man” on drums but this tale really wasnt about who is the best drummer.

    truth sure is stranger than fiction when it comes to nick and i dont mean the cave.

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