posted on July 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm

mercy granted but never taken

talking to the dead of winter

talking to the spirit of a warm long ago

make us then cast in doubt

clothed in deception

cloaked in stupid tricks

disguised as us ourselves

invisible for all see

wow the whole world is but a stage mama

and we’re all co-stars in some two bit space opera

but fuck i am impressed by your method acting style

one could get sick of it easily i guess… its relentless enough

this kind of melodrama causes one to eventually to become detached tho

there is only so much florid slapstick cliche one can absorb

reckless headlong falls into chasms of mindless pointless darknesses

you could lose your way down there

you might never be able to get back out

who will search for us in the ruins of bitter homes….?

karma binds me to its wheel

i sow i reap my grapes of wrath

and i love/hate its dirty taste that i get drunk on

yeah thats my vintage yeah thats my poison

i come staggering up streets bursting into living rooms

ten men to hold me down

poisonous snake voice in my ear

yes yes the one who tempted eve

and the same one who whispers to every traitor and ponce

the same one who whispers to the loser in the betting shop

the same one who whispers to junk sick fuckwits

who pick up the shooter over n over expecting different ending

yeah oh i know the voice who doth whisper in your ear my dear

and he has many many names i’m sure you heard some on your rounds

is there an ear in which

he does not spin his bewildering intoxicating murmurings ?

what is it that makes us so simultaneously righteous and yet mistaken ?

the voice continues

listen to me

you will do everything i say please

and you inwardly nod yes ok

you are released to create havoc

run amok or disappear

break new unique taboos yes yes mmmmm

by the way have some more of your favourite thing

(insert heroin booze crack gambling eating beating cheating or whatever)

you must be feeling tired with all this persecution

you should relax with a little of the good stuff the naughty naughty stuff

the top shelf over the counter black label poison that is ruinous to mankind

maybe its real hard to find

you’ll find it

maybe it will be easy to find

then strike while the iron is red hot

and then the voice says

fuck them because they fucked you

and you fucked it up so fuck you too

fuck all the onlookers for they shalt get involved

and fuck people chasing after you for they were all fools

if fooled by the likes of you and me so easily fooled and foolishly

yeah sure sure i borrowed from peter to pay fucking paul

i borrowed from samson scissors for delilah

i lent a guy something once though thats for sure

so fuck them in the past they shall be forgotten conveniently

and fuck em in the future coz it aint gonna be pretty without me

and fuck all the ignorant they will become aware of my thrashing

and fuck the aware there nowhere anyway

fuck all those strangers out there what did they do for us?

fuck all the closest because they will end up meek as mice or wild like bulls

fuck all the rules fuck all the regulations

don’t try to rationalise it just fuck em n be done with it!

the voice pauses as if thinking

I will help you build up such fascinating little lies you will be thrilled

careful though not too many at once..oh no ..youve overdone it….again..!

turn down the saturation now a bit

these green skin tones are vivid yes but…

listen to me…

try again

don’t give up

the perfect lie is still out there like a great song waiting to be written

the voice stopped for awhile and then went on in a more confidential whisper

the great lie will be a work in progress for a while

practice on others at first yes

but eventually the great lie you will tell yourself

i cannot tell you that great lie in words

it will unfurl of its own accord a seed within fertile earth

it will grow and devour its own roots leaving its causes untraceable

beautiful beautiful lie for each man and woman unique

each interwoven so carefully the villains and the jerks

the idiots who get used

the idiots who get used up

the idiots who used you

the idiots who used you up uselessly

be subtle beautiful lie not next mans nightmare

be sweet and tender

be soul surrender

oh my lie fuck me fuck me over fuck me up

oh my lie fuck my brains out

oh great lie then fuck me dead

the wonderful clever ambiguous lie

moving under logics iffy radar

passing itself as a real emotion in the market of your heart

standing and commiserating with you at the bar

all those bastards out there are all fucked!

the loveliest lie the very best lie….?

oh but you must live it so well you must be an imitation of anti-christ

where christ was  wise you will be stupid

where he was kind you will be senselessly hurtful

where he was merciful so shall you find yourself vindictive

the lie will fill your mouth with its unspoken words

which will hatch on the breezes like tiny woes

stinging everyone and causing bad reactions

often total  avoiding of all concerned

displeasure sweeps through the bit players who separate you from the poison

anxiety may enter through your entrails at this point

you must cling to your lie if you are to succeed

succeed in what?

i cannot tell you your mission

each man and womans use of their great secret lie is their choice

the more you put in

the less you can ever take out

your mission will be some form of dismay

you will incite anger you will create a vague and incomprehensible chaos

you will break off little bits of the one true lie

and from this you will now be able to model little lies

of originality and breathtaking obviousness

when people hear your smaller lies they will think

why have i never heard that before in my life?

that is simply marvellous! that is simply superb!

you will pull together weird combinations of characters stung by their own lie

you will put characters from wrong time sequences in erroneous places

it won’t be all hard work

there will be some lying around stoned into a black stupor

or writhing around like a louse in an electric lice comb

or screaming silently in a dream you couldn’t get out of

or twitching like a drunk in a pharmacy

the lie is therefore becoming alpha and omega

it tries and sentences and executes its own suspects

it investigates the one million trespasses of enemy

it examines the same evidence over and over until its evaporated away

its the answer before you ask

the suggestion in your ear

your excuse your rationale your alibi your last defiant words to a traitor who’s had enough

now go out there

abdicate from society if you like

why do what they want you to do when you don’t have to?

someone will come along and sort it all out….

yes people will forgive us if we tread on their toes

we can miss stuff out here and there

we can lie to the lie and the lie can lie back

the voice had stopped

i listened but heard nothing

the sea pounding the shore

the light tap of the rain

the wind in the trees which is whispering something as well

i wonder if the wind blows your little lies

on and up to me as i stand here listening….





27 Responses to “nevets yeblik and the long division”

  1. avatar
    kell | 11 July 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    Hey you! Could I possibly send a money order to your PO Box for Isidore 2? As in, the CD version? Please…..? (Have e-mailed ‘Sam’ thru the website, no reply as yet….would really like to hear it….) Downloading doesn’t work for me ~ it ain’t the same…

  2. avatar
    kell | 11 July 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    What about the ‘little truths’, and the Great Truths. They exist, too. So hard to find, but not really. They exist within your True Self, which is angry enough at everything to write today’s words of truth. Truth if you go down that path. If you….choose to. Spit it out then get over it. Truth and love heal the poison. The poison is there from the choices made. Some choices bring more love, freedom, joy, truth. Some choices lead us further away, so we can then feel more pain, all the more to wake up and say ‘NO MORE!!!!’ HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING CONDITION!!! Then, change it. You can, you’re eternal. We all are. Check out, or even better, The information is there on the state of….things. The distortions, the fuck-ups, the geometries, the implants, & what you can do about it. Not too late, Kilbey. Never too late. Get on board….unless you find it….boring! Blessings

  3. avatar
    Estelle M | 11 July 2012 at 5:46 pm #

    ‘i come staggering up streets bursting into living rooms
    ten men to hold me down’

    That part really sticks with me.
    The perfect visual to sum it all up.

  4. avatar
    colette | 11 July 2012 at 6:19 pm #

    I’m sorry to say you look really sad in the photo… maybe I just lied. It is good to feel, better than not feel. I will try to be as truthful as I can. I spent today pretty much alone and hardly spoke except to my daughter and a few people I just ordered things from. Part of me really loves the idea of never speaking again and becoming a hermit. I sometimes wonder if i am an autist who has learnt how to function. I saw a film ‘Elena’ and it seemed very realistic to me. Two female characters: the quiet Elena. The cynical Katya. I felt i understood them both very well. After the film, I lay on a park bench for a while and thought wouldn’t it be nice to be homeless? The sun was shining but there was a cool wind. So the wind reminded me I was kidding myself. I felt I hated people who looked at me except for smiling children. Maternal instinct led me back to pick up my daughter at the right time, bring her home, hang out the washing and cook dinner. I feel like I know very little else except I was surprised to see some spring flowers out already, some parts of the art gallery I hadn’t seen before and the beauty of the harbour.I did wonder how Virginia W felt when she drowned herself. I am happy my daughter had a good day. I took some reasonable photos. I know my addiction to art and beauty esp in gardens I don’t tend is probably objectively a kind of bullshit. I also know I am sometimes happiest and free-est in that kind of outwardly silent, numb mood, hatred simmering beneath and fighting with a desire to mend. Mend self/others? Stumped again.

    • avatar
      Dr.Breshniya | 11 July 2012 at 8:27 pm #

      Hello Colette, I would like to comment on your last few posts and I hope you will not be offended. I am a doctor of psychology, a “quack” as it were, and it is quite obvious to me you are suffering from an elevated state of depression and a minor state of paranoia. I have been practicing for over two decades and your words make it very clear to me. It is none of my business but if you could answer a couple of questions I believe a thorough analysis could be done quickly. My email If you would prefer I jump in a lake that would be ok too. You are in a dangerous state of mind but it could be easily rectified in my humble opinion.

      Dr. B

      • avatar
        colette | 12 July 2012 at 9:29 am #

        Thank you but no thank you. You seem a bit thick.

  5. avatar
    Stewart | 11 July 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Wonderfully enthralling. Thank you.

  6. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 11 July 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    Very powerful fucking stuff…I think you really fucking nailed the ‘self-imposed pity party’…

    I agree with Colygrl…the pic…you look tired, it ma be an afterthought of being ill…
    I hope you and your charges are feeling better. I always take a peek at the weather
    by you…looks kinda gloomy…did it inspire this fucking rant ??? Sometimes its really
    senseful to stand on the edge of the fucking mountain and yell all the fuck around…
    Clear the stale air from the lungs and brakish thoughts from the brain jelly…

    If life came with an instruction manual it would be so boring as all fucking hell, but sometimes
    I wish it came with an expiration date slip…so we can not waste time on irrelevantcy and complete
    the tasks at hand…I don’t want to leave anything for my children that will cause them hardship
    or endless grief when I am gone…cause I spent time dancing with complaints…
    I just want them to remember me as someone who really cared and tried my best to give them
    the perfect life, the perfect childhood…give to them all the things I was unable to have…but I feel
    time spinning faster, what the fuck !!!
    Borrowed time ??? From who ???
    Chasing time ??? Where do we run anymore ???
    Free time ??? Nothings fuckn free !!!
    Pay ! Pay ! Pay !

    If the answers to all this misery is like looking for a ‘needle in a haystack’ …

    Than my question is : Who in the hell is shooting up and leaving spent needles in the barn ???

    Today is gonna fuckn suck, lets laugh at the deliver man and make it better !!!


    • avatar
      Cocoamo | 12 July 2012 at 11:40 am #

      Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.

  7. avatar
    Chris | 11 July 2012 at 11:51 pm #

    Steve is a poet of monumental grace, ability and insight. He has an extremely powerful awareness of the reality of God…so deep and I intense it takes my breath away. He is a genius…a prophet….a humble mystic…a true artist in a world full of fakes. Keep the faith, Steve.

  8. avatar
    Once | 12 July 2012 at 12:00 am #


    In my (perhaps misguided and naive) opinion, the biggest lies are as follows:

    There is no God. But if there is, he certainly does not love us. He delights in throwing shit in our paths and waits for us to fuck up so he can dole out punishment. No one else really loves us either, and we should never be so presumptuos as to love ourselves. Life has no point whatsoever, we are merely animals. There is no soul, everything we aspire to is done out of greed, fear and lust. We do not deserve to feel utter joy at any given time. There is no beauty. There is no art. There is no love, only neediness. We ourselves are lies.

    I don’t know. But I do know. I’m not believing that bullshit, not for a second.


  9. avatar
    hippy | 12 July 2012 at 3:23 am #

    I watched an old live video of U2 on youtube (circa ’81 or ’82) and Bono says between songs, “I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles.”

    WTF?? Did he time travel to 1992 to hear “Ripple” or is that line from somewhere else? I just about jumped out of my seat when I heard him say that!

  10. avatar
    Serge Zéni | 12 July 2012 at 3:49 am #

    Hi, Steven!
    Just read your blog now. A recent death in my family might disconnect me from the Internet a bit.

    Hopefully, I should download more in the next weeks.
    I hope everything’s OK with you all.

  11. avatar
    DCW disguised as us ourselves | 12 July 2012 at 10:17 am #

    Roaming around troubled and rambling and seeing what jealousy sees digging deep looking for fault and finding it as nothing’s perfect but above the imperfections is brilliance in the company of youth how dare it as so very few can own let alone wear the warmth of genius so beautifully at 23 and the vesture of hypocrisy stinks for shore and home where love’s already dull as fuck solid as glorified lard and broiled bullshit as vanity is losing weight leaving a lame shriveled also-ran officious clod sapless in the wake of the rookie UTMW scrapheap for eternal tyros.


  12. avatar
    DavidP | 12 July 2012 at 10:54 am #

    sorry the malarkey seems to be continuing unabated in spades
    they say karma allows for learning

  13. avatar
    Cocoamo | 12 July 2012 at 11:49 am #

    This is an extremely powerful post. What a mind you have. You have an incredible talent for getting to the bottom of things.

    it will unfurl of its own accord a seed within fertile earth
    it will grow and devour its own roots leaving its causes untraceable

    Wow. Like a tornado, it picked me up, spun me around, and blew me away.

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 July 2012 at 1:20 pm #

    the energy of lies consumes/sucks in everything in it’s path like a black hole, starting so tiny yet with the heaviest/weighted core, so in the the energy of lies they actually consume everything around to get sucked in with them – most often difficult not to get clobbered by them even when not directed at you — just stuck in their path (they’re everywhere!) or you have to become so guarded/rigid you let them make you whacked/too stern (pretty much) so… then, isn’t it best to keep thoughts to afterwards? the hard part: getting back up from the carnage they cause and going on peacefully (knowing the truth) without bitterness and all that nasty stuff. Bitter can last forever if we let it. you see that ending everywhere just about every day… dear, dear – are you okay? (don’t really say that, but think it quite often)

  15. avatar
    Bernadettekeys | 12 July 2012 at 1:40 pm #

    confronting true unforgiving take no prisoners writing I like a lot.

  16. avatar
    Steven Krut | 12 July 2012 at 2:14 pm #

    So much energy and effort committed to the goal of giving the slip to pain. An entire, vast industry working overtime to supply the demand. The voice is the salesman, I suppose. A traveling salesman. He knocks on your door, gives you his card. He’s got a 24-hour delivery service. Call any time. You won’t be sorry. The lie is his promise – the promise of an escape to a pain-free place. The brochure is so colorful you want to believe. But it’s the same old bait and switch it’s always been. And the worst part is you know that. You know it and yet still you call that number on the card in the middle of the night because the pain is so great and you think that somehow, just maybe, this time you’ll actually get the fabulous beachfront condo with the jacuzzi and the gold-plated faucets and not the roach-infested, smelly room in the bankrupt motel by the expressway with the water-stained walls and the yellow-stained mattress. But you don’t. Life is suffering and the only way to reduce it is to dim the very experience of being alive – a shitty bargain. That’s my view of addiction. The way out of it, I guess, is to see the bargain for what it is. Easier said than done, I suppose, but you would think it becomes self-evident after awhile…

  17. avatar
    Chris | 12 July 2012 at 5:15 pm #

    Thankyou too, Steve…it was a privilege to share that time with you and Sam. Folks, I had the pleasure and privilege of interviewing the artistic genius and master of the arcane, Steven J Kilbey, about his spiritual journey on Wednesday. If you email me, as soon as the video is edited, I will send you the link. My email is:

  18. avatar
    Zac | 12 July 2012 at 6:29 pm #

    Hey Steve. I’ve been a fan of your work since the beginning and am also a songwriter musician. I have always related to what you’ve had to say and the taste with which you have said it. Do you know what MBTI personality type you are by any chance? I’m an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judgement)and have always wondered if you were also. There are a plethora of online tests if you don’t know and care to find out. Anyway, regardless of whether this is of interest to you, thanks for over thirty years of creative output that greatly affected my life and influenced my own direction enormously.

  19. avatar
    vicks | 14 July 2012 at 10:51 pm #

    That post has had me sitting here thinking for an hour, 2 years & I haven’t surfaced, can’t even see the sunlight. 2 years I have shunned listening to music, stayed busy during the week & on the weekends struggled to do anything, won’t call friends. anger has gone (well no not really).

    but lately I’ve started listening to the church, leaving the ipod going all night & not sure if that’s good or bad. but there is shock and maybe even emerging happiness in finally seeing the truth of all those years.

    Your words are better than the psychologist who said it was a waste of money seeing him cause I was strong! that does not sound as much of a compliment as I mean it.

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 15 July 2012 at 10:02 am #

      get better love music
      music will heal! take it all in!
      love steven

      • avatar
        vickileew | 15 July 2012 at 9:52 pm #

        Thanks. In that space that I can only wait & hope that I will feel able to try… when I can have the house filled with music without feeling loss.
        I wish resilience for us all!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.