posted on April 23, 2007 at 8:51 am

the time being awakes
from a deep troubled sleep
trying to do some impossible task
some mystery achievement
i awake in a small dark room
outside a leaden sky
world drained of colour
then i remember
as far back as my thoughts will go
a town called utrecht
we were a little late hitting stage
but it was good
now no more than a distant set of images
playing n singing
technical troubles
all i ever wantd to see etc….
then find hotel in darkness
check in
try to call fambley but no luck
wanted to talk…never mind…
next day yoga n qi gong in hotel room
big spacious room
lovely bathroom
the sort of bathroom youd look forward
to using every day n night
a powerful stream of hot water
a nice range of bing-bangs for washing etc
thick ole towels
a hare drier
anyway have brekky
the boys from hs7 are down havin a very hearty
hammy miss pammy
bacony bacon
pressed meaty weaties all speckled with yrchhh!
my word theyre lovely guys
n a very good band
if you aint seen em yet
you will be surprised
i do wishh however
they could sort out the food
n the ciggies
or they aint gonna be rockin
in 20 years time like yours truly, julie
i mean
you cant rock on meat n cigs when ya nilly 53
that having beeb said howe ever
your lowly time being has been gorging on euro bread
n euro chockies….totally unvegan, megan
im sorry
at most places i been havin tomato soup n chips
or fries or pomme frites or whatever
predictably and including not swimming
even in this short time
the beings mortal frame has suffered
no exercise
just sitting in cars
like after brekky yessaday
well i had muesli n soy milk
the soy milk i procured for myself from gig last nite
but i also had 3 bread rolls with delishus jammy
i never would eat that at home
in other words im getting fatter again
after five years progress
undone by a weak week or so of chockies bready
n hanging about
or driving
driving the van
when did i sign up for this lark
a hundred n fifty on the auto -barn
jokers in porshies goin past like im standin’ still
the van has little torque
tho it has plenny of talk
sometimes i get stuck overtaking a truck or something
n i become a bottleneck
holding up a thousand of deutschlands most impatient ninnies
who beep n gimme fingers n arms up
as they rocket past
after our olde nag has finally gotten past
and sunday nite drivin along
seeing all the happy familys
driving home to warm well appointed houses
in some leafy tolerant suburbia
with veggie restaurants n people who clean up
after their canine friends
and i wish n i dream
if i was livin’ in that flat there
if that bloke there was me walkin’ along
if i was driving that beemer full of kids
if it was me riding along on a bike
holding hands with me girlfriend on her bike
the way they do in holland
i feel kinda temporary n lonely
driving thru a terrible traffic jam that meant
crawling at 1 k for about 20 ks
and its a manual…..
we stop at first place in denmark
i order chilli burger without meat
they still charge me over 20 aust bucks for it
n a platey of chippy whippies
wow thats nasty even for bondi
we drive n drive
through the gloaming
i get in back pull a blanket round meself
n ipod on
smoke some dutch herbals
but still feel empty lonesome n blue
we arrive in arhus denmark
worst hotel ever
like a network of tiny cells
like a jail cell for not so naughty crims
its suicide hotel
its joyless cheerless
its still a hundred aust bucks a night
everything in here is pale green
my phone didnae werk
i wanted to call nk…
march down to desk
wheres me phone?
gormless clerk: its there
no it aint
gc : yes it is
i go back up
no it aint!
gc : listen im ringing it..hear it ringing
maybe so but its dead at my end
gc: why you want phone?
what? you cheeky rascal….
i wanna call my goode wife
gc : please to use payphone
but i justa arrived ni got no danish crowns
i wanna use the phone in me room
gc :another room then
but i must come with you n i must serve all the other disgruntled
people inevitably gathered here expecting a semblance of accomodation
and instead have found this disgusting shambles of a place
n its hopelessly gormless desk clerk
among them mwp whos trying to park the van
hes arguing with gc
i hang around glaring
i guess he finds me the better bet
than an angry mwp
he starts calling me steve
hes not danish
hes some weird mix of a whole loada things
he speaks a weird soft english
and he starts a little conversation on the way to the room
unfortunately the time being just grunts n shrugs
being uninterested in this banter
he lets me into room with a chuckle
i let you have their room he says almost under his breath
i dont venture to ask who they might be
i hope not mwp n tiare…..
but now i have two singles pushed 2 gether
and no upper bunk bed
(can ya believe it)
pick up the phone says gc
i pick it up
ah …a dial tone
the gc grins
there you go steve he says in his soft voice
im sorry i was so…..ah… know…i say
he says yes steve this was my first week on the job
oh i say dismayed
he goes back off to fight mwp
when i pick up phoney to call tho
when i hit 0 for outside line
the phone makes a sound like a prisoner has just escaped
a whoo ooo eee ooo whoo ooo eeee oooo
im just about beside myself now
off i go
marching thru the tv area where hs7 are setting up a smoke screen
back to front desk
where poor man is in deep argy bargy with mwp
who hasnt been able to park van for almost an hour
let alone getting into a room
if they had a picture
of the word “beleaguered”
they should have this dude
anyway i rudely interrupt this argument
it wont dial out
he jumps behind desk
and fumbles with computer
i dont know why steve he says
i march off in a super huff
n then i explode
off i go to my room
take off clothes
what can i do
i lay down on the plank of a bed
knock knock
i explode
who the fuck is it? i scream
its him
oh no
i jump up n pull my pants back on
stumble to the door
“i just want to say i dont know why n i am sorry steve”
great i say
you got me outta bed for that?
(remember it was 2 a.m. n i’d driven 12 hours)
can i call your wife for you in america he asks
no i say
just go away n have a good night …
i imagine him ringing nk would give her a fright
hello…in his soft voice
please hello is this steves wife…? in america?
no itd blow her mind
i gotta do something about this phone tho
boy i hope hes gone home by now…
i started likin’ him n then i couldnt be so angry
i need to call twillies re arrangements for sweden 2morrow
tonite its arhus
a completely unknown quantity
we’re doing ok in copenhagen
but malmo aint sold many tix
i have no idea what we could mean up here
its a gamble
as per bloody usual

35 Responses to “nordic sadness falling down”

  1. avatar
    eek | 23 April 2007 at 10:22 am #

    When I win the lotto (which I don’t play, so it could be a while) I’ll be sure to get you a series of cell and/or satellite phones with unlimited minutes to allow you to call anyone from anywhere. I’m sorry you weren’t able to call NK. Sucks to be away from your loved ones and then not even be able to call them. Hope you are able to have a good visit with the twillies.

    I have to admit I really feel for the poor gormless clerk. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be bitched out by both you and MWP. I’m not sure which I’d want to do more — cry or kill ya.

  2. avatar
    Peter Podcast | 23 April 2007 at 10:22 am #

    Nevermind the flab old son.
    It’ll soon come off.
    Can’t you make the tour sound a little more glamourous?
    Just the odd Jacuzzi or Ted Nugent in the lift?
    Your not making me jealous at all(maybe a bit).
    Rockk onn!!!!

  3. avatar
    Daberhasher | 23 April 2007 at 10:25 am #

    so,uh, is the van parked yet…
    can you believe i have the gall to ask you to come to America for more of the same curses??? but the blessings, surely they outweigh the frustrations… hopefully… hey, you didn’t smash the phone, good on ‘ya!
    now, i don’t even have one, but what about a prepaid cell phone for touring, surely the peeps who keep your apple shiny and happy could point you in the right direction…
    “Laetitia,SK phone home… home…”
    all the best
    on the rockfest…

    enjoy Sweden and the twillies!!!


  4. avatar
    Symon | 23 April 2007 at 10:33 am #

    Hotels are all the fucking same…take ya money…treat ya like shit and wish you a quick return when ya leavin…..they’ve got a fucking prayer I’ll bet you’ll be saying when you leave.

    Maybe Sweden’ll be better….some lubbly rellies to shack up with for the night and some home cooked vegan delite !

    Sounds like you need to remember to check in with the ole Shadow Steve…. or he might just really explode when ya least want him to.

    Good luck catching up with NK…don’t know how you do it. My partner and I don’t live together (LOOOOONNNG story), but I really need to talk with her everyday or the whole lunar/star thingy gets all out of alignment within me.

    gods speed to you……your Shadow…your muse and the Church !

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 April 2007 at 10:46 am #

    Fuck man, d’ya do all of this touring stuff for the megabucks that you earn, the glamorous locations, perks of stardom or the chance to gorge on top-shelf CHOCOLATE??
    -The Hellbound Heart

  6. avatar
    malcolm arkey | 23 April 2007 at 11:15 am #

    A wise man once wrote in 1930…

    “And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
    Lying down in the melting snow.
    There were times we regretted
    The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
    And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
    Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
    And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
    And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
    And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
    And the villages dirty, and charging high prices.:
    A hard time we had of it.
    At the end we preferred to travel all night,
    Sleeping in snatches,
    With the voices singing in our ears, saying
    That this was all folly.”

  7. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 April 2007 at 11:28 am #

    you prove time and time again that the old saying “you suffer for your art” is true. but at least “gormless clerk” was sympathetic to your troubles, it’s always good to hear an “i’m sorry” when you’re having such a bad time.

    hopefully the rest of the tour will go smoothly enough, and you’re able to get in touch with the fambly soon….

    lotza love

  8. avatar
    veleska1970 | 23 April 2007 at 11:29 am #

    to my fellow fiendss: thanks for the well-wishes. i’m still hurting quite a bit, but my CT scan is this morning and i hope all goes well. i’m ok for the most part. can’t say the same about my poor automobile, though. it’s demolished.


  9. avatar
    kokky | 23 April 2007 at 11:46 am #

    Hi Steve, I worried a lot too last week about the state I’d be in, but my hour of running yesterday was one of the best ever. On my last round I even sprinted past a geezer riding his mountain-bike uphill! I’m sure you’ll do ok when back in the Bondi seawater-pool.

    And re. the fries: don’t go all bad-conscience about them, but enjoy them instead. All in all you’re still eating healthier than 99,99% of all human beings I suppose.

    Took me 5 secs btw to score Mimesis from Red Eyes online shop. Looking forward to hearing it!

    Oh, and I’ll email you when you’re back home about Neuman.

    Hej då!

  10. avatar
    Museum of Medieval Torture Machines | 23 April 2007 at 12:15 pm #

    > i guess he finds me the better
    > bet than an angry mwp

    This is one of the very people I don’t want to count among my enemies…btw – Remember the Medieval Torture Machines in Prague? I’d be surprised if they don’t have a sea of sun machines, down in their little czech fun dungeon.


  11. avatar
    12str | 23 April 2007 at 12:21 pm #

    a shitty welcome to the north i have to say SK…
    hope that malmo will be better than expected….(bought 2 tickets to the show…not really break even but a start…)anyway a small gift for you as a token of appreciation…if i cant give it to u in malmo i will try in copenhagen…got 2 tickets for that show aswell..have a good throw host a magnificent show..


  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 April 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    hell i feel sorry now. terrible story. you know these things come and go. cyclical. mimesis rules.
    sorry marty bout the parking.

    rock em anyway


  13. avatar
    ~ | 23 April 2007 at 12:42 pm #

    of course it would blow her mind
    if at any hour
    of lunar star
    or day
    the voices that whisper folly many
    however taking turns during the night to tend the fire
    a torch shows the way home through the forest
    so close now
    so close so
    I see happy couples in booths
    I am happy for them, but it reminds me
    that I’m
    here alone
    happy and light in heart
    free in spirit
    heavy feet and empty hand
    eyes that wish to see
    that which they do not see here
    each day
    you cannot gamble with constance
    no prize to win
    gifts given to you of silver trees and golden trees
    speaking in the garden
    telling you with guilded tongues
    of how they kiss and how they miss and how they
    with longing, yes,
    full brimming over
    heart has found in that inspiration
    the thing that pales all other colours
    reveals ordinary life to be
    full of possiblity for extraordinary experience


  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 April 2007 at 12:59 pm #


    i’m sorry too steve. we woulda let ya have the penthouse suite if *only* you’d given us all a signed copy of mimesis.

    (hotel management)

  15. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 23 April 2007 at 1:22 pm #

    What a hassle don’t have a cell phone?? I haven’t used any landline in foreva.

  16. avatar
    CSTCoach | 23 April 2007 at 1:35 pm #

    hey stevie k,

    finally caught up on the back blogs. really identified with that one where you smashed your ipod speaker thingy to bits. i get that exact same feeling with the computer – with anything electronic, really. when it doesn’t obey my every command i feel that boiling rage coming on. i know its futile, but it seems that i’m helpless against getting sucked down into it. Then my girlfriend gets mad as hell, so the fallout lasts for a couple days. I tried telling her that the same thing happens to Steve Kilbey. That only made it worse.

    I hear ya too about the extra road flab. Happens to us all. I had the same thing on this last trip to Jordan. Going 5 star for the first 9 days, boozing every night with a bunch of writers. I thought the desert expedition would dry me out, dessicate me back down to size, but those Bedouin guys rustled up a feast every night. I find myself back here having to work it off on the hurry up, for the ole coaching job…

    good luck in sweden. I have a couple friends who are supposed to catch the show, hopefully they’ll bring a few more, and so on, and so on….

    I know I said it before, but Mimesis is brilliant.

    take care, druid, and safe travels.


  17. avatar
    CSTCoach | 23 April 2007 at 1:36 pm #

    hey veleska,

    very sorry to hear about your misfortune! wishing you a speedy recovery.


  18. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 23 April 2007 at 2:10 pm #

    Hello Steven,
    I’m sitting here reading this and thinking, who has not been overseas somewhere and wanted to throw a telephone out the window? Just don’t be like Russell Crowe and throw it at the poor clerk!! Reminds me of trying to call the States from London once – ugly story. However I do recall saying “I can totally see how bands get on drugs while touring” – after a mere month running around Europe I was seriously strung out. I admire your fitness, strength and fortitude!

    Hmmm..dealing with an angry SK or an angry MWP? I’ve dealt with the latter…I’ll take SK any day. 😉
    Let me know if you ever need any calling cards – although you do need a phone to use them with, don’t ya? Hope you connect with NK soon. I miss you.

  19. avatar
    John Garratt | 23 April 2007 at 3:00 pm #

    “among them mwp whos trying to park the van”

    Does me know how to drive? I thought I read somewhere that he never wanted to learn how to drive. Like Thom Yorke. Or David Sedaris.

    John Garratt

  20. avatar
    eek | 23 April 2007 at 3:06 pm #

    hmm…Hey John, that could be part of the reason why he’s having trouble parking the van. 😉

  21. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 23 April 2007 at 3:09 pm #

    I blame Steve’s trials and tribulations on the musical press. The Church are inarguably one of the greatest bands on the planet. However, the American and European music critics have ignored them for the past 15 years. During that time, the Church created far superior music than the years when the media was covering them. Every CD since Priest=Aura has been awesome. Steve should be enjoying gourmet vegan food in ecologically-friendly jets that transport the Church throughout the world.

  22. avatar
    kat | 23 April 2007 at 3:27 pm #

    sk et al.,

    hope it gets better for you. traveling gets old when the destination is more than shoddy & organizations are unorganized.

    *** veleska, many well wishes go out to you! i didn’t realize what happened til today.

    xo peace kat

  23. avatar
    salim nourallah | 23 April 2007 at 3:38 pm #

    i feel your pain steve. these frustrating touring occurrences take their toll on anyone. i’m sending you wishes for a good gig, nice hotel (with friendly smart desk clerk), some tasty vegan food, light traffic, a phone that works and a good night of sleep. hang in there!!!!

  24. avatar
    fantasticandy | 23 April 2007 at 3:56 pm #

    i agree with you brian,100%.
    thing is, the popular music press worldwide isn’t interested in music as art.
    unfortunatly only the tiniest number of musicians seem to have ‘cracked’ the mainstream market without a good deal of comprimise.
    i think now is a good time to debunk the priest=aura myth.
    that album was only the beginning.
    i wish sk and the druids were properly rewarded too.
    but if it’s any consolation sk, your fans really do feel as though
    you and the band are personal friends who make music just for the love of it.
    i’m sure i here it in every single note.
    now i’m half-dead with a heart attack and i’m shambling around like a busted-down old bloke,but i’ll be there at islington no matter what,because THIS IS THE MUSICAL EVENT OF THE YEAR.
    pity the spiritually malnourished souls who are not even aware of it.
    thanks for going through all this shit for us, you are indeed a true friend,
    much love and respect,
    andy L.

    p.s. i know how much you love those girls,not long now!

    p.p.s.good luck valeska,all the best.

  25. avatar
    nickfiction | 23 April 2007 at 4:32 pm #

    sounds like a shitty tour …… but …. it has it’s upsides. Someday ( and from what you keep saying, i bet it’s soon ) when you hang up your travelin jazz bass. you can lie down and close your eyes and know that you gave it 100% and that your legacy will live forever. I think ” the church ” are one of the most interesting bands to walk on a stage. You have consistently made albums dripping with depth, character, lush soundscapes, and just great songwriting . It has kept my interest for more than half of my life. To me? THe church are the greatest band of all time!! we fuckin love ya!!!

  26. avatar
    EARTHFRIEND | 23 April 2007 at 5:07 pm #

    hang in there me mighty warriors, hang in there…

  27. avatar
    stealthblue | 23 April 2007 at 5:28 pm #

    Hey Stevo,
    All I know is you guys are absolute troopers. Hope the rest goes well for you and you get to hang out with the twillies a bit.
    Also, I hope you get to place a call (yourself) to NK! JESUS FC!! Yep, certain hotels can be lots o’fun sometimes.

    Take care out there, man.
    Much love and respect to you and the fellers,

    ***Veleska, so sorry to hear about your “bad timing”. Hope you are ok and recovering soon enough. Much love…

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 April 2007 at 8:41 pm #

    Welcome to faulty towers!
    my my and here I am wishin I could come along,
    stay strong and flow with it sk
    you got the power
    use it well,
    You know there’s a little synapse in my mind that flashes instantaneously,
    which is to hear or see the church and feel it like it was the first time,
    that moment is really awesome for me..
    know that there are people that are having that moment and more that need it..
    you guys rock..
    drive safe…

    Peace and love,
    jaime r…….

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 April 2007 at 8:43 pm #

    Glad your still with us Veleska…
    hope you recover well…
    jaime r….

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 April 2007 at 9:28 pm #

    I hope the ride is smoother for the rest of the trip Steve.

    Daniel W.

  31. avatar
    Melquiades | 23 April 2007 at 11:39 pm #

    Hold on there Steve. You’re voice is heard on many levels and in many places. You’re a constellation in the sweet Summer night. Your hand on Antares your Fender points to the northern lights.

  32. avatar
    Melquiades | 23 April 2007 at 11:47 pm #

    fantasticandy, noticed the poster of The Cult, Ceremony. mmmmm, loved that band, esp. the album Love. Brother Wolf, Sister Moon……..your time has come……

  33. avatar
    Melquiades | 23 April 2007 at 11:48 pm #

    glad to hear you’re doing well Miss V.

  34. avatar
    Melquiades | 24 April 2007 at 12:12 am #

    Some forms of De Ja Vu are welcome others are just bad flashbacks. I’ve stumbled once again on to a bard who wreaks of fruit~~!”

    I once took a creative writing course at a local college. It was filled with people looking to satisfy their final credits to get their degree (should’ve heard their writingh) and to people who sought to enhance their potential (there were others in between). There was one person I remember to this day who – as an exercise – we had to critique another classmates writing form. The poem from this classmate I had the task of reading was trying to draw the metaphor between a peach and the womans nether regions (succulent, juicy…still haunts me to this day!). Now, I don’t know about you, but this seemed contrived, cliched and elementary. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring myself to write what I felt. I glossed and dodged. I went for structure.

  35. avatar
    don joe | 24 April 2007 at 7:53 am #

    That is one blog i do not envy you for. Man that whole scene sux.. i really get why u r saying is this to be the end. Well seeing your family will be a boone to your spirit.

    Rest well, flow smooth

    don joe

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