posted on December 27, 2008 at 7:59 pm

yawn
maybe i am keeping 50 people happy
how many was baudelaire keeping happy?
how many was vincent van go go keeping happy?
at least its 50 more than you ,mr anonymous
there are many ways to measure success and failure
money is one way
hey i made enough money to get here
and never work for the man
and all the ideas i work on are from my own head
i have dreampt up stuff to keep me going
i know you didnt really want an answer
but there you go
i realise your own frustrations cause you to lash out
at people you perceived as being “loved”
sometimes everyone feels like that
your complete lack of talent n your tiny penis have not helped
never mind
you now made the grade
bickering with a washed up rockers die-hard fans
such a hollow triumph
or did you feel good?
meanwhile in bondi
the washed up rocker has celebrated chrimbo too hard
yoga n swimming have been neglected
and lying around groaning is being pursued
i watch my 3 kids take ricky apart on a windy park
at the edge of the great ocean
but i am powerless to help him
as they ride, pummel and buck
eve is really going for it
and the baby runs around squealing in excitement
but im lying on a park bench half asleep
under a grey low sky
i wake up every now n then confused
to see my kids giving ricky a good razz
the kids are all tanned…n evie freckling
scarlet has a golden colour on her face
she truly is the most exquisite kid
she hurts her foot and i carry her
she gives me tiny little kisses
and whispers i love you dad
i say if you keep doing that
i’ll keep on carrying you…..
yes
i am proud of my daughters
they are bloody lovely
and unlike me
they get on well with everyone
any one of em
could be a prime minister
or an incredible actress
or a famous artist
or a really good friend
its like nature has corrected all the design errors in me
and got it right in them
less the hostility and bitterness that plagues me
my kids are loved and they know it
thats what i can do for my family
i dont come home drunk n violent
i dont slap their mother about
i dont gamble and play around
i’m there for em most of the time
i wasnt for elli n minna n thats a terrible thing
thats one benefit of being a washed up rocker
no day job
oh i’d take one if i could
yes
to try and get ahead i would
if there was a job i could do
but there isnt
and i’d ruin it for the others working there
so dont wish me on the work force
still
one has to do what one has to do
and i will
(whatever it takes at the time)
blah blah blah
how silly of me to explain myself
as if you dont already know
youd never dare to say these things to my face
because then i’d look you in the eye
and answer you
and you wouldnt like my answer
your advice to me
is like me advising bob dylan what to do
its null n void
itd be like me advising you about your investments
itd be like a herring in the northern sea
telling a panther what to do
a mangy one but a panther none the less
remaining in the ruins of ecstasy
grooving out his terminal buzz
and look
i thought maybe you would understand this
the whales are optional
eject the whales
when youre cruising down a shuddering highway
and your top is rolled down
and youre grooving
suddenly them whales start up
(first thing: are they actually whales?)
second thing : would you rather 20 minutes of silence?)
just eject it
you dont HAVE to listen to em
you got painkiller for 3 bucks
n berate me for it?
as if i fucking care how much you paid for it
i’m busy planning new stuff
im gonna have an exhibition
and every painting will have words n music attached
is that moving on?
i’m working on gb3
im working on k/k
we’re finishing the churchs new album
blah blah
you know it all
i fight the good fight
armed with my ideas
i am allowed a little destructive leeway
from my admirers
because i have created so much
but you…..?
cant you see what a fool you are?

41 Responses to “null n void”

  1. avatar
    Doug | 27 December 2008 at 9:32 pm #

    Funny old argument. Seemed that the point I was making may have got lost in the fight! So just in case it did and you didn’t notice the Shriek CD by THE CHURCH is available to buy now! SK do you even know this? Go here and get it:
    http://www.jeffvandermeer.com/2008/12/16/shriek-limited-with-church-cd/

    For what its worth I don’t think Painkiller sounds anything like OSAH! Very amusing comparison! I wouldn’t worry about it. Just look forward to Shriek and whatever comes next!
    Doug

  2. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 27 December 2008 at 9:34 pm #

    uh oh – the kilbey comments have gone fucked again

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 December 2008 at 9:38 pm #

    id like to personally thank you for the whale sounds,steve!beas the hell outta my old practises of driving my convertible into the sea,with the sonar gear!;Dxo

  4. avatar
    eek | 27 December 2008 at 9:39 pm #

    my kids are loved and they know it
    thats what i can do for my family

    Quoted for truth.

    Of all the things parents can offer their children, I think this is the most important. The love you have for your children has always stood out for me. That's why I think of you as a good father — it's not that you are perfect, it's that despite your failings your deep and expressed love for your children is obvious. They can't help but know they are dearly loved. And I think E & M know it too, despite a more rocky relationship. You are making the effort and I believe they know and appreciate that.

    the whales are optional

    just eject it
    you dont HAVE to listen to em

    We don’t? Well crap! And here I was thinking my hand would catch fire and fall off if I dared touch the stop or eject buttons before Painkiller had completely finished. Whew! I’m so glad I know this now!

    In the future, however, you need to spell out for us that we can hit the fast forward or eject buttons without fear of bodily injury. I mean, really, how are we to know that without you telling us?

    im gonna have an exhibition
    and every painting will have words n music attached

    A bit later today (I hope) I will put some links in the comments to the gallery where this will be held, so those interested can stay informed. I’m very excited about this exhibition — it should be very cool.

    meanwhile in bondi
    the washed up rocker has celebrated chrimbo too hard

    lol! Hey everyone needs to celebrate too hard every once in a while!

  5. avatar
    eek | 27 December 2008 at 9:42 pm #

    I have the Shriek cd — it arrived a few days ago. I’ve only listened to it once so far, but I quite like it. I think it’s worth having. 🙂

  6. avatar
    the dean | 27 December 2008 at 9:52 pm #

    no one in australia drives a convertible except maybe a few clowns living in the land of doof or the gold coast.

    bring on thechurch,thekilbey,the painkiller,thepaintings – etch out(eek’s taken) out a living uncompromised.

  7. avatar
    Freddie | 27 December 2008 at 10:31 pm #

    Rah! Rah!
    Awesome comeback Steve! 🙂
    Scarlet sounds like a lil’ angel.
    Doesn’t it just melt ya when they do that?
    Lots of love from,
    Freddie of the Fabulous Fifty

  8. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 27 December 2008 at 10:31 pm #

    well said, sir!
    and as for your little ones, you’re doing a marvellous job with them, there’s no such thing as perfect parents, just guys like us who are trying to do the best we can and that’s pretty well good enough….
    not a good feeling coming down from a big night…eurgh, my sympathies, mate….
    can’t WAIT to get my hands on some new music, goody!
    love always….

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 December 2008 at 11:18 pm #

    Keep fighting the good fight Steve.. an artist’s journey will never be understood or respected by the ignorant (I think that loser just had his 20 mins of fame).. keep making the great music and art – there’s a lot (LOT) more than 50 people out there who love the work of SK!

  10. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 27 December 2008 at 11:26 pm #

    i just read yesterday’s anonymous comment at 5:52pm, how dare you say those words to my esskay, soon you will eat those words and find yourself without ‘a’ voice…
    The Darkest Star

  11. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 December 2008 at 11:34 pm #

    there’s a lot more than 50 of us out here who love you. just keep being who you are. nevermind anybody else.

    “its like nature has corrected all the design errors in me
    and got it right in them”
    what a beautiful way to think of your children. you’re a great father, steve. nobody’s perfect, but we all do the best we can, especially where parenting is concerned. it’s the hardest job in the world, but the best one. 🙂

    have a good afternoon.

    lotza love…..

  12. avatar
    steve kilbey | 27 December 2008 at 11:40 pm #

    thanks for the faith!
    sk
    and do try n get shriek
    theres some really good stuff on there!

  13. avatar
    W street | 27 December 2008 at 11:41 pm #

    Painkiller is in the mail, they tell me. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to give it a listen. No, I won’t download it. I insist on getting the new stuff via post and then enjoying it that way. Tired old Mp3s ripped at 192KBps are nothing I care to listen to. I suppose one could get doof-doof-doofy rap rap or some such that way because audio quality means nothing, but ugh. Who wants it?

    Deep in the Shallows arrived–disc one is a marvel. An absolute marvel. Crank the bass UP and listen to the sound of something amazing. Yep, the old olde olldde tracks but remastered and sounding crispier and bassier.

    The olde shoegazers must have mainlined Too Fast For You into their veins because I can hear that bass line, again and again, droning straight through the floorboards in the vehicle. The whole car shook today, with all of those songs, the bass drone being as good twenty-plus-on as I know the painkiller is going to be.

    That drone is magic, and it doesn’t matter what song, what era, what track–the drone is musicality and genius, and it should be illuminated and praised, and enjoyed, publicly or secretly.

    I fucking love that drone.

  14. avatar
    ross b | 27 December 2008 at 11:42 pm #

    I’ve always loved your work Steve, and it’s always made me very happy.

    Glad to hear you’re enjoying a freeing Bondi Xmas!!

    Cheers, Ross

  15. avatar
    fantasticandy | 28 December 2008 at 12:12 am #

    and the comments are still stacking-up on yesterdays blog!
    shriek is on the way along with the new year…..
    youv’e got that exhibition to prepare….iv’e got 32 new tracks to mix and master…..
    it’s gonna be a busy one!!!!!!!!

    someone out there is very, very studious when it comes to the art of hurt,
    i find it deeply saddening that so much dilligence should be employed in such a negative and twisted fashion.
    i too have been the recipient of this kind of thing in the past.
    i watched the protagonist(whose motives i have never even understood)slowly dwindle and die, seemingly consumed by his own hatred and spite.
    whoever you are….please…don’t choose the same path, you have talents that can be better employed.
    cheers feindss!
    andy L.

  16. avatar
    Celticat | 28 December 2008 at 12:28 am #

    Mr Ricky

    I’m with you on that one. Someone had to say it – glad it was you. Karma’s a wonderful thing and he/she/it will get it in the end.

    Steve, all the bullshit aside, I’m 47 and I’ve loved growing up with your music and hope to for the rest of my life.

    Love to you, your family, all friendss and anon as well.

    Celticat

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2008 at 1:08 am #

    is buying the book the only way to purchase shriek cd soundtrack?
    already own that book fortunately.

    r.

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2008 at 1:34 am #

    BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU. DON”T MAKE A POST THAT DOES NOT KISS THE ASS OF YE OLDE HERO KILBEY OR QUESTIONS THE GUITAR VERACITY OF YE OLDE SIDEKICK MAYMI OR POST WILL BE DELETED. CARRY ON!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2008 at 1:38 am #

    Now that you are deleting my posts I am going to stay on the job full time until you turn off anonymous commentors. The nazis wanted to quiet the jews and now you are doing the same to me. You are not a nazi are you kilbey?

  20. avatar
    steve kilbey | 28 December 2008 at 1:41 am #

    no
    its just that
    we are all bored with you
    the nazi comparison is specious
    you are a sad nothing

  21. avatar
    Warren Street | 28 December 2008 at 2:29 am #

    Ah, now that’s the studied, learned hate of someone with *zero* fucking talent but the everlasting need to drain inspiration and genius and good vibes from others to stuff into the miserable hole through their rotten soul…

  22. avatar
    eek | 28 December 2008 at 2:40 am #

    On the plus side there are lots of comments when idiot boy gets on a roll. lol

  23. avatar
    lily was here | 28 December 2008 at 3:45 am #

    I think everyone should drive around topless playing whale sounds at full volume 🙂

    xxx

  24. avatar
    Warren Street | 28 December 2008 at 4:17 am #

    Ho, this pitiable little virus is not even worth examination.

    You’ve attacked me because I’m 41 years old? A hint it is best to drop on silly olde you–no one tells the truth when setting up the Gmail unless one is going to have a happy fun time blogge with no troll fights.

    This little hate cretin learned hate from the staring at the screen, from being rejected and worthless, from learning to hate inspiration and beauty while appreciating none.

    Well adjusted creative types that have mean streaks go about their snarking and whatnot with a little more glee. Ya can’t see the glee from this one?

    Nope, all you can see is a smarty-pants mask that hides an empty shell. Think of a bug that molted, left something behind. Our troll has been living in that shell, learning to hate with lotso food at the ready, probably approaching 300 lbs and seething through a broken tooth.

    Ha! What good fun. What hilarity. Someone else’s real estate is where you want to make a mark? Your mark isn’t made. It’s a stain, really. Best to be scrubbed away.

  25. avatar
    sanfoin | 28 December 2008 at 5:18 am #

    Steve, take heart from your many true friends and fans. Illegitimi non carborundum. . .

    “Washed up rocker”? Maybe unwashed, and probably unkempt, but definitely not washed up. You’ve easily got 50 more years of space rock in you. . .

    starting with the K/K project, I hope. . . looking forward to more of that lovely stuff.

  26. avatar
    A.M. | 28 December 2008 at 5:38 am #

    “because then i’d look you in the eye and answer you “

    A real answer is what instigators fear, but they fear an answer, I think, less than they do silence.

    Sorry to say, when the comments turn derisive, I find myself not poppin’ in. What is there to quarrel over? Your choices, your blog? I’m here because I’m interested whether I agree or disagree. I’m here because you give everything you got, because you risk it all, keep risking it, and are willing to be vulnerable.

    Shit, man, I’m here, more than anything, because you’re willing…

    I put the elipses in there so one can interpret that word, willing, for its deeper, underlying, open-ended spiritual meaning.

    Wish more of us were willing. But that’s part of it, for me, as far as what I find and get from your blog and music and art–your willingness to engage. And in doing so, I truly believe you are contributing to and calling forth all the other spirits and souls on this earth who are willing.

    Nothing else but those kisses, your beautiful daughters, and wife and family, and your practice and the love you shine on ’em, yeah, matters.

    So what’s there for any of us to criticize? What else can you give? Certainly not a million interpretations of who you are; everyone’s expectation of who or what you should be. All you got is who you are and your understanding, which I should think, is and should be enough for the rest of us. It’s more than most people ever come close to giving.

    I’m rambling. I know.

  27. avatar
    davem | 28 December 2008 at 7:45 am #

    Nice one SK.
    Keep weaving your magic.
    x

  28. avatar
    captain mission | 28 December 2008 at 11:14 am #

    i must say steve, as i read your reply’s i found myself smiling and i realized my faith in you has never really been misdirected and i hope you don’t mind me sharing something with your readers.
    there’s a lot of love in the kilbey household.
    that’s the only real measure of success as far as i am aware.
    so anon please begone.

    ricki- i seen you play twice with painkiller and both times were the best gigs i have ever seen. i don’t know if that really means anything in the great scheme of things but i for one appreciate your talents and style.
    and i’m looking forwards to more.
    best wishes for the new years dude.

  29. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 28 December 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    ..had to sign on again, had the daggiest, most fum afternoon with my seven year old daughter…went and saw madagascar 2 and was about the only adult who jad a good belly laugh at the humour and then i bought abba gold (the best of abba) because she’s really into abba and we spent the afternoon bellowing along to such priceless tracks as dancing queen…jesus, try and figure that one out…
    man, you make a helluva lot of people happy out there, me included…
    ok, i’ll piss off now…
    more love always…

  30. avatar
    Jasperina | 28 December 2008 at 12:38 pm #

    Creating, making, writing…it has got to be the best way to pass the time whether we get paid for it or not. Getting on with it too. We all suffer the same human condition…boredom can be destructive. Creativity rules.

  31. avatar
    steve | 28 December 2008 at 12:53 pm #

    Steve keep all the creative energy coming you are better than ever. All the best in the new year…new Church and Painkiller 2 yay!!!You don’t need to explain yourself for anyone..

  32. avatar
    matthew | 28 December 2008 at 1:10 pm #

    Fantasticandy, it’s been so cool reading your measured, intelligent responses during this little “controversy”… thanks for that…

    SK: “its just that we are all bored with you” – a hearty amen to that! Oh, and I’ve just started watching the Xmas Painkiller footage on YouToob… KICKING myself I couldn’t be there, bloody brilliant sound even in internet format. Cheers.

  33. avatar
    matthew | 28 December 2008 at 2:17 pm #

    Eek, you’re a darling… always appreciate your comments.

  34. avatar
    Freddie | 28 December 2008 at 2:22 pm #

    Yeah, many more than fifty,
    more like a hardy horde
    a hungry hardy horde
    I’m going to check out Shriek.

  35. avatar
    Matt Davyddson | 28 December 2008 at 3:16 pm #

    Just bought a ute. It’s awesome!

  36. avatar
    restaurant mark | 28 December 2008 at 4:03 pm #

    i like lily’s idea myself! i don’t really have any energy to waste on the little anon today. but it does blow my mind at how much time they spend here…not for love of music or art or words or community or even steve. there seems to be a loathing for most of those things, most of the time…at least that what he lets out here anyway. all i can gather is the anon just simply likes to be the pinecone in our collective asses.
    weird…

    take care everyone
    mark

    ps-don’t hold back next time ricky…tell the anon how you really feel! ; )
    and by the way…i’ve listened to and own a lot of bjm…seen you live a couple of times and chatted back and forth on myspace with you. not only do you seem a nice fella, you are definately a better than average guitar player…quite good, i think.
    take care

  37. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 28 December 2008 at 7:36 pm #

    2008 has been a great musical year for my favorite geezers’ 2008 CDs.

    SK= Best progressive rock CD.
    MACCA= Best Psychedlic CD
    J. Beck=Best Instrumental CD.
    Pretenders= Best vocal CD.

  38. avatar
    verdelay | 28 December 2008 at 8:24 pm #

    So…our attention-seeking wannabe turns up again spouting his predictable bile’n’bilge and sort of gets what he wants this time around – attention.

    A shame then that it’s the kind of attention usually reserved for stroppy children having a very public tantrum.

    Initial irritation at all the self-centred noise and snotty excretions soon gives way to head shaking pity. Like the screaming toddler, the posts of our dear anonymous seem to me to be the frustrated outpourings of an individual who clearly lacks the means to express themselves in a constructive manner. I for one feel sorry for him. I realise that sounds a touch sanctimonious, but he did actually insult me in this forum once (by making a rather laughable and ill-informed comment on my profession. Ironic in a way that I devote so much time and energy trying to help people like him. But such is life).

    Anyway, for that insult and for the other snotty gobs he has spat out at our man Kilbey and his fine, fine fans and friends, I hereby retort with an arrogant little chuckle at his childish impotence. And I’ll throw in a little shake of the head for good measure.

    But I wish him well – I do hope that he is capable of making a much more intelligent, positive and fruitful contribution to our culture than the ‘bad vibe’ rants he has offered up to us here in this little forum of otherwise like-minded art lovers. Good luck, mate. All the best to you. Now please leave us in peace and allow us to turn our thoughts to better things.

    v

    P.S. I am a week into Painkiller. It seems to me vibrant and alive, melodic and ferocious in turns. In short, a triumph.

  39. avatar
    m.p.k. | 28 December 2008 at 9:24 pm #

    I ordered the special edition Shriek book with the Church cd included. Thanks for turning me on to Vandermeer! I only went to the movie because you guys were going to be there (this was in SF back in August 2006). Shriek is one the strangest and most intriguing books I’ve ever read. The Church soundtrack I’ve heard so far as part of the movie is really cool. There is one part where the guitar just hits me and gave me the chills. I’ve gotten into authors Catherynne Valente and KJ Bishop now as they are sort of cut from the same cloth as Vandermeer. I always enjoyed fantasy but had gotten tired of the formula but they’ve reinvented it.

  40. avatar
    m.p.k. | 28 December 2008 at 9:41 pm #

    …………*./ | .. .*
    …………..*♫*.
    ………, • ‘*♥* ‘ • ,
    ……. ‘*• ♫♫♫•*’
    ….. ‘ *, • ‘♫ ‘ • ,* ‘
    … .’ * • ♫*♥*♫• * ‘
    … * , • Merry’ • , * ‘
    …* ‘ •♫♫*♥*♫♫ • ‘ * ‘
    ‘ * ‘ • Christmas . • ‘ * ‘ ‘
    ‘ ‘ * • ♫♫♫*♥*♫♫♫• * ‘ ‘
    ………… x♥x
    ………… ♥

  41. avatar
    A.M. | 30 December 2008 at 8:50 pm #

    “A shame then that it’s the kind of attention usually reserved for stroppy children having a very public tantrum. ”

    Precisely, Verdelay. Good point!


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