posted on May 17, 2011 at 4:49 pm

the crooked sky

i come down hard

i crash through into next day and it burns

a fugitive from reality i tried to escape

but reality tracked me down

its parked outside my house in a big black car

its bugging my muse

it tries to bribe me in subtle ways to adhere to it

but i came unstuck as a child in the hive

and some clueless anger ate me alive

and a sense of dread gnawed on my days

and i read what some dead magnificent poet once wrote

and i heard what some magnificent dead singer once sang

and as i plotted and planned my escape

in terms of reality my thinking was becoming outside of it

and using all the same tricks of other would be escapees

but probably more and probably more often

i ascended descended and went sideways in a flash

i communicated with nature

i was absolutely cut off and frozen

i sat in satori at the edge of a rippling lake

i tramped up and down the aisles of purgatory

i wanted a vision

i wanted a dream so vivid that i could park it in a garden like a caravan

a door into another world a door like music or sex or drugs

a door like having a fever a door like almost losing your life

the doors are all there but who wants to go through them

and them that do what do they bring back?

so few of them tell me what i am so anxious to know…..

almost everything seems like its not meant for me

some impossible boredom numbs me at the very first word

i cannot concentrate on a simple instruction

but my reveries are peopled and filled with rich detail

i feel like i belong somewhere else

but i cant tell if everyone feels like that

1967 was an exciting year

it seemed to me that reality might in fact be ruptured or cracked

something was afoot i guess but i was only a kid

i knew that before that someone somewhere had turned off the good times

i knew theres gotta be more than i was getting

nobody i knew could understand me

it seemed there was a revolution coming

the summer of love? oh i wanted to be there

in london hanging out in a club in soho

smoking hashish and a threesome with some german girls

their long blonde hair hung down their white backs

man we were eating strange mushrooms and having a groovy scene

it seemed so obvious to me a twelve year old uber-virgin

that had never been fucked or fought in a war

that we could just replace combat with incredible orgies

like in those old greek days in groves and in glades

bring on those voluptuous nymphs

and get rid of all the generals and tanks

i imagined myself cavorting in the moonlight

(probably with my undies on i was really still quite shy)

the summer of love

a love-in in this time of love moves me

playing guitar and flushed with cash

combining young heroes from film and fiction

dressed in the vogue and fashionably thin

but i was a freckly boy in his first year of high school

stupid in most things except for greek myths

and the lives of popstars who were rising and falling

the myths and the stardoms  seemed intertwined

they all seemed like extraordinary people

beautiful brilliant and tragically doomed

yeah thats the world i wanted to be in

theres been some mistake this isnt me

inside i’m sure i’m somebody else somebody more

i’m always disappointed to see that its only still me

i ran from myself but i always caught up

i avoided myself but we always collided

i hated myself so i loved myself more

i was so awfully real such an ordinary boy

not one girl had never looked at me ever

i was a poet yet to write a word

i was yet to take shape in my cocoon of childhood

i was unable the breakthrough to a deep sublime well

anyway now

what seems like a million days later

and my play probably nearing the end of its run

half in and half out of this current version of  life

saner than ever and mad as any raving hatter or march hare

i sit and i write whatever comes into my head

i walk round this world a bull in a china shop

a teacup in a storm, a babe in the woods

averting disaster only by luck

the bravado of fools who dont know any better

still i yearn and i burn and i yearn some more

for this other dimension of meaning and pleasure

ive stumbled in and out of it from time to time

doesnt matter what the zeitgeist says

it is possible to get out of this world

and still come back a bit unscathed

course the price you pay is in time and in money

course the price you pay is in madness and in turmoil

or you can do yoga and the price is still high

in dedication and in discipline and in determination

sometimes madness and turmoil seem quicker i guess

the search for a groovy enlightenment sure takes it toll

in your body and face and worse in your soul

you meet lots of devils and poor martyred angels

how can this not affect the 12 year old boy within?

that boy is my connection to my muse

i must not blow his mind tho i have once or twice

that childlike wonder must not be extinguished

in tv in society in nights at the pub

its lonely being a lunatic its lonely being an ugly duckling

almost certain that you’d never be a swan

but every creature on earth has its burdens

mine seem so trivial

the luxury of these times

actually i dont remember what i came in for

i guess i’ll catch ya later

when i have more to say

 

 

 

37 Responses to “obviously hidden”

  1. Kraig
    Kraig | 17 May 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    What’s the old saying “We’re here for a reason!”…I beeelieve that is somewhat true, or rather “we are here for treason” haha…maybe we did something bad in the past life or even some good? Who knows? Maybe we are here to upgrade like an iPod or the latest software. In anycase, we are all here and we stay here until the next version upgrade. Until then…happy travels!

  2. avatar
    captain mission | 17 May 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    ‘its lonely being a lunatic its lonely being an ugly duckling

    almost certain that you’d never be a swan

    but every creature on earth has its burdens

    mine seem so trivial’

    it’s hard not to feel affinity with these words, and it’s harder to gaze into the abyss without it gazing into you. i often think about my innocence, that child. it was beaten out by brutal london days and corrupted by berlin nights, but on evenings like these, when the moon looms full and bright i feel all that knowledge and experience dissipate with the overwhelming emersion of the universe and its many wonders that inherantly makes us all equal.

  3. avatar
    Karen | 17 May 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    I got lost in the 12 yr old boys world loved it..keep the kid inside alive for sure 😀 have to

    I always wanted to go to woodstock..
    I was even younger in 1967 3 years old
    ahh well I probably would have taken a bad trip or something and not enjoyed my self…knowing my luck

  4. avatar
    Ingrid | 17 May 2011 at 9:06 pm #

    Hi SK, Great shot with those commets behind you. I think one is Mercury isn’t it. I really enjoyed this poem today. Was feeling down and hadn’t looked on here for a while as busy with uni and work (those assignments don’t give you time for much else). Was also pleased to read about your tour with Ricki Maymi – Good stuff.

    I had a laugh with that line “or you can do yoga and the price is still high”. Reminds me of my exercising (which I have been neglecting lately), I know when I go tomorrow its going to be hard.

    Take care

  5. avatar
    Ingrid | 17 May 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    PS I just also saw that you were playing with GB3 also on 10 June 2011, as it says one off show I don’t suppose they’ll be a Sydney show (I wish). Its such a beauiful album Damage / Controlled.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 May 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    … FRICKEN awesome
    “a fugitive from reality i tried to escape
    but reality tracked me down
    its parked outside my house in a big black car
    its bugging my muse”

    A lovely Quatrain in itself…..

  7. avatar
    andy | 17 May 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    so taken aback by this one…..can’t honestly think of HOW to comment!
    …..but i wanted you to know i loved it.

  8. avatar
    eternallylit | 17 May 2011 at 11:23 pm #

    you are here so am i – baby all of the stars in the sky

  9. avatar
    Narelle | 18 May 2011 at 12:00 am #

    according to Joel Selvin, author of The Summer of Love….’the Summer of Love never really happened’…then there’s the media’s version…and every other version…the good and the not so good

  10. avatar
    Lara | 18 May 2011 at 12:24 am #

    Nice, SK. A certain psychoanalyst once said that what desire most wants is to keep desiring. I think I have to agree.

  11. avatar
    DavidP | 18 May 2011 at 1:08 am #

    it is blogs like this is why I started posting on here
    and maybe why I found my way here in the first place
    and there is a lot I could say in response
    but I guess I have already said a lot of it over the last 11 months or so
    and its all in those books I gave you anyway
    worth pushing past any initial impossible boredom to read them
    that is only a temporary obstacle if you truly yearn and burn to learn
    I think you have a golden opportunity in this life right now
    dont give in to defeatism
    the program of nature does not want to let us go
    to awaken is to rebel against our ego-ic nature to transcend it
    the program of the 7 deadlies, lust the foundation of them all
    cut from the root, make a complete change, eliminate them
    can we justify the neglect to our Being when we look into eternity?
    to the battle! rise up and fight! the battle takes place moment to moment
    they say the difference between an unawakened essence and an awakened being
    is like that between an ant and a giant

  12. avatar
    Boriah | 18 May 2011 at 2:42 am #

    “Don’t feed the fire in here
    Don’t tell a soul
    This uniform and war
    Well it’s all been done before
    I’m nervous playing someone else’s role”

    One of my fav songs, you should include it in your setlist. Still, I bet you played everything on this song.

    Regards

  13. avatar
    SecondSightMusic | 18 May 2011 at 2:58 am #

    “but every creature on earth has its burdens” = a really good thing to remember when were feeling down or not happy with our lot in life. Really good post, I found myself relating to a lot of what you said. Thx!

  14. avatar
    davem | 18 May 2011 at 8:21 am #

    Well, we’ve still got the generals and tanks.
    But your stuff makes a difference to lots of us. You open doors for us and give us glimpses of something else….
    Bless ya guv.

  15. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 May 2011 at 8:40 am #

    obviously superb!!

    **sigh**

  16. avatar
    Tanya | 18 May 2011 at 9:26 am #

    ‘I feel like I belong somewhere else.” Moi Aussi

  17. avatar
    Ess | 18 May 2011 at 10:11 am #

    When yearning is gone, and stillness prevails, what is revealed in its place.

  18. avatar
    Cocoamo | 18 May 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    We know we’re in the wrong place – the stork veered off course, we think. Should have been delivered to the planet where the people are kind, considerate, and don’t eat meat or torture animals in medical experiments.

    The fact that you’re here creating such food for the soul makes it tolerable, though. We haven’t thanked you lately, have we?

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania
    (Still in Cocoa Beach with the love bugs)

  19. avatar
    Donna | 18 May 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    Intense! Loved it!

  20. avatar
    hellbound heart | 18 May 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    very very very enjoyable….thankyou for enriching my day…..
    love always…….

  21. avatar
    Steven Krut | 18 May 2011 at 10:25 pm #

    So your whole adult life in a way has been an attempt to experience the summer of love. I was only six in ’67. My memory of it is limited to all the characters on TV shows wearing much brighter colors. The Buddha would say just open your eyes to the summer of love all around you. 🙂

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 20 May 2011 at 1:59 pm #

      besides… it’s still there. you just have to go sit with them on Hippy Hill!

  22. avatar
    bionicanna | 19 May 2011 at 8:22 am #

    i feel stronger every time i read that, like it’s speaking to something dormant.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 May 2011 at 9:59 am #

    The daughter of “The Donald” is having a baby girl. Ivanka, 29, revealed that she’s due on July 14 and that she’s been craving lots of Itailian meat.

  24. avatar
    jaime r.. | 19 May 2011 at 4:21 pm #

    I know this story of a man who went thru the woods in India in search of a great master and on his way he met a great Sannyasin.. he was in lotus, in meditation when he saw the traveler and asked him of his intention.. the traveler told him of his journey and was asked to give any advice for the Sannyasin.. the traveler agreed and proceeded until he met another character down the road.. He was disheveled and was dancing around a huge tree without any care in the world.. he also inquired, where are you off to? the same intention and request was given.. I’d love some advice they all said. Upon his return, the Sannyasin was covered in a wasp nest that had formed around him. The Sannyasin bellowed, “So what have you found out on my account?” the traveler said “you have two more years to attain enlightenment” to which the sannyasin dropped his head in suffering agony. “thats so long away”.. the traveler then left and walked on along to find the disheveled worshiper to which he also asked, “Well what did the wise men say..? the traveler says ” you have until the last leaf on this mighty oak tree drops!” the man exclaims, thats it!! I shall reach my Lord soon enough!!! the traveler was befuddled, and right then.. the spirit gave unto the acknowledgment.. the man reached enlightenment right then and there..

  25. avatar
    Linjo | 19 May 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    The times I can sit still and process your stuff Steve, you blow my mind with your perception. You were bound to artistry and addiction. Thank god you came out the other side. I get obsessed with one song for a week or so. Today it’s Wide Open Road. You bring me back to the 80s with a passion. Linda x Though obviously you are a timeless male.

  26. avatar
    aida morgan | 20 May 2011 at 4:36 am #

    Much wisdom in this one. One you lose that childlike wonder, that desire to explore more about the world around you, that’s when you grow old, that’s when you’re merely existing, not living. Thanks for the reminder 🙂

  27. avatar
    eekie | 20 May 2011 at 6:41 am #

    “its lonely being a lunatic its lonely being an ugly duckling
    almost certain that you’d never be a swan”

    Aww…I think you’re a swan, sweetie.

    Granted it’s a swan which contains a 12-year-old boy and substantial lunatic bits…. But, hey, what fun swan doesn’t?

    Still, I’m not quite ready for you in tutu and tights… 😉

    • avatar
      belfrank | 20 May 2011 at 1:09 pm #

      SK – your blog has got it’s mojo back in spades – a joy to read these days. Makes me proud to count you as a friend. As do many other things. Funny you mention a club in Soho. I do believe the first time we met was in a club very close to Soho – but not the kind of club you refer to in the blog I bet.
      Ultimately in this life, everything worthwhile has to be worked hard for. Be that to attain it or to simply hold on to it. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I’m glad you are a man of perseverance in your art and in your life.

  28. avatar
    Crasher | 20 May 2011 at 5:07 pm #

    I was a far less mature 12 yo in ’67 than you.. the year before High School.
    I remember pinching the odd copy of my Dad’s “Man” magazine or “Adam”.
    Pretty tame these days, but still managed to mess up the sheets.
    Mum never ever said a single word…sjgh.
    In 1976 I was in Deutschland…those Frauliens..Donna und blitzen!
    Actually her name was Anke…oh and Claudia…and..

  29. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen | 20 May 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    Childlike wonder. I hope to be able to hold on to it ’til the day I die.

  30. avatar
    . | 20 May 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    i listened to “all is one” lately
    i found myself off planet, flying somewhere in the void
    camera flash memories taunt me like a comet that no longer cares
    it’d be happy enough to just stop their search of the cosmos
    for that one answer that continues to elude them
    it’s always another lightyear or lifetime away
    cold ice trails, the remnants of their recoiled souls
    human limitations, the starry starvation we’ll never overcome
    the grand design to our human suffering on this planet
    “spirit come back…” fill my cup
    life could be so much worse, I tell myself
    so true, so true, and yet it still hurts

  31. avatar
    Even | 26 May 2011 at 2:04 am #

    Oh man, that sounded suspiciously like how I feel on about the second or third day coming off dope. When I can cry watching an AT&T commercial, when the nostalgia gets so intense, it takes over and I literally would give my life for a time machine, just to live one day of my choosing in the past. And it would be just as I hoped it would be and I would be filled up and complete and not a fucking shell crying at TV commercials. That’s just me of course and it was beautifully done-I have never had that happen before so intensely. Thanks for that.


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