posted on December 27, 2009 at 7:00 am

maybe all you are is your memories
said kilbey
to himselves
somewhere in the gold futures
somewhere in the silver pasts
because thats all you think about
he/they/you laugh
ha ha ha
and life is then unbearably random
and we all have to die
and life then is randomly unbearable
and all we have to do is die
youre in australia now son
have you ever been here before ?
yes i have but i remain in a tiny little part
called new south wales
well its very very beautiful in new south wales
this is the backdrop for all those adventures
all those beaches
all those trees
all those nights
all those conversations
all those arguments
all those drugs
all those orgasms and organisms
all those shots and shoots
all those songs and wrongs
my blog must be a form of self analysis
i’m glad its christmas n theres no one reading
i can pretend i’m on my own
and i can say the things to myselves
these things that churn through my minds
the way obsessions focus my thought till it burns thru black paper
and my callous and unforgiving virgo sides
and now i discover
as previously reported
my memories are all ……….um………
gee i forgot what i was trying to say
my pest n nuisance must not have access to computer this xmas
because no insults for a few days
if youve never been to australia
you would just love sydney
younger than new york
cleaner than london
sexier than atlantis
more flesh n drugs than babylon
more wicked than nineveh
sydney raped me shaped me escaped me
i sit here in the town of n. bondi
a stones throw from the great cliffs and the heads
the tourists are up the other end
the swedes
the poms
the irish
the israelis
that would be my reckoning
i can fuckin pick a swede a mile off
its their body language and their posture
ditto poms n irish esp. the backpacker types
but some of the backpacker types are quite…..
a bit cro-magnon or something
only cro-magnon didnt consume gallons of beer
and walk down hall street bashing on garbage bins
the israeli guys always got these black curly mops
held back by these kinda girly headbands
they often are very darkly handsome n have an air of arrogance
a lot of our american visitors are the ancient couple
with the cameras and the loud voices
ditto the japanese only more cameras
and more intrusive with them
theres people searching your bags for alcohol
and a very amusing sign warning no booze on beach
so fuck it
the b-packers get sloshed then go down the beach
where they need rescuing
when they figure out
this aint fucking brighton
and the waves are a lot bigger up close
than from the shore
and some geezer got bitten by a shark up the coast
and even when its overcast the sun still burns
i see poms n irish frying every year
its an awful sight
of course the israelis n swedes seem to magically have suntans
rich italians too sometimes appear on our beach
our great australian icon
people in the steamy city dream of it
bondi beach
need a surfboard?
need a fucking cold beer?
need some bikinis n board shorts
need a fancy hairdresser or three
need a convenience shop or four
need the nirvana beach liquor store
need sunday markets n evening markets
need a million pizzas n ice creams
need a million cafes serving up loathsome eggsnbacon
need doof doof doof
need the quiet back streets of n bondi suburbia heaven
need the frangipanis
need the bottlebrush
need the parrots
need the near silence on days like these
on days like these
amazing parties you n i will never get invited to
amazing gracious hostesses greet you
with fishbowls full of white sugar powder
and dressed as spirits as a theme
and you must be in vaucluse
but the clouds swing down reminding the reader of new guinea
in the amazing party
where you meet amazing people
people who do the most cool things
and the music gently emits
tick tick tick
the guitars agitate gently in a swampy sea of synths
tiny bells
a wah wah chuck a chuck a chuck
the sun finally pops out at the end of the stormy day
like a surprise ending to movie you fell asleep watching
the blue australian summer sky appears
just before it has to go to bed
the mozzies are in the wings itching to bite
and the backpackers are back in the hostels
with their back packs n lager n cigarettes
and their brief furtive summer romances
sean from dublin
shazza from birmingham
and the swedes stay at some boutique hotel
and the israelis stay with their cousins n uncles
and they all come back out into the bondi night
suddenly as a plague of tablewaiters appears on campbell parade
and the rich n the poor mingle freely
the suntanned n pale n burnt livid celtics
and the moslems n christians n ones like most of em
who dont believe in nuthin’
and the handsome youths with their swaggering gait
and the ugly old coots with their staggering stumble
and botox meat that looks like trout
and the local russians with their bear tatoos
and the chemists that sell australias thinnest condom
and the sunglasses stalls
and its warm baby its warm
we got no cultchure but we got warm weather
by the bucket load
imagine no shirt no shoes no cloves if you want
we smoke dope
we drink bubble teas
we body surf
we goof off
we lug slabs up the street
we throw amazing n not so amazing parties
we get out of it
we get into it
we having a fucking relaxed old time
down here in this tourist mecca
this lovely little beach enclosed by two cliffs
with its pavillion where youll be swatting at the flies
and theyre got holiday doof doof doof
like always
listen says evie from a kilometre away
its the black eyed peas daddy
see ya round then

27 Responses to “oceanian era”

  1. avatar
    EDD | 27 December 2009 at 8:29 am #

    I got sick for Christmas and it feels as though the holiday passed me by. Just before Christmas got some brand new bills that have left me, well not broke but gonna be able to get by, and seem to have set the tone for the new year. I've got my beautiful family though. I've lived in tourist traps before as well but I always seemed to carve out my own in those unwavering influx of temporary residents that flow through for a summer. Bondi Beach still sounds nice. Walking down to a nice beach despite the tourist goings on? I'd take it. Hell, even the Gulf of Mexico down Corpus Cristi way was alright. Northwest beaches are cold and not much fun to me. Let's go to the coast someone says. For what I say.

  2. avatar
    cazziem | 27 December 2009 at 12:24 pm #

    Take out the place names and at different times of the year, this could be any tourist haven don't you think? I so hate being a tourist. When I go on holiday I'm not interested in the over priced tours and company reps who paste on a smile cos it's part of their job. I want to meet REAL people, dine where the locals dine and explore. Whilst many people I know tootle off to Spain year in year out, cos it cheap, or at least it was until the latest recession, it's a country I've never been to cos there's too many Brits there. I long to visit Egypt, though not sure why, but I've been told that there's even a McDonalds across the road from the pyramids! So you go take in this awesome sight, do a hundred and eighty degree turn and, you're back in the world of fast food, fast cars and I'd just want to fast forward the hell out of there.

    Had a beach break myself recently, in fact it was yesterday! It was grey, it was damp, it was very cold and windy, but I enjoyed my walk along the beach without the noise of screaming kids, without the hustle and bustle of ‘tourists', then I sat and absorbed all the beautiful sounds of the sea, and the accompanying wind whilst the stress and loneliness that drew me there in the first place was washed away with the outgoing tide. I licked the salt from my lips then got back in my car and sang with the chrunch all the way home. Quickest holiday ever, but it was just what I needed.

    Ironic that you, or rather Evie mentioned the black eyed peas, cos one of their most thought provoking songs and my personal fav is ‘where it the love’. Here's the link and it’s well worth a listen to: –

  3. avatar
    Freddie | 27 December 2009 at 2:12 pm #

    Bondi sounds nice, busy but nice. Mayhaps ya ought to tell people it's horrible so you can have some peace 🙂 Excellent blog today.
    Always reading,

  4. avatar
    davem | 27 December 2009 at 2:56 pm #

    "ditto poms n irish esp. the backpacker types
    but some of the backpacker types are quite…..
    a bit cro-magnon or something "

    Fucking charming and a Merry bleedin' Christmas to you too!! Lol – I do know what you mean.

  5. avatar
    matthew | 27 December 2009 at 2:58 pm #

    captured it all again perfectly, vividly, livingly… again brilliant! I doffs me cap.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 December 2009 at 3:06 pm #

    ok i try 2 b nise 2 u but u gode me in2 it u: so hope this year u stop gettng away with it n pay 4 ur crimes. thanx u.

  7. avatar
    Mr. Argent | 27 December 2009 at 5:40 pm #

    I am always enchanted by your physical and spiritual descriptions of what seems to be such an exotic place compared to most of Europe and the US.

    I've always wondered; do wattle trees bear a fragrance?

  8. avatar
    Dek | 27 December 2009 at 8:50 pm #

    I'm reading bro. And i'm glad i found you.

  9. avatar
    steve kilbey | 27 December 2009 at 9:48 pm #

    mr argent/silver
    the wattle has a slightly weird smell
    not really pleasant but kinda sweet

    anonymous moron 2.06
    yes i hope they catch me for my many crimes
    like choosing not to collaborate with morons
    or being rude to fucknuckles on my blog etc….
    or maybe youre talking about
    all those murders i committed
    and all that stuff
    treason , forgery, kidnapping , arson, larceny,
    and driving under the influence of bubble tea
    wow! they'll put me in stocks before i'm executed
    and you can slap me in the face with your turgid demo tape until i expire…..

  10. avatar
    fantasticandy | 27 December 2009 at 10:55 pm #

    heck steve….
    does this bloke really upset you that much?
    ……even more than the black eyed peas?

  11. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 27 December 2009 at 11:04 pm #

    On Christmas Day three young relatives thought I was crazy for not knowing much about the Black Eyed Peas. Many of the older bands I like are improving with age like MACCA, J. Beck, The Church, Pretenders, HOJO, S. Howe and Kraftwerk.

    For that matter MACCA, MOBY, THE CHURCH and HOJO created my four favorite CDs of 2009.Best song "Operetta".

  12. avatar
    verdelay | 27 December 2009 at 11:38 pm #

    Good morning, Mr. K

    I made an unscheduled trip to Bondi Beach last Monday. Yes, your very own Harry Flowers made manifest in your own back yard only a week ago.I suspect the chatter is only just dying down.

    My aeroplane from Wessex had been delayed on account of all the snow and the ice, and my late arrival in Sydney meant a missed connection to Brisbane. What to do with a spare 6 hours in the sunshine? What to do in a state of sublime exhausted near-delirium?

    Why, visit Bondi, of course.

    I was the one wearing a three-piece suit in 30 degrees.

    I was the one arguing with the bank teller over my lack of currency

    I was the one with his trousers rolled up paddling in the pacific

    I was the one gingerly avoiding bindies like Astaire

    I was the one burning to a cinder

    I was the one ordering a veggie burger from that blonde girl from Seattle in that little cafe up the hill

    I was the one with the beatific smile staring out to sea

    I was the one who then vanished forever on the back of a pre-paid bus ticket.

    I saw the seabaths

    I saw the headland

    I saw the houses leaning to

    I saw the banksias and frangipani

    I saw the tanned touristas giggling and gagging

    I saw the moochy locals prodding the avocados

    I saw the sign that said "Old Southhead Road"

    I saw the light

    I saw tooth and sine waves

    I gathered it in and smoked it for future consumption

    I then turned up here, in the demi-tropics, where my mother the queen lives with her loyal lorikeets and scheming geckos

    Verily this is paradise

    Love to you and yours


  13. avatar
    Warpedjohn | 28 December 2009 at 12:50 am #

    cazziem ,

    a Macdonalds opposite the pyramids in Egypt !
    I'm shocked ( but somehow don't doubt it )
    How DARE they !!??
    Strap me into an explosive-vest and I'll do the joint myself.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 1:05 am #

    Howdy Steve Kilbey,
    just wanted to say I hope there will be a titled #24 by 2011, Untitled 23 is the album I play the most these days by any band, great album and thanks for doing your best work IMO in the 2000's. I've been following the church off and on since I heard "Reptile" on an indie radio station when I was a kid.

  15. avatar
    linjo | 28 December 2009 at 1:28 am #

    yeah nice blog, I can almost smell Bondi!! much the same up here except on a smaller scale and predominantly Aussie holidaymakers. As the xmas carb blowouts settle on the hips, people everywhere are pounding the pavement, ipods pumping, roolly yoo-neek tatts a quivering. Happy Days. Linda

  16. avatar
    Jasperina | 28 December 2009 at 1:56 am #

    For those of us that live in Sydney Bondi seems to belong to someone else. I have only just recently rediscovered it because I had my exhibition there. The Australian? character it once had seems to have faded long ago…funny that people go there looking for the essence of Australia. On one of my recent visits sitting on the beach with one of those magic pink kind of sunsets enclosing me it did feel like I was in the vortex of the universe. I also remember feeling the original owners of this place would have had a powerful sense of its spiritual significance….something that seems to be sadly lacking today. A place without culture I suspect that's true. The sea will hold a mystery there that is timeless. What it is right now I hope will pass into oblivion.
    p.s. the wattle smells a bit like vanilla.

  17. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 28 December 2009 at 2:03 am #

    Beautiful imagery and words describing a place I very much want to visit…but don't worry, I won't be a loud American,haha. The best thing to do in foreign cities is just set off walking and exploring on one's own – being safe of course and staying in safe areas (do yer research). I did this in London and Paris and saw wonderful things!

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: You've got to be the most prolific human being I've ever met. I'm so envious. This time of year is killer for me. I hate it. The olde black dog of depression sets in and I feel like I am moving through molasses.

    Thanks for writing – people ARE reading!


  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 2:53 am #

    its a game isnt it.its a game just as long as its at someone else's expense.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 3:10 am #

    Fuck you and Australia kilbey, Australia is not all you make it out to be. .

  20. avatar
    steve kilbey | 28 December 2009 at 3:28 am #

    dont tell me i missed harry verdelay flowers
    stumblin' round in bondi
    damn it!
    oh harry

    oh anon at 2.10
    dont be so rude…!


  21. avatar
    linjo | 28 December 2009 at 4:12 am #

    Funny Andy I thought the same. Does a two line jumbled message that could have been written by a five year old, warrant such an angry defensive, serious reply? I dont get it.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 5:05 am #

    thanks for the snub sk
    that hurts
    no more subscriptions

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2009 at 5:44 am #

    Easily I agree but I contemplate the collection should acquire more info then it has.

  24. avatar
    fantasticandy | 28 December 2009 at 7:52 am #

    crikey harry……
    i'm sure killah would have done ya a pot of tea.
    famous geezer you are!

  25. avatar
    ross b | 28 December 2009 at 9:53 am #

    Bondi can be intense but it is alluring and beautiful all the same.

    i've been down there a lot recently hanging out with cousins and stuff..(they're not israeli)

  26. avatar
    Ellen | 28 December 2009 at 6:53 pm #

    Australia has been on my "to do" list for years. Perhaps in 2012 or 2013, I'll FINALLY tour Sydney, frolic in the waves, meet the locals, see [a tiny portion of] the Outback…

    I definitely prefer the "road less traveled" …

    Steve, you could definitely write brochures to lure tourists! You got me intrigued.

  27. avatar
    Altres | 28 December 2009 at 8:55 pm #

    Heh, loved this Blog, Steve. Great to have the time to read some, I have been busier than ever these last months. Hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas time. It is minus 8 here right now and ice and snow is everywhere. Good old Pictland.


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