posted on January 19, 2009 at 7:46 pm

the night has a thousand eyes
the indian night
where krishna waits for his radha
where swans glide silently o’er black waters
and flowers perfume the darkness
that sound of the flute
krishnas flute
playing
off in the distance
listen!
there……
deep amongst the trees
deep in the deep heart of the night
when the 21st century sleeps …..
the 21st century
i hate it!
i hate the noise
i hate the rules
i hate the humdrum
everything in me longs to be gone
to walk in that peaceful place
to lay by grey lakes in evenings
its surface a mirror of heaven
to dissolve my soul of steve kilbey
to wash that man right out of my hair
i am not him
he is a bouy floating on my sea
he is a spokesman for only himself
in times of pain
in times of danger
we separate
the deep me
the shallow me
when the bubble bursts
when the parties are all over
when the masks are all forgotten
me as big as the sky
me being anywhere
multi-locational
omni-directional
oh vishnu this is hard to reconcile to kilbey
oh vishnu
are you still listening in that little house in my heart
are you beside me all the way
are you a symbol
are you a possibility
are you a way for stupid men to approach the truth
with your one thousand names
colour of a cloud
your compassionate eyes that see everything
each sparrowfall
each sacrifice however small
each transgression
each prayer
pray harder ! someone says
sling yourself into it
give whatever you can
believe whatever you can
vishnu is dreaming this all up
we’re all part of his dream
he sleeps out there
and his lovely wife soothes him as he dreams this stuff up
his lovely wife who happens to be the goddess of fortune
she smooths his hair
she gently strokes his temples
as he dreams dreams dreams
dreams indistinguishable from reality
reality within a dream
big dreams of universes
small dreams of ants
fast dream of man
slow dream of time
life after life after life
the same old routine
am i awake
am i asleep
am i franz bloody kafka
or am i really a beetle this time
is there life on other planets
hell yeah
whats its all about alfie
when you said you had it all worked out
why should we be nice to our each other
after all it was all someone elses fault
and every generation throws a hero up the pop charts
and no one can help themselves
destiny is pre ordained but i got my free will
dont i?
i see it all coming i could get outta the way
the deep me says duck you fucking fool
the shallow me
the kilbey
the erm steve kilbey
he says
lets ‘ave a look
and down comes the comet
or the earth opens wide in a chasm
or lady godiva stops on ‘er ‘orse
and points
and says
him!
he looked!
and everybody gets angry
and i’m running away from these angry villagers
cos i’m a heretic and a lunatic
and just as theyre banging me up on a flaming cross
i’m thinking hang on….
the deep me is thinking
hang on…..
and i wake up
and i get born
and i grow up in some ways
and i learn my lessons
and i do my bit
i sing my songs
i do my chores
and i get thoroughly lost
despite the many signs you have placed here
which say
danger ahead!
this way!
that way!
you are now entering no mans land
and the signs i didnt see
cos i was too busy driving
driving my point home
driving a hard old bargain
driving people crazy
in many different and absurd ways
shallowman your life is the unexpurgated living daylights
india is as distant as ever
it calls you but you are deaf
anxiety follows you all of your days
an idiot with a leaf blower in your quietest garden
your feathers are so ruffled you can hardly fly
you stand on the ground taking potshots at turkeys
you curse the racket of the times in a loud voice
why do i have to do this
why do i have to do that
why this question
kilbey slumps
kilbey has run out of steam
horrible industrial sounds mar this quiet morning
disturbing my reverie
with their roars and screams and grinds
india recedes before my messed up minds eye
krishnas dreamy flute is drowned out
radha is lost in the night
the swans fly off
the flowers close up
and the 21st century wakes
all wimpy and useless
looks itself in the mirror
9 years old
it says
fuck!

49 Responses to “oh vishnu”

  1. avatar
    the dean | 19 January 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    your pray today that fills me with such sadness.
    If only we could step outside ourselves and see it all with an impartial eye.

  2. avatar
    don joe | 19 January 2009 at 9:14 pm #

    Mixed bag of nuts after the positivity of yesterday. Have a peek within you for what you seek. That is the only place you can make it right. Nothing from the outside will change you or for you unless you choose to do so. It’s all up to you. Confront it; get a handle on it. Great things are coming up if you want them to be…a renaissance perhaps? One that’s been broiling away for few years now. Go and harness it and unleash it Killer.

    Holding my breath for the new disc and concert to boot!

    ML,
    don joe

  3. avatar
    Martin | 19 January 2009 at 9:16 pm #

    Beautiful! Have a nice daydream!

  4. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 19 January 2009 at 9:27 pm #

    Wondrous and Mystifying !

    Vishnu Rules Supreme !

    His luminous avatars are Krishna, Buddha and Rama.

    Kilbey’s his rock star spokesperson and agent who attends vegan festivals and writes poignant blogs regarding mankind’s malignant mistreatment of our fellow creatures.

  5. avatar
    catchow | 19 January 2009 at 9:51 pm #

    what strikes me much, steve, is the
    diversity and the quality of your
    blogs, all different and all so interesting!….

  6. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 19 January 2009 at 9:53 pm #

    If I could afford it, I would buy myself a house in the country, somewhere remote, beautiful and tranquil, and do my best to “escape” the stress that comes with living in the 21st century. I’m sick of big city noise. I wish all I had to listen to was the sounds of nature, music for the soul, and – naturally – my loved ones.

  7. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 19 January 2009 at 9:57 pm #

    things could be worse, that much i know…..just what i think, anyway, guys…
    love always….

  8. avatar
    princey | 19 January 2009 at 10:25 pm #

    Hiya sk,
    I had that erky, sad feeling last night returning from the gorgeous seaside and back to reality. Catching up with TTB was the only thing that kept my spirit alive and then to read about a Church gig and album made all the doom’n’gloom disappear in a flash!
    Thanx for all the good news!
    Cant wait to see you next week:)
    LOve Amanda

  9. avatar
    melissa | 19 January 2009 at 10:34 pm #

    I would much prefer to live in Vishnu’s world also 🙂 Must.try.harder.

    🙂

    Fantastic blog today xx

  10. avatar
    fantasticandy | 19 January 2009 at 11:12 pm #

    ah…modern living…
    of which this blog is a product.
    is there some way we can just keep the good stuff?
    discuss?

  11. avatar
    seoigh | 19 January 2009 at 11:43 pm #

    You’ve been blessed with enough mind to know the need to let go of individuated consciousness. You know you must “dissolve your soul of Steve Kilbey.” Good.

    Not so easy, though, is it? In all honesty, your ego — this thing which haunts you so — has served you well. It has served you better than most.

    It’s easy to hate the ego that brought you heroin addiction — the ego that orders bandmates around like servants — the ego that drives you to those deep lows you modulate through.

    But for you, it’s also brought fame and fortune, wine and women, a life unbound by the type of chains that regular working blokes are tangled in.

    And this ego, this individuated self has brought things greater than your highs and your lows — it’s brought art and family. I’d venture to say that letting go of your ego, “washing Steve Kilbey out of your hair,” is probably quite more of a task than most seekers are challenged by. You may hate this Steve Kilbey shape you ride around in — but you love the old bastard, too. He’s all you’ve ever had.

    It is one thing to know that your individuated self’s efforts through life have only ever built those things which will die and decay. Acting on it is different than merely knowing it. When those things which will die and decay are not concepts and philosophical constructs of a 20-something genius — when those things are not concepts but your family, your home, your body of work, your treasured persona, your hair, your beliefs… hard to let go of all that, innit? But so you must.

    Look on the bright side. Existence has supplied your current incarnation with a heck of a weapon to defeat the ego. You’ve been blessed with musical samahdi. So kill your ego, yes. But do it with song. It’s the only weapon you’ve been granted.

    Bit of a pea-shooter in a typhoon; but that’s the weapon you have. Most blokes don’t have that much.

    Peace.

  12. avatar
    Freddie | 20 January 2009 at 12:36 am #

    A glimpse at the deeper side of you (can’t say Kilbey 🙂
    I’m not Hindu
    not anything really
    But I’ve always been fascinated with
    Paramahansa Yogananda’s books/commentary
    I love his autobiography of a yogi.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 2:35 am #

    wow, that was a lot of work, my friend. bless you

    r.

  14. avatar
    linjo | 20 January 2009 at 2:56 am #

    Todays blog is so beautifully written thankyou Steve. Seems to me that Seoigh’s comment is profoundly spot on. Linda x

  15. avatar
    linjo | 20 January 2009 at 2:58 am #

    and hope you had a fantastic holiday Amanda. Its a place I have always wanted to visit.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 3:05 am #

    Yeah,Linda!!I love the old bastard too .;D xo

  17. avatar
    pennybridge | 20 January 2009 at 4:26 am #

    Medicine is magical
    and magical is art

    Have a nice day in the bubble …

  18. avatar
    lily was here | 20 January 2009 at 4:57 am #

    This is one of those times when you wish that there was real truth in the ‘selective hearing’ theory of men

    love xoxo

    ps i love my quiet but i also miss the rabble

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 6:25 am #

    Hi sk,

    Just read yesterdays blogge about the soon to be released Church cd
    Yeah!

    If wishes could come true one will be on Mon 2 Feb at the David Byrne concert to c the Church walk out on that stage.

    Peace & love
    Therese

  20. avatar
    craig1.618 | 20 January 2009 at 8:28 am #

    “there is no spoon”

  21. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 20 January 2009 at 8:35 am #

    what’s it all about Alfie, Mary says that all the time here in this house, guess you gotta be older than fifty to understand that one huh esskay…
    Jonny Hollywood

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 9:19 am #

    goosebumps,:) xo

  23. avatar
    captain mission | 20 January 2009 at 9:39 am #

    i was driving to work this morning, along the beautiful stretch of road through the amazing bush land, sun streaming through the trees, aflame with light as it bounced through the leaves and the lush vegetation on either side. and i was listening to kate bush singing this beautiful song about a sky of honey, when in front of me i saw a bewildering sight. i slowed the death machine down (for cars are a terrible thing) and i noticed five, six grey bouncing orbs, fluttering soft objects, erratically jumping and leaping maniacally and i maneuvered the death machine to avoid hitting these things, i saw them in detail as i passed. birds. wounded birds, dying slowly on a highway. i said a prayer to the dying and blessed their spirits and continued my journey, but the event had such an imprint on me i had to do an ineffective banishing ritual, all i could think about all day was the mystery of what had happened there on that road to that flock of birds and how that moment of early morning joy could suddenly shift to this existential horror.
    it haunted me all day long and through the evening hours as i wondered about the permutations of my actions and puzzled over if i should have stopped the car and rescued or intervened in some way. or called for help, or just sat with them while they died their slow awful deaths. and then as the sunset, the strange buzzing of insects and the goodnight chatter of birds, a gentle breeze through the windows at mission control, i acknowledged the mystery, i accepted my failings (oh the list is long) and my strengths (mmm, short one) and i just i let it go.

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 10:19 am #

    A “banishing ritual”, jesus what a nut job. Why don’t you give steve your “death machine”, he is in need of one.

  25. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 20 January 2009 at 10:41 am #

    captain mission…beautiful haunting writing…..i have a particular affection for wee animals like birds and it always affects me to see them suffer….
    my little one’s got her first sleepover happening and for her little friend it’s the first time she’s stayed the night at a friend’s place….poor little lamb…anyway, they’ve had an absolute ball so far….ah, childhood…
    love always….

  26. avatar
    Shirley Sally | 20 January 2009 at 11:37 am #

    I have been dead busy so have just read 4 days worth of blog in one go today. I still listen to The Damned. Many years ago, after a Damned gig, I was standing at the bar and Captain Sensible asked me if I wanted a drink – I politely refused. Memories!

  27. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 January 2009 at 1:01 pm #

    Me, too, Hellbound Heart. I remember being at my paretns’ house about a year ago, and this blackbird hit a window very hard. When I went outside to se how it was doing, it was quite obvious that it was suffering, and I had to chop its head off. Not an easy task for someone, who loves animals, but to my surprise I didn’t hesitate,’cause watching that poor, little creature suffer was even more terrible that having to put it out of it’s misery. But I was sad afterwards. The beautiful singing of the male blackbird always fills me with warmth and reminds me of my childhood, summer, and the smell of newly mown.

  28. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 January 2009 at 1:22 pm #

    Should’ve said:”…than having to…”its misery”…and “newly mown grass”.
    I’m a copywriter, so I’m a bit touchy about my spelling.

  29. avatar
    matthew | 20 January 2009 at 2:42 pm #

    Wow, sad & touching anecdotes Captain & then Thomas, thanks for recording those… (and Thomas: yeah I'm obsessive about my spelling too, so I get that!)(and Captain: I bet my lists are longer/shorter than yours!) Peace all, anyway.

  30. avatar
    CSTCoach | 20 January 2009 at 4:13 pm #

    beautiful. meditative. so difficult to capture and describe that state. respect.

    funny reading all that now. i recently received an invite to visit india, the northwest, land of the sikhs, amritsar and the foothills of the himalaya. mythic terrain.

  31. avatar
    Braine73 | 20 January 2009 at 5:02 pm #

    allo

  32. avatar
    davem | 20 January 2009 at 5:02 pm #

    2009. It is mostly crap AND relentless.
    So often I find my solace and peace in your words and music.
    Thanks for helping me and many others achieve at least a modicum of perspective.
    x

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 5:05 pm #

    Wow davem, if you are getting your life’s perspective from kilbey that would explain alot about you. Take a walk and breath, there is a whole fuckin’ world out there.

  34. avatar
    eek | 20 January 2009 at 5:32 pm #

    And I bet the mirror looks back at the 21st century and says “yeah, yeah. Fuck you, too.”

    Mirrors can be mighty damned cranky.

    (and we now officially have a new US President! Yay!)

  35. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 January 2009 at 5:48 pm #

    Follow your own “advice”, anon. Instead of not making a difference in here, go out and make a difference in the real world. Or maybe you’ve given up on that…and that’s why you’re trying so desperately to leave a mark in here with all of your bitterness?

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 6:13 pm #

    So does that mean, dear tommy, that you feel you are making a difference in here? Like your earlier post. It is so fascinating that the wanker thommy from fuckin’ iceberg land wants to live in the country. Stop the fucking presses. Cutting edge shit there thommy. Do you actually think anyone gives a shit?

  37. avatar
    fandorin | 20 January 2009 at 6:32 pm #

    icebergs?

    akvavit – check
    red pølser – check
    Ribe belltower – check
    nice painter Anna Ancher – check
    Carl Nielsen – check
    weird stød while speaking – check
    dogma movies – check

    i think i have to return for the icebergs!

  38. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 January 2009 at 6:34 pm #

    No, I don’t believe I’m making much of a difference in here, anon, or anywhere else for that matter, but I do know for sure that even though I’m not “adding much”, at least I’m not “subtracting” as you are.

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 6:57 pm #

    Nice one fandorin. It is sad that your short list of country highlights included a composer and a painter both dead over 75 years and virtually unheard of outside your little iceberg. And a fucking belltower? HaHaHa Seriously, there is nothing else going on in denmark? No wonder thommy is such a pretentious jack ass.

  40. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 January 2009 at 7:07 pm #

    Nothing going on in Denmark?
    Let’s not forget about Aqua and “Barbie Girl”, anon.

  41. avatar
    John | 20 January 2009 at 7:28 pm #

    Methinks anon 4:05,5:13,5:57 etc., doth protest/obsess too much about our friends Thomas and davem. Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

    Speaking of obsession, my OCD tendencies are reeling trying to figure out the track listing on Shriek. Does anyone have a link to or know the true list? You will forever be in my thankful prayers.

    John

  42. avatar
    fandorin | 20 January 2009 at 7:31 pm #

    Thomsens værge hamrede så fast, at anons hjelm og hjerne brast! Det land endnu er skønt, thi blå sig søen bælter! Anon er et røvhul!!

  43. avatar
    12str | 20 January 2009 at 7:32 pm #

    new CHURCH album!! it made my day/year…..soon i hope!! alongside pk mark II and K/K… you spoil us rotten SK!! 😉

  44. avatar
    davem | 20 January 2009 at 7:42 pm #

    Sorry John…my copy of Shriek hasn’t arrived yet… 🙁

    There’s a track listing posted on hotel womb, but I don’t know whether this just mirrors the cd case given as I haven’t yet got my mitts on it!

    I’m hoping Shriek lands on my doormat tomorrow.

  45. avatar
    steve kilbey | 20 January 2009 at 7:49 pm #

    hes a complete rovhul
    his name is barry

  46. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 20 January 2009 at 7:53 pm #

    Haha…”he’s a complete røvhul”.

    For your information, anal Barry, that means you’re a complete ass in danish!

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 January 2009 at 7:56 pm #

    My name is actually Tyler. Being called an ass by a fucking dane does not bother me. What else have you got to do besides stick your penis in a snowbank.

  48. avatar
    John | 20 January 2009 at 9:07 pm #

    Thanks davem. I checked HW but no luck yet. I’ll keep searching. It’s worth it to know, as SK said there’s some good stuff on there.

    John

  49. avatar
    MEM | 22 January 2009 at 6:52 am #

    WHY
    AMI
    NOT
    HIN
    GTR
    UEE
    XIS
    TIA
    MYE
    TAF
    RAG
    LEF
    LAK
    EOF
    SNO
    WWA
    ITI
    NGT
    MEL
    TON
    THE
    TIP
    OFY
    OUR
    TON
    GUE


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