posted on June 1, 2007 at 4:32 am

which v. famous aussie rocker rang me at 330 in the morning
and left a rambling message on my answering machine?
oh god i cant tell you
and wouldnt mean much to non australian reeders
i guess…
had pea patzises(how do ya spell it) from the maltese joint
in surrey hills
drank a fiji water parked down a side street
with nk and yon goode bumper
we just driving round goofing off
in the winters sun
refo mation comes on
oh god it all comes back to me
living in rozelle in my olde house
91 mansfield street
they should put a plaque up there
and just over the road i had my own proper studio
with all the equipment
pianos n mikes n couches n mixing desks n glass n
little machines with blinking red lights
only trubble was i was on the gear
and couldnt appreciate one iota of it
any way thats where we did the refo
marty was with all about eve
and i guess we didnt have nothing better to do
i think you can tell i wasnt trying too hard
but theres some nice moments nonetheless
oh mr silver please come in
we been waiting for you sucha long time…
i used to stand outside the studio a lot
waiting for a certain white car to pull up
so i could escape the withdrawals starting to gnaw at me
i’d be standing there yawning feeling anxious restless
my eyes would be sore and i’d feel shivery
she said she was gonna be here an hour ago….
1st thing you learn is you always gotta wait…
yeah all the cliches in spades
anyway shes always late my lady of the gear
and when she rolls up 3 hours late
do i run out and lambast her
“where the hella you been? i been waiting for hours!”
like fuck i do
its oh hi
how are ya?
oh yeah lovely day here
on this bleak corner in rozelle
waiting for you oh lady of the gear
im just so happy to see you at all
look heres a loada money
i hadda scrape to find
now please lay that sweet poison on me
cut and underweight as it is
and you can go and see some other poor wretch
whos desperate to see your white holden pull into his street

now by this time tp n pk probably given up on me
waiting outside the studio
not putting too much in today
suddenly i return
they start saying
steve where is the chorus etc
or something
and im saying
see ya inna minute
then i mainline that poison straight into a vein on my arm or leg
and suddenly all that achey restless nauseous nastiness
is replaced with a smack thru my system
its not like an orgasm as some say
it is not comparable
as soon as the stuff is in the bloodstream
you taste it in your throat
and then voila
whatever felt badde
in a split second
feels goode
a pleasant languidness comes on
i feel hungry again
i feel drowsy
i feel like talking
long stupid rambling free associations that no one follows
i set to work on the music
but most of me is missing
the lyrics are tossed off
i cant find anything that really moves me
im in love with the poison and thats it
everything else is a bit of a hassle actually
life is a memory
i dont care about nothing or no one
nearly as much as the poison
the poison possesses me
it talks to me
it tells me my truths
and it justifies my neglect
and shaky shoddy dealings
and pawning n selling my stuff
and borrowing money off…anyone
can ya lend me a hundred bucks…?
jus’ for a few days…
still there are some good moments on the re fo
despite myself
half the tracks are real corkers
its got some good mystery to it
especially me
who cant remember much
except waiting waiting waiting
or falling into a nice coma
while listening to the music
(my fave past time)

71 Responses to “pastime”

  1. avatar
    the dean | 1 June 2007 at 5:30 am #

    don’t ya just love it when someone say “you’ll never guess who..”

  2. avatar
    freddy mercurial | 1 June 2007 at 5:42 am #


    silly question, however…do you miss your old house in rozelle, or do ya like where ya are nowadays? i guess things can’t stay the same forever i suppose.

    hope you and the family are all in good form.

    freddy merk

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 5:44 am #

    And the re fo’s one live performance, last year in beautiful downtown Myrtle Beach when Marty went off with a migrane!

  4. avatar
    kat | 1 June 2007 at 5:50 am #


    see, i don’t feel as bad about smoking if i stay away from the H. i need a few hundo anyway lol do you like pavement?

  5. avatar
    Sonny | 1 June 2007 at 6:19 am #

    which v. famous aussie rocker rang me at 330 in the morning
    and left a rambling message on my answering machine?
    oh god i cant tell you

    I’ll take a punt and say Billy Thorpe! He obviously had something urgent to tell you from the astral plane but hasn’t quite yet gotten used to dealing with two different sets of mediums at once – hence the rambling….

    Just a guess πŸ™‚

    Ummm….was that a little tasteless?

    (from the extreme lower left buttock of Western Australia)

  6. avatar
    JUNE | 1 June 2007 at 6:22 am #

    me sure me will enjoy me re fo cd once it arrives, me freaky conclusions album came with no cd in me case from karmic hit, me returned to sender for JLK to replace but no word yet…

  7. avatar
    verdelay | 1 June 2007 at 6:34 am #

    I always thought of Rozelle as some near-lost, mystical place akin to Lemuria or Avalon, a far-begotten land of fantastical creatures and haughty empires. Lots of mist.

    I suppose I wasn’t that far wrong.

  8. avatar
    sweed | 1 June 2007 at 6:41 am #

    I love the Re Fo!!

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 7:12 am #

    rosie hell?…poppies never took my fancy…i am thankful/lucky.i understand the perils of an over active mind…Hyper sensitive to all stimulus{of the non touchable kind…lights,moods,smells,electricity et …..ha!,hows that for random/shuffle? “Someone Special” on stereo…yes! a plaque for someone special,in rosie hell….nah….the sentiment may be to the wrong god….a plaque at the pool…love to you and family genx xxxxxxxxxx

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 7:22 am #

    sad, very sad

  11. avatar
    davem | 1 June 2007 at 7:28 am #

    So glad it’s behind you.
    Bloody shame about the studio though. I thought it had been recorded at KH, so that was a nice litle insight.
    Have a good weekend esskay & fellow fiends.

  12. avatar
    eek | 1 June 2007 at 7:34 am #

    This post reminded me of talking (well it was in Antenna) with a fan who was pissed off at you for getting your life more together because he liked your work better when you were hooked. The “I don’t give a crap if he’s miserable, I like the music better then” attitude struck me as particularly callous.

    I quite like the current image of you, NK, and baby bumper cruising around goofing off…and the music etc. you are producing now is pretty damned cool too. You’re doing good, Steve. πŸ™‚

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 8:08 am #

    You think the ghosts in there were trying to tell you something?

  14. avatar
    sweed | 1 June 2007 at 8:25 am #

    For the record: I’m glad you’re off the gear Steve and I like your work even more these days still…re fo is good stuff

  15. avatar
    don joe | 1 June 2007 at 8:39 am #

    The hard edge of truth….

    “I’m hate when u want love. pay the price; pay for nothing’s fair. Hey, I’m your life I’m the one who takes u there. Hey I’m your life and I no longer care. I’m your dream make u real, I’m your eyes when u must steal. I’m your pain when u can’t feel….I’m the truth telling lies; I’m your reasons, alibi’s I’m inside open your eyes….I’m you”

    Glad you got to the other side of it all SK.

    don joe

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 9:18 am #

    My top three picks for rockers who call in the ungodly hours –

    1. Stephen Cummings
    2. Bernard Fanning
    3. A Triffid (maybe Graham Lee)

    …now what I really wanna know is…

    what the hell were they calling you about?


  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 10:30 am #

    rozelle, 91 mansfield street shot by satellite spy cam:,135.745076&sspn=55.911475,79.189453&ie=UTF8&ll=-33.86424,151.175762&spn=0.001619,0.002417&t=h&z=19&om=1

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 10:41 am #,135.745076&sspn=55.911475,79.189453&ie=UTF8&ll=-33.86424,151.175762&spn=0.001619,0.002417&t=h&z=19&om=1

    Isn’t it funny – and nice – how the presence of some old trees can turn a locked in patch of Satanic wasteland into…whatever you want?

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 10:42 am #

    jesus christ, it was bad enough having a brother who was into smack.let alone reading about your misery…kicking that shit’s the best thing you coulda done, pal…funny how addiction can be to a substance or a person…you know it’s doing you not one iota of good but you still crave it…
    -The Hellbound Heart

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 10:52 am #

    Molly meldrum?is he still trying to seduce you………some men never give up!….you sexy old beam! ^&*#$)&%^&)_@

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 11:01 am #

    Was it?ummmmm…Paul Kelly,Johmmy Young,Johnny Farnham,Peter Costello{oh, mo thats elvis s brother,no?}…Stevie,Wright?Sexy Tex?I know….Saint Bailey!……carrrrrrrrrrmoooooorrrrrrrrm Killer!…..Thats it!Ya called yaself!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 11:43 am #

    Definately Farnsey or Barnsie.

  23. avatar
    namaste | 1 June 2007 at 11:57 am #

    yuck, that memoir of using hit me right in the celluar smack memory…gasp…suckcintly put sk.
    here’s to patizzis in the sun!

    recently read juicys book and am curious about little red feather…can you, do you want to, tell us more?

  24. avatar
    mahatma kane jeeves | 1 June 2007 at 12:13 pm #

    was the mystery rocker barnsie wondering if you’d like to do a album together

  25. avatar
    John Garratt | 1 June 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    My mp3 player seems to like the Re:fo album during shuffle days. Especially “Traitor.”

    What does that mean?

    John Garratt

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 12:38 pm #

    re:fo……anything that turned up in those days was like a drop life-water to most of us. yes, we could feel the lack of vital sk in there…but “don’t move”? oh yeah. great stuff. seems that’s when everyone started switching instruments…….brilliant toss-off in my opinion. love you


  27. avatar
    Brian | 1 June 2007 at 12:42 pm #

    The food in question is “pastizzi” (pronounced pass-tits-ee – and I grew up on those in Malta. I always liked the peas variety, also called “pizelli” and never cared for the ricotta cheese variety. They’ve made a lot of new flavours now, like pizza etc.

    I liked refo:mation a lot – best track was the Moon and the Sea, IMHO. The lyrics seemed more “together” and told a single story – PK’s sound is magnificent too.

    There was a girl I really liked and I wanted to play her that track (she wanted to know what I was listening to) so I cued it up and she listened to the whole thing…didn’t seem too moved by it. Then I realized I’d actually played her the song before it πŸ™‚ D’oh – she fell in love with someone else and moved on.

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 1:20 pm #

    stephie cummings a rocker?…i dunnot think so…I was think9ing more like angus young…is that the blokes name? can barely recall…ha ha…Yo, TB ( a rare form of drug resistant existence) why dont you ever talk talk about your Solo stuff….And where has your Solo Muse been?? i miss it. Blessed One was like a century ago..I miss the underworld. Xt in Dee minor…

  29. avatar
    veleska1970 | 1 June 2007 at 1:39 pm #

    i’ve said it before, but it’s always worth repeating: getting off of that crap is probably the best thing that could have happened to you, steve. not only would you have ended up dead, but you wouldn’t have seen the twillies and doodles grow up to be beautiful women, you wouldn’t have known the bumper, you wouldn’t have had the love of your wife and family, and you wouldn’t have continued to share your gifts with us loving fans. what a tragic loss all that would have been!!

    but, in dispensing with all the “what could have beens”, i’m glad you are here and please just keep doing what you do. πŸ™‚

    lotza love….

  30. avatar
    veleska1970 | 1 June 2007 at 1:40 pm #

    to jj: sending lots of healing vibes to your dad. i hope he gets better. πŸ™‚

  31. avatar
    fantasticandy | 1 June 2007 at 1:53 pm #

    how can i not love and admire you when you come out with stuff like that?
    but i think you still beat yourself up about the gear even after all this time.
    we all fuck up.
    but not everyone has the guts to admit it.
    even fewer manage to turn things around.
    your honesty in such matters is very disarming.

    ‘that’ gig in london was so stunningly good!
    you were all in great form.
    in a live situation, i can’t imagine a better frontman.
    do you need to be told this?
    will it help in any way?
    no more melencholy for a bit eh?
    can we have ‘witty’ steve back, just for a day maybe?
    a lot of people out here really do love you y’know,
    we worry ’bout you sometimes.
    c’mon nevets,
    gis’ a smile.

    andy L.

  32. avatar
    malcolm arkey | 1 June 2007 at 2:35 pm #


    Rozelle ‘mystical’ ya reckon ?

    Well…i remember it as a charming and forgotten backwater of Sydney during the 80’s.

    She was kind of the strange middle child: trapped between the smarm of her wanky elder brother, Balmain, and the difficulties of her problematic ‘battling’ younger sister, Lilyfield.

    Actually, on a hot summer’s night, say about midnight, when only ghosts and flying foxes glided over the streets here and there, East Balmain (just up the hill and round the bend) was indeed one of Sydney’s most magical places.

    The lights of the CBD reflecting on the harbour; the frenetic ant-like activity of imported automobiles being unloaded from the bellies of ungainly cargo ships down in White Bay while the shadows of gargantuan docking arms rode across the tops of glittering waves; the distant reverberant shudder of railway cars being shunted together in a goods siding somewhere below; the dry docks; the looming silos; the abandoned power station; the turn of the century wooden balconies…

    ahh yes…’mystical’ was the right word after all.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 2:39 pm #

    Glad you’re still with us to tell the tale. Unlike so many who have gone before you.

  34. avatar
    restaurant mark | 1 June 2007 at 3:13 pm #

    so glad you’re off the junk…just think of how obviously different and better your life is now…do ya think you’ll ever have your own studio space again? i know i love having my studio at home.
    take care man

  35. avatar
    gareth,notts | 1 June 2007 at 3:18 pm #

    91 mansfield street! i recall walking the streets of Mansfield,in ’91, in my ‘The Church’ leather jacket(perfectly painted by my signwriting friend,and since,signed by you all!!) The Refo:mation,dark and brilliant,thought 5.28 was a gem!

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 3:51 pm #

    hey SK, you may enjoy this blog.

  37. avatar
    knot | 1 June 2007 at 5:13 pm #

    tomorrow there are white flowers on the wooden floor

  38. avatar
    Ansible Jon | 1 June 2007 at 5:23 pm #

    i think refo was a solid album and should have been released as da choich. i mean:
    SK+MWP+TP=the church but
    i unnastand, but still…
    don’t move, 5:26, trying to get in are some of the best tunes, but yeah, you sure can tell by someone’s voice that they are strung out and spread across the toast a little too thinly. glad that’s behind us.
    i would rather live without the beautific music and know you were happy and healthy. really.

    more photos, please. post one of the muse if possible. is there a painting of the muse?

  39. avatar
    JJ | 1 June 2007 at 5:32 pm #

    TB, TB…besides having an abrasive critic in Brissy, you can be your own worst critic! I thought Refo:Mation was EXCELLENT. As Gareth,Notts says – dark and brooding yes, perhaps why it appealed so much to me. 5:28, now who else could turn a digital clockface into a crystalline statement on the passage of time, who is the one? She Comes in Singing (again, who else could get away with a line like “has a heart like a blue whale?” – nobody but TB, it works), Florian Trout, Traitor, Get Over It, Stop, Moon & Sea….god, I love those songs. I can’t listen to this album casually, it has to be low-light, no distractions, headphones, or driving on a lonesome highway somewhere at night. PK outdid himself with stellar guitar work on these tracks. What with “Pharmakoi” and the blurred SK image, I knew it was opiate-related. I’m happy you’re off the gear, but have always been so impressed with this album. I feel like I’m reading Lennon’s comments where he did the song-by-song listing in an interview and dismissed some of his works as “throwaways” that were outstanding. This album is special to me; holds a highly-honored place in my collection. Your comments have been revealing. “Traitor” – a chronicle of my own sad transaction of soul for income with this corporate entity I sold out to too long ago.

    (side note: thanks Veleska, he’s doing better)

  40. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 6:02 pm #

    Yeah. The Refo:mation album is the best Church album the Church never made!!
    Some really great (spaced out) tunes! It deserves a remastering and rereleasing with some extra tunes added (there are some floating around, aren`t there??)
    Anyway, a piece of music much appreciated!

  41. avatar
    davem | 1 June 2007 at 6:37 pm #

    Oooh that old subconscious.
    I posted first early this morning and have had a shite day. My life over the last 4 years has been so positive after a difficult few years before that.
    But then……. it’s an absolutely glorious evening in blighty – sun blazing, wine in hand. I’m lucky enough to have about 300 feet of rear garden and it’s looking stunning (not too ordered but stunning nonetheless – btw 300 feet in england is quite large, may be small to other parts of the world i know). Missus is out getting indian head doobie wotsit and here’s me listening in the sun to …..MATS. Must’ve been recorded in the midst of your shit, esskay.
    Sooooo….this is a long way around of saying:

    “Steve, I’m so pleased that you’ve turned your life around. You’ve so blessed my life. I love you.”


  42. avatar
    CSTCoach | 1 June 2007 at 6:46 pm #

    i really liked refo:mation. some first rate tracks on there – Don’t Move, Traitor, Florian Trout was cool, etc. I got this just before i moved to japan. Dabble came out while i was over there, and i got Hex around that time too. I used to finish work at 9pm, come home and write until 2 or 3am. Then i’d put some choich on the headphones for an hour or so to wind down, and sit there quietly, dreaming of a time when my work would begin to pay off… It was a highlight of my day to listen to that stuff after the work was done, seeking the depths in it, hearing new notes, catching new lyrical nuances,…

    i do find it sad and a bit uncomfortable, though, to read about your low period. i guess cause you paint it so vividly and unapologetically. perhaps also because i realize that while i was enjoying this music i had no idea the anguish and misery that was going into parts of it. it also makes me wonder how much else we dont know, when it comes to favourite books and music…

    glad you made it through all that, druid. i think ya turned out pretty well after all…


  43. avatar
    gator | 1 June 2007 at 7:15 pm #

    “long stupid rambling free associations that no one follows”

    wait. I thought you were clean now! LOL

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 7:30 pm #

    ha ha, Steve, youΒ΄re an anaconda man!!

  45. avatar
    kat | 1 June 2007 at 7:40 pm #

    it was 40 years ago today.. sgt. pepper taught the band to play ;]

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 8:38 pm #

    and the world has never been the same since (or has it?). Well, since Lucy passed this way on her trip through the Skies with Diamonds, the world has definitely changed, but there`s always one or two who didn`t notice…… So for some the old show goes on, for a few others the Void beckons…

  47. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 1 June 2007 at 9:44 pm #

    Thanks Sk and friends for talking about Refo:Mation. I just purchased it from Amazon.Com. Four reviewers declared that it is awesome. It was not available at Church merchandise. On another subject it is astounding to read that so many celebrities declare that they are vegetarians who eat fish. They don’t know that these swimming, lively creatures are sentient?

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 9:53 pm #

    November 98…the Roxy….was 4 months pregnant….was there with my{now ex}partner/husbandthing…he suddenly “only appreciative of my gifts,if they were directed towards other women”……I felt it again,and i heard you loud and clear in the ether……..oh!jesus baby..i am so sorry! ………if it had have been some other dynamic…!?? it is ..i suppose…maybe? why?i am in the space mow?!talk talk,,i dont know?i ll find the reason……..never discounting anything/

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 June 2007 at 10:00 pm #

    Was it John English trying to line you up for the xmas pantos? Or perhaps for another season of Pirates? Or even Are you Being Served… you could play Captain Peacock methinks!

  50. avatar
    kat | 1 June 2007 at 10:02 pm #

    ha ha sk as captain peacock, that is priceless! captain kilbey.. i love that show..

  51. avatar
    mattdavison | 1 June 2007 at 10:22 pm #

    I hope it was Iva!! Both of you are gonna meet me for one of Englands finest.. (great)

    Sk: Seriously I Imagine, I know exactly..How you felt back then
    you were going through your re-formation.

    I have had, and still have an addiction. For 15 years……………. It has cost me EVERYTHING
    my acting career, my art, half a million hard earned dolleros.

    my pride
    my security, my enjoyment of the years of counciling (thanks David) and everything else you can imagine.

    For what?????????????????????????

    Escapism my friend… To escape what Steven..What

    Fear and pain.. the wows of the world, The creative void.

    A possible Mantra
    A place to hide…..

    You don’t live there anymore SK
    Don’t drive past that house-

    Tell me the same.


  52. avatar
    zebob | 1 June 2007 at 10:57 pm #

    I’ve been fortunate not to feel the urge to imbibe too excess, but the urge to drink runs in my family. One uncle drank himself to death. My brother was headed that way; there was no getting between him and his drink. He lost his job and disappeared. I gave him up for dead but then he reappeared and managed to sober up. It’s been about 5 years now. A miracle if I ever saw one.
    Thanks to SK and everyone for sharing their stories.
    Matt, I hope you can shake that monkey off your back.

  53. avatar
    Cretaceous Man | 2 June 2007 at 12:10 am #

    I love Refo: It’s one of those CD’s I like to listen to when I am feeling especially mischevious. It puts me in the right frame of mind for ducking down alleys and strolling by the seaside on a moonlight drive. I understand thought that drugs depsite their sometimes harsh and desprate side effects can do the equal and opposite and deliver a connection with the divine, ulitmately allowing complete detachment form the body and mind. Oh, that double edged sword of Damocles hanging above my head.

  54. avatar
    mattdavison | 2 June 2007 at 12:21 am #

    Zebob- Falling into a storm is what its like…cheers man

    With that, big bangs in the sky, the air swerling down slowly. Small rain dripplets..

    every three or so seconds

    Out to look if the great volcano RANGITOTO has started to erupt.. Aucky has 64 active volcanos

    Look out to the silluetteof the humdred mountain (only 3 k from my house sitting in the turquoise sea..

    ZAP ZAP.. purple flashes and green afterglow.. a storm over the mountain.. Wow
    5 min ago in the great city of Auckland..


    ps) Ironic eh!!

    People of foreign decent google “rangitoto” awesome

    Might go have a EB Tea.

  55. avatar
    A night templar | 2 June 2007 at 1:36 am #

    fool me once shame on….you?
    ……….fool me……twice?! aw hell!..

  56. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2007 at 2:45 am #

    I KNOW that theres no foolin YOU MR TEMPLAR…we offer you a sainthood if we could

  57. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2007 at 3:10 am #


  58. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2007 at 3:39 am #

    So glad you turned your life around sk, and that you’re still here with us. We’ve lost too many people because of the evil demon h.
    It took a lot of guts for you to beat it, admire you a lot for that.

    Really need a sk/church fix. Still no news of solo/group gigs.
    Even if its not for awhile, just to know you will play in Sydley will chase the winter blues away.
    Had to make do lassa nite with 0408 blaring through the headphones. The more I hear that song the more I love it.

    You take care & enjoy the beautiful sunny sat arvo with the fambley (now I wanna hear “Song in the Afternoon”).

    Peace & love,

  59. avatar
    Orwellian | 2 June 2007 at 3:43 am #

    I think it’s time for a jump in the sea.

  60. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2007 at 4:02 am #

    Hey stevie,

    R u going to the guitar expo at UNSW this weekend? Wall to wall guitars! I’m hoping to go but unlikey becauase of work…..if you do go let me know how it was.


  61. avatar
    si kli | 2 June 2007 at 5:06 am #

    June arrives……
    You lucky bastard. Last time i was in Sydney i headed stright for the Maltese bakery and they had just shut 1/2 hour prior. Then had to go that night. Frozen supermarket ones are just filo-oily-cheesie crap.
    Hope you choke oh gluttonous vegie- king (lol)

  62. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2007 at 5:07 am #

    Not proud to say I’ve had a very similar experience, including pawning off my studio one piece at a time & expending massive amounts of time, dollars and self-respect. Same time period too, with your splendiferous music as a soundtrack (then and always).
    While in Sydney on my pilgrimage (I survived on the local methadone) I went by that studio in Rozelle…I can see the street.

    Have to say Starling st. was a bit of a disappointment (nice song though)

    c escherbach canada

  63. avatar
    melquiades | 2 June 2007 at 5:09 am #

    “falling into a nice coma
    while listening to the music
    (my fave past time)”

    Makes me think of the JF Snow Job inset where you were looking so languid and in another’s dream. I love that photo.

  64. avatar
    sheople | 2 June 2007 at 5:28 am #

    Dearest Divine Bringer of Music and Creation,

    you have filled the void
    you have singled out the single most issue of the human condition
    you have alleviated the minions
    you have brought light to the dark places
    and darkness to the false faces

    Feel well in your wished and
    know that your vulture shoulder
    is in full effect, man.
    In fact, right now on the water there
    rocks a boat gently to sleep
    with a captain knowing he’s filled the ship with divine categories

  65. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 June 2007 at 5:28 am #

    it was brian mannix, wasn’t it?

    p.s. in my first ever job I used to have a photo of you on my wall…everyone I used to work with would come in, see it and say, ‘why do you have a photo of David Cassidy on the wall?’…and spookily, it’s true – you definitely have your moments when you looked like him.

  66. avatar
    time will change us | 2 June 2007 at 5:29 am #


    those of us

    who love you more than

    words can speak

    in each passing day

    more than songs can illuminate

    your heart beats

    and every breath

    a gift

    for those of us who share

    an inner


    an inner gift

    of hope

    of tomorrow

    of the essence

    do not despair o loved one

    for you are greatly loved

    by so many, more than you could ever know,

    life is at last, the most fragile

    and painful and joyous


    we will ever know

    dream, sweet one, dream of now



  67. avatar
    ~ | 2 June 2007 at 7:14 am #

    forget about the passing of time
    ah those moments
    everyone’s favourite past time
    what we abuse or
    what we use
    our own belief in our ability to choose
    liberation or imprisonment of the self
    not an easy choice
    either way
    much respect for your strength and courage, for choosing to be free from that poison despite the suffering it caused you to break those chains


  68. avatar
    fantasticandy | 2 June 2007 at 7:59 pm #

    nice to be one of ‘all the bloody rest’.
    cheers steve!

    the neptunous one.

  69. avatar
    ...still don't know what I was waiting for | 3 June 2007 at 12:45 am #

    we come on-so quick

    then we go away

    shall we ‘live’ alittle


    or do we care to know


    β€œI” really exists?

    the past


    an excuse

    not to “live” when we know


    really matters is

    the earth and the sky,


    the gentle rain


    the blackness

    and the light

    and one another

    because time

    is empty




    too much


    too much gratification

    too much pain

    too much pleasure

    perhaps someday

    there will be a


    and in it

    someone will


    “this never could have


    without you…”


    how true


    will be

  70. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 June 2007 at 3:28 am #

    Matt D, I only know of you through this spot, but my heart sank reading your comment. Only Saturday, my husband’s birthday, spent talking with his Mum and Dad of his brother lost,took his own life after realising he couldn’t live as what he had become, couldn’t face the ones who loved him because he lied lied lied and took from and betrayed. Fooled us, said his wife had a gambling problem, could we lend him this and that…The day after he died, after my husband had to drive the car he gassed himself in after going to identify his body (no one should ever have to do that), he then had to gather the cash converter dockets and buy back all the stuff he could get back, including his prized Fender Strat. No, don’t drive past the neighbourhood let alone the house, Matt get out while you can. We still hurt and always will.

    Sad smiles, Kate

  71. avatar
    rubikon | 5 June 2007 at 1:17 am #

    There’s some great stuff on Refo
    :mation – I love “All See It Now” -one of my favourite “Church” tracks.

    I was so relieved to hear that you had got yourself off the gear – I think we were all a little worried about you back then.

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