posted on May 10, 2009 at 5:30 am

i am a shard
i am as brittle
as i am hard
i am as stupid
as i am smart
here as i am
lodged in your heart
on a cold sunday afternoon
on a beach
on a hill
in a faded sepia photograph
everyones life oozes out in congealing moments
i had dug a hook deep into the night
but morning had dragged me down by my heels
and i tumbled onto the floor moaning
my mind lay exposed
and i picked amongst the exploded suitcases
and tickets flew away into the wind
and i walked across a bare field after them
and the forests whispered amongst them selves allaround
people rifled through my memories
people took out my poor old re-examined childhood
people pretended to live my life
they tried to imagine it
my mother came out and-a shushed them all away
go home you stupid children ! she muttered as she slammed the front door
roses grew up over wrought-iron trellises
aunty fruity had come around to seduce me
but mummy didnt want me stay with her
aunty fruity took off her nightie
her white english flesh was like peaches and cream
steven can you help me with this ?she said
i crossed the room
the lovely timber floors
the crimson curtains
steven can you bring me my wine?
aunty fruity had a goblet full of yellow bubbling wine
she was smoking a cigarette too
steven can you rub my beauty ointment into my back?
she rolled onto her stomach
her back was like the steppes of russia to me
plains and hills and gentle undulation
yes aunty fruity…..
steven are you going to rub in my ointment?
the ointment came out of the tube with a little squelch
it sat on my fingers cool and viscous
it had a lovely smell
i have never smelt that smell since
somewhere between medicinal and sickly floral
i applied it to her shoulders and i rubbed it in
my fingers took to it instantly
my fingers hummed and vibrated all over aunty fruitys white back
ooh thats nice steven said aunty fruity and wriggling a bit
the phone rang
it was my mother asking if i had been behaving myself
as good as gold said aunty fruity winking at me
a song came on the radio
there was a kind of sitar guitar riff
the singer wailed behind a wall of phase
in the memories of unforgotten dreams
the bass guitar climbed out of the speakers
and bounced around the room
like a big rubbery shadow
it was nebulous and insistent
i was kissing something white and soft
the smell of the ointment in my flaring nostrils
the music on the radio blared orgiastically
the speakers quivered and responded
the low end rumbled and pumped
my memory was rupturing
yes aunty fruity…?!
ooh yes love just there
just like that
oh i’m all tense
oh thats nice
youre very good at this, arent you…?
the phone rings
its uncle hugo
he yells down the phone at aunty fruity
piss off then !she says as she hangs up
she giggles and curls up on her side
silly man! she says
yes aunty fruity….
those damp boardshorts will chafe your thighs
aunty fruity looked at my thighs
yes dear theyre all chafed
she began to rub in her beauty ointment on my thighs
does that feel better dear? she asked as she rubbed n rubbed
a bee was caught in the window
it buzzed against the screen
i could hear it over the psychedelic racket on the radio
aunty fruity pauses in her ministrations
maybe a little here she says
yes aunty fruity i say
thats very nice indeed i say
suddenly the memory stops
i shake out the bag but its empty
i squeeze the tube but its gone
its not then
i’m standing here in this field
and its getting dark
and i’m on my own out here
looking through my old stuff
thats blowing across these barren fields
and catching on the light
the debris of a lifetime
exploded all over the place
the true and the false

22 Responses to “plain crash”

  1. avatar
    small fingers | 10 May 2009 at 7:23 am #

    she pointed
    to the

    the shapes

    of your

  2. avatar
    Richard | 10 May 2009 at 7:26 am #


  3. avatar
    fantasticandy | 10 May 2009 at 8:04 am #

    hot damn!
    those skilled hands strike again……..

  4. avatar
    heatherdaydream | 10 May 2009 at 9:34 am #

    bleak…riprova sari pui fortunato….

  5. avatar
    davem | 10 May 2009 at 10:08 am #

    All I ever got off my Auntie was a clip ’round the ear.

  6. avatar
    princey | 10 May 2009 at 10:37 am #

    Auntie Fruitcake memories = creeeeeepy , enjoyed the rest though killsy with the killer thighs:)
    luv amanda

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 May 2009 at 10:38 am #

    Hi. I have some comments about U#23. Actually some (hopefully taken as “constructive”) criticism, from a near 25-year fan. There are some really good songs here, no doubt about that. Also probably the most mellow release to date. “Happenstance” is a particular fave. Ever since TP started producing Church albums, however, I hear the same “problems” (to my ears anyway): muddy, over-processed ambient sound, and thudding drums n’crashing cymbals that sap energy from songs. Perhaps this is part of the band’s evolution in sound(?) Not suggesting a return to the 80’s or anything, but I’m curious what the records would sound like with a different producer. Has the band settled on Tim as permanent man for the job? Was wondering who you’d like to work with if you decided in the future to go with “a different man” (pun intended). Look forward to hearing the new songs live next month on the US tour!

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 May 2009 at 11:15 am #


    perfect reading when listening to when u were mine drunk on a mothers day sunday nite…

  9. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 10 May 2009 at 11:51 am #

    oh shit steve i don’t quite know what to say….haunting and haunted…
    love always….

  10. avatar
    Freddie | 10 May 2009 at 3:52 pm #

    This is the kind of thing which I don’t know how to comment on because I’m not sure if it really happened or if you’re making it up. So I’ll say that you really took me there and it was a strange place, surreal, yes but at the same time all too real and a little uncomfortable.

    Love to you,

  11. avatar
    Altres | 10 May 2009 at 5:00 pm #

    Hey Steve, I listened to Untitled #23 at the summit of Ben Nevis yesterday. Must be a first for the album. Standing on an icefield in a cloud freezing my balls off with On Angel Street blowing through my ears. Life doesn’t get better.

    On the way down up it was Painkiller. File Under Travel was seriously motivational for the steep bit at 1000 meters. At night in the bunkhouse I took my acoustic and had about a dozen people singing Under The Milky Way. LOL

    Thanks for livin’ and givin’ Steve.



  12. avatar
    EDD | 10 May 2009 at 7:57 pm #

    Here I am….stranded in this life…

  13. avatar
    steve kilbey | 10 May 2009 at 9:00 pm #

    anon at 8.38
    can you help with the next one?

  14. avatar
    Thelonious | 10 May 2009 at 10:26 pm #

    honest SK but harrowing.

  15. avatar
    anon 8.38 | 10 May 2009 at 10:45 pm #

    Sure, I can try! First I’ll need to take some courses in recording engineering/mixing, though. It may be awhile… Other than that, I can just offer my unprofessional advice as a listener right now. So what I’d do as producer is make those drums really snap (like on P=A, but not as snappy as say on Seance), or maybe a bit punchier with a warm sound (e.g. Heyday), as opposed to the thick/heavy way they are being recorded under TP–they sound flat and “thuddy” to me, when the sticks hit those skins. Of course this has nothing to do with TP’s drumming ability–seen the man live a few times now and he’s definitely up there with Ploog and JD!!! I also do really like his producing style overall. He records sound in an interesting and intuitive way, reminding me of Daniel Lanois at times the way he processes and filters stuff. At the same time, Lanois’ production techniques can sometimes be a bit detrimental to a project, because that Lanois “signature sound” is stamped all over the music and it often shares too much affinity with previous projects. Anyways, I’ll give you a buzz when I get my certificate from the music college, should I learn any skills which I can offer. Peace to you, SK!

  16. avatar
    loolaabillions | 11 May 2009 at 12:39 am #


    gripping my chair
    n’ squirming
    at this one….xx

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 May 2009 at 1:21 am #

    you are lovely
    you always were
    but no-one can have you
    only you
    every day you have lovely you
    to embrace or disgrace the world with

    I hate that people dont seem to appreciate your ownership of your self
    Its a bit succubi, what happens to people like you in the hands of the public
    Treasure yourself
    Mr Kilbey- de quincy
    Cos we live in a world of many takers and few givers of the stuff that inspires life.
    If it doesnt have a dollar value
    It gets devalued
    Beauty, the earth and its healing power is a gift,
    As yet unfunded.

    (Cant buy the album yet,
    But am so looking forward to it)

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 May 2009 at 2:54 am #

    eu sou o pedaço separado do todo
    eu sou tão quebrável
    quanto sou duro
    eu sou tão estúpido
    quanto sou esperto
    aqui, como eu sou
    alojado em seu coração.

    Ah, luck potion worked. Good thoughts, good thoughts. My brother and I reconciled, he asked for forgiveness for the first time (and it was not like I put myself in a position of forgiver) and another certain step was taken towards my inheritance. The outcome of course has some deep pain involved. But I am a happy sister tonight. And more important, a happy heart (wink).

  19. avatar
    heyday2day | 11 May 2009 at 2:54 am #

    anon, about the production…i responded on the womb about the same topic and i just don’t hear muddy production. indeed, tis a different sound than pre 98 albums but the tracks being recorded have quiet a different feel than the earlier stuff and to my ears the production fits. i’m not an expert (or really even an amateur) but if you change the way tracks are recorded/produced don’t you then change the textures, nuances, etc..? it’s subtle and works beautifully for me the way it sounds now. i’m afraid if you change the sound too much that you lose some of the subtelty and feel. can’t lose any of that.

    steve, creepy blog today. surreal and a bit disconcerting.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 May 2009 at 3:50 am #

    Ooh err Missus – Frankie Howerd would be proud of this blog.
    …and another thing…
    Maybe if 8.38 Anon read the liner notes of U#23 he or she would see that there were 4 people credited with production duties this time.
    Not to mention the fact that Tim’s 3 bandmates were sure to have had their say.

    Lay off the Timmie fella.
    Belfanon 😉

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 May 2009 at 4:38 am #

    Anon 8.38 has a bit of a point. Also, I wish someone would change that damn goofy grin on the mona lisa. Pisses me off.

    Eddie Hayseed USA

  22. avatar
    EDD | 11 May 2009 at 9:03 pm #

    I’d make the drums sound more like a piano…HAHA

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