posted on September 18, 2007 at 2:37 am

dead crabs lay on the bottom of the icebergs pool
the water is cold
what am i doing swimming in here today
its grey and windy
the ocean is metallic with white crests appearing
bondi is dull and deserted
just the endless building and renovation
the same olde tiresome characters (like me)
the same olde dips n trips
everything gets on my nerves
my energy ebbs away
even this blog pisses me off
why am i writing it again?
i see some little idiot virus has infested the comments again
i can hardly be bothered squashing it
i see people are having conversations there
after i asked them not to
i see some people do appreciate that im trying to give em
the dark stuff
i write my blog live
and if i feel bad
it all goes in
this is an experiment
im telling you the truth
something has upset the applecart
what is this subtle alteration
that changes everything?
why does everything seem so meaningless suddenly?
yes it must have been the buzzz
or something…
yes ive been going a bit hard lately
its all caught up with me
but im not pleading hard done-by
almost every bad thing
that ever happened to me
was done by
well i wanted to feel high
then i had to feel low
i wanted bliss
then i got despair
i wanted out
but i got stuck further in
i wanted to fly
so i had to fall
oh i knew all of this
so long ago
i write my blog
its there for everyone to read
doesnt everyone get sick of themselves sometimes?
im a lot to be sick of…
im incessant
i dont switch off
my songs n words
my bad reviews
my scornful neglect
my anger and my revenge
my guilt
my sense of hopelessness
my delusions of grandeur
my cancerous envy
my smart remarks
my grovelling insincerity
my brutal desire
my wheedling whining whinging ways
my stupid accent
my tedious addictions
my self righteous baloney
its all going round n round
on the bad days
on the days you dont see me round that much
on the days with dead crabs and squashed cockroaches
the days bills arrive
the days of refusals and overdue accounts
the days that are always slow and heavy
days when no ones home
days when no ones answering
days when theyve run out of the good stuff
and no one’ll lend ya a hundred bucks
and people are trying to find ya
dropping hints
laying on hexes n curses
changing it all around
laughing at me for being a fool
hissing at me for being a villain
clawing at me cos i was somebodys hero
hiding in the shadows n periphery
taking potshots at me
taking down my posters
taking my identity
taking my living out of my hands
black september
tuesday afternoon
minna arrives
nervy n jumpy as she is
shes so lovely to look at
ah thats just narcissism talking
its how you looked at 16 isnt it
now thats long ago
long long ago
in 1970
that was 37 years ago time being
since you were sweet sixteen
with your prince valiant haircut
n yer little blue mazda
all those days n nights that passed
like ripples on a black lake
minna with it all before her
you with it all behind ya
the glory days
the gravy train
the legendary glow of olde times
you never think youll ever be fifty said dad n laughed
now im sitting here with my teenager
i want to get through but i dont know how
a bit like you n me, dad, i suppose
you knew by the time i was ready to talk
itd probably be too late
and now i fear the same thing
everything i say sounds silly to a 16 year olde
be careful
be home early
call me if you need me
yeah yeah dad sure sure
now i got all this advice
no one can listen to it
now i got all these ideas
no ones interested
just when i came good
it all started going bad
when i became honest
i had to let sleeping dogs lie
blah blah blah blah blah
me me me me me
eeny miney meany mo fo
what else?
what else could there be?
funny how you chase one thing
you catch another
but we all knew that
didnt we?
nothing new here
im just sitting in this feeling trying to figure it out
sinking in the quicksand
emptiness is so frightening
no reason to be good or bad
no reason to show up or bow out
no reason to write
no reason to comment
no reason to answer my own questions
and the end?
it draws closer
the end of this blog
the end of this day
the end of this life
the end of ends
crawling like a snail
suddenly rushing up on ya
like it did for grant
and johnny lennon
and tyrone power
and ann boleyn
and shakespeare fading away by my age
and nijinsky who burnt brightly n then rotted
and manfred von richtofen who fell out the sky
and all the other dead-uns
thats the ground rushing up to meet ya
thats the edge of the precipice
thats the abyss, buddy
do ya like the way it feels
gonna have to walk that black corridor
gonna have to walk thru that storm
and lose everything again
but i still believe
after that
will be
the light

96 Responses to “plexus”

  1. avatar
    Thelonious | 18 September 2007 at 4:30 am #

    SK,sorry you feel so low. Not much I can say. Try & get some sun & not think too hard about things. Whack on Maya & go and lie on your back and watch the clouds. Gotta make you feel better. Regards,

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 4:58 am #

    Nah, at the end there is nothing, no light, but that’s OK. It’s good to be down, life is like that, it’s all here right now, just around the corner is the next greatest thing. It’s depressing to think of time and ageing, that’s the curse of the time being, you’re aware of the end, ever since you were little you could sense it, a blink of an eye and you will be on your death bed, and you will have already seen it. This whole feeling reminds me of the books Slaughterhouse Five or the Unbearable Lightness of Being, the grandeur of life’s mysteries. What I usually do is get even more introspective, meditate on the true nature of things, try and shut out the voices in my head, the incessant chatter of the modern world, get back to nature, go bush and/or have a play with my kid’s. Nothing like kid’s to knock you back to ‘reality’. But there is nothing I can tell you, your funk is your own, you’re the time being and you burden is…endless. Respect

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 5:12 am #

    Hi, I’m a new reader and have just discovered you play music also.
    I tracked down a CD here in Nairobi and I liked it a lot. I then discover you have a lot more so I will have to try and track it all down now. Just wanted to touch base and say thanks.
    From Dakarai in Nairobi

  4. avatar
    damien | 18 September 2007 at 5:34 am #

    You’re preaching to the choir today, SK.

  5. avatar
    the dean | 18 September 2007 at 5:52 am #

    My old man said “one day I woke up and I was 50”
    Borges said “everything happens in the present”

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 5:55 am #

    in a fragile balance,it’s difficult sometimes to tell which is the strongest and most powerful it the mind n soul that truly have authority over the body..?you are definitely on the right track with your meditation n yoga SK..though the moon,I’m sure,would be moving between libra n scorpio..thats always a conflicting time…the heightened passionate polarities of scorpio,and the inhumanity of the libran curse of weighing up,,and in so doing, remaining static …Welcome to the staccato September! are a bit tough on yourself sometimes,sk!…i know you are,coz,i see it in your words,and its something that i recognize in myself…if your girls inherited your brainz,and your big heart,and the looks…you’ve not much reason to worry..they’ll be pussycatz..and always land on their feet..xxxxx{a kiss for all o them} love,as always,and a wish for shinier times to come..gen x …P.S.naughty commentors?…let them eat cake!{coz I’VE got pie!}:-)

  7. avatar
    interested party | 18 September 2007 at 6:26 am #

    gen xxx , he’s talking about you. you are the one who keep monopoizing this section. He’s over it and we’re all over it. get you’re own blog. its never too late to just strike out on your own with it and have your personal convos on yoiur OWN blog. no disrespect, yiu seem a nice chick…but how many times do you have to be asked? i just skip all the comments from you and arty farty as it’s just crap that doen’t interesrt anyone else.
    take the hint, please gen.

  8. avatar
    verdelay | 18 September 2007 at 6:30 am #

    Fraid you gotta wait it out
    Biochemical chimera
    The ebb that permits the flow
    Bitter morning after pill
    Time toys with ya
    Like a cat with a bird
    Just gotta take it
    Wait it out
    Outlast eternity
    Light is just a visual metaphor
    What if yer blind?
    What if the claw has pierced yer eye?
    What light is left
    When all is dead and dark?
    Just ask the bird
    As it floats up into the aether
    What light feels like

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 6:48 am #

    once again – sorry you are miserable – the way you articulate it is pretty amazing though – when i feel like that i couldn’t begin put it into words with such accuracy – is this what it means for an ‘artiste’ to suffer for their work – or does the way you feel now nullify any gratification you might get from producing these words. dead crabs indeed.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 7:01 am #

    “interested party” are you blind or just plain stupid?

  11. avatar
    craig1.618 | 18 September 2007 at 7:19 am #

    tearing our own wings off to be here

    we will be showered in light

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 7:20 am #

    death may be waiting us, steve, that’s true, but i figure that it’s better to be born and die than never to be born at all…take care, mate, we’re here with you…kick that black dog’s ass…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 7:54 am #

    thanks for your concern “interested party”…thanks for assuming that i am a “nice chick n all”…another of my outstanding virtues is “ignorance when faced with dictatorships/dictatorial folks like your good Just leave it out,will you!? is too short for “cheap toilet paper”,and when you make yourself appear to be exactly that T.P. you will only recieve a flushing from me!..with as much respect in return,as you have given to me . please take the time to enjoy your life,and practice honourable,honest and positive communication..or you’ll give yourself a stomach ulcer..but i’m sensing that you may actually have one already,….gen x

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:03 am #

    @ interested party

    Thankyou for pointing out a very unfortunate aspect of this (wonderful) blog….the inane self-indulgence in the comments. Thought you could use some support, cause you’ll most certainly get some abuse.

    Michael S.
    San Diego

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:20 am #

    did you wankers fail the comprehension exam?good on you genxxxx fuckin give it to em

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:22 am #

    “Youth is wasted on the young” – Oscar Wilde
    “I finally get my head together and my body starts falling apart!” – frivoulous public servant email on aging

    the dishes must always be done; the garbage must always be put out; life is prosaic as well as astounding

    after that will be peace and a big big love

    Hey I watched Excalibur last night; that made me feel better – perhaps “Finding Nemo” with the doodles? might relieve your funk


  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:24 am #

    ps; Hello Dakarai in Nairobi!


  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:41 am #

    hey genxy,I happen to think your writing is complementary to TTB.I can see why you and SK are friends.youre both time beings.keep it up.dont stop sounds like a jealous loser is feeling threatened by must be a bitch but after seeing your photo{wheres it gone by the way}id imagine youre used to people being jealous of are much more beautiful than your looks. …/M

  19. avatar
    mattdavison | 18 September 2007 at 9:07 am #

    Oh I… I believe I will find it there some day…castaway, just out a reach driven by the storm somewhere, oh I believe I believe………..

    I spin in time
    I resist the sound of my opus

    I crawl
    belted by the nocturnal happpenings of my mind

    drawing, sketching, some random picture of a future

    crying without tears



    What would have been
    What will be
    what will be

    effect me god

    tell me it will be ok.


  20. avatar
    Goddess{thanks very much} | 18 September 2007 at 9:41 am #

    md,It’s alright.It’s going to be alright! peace and universal omnipresent love.HAVE FAITH.

  21. avatar
    the celts | 18 September 2007 at 10:00 am #

    ha-ha !look out filthy romans.Boudicca’s got a keyboard!luv ya wicked woman you….

  22. avatar
    slow-thinking pig | 18 September 2007 at 10:55 am #

    Sounds like the old existential ennui there, Steve. Hard to imagine what it takes to make a man of your calibre envious. I can see why you’d struggle with feeling resentful, yeah – cos by Christ, you don’t appear to have a 50th of the money or acclaim that you should have. But envious?
    After being that damn handsome, having that many women, having so much talent and a 28-year career? Guess it’s easy for the likes of us to forget that you’re as susceptible to normal human responses as the rest of us.

    Me, I looked like a godawful fucking mess when I was 16.
    Felt it and thought it too.
    No hope, no opportunities, no relief from the unrelenting fucking tedium of life as a flatline dullard without looks, personality, money, physique, talent, blah, y’know. Even at that age I knew it was going to be like this til I karked it. Haven’t been wrong so far.

  23. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 18 September 2007 at 10:57 am #


    this is just how it is

    cycles within cycles within cycles

    flows and ebbs and flows


    if it was permanence you wanted, you wouldn’t have come here

    walk gently


    bear the brunt!

    it’s life BEFORE death that matters here


  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 11:06 am #

    Today is not forever.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 11:13 am #

    i’ve just exercised the bejesus out of myself and i find that this helps to get rid of negative vibes…sweat it out and just switch off for a while…by god it clears your head and makes you feel good…
    rock on, jenx
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  26. avatar
    another interested party | 18 September 2007 at 11:15 am #

    gen and art whoever the fuck you are

    i quote

    ‘i see people are having conversations there
    after i asked them not to’

    Steve Kilbey
    Tuesday 09/18/07

    which bit don’t you get? which bit do you think don’t apply to you? which bit of your self indulgent crap do you think interests people which anonymous comment pledging love to you do think the majority of commenters here think is just you writing to yourself? its a simple request – keep it relevent. get your own blog if you want to have private gab fests with your thousands of admirers. it shouldnt have to get to this point where people are begging you to shutup should it? take the hint.

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 11:17 am #

    Sorry to admit, i could do with less Gen x here as well.

    Just ebing honest.

  28. avatar
    Faint | 18 September 2007 at 11:36 am #

    Whiooooosh! Big wave of writing slapped me in the face. best stuff for me; when you connect to that ol ocean – that restless, hungry feelin that don’t do no man no good… gnaw, gnaw damn existential gnaw till it goes… Tide goes out. Churning days with the wind and the big windswept tides. Till it goes…. Exhilarating writing, thanks. Where is El?


  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:09 pm #

    you are a bunch of self righteous twits..if you dont like reading Art’s n genx’s comments,just skip em..and get over it hipocracy now for you to be writing your “viral tripe”.keep it relevant.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:21 pm #

    mother always said “use your words”, but still i choose not to.
    i just sent money thru the honesty box. hope you feel better now.

    another richard

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:24 pm #

    Hi Steve,
    I’ve only just discovered your blog and so far have just read a few posts. It’s funny but I’m pretty sure that it was one of your lyrics that depressed and gave me hope years ago. lol. Something about “Life speeds up. Then it slows…….” I often think of this when I look at my own children and try to imagine how long a day seems to them. When for me it’s over so quickly.
    My longer days are the ones that I spend feeling passionate about whatever it is that I am doing. Coincidently they are also my happiest days. Then there are the black days where the bleakness of it all turns everything grey. Waiting for the sunshine after a storm in the afternoon.
    As someone else commented –
    Ebbs and flows.

    Thanks for the soundtrack for my 20s.


  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:26 pm #

    futuresight,premonition…never far off I’m afraid…peace..great blogge,by the way,as per usual SK. x

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:27 pm #


    it is relevant. it relates directly to todays blog. can none of you read english? he asked them nicely to stop it. i still think gen is just writing to herself over and over. read yestewrdays last few dribbly comments if you dont believe me.

  34. avatar
    eek | 18 September 2007 at 12:28 pm #

    Any advice I’d give would just sound trite and condescending, so I won’t give any.

    Instead I’ll say Thank You. For the music, for the poetry, for the art, for this blog — for you. You have said many times that we don’t see the whole you — that no one does — and I believe that. But what you have allowed us to see, the part of you you have exposed, is astonishing. I know I’m not willing to do it — and no one reads my crap anyway so it wouldn’t really expose me in any way. But with you it does.

    Thank you for allowing me this peek into you. I feel honoured and humbled to be part of this experiment.

  35. avatar
    eek | 18 September 2007 at 12:45 pm #

    another richard at 10:21pm — money talks; bullshit comments, eh?

    That’s all I could think when I read your comment and I had to laugh. 🙂
    Dakarai — Hi and enjoy discovering all of SK’s and the Church’s music. It’s quite a musical adventure! 🙂

  36. avatar
    restaurant mark | 18 September 2007 at 12:53 pm #

    thanks for your time and effort steve…appreciate you letting us in on the good days and the ones that feel lost…

    take care man


  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:56 pm #

    Don’t worry Kilbey, we all hate ourselves- it’s the curse of the modern world.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 1:18 pm #

    anon at 10:27…my only reply to you is…it reveals a great void in YOUR psyche,that YOU could conceive of someone having imaginary conversations with makes you look rather pathetic and borderline psychotic,that my comments and conversations,and “friendlies” annoy you so much…and if you did your research you would discover that because of my vision impairment,hence my computer program,i cannot “tab” my writings,nor can i use the function that gives a title other than anonymous…so please get a grip on your issues,and divert your malfunctions towards something constructive,like looking at your own mess.I’m sorry for you,and any damage in your life,which has caused your bitterness,but dont vent it on me..find someone inYOUR physical world,with whom you can have a consequencial and productive release of your bitterness..I am not YOUR fight!…peace.for gods sake! ..genx

  39. avatar
    pluperfect | 18 September 2007 at 1:28 pm #

    Get to the part where a chance encounter with Bono inspired the Heyday recording process.

  40. avatar
    John Garratt | 18 September 2007 at 1:31 pm #

    Why can’t we just be fiendss?

    John Garratt

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 1:42 pm #

    After several years of anticipating beating the shit out of Bono, Rollins saw him in the street by chance but (in his own words) “wimped out cos he was with a girl.”
    Heart of hearts now, SK: do ya wish Hank had stomped the fucker?

  42. avatar
    JJ | 18 September 2007 at 2:19 pm #

    The Blue Bus is calling us,
    Driver – where you taking us?

    I have no idea what or where the destination is. Perhaps nowhere. Maybe somewhere. I try to hang on to a naive hope; I think it’s human nature. The day of knowing approaches.

  43. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 18 September 2007 at 2:34 pm #

    Somebody on Amazom.Com is making a fortune off of selling “Beside Yourself”. Twice in the past week or ten days it has sold for 150 dollars. Myriad positive reviews of The Church’s Cd permeate Amazon.Com. I’m far beyond being sick of myself but my imagination is not. Penitent!

  44. avatar
    Cee | 18 September 2007 at 2:57 pm #

    I’m sick of the pills I have to take everyday and sick of the consequences if I don’t…

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:14 pm #

    ..a wish..dfor PEACE!..a little dream of peace..and a whole lotta love to those with an open heart..the sun will come up in the morning,as it always has,and always will .g’night all!..xo

  46. avatar
    kat | 18 September 2007 at 3:29 pm #

    somewhere in there is hope. but i relate, sk. where is home? i ask myself.

    try to think sunny thoughts… trying to convince myself too..

    g’day all

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 4:21 pm #

    Thanks for making me think and look at things from different angles, Steve.
    Hope the feeling of entropy passes…by the very nature of entropy, I guess it must!

  48. avatar
    ploog's rain-rotted drum kit | 18 September 2007 at 4:22 pm #

    Chin up, beardy!

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 4:35 pm #

    If you think I’m so confectionate, you don’t really know me either.
    I’ve been reading and replying to this blog since the beginning because I think it’s important.
    And before that, and prior to this, and in the future.

    You no like, you no read…I’ll put it in terms you can understand. People will complain and that’s how things get better…sorta. OK, I’m bright enough to know how I can help with your experiment.

    In the time it takes for some complaints to be made, I made I don’t know how much $, I also made some very beautiful art and architecture.

    Art and Architecture

  50. avatar
    Leelinau | 18 September 2007 at 4:36 pm #

    I think its
    z fluoride
    in z agua.


    with so MUCH
    info, z conspirators
    DO seem ……


    And the false
    @ every cross street

    Sorry just waving my freak flag.


    Then again…….


  51. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 18 September 2007 at 4:36 pm #

    feels like ‘a’ fuckin’ “free for all” here at esskay’s expense, me wish you all ‘a’ merry X-mas early bird style…
    Mr. Feathers

  52. avatar
    davem | 18 September 2007 at 4:59 pm #

    The insight into your life you give us through TTB is wonderful.
    It hurts to see you when you’re down but I’m grateful that you share with us honestly. It’s what makes you such a great artist – you’re crushingly hard on yourself. You have enormous expectations and that sometimes leads to these lows, it’s also I’m sure part of what drives your creativity. You don’t settle for second best or mediocrity.
    I haven’t got your genius and don’t experience all the peaks and troughs that seem to accompany it.
    All I can say is I’m totally in your corner, whatever your mood – I’m for SK.

  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 5:00 pm #

    love you sk

  54. avatar
    John Garratt | 18 September 2007 at 5:10 pm #

    Someone is having a good day: my copy of “El Momento Siguente” arrived!

    “Reptile” just ended.

    Now for the Geroge Harrison tripped-out “Tantalized.” Put some music in your day, fiendss.


  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 5:36 pm #

    ev – ree thing is going wrong…
    awwwll yer songs are coming true,

    i like them grey days,
    makes the bright days all that brighter.

    had a dream last night about that pool, those crazy poisonous jellyfish were swiming all around my and glowing

    it was nice

    cheer up

  56. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 5:49 pm #

    nize dream gj

    couldn’ta said it better…the complements make things sing.

    Art and Architecture

  57. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:41 pm #

    i wanna say , cantilever , like a 72 minute version ,stadium style long n loud ..

  58. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:42 pm #


  59. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 8:43 pm #

    lovr n kisses

    the mr n mrs

  60. avatar
    sweatywheels | 18 September 2007 at 8:57 pm #

    Today I woke up and I was in Madhia, Tunisia at 36.
    Wonder where I’ll be tomorrow.

  61. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 9:10 pm #

    the extension of the envelope
    hanging over expensive dirt
    tres cher, for a fire escape
    the much anticipated…cantilever


    & $!$ *-)

  62. avatar
    CSTCoach | 18 September 2007 at 9:12 pm #

    I appreciate the dark stuff, sk. The attempt to write it out, to explore it, to suss out its roots and nuances. And i appreciate the insight into your process.

  63. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 10:06 pm #

    good morning Mr.Sparkling Kilbey!….tis another sunny one here in briz vegas today!..i apologize for the debarcle of last night’s rubbish!..i know that you put alot of time and energy into making this universe a more civilized and magical place..and you always deliver for me!’s a shame that not everyone “gets” the concept of “art for art
    ‘s sake”..i know that you appreciate the extraordinary,and so do we,your feinds..its why we’re all here..i would also like to extend an apology,on behalf of the folks whom gave “art” a tough time..hey art!”nobody expected the spanish inquisition”ha ha!..have been listening to “tin mine” this morning…I LOVE IT! takes me so many places!…thats your incredible gift Sir Kilbean! trance n Dental..{something to do with happy gas n “crowns” in there}..any procedures,that you perform are miracles in my opinion!..anyway am on the second bucket o caffeine now,so must hop to it!and get this kissin frog on the upload…love to you,and ALL feinds,peaz n love,as always,Miss Genevieve x-ray delta delta…xxxxx hope that Sierra Kilo has a spectacularly smashingly beautiful day!!!xo

  64. avatar
    lily was here | 18 September 2007 at 10:28 pm #

    That was a killer first line!

    On a day like that i either embrace totally until it passes or go out and do something out of my normal comfort zone, (like being the lollipop lady for a day 🙂 Well, I’ve never done that, but you know what i mean. Go and feed the homeless, visit lonely old ladies in hospital (imagine the sparkle you’d bring them), go incognito and busk at central … the possibilities are endless. Hope today’s a new day.

    Love Sue

  65. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 10:39 pm #

    You’re all a bunch of High Violets anyway…”Love is Blinding” *-)


  66. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 10:51 pm #


  67. avatar
    syrinx | 18 September 2007 at 11:10 pm #

    There’s nothing wrong with your accent. Not a damned THING! Randomly: been meaning to thank you and whomever else for leaving the candy trail to Popol Vuh and Oophoi. Combined with some breathing tricks, the cds played at night have contributed greatly to a new(ish) ability to fall asleep EZer and dream well. More often than not. As a friend recently put it: “Now that you’re a daywalker again…”

    I’m happy for Dakarai. So much in store for him…he has no idea.

    Hi D! 🙂

  68. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 11:16 pm #

    morning steven.

    the rain is over.
    the sun has risen up.
    … should be a beautiful day.

    and i quote,
    oh wise guy
    he said
    how does one make love stay
    and white hippy moses
    said ah…..
    first you must make friends with love
    and then you must supply love with every necessity
    bathe her precious feet in your scalding tears
    make your softened heart her pillow of stars
    bring her cloudberries with ambrosia and nepenthe
    petition her with music and memories
    refine yourself
    purify yourself
    make yourself worthy in her house
    speak soft and just words
    be a man of peace and light
    wear simple garments
    do not be afraid to be naked in her presence
    reveal yourself as you hope she would be revealed
    leave your jealousy behind for love has many lovers
    bring love your truth and honour
    bring love your finest self decked in joy and laughter
    try hard for love, do your best
    for love is easily offended
    and can depart in a single moment
    alas, never to return….

    and the people who heard his words
    knew they could be true
    and all hastened to their own houses
    to renew the search for love
    sweet sweet love
    forever and ever
    ah man

  69. avatar
    K | 18 September 2007 at 11:20 pm #

    genx, you’ve got to admit it is a bit weird that you post on her about 5 or 6 or more times a day. And you ARE having conversations with other people like he asked you not to. the only thing anyone has ever gone off at you about are these facts, but you have gone ballistic about other people’s damaged phsyches etc. People in glass houses, gen. and Art, who cares how much money you make? it’s no measure of your worth here. I think you two are really lonely, which is no crime, but you could better deal with your lonliness ELSEWHERE as Steve has asked you to. Thats the one thing neither of you will address directly unfortunatly, while you go on and on and on and on and on about everything else under the sun. you have been tolerated for long enough, can you just go away?


  70. avatar
    ed in fl | 18 September 2007 at 11:24 pm #

    Why don’t you listen to some of your Church records and realize how talented and good you are? That should cheer you up a little, no?

    ed in fl

  71. avatar
    NickFiction | 18 September 2007 at 11:34 pm #

    I don’t understand your envy my friend, you are truly rich beyond your wildest dreams. Lexus’s arre overrated……

  72. avatar
    isolde | 18 September 2007 at 11:47 pm #

    I’m torn between the light and dark
    Where others see their targets
    Divine symmetry

  73. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 11:48 pm #

    “K”…as i have said…get a grip mate..use your energy wisely..enjoy your life,and just give it a rest,and if you are reading my comments,for your own sake..stop it..because,i dont care for your words,and do believe that you are projecting..i think that youll find that it is your hostility that is being ONLY JUST TOLERATED! and let live..peace!..the net is an open case you were under the notion that it is just for your rigid n shortsighted needs.. xo

  74. avatar
    The internet police-psychology division | 19 September 2007 at 12:03 am #

    “K” you are a freakin’ stalker! get some professional help..

  75. avatar
    timf | 19 September 2007 at 12:04 am #

    beautifully dark blog today. that you feel these things we can all relate to. its like that henry rollins bit on the movie about the “happy guy” whose life is perfect…his wife is perfect, his kids are perfect, they have a perfect house, perfect friends and this 4 hour epic snore fest ends with the family in cape cod as the camera pulls away while the family flies a kite together on a perfect day…”bye, bye..feel good about yourself”…fuck that nobody wants to see that movie, the flick down the street is called “psyco manic depressive mother fucker” and the theatre is full…it starts with a guy waiting in line for a bus and decides he can’t take it any more and just starts hitting people and wrecking shit…everybody can relate to that guy as im sure we can relate to the blog you wrote today. As rollins says you know that old saying “when life hands you a lemon…make lemonade? fuck that, when life hands me a lemon…i say oh yeah! what else ya got! In our depression we see things so clearly, know one knows the things you know…you’ve seen some narly shit..alot can be learned from our depression. Henry Rollins Rules! Black Flag? I dunno, but his spoke word stuff…killer man…killer.

    luv tim

  76. avatar
    k | 19 September 2007 at 12:12 am #


    you are just sad. enough said

  77. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 12:16 am #

    “K” projecting again? gen x

  78. avatar
    k | 19 September 2007 at 12:18 am #

    like i said. enough said.

  79. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 12:21 am #

    anon 9:16am . and as my father would say “Ah gals!”X

  80. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 12:26 am #

    Thank you “K”…I’m glad you’re finished!..try and have a better day tomorrow hey? ..genx

  81. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 12:47 am #

    genx…? i’m really confused… can you see? or can’t you see? if you can’t, how can you ‘read’ all this and response so quickly…? it’s just incredible…

  82. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 12:55 am #

    Leave your comment
    and have a coke and a smile
    the genx sappiness is nauseating
    I mean take it somewhere else already
    no one needs to tell anyone how to live here
    Just have the decency to not saturate the place with stale potpourri

  83. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 1:06 am #

    anon at 10:46 ..i am completely blind..when i open my eyes,all i can see is grey..even at night time,darkness or a lit room,all i see is grey…i have a computer program called “Jaws”{job access windows ” ,and it dictates the text to me…it works on keyboard commands,instead of “mouse” sounded like stephen hawkings,but i discovered that you can make it have an english accent..the program is functional,but not remarkable..i have limited functionality on my computer,because of the keyboard command system..when i press the tab button,it takes me to the next link,or heading.when i press the alphabet keys,it says the letter that i have pressed,and the same with all of the other keys…tuition on the program is extremely expensive,so i thought i would just get the basics,and work the rest out myself…..if you are interested in having a look at the program,theres a website where you can download a 3month free trial of the program…and hey,if your monitor breaks,you could still use your computer…my sister found me using my computer with the monitor turned off.that was a laugh!..the site where you can sample the program is called “freedom scientific”…love,genx xxx

  84. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 1:29 am #


    And so say all of us!

  85. avatar
    ticker | 19 September 2007 at 1:32 am #

    The words ‘verbal diahrorea’ spring to mind when I view Gens posts. But she can’t help it so leave her be.

  86. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 1:58 am #

    gee,i thought this was SK’s blog…not a 3rd grade playground!..pull yourselves together boyz n gals!.

  87. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 2:22 am #

    You know when you nibble away on pistachios and you strike an OFF NUT…this Gen X horseshit IS that nut…is the problem with the internet, no decent pistachio filtering…

  88. avatar
    steve kilbey | 19 September 2007 at 2:34 am #

    please keep it civil
    genx, cant you and art chat elsewhere?!
    one comment per customer, please!
    this malarkey is ruining my blog!
    keep it relevant

  89. avatar
    Dig | 19 September 2007 at 2:38 am #

    Wow, I hope you feel better today.
    I feel exactly like that now and all this morning and in some strange way I kinda feel better after reading your blog. Is that knowing that others feel the same that you’re not alone?
    Anyway thanks SK

  90. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 2:39 am #

    what a bunch of imbosiles,or is it a jaded,jealous jeuvenile joker being a jerk?

  91. avatar
    Matthew | 19 September 2007 at 2:41 am #

    I always dig the dark stuff, thing is it’s *real* – can’t have joy without sorrow, the old cliche. AND you’re making awesome poetry out of it, which is immediately transcending it, in my opinion.

  92. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 3:39 pm #

    Sitting in a cage at work when suddenly the Go-Betweens Quiet Heart finds its way onto the airwaves. Would really like to walk out the door now and never come back.

  93. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 September 2007 at 6:32 pm #

    i nearly sent it ,for to!. hands on m’art

  94. avatar
    Anonymous at 10:21 | 20 September 2007 at 2:21 pm #

    Can anonymous at 10:55 and anonymous at 11:29 kindly sweetly take anonymous at 10:21 and wildly fuck off in anonymous at 8:06’s general direction?

  95. avatar
    anonymous at 12:22 | 20 September 2007 at 2:22 pm #

    Thank you sweet sirs.

  96. avatar
    anonymous at 12:34 | 20 September 2007 at 2:34 pm #

    the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain

    and the pretty little things with their magnets and rings

    I’ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
    Who worked in a circus that came through town

    And the audience seemed familiar
    Some of them in particular

    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
    Who casually sat on a doorway;

    Terra Nova Cain, I need you again
    Some for the little boys who live down the lane

    Here’s the church, and here’s the steeple
    Open the door and see all the people.

    Left my ego in the mezzanine
    Here he comes again, bustin’ up my scene

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