posted on December 1, 2007 at 3:47 am

one ear down
like vince van go go au go
swimmers ear
feeling tired beyond these years
empty vessel
no thoughts forthcoming
the goose below starts the doof doof
at 3 in the afternoon
the most constant throbbing doof doof
i wonder how a man could like this
music for people who hate music
ideas for people with no idea
the most horrible artificial continuous sound
devoid of feeling
devoid of love
devoid of lightnshade
devoid of melody
devoid of rhythm
devoid of swing
devoid of anything youd really want really
i mean ok
at a dance party at midnight i guess i dunno
but 3 in the arvo by yerself in yer bedroom
it comes running up the walls turning my place
into a giant reverberation chamber
and i find a lovely irony
that it be inflicted on me
who has the capacity to hate it with such vile passion
and now
with earblock
it feels like some earthmoving machine
furiously delving into the screaming earth
as all horrible things triumph in this world
cogs and oil and slagheaps and explosions
war and devastation and mindlessness
the victory of the moron
the gossip mags as bibles
with naked pictures of pregnant aguilera as icon
with television direct injected
soap hopeless opera
lust island (feat. spousal ab-use)
chicken wing bits with beaky bites from kfc
idle winners tell all about big nothing
atheists for jesus w/ rev billie joe crabbe
shopping mall prophets with brand name resurrection
text jehovah and vote for your favourite angel
skype the lord on 1 800 lordylordy
email me at
everybody invites me to facebook
i invite you all to bumbook
i invite you all to a liberal party
i invite you to scuba doobie doo
while i sally fourth with a tally ho ho ho
i see tom cruise is a weirdo
gee that makes me feel better bout myself
i see the good actors the chosen ones
they wear the right gowns
and marry the right person this time
i see the bad celebrities too fat and thin
too rich and unhappy
too stupid to spend all that money the way i would
there they are playing polo in rehab
or accepting an award and being carted off to jail
drunk driving….huh!
supplying a miner with drugs….i thought he’d dig it
consorting with prosty-tuits
is that what you call it?
ice cream and tattoo parlours
shoe shop chain :club foot
new car names:
honda dribble
toyota dollop
nissan smudge
ford sparrow
holden uranus
mercedes slut 500
lexus porker
hummer lump
chrysler elbow
the new bmw groin
rolls royce impress coupe
audi 2 door squirt
new tv shows:
celeb euthanasia
obese olympics
the flying plastic surgeon
cops with bad attitudes
candid bathroom camera hosted by chuck berry
coroner quiz
hollywood blood test
great frauds and real fakers
wrestling chefs
wild animal brawls:tonite whale versus tiger
extinction countdown :tonite froggys numbered days
tasty climate watch : cheese and arctic melts
football statistics versus the cabbala with maddy n becks
southern christian revival techniques :drowned baptists with pastor gnocchi
americas naughtiest death rowers : inside peak with heidi flies
the tonight show with whatsisname and the bald guy in the background
renovation revolution with k. rudd : starving in a garret and pulpmill stucco
homes of the rich and infamous : mafia boss richie prosciutto invites you in
pollution lottery
kids channel : pc syrup and namby pamby dribble
history channel : hitlers toenails part 2 : clips and memories
shopping network : coffin bargains and ammo savings
sports channel : west versus east
comedy central : old mcdonald had a famine plus whats my phobia
science channel : evolution : monkeyman bones and all that

ah phooey
i just ran outta steam

33 Responses to “post #800”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 5:05 am #

    what does it mean one year down?

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 5:06 am #

    ear, i mean

  3. avatar
    craig1.618 | 1 December 2007 at 5:26 am #

    i recall bill cosby responding to a question about rap music

    he said it was the “dumbassification of america”

    personally…..i think that rings true for alot of so-called “entertainment” on this planet

    one big fucking dumbass distraction!!!!

    the downfall and the ascension can both be buried or not even covered in the headlines and most wouldn’t bother to notice

    but take away the murderous crime drama or the mind-numbing reality crap (all in hi-def of course) and they’d be marching in the street

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 5:31 am #

    the holidays bring out the best in people

  5. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 1 December 2007 at 5:52 am #

    eye say we go with me nev tv : starring rock ‘n’ roll babylon…
    Ne ik’O’

  6. avatar
    daniel12 | 1 December 2007 at 5:54 am #

    I used to live with this DJ who played tecno doofa stuff all the time.

    One track i can actually remember featured a monotone male voice.
    It repeated a single sentence and went like this.

    “I DONT” ,(Doof Doof Doof) “LIKE”, (Doof Doof Doof) “MUSIC”

    I swear i’m not making this up.

  7. avatar
    veleska1970 | 1 December 2007 at 6:14 am #

    in reference to the arsewipe downstairs~~do you think you could persuade tim to move spacejunk to your house while the church is writing/rehearsing/recording? that would do two things: 1. give the idiot a dose of his own meds, and 2. maybe (hopefully) introduce him to some REAL music for a change……

    i’m sorry your ear still hurts, sweetie. and having some pinhead blasting that torture through your floor just makes it worse since your ear is very sensitive right now and is more or less an amplifier for noise.

    maybe when you’re feeling better you can ditch the swimming for a while and take up jump-roping and also buy the doodles some pogo sticks.

    and do both at 2 in the morning. 😉 right over his bedroom. 😉

    lotza love…….

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 6:23 am #

    Ha ha, “I invite you all to bumbook”, you’re funny today sk!
    Luv princey

  9. avatar
    Melissa | 1 December 2007 at 6:35 am #

    ^Veleska, I think your jump-rope & pogo sticks advice is really funny :).. excellent idea 🙂

    Man, I really feel for ya SK with this annoying neighbors. I think they may be relations of mine, over the fence behind my house. Their ‘music’ is bad enough, but what really infuriates me most is their constant yabbering out on the porch in the wee hours. It drives me nuts.. especially when I have to get up at 6 am for work. One time, I had to wake up really early for an early morning flight & barely got a wink of sleep. I was so mad, I flounced downstairs, went outside and screamed SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!! and it all went quiet, haha. Friends think this is hilarious, considering I’m so mild and meek normally 🙂

    Anyway, hope the ear gets better soon, too

  10. avatar
    ...being here, doing this... | 1 December 2007 at 7:12 am #

    “ah phooey”


  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 8:12 am #

    go n switch his power off at the mains sk!…the doof doof might just have fried his brainz enough ,that he wont be able to work out how to put it back on!…or you could put a lump of chocolate in each ear??!!seeming that chocolate fixes most things ;)…and you can censor the rubbish on tele and the magazines with a warmed chocolate…ask miss Scarlet to show you how tv screens can be enhanced by warm scrumphfed chocolate…it is also suitable for posting in the dvd player{so my daughter taught me a few years ago…somebody should prescribe him a valium!!!could do him some good…joke??a new hybrid of valium and viagra??,if you dont get a f—,you dont give a f—! haha!…hope the ear is getting better…more vit c,is the key to infection…have a lovely night all!…”to dance,or to doof…that is the question.whether tis nobler in the mind to …..turn the f’ken racket down…or suffer the slings and arrows of the killer!” hee hee!look out downstairs folks…h…love ,as always,gen xxxxxx

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 8:22 am #

    oh,dear….that lone “h” was supposed to be attatched to a “haha”…but the “aha” bit buggered off …to somewhere??!! oh,well!…love,gen

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 8:39 am #

    Hi Steve
    I know this is a bit late but have only just read you commnets on Big Mal.Did you see last Saturday night when he was about to claim that he had won his seat that they were playing”I’m Almost With You.” I fell off my chair

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 9:48 am #

    Hi sk, any chance you had a little steam left for a “hurly burly” typa blog or a poem one of these days, I miss them blogs.
    Hope you’re feeling better too.
    Love Amanda

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 10:40 am #

    Hi Steve

    You’re a legend. That was effin’ hilarious.

    I know what you’re going through with the ear, been there myself. It’s one thing feeling pain but when it’s coming from an ear you can’t help hearing it as well. It’ll come good, don’t worry.

    MungoPushul x

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 1:51 pm #

    hilarious, Mr. K.!!!


  17. avatar
    davem | 1 December 2007 at 2:48 pm #

    You’re at your funniest when you’re pissed off. Vince van go go au go had me howling.

    Send the arse downstairs a copy of Fruit Machine and Forget Yourself, that’ll cure him.
    Much love to you SK.

  18. avatar
    daberhasher | 1 December 2007 at 3:23 pm #

    i have noticed over these wonder blog years that some of your best spot on vitriol comes with the “empty vessel, no thoughts forthcoming…” intro…
    just pure bile, but that’s gotta come out too i reckon… and, you work in some mighty good chuckles while purging the creeping moronoditis that plagues these times more than ever it seems… hope it helped, it did here!


  19. avatar
    tofu | 1 December 2007 at 5:05 pm #

    forget car names and tv shows — there’s at least ten solid band names in this post… 😉

  20. avatar
    restaurant mark | 1 December 2007 at 6:12 pm #

    hey man…sorry about your ear problems…that just sucks…hope you get feeling better soon.

    about that award…i think you should take the thing if it’s offered…it’s just an aknowledgement of the strong body of work you’ve built up over a long career. it can’t hurt?

    take care everyone

    oh yeah…hope you got that pressure relieved!

  21. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 1 December 2007 at 8:13 pm #

    I hope SK’s pain and woes allay and go away. He’s the man behind the superlative “Hologram of Baal”. “Anaesthia”, “Richocet”. “Louisiana”, “Buffalo” and ultimatly “Tranquility” are incomparablly eminent songs. Who else on this planet could write the tender, alluring and ethereal “Tranquility”. Maybe John Lennon. Not Thom Yorke or Chris Martin or Bono. No Radiohead or U2 CD can touch Hologram of Baal or After Everthing Now This. Got to go its snowing real bad in Chicagoland.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 December 2007 at 10:47 pm #

    How about having the Crunch over to your flat to rehearse? Point your amps towards the doof doof. Get yourselves arrested and some free publicity. Or burn a CD w/ only “Maybe These Boys” on it, run your stereo through your bass amp, hit the repeat button and then leave for the weekend.

  23. avatar
    MEM | 1 December 2007 at 11:49 pm #

    name your your poison…

    i realized i do most things backwards,
    being in amerikka is backwards
    i’ve been diagnosed dyslexic
    adhd, depreseed, ahead of the curve
    i forget my IQ even,
    they sais i was “mensa”
    but i can’t even feed myself properly
    there was a point to this,
    but please for christ sweet sake
    don’t ask me what it was…
    i remember reading once
    that the buddhist
    or was it the Buddha
    who said
    “the hardest task is to realize
    that the world, in its present state
    is perfect, as there is no other
    way the world could be”
    when i mention this
    people (my activist friends)
    often they recoil…
    “but that means…. but how can you….
    but that’s not…”

    no, that’s not necessarily
    inaction or passivism, i counter…
    but acceptance
    unless we can accept the present
    state of our selves,
    we can never inhitiate

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 December 2007 at 12:35 am #

    i hardly watch any tv at all these days…most of it is utter shit…hell, steve, just focus on how gooooood it’s gonna feel when this ear bug pisses off, and as for the knob who plays doof-doof down stairs, how’s about a bit of early-morning spring-cleaning where you guys accidentally drop furniture and assorted (heavy) items on the floor…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  25. avatar
    isolde | 2 December 2007 at 2:10 am #

    tv isn’t interactive enough, i can’t watch it anymore
    mythbusters is ok tho

    these are the sort of boxes i like:

    launch site and play

  26. avatar
    Belfrank | 2 December 2007 at 3:32 am #


    I’ll let you in on a secret as to why I can handle living in the US of A so far.
    Because I haven’t bothered to buy a TV and let all that vacuous shite into my home.
    I play what music I want – not crappy bland FM radio. And if I wanna watch some music or a DVD the pc works just fine for me the odd time that I do.
    “Drug of the nation, feeding ignorance”…..Indeed Mr Franti!
    Merrick and Rich would love me for that quote.
    Belfy in Belmont,MA

    …and the best bit…I’ve had no downstairs neighbours for over a year. Sorry 😉

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 December 2007 at 4:22 am #

    Thanks for the J.Cornell link Isolde.

    Right up my alley.


  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 December 2007 at 4:27 am #

    he’s telling us what he’s read or heard were totally nonsense. when he’s talking about a woman’s make up, when he’s talking about tv program, they are not really making up or tv program people.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 December 2007 at 5:16 am #

    friends ,romans and countrymen….please lend me your see-ers.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2007 at 12:15 am #

    Re; Silverchair “i never heard one thing by them i didn’t think was awfull”

    What would you say of someone who said something like this of you ?

    That’s right you’d say they were jelous.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 December 2007 at 5:11 am #

    BMW GROIN! ‘Im lovin it’ mr kilbey! (Pun intendre… in case there arent any mckey D’s in aussie land, thats their slogan.)
    HAHA… im right there with you on this blogge.
    Galveston TX

  32. avatar
    Larry | 3 December 2007 at 3:45 pm #

    ‘wild animal brawls:tonite whale versus tiger’

    I’ve actually seen mail-order videos of that stuff advertised (it might even have been from National Geographic, of all things), but it was more along the lines of ‘shark vs albatross’ …

    And as for doof-doof …

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 December 2007 at 8:27 am #


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