posted on December 28, 2005 at 1:54 pm

more supple a mentary blog
does any of you legions of my fans…….
(and congratulations, by the way, youre a winner!)
does any of you have any connexions
with any o those bigshotss
that are gonna do tha next narnia filme….?
with huge jackson
who whatever that mannes name is….
do any of you know anybody
that knows anybody
whos gonna cast that turkey
cos i gotta bonus for em
sk to play wicked king miraz
cmon mr producer
im a fucking shoe-in for that part
dont get some well known pommy
(oh look, gerald, they got kenny branagh playin’ miraz)
dont get some yankee acta spittin ‘ hollywood dud lines
and useless accent
and im sorry to that manne
who wrote in to this show
saying why shouldnt the wolvies have american accents….?
because
i am
after cs himself
the one true interpretah of all things narnian
I WILL DECIDE
MY DECISION IS :
NO. REPEAT.NO AMERICAN ACCENTS IN FUCKING NARNIA
NOHOW.NEVER,
sorry to pull rank
but
cmon
im channelling lewis right now
and he wants to know….
whats hollywoody gonna do about the calormenes
who worship a hideous living death bird god
who invade and enslave the anglo centric narnia
and eventually bring about the end of ye olde worlde
they revile aslan as a devil
and
people
lets face it
they are clearly some kinda middle eastern dudes
they are illustrated thus
on narnias judgement day
all but one or two
pass into shadow
on aslans badde side

no before ya start fussin at me
there is a reason that narnia is anglo centric
itsin the musicians nephew
wherein the white bitch first turns up
w/ black hair and snow white skin
and narnias first kingy
is a lunnon hansom cab driver
so its only natural that they should speak
like the pommies
and/but not like the yankees
back to clive and mes other problem
i cannae see the calormene thing happnin
with things this sensitive
so may we recommend a substitution
in the movie, that is,
of “straights” instead of calormenes
the evil “straights” who live in the desert
who come to narnia
kill the beasts
cut down the talking fucking trees, people
saw off unihorns corns
and a load of other eville
and totally genocidal olde nasty
bollocks
and then
get cast in to ye olde abyss
FOR ETERNITY, BAYBEE
good lord
its perfect
now
onto sumpthing elsewhere
please dont use my comments for yer own blogging
i now know how to delete
and i will waste no opportunity
to send yon commento
to magnetic heaven
if i deem it not something
to do with ME
sorry
you know who you all are
don’ get me wRONg
i love ya baybee
but im a gonna delete ya
if ya over doo it again
on my little parade here…
now….
any of ya got a lil poem to write….?
yeah…..?
well dont do it here…
these comments should be
lavish praise
ore
bitterest scorne
i dinae care if you think you wanna diss mee
but no poems
blogs
incantations
memoirs
advice
recipes
cheerios
or anything else
that does nae pertain
to me right here
this sk
in front of yer screen
burning the midnight lamp
to reprimand you zealots
DONT FUCK WITH MY BLOGG
ok
thats better
look out
i got that delete button ready
dont make me do it
throw down that verbose comment
and come out
drop the mouse, mister
the jib is up
yore fucking nicked, me olde son

14 Responses to “prince cashpeein’ and the blogscorpions from bondi”

  1. avatar
    Brian | 28 December 2005 at 3:30 pm #

    Alright, I’ll be first to brave the Wrath of Steve; if you’d have told me Steve was a Narnia Nerd, I’d had been very surprised, but I’m glad he is 🙂 I’ve never read the books meself, and my own geekery extends to Babylon 5, Red Dwarf (hi JK!) and the Choich, of course. But big cheers to taking this step out of Internet virginity – geeking out over the casting of a science fiction or fantasy film! Though it *is* a new twist to ask that you be picked for a role 🙂 And yes, I’d pay to see that!

    One of Us…One of Us…One of Us.

    Steve, your thoughts on Kirk vs. Picard? Could a star destroyer taken on the Enterprise? How about the Death Star, on a Tuesday?

  2. avatar
    Godzirra | 28 December 2005 at 3:41 pm #

    I’ll make a few phone calls and see what I can do…Peter Jackson has lost some weight, of course it could just be a special effects trick…

  3. avatar
    spongebather | 28 December 2005 at 4:39 pm #

    Dear Uncle Steve,

    Could you please publish some of your favorite vegan and/or vegatarian recipes in your blog?

    Yours truly,
    Spongebather

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2005 at 4:44 pm #

    Forget Narnia. I am putting together a production company and buying the cinematic rights to the bloggy. Everything is in place. Brosnan wants the JLK role, but I said he needs to loose weight and gain some charisma. The Olsen twins will play the big twins. And maybe Lamb and Lynx for the little twins? They seem marketable right now. Robert Downey Jnr will be Bill. Had signed Wenham for RPK. But Wenham wanted to do his own vocals in the Crystal Set scene and we had to let him go. Going for Ewan McGregor instead. Naturally it will be an ensemble soundtrack. None of that atmospheric crap – cant sell a CD with that. Jet and Missy Higgy are shoe ins. Given the high number of beach scenes, might wanna look at some Australian Crawl too. The backers want Aussies in The Church parts to bring in local punters. Weaving=Koppes. Chris Riley=Marty Willson-Piper (remember that priest=aura). And Russ=Tim. He can apparently pound out a beat(ing). Rick Springfield is going to play sk . . . he already knows the words to UTMW.

  5. avatar
    timetunnel | 28 December 2005 at 5:18 pm #

    I wish I could have seen you debut as an actor in that piece of shakes’s beer, but a permanent spatial mislocation of myself thousands of feet beneath your feet made it quite impossible to attent. But at least I could see you play Darth Kilbo in “Church Wars” at the Woooomb, which was short but great actually. Hehe. Hey, I have neither read nor seen banarnia so far, but it’s dubbed here, so imagine the wolves all sprecken deutsch instead of yankee!
    Recalling your laughter on Refo’s Traitor I guess you’re in for a role as some Dark Lord PIYFADALH (=put in you favourite dark lord here). But would you play “beast with two backs” scenes?

  6. avatar
    chukleslovakia | 28 December 2005 at 7:58 pm #

    Still can’t quite grip this.It seems like only yesterday i was trying to decipher ‘echos of ghostly dogs’ etched in the trail off on my vinyl copy of REMOTE LUXURY. Then later, solo brilliance in four track and more. Fender’s Ballroom, the Palladium, the Palace, and then the Coach House.(again and again) Now, a daily dose from the Master, as sweet as mother’s milk straight from the source. Thank you Mr. Kilbey, i haven’t had a trip like this since i found by THE CHURCH in 1981.

  7. avatar
    chukleslovakia | 28 December 2005 at 8:08 pm #

    hello, chuk here. just read my post and concluded i write pretty well english. I (was) found by THE CHURCH in 1981. will check before posting from now on. i am truly sorry and i humbly repent.

  8. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 28 December 2005 at 8:43 pm #

    i thought we could communicate through this blogging
    i wanted to know how you felt about all of this
    and where we may be headed
    we will meet again right???
    this time it will be very god-like
    and something to always treasure
    i hope you feel the same…
    mjnjr
    like i said…
    mary has a spliff waiting for you

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 December 2005 at 10:17 pm #

    Will you delete family members?
    Coz I want to persue the Ewan Mcgregor thing!
    Hes perfect and he’s got not a bad voice too.
    But this is not about Esss Kayy.
    Would also like to persue Kirk vs Picard which can be easily solved. Has Picard ever engaged in Biffo? or succumded to the wiles or a lovely lady?
    No… Don’t …….Steve……..agh!
    RPK

  10. avatar
    captainmission | 28 December 2005 at 11:22 pm #

    I did have the pleasure of seeing SK preform as Shylock and credit where it’s due…Rusty Crow eat ya heart out, Huge Axman stick to the song and dance routines and the other chap who made a Catholic snuff movie, old Melting Gibbons, well, some one give him a lethal injection 2. Yes our hero with the silky voice, and cosmic base can act extreemely well. Tis True.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 December 2005 at 5:57 am #

    THANKYOU STEVE, for railing against and dispatching the tedious, nonsensical, verbose ramblers.
    (though you might have to remind ’em again)

    We luv YOU, and only you.

    True Fan

  12. avatar
    paula | 29 December 2005 at 7:03 am #

    every time i flush the toilet it sounds like a round of applause,that sound that people make when they approve of something .liquor,love and laughs to u from me little stevie!my mums cooking up another batch of ploog walrus gravy for ya.wil drop it by soonish.

  13. avatar
    eek | 29 December 2005 at 8:20 am #

    Ok. It’s settled. You have to make this into a book…this stuff is priceless!

    Wonderful!

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 December 2005 at 6:25 pm #

    Ploog walrus gravy?


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