posted on October 31, 2007 at 1:48 am

hey nerd
sitting around and playing with yourself all day?
wanna travel meet women and earn top dollar?
its easy with quikblog!
youll be a star before you can say gullible!!
quikblog shows you how in one nano second
youll be sitting in a hotel room in paris or rome
by the time you finish the first lesson
or all monies will be gracefully re funded
if youre not spouting advice poetry anecdotes memories
hints tips stories essays etc within one minute
even though you are no fucking keats or yeats
even though you dont know one vaguely glamourous word
even though you couldnt rhyme cat with rat
even if you cant string latinate adjectives together
or come up with unique internal rhyming patterns
or distinguish a simile from a antonym
or extrapolate a rationale from a reverie
even if you are a tongue tied clueless wretch
as adept with the english language as a jellyfish
dont know a verb from a kerb
it doesnt matter!!!
youll be drowning in subscription dollars from a million devotees
in next to no time
people will be commenting in the thousands
before you even type the first word!!!!!!
quikblog will show you how to
*rocket up blog charts like you wont believe
*come up with brilliant pithy blogs for everyman day after day
* be popular at parties when girls realise you are #1 blogstar on earth!!
*impress your friends with your new found riches and adoration
* learn how to use asterisks
quikblog and blogstar guarantee 101 % success
or we will execute the employees you feel have failed you
all will be revealed
no more loneliness or pimples
get rid of unsightly blemishes
learn how to make friends and borrow money off them
fame
fortune
all this and more
awaits you
when you are a blogstar of the future
do it now!

59 Responses to “quikblog@quikblog.com”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 2:23 am #

    Yeah! Quick. Where do I sign?

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 2:35 am #

    Ha ha, being a blogstar never sounded so good. So would this make one a BILF?
    Have a beautiful day sk (lots of annoying flys around today, reminding me of Sunday, oh the sweet memories…)
    Love Amanda

  3. avatar
    the dean | 31 October 2007 at 3:10 am #

    I’m a little skeptical but where do I sign.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 3:43 am #

    Whoooops therrrrre gooooes anooother rubber tree antonym….

  5. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 31 October 2007 at 3:50 am #

    Count me in. My current blog’s probably gotten 4 hits in the last year, anythings an improvement!

  6. avatar
    daniel12 | 31 October 2007 at 4:00 am #

    These HOT girls want losers like YOU !.

    Text ‘L O S E R’ now to the number on your screen.

    There wating for your blog NOW!.

  7. avatar
    better | 31 October 2007 at 4:37 am #

    Hey nerd
    yeah yu
    come over here………
    Get into my car!

    (que)..
    confetti…

    -Get outta my dreams!.
    say what! Billy Ocean! oh snap!
    (que) cha-cha horns play for a crowd of left feet)

    Its goin too far…

    jr….

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 4:40 am #

    If you really want this thing to take off you gotta feature hair removal or hair renewal.

    Simple as that.

    B.Bon

  9. avatar
    Peta Podcastress | 31 October 2007 at 5:31 am #

    TOUCHE ,PEACE .X

  10. avatar
    captainmission | 31 October 2007 at 5:58 am #

    hi steve, good to reconnect, hope your in good health spirit and love, just a few things to contribute to your post yesterday, very intresting concept. i found that acknowledgement and understanding of said ‘knot’ or ‘block’ will assist in its release but loving it helps it to vanish, after all it no longer will have a need to exist. just something to think about.
    blog on

  11. avatar
    Thelonious | 31 October 2007 at 6:15 am #

    So thats how you do it SK. I wondered considering I cannot even come up with anything decent to say in your comments on a daily basis unlike your several hundred word fairly interesting entries everyday.

  12. avatar
    markobears | 31 October 2007 at 6:28 am #

    It’s on. but like the last comment i cant come up with anything decent… unless im intoxicated

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 6:36 am #

    just try it! 😉 if ya dare …xxA

  14. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 31 October 2007 at 7:39 am #

    Glad that knot in the spleen’s burst since yesterday. Re poetry; when is it art or a craft? When is it a form of therapy? My ramblings fall into the latter ( if anything) & I’ll never master it but am on the road to explore it co’s I’m a nerd . Fuck the purists! Give us some more magic-realism pleeeeease……….

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 10:20 am #

    …ah, but does it come with a twelve month money-back guarantee and a free ab-workout video…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  16. avatar
    veleska1970 | 31 October 2007 at 10:26 am #

    blogstar? hmmppfff~~i always get the ones that promises bigger and better….ahem….certain body parts, for body parts i don’t even have, so that i can be a pornstar.

    i’d rather send my credit card number to you for what you’re selling.

  17. avatar
    Tokin' Jester | 31 October 2007 at 11:47 am #

    Didja know that the word GULLIBLE isn’t in the Dictionary?

  18. avatar
    emily teechen | 31 October 2007 at 12:38 pm #

    I didn’t realise you could see in here through your laptop – but I refuse to stop – it’s healthy!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 12:56 pm #

    Nah, there’s this Time Being bloke who’s already got it covered – he’s gonna give us all the info on the writing n recording of Heyday, y’know…

  20. avatar
    sceptic | 31 October 2007 at 1:03 pm #

    Yeah, on the 100th anniversary of it’s UK release…

  21. avatar
    isolde | 31 October 2007 at 1:28 pm #

    wait! there’s more!
    Introducing the amazing Lateral Comment Generator Plug & Play Module*

    Bounce off Blogs in Style!
    Generate Comments in Nanoseconds!
    Find your Soul Mates!
    Understand the Meaning of Life!

    First 500 subscribers receive a complimentary follicle assessment** from our sponsor The Toupe Being

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    ** conditioners apply

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 1:33 pm #

    Man, I love it when you’re on a roll and thump out a blog in one fell swoop – it whips the snow leopard’s ass with a belt!

  23. avatar
    timf | 31 October 2007 at 2:08 pm #

    better yet… get a life!…get outside and throw a frisbee for god’s sake..anything but sitting infront of a computer….

    ah…um…i’m going to go now…

  24. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 31 October 2007 at 2:50 pm #

    A butterfly is ethereal and every creature that derives from the Creator does have a bit of the celestial in them. Ethereal Butterfly and a few more of the newer commentors are very impressive. Does Sk or anybody else remember the late Billy Mackenzie. What a voice and his CD “Wild and Lonely” is a gem. He overdosed after his beloved mother died. I’m elated all members of The Church have endured external and internal trials and tribulations. Combined with some of SK’s solo CDs, Isidore and Jack Frost I have over thirty outstanding CHurch Cd’s to listen to. Very assuaging to the ears and sanctifying for my woeful soul.

  25. avatar
    John | 31 October 2007 at 3:07 pm #

    “even though you dont know one vaguely glamourous word
    even though you couldnt rhyme cat with rat”

    Hey, get off my case, man!

    John Garratt

  26. avatar
    Cee | 31 October 2007 at 3:34 pm #

    Hey!
    5.6 earthquake for Bay Area folx last night! Hope none of the bottles of the “good stuff” broke during the shaking and I don’t mean bottles of hair tonic!

    Send chocolate for our rattled nerves, and no, we’re not moving.

    Best witches!
    Cee
    xox

  27. avatar
    rubikon | 31 October 2007 at 4:27 pm #

    I’m moving still but it’s sometimes too hard to believe

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 5:32 pm #

    dont you need a degree in button pushing{or at least envelope pushing}to be a blog*?some blog*s would write in their daily conquests,wouldnt they?

  29. avatar
    scott | 31 October 2007 at 5:51 pm #

    before I take my afternoon injection of thorazine…what I need to know is – will it make the voices go away?

  30. avatar
    davem | 31 October 2007 at 6:38 pm #

    To be honest I’d prefer to sit around and play with myself all day. Does that make me a bad person?

  31. avatar
    CSTCoach | 31 October 2007 at 8:13 pm #

    where do i sign up? how much should i send? and can i combine this with other popularity offers, such as enlarging my penis or regrowing hair in places i never lost it?

    finally, will this solve the angst raised in yesterday’s blog?

  32. avatar
    restaurant mark | 31 October 2007 at 8:37 pm #

    but i already know how to use asterisks…or do i? hmm…may need to sign up, just in case…

    and davem…it doesn’t make you bad…just a little weird perhaps…not that there’s anything wrong with that

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 9:08 pm #

    i give in!where do i sign?just call me the fallin’ angle,that’ll be the title..have a lovely day all!…jb x

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 11:01 pm #

    a little bit of Yogi,and a little bit of rock’n’roll!now,that’s what i call rock’n’roll!you want rock’n’roll?you got it!…I am a blogstar!the best bloggy in town!so good,you’ll get whiplash,in fact..love .

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 31 October 2007 at 11:18 pm #

    great blog Mr.SK!as per usual…inspiring?possibly….and davem?…”stop it,or you’ll go blind!” {ha ha ha ha!;-)}..{didn’t the pope say that?oh,wrong CHURCH!}…have a beautiful day!love,as always,genx

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 2:40 am #

    shhhhhh….he’s about to speak…..

  37. avatar
    eek | 1 November 2007 at 6:01 am #

    Would it also work for those of us who keep mixing up simile and smilie? If so, I’m in! 🙂

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 6:28 am #

    Are you back from the music expo yet, we’re missing our ttb blogstar here today!
    Love Amanda

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 6:41 am #

    GIVE US THE BLOG!THE LOWDOWN!WE’RE GETTING WITHDRAWALS! X

  40. avatar
    lily was here | 1 November 2007 at 10:12 am #

    Extrapolating rationales from a reverie sounds very tempting. You can never have too many of those.

    Sue
    x

  41. avatar
    nickF | 1 November 2007 at 10:40 am #

    ” learn how to make friends and borrow money off them ” – Steve Kilbey / I find this hilarious!!!!

  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 12:04 pm #

    it takes one to know one

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 12:05 pm #

    but i think you already know that

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 12:47 pm #

    please blogge?…./on behalf of we whom would be too nervous,and timid to ask for ourselves.xo

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 4:30 pm #

    Misery loves company so:
    I’m having the worst period, ever!!

  46. avatar
    anonymous at 3:32 | 1 November 2007 at 4:32 pm #

    Quickie Blog – allows you nerds to type one handed

  47. avatar
    Faye | 1 November 2007 at 6:25 pm #

    Hoping all is well sk.haven’t been present for a few days.had a car crash,and am still a touch sore,and concussed.nothin that a bit of loving wont fix.i like to pretend i am tough…i’m probably not as tough as i make out.take care.please blog soon,for us who could do with a little SKness right now.or,howsabout pain killer?peace . and love . xo

  48. avatar
    davem | 1 November 2007 at 7:29 pm #

    Where’s the killa??

  49. avatar
    knot shaking | 1 November 2007 at 8:52 pm #

    Hey Cee,
    No bottles of homemade mead or pumpkin ales were harmed in that pip-squeak of an earthquake. Did make my crystal ring in a fairly pretty and random fashion.

    yes, please do send chocolate, Dagobah is great and please no hair removal tonics, penis enlargers, or salad spinners.

  50. avatar
    fantasticandy | 1 November 2007 at 9:35 pm #

    awwww,
    c’mon killer!
    you ‘aint gone AWOL again have yer?

  51. avatar
    fantasticandy | 1 November 2007 at 9:37 pm #

    oi!
    if you don’t get back at that keyboard…..
    i’ll start boring them all with the details of our gig!!!!!!

  52. avatar
    davem | 1 November 2007 at 9:50 pm #

    Did you do Comedown, Andy?

  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 10:19 pm #

    hes probably dropping the tin-lids off to skool! 🙂 x

  54. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 10:35 pm #

    Anyone home?

  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 November 2007 at 11:48 pm #

    Hope a blog is coming today sk, it’s such a cold, dark, wet, gloomy day here, Melby needs you now!
    Love Princey

  56. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 2 November 2007 at 2:03 am #

    Just listened to the deluxe edition of Morrissey’s “You Are The Quarry” CD replete with excellent b-sides. “The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores” is grand and funny. Kilbey is the king of poignant, psychedelic vocalists and Morrissey is the prince of melancholic, melodramatic glam crooning. Sk’s more real and sureal and MOZ is all mystique and persona.

  57. avatar
    timf | 2 November 2007 at 2:14 am #

    thanks for that update brien, do you listen to anyone who is not veg?

    I can only stand so much of morrissey.

    he gives me nightmares.

    Sk and the players in the church give me dreams.

  58. avatar
    Sunshine | 2 November 2007 at 4:43 pm #

    Killer, this bit was the best:
    “* learn how to use asterisks”

    I’m a sucker for a “bad dad joke.”

    Oh, and that John Garratt character, yet again, manages to crack me up.

    Thx, Killerbee, for the excellent bloggery tips. ;D “Probably a Bloggery” sounds like a new Renegade Soundwave tune.

    Love to all,

    ~Sunshine

  59. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 November 2007 at 1:00 pm #

    thats perfection .


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