posted on January 21, 2006 at 10:56 pm

sunday again
a lovely day for a ramble
a meander
thru my mind
with you there to keep me honest
make sure that i come clean
i was sposed to be at yoga
but its closed due to fire
the blogg monkey on my shoulder starts up
hey man lets score a little blogg…
ok here we are
me and my monkey
nothing to hide
im just gonna hit random
see what comes up

much attention in aust gutter gossip rags
paid to leaf carrot and peat doe-hurty
for drug offences
wallowing in their self righteous glee
printing carrots mug shot
listing all peats crimes and misdaemeanours
etc etc
build em up
knock em down
fry the small fish
while the leviathans get away
strange world my fiendss
the immanent nature immersing us
the skies, unfathomable
the seas, liquid green skies, themselves
birds and fish
flying through webs
nets
traps
down here on this earth
we encourage em
and we laugh at em
when theyre caught
focussed in on minutiae
the fine red print
rules and regulations
theyll drag yer dick thru the dirt
and tell ya yer name is Mud
jealousy and envy moved in next door
to everyone
i cant live my life
im too busy
wishing i was living yours
we are grown up children
we accept whole monstrous lies
we quibble over words
oh yeah sk,
we heard yer antimaterialistic rant before
i know you have, sweetheart
but im still perplexed
it dont go away with just one rant
the whales are still being a’killed
the bombs are still a’dropping
the worms are still a’lying
and the rest of us
we just want a quiet sunday
ok then
some peace and quiet
ah thats better
calm down
forget all that

my daughter miranda
wrote something in english
(not really her first langwidge, as ya may no)
and olde daddy steven
quite shocked and rocked
by goode yon daughters grasp
of sentence construction
use of unusual words
simplicity and flow
content
and by the singularity
which flowed thru the piece
a vein of thought
i also felt a certain kilbeyness
a way of seeing things
a way of putting things
now i know parents always trumpet their own kids
and i try to avoid that mostly
anyway
never underestimate yer children
they probably are much better
at some things
than you yerself are
i dunno how much i should discuss em here
i dunno if they or you will appreciate that too much
they are quite a nice bunch tho…

so much going on in crunchland
delays
(yep, you already guessed it)
discussions
projects
offers
fete openings
you know
secret bigge things coming up
maybe the crunch will climb everest
maybe we’ll hunker down
in antartica for a year
in a biosphere
jamming in a white void
miles from the nearest audience
maybe i should write my auto biography
i mean, who else is….?
yeah
06 could be a huge one for the crunch
or maybe the year that nuthin’ happened
its in the lap of yer gods
i just try and let go
i wanna do everything at once
but they tell me you cant
i wanted to release ultc the second after
david trump put the final mix to bed
and now its gonna take this long
guess we’ll all just have to be april fools then
i listened to it the other day
in my kitchen
as i was washin’ up
(yes, anonymous, even genii wash up
actually i have a dishwasher
but i dont know how to use it
PLUS
i hate the noise
PLUS
it seems after all that preparation
you might as well
just wash up)
anyway
i did listen to ultc
trying to hear it thru your ears
some goode stuffe indeed
by the way
i am reminded
that karmic hit gave all december buyers
a free cd
featuring a few sk thingos
but have not heard ONE word
from anyone anywhere about it
although my tracks are pretty good
my fave is track ten
which is by someone else
and its bloody gorgeous!!
try to get a copy if you don’ have one yet
its FREE baby!!!!
this blog contains no swearwords today
in honour of my mother joycie
who will wade thru the politics drugs and rock
but NOT the #*&%*^$ing swearing
muvver
this blogs for you

but i may not be able to keep it up
for too long

now
im thinking of an experiment
an experiment on myself
you see
ive got a foot in two boats
that are starting to drift away
from each other
on one side is yoga swimming meditation fruit etc
on the other
is pot chocolate alkyhole party drugs sweets etc
im thinking of going straight
not “straight”, paula
but straight
get off ALL the badde stuffe
the stuff thats binding me to maya
the heavy tripe thats weighin’ my spirit down
you see
i have had half a revolution
but now i have to purge
some of the things
that i SEEM to love
ive gotta get clearer
i gotta take the guesswork out of this
see what i can really do
it means no drugs
no tea or coffee
no sweets
it means 30 laps 6 times a week
it means yoga for at least an hour
every day
it means meditating at least 90 minutes a day
it means total veganism
it means regular fasts
it means contemplation and reflection
ok
they are the ideals
i did maintain this regime once
twenty years ago
after six weeks i was communicating with animals
(i don’ care if ya laugh)
i was ready willing and able
to do whatever you wanted
i tumbled outta bed every morning
laughing and saying whats next?
i was going up and up
i was slowly approaching god
and then
well
the crunch toured the u s a
enuff said
anyhow
i have been thinking of conducting this
experiment in realisation on myself
for our information
to see whatll happen
AND
i got all you
to keep me honest
as i said before
and everytime
im tempted
i will think of ye
and resist

but i aint started yet..
soon
baby
soon
i gotta sneak up on it
when its not looking
BANG!
sk is a saint!

i love you
i guess
me

41 Responses to “rambling manne”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 12:14 am #

    We’re alone in this room….

  2. avatar
    12str | 22 January 2006 at 12:22 am #

    oh maan!
    what a beautiful night…
    15 degrees below zero.crisp clear blueish frozen midwinternight.the moon the stars,pick up my guitar..sing a lullaby for the beatiful woman lying in my bed.
    what a gift beeing loved…
    take care
    12str

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 12:25 am #

    It seems silent except for some inner voice that keeps calling “the end of the world soon to follow, Chaos Cloud”. “You need to DO some things before you vanish into the bang-bang purple haze”. I tell them to shut the fuck up. [Sorry, no swearing today]. Hard to attain balance. A question of balance.
    It seems peaceful and right before the starvinking crowd comes in and start to slam doors, close windows, kill birds, steal sentences of intellectual property AND emotional validity. Before they claim they own the space. Probably the spaces between us.
    Don’t you feel obliged to be happy on weekends? I’m staring at my soon-to-be-started book, one of many voids. Don’t need a cure, need a final solution. Trying to enjoy the middle though. Holding on, planning as I can, sublimating and still wishing. I wonder if two contrary movements deny all movements.
    Thinking of you.

  4. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 22 January 2006 at 12:30 am #

    Interestingly enough, I wrote a lyric today with the word “leviathan” in it…didn’t want to waste your time with it…i wonder as i wander out under the sky, sk…

    Surely it would be charming to read Miranda’s poetry/writing…she’s a lucky girl indeed if her old man’s skillz flow through her veins as well.

    Is ULTC officially delayed, then? Yon goatfarmer told me it might be so, but then I didn’t hear boo about it again until now. Too bad, too bad.

    Sorry, no KH fix for me in Decembirrrr, but maybe I’ll look into it…Peace, Steve. Good luck with your transcendenceness!

  5. avatar
    Handyman | 22 January 2006 at 12:33 am #

    Totally behind you as you make a new journey, whatever it may be. Good luck and good cleansing. May you come through the other side differently. Not necessarily better, but enlightened.

    Great to hear about your daughter. She is in fact a Kilbey. You cannot expect anything differently. They will surprise you as you know. They will define you long after you and I have left this orb.

    Keep up the swimming, I am there with you in the water through the noise and quiet. Long through the turns at the ends, wondering “When does it end”?

    Lets hope for a release and tour soon, before obscurity. The songs are magical and relevant and really needed at this time.

    Love ya,

    D

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 12:36 am #

    sk
    coffee or no coffee
    tea or no tea
    chocolate or no chocolate
    sweets or no sweets
    maryj or no maryj
    martini or no martini
    fruit or no fruit
    vegan or no vegan
    yoga or no yoga
    swimming or no swimming
    meditation or no meditation
    i’ll still love you
    diane

  7. avatar
    12str | 22 January 2006 at 12:37 am #

    ive got a plan!
    this is somehow a begining…
    an oasis of inspiration..
    something i can relate to..
    seeking the muse once lost in the mist of youth…
    give me time
    give me space
    give me clues about the endless race..

    peace
    12str

  8. avatar
    Laurie | 22 January 2006 at 12:48 am #

    ‘and things become more clear’. HEYY! Tip of the day.
    Is it me or is it a certain age setting in causing some fuzz? I’m finding a straight way is often neccesary. I have confidence in you and I think it’ll all work out fine.

    I haven’t seen ESSSKAYY role up in here lately. I read that he lives here in SF. Out of all the places on Earth, pourquoi? And what are his fav art gallerys in the Bay Area? I mean out of something like 400+? Huh?

    I can’t really tell if straight is such a good thing though. Yesterday, I visited the S.F. Department of Building Inspection to find the facility evacutated. I panicked. (*&^%(*%)( Can I have my drawings approved? I thought those badge wearin’ foo’s were in for some serious *$%$(*. Alas, One of them burned a bag o pop corn in a microwave. Eventually, my drawings were approved (the twinks). Ain’t they swell 🙂

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 12:58 am #

    Hey Steve, I ordered Unearthed from Karmic Hit and received the Previews and Rarities CD.
    Spectacular… Australian Night is a classic. Your vocals sound vibrant.
    After listening to the Beangrowers song, track 4 I think, I purchased that CD as well. Great Stuff…
    My favourite is the track where you chant.
    When is RPK going to release that solo albumn???

    Brian Turner
    USA

    turnerbrian@bellsouth.net

  10. avatar
    Letango | 22 January 2006 at 1:15 am #

    Supposedly John Lennon said meditation was his greatest high. When I dedicated an hour to it a day I very quickly began to see auras and orbs and strange glowing beings beside my bed at night wanting something– what I failed to figure out.
    Ah and also golden threads everywhere. Perhaps there is something to string theory. So, I won’t laugh at yer talkin’ to de aminals, I mean Animas, no I mean Omni all… well you know…

  11. avatar
    captainmission | 22 January 2006 at 1:28 am #

    Despite being respectful of the individuals right to poison themselves with what ever substance they chose, i wholeheartedly support the concept of rigiorous detox in the context of disipline and a quasi/shamanic/mystic/healthy approach to rewiring and imprinting the neural networks and pathways, and changing the cellular process on the journey, opening up the charkras, fixing up the aura, discussing the moment with your angel and generally anything that involves being responsible for one’s evoloution. Body Surfing is an excellent medium as is any ocean based activity along with yoga and meditation, comtemplation of the ego, you can’t go wrong. However as far as drugs go, i think it’s okay to incorperate them into some form of ceremonial expansion, however there’s dumb drugs and smart ones, the smart ones, spirillina, ginko, brahmi, (always double the recommended dose) supplemented with a strict vegan diet will radically chance your brain. (but i do love yr brain as is)
    The more shamanic substances, ayahuasca, igobaine, dmt are always good on the road to personal health and clarity and a diet strong in raw foods and loads of seaweed is excellent to.
    Anyway I am sure you know most of this, i’m just offerring some support having done it myself, the most challenging bit was the ‘fasting’ and the olive oil, sodium bicarbe kidney detox, yuk.
    It’s funny LA is gotta be the baddest place to detox in, it’s kind of like the heart of maya so i do appreciate yr relapse.
    Anyway like you know, the advantages far outway maintaining a foot in both camps, there’s no comprimise on commitment.
    If there’s anything at all i can do to help drop me a line but for the moment i think its a wonderful idea and i wish ya all the best.

    ps there’s an intresting book i am reading called supernatural by graham hancock, i think you may enjoy it.

    I will have to get me a cd i had no idea there was new material out there, i’m looking forwards to hearing it, and as for ultc i have learnt how to appreiciate the spaces between church releases, it gives me time to fully explore and wander through the landscapes of the last one. I am so happy that we do get to hear all the ‘extras’ it’s a very generous act sk and very appreciated.

    I flicked through a newspaper yesterday and read something about the downfall of leaf and the there was something else about doketty and kate moss, yep looks like the war on drugs is a good excuse to deflect citizens from the real war, in much the same way sports is the opium of the masses one could say media is the massess opium, actually I am not sure if that makes scense at all, but it does sound kind of good.
    Well take care have a good sun day and may the force be with you.

  12. avatar
    Dosty | 22 January 2006 at 1:31 am #

    After smoking lots of pot and drinking lots of booze and cramming yourself with sugars (it truly is biologically astounding what you can cram down your throat when you’ve got the munchies), clearheadness itself becomes like a drug. You start seeing things how they of course always were, but it’s been so long you’ve forgotten, and it all opens up to you again. But it is such a more vigourous, sustained and conscious ‘high’. I haven’t touched most of my demons since Jan 1, and the world really has become a more animated, less foggy, less enervated, jaded place. If we must be honest without ourselves, we cannot deny that the good stuff does cloud our vision, skew our perspective. SK, i wish you all the best with your forthcoming experiment, and I think you might be pleasantly surprised, though you will no doubt occasionally lament (and perhaps revisit-because those days will always be like an old friend)the cerebral mayhem, the wonderful sounds and visions, the beautiful chaos. I think life requires such digressions, if only to remind ourselves not to take it so seriously. It is a kind of therapy, after all.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 2:38 am #

    Good thing about the dishwasher sk. Nasty water/energy-sucking beasts that should be recycled into something useful.

  14. avatar
    ertht | 22 January 2006 at 2:47 am #

    sainthood experiment good idea.

    but why so many tough things?

    isn’t, say, getting off drugs itself a major thing?

    you want to encourage the likelihood of success. can you do all those good things at once? well, you are suprahuman, so maybe you can.

    me, mortal, couldn’t, would reel back in overload. all at once. too much. but maybe that’s just me, struggling soul of godde.

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 2:52 am #

    remember great orpheus who’d charm th’ beasts and coax th’ rocks and trees to gyrate lovingly and incessantly… follow your bliss sk, look down that long road before you go there…

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 3:01 am #

    Endorphins rock, best pain killer out there, (shame took me years to work that out).

  17. avatar
    mike | 22 January 2006 at 3:04 am #

    Good to hear about your daughter!!

    Good luck with your experiment – I myself could never give up tea though!!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 3:15 am #

    Yep, your right, “endogenous morphine”(morphine produced naturally in the body)- 100 times more powerful than man made morphine.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 3:42 am #

    ADD-VICE
    Doing the same myself, since May 05, worth seeing the other side,(after 16 years). Didn’t give up coffee w/ lots of sugar(a man needs a vice, still have a couple of glasses of red too & sex is always good). Smoking ciggs was the hardest one for me. I do 1-2 hrs a day(most days I try to anyway). Don’t be to hard on yourself though.Work hard at keeping it simple is my motto.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 4:30 am #

    More advice….

    For me, moderation has been the key
    remember the pendulum will only go
    so far in one direction, then it
    swings back the other way.
    I live in So California and do the
    yoga, vegan , running etc.. but if
    I want chocolate or tea or a drink
    once in while I go for it, I don’t
    beat myself up over stuff like that.

    MaXine

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 4:57 am #

    Hi SK,
    I think do the health thing, sounds like alot though. I also think, start up slowly on the fitness and cut back slowly (on the MJ), you don’t want to put that body and mind into shock and no guilt, if you miss a day here and there.
    Be gentle and kind to your self.
    Love ya too!

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 5:16 am #

    Good luck Baybee. Sneak up on it, it will feel good. You will be tempted to look over the fence… but you will be fine on your side. If you give it up, in your mind you can still drift away…really. Hope to see ya’ll in texas soon. Enjoyed the chronicles of your hiking adventure!
    Bob from Texas

  23. avatar
    esskayer | 22 January 2006 at 6:06 am #

    Ye Olde Steve:

    It’s me, “Anonymous.” Yes, I KNOW, there are LOTS of anonymi in this place. I have a confession to make. I’m the anonymous who wrote the scathing diatribe against you about drugs n’ straights. Yes, it’s me, that self-righteous, holier-than-thou right-wing Christian goody 2 shoes, who dared to blast a man on his own blog. Guess that’s why I didn’t have the gutz to sign my name. At the time I wasn’t planning on comin’ back here. Ever. I kept praying for you, though, in my own way. Every day thinkin’ about ya. Feeling somewhat bad about the way I unloaded. Never meant to hurt you. But I still meant every word. I’d do it again. It was from my heart with the best intentions (“Tough Love”) Started to miss ole SK (well the parts where he didn’t rant about straights or drugs). However, the curiosity itch was just too big not to scratch. I figured you’d just ignore it, pay no attention to the idiot who lectured you and who said he’d pray for you, and move on. Imagine my surprise when I read the one a few days ago where my post was somewhat the central theme of your blog that day. I really liked how you handled that. The honesty rang true. Even though you seemed to be defending yourself (as we’d all do), I still sensed something going on there beneath the surface–doubts (?), questioning beliefs (?), an opening of sorts (?)….

    It’s true you were probably in rehab before my first Bud Light (good one). You said, “Either you’re with me or you’re not (and if you’re not why are you still here?”) As you can see, I’m still here. I am with you. We are both–and everybody in this world–in the same boat. Temptations, mirages, traps, lies, chains–all abound on this Earth. Somebuddy don’t want us to be happy, and it sure ain’t God. There’s a real struggle going on, a real battle. A war is being waged (and the world’s just a stage). Good vs. Evil. A strong body and mind=enlightenment, peace, tranquility, and yes, happiness. Although it’s not easy, facing life without fear is the greatest high. I hope the journey you have mapped a course for is free of fear and doubt. I will still be prayin’ for you (hope that’s alright w/you). I believe you are an optimist, and you will prevail. Here’s to a GREAT 2006. I love you. –ESSKAYER

  24. avatar
    eek | 22 January 2006 at 7:43 am #

    I had to laugh at your comment about the dishwasher…I have one (I didn’t buy it, it was here). I have yet to use it and I doubt I ever will. I just don’t see the point.

    I always smile when you talk of your daughters…the love you have for them always comes through. All I can say is don’t hold back on expressing that. Even if they roll their eyes and say “Oh dad” (complete with the big sigh only children can do) they are delighted to hear/read your praise. Trust me.

    As for your experiment…do what is good for you, whatever that may be.

  25. avatar
    buzby | 22 January 2006 at 8:17 am #

    steve.. you had me at ‘blunt’. now you say you’re droppin out and goin all hippy-esque? me no likey. i just reconnec†ed with my drug dealer and the home grown is really doing me nice. (btw, if ur in nyc, hit me up)

    but, hey… everyone needs some master cleanse everyonce in awhile… so, i hear ya. just don’t make this a habit, ok?

    alright!? じゃ、またね、
    〜アダム

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 January 2006 at 9:15 am #

    Oh esskayer that was you!

    I’m really disappointed, I had visions that one day we would get together and form a band with you singing your lyrics and me on glockenspiel and tuba, put through a scream distortion guitar pedal.
    I also was going to go to yoga tomorrow, had it booked and everything, but my inner child doesn’t like preached to, by some I don’t know, so fuck it I’m going to go and get loaded.
    I think your kinda disturbed (I know I am and that’s the difference) and if anyone needs saving, I suggest you take one person at a time and start with your self.

    Anon Incognito

  27. avatar
    wytch | 22 January 2006 at 11:32 am #

    i almost bored you to death with my stuff and loads of advice but thankgod I remembered the delete button exists

    just loving hearing your story, feels like I’m going on the journey with you and yet we don’t really know each other

    following my bliss…

  28. avatar
    doll | 22 January 2006 at 2:27 pm #

    love tuning into this blog when i can…as much for the troop of commenteers as for the input of the blogger hisself.
    i just have a reccomendation for all who read this:

    “What The Bleep Do We Know”

    it’s a movie. find it. watch it. US cable subscribers check their Starz Cinema schedule. check your local library.
    it gets into quantum theory/mechanics/physics and how we all have choice to shape our lives. the movie leaves you with questions more powerful than any answers you’ve been trained to believe in about life. with a sense of humor thrown in as well.
    Wiccans and Pagans will understand straightaway.
    ‘thou art god’

    wassail and blessed be!
    doll

  29. avatar
    krissythegroupie | 22 January 2006 at 3:23 pm #

    My friend’s a vegan, and while I think most of the time it’s pretty cool and healthy and full of moral integrity (or somethin like that), noone could tell me not to eat marshmallows. I mean, ya don’t wanna eat em everyday or nuthin, but to have them completely denied? Oh, the horror!

  30. avatar
    CSTCoach | 22 January 2006 at 7:24 pm #

    SK.

    Would be an interesting experiment, to see what voice comes thru, without those filters…

    Wouldn’t do it all at once, though. Incremental changes are more lasting, less painful.

    If there’s anything at all that I can do to help you in this adventure, you can find me here: http://www.cstcoach.com/ryanm.htm Would be honoured, and happy to give somethin back in some small way.

    ryan

  31. avatar
    bpd | 22 January 2006 at 9:12 pm #

    Big challenge, blow your routine.
    Once I couldn’t play music without it now I can’t play with it – took a long time. Balance.

    bpd

  32. avatar
    mendosa | 22 January 2006 at 9:27 pm #

    What about moderation, the good old middle way? I’ve read that the toughest path of all is to be a yogi while immersd in samsara.

  33. avatar
    BDC | 22 January 2006 at 9:30 pm #

    Some days the comments are as interesting as the blog. For different reasons, but still…

  34. avatar
    verdelay | 22 January 2006 at 10:55 pm #

    I look forward to finding out what it’s like to go clear. Lucky we have sk to intrepidly sally forth and find out for us, eh kids?

    Meanwhile I gotta go smoke me some sage through a mars bar…

    vdly

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 January 2006 at 12:06 am #

    Sk,
    Kinda like that guy that ate Maccas for 30 days & did a movie.
    You should get in contact with him or anyone who might listen at the
    Aust Film Commission – could make a good doco. Besides u need somethin to keep ya goin to get over that initial hurdle.
    AND if u rolled outa bed 20 yrs ago & startd talking to the animals was that when u wrote Metropolis? if so u shud defin8ly do it again cause that was a fuckn gud song.
    Cheers,

    Dutch Pierre

  36. avatar
    paula | 23 January 2006 at 9:25 am #

    funny before i read this i was feeling to do the same.end the poison of the toxic mornings.freed from the shackles of the old ‘catch 22 lager and a lie down’routine.im with u all the way!frequent frying days have passed,can exist no longer with my mask at half mast.may i suggest beginning with cleansing colonic.be very intertested to see how u fare.good luck!love light peaces of stillness 2u,.

  37. avatar
    daydreamer | 23 January 2006 at 5:32 pm #

    oh heavens, I thought I deleted that!

    sorry.

  38. avatar
    adult | 1 February 2006 at 11:14 pm #

    thanks
    gay

  39. avatar
    orpheus | 12 February 2006 at 6:27 pm #

    i also received the KH freebie in Dec. all the songs are great.
    it was interesting to compare all the Kilbey bros. singing voices. hard to differentiate.

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