posted on June 3, 2010 at 12:14 pm


everything i thought i knew about myself is wrong
money flies out of my bank account
money evaporates as it sits in the drawer
money taken by the spirits
i am not clean
i am grimy
a dirty fighter who always loses in the end
something so fundamentally wrong with my picture
some instrument in my orchestra can never get in tune
some unseen error in my calculus fucks up the answer
you never saw someone so close
so fucking close to this
so fucking close to that
but in the end…..what?
a 2 byte singer
knocking out 4th form poetry
in a place wheres theres no school magazines anymore
weak and feeble and docile and grubby
i can do some yoga pose but inside im inflexible and snap….
look at me whinging on the internet
i guess you are
listen to me rave on about my inadequacies
my false modesty
too late to be fucking humble mate
i can sling a sentence together
i’m a real smart alec sander
i’m a clown at a funeral
a spare prostitute at a pricks wedding
i couldnt go a round in a revolving door
now youre confused
who are you sticking up for ….me?
you know deep down i am a ratbag
you almost like it when it suits you
a clever little ratbag but a ratbag nonetheless
flagellating my straps moaning down easy street
as i squander the $ i made from some useless behemoth
still with enough energy and time to discount my blessings tho
re read the liner notes to the soundtrack of yer lives then
have another look at the finite print
cop another high
cop another low
a new low
a whole brand new low
how low can ya go?
i still dunno

38 Responses to “reboot”

  1. avatar
    Broken Toys and Heros | 3 June 2010 at 1:12 pm #

    I hope that u can sweep away the muck, wash off the stench and see ur reflection…ur a blessed man to have many friends and peers, fans who adore u, and a family of unconditional love. it depresses me a bit when u reflect so low. u soar high above-the heavens and space are ur playground. try not to distort ur present state-it will only rust the future as well.

    as always,

    DJK082067
    Chicago

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 June 2010 at 1:44 pm #

    You truly are a ratbag, your first true statement on this blog.

  3. avatar
    john | 3 June 2010 at 1:49 pm #

    S,

    at least reflect on joy u have brought fans wwho across the globe across the decades. you r judged by your peers and that is manifest by the groups who do ur songs that are relevant

  4. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 3 June 2010 at 2:01 pm #

    'Cmon now.

    Love, glynnis

  5. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 3 June 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    You might be too talented and enlightened for this fallen, wretched, violent, evil and cretinous world. It's mortifying to ponder that "Kiss" has millions more fans than the venerable "The Church."

    When he was 8 Morrissey realized this world was beyond dreadful when he learned about the existence of hellish slaughterhouses.

  6. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 3 June 2010 at 4:25 pm #

    Big difference in attitude compared to yesterday's blog. But I know what you mean. In my case, money's never been so tight. And I don't even have 4-6 kids. I'll probably never have even 1 (can't afford it).

    I wish I could start "all over". I'd like to emmigrate to California, preferably L.A. Now, if I could only find a job. Any job, really. I'm not picky. Anyone? 🙂

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 June 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    fuck off

  8. avatar
    m.p.k | 3 June 2010 at 4:51 pm #

    Embrace your inner dirtbag! I know and love mine. In fact, it's almost a preferred state of being for me.

  9. avatar
    Mary | 3 June 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    I dont think anyone can be as low as me 🙁

  10. avatar
    Cocoamo | 3 June 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    Dear Steve:

    I think you are suffering from the affliction we all succumb to now and then, the human condition? We have all been there, all of us charlatans in fear of being exposed…

    The funny thing is that so many of your works (with and without the Church), after so many listens prove to have every single note, every drum beat and lilt of your voice exactly, perfectly where they should be.

    I sit and stare at my Kilbey pictures…how DO you do it? When all is said and done, you may be remembered for your art more than anything.

    And – your (sometimes gently, sometimes not) encouraging people to consider that the meat on their forks was walking around not so long ago? You don't get popular pointing that out, do you?

    You have the courage of your convictions–a rare quality. Your honesty is also so rare and so refreshing. We look up to you, respect and admire you.

    And encouraging us to watch our weight, do Yoga– you really do change people's lives. Last winter I took Yoga 5 days a week from 2 wonderful teachers, all on your continued urging.

    So, if it's any comfort, you DO change our lives for the good, and that's not just nothing.

    In case I have not reiterated it again lately, I am so glad you are here on this earth. So many of us are truly grateful.

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 June 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    You missed th' boat
    You're a penny short
    (& the check bounced)
    Size 9's too small, 9 1/2's too big
    Sorry, we're all sold out
    The check's in the mail
    Past Due-Pay Immediately

    I can relate…

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 June 2010 at 7:29 pm #

    I don't know you, but I think it might be time to make the changes necessary to put the rat past behind, climb out of the rathole and move up and on. Nothing matters except tomorrow. Like McCartney says… "I was a Beatle in a good band – that is not 'me' today — that was Paul of yesteryear" .. But now he is becoming a skank because of politics — He is supporting Obama just because Obama gave him the Gershwin award. I am so disgusted, that I am selling ALL of my McCartney collectibles, promo CD's, Signed items, and moving on. Sure, I will still love his music, just like I still love fag Elton John's music who thinks Jesus was a fag.

    I am moving to The Church. Now get over yourself and get your shit together, because I don't need to be loving a rat. Been there did that.

    Prayers to you for happiness, success and gaining control of your dissipating cash … You control IT — It does not control you. If it is not an asset — Get rid of it. Material possessions are nought. You only need it for your children's future needs.

    It's what's in the heart, blah blah blah — but it's true. Try a small home-type garden, and plant some seeds and plants – and flowers – roses, and go to work in it early in the morning when it is quiet, and God will be all around you. It is SO soothing for the soul. No, don't hire someone to plant you a garden. You can get help for the digging and hard part … getting started, but you must plant yourself, and baby those plants — and water them! You do it, and go to your garden — and in a few months you will feel so much better!

    Hugs to you. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than we should be. Prayers for a better tomorrow.

  13. avatar
    evilren | 3 June 2010 at 7:33 pm #

    I feel ya SteveO, I just got back from the dentist today, another 4 bills on a tooth I already spent
    1400. on–all so I can have some teeth when I'm
    old. The "new" economy takes it's toll and we're all asked to lower our prices as things continue to go up and over the top. I can't seem to buy a break. The math comparison is so right on. I remember striving to get the right answer, step by careful step
    only to somehow miss the mark. Everyday sets a
    new all-time "how low can you go mark," all for
    what, I don't know. I remember a different time,
    struggles and triumphs, I have lived them all before, maybe things are supposed to be tough
    before we exit the wheel of rebirth. We still have
    the ability to appreciate each other. Be well.

    ren

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 June 2010 at 7:34 pm #

    P.S. You do not have the eyes of a rat! Please post a pic where we can see those beautiful eyes once in awhile. ie. lose the specs and smile for God's sake! People used to tell me that, and I hated it — It made me want to smile less …. but now I understand. It's called 'lighten up'!

    Posting anon cuz I am having probs remembering passwords! =8-}

  15. avatar
    evilren | 3 June 2010 at 7:38 pm #

    oh, by the way, thanks for putting the "fun" back
    in funeral!

    yer pal

    ren

  16. avatar
    cazziem | 3 June 2010 at 8:39 pm #

    Didn't I question your need to work on your logic only yesterday? Now look what's happened, you're questioning the unanswerable questions of life we all ask from ourselves from time to time.

    Just look around you, you loved and admired by so many. Therefore, good, bad or indifferent it really is ok to be the person you are. xx

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 June 2010 at 9:00 pm #

    I know the feeling, mate…..

  18. avatar
    davem | 3 June 2010 at 9:03 pm #

    Yep. Sticking up for you. Always.
    xxx

  19. avatar
    eek | 3 June 2010 at 9:11 pm #

    From "things are good" to this blog in a little over 24 hours? Aww, Steve. 🙁

    "who are you sticking up for ….me?"

    Yep. And I always will. There's a lot of good in you, Steve. And some ratbagness, too. Hey, everyone has some ratbagness in them. But you've always been wonderful to me, so yep, I'm going to stick up for you…and I'm going to keep on liking you.

    "how low can ya go?"

    I'd say coming home needing to burn all the clothes you were wearing and then taking a bleach bath is definitely a contender in that contest. You haven't done that (right??), so I don't think you've gotten there yet. 🙂

  20. avatar
    restaurant mark | 3 June 2010 at 9:40 pm #

    come on…you're alright. no more or less screwed up than the rest of us.
    maybe low is the new high…

    griffo

  21. avatar
    knot | 3 June 2010 at 10:03 pm #

    that is what vodka is for

  22. avatar
    fantasticandy | 3 June 2010 at 10:05 pm #

    nah…
    your'e still my mainman.

  23. avatar
    kl | 3 June 2010 at 11:28 pm #

    oh please…i hate it when you do this.

  24. avatar
    princey | 3 June 2010 at 11:58 pm #

    Hi sk, NO!, you're not a ratbag, just a human(time)being, who's had a life of ups and downs(as we were all informed in Luries book), and you made a few wrong turns here and there, but who hasn't?. At least it's been an interesting life for you sk, after everything, you seem kind of settled and happy now(except when you write blogs like this one!!!)

    This might sound a bit selfish, but so much great music has been created by you for us out here, and alot of it's been written from all your suffering and hardships, and I thank you from the bottom of me wee heart for it Killsy, music heals the soul, thats for sure! (I'm listening to Big Star's Sister/Lovers, some of the most beautiful, simple songs, and beautiful music&words lifts the spirit to an ultimate high dunnit?)

    Have a beautiful day sk and hope to hear from a not-so-low Timey Being soon:)
    love Amanda

  25. avatar
    eek | 4 June 2010 at 12:31 am #

    anon at 5:29am re: your first paragraph — what the hell kind of asshole are you?

  26. avatar
    Cocoamo | 4 June 2010 at 1:16 am #

    Ok – after all this seriousness (not the least of which was mine…)

    I'm getting a sicko vision of a woman in tight capris, big, sprayed, pouffed up red hair, copious jewelry, big sunglasses, well exposed cleavage, and stiletto heels, cracking her gum.

    She peers down into her huge purse and out pops the head and paws of a little dogette.–OMG it has a Steve Kilbey face (like the photo here with the giant eyebrows, complete with glasses).

    She makes kissy noises and pokes at his face with her crimson claw-like nails and coooos in baby-talk voice, "Who's mommie's little ratbag, who's a little ratbag"

    The dogette gives a low growl (with a slight reverb)

    Future vision of reincarnation? Shudder

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania

  27. avatar
    LF | 4 June 2010 at 1:30 am #

    All that moving around in time can be hard on a person. Maybe some small task can help shrink the Now back to a manageable size? Hang in there.

  28. avatar
    Danger Bird | 4 June 2010 at 2:22 am #

    An English professor named Jack, who taught at the Univ of Suds Consumption once told me "we all begin a slow fade for the moment we are born", so I always expect things to get worse, they usually do, so dont worry about it, no country for old men, you certainly deserve a coin toss.

  29. avatar
    Melquiades | 4 June 2010 at 2:57 am #

    Steve, I love your candor. not many can put it down in words. I think a lot of us think the same depricating thoughts and its refreshing to see the rawness you reveal. I know I appreciate it. you're one in a million, man.

    Brien C. you said, "You might be too talented and enlightened for this fallen, wretched, violent, evil and cretinous world. "

    I think you hit it on the head, man. I know I feel that I am too sensitive for this world at times as well. and at the same time I am caught up in it's carnival attractions. It's a mixed bag of thinking this world is too corrupt and at the same time feeling just as corrupt as the species you deride.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 June 2010 at 4:36 am #

    To the anon above who is getting rid of the Paul McCartney stuff. Don't. Obviously you are not aware that Steve is also an Obama sycophant. Ignore the politics. To anyone outside the US Obama probably seems great for the same reasons he was elected. Hope and change, gives a great speech etc. You have to live in the US day to day to realize the corruption, lying, and downright incompetence not to mention muslim lover american hater he is. 10 percent unemployment after spending a trillion on stimulus even though we are in debt up to our ears. Refusing to secure the border. Jamming health care down our throats with open bribes to senators. Obama even called in avatar director to give his opinion on the oil spill. Jesus we are in for a long couple of years until the next election. I digress. The bottom line is you have to divorce the politics from the artist or you will lose your sanity.

    Sydney Potter, Atlanta Ga

  31. avatar
    Steven Krut | 4 June 2010 at 4:58 am #

    You think you've got problems? I just scratched my iPad!!!

  32. avatar
    Mary | 4 June 2010 at 7:49 am #

    eek, that moron anon is just a low life sack of sh!t, just ignore him, he is wanting attention lol and steven krut you crack me up!!! lol

  33. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 4 June 2010 at 8:18 am #

    you can be an asshole sometimes? well so can i….join the club…..

    love always……

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 June 2010 at 8:26 am #

    One morning I was driving in Nashville — not my favorite place, but I was there for three years… anyway, they do have a wonderful/fairly independent radio station that quite often you catch yourself saying, wow… they played that!

    Well this one morning Under The Milkyway was played — had not heard for long time as vinyl had been replaced by CDs… collection had not been renewed for all the vinyl lost.

    Anyway — the point: the radio announcer came on after the song had ended… I was sad it ended (probably that was the moment that prompted me to go out and re-buy albums I missed terribly in CD format); you miss beautiful things only once your give pause to realize they're gone. But I was happy/smirking too — some radio announcer in Music City/Nashville TN got it and in a very fond nostalgic whisper (believable…) stated to the whole listening audience that this was the absolute Best rock song ever written; ever! He was seriously cooing… He was correct in giving aaccolades and my coperson in car (teen at that time) became a new fan; so actually I never had to be self-indulgent; … I bought him all the cds… and he copied them for me.

    …the above, silly

    …think Greek tragedies for your low.

    Then make little doll placemats out of woven blades of grass…

    Perspective will return or it won't matter.

  35. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 4 June 2010 at 8:35 am #

    After all this kiss ass. i have to ask… what would your mother say to all this?

    She seems a strong, well reliant woman. And you apparently have 4 living with you.

    So figure it the hell out.

    I love you like the sun loves the moon.

    But this shit is nauseating.

    This life that we are leading…are leading a difficult trek.

    No egos spared. i am willing to suppose that the cruel hand of unrecognizable genius has passed upon you at one Thyme Being or another.

    No need to post this.

    I am just thinking out loud to myself about your supposed conundrum. The one i am supposed to feel sorry for.

    Really?

    I just spent the last 2 years looking for work and eventually finding a steady situation.
    Of which i am ridiculously thankful for. No dole.

    So pucker up butter cup.
    Shit could be much more UN-NICE.

    Love, glynnis

  36. avatar
    somewhere in seattle | 4 June 2010 at 1:17 pm #

    it's never how we fall is it… it's how we get up

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 June 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    Steve — things could be worse, you could be a Pelican on the Louisiana coast right now.

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 June 2010 at 8:32 am #

    Steve, go for a swim and let it wash away. And yes, not on the Gulf coast….


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