posted on December 4, 2010 at 8:36 am

reg kilbey : whereabouts unknown

hello i’m reg kilbey

i come round for a kiss n cuddle with yer wife

when youre not there

i didnt think youd mind seeing i was on the tv a bit

thats me in that ad for nestles wild raspberry bar

thats my voice in the jingle for daddy dingles special fruit tingles

thats my hand in the 13th frame

thats my life squashed between those 2 centuries

thats my little brittle memories up on yer screen, dean

you know who i am, lamb

me n my lady bint jump in the motor

we cruise swampy evening uncontrolled

past familiar dips the christmas lights

inside people drinking beer watching sport eating din dins

hey love find summink on the bloody radio for me will ya

she seeks and searches while static n fragments explode on my nicked speakers

cmon a pair of namagotchi speakers for 250 smackers….?

who can resist a deal like that…..i dont care where stuff comes from

sure enough david neil comes on the radio

i mean well of course

the night unfolds

we swing over to some friends place in the inner south

neck some good vino understand

charlie comes out and some bastard racks em up

humid night pal heat up that plate

my bit o fluff helps her self freely

i mean so do i too

eventually charlie disappears and i feel fucken restless

we pile into jonesys white audi panther with the cat scan seats from star-hide

i neck some stiff drink from jonesys hip flask

things rush by out there

the seaside is fucking pumping alright

we roll up under some no stopping never sign

fuck that ! jonesy kicks at sign like a stupid buck

i stagger off towards the black sea lit up in stabs of green n ice blue

i frown at the boys wandering thru the park

i leer at the girls all dressed up n drunk

i’m reg oh yeah some of em recognise me

ooh reg says some dolled up tottie with a liptick brain

yeah i grunt really suavely because i’m quite classy really

ooh reg i loved you with the wild raspberry bar she gushes

then her stupid husband breaks into our meaningful conversation

thats right reg the missus loves that ad …!

i immediately take a disliking to the man

its a shame his wife spent her money n life married to ‘im

when she coulda been with me for 5 minutes tonight

still i autograph her packet of virginia slims menthols

reg kilbey loves ya darlin’ i scrawl in tiny letters over the govt warning

xxx xxx

i walk away from em

i scowl n i growl in the dark

the sea all viscous n black like dirty oil in a crims motor

i dont care for the sea myself

you never catch old reg surfing the fucking billows

whats a fucking billow anyway

look you can take the boy outta london

but you cant take the london outta the boy

sydney australia big deal

i’m sharper than the lot of them

with my fucking sun tan n all

appearing on bloody telly too if you please

anyway seeing i know jonesys not at home

i nip round to say hello to his girlfriend

ooh reg she says going all funny as i stand at the door

ok listen this is where i came in ok

this is where the story begin

we back to the start ezzactly where we was before

reg k in universe 23 (a)

sophisticated as all harry

oh harry……


52 Responses to “reg trade marked”

  1. avatar
    princey | 4 December 2010 at 8:43 am #

    Ha, you’re a killa, killer. ‘Ave a great night tonight too.

  2. avatar
    cassia | 4 December 2010 at 9:19 am #

    hello how are you? this picture was taken in Brazil?

  3. avatar
    Ronnie | 4 December 2010 at 9:32 am #

    Well I just gotta say it. I prefer and miss the old Kilbey, the arrogant cunt Kilbey and I miss the aloof and mysterious Church.
    This, new , making up for lost time, recovering junkie kilbey..nah.
    But I know you can’t please all the people all the time.

    Ronnie Smyth esq. liar, theif and coward

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 5 December 2010 at 7:56 am #

      at least i can fucken spell thief tho ronnie

      • avatar
        Ronnie | 5 December 2010 at 4:10 pm #

        Fuck it – my considered opinion and abuse foiled by a stupid typo, damn you Reg Kilbey!
        Ronnie Smyth Esq. liar, thief and coward
        P.S I fixed up the capital in Esq.

  4. avatar
    evilren | 4 December 2010 at 10:28 am #

    if ya stay holed up too long, things get dangerous when
    ya step out (into universe 23 or the Bondi underbelly).

  5. avatar
    Freddie | 4 December 2010 at 11:08 am #

    Reg, you’re a scoundrel!! Grrrrrr!!!!


  6. avatar
    Wiild Chiild | 4 December 2010 at 11:44 am #

    Haha love it!
    I’m hearing Reg spin his yarns in a cockney dialect
    I can see him ‘angin about with the likes of Arthur Daley (‘Minder’)
    Ahhh Reg…”the world is your lobster”!

  7. avatar
    Donna | 4 December 2010 at 1:11 pm #

    Ooooh, Reg!!! You make me laugh…I’d like to see you surf them billows!

  8. avatar
    dwellingwell | 4 December 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    That reminds me of the gang in “A touch of evil”. The ones in the Hotel Denis Weaver was working at. What a great film that was. Anyways. Here are some American bands I like. They all have ,,,Poet/singers,,,, and their music is real good and melodious.
    THE SHINS Nice lyric in the chorus here ” But if you turn, to me now, like a gull takes to the wind”

    nice lyric here”This is the fallen land with the sprayed on tans and it all feels fine”

    I met the singer for this band years ago when they played in San Diego. We talked about what happened to “his” Rock N Roll etc. He was nice and wise

    This lyric “Mothers teach you to crawl, fathers teach you to rise or fall , Mothers grieve for us all, fathers teach you to take it on”

    Band of Horses

  9. avatar
    Michelle Roach | 4 December 2010 at 3:28 pm #

    Love it!

  10. avatar
    adamant | 4 December 2010 at 3:50 pm #

    palm trees nodding… alright.

  11. avatar
    Tanya | 4 December 2010 at 3:52 pm #

    Such tongue n’ cheek, comedic flair! Quite amusing & always entertaining. Ezzactly what I needed after a long mundane day…

  12. avatar
    hellbound heart | 4 December 2010 at 4:14 pm #

    …imagined a raspy cockney accent with this…..rough liquor and smoking rollies…

    love always…….

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 4 December 2010 at 5:51 pm #

    With a next line something of the sorts: “oh… God! It hasn’t suffered; …I wouldn’t suffer… I give up my purpose to stay here” (U23) … it’s the pilot for a series.

  14. avatar
    andy | 4 December 2010 at 9:01 pm #

    good stuff killer!

  15. avatar
    eekie | 4 December 2010 at 10:05 pm #

    “yeah i grunt really suavely because i’m quite classy really”

    Oh my…this made me laugh! I needed that.

  16. avatar
    davem | 4 December 2010 at 10:51 pm #

    Bunnymen tonight Steve.
    Along with The Church they’re the band I’ve seen most often in my life. I don’t love their music like I love yours, but when they’re on form they’ve produced some of the best gigs I’ve ever been to. But when Macca is disinterested………….fingers crossed.

  17. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 5 December 2010 at 4:13 am #



    Your on a roll lately, the click-clack-clicking of that brain of yours is wired for inception. My oh My, your hittin the high notes now killer. I asked…i begged for something warm in this cold cold city of mine with the wind and frosty snow…Brrrrrr…and you did it brother !!!! You heated up my soul, my vision, my being. But there is only one Time Being…and your ruling the universe now baby !!! FUCKING HOT HOT HOT HOT !!!!!!!!!!!

    Darrin K.

    Cross your fingers for me and chant something smooth and cool, I underwent 2 MRI scans this morning (Saturday). One on my cervical spine…the other in the lumbar region. I have a messed up spine due to past employment and now its degenerating and the pain is fucking crazy bad. So…the docs wanted more pictures of my insides before they formulate a ‘new plan’ in how to treat my chronic/acute pain besides all their DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS. Multiple disc herniations and severe stenosis is what is destroying me…just hope that these new tests dont show more problems because the pain can become unbearable. Cross your fingers for me and good luck with every second of the tour. Man, I miss you guys. Get back to Chicago in the summer of 2011 if you can.

    • avatar
      Jonny Hollywood | 6 December 2010 at 9:57 am #

      I am crossing my fingers for you Darrin K and I am hoping to take all your pain away with my smoker friendly ways πŸ™‚

    • avatar
      BigSmilesKate | 6 December 2010 at 11:54 am #

      I’ll cross my fingers for you Darrin. Best of luck.
      Big Smiles


      • avatar
        BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 7 December 2010 at 4:37 am #

        Thanks guys !!!!! Love all of you !!!!

        I wrote a couple days ago that my 19yr old son Alex, who is a budding guitarist, was called in to play drums for his friends band : MarrowStone Light. the song is inspired by ‘Pink Floyd” and ‘the church’, who my son turned these guys onto. they are all 18-19 guys who are great young men and the show is at a legendary music school here in Chicago, The Old Town School of Music and Arts. Alex never played drums before and is using the school’s set. The bassist, Carlos, is Alex’s best friend. Its kinda long but the last 2-3 minutes are pretty cool. I am very proud of my son and his friends, and concerned about the strange dancers who appear in the video LMOA LMOA LMOA !!!!. Alex can really shredd on the guitar, but I think its really cool that he tried to help his friends out by playing drums. I am a proud pappa of my kids and for the fact that Alex would even share ‘the church’ with his friends.

        the address is :

        So please check it out and ‘comment’ if you desire.

        Darrin K.

  18. avatar
    dwellingwell | 5 December 2010 at 5:03 am #

    Good advice. I already did that. Just needs to go through. Anyways. I missed a few in my youtube comp of American bands I like. One more shins tune from their early period. They recorded this in a basement in Portland . The other 2 are early matt Costa. He was a known skateboarder in Newport beach and broke his leg. He was healing in bed for 6 months and during that time wrote the songs for his 1st record . Anyways, here are 3 more youtubes…….. The Shins: Girl Inform me: “But your lips when you speak are the valleys and peaks of a mountain range on fire”
    “Unkown quotents you must be using potents how else could you tie my head to the sky”

    Matt Costa
    My Favorite one of his songs

  19. avatar
    sarah | 5 December 2010 at 6:28 am #

    those “immediate disliking” have witnessed me throwing punches sometimes! no shit. you sound more refined and polite them i am. nice poem. the inflation/deflation is palpable.

  20. avatar
    Steven Krut | 5 December 2010 at 9:05 am #

    Reg seems like the faux celebrity from Hell via the 11th dimension. One of your stock characters? πŸ™‚

    Hey, you like music from the early 70s, so you might like this:

    I realized I’d never heard anything by these guys so I looked them up. Pretty cool vibe. Sounds surprising contemporary in some ways.

  21. avatar
    dwellingwell | 5 December 2010 at 9:55 am #

    “Well I just gotta say it. I prefer and miss the old Kilbey, the arrogant cunt Kilbey and I miss the aloof and mysterious Church.
    This, new , making up for lost time, recovering junkie kilbey..nah.
    But I know you can’t please all the people all the time.”

    Yeah it pleases you to see people mangled and re-active ? Would you like some more caracature for you hipster consumption? How nice for you. Like “Keep music evil”. Codswallop. Music isn’t Evil. The must un-hip upsidedown people are all mangled cynics steep-ed in their little cups of darkness. That shit is an assmbly line off the shelf mindset.They sell them at Costco now. “My hate comes in frozen packs bought in a supermarket” To Quote the Jam.

  22. avatar
    onticsofton | 5 December 2010 at 10:01 am #

    I wish I could see the Bunneymen tonight.

  23. avatar
    outereye | 5 December 2010 at 12:10 pm #

    Will ever see Reg on Bondi Rescue??

  24. avatar
    Heather daydream | 5 December 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    The Church were brilliant in Canberra last night. If that gig is anything to go by, the Opera House will be the gig of the century.

  25. avatar
    neptune | 5 December 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    for reg, david and mr. kilbey

    * * * * *

  26. avatar
    matthew | 6 December 2010 at 2:38 am #

    Steve – TRULY marvellous set at Tilley’s! The acoustic arrangements are sensitive, striking and well thought-out. (“Jazz Reptile” immediately conjured The Kinks for me, rocking that song in an entirely different but strong direction!) Onstage banter was hilarious too, my invited public servant friend was guffawing heartily at all the industry in-jokes!

    Well I wanted to say hi, but by the time I’d overcome my inhibitions, you’d scarpered… had a nice chat to Marty afterwards anyway!

    Cheers man.

  27. avatar
    hippy | 6 December 2010 at 8:24 am #

    I like Reg Smithies of The Chameleons more. The spiky hair, chain-smoking, guitar riffing. Oh, and he painted pictures, too.

  28. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 6 December 2010 at 9:59 am #

    sounds like me and reg need to hang out and burn one, how long has it been esskay???

  29. avatar
    Melissa | 6 December 2010 at 11:12 am #

    Hi Steve πŸ˜€ Just dropping by to let you know how much I loved the Tilley’s show in Can-bera, what a privilege it is to be sitting right up front and centre (and lookin’ up yer noses, lol) feeling the full impact of your incredible music and performance. A lovely and cozy venue it was too! I particularly loved Tear it All away, Almost with You, Grind … it is just always so wonderful to watch Peter and Marty play their guitars soooo beautiful …. it just boggles my mind how talented you guys are.

    I definately now have a new found appreciation of you all (and any touring band) … how do you guys do it!!!! Traipsing around the countryside for weeks on end!!! Unfortunately, I finally conked out last night after a pretty full on last few days and had to depart Notes early. I only managed a few mouthfulls of fettucine when I decided it was pretty obvious that I needed to back to the hotel and go back to bed. Maybe I caught a bit of heatstroke, roasting away in the U2 queue last Friday, lol. I hope the show went fantastically well, as I’m sure it would of πŸ˜‰

    Can’t wait to it’s Melby’s turn, when I’m sure to be well rested by then!

    lotsa love to ya! xx

  30. avatar
    BigSmilesKate | 6 December 2010 at 11:57 am #

    So – Reg,
    I pictured him as that guy on that Coffee milk ad – hungry/thirsty. Sure he also sings the Big W ad, but I’ve never noticed his hand pop up anywhere else……hmmmnnn
    Big Smiles

  31. avatar
    Karen | 6 December 2010 at 12:37 pm #

    sounds like some sleazy old uncle I didnt like when I was younger

    disagree with ronnie …although I do get my ie ei’s mixed up too its a typlexic thing..

    sooo … new posts sk’s been working like a dog ” wanted to hear how the tilleys gig went..its been a hard days night.”
    Ina beatley mood today thanks to my older bro’s and sisters… In my head forever

    reminds me… John lennon was shot around this time in 1980… the 8th
    I still remember .. sunbaking with the radio on I was stunned when I heard… ( plus I only had bananna oil on slip slop slap back then) John lennon shot I was sixteen and sunburnt sad day

    we all shine on like the moon & the stars & the sun

  32. avatar
    dwellingwell | 6 December 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    Here are some 60’s California bands
    “I see you. under there, behind your hair ,I see you. I see you, turned on eyes, can’t tell lies, empathize, I see you”

  33. avatar
    bionicanna | 7 December 2010 at 5:03 am #

    whatta man

  34. avatar
    dwellingwell | 7 December 2010 at 7:07 am #

    Nice when I am in “Youtube mode” that there is a blog where I can post some of these selections .The Amboy Dukes are not from California .I like that one song. Nothing else. . .
    This band was from New York: The Left Banke . I really like the vocal at “up in the air and yet with both feet on the ground” The 60’s had great singers. The golden age of Pop music. I just wish I could live there in a time warp between 1965 and 1972. I would never come back.
    Lennon influence on this one

  35. avatar
    cazziem | 7 December 2010 at 7:13 am #

    Hey SK,

    I came across this quote today and thought of you: –

    ‘You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.’

  36. avatar
    BigSmilesKate | 7 December 2010 at 9:24 am #

    Drum Roll Please,

    As of this morning, The Faithful (Kate [and Craig], Melissa, Amanda and Mary) have tickets to the Opera House!! Woo Hoo!

    Even Bigger Smiles

  37. avatar
    hippy | 7 December 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    Somebody stop that guy from pasting YouTube clips, it is getting annoying…

  38. avatar
    princey | 7 December 2010 at 3:08 pm #

    Thanks SO much Kate, wow, row D between sk’n’mwp, nothing could be finer……

    Time for some new Time Being I hope,

    Love Amanda

    • avatar
      BigSmilesKate | 7 December 2010 at 8:55 pm #

      Hey Amanda,
      My mistake, same seats but row E for exciting.

  39. avatar
    B.Bon | 7 December 2010 at 4:21 pm #

    I say, Big Smiling Kate, how did you get tickets? I didn’t think they were on sale until the 10th?

    Do tell.


  40. avatar
    BigSmilesKate | 7 December 2010 at 8:52 pm #

    Hey B Bon – It was mentioned in the Church list; I signed up to Opera House for $110 bucks 1 year membership. Oprah House members were able to get tix from today. Not fully open allocation but some choice premium spots. Tix are only about $80. We split the cost of membership over the 5 tickets so cost us a mere $100 each. Will be in Newcastle Friday with no internet access so wanted to make sure I had booked before leaving thursday.

    See you there!
    Big Smiles

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 8 December 2010 at 12:14 am #

      Great job getting those tickets !!!!! I bet that big smile goes a long way, even across the internet.

      Darrin K.

  41. avatar
    onticsofton | 9 December 2010 at 2:25 am #

    I agree Hippy. It is really annoying. That guy is a spastic with the youtubes. Here we are in a profoundly focused state (Gereda-A-Go-Go) and this weirdo comes along and makes us have to do extra scrolling past all this far out rubbish we don’t dig anyways. Cheeky monkey. Maybe we should kick him off this site. Or maybe he will just get the hint and leave us to the peace of our pews

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