posted on April 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm


i am a fool i am everywhere

a party in a courtyard

its raining

people stand around drinking and laughing

i smoke a spliff in the darkness frowning

the orchestra taking five

the flutes and trombones

the violas and the bass

the mercurial sound of their overhang

my ears ring on n on

my eyes blur and hurt

my mind churns deep

other than that its a black monday night

black as spades in spades

blacks as clubs too or maybe blacker

the silver rain falls in desperate tropical spurts

i get wet just gettin’ out of my car called tibi

i am a pagan i am stupidly stupid

i enter a room like ive landed from outta space

sometimes im a old man walking like a snake

sometimes i appear in the past as rosy cheeked youth

i dream of filthy rotten rich nights

i swim through an ocean of pale naked women

their hair floats around me as i sink into all that flesh

all those voices whispering my name in my neck

fuck i’d need a bouy oh ha ha

my dream turns sour

i’m crawling around under a table looking for venus

is that a metaphor or a meta 4

i’m sitting with my axe in my small hands

i’m gonna cut off the bud at the head

waking up into the moving yesterday still available in some places

no you can never go back its sideways

follow that hunch buts its a jinx

follow the link but its a 404 error

its a missing link

page not found but floundering

somethings are lost

other things are there forever

some things you never had

something you always got

its ok




21 Responses to “sass soon”

  1. avatar
    B.Bon | 5 April 2011 at 12:04 am #

    Ah, sir….

    I don’t get here as often as I might like too….there are many things I would like to do less of in order to join more frequently with this group of digressers…alas it cannot be so.

    I did make a plan, however, to free myself most perfectly for an evening of indulgence at the Sydney Opera House in the near future. I cannot tell you how I am looking forward to it, how I have every intention of losing myself in the night and making the most of this all too brief interlude from my life.

    I am keeping you dearly in mind throughout this week, Comrade Kilbey, as I know this event will be as powerful and lifting for you as it is for all of us – the viewers, the audience, the appreciators – the true believers. There is also something special about a home town gig I believe- and it don’t get much better than the SOH in Sydney.

    Looking forward to seeing you on Sunday.


  2. avatar
    Abel | 5 April 2011 at 1:02 am #

    Impressions caused by all the noise around? I wonder what you’ll be thinking amid silence…

  3. avatar
    aisatsu | 5 April 2011 at 1:07 am #

    “still available in some places”

    Only thing I’ve read yet, only your blog and coffee so far. I’m going to hear that line for the rest of the day and try not to laugh out loud – I have errands and people will notice all that silent amusement. S’great. I’ve found out so much about my family’s past in the last week that my yesterday IS still moving. That guy who ran the Reality Creator website, I wonder if he’s still around? He used to tell me to go back into the past and yank what I need to know up here, then take the revamped product *back* to that kid. The Bergs’ Names of G_d moving screensaver flashing me time travel was possible, will that code work on my new computer? If I can find it?

    waking up into the moving yesterday still available in some places

    Thank you for that. I’m wishing you very much well lately. Be well. Be warm.

  4. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 5 April 2011 at 4:07 am #

    Ponder this oh wise sage (and fellow junior sages)…

    Today, Monday morning here in Chicago, The big loco newspaper dedicated a FULL FUCKING page, and page 3 for even more laughs (real news of the Libyan turmoil – found on page 21 !!!), to Mr. Charlie Sheen and his ‘roadshow’ visit to my great city. He ‘performed?’ at the esteemed
    Chicago Theater (Fuck you guys haven’t even stepped foot in there I imagine). His ‘Chicago’ stop on his 20 city tour was a ‘success?’ over prior nights Detroit debacle. He received standing ovations !!!!

    First of all: Detroit is a great city and treated this asswipe the way that they found necessary – by “Booing” the shit out of him.

    Second: Chicago does treat entertainers from all forms of entertainment like ‘stars’, because we appreciate the hard-work and dedication to their performances and their careers (tell me that over the years – Chicago has not been the hotbed for great Church shows, you always comment about them on your blog). But , we here in the windy city have a difficult time realizing who/what is a star.

    Third:People think this ass is a genius, but maybe the ‘management’ around him thinks so. “Yeah, Charlie…look you just got kicked off the #1 show on the telly, your caught boozing, doping, and always in the ‘not-so-fine’ company of women who will give you countless diseases that all that alcohol couldn’t kill off, so…Charlie…wake up ‘tiger-blood-my-ass’ , We are gonna book ya on a 20+ city tour, sell stupid fucking merchandise, you can do anything you want on stage, wack off if you like, and we are gonna make fucking millions…brilliant eh…?” ” Ok…Win-Win…I guess”. “NO” replies his oh so brilliant manager… I said to use the fuckin phrase : ‘Winning,Duh’. “Now, put on some fucking close that match, take a shower-a breath mint would do nice, and get ready for OUR huge press release, America will eat this shit up !!!!! THE VIOLENT TORPEDO OF TRUTH TOUR !!! (feel free to edit in the words: stupid, fucking, shit, and baby-man-penis…any where in the above title as you deem necessary)

    Fourth: Sadly, we are.

    Fifth: So my point is, the compass never ever actually points ‘south’. Just get visible publicly, rant like a lunatic and prepare to put on a one man show that will make you a fortune…

    Please, no one include that is what Steve did in the past, solo wise. He didn’t have the correct ‘manager’ at the time, otherwise he would have been brilliant. Imagine all the ‘Really; whacked out stuff Steve could think up and print on a T-shirt, he would’ve marketed himself ten times the man that fuckknuckle “Charlie” is…

    Moral of is the story… (oh hell, is there one???)

    Chose your idols wisely, or you will be the ass 10 years from now wearing a over-washed out black T-shirt that … reads… “No Certaintities, My Ass” and on the back of the shirt would be an arrow pointing down to …your overgrown ass !!!

    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      Cocoamo | 5 April 2011 at 12:40 pm #

      How about “Torpedo of Turds Tour”?

  5. avatar
    aida morgan | 5 April 2011 at 4:29 am #

    Yes, it IS ok. In the end, most things are. Steve, I really like the self-portrait photos you post with each poem. They’re quite ethereal.

  6. avatar | 5 April 2011 at 4:57 am #

    Wondering if you really are pagan, but definately not stupid. That would explain all those pale naked women……And I only wish I could experience one filthy rotten rich night….naked or not; would be fun just once! Your dreams keep your creativity flowing; they sound as rich as your songs.

  7. avatar
    davem | 5 April 2011 at 7:32 am #

    I’m so sad that I can’t be there.
    It was comforting to read that you’re working hard on getting the band to Europe in the next year or two.

  8. avatar
    Tracey | 5 April 2011 at 8:53 am #

    funny, i was discussing schadenfreude and weltschmerz just the other day with my german born colleague. seems i was feeling both at the same time….couldnt figure out why you added it to your post today sk (am i missing something obvious?)

    • avatar
      Narelle | 6 April 2011 at 4:10 am #

      not missing a thing
      but what was very obvious, the word schadenfruede was used by some ‘wise guy’/’you’re too smart for this world, grease your arse and slip into the next’ type of Editor, during an interview with Steve (The Church website)
      but seriously…he could have used sadomasochism

  9. avatar
    Narelle | 5 April 2011 at 9:05 am #

    very thoughful words…again
    I agree, but harder to master…never go back…just the ones you value sideways

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 5 April 2011 at 4:24 pm #

      Hey Narelle-
      Thanks for the advice the other day, That was very appreciated. To be honest, I have tried everything imaginable, but knowing that there is a community out here that cares about total strangers makes life’s daily struggles a bit easier to live with. But I am concerned, so many regulars from over the past months, years actually, have slipped into the cracks of something (EGM ???). And to be honest, I miss the wise words of many compassionate people and hope all is well with them.

      Darrin K.

      • avatar
        Narelle | 5 April 2011 at 10:29 pm #

        Thanks Darrin but I really, honestly acknowledge a golden rule whereby, ‘never give advice unless asked’…also an expert on breaking rules…
        just love reading the thoughts of others…post Steves amazing poetry
        its in all of us…at different degrees/stages, of ‘the game’ of course…love it all!!
        take care
        PS did you win that lottery…are you Sydney bound??

        • avatar
          BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 April 2011 at 1:28 pm #

          Sadly no…but I plan on an out of body experience to materialize 30 minutes prior to showtime. But, hopefully, I will remember the chant correctly this time because the last time I did this. I ended up at a Depeche Mode concert naked, no one seemed to mind – but it was really friggin cold.

          A warmer ‘n’ wiser,
          Darrin K.

  10. avatar
    . | 5 April 2011 at 10:16 am #

    that’s good stuff steve
    i really appreciate the illustrations of our extremes

  11. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 5 April 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    you budhead, me beavis 🙂

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 5 April 2011 at 4:26 pm #

      Still waiting on an email from you to catch me up to speed of the goings on in ‘Jonny’s World’. Hope all is okay with you.


  12. avatar
    hellbound heart | 5 April 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    rain, rain, rain……got it here too……
    love always……

  13. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 6 April 2011 at 1:18 pm #

    You are most definitely right. Its like passing a car crash. Everyone slows down to take a look, for concern…curiosity…And than speeds off. Seconds or minutes later, if asked, they wouldn’t be able to remember the colors of the autos or how many were involved. They only recall…the event.

    Darrin K.

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