posted on January 12, 2011 at 12:05 am

fallen into shadow

theres a war going on said the psychologist it was at the sun cafe a war ? i wondered…. between men n women he said surrealism i live it like a fish lives in ether it was already twenty eleven the traffic oozed past we were rehearsing p=a all my songs are coming true i knew how to play a simple instrument i knew how to chuck together mysterious words i was a collector of beautiful things living things almost nobody knew the real me but some did all my songs are coming true an uncivil war between the sexys its all too much for your poor little head she became her own song the song became her a mere child at a time tiny baby so naive i cant believe what you believe yeah wow how prescient ooh whats going on i yawn rather would have been wrong look here it is exactly the song is a mirror 20 years too late i sussed can i smell vodka…? you punctured my tyres you crossed all my wires i brand your acolytes as a pack of liars and the fire singing everywhere i yawn everybody ultraviolates ya in their own special way as unique as fingerprints or the green flashes in a retina the opposition has its terms and agenda the gentle gender sooner or later they give ya an ambush no i’m still sitting at the sun cafe the psychologist munches on his bruschetta he laughs man its fucking murder out there six string bass and opium where am i ? who turned out my lights im gulliver but not that gulliver universe runs out of space sheba into delilah atom into dust on some different level a new opening on some other phase on some other older page the enemy trojans n whores deiophobus baby he was some cat tried to have his helen earth by the scamander river in some summertime the living was easy christ look at us all juggling our opportunities the endless suitors will never string my bow mistress next mistress chaos next chaos who wrote these words and for whom well i dont have much time theres so much left to take its hard to know whats genuine and whats a genuine fake but wait theres more what about this i think theres something weird going on something unforeseen the best impression of a succubus i have ever seen have you seen succubi steve says the psychologist the sun cafe gets busier n busier i have this shake made out of some exotic fruit last nights kisses have faded from my lips my anger scorched my feelings a procession of women and songs the women vanish into futures i have forgotten them sometimes the song remains as an echo the songs are not about you and me only honey though whatever that is presently escapes me never disregard the ambiguity of the word you you singular you plural we have known you and me  by the thousands i cannot bear to share you we cant be alone babys whos writing this stuff? insert your own pronouns here its mine its yours its every fucking bodies funny how eventually opposites become alike naturally alikes become opposite isnt that some genius who said that? i wasnt born yesterday but i was reborn last night you (plural) must think i (singular) a few songs short of a cd i mean cmon appropriate this i didnt wanna come here nowi dont wanna go is there some string attached to this as if you would tell me so everything is endlessly applicable everything must go amoral for this tale? i will continue to drift then i had one hundred babys and some hated me i had one hundred babys and some didnt care i had one hundred babys and some of em loved me so much it burnt us both funny how the end result is always the same though moonlight n fighting with the night its a rip off he asks you did you like my show as if he really wants to know he is me right you is you wrong in my reverie # 4321 i am standing on some stage dressed up in my tux singing strangers in the night the syrupy words curdle in my hard ass brain i spat out some of an old french poets bile at the sun cafe is some lady done up in a folkloristic get up she reads my tarot confirming all my worst suspicions there is much you do not know all your songs are coming true she says in her egypsy accent ride the rollercoaster for all that its worth live it all up to the hilt if you cant take it with you away from this earth might as well take it full tilt you thought you were white lightnin’ when you stole my thunder yes you yes you yes you yes you n you n you why cant i feel it is it just a lie we all get our next convenient rationale alls fair in love and war and well just about anything really in nebuchanezzars parking zone calls out my lord your end is nigh i didnt mean to make you cry there are gashes in my side project there are gushes of praise gnashing of teeth crashing of systems it all ends up in the same place lose something else you didnt realise you had find something out here again dont stare shadows in the smoke whispering everywhere beware an old flame is still smouldering there still umm……

39 Responses to “scenes from an alchemical marriage”

  1. avatar
    Ron Bonham | 12 January 2011 at 12:23 am #

    A part of me will never be free and the part that’s free will never be me.

    That was the line that really got me hook on yer special SK brew. Man, it taste so good going down but sometimes it comes back to bite you. Cold cold cold so cold in my room this morning. Cannot imagine just how cold it will be in a months time in NYC…?

    rB

    • avatar
      Cocoamo | 12 January 2011 at 7:31 am #

      You forgot “after everything, now this happens. I never thought we would sever the ties”, didn’t you?

      This blog reminds me of the stream of words from the computer, Hal, as he was phasing out in the movie 2001. Reboot reboot.

      Your Friend in Pennsylvania
      Now in Cocoa Beach

  2. avatar
    MICHAEL J FRIM | 12 January 2011 at 2:18 am #

    All those songs came true for me. Back when I was dating the women I thought I was in love with. The record still resonates with me. Hard core. buckle like a wreck on the cold green sea. Pure genius and always will be. Please take it easy Stevie. MJ FRIMO

  3. avatar
    Cecilia | 12 January 2011 at 2:52 am #

    mistress next mistress chaos next chaos who wrote these words and for whom

    amante siguiente amante caos siguiente caos quien esccribió estas palabras y para quíen fueron escritas?

    Ok, SK? Hell is no punk chew A chin.

  4. avatar
    Lara | 12 January 2011 at 3:11 am #

    Wow. A few songs short of a CD? haha. Short forms pack the biggest punch.

  5. avatar
    Brian Ison | 12 January 2011 at 3:34 am #

    A trip through lyrics n life
    life n lyrics become one

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 January 2011 at 4:18 am #

    perhaps looney, but this made me think of my aunt and grandmother… and monopoly. Everyone else – all the adults and kids had left the table, but the two of them would sit with me into the wee hours of the morning – sometimes into the next day… the three of us, in wonder of each other’s energy(ies) – that a game could go on so long and we were so equal and we were so enthralled that we were not even thinking of who would win the game in its end – it didn’t matter; just that they were so happy being there, still playing. The two of them, they were really really beautiful people. I was very young and in lower grade school – but daddy couldn’t make me go to bed because it was his sister and his mother who aided and abetted our board games.

  7. avatar
    bc | 12 January 2011 at 4:32 am #

    great songs are like gold

  8. avatar
    Freddie | 12 January 2011 at 4:43 am #

    Wow, I feel a bit in shadow too after that but P=A has always been rather shadowy.
    Thats part of the reason we love it so much!
    Unfortunately, this wall of words formed made it harder follow your groovy trip.
    I’m stoked about the tour and I’m having a stern talk with Old Man Winter about this weather thing
    but he blames it on Mother Nature and neither one of them is making any promises :^/

  9. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen | 12 January 2011 at 5:51 am #

    I agree with Ron. The line “A part of me will never be free / And the part that’s free will never be me” is probably the greatest line on an album replete with evocative lyrics. Always found “Everything is going wrong / All my songs are coming true” to be quite spellbinding, too.

  10. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 12 January 2011 at 7:21 am #

    Darrin,

    How did you get reserved seats? My tickets say general admission and from the seating chart diagram it did not look like there were any special seats or sections. First time to the venue from Detroit so any advice on what time to get there for good seats etc would be appreciated. I have sat front row at the Magic Bad here in Detroit for the last 4 shows and would love to do the same for this show of all shows.

    Thanks,

    Jason

    Oh and Steve dinner is on the wife and if you can get some front row seats. Just say the word.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 12 January 2011 at 4:30 pm #

      Hi Jason,
      The Park West has leather booths that are up off the dance floor area. If you go on their website you can see them. Once the tix went on sale, I contacted the box office and reserved a boot (the booth seats 4-5 people and a waitress tends to the booth area quite nicely in fact). The box office will give you the next “best” available booth , if there is any left. They require a credit card to hold the booth and when you arrive at the show, doors open at 7:00pm, you just go to the Box office and sign off on the booth. They charge you anywhere between $25-$35 for the booth. My days of standing on a hard floor have come and gone years ago due to severe cervical/lumbar disabilities and degeneration. So sitting comfortably and enjoying the greatest band on earth from a mere 20-25 feet away with a perfect view and at the perfect place for the sound quality, is worth every penny. My booth is dead center off the floor and will be occupied by myself, my son, Ben (StealthBlue on this blog community) and his adoring wife. Ben will attest that they are the best seats in the venue, but to be honest with, the place is elegant, quaint, and an incredible atmosphere, and very very clean and NO BAD SEATS-every where is great. This will be ‘the church’s’ 3rd show at the Park West, the last two being acoustic (2006 and 2009). Also, there is a FANASTIC fondue cafe a couple hundred feet west on the same side of the street called: Geija Cafe, a bit pricey but well worth it when you incluede a great concert for the evening. As the show nears, wow…its just a month away, we can converse more and find each other, Ben has suggested a great place to eat just across the street and a few doors down, that is lighter on the pocket book. So, I hope this helped, stay in touch, and talk to you soon. I think, Steve liked the place. In 2006, he came outside and hung out with my wife and I, and also Ben and his bride very late in the evening after the show. In April of 2010, Peter-Tim-Marty and Tiare came out after most everyone left and was gracious to spend time with us (pix-autographs and stuff). That’s when Marty was asked by Me about a possible P=A tour thru the states, and he smiled and winked at me, or winked at my wife…Marty, like the rest of the guys, are charming blokes.

      AsAlways,
      Darrin K.

  11. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 12 January 2011 at 7:32 am #

    Darrin,

    How did you get reserved seats? My tickets say general admission and from the seating chart diagram it did not look like there were any special seats or sections. First time to the venue from Detroit so any advice on what time to get there for good seats etc would be appreciated. I have sat front row at the Magic Bad here in Detroit for the last 4 shows and would love to do the same for this show of all shows.

    Thanks,

    Jason

    Oh and Steve dinner is on the wife and I if you can get us some front row seats. Just say the word.

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

  12. avatar
    hellbound heart | 12 January 2011 at 8:46 am #

    flood of words
    love always

  13. avatar
    cymbal | 12 January 2011 at 10:33 am #

    homebound, man, i couldn’t go anywhere today
    south frozen and distant with snow and freezing rain
    offspring sick with the flu, i feel the pain
    anxiety nagging at me, mental sore on my brain
    the time being speaketh a new world, thanks again
    film spinning at thirty three, a nice ending for a chaotic day

  14. avatar
    Once | 12 January 2011 at 11:41 am #

    Oddly enough, I didn’t used to spend much time looking up and reading Church lyrics. I always did with other bands, so I wonder why that is. Because I understood them just listening to the records? Partly, but there’s always some ya miss (the “scuse me while I kiss this guy” phenomenon), so that’s not all of it. Because the absolute magic of the song was perfect, and I didn’t really “need” to? Satisfying, to be sure, but it’s rather unlike me to not want to grasp the literal aspect (or at least try to – you can never really be in someone else’s head, and I trust that I wouldn’t want to be…the mystery is the joy). So, why?

    It’s because, much like not looking up the chords and trying to play the tune (except the rare D-A-G ones that are easy), I sensed that the lyrics would be beyond me. And, back in “those days”, they were.

    Imagine my immense joy and wonder now…and how inspiring it is to me as a kinda-writer. The way that you write, SK…I just can’t (ironically) find the words to describe it. Just saying it’s “great”, “with feeling”, “soulful”, doesn’t quite get there. There’s something else that I just can’t put my finger on…I will, tho.

    I think that the perfection actually scared me…is that possible? You would think that I would have loved to through myself headlong into that kinda buzz (did with everything else, in “those days”), but THAT, that was weirdly off-limits.

    Or maybe I was simply too busy drooling over Marty and trying to work out how to play a Rickenbacker (I ended up selling all 3 of ’em, just have my acoustic now, those guitars were REALLY beyond me, don’t have the gene, I guess).

    Now that I know what I’m meant to do (IwritethereforeIam), I hungrily approach each and every word, and sometimes get dizzy reading them.

    I just can’t put my finger on it. I will, tho…thank you kind sir, as always.

    😉

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 12 January 2011 at 3:03 pm #

      i really loved this comment
      thats why i never wanted the lyrics on the cover
      theyre meant to be felt
      not read
      sk

      • avatar
        Once | 12 January 2011 at 4:24 pm #

        😉

      • avatar
        Andreas | 12 January 2011 at 5:00 pm #

        hi, speaking about songs lyrics, not being a native english speaker it is always hard for me to grasp them a first listen so I am very grateful to sites (especially as Mike F) where I can get them right. One of my mistakes I remember most fondly is in Ripple, “You’re a human sacrifice to the goddess of ice” which I always understood as the “goddess of vice”, which I thought was beautiful in the context of the song, but turned out to be wrong. Or perhaps is it not entirely wrong? in the sense that as SK says, lyrics are meant to be felt, not read… so for me it will always be the goddess of vice…

        Love,
        Andreas
        Genoa/Italy

        PS another very good line is “strike when the irony is hot” !!!

        • avatar
          thetimebeing | 12 January 2011 at 7:36 pm #

          it is goddess of vice
          it is goddess of ice
          its both at once
          you can do that in a song

  15. avatar
    Once | 12 January 2011 at 11:49 am #

    ** Throw, not through
    ** Where did that smiley face come from???
    ** I’m kinda glad I’m older now. Life is better.

  16. avatar
    Karen | 12 January 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    “its all too much for your poor little head”

    about covers it , found that hard to read

    & im not that intelligent , maybe Im slightly more aware than doreen who smokes winnie blues and plays the pokies at the local rsl .. slightly

    any way nice legs

  17. avatar
    Once | 12 January 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    C-C-C-cucumber
    C-C-C-Cabbage
    C-C-C-cauliflower
    Men on Mars
    April showers

    Silent salute to the 80’s…

  18. avatar
    Once | 12 January 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    And one nite, i went out
    And I met Ian Muculloch!
    Yeah – at St. Andrew’s, mate!
    It was fuckin’ great, trust!
    He was wearin’ a sweater –
    No, really!!!
    Leanin’ against the bar, yeah?
    Like life was dependin’ on it!

    It wasn’t.

  19. avatar
    jaime r.. | 12 January 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    Deep in the bright belly of the blind whale.. Its so hard to hold anything let alone the lustre of an afterimage.. these songs encircle me.. prophecy?.. I remember that form follows function.. I smile in the mirror.. smiling at the spectre’s shadows.. the dawn doesnt wake me..

  20. avatar
    Lyndall | 12 January 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    Can I have some of what you’re on? Loved every word. Lx

  21. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 12 January 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    SK-
    That was an excellent read today, anything that involves P=A holds my attention, I can friggin recite the whole album from listening to it almost every day since release, and I swear on my children for that matter, they have been raised with your songbook filling the vastness of our home, never making it feel cold or empty. And I will always be thankful for that.

    On another note, TO ALL : I have had major computer problems and a serious virus named ‘white smoke translator’ infected my computer, wiping out my entire operating system…I lost everything, luckily no hard drive functionality loss. All my pictures, music, photos of concerts, pictures of my paintings, poetry, novel I have been working on , and sadly…the pictures of my children. THIS virus attacks PC’s, it disguises itself as a ‘windows update’ , it is a rogue virus meant to attack and destroy like a weed. It, infects and than choses a day in the future that it will, eventually, wipe your operating system clean. It caused, what computer techs refer to as, THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. Which means, a light blue screen appears as you start up your computer, it appears and disappears in less than a blink of an eye. So…please..everyone…back-up all your files and pictures and if you have any problems-take it to a company that can help you. When all this was done, it cost me $150 bucks to restore an operating system and a lifetime of memories that are now gone forever, and Steve was my screen saver from a picture I took of him in the summer of 2009, on stage at the Chicago House Of Blues.

    Darrin K.

  22. avatar
    captain mission | 12 January 2011 at 5:34 pm #

    some thoughts…

    years ago when you reached out in the blog, seeking your audience, revealing yourself you started writing about your craft…. one of the things that i was totally captivated by was your metaphor that songs are spells.
    i’d never heard a musician speak of such things before.
    i think this is the quality in your work that draws people to it, it’s impossible to describe in language becuase language is a map, not the territory.

    i’ve never thought of the church as a rock and roll band, more of a shamanic energy that crosses space and time, which in a tribal essense is what music originates from.

    a wizard, a warlock, a magickian, a mystic, a shaman and visionaries all have a responsibility that is also a burden due to the duality of reality. but that duality is maya ityself.

    in the film ‘the last tempatation of christ’ i was struck by the final scenes where christ is on the cross and satan offers him a life married to mary, with children, and that elusive cacoon of domesticity and those wonderful simple pleasures.
    any man would desire this but jesus rejects it.
    i am not sure if i could resist such a temptation and it seems an elusive proposition for me, but i think maybe there’s reasons for everything and time will reveal them.

    trust your processes.

    ‘all my spells are coming true.’

  23. avatar
    Ingrid | 12 January 2011 at 6:39 pm #

    It’s amazing how you can immerse yourself in an album. P=A is one of those albums that still sounds as fresh as the first time you heard it but also equally there is a timelessness about it. It doesn’t age. The lyrics in this album do stick in your head and I particularly love “it may not be eden or summer in greece you may not even find the golden fleece…”

    I love a lot of music, however have never been so mesmerised or spellbound by the lyrics and music of this band and their writer as I am. The magic of it, is something you can’t put your finger on yet, it feels as if it is something you have always known.

  24. avatar
    jason a jianuzzi | 12 January 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    “An infant with the voice of the crone
    in nebuchanezzars parking zone”

    i was thinking about this line today.

    Like Moses by the seaside in 1974 listening to the music of a skyscraper carnivore.

    -elglynnis

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 January 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    I hope you are playing the lead on Film…it should be epic

  26. avatar
    Donna | 13 January 2011 at 2:05 am #

    People come and go, but the songs remain and echo. So true. I like what “Once” and “Captain Mission” wrote about the whole experience of listening to your music, and music in general. It IS like being spellbound. To this day, I am under a spell when I hear UTMW. This morning my 9 year old was playing Jingle Bells on the piano, and sure enough I’m transported back to the 70’s and Joni Mitchell’s The River. Had no idea what the words meant, but I was under it’s spell. Such interesting lyrics in P=A. Lots of bile from old french poets, for sure!! Where else can you read about succubi?

    I know you’re feeling down today. I hope someone or something comes along to lift your spirits.

  27. avatar
    Violette | 13 January 2011 at 3:22 am #

    Good onya for deleting that last post, SK.
    I read it with a mixture of dismay, empathy, prurient interest, vicarious indignation. But in the end, it was none of my business. TMI, as they say. What’s yours is yours and what came out in the process of letting off steam isn’t mine to share. It could only be hurtful. Good decision.

    Yours,

    V.

  28. avatar
    Once | 13 January 2011 at 10:55 am #

    I didn’t have the priviledge of reading the mysterious deleted post…I saw the title (on Facebook? Somewhere?) and was otherwise distracted (by what? I don’t remember; work maybe?), and planned to go back to it…but then it was gone.

    I trust that if it was deleted by its creator, there was a good reason for it. So I won’t ask for the verbatim.

    Writing is cathartic. Part of the reason I do it. It’s always first and foremost for the writer him/herself (or should be, anyway); it’s a mysterious expose of the mind’s surface, and sometimes deeper; a “come with me” sort of thing that takes your imaginary hand and connects you with someone else.

    But at the end of the day, it really is personal, and a personal choice to publish or not. Hope that whatever it was, was good at the time.

  29. avatar
    Violette | 13 January 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    It was certainly heartfelt, but again, some things are better left unread.

    I understand what you’re saying, Once. Yes, it always starts with oneself as one’s own best audience. But I guess over time, a communicator maybe writes to connect, and a writer writes to satisfy one’s own sense of inner beauty? I know I’m more of a communicator than a writer in this sense. I write to connect, not to catharsise. Not any more. Or maybe I do… but the two are so completely blended at this point as to be indistinguishable. I no longer keep a diary; the things that used to bubble up and need expression have left me in peace. Now it’s a social exercice. Hello, how do you do, how would you react if I said the following thing: ?

    I’m always conscious of my audience and I no longer write just for myself. And I sometimes stop myself from publishing things that I should keep to myself. Maybe not often enough… one never knows.

    But I understand where that post came from, and I understand why it had to go. In one way, I suppose I’m priviledged to have read it, but again, where do you draw the line between the artist’s privacy and his desire to be known, even in his darker details? I (and others) possibly know more about the artist than I care to, for various reasons, or that he cares to, for that matter. This peek into his mind and life was hugely interesting, but at what cost?

    Yes, at the end of the day, it’s a personal choice, and I can only repeat, good onya, artist, for having the wisdom to take it back.

  30. avatar
    Violette | 13 January 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    OK, that was probably just a self-involved piece of… writing more than it was communication.

    Or was it?

    • avatar
      Once | 14 January 2011 at 10:22 am #

      Not at all! Salient point, and well made!

      ” but the two are so completely blended at this point as to be indistinguishable”

      Love that!

  31. avatar
    sarah | 13 January 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    i love every single part of this. i would like to hear you read it. It has a nice beat and flow. the words are completely over the top. i get it. i love it. every part. i think your use of a muse is more like dipping into a psychic field where words and thought streams flow from various places and you either grab it or let it continue to flow. or maybe you just know how to fuck god alittle harder then most. i don’t know. but its definitely orgasmic and juicy whatever it is you do to get these rhythms and rhymes. its a sweet gift coming and going. thank-you.

  32. avatar
    click | 24 May 2012 at 11:21 pm #

    You should really control the commentary at this website


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