posted on October 17, 2008 at 7:50 pm

if you really love your time being
if yer a dyed in the wool killer lover
if you think yer humble hero is the bees knees
and you hate reading about my disappointments
then you should stop reading now

most of you still reading
i guess yer curiosity is stronger than yer love for ttb then
i wake up today with 4 extra gurls all giggling n carrying on
the doodles had a sleep over
and we had jasmine sophie magda n coco joining us
the woofle wasnt asleep until after midnight
being completely wound up on cakey and older kids
when i got ‘ome from me gig
nks sittin’ there talking the woofle down like shes had a bad trip
the woofle is stretched out twitchin’ n sweatin’
her bodys packed it in
but her eyes still glance round the room furtively
shes so wound up
does she even recognize or say anything to her olde weary daddy?
eventually she fades away into a mega sleep….thank god
but the other kids going all night long
giggling singing
hissing whispering
talking moving about
even now i keep begging em to be quiet
but they not listening
eve n aurora fomenting revolt
beyond all this gurlie malarkey
rehearsed in the morning
an ad hoc band getting together to play for sculptures by the sea
featuring moi on 12 n vox
brendan gallagher on vox n electric six
bernie hayes on vox n electric six
jonny z on bass (one of best there is)
pete odoherty on ac 6 n vox
dec o doherty (petes son) on drums
we rehearsed in a tres cool underground studio in alexandria
part of an ex-mexican style villa like you might see in la
in fact with the weather n everything
i felt very much on this particular corner
that i was in la
i drive there with brendan who lives in my street
oh that window isnt working he says pointing to mine
uh ok i say
and uh the a/c aint working neither says bg
but we’ll have the other windows down he assures me
cos its a warmish day
until bg gets a call about some music hes working on
and all the windows go up and i stifle n suffocate
in the oxygenless atmosphere of this silly saab
the studio is great
we have a great rehearsal
each singer ll do 3 or 4 each
the songs are a mixture of covers n our own
walk a mile in my shoes by joe south
bernie sings that
pete sings nilssons me n my arrow
i did randwick bells n walk on the wild side
anyway the gig was inside the walls of the bondi pavillion
it was a perfect clear warm night with cool breezes
there was free grog n much slapping of backs
we get on stage
(after a few too many “steve kilbey” jokes
by smartass compere simon from the abc
if he continues sunday
the killer will retaliate
friends or no friends)
(sample: we got some top rate musos up next AND steve kilbey)
anyhow we do 1st song
providence as usual i guess
lovely rambling rollicking version
i get in the mood
out here under the stars
apparently i’m not coming thru that good with the p.a.
but i’m blissfully ignorant
put me all into it
everyone playing great
we finish
wait for it
did fucking one person in the crowd
other than amanda brown n my mate nelg clap?
did they fuck!!
like a fighter taking a hammering too early on
i’m just lost the wind right outta my sails
(and sales too i guess)
no nothing from the crowd
who are actually starting to leave
the other guys sing some songs
they get meagre applause
but at least something
my turn comes back
we do randwick bells (its in the eastern subs)
a nice aching version
i try to try again
we finish
fuck em
i keep mah head down
i play the rest of the night in a blur
strumming along
halfway thru the nite
my guitar goes from inaudible to unbearable in the foldback
i say i dont wanna play milky way to others in band
they kinda agree until this bint jumps up n asks for it
primed by host smart alecs little impersonation of me singin’ it…
so the band all suddenly going
we gotta play it
i reluctantly n with a heavy heart
and with not one ounce of sincerity or feeling
with my eyes closed n my pulse racing
with my cheeks blushing
and a terrible anger somewhere inside
i try to sing
my fuckin’ mike aint even working
fuck it! i say to the others
i dont wanna play it
but they n audience kinda demand it
it would be real churlish to not do it now
bernie gives me his mike
wow he could hear himself n everything…!
and i do it
in a cold fugue
i bark out the stupid fuckin’ words
that make these wankers happy
they all deleriously waltz about
suddenly ‘aving such a good time
wish i knew what you were looking for they all sing
mercifully it ends
even then they clap briefly n…its over
i pack up and a few people come up
to say that utmw is blah blah blah
as if i really look like i care at this stage
as just a weird extra stupid thing
a lady who quite frankly
i woulda thought was a very tough lesbian
with short black hair n blokes clothes
was following me about
as i tried to pack up my malfunctioning gear
saying things like
youre god
and looking at me and seeing a vision of some golden apollo
instead of a cranky old disappointed bastard in his mid fifties
who was tired of casting his uncultured pearls
before these particular swine…
to make matters worse
she was kinda mumbling her deifying praises
causing me to have to ask several times what it was
or just suffer her abject adoration as she muttered
like a nun saying her rosary
no there was nothing wrong with that i guess
nor am i ridiculing this lady at all
except everything considering it was just the limit
my friend nelg drifted away with that sad look in his eyes
that “killer yer wasting yer talent here” look
finally gotta lift home with jonny z
and came in to find the woofle
all dressed up with nowhere to go
but i got paid already
am i lucky
i cant decide

the band again playing between 10 am n noon
tamarama beach sydney on sunday
or on abc radio nationwide

36 Responses to “sculpture party blues”

  1. avatar
    John | 17 October 2008 at 9:24 pm #


    It sounds like you are lucky on the things that really matter (i.e. family and friends).

    The older I get the more I realize there are a lot of stupid people in the world. It seems like lately you have been cornering the market with them at your shows.


  2. avatar
    restaurant mark | 17 October 2008 at 9:33 pm #

    sorry man…
    do some yoga…clear your racing mind.

    love ya and take care

  3. avatar
    brevinda | 17 October 2008 at 9:39 pm #

    Hey Steve,
    Chin up mate….(can u believe as I am typing this, UTMW has just appeared on RAGE…freaky or WHAT!!!!…r u channelling me Steve???)…anyway mate, if it's any consolation, the highlight of my day is getting home from work everyday and cranking up PAINKILLER to 11 while busting a few yoga shapes and putting the madness of the day, this world, behind me…Steve if I lived anywhere near Sydney, I would bust my gut to watch you perform anywhere, anytime…Sydney don't deserve you mate…can't WAIT to see you in Melby on 23rd DEC.
    Love & peace
    PS…are you playing @ Vegan fair this year…I truly hope so.

  4. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 17 October 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    I’m an hour away from leaving to see KD Lang live at the 2000 seat Chicago Theatre. It’s very evident that the concert’s not even close to being sold out. Ten years ago I saw the Kinks play in front of 2000 people in a fifteen thousand seat venue.

    Talent has nothing to do with popularity especially in reference to the world of music (Kiss, Rap,)

    New York City power pop icon Richard X Heyman plays shows in peoples’ living rooms.

    For years I’ve been a was.

  5. avatar
    davem | 17 October 2008 at 10:41 pm #

    Fuck ’em.
    You ARE the bees knees.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 October 2008 at 10:44 pm #

    I’ll try and get to Tama tomorrow, old chap. I’m trying to rise above it at the moment as well….maybe seeing you will help.

    I ain’t gonna give you any advice cause I know you hate it. I’m just gonna agree with you and go.


  7. avatar
    Richard | 17 October 2008 at 11:13 pm #

    fuck em!

    Was wearing my Painkiller shirt last night and my daughter (the one who prefers to think that you sing ‘just like the chocolate they sell ya’ in overview) pointed out that your signature at the bottom looks quite like Walt Disney’s. Better be careful, they’ve got no sense of humour when it comes to trademarks!

  8. avatar
    fantasticandy | 17 October 2008 at 11:18 pm #

    strange days…..

  9. avatar
    captain mission | 17 October 2008 at 11:20 pm #

    i think its your incredible honesty and willingness to present your disappointments via blog that actually makes you twice the bees knees than if you didn’t, then you’d just be the bees knees, but off course once you are the bees knees you can’t really be double the bees knees anyways. besides being the bees knees these days is a pretty interesting metaphor as bees are vanishing mysteriously and without bees we are all doomed such is their importance in the ecological network of our planet.
    anyways ….
    its depressing and i should have heeded the warning in the introduction of todays blog.

  10. avatar
    veleska1970 | 17 October 2008 at 11:23 pm #

    davem nailed it. fuck ’em all.

    lotza love…..

  11. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 17 October 2008 at 11:31 pm #

    why do you get to go nationwide, i should be abc nev nationwide…

  12. avatar
    lily was here | 17 October 2008 at 11:37 pm #

    In small print on the invite were the words 'morons'? 🙂 apart from the lovely Amanda, your friend Nelg and your lady fan. Sydney's like that it seems. Glamarama on Sunday hey? hmmm..hope you can be there B.Bon.

    Sorry steve, i did scroll down tho because we're with you through thick & thin, rain, hail & shine and what's misery without friends to share it with? Fuck'em, they dont deserve you. Dont let that Simon jerk get to you. Hope I get to hear you on the radio singing Walk on the Wild Side!
    Much love to you, today's a better nite. xOxOx

  13. avatar
    princey | 17 October 2008 at 11:45 pm #

    Not to worry sk, it’ll all make sense at the Painkiller gig on the 22nd where the people with real “heart’n’soul(‘n’good taste!)” will be. Have a buzzzzzing good night tonight!
    love Amanda

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 October 2008 at 11:50 pm #

    Hey Steve!

    For what it’s worth, i absolutely LOVE Painkiller…- Up the Killer!!

    I’d love to hit the gush button and do a synopsis on the album right now but i’m busy at work (with Painkiller playing on repeat all week in the background!)…”Song for the masking” on right now – oooohh it’s good. (such a complete album – my first listen was in bed with headphones – i just had to smile at the very end of the last song after the whale song bit when the warm rain kicked in – just beautiful…)

    I think you’ve had your dose of crappy gigs for now – i guess it must be pretty hard going after the dithery heights of the Painkiller launch.

    Anyway, today is a new day – onwards and upwards to the next gig! 🙂


    Jon from Geelong.

  15. avatar
    kat | 18 October 2008 at 12:47 am #


    @#$% it all. once again, you probably wanted to pull a kurt cobain at one point during the gig (utmw/sound quality) and slam someone upside the head with your bass. lol

    my brother says thats why he is not much interested in playing out. they have lots of originals. he likes a few covers but does NOT want to play old time rock and roll, by bob s. anymore. utmw is 100 times better than that song, but my point is that alot of us appreciate the obscure, and unfortunately more want to hear the same old.

    i'm sorry but your description of the lady calling you god made me laugh out loud.

    i feel like i am trying to run a farm over here. i am watching my neighbors animals. the cat wants in, shadow the dog wants out, i can't get the garage door to shut, & meanwhile my dog puffer is howling next door. how do you all manage kids? one good note is that the same neighbor works for a brewing company so every time i go over i take a beer. lol

    happy weekend fiends.

  16. avatar
    melissa | 18 October 2008 at 1:39 am #

    that's fucked … it makes me mad to read about this because I would love to be at these gigs (as I'm sure everyone else here would be) .. people are just rude & stupid on the whole 🙁

    Wishing you much better luck for next time .. don't let it get you down!

  17. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 18 October 2008 at 1:42 am #

    goddam it, you are a divinity and i love your music and those ignorant disinterested individuals are just fucking knobs….
    playing between 10 am and noon…BUGGER…is there some website or something i can log onto because i missed the whole show, didn’t know it was going to be on (so typical of me, always miss the bus…crap)….
    love always….

  18. avatar
    fipster | 18 October 2008 at 2:33 am #

    How’s your fig?

  19. avatar
    ross b | 18 October 2008 at 2:46 am #

    I hope Manly goes well for you tonight Steve, my advice is just to enjoy it and make it fun, like a holiday gig. Up until not so long ago (well, turn of 20th century) people would ferry off to Manly for their holidays! (and newly-weds for their honeymoons:-0

    I’m sure it’ll be a much cruiser, cosier venue than the Annandale on a transient Tuesday night, it’ll be great! Go get ’em Killa!!

  20. avatar
    markobears | 18 October 2008 at 3:58 am #

    Sorry to hear that. Playing for a bunch of zombies must suck but at least someone called you God my lord.

  21. avatar
    Cita | 18 October 2008 at 5:02 am #

    Detachment…your wisdom on that topic stays with me everyday especially when I have moments where I feel my creativity is being undervalued. Detach and spin in your own magical universe…only good can come from that.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 October 2008 at 6:02 am #

    No offense steve but if that is your worst day at work you have it made. I work in a factory and a good friend of mine lost a finger in a machine press last week. Now that is a bad day at work. A good day at work is laboring in 110 degree heat all day for very little money which I do daily. Stiff upper lip ol chap, be grateful for everything life has given you. One of the fortunate ones. Enjoy your view of bondi beach and hug your daughters and wife and quit complaining.
    Percey Ledbetter (a big fan..really)

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 October 2008 at 6:45 am #

    Keep swimming and strumming my friend…every stroke/strum gets you a bit farther.


  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 October 2008 at 6:59 am #

    We love to hear all your stories .

    Dutch Pierre

  25. avatar
    the dean | 18 October 2008 at 7:14 am #

    this simon fellow is just a bloody wanker. If I heard him making jokes at your expense I’d be up him for the rent.

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 October 2008 at 7:20 am #

    have a fantastic gig tonight SK!:D x

  27. avatar
    eek | 18 October 2008 at 8:22 am #

    Aw, that sucks, Steve. I hope tonight’s gig is fantastic. I don’t really think you’re really cut out to do music for parties (although we all do what we have to sometimes), because you don’t think of music as mere background noise, and that is how most party goers treat it. Music is special to you, but to so many people it isn’t — and I think that’s an affront to your whole being. That works well in the service of your art, but it makes it difficult on you when you have to do jobs you’d rather not to make ends meet.

    Re: the girls slumber party — oh my, you are a glutton for punishment! NK must have the patience of a saint to deal with all the chaos. And considering how much “gurlie malarkey” you have to put up with, you do remarkably well too.

    As for reading the whole blog — I’m not just a fair weather fan, so yeah, I’m going to read it all.

  28. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 18 October 2008 at 8:34 am #

    you know what guys? i’m a dillberry, i really am…
    if i’d have read steve’s blog properly in the first place, i would have noticed that the broadcast concert is tomorrow, not today….how blond is that, and i’m a brunette…
    is the broadcast on abc radio as in triple j or just ordinary abc radio….
    peace and love….

  29. avatar
    lily was here | 18 October 2008 at 8:52 am #

    Hellbound, I wasnt gonna say anything 🙂 Guessing it’ll be on ABC Radio National live streaming on Artworks 10am maybe?
    ps So true eek, parties are just not a good gig at the best of times.

    Spirit in Flame ia gorgeous … “all this, all this”. Had it on repeat today.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 October 2008 at 9:12 am #

    Steve you’re wasting your time a lot lately. I don’t understand why the writer and performer of the ‘best Australian song of the last 20 years’ is doing the type of gigs you’re doing. Surely you can risk getting a ‘proper’ manager and sorting your current situation out?

  31. avatar
    fantasticandy | 18 October 2008 at 12:17 pm #

    you nailed it!
    music as art?
    an alien concept to many.
    it’s tough being truly great…..

    hey, kat…i wish i had a neighbor like yours!

    HH…’ere give over…i’m a blonde!

    everyone….hope yer all having a nice weekend,
    andy L.

  32. avatar
    matthew | 18 October 2008 at 1:08 pm #

    Oh crap, sounds like a horrible gig. I can’t believe that dickhead from the ABC saying those ignorant things either, how crass. I’d gladly be there Sunday if I could at all… I’ll try to tune in anyway… cheer up Steve.

  33. avatar
    kat | 18 October 2008 at 2:25 pm #


    don't be so sure about the neighbor thing. its too early for beer (although??? lol) but the last time the garage door lifted & i went inside letting shadow out, (he had shredded some newspaper during the nite- i hope it wasn't anything important) there was this horrible sound coming from some mechanism in there. wtf was that? ha

    sk, it is true you are lucky that you don't work in a factory. they treat my brother like crap at work and he doesn't get compensated enough for welding. it is an art, however, getting slivers of metal in your eye isn't too fun. he hangs in there because he has been there so long and he is SUPPOSED to be retiring soon. unless they take that away and i can see them doing that.

    ok so am i too late to tune in to the abc thing? its 10:20 a.m. here

  34. avatar
    m.p.k | 18 October 2008 at 6:17 pm #

    SK, remember that there are many unseen presences all over the universe listening in to one of the galaxies greatest musicians. The rabble aren’t the main audience.

  35. avatar
    JJ | 18 October 2008 at 10:30 pm #


    That was a bittersweet reading, hard for me to believe the audience reaction,and I can imagine how you felt packing up and coming home. I don’t understand it. I remember you playing Providence solo at the Knitting Factory in NYC with your 12-string….so poignant and beautiful, so moving.

    Take heart, we love ya, man. House full o’ girls giggling it up all night – I’ve been there.

    Going into the back catalogue on blogs, sorry I’ve been absent…..stressful times here for me, and problems with my son.

    Happy Birthday to the Woofle.


  36. avatar
    lily was here | 19 October 2008 at 12:24 am #

    Giving up in frustration, cant get radio national or radio 702, or anything to work.

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