posted on March 12, 2006 at 6:44 am

its sunday arvo
i look around
i am sitting at a table
at a computer
next to me a young asian woman
hammers the keys like a virtuoso
ahead of me
an italian looking family drink coffee
and discuss the stuff
italian looking families discuss
in places like this
outside the huge windows at the side
a blue indoor swimming pool stretches away
the ripples running up and down it
outside that
a rooftop deck
wooden floor white umbrellas
folks guzzlin’ cocktails
tanned and fit looking upwardly mobile
30 something wasp metrosexual yuppie elite scum
waita doggone mexican minute
this aint even sydney
i go check out the skyline
city and river
that should give ya a clue
why am i here
bound to silence
sworn to secrecy
what does this mean
i retire to green patch
adjacent hotel
i smoke a half a family size spliff
i smuggled my own p and p mix
selected for moistness
and passport to smoking pleasure
i come back to computer

this next bit is to everyone
in and out of my life
i know you know i know
whats going on
yeah its a little game
you do know why im here
i know why im here
i am bound and constrained
to leave you in the dark
big deal my druids and priestesses
you think i’s gonna be impressed
with this load of olde malarkey
yeah yeah
as wide eyed and naive as i am
in most things,
this carry on leaves me
i’d rather be home painting music
its full of fucking “straights”
petit bore jwah
upperclass toffs
old guys wandering around in bathrobes
just my scene
we begin nicenearly
doing whatever it is
frankly i have no idea
itll be a load of old bollocks fer sure
i’ll keep my eyes peeled
for an exciting behind the scenes
look at the “straight” whirld
like lifting up a big rock in a garden
you can see all kinds of strange creatures
scurrying round in their natural habby tat
well im seeing it
its as dull as i always thought
its ….
aw shucks
you know what it is
and the room aint nuthin special either
its stuffed full of stuff
they want ya to use
then charge ya triple the price
the room has a cold empty feeling
i loathe it
i walked in and i was instantly lonely
who designed this room
ive been in bus shelters that had
more fucking coziness
this feng shui nitemare
in white and chrome
i overlook a bleak vista
its 35 degrees here
but my room feels like a mausoleum
cold sterile dustless air
window permanently shut
who likes fresh air anyway
i wanna be cooped up in this cell
a complete hospitality failure
i bet the pool water is tepid
and full of wee wee
i aint fuckein’ swimmin in there
after my sea pool at home
so ya see
luxury is a luxury
i can ill afford
but im gonna do my yoga tonite
in that adjacent gardeny block
one blade of grass means more
(to me)
than this entire establishment
and its ritual and ceremony
madonna comes on the pa
completing the entire picture of phoniness
cmon now sk
get off this subject

i dont think i can

more reports soon
i promise

keep ya mouth shut
you know i love ya!!
in disguise

20 Responses to “send in the crowns”

  1. avatar
    mike a | 12 March 2006 at 7:38 am #

    sounds like you’re in a prison cell – better days ahead sk!!

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 8:59 am #

    I Have been in the same state so many times (with a little “assistance”)

    Your mind ebbs and flows. Your insights are more than a little mystical. I wonder if you are a bit like St Francis – so naturally close to God – but then again you have a bit of a mean streak, loath bitterly at times. You have set imaginations on fire with your honest pourings.


  3. avatar
    eek | 12 March 2006 at 9:06 am #

    I was just thinking about you amongst all of, well, “them.” And I couldn’t help but laugh!

    I’m sure we’d all love to hear all your observations over the next few days. Today’s was great. 🙂

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 9:07 am #

    …wish I knew what you were lookin’ for, might have known what you would find…

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 9:43 am #

    In the heart of all that razz amatazz will be our BOHO.
    We will all be proud.
    Someone must have some taste because there would have been other more obvious and dull contenders.
    Please enjoy yourself!
    Life is but a dream.
    Good Evening World!!!!!!

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 10:41 am #

    Lower the Curtain down in Me_born_

    Can’t wait


  7. avatar
    Barnaby-Tresington-Howl-Foxworth | 12 March 2006 at 10:57 am #

    Dear Mr Kilbey

    Welcome to Melb%*$ne, I trust your accommodation is more than adequate and that you enjoy you stay.
    We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your particapation in the matter, of which we of course can not discuss.
    We also would like to remind you that all participants that take part in the matter that we cannot discuss, will be subject to random drug tests for any performance enhancing substances.

    Yours sincerely


    I would like to take this opportunity to point out that my name also contains more hyphens than that of Mr Marty Willson-Piper

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 11:32 am #

    Oh well, look at this tiny little gig as a rehearsal for the up coming cd launch.

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 1:58 pm #

    Dear Steve – the thing about the pool is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read! Thanks for picking up my day 🙂

  10. avatar
    baby | 12 March 2006 at 1:59 pm #

    it is goode to read you.
    i have missed you as of late.
    bought my new/old spanish house in san francisco.
    finally found the internet again.
    and found beautiful people in strange spaces.
    stay outta the poole, king kilbey. i knowe it is full o bleach.

  11. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 12 March 2006 at 4:20 pm #

    What could be so secret that you wouldn’t want to share with your long lost pal of old, Mr. Feathers.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 5:43 pm #

    dear sk (incognito)
    your secrets
    are safe with me
    i won’t breath a
    word of it
    thanks for
    its very cool
    of you
    ps. sssshhhhh

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 March 2006 at 5:56 pm #

    do nae let the arrows find the chinks in yer armor

    be calm,do yer yoga

    wish i was there smokin the spliffy wif ya

    wif sand in my sandals

    its cold here in so-cal

    even a bit a snow yesterday

    take care arch-duck kilbey

    be seeing you


  14. avatar
    Johnny.j | 12 March 2006 at 6:08 pm #

    “Luxury is a luxury I can ill afford.” What a great, resonant line.

  15. avatar
    the dean | 12 March 2006 at 10:00 pm #

    Y da fuk r u doin dis gig? da communist games, fa fuk sache!

  16. avatar
    public savant | 12 March 2006 at 11:57 pm #

    Well I’m sick of being lumped with all the other anonymesses in this comments forum. Despite having “outed” myself as a public servant at the bottom of almost every remark i’ve made, increasingly I feel the shared ignominy of the despised hordes who dare not speak their names (or occupations).

    So now I’ve got a nifty handle. Like all the other mugs (and no small number of teapots, i’ll warrant).

    But what’s the good of it? I looked forward to the proprietorial smugness that appeared to come with that matisse-blue hyperlink but now i just feel empty.

    Still. At least i can make further uncharitable remarks about MWP and the MM at the Northcote Social Club with a reassuring veneer of accountability. Speaking of which, I hold MWP personally responsible for my poor showing in the HSC: each morning before school back in 1988 i’d watch the video clip for She’s King at least three times so that by the time i arrived at “high” school shrouded in the sweet smell of hash i’d completely retreated behind (m)arty bangs from where i occasionally issued flamboyantly abstracted utterances. And yes, those rain-swept suburban streets into which i was regularly cast did seem very Amsterdam while my contemporaries were dry and warm inside swotting their ways towards fancy 4WDs and aggressive asian market investment portfolios.

    And leaving misguided comments at this deserted altar is the closest this bunny’ll ever get to Backstage. Backstage, that mythical land the details of which i’ve had to piece together from the wide-eyed accounts of explorers more brave than i. My perennial Church-buddy has no qualms about “crossing over”, the items on which he seeks your emblazonment getting more and more improbable by the gig. i recently refused transport for the fender he proposed to have you write upon. for christ’s sake, next it’ll be an entire wall section from the original tin-shed in the unguarded moment video clip, purchased on e-bay…

    Would you go, or would you ever have gone, Backstage to meet Mr Bowie?

    i suppose i did get some inadvertent Backstage action recently when i almost collided with PK as he emerged from the swanky melbourne arts centre latrine. He was emitting total calm and had about him the sapience of a man who has pissed in a hundred thousand urinals across the planet yet still finds the time to note the changing hemispherical orientation of the swirling flush. Now there’s a guy who’d know what to do with a bidet, i thought to meself.

    fuck i cannot believe i am looking forward to the telecast of an opening ceremony of anything…

  17. avatar
    sue cee | 13 March 2006 at 1:03 am #

    sk – just close your eyes and enjoy the view – it’ll soon be all over

  18. avatar
    Otto Von Worm | 13 March 2006 at 1:46 am #

    May you do your country proud. We will be thinking of you, hope you packed a KH t-shirt for the coverage.

  19. avatar
    me | 13 March 2006 at 2:46 am #

    i love that subject
    noone cares to admit to it and
    everyone thinks they can sniff it out a mile off
    and yet
    we all use it in varying degrees
    to protect others
    to protect us
    to appear more interesting
    it’s a hard act to keep up though
    uses loads of energy

    but against my higher self
    i sit here somedays
    and tell you
    what I love about you
    in anonymity (or pseudonym)
    amongst a host of other anons
    how fucking phony is that
    the truth
    is it?

    you reveal so much
    of your truth always
    God it’s sexy


  20. avatar
    tim | 13 March 2006 at 9:40 pm #

    Your description of me and my job makes me want to kill myself…, but not until after I’ve heard ULTC.

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