posted on December 26, 2007 at 2:44 am

north bondi
the family sways like a caravan
laden with towels and snorkels and buckets and hats
the white aromatic flowers
the honeysuckle
roses red and cream
lavender
purple berries
the variation in the leaves
the zephyrs amongst the foliage
the quiet of boxing day
the suburbs by the sea dream deep and green
the houses and their lovely gardens
only a few cars on the roads
the weather is perfect
25 degrees
a cobalt blue sky with unusual clouds
a thousand types of trees
red brick houses
mod apts with all cons 3 bed 2 bath
flats old and white
we arrive at beach
the water is full of tiny beautiful weeds suspended
the water is cool and refreshing
it is clean and energizing
i bodysurf the gentle hills of water and weeds
the sun illuminates the glassy bulbs and stems
gold glints in the sand underwater
the people are all happy
tourists from all over the world
big ones
sunburnt ones
beautiful men
hideous women
beautiful women
hideous men
fat kids
skinny old blokes
italian executives with their families
bondi locals with ferocious tans
rubbersuited surfers with cottonwool blond hair
the japanese surfers hair goes orange
young lovers
gays with adonis physiques
indians and africans
swedes and danes and all the rest
all on bondi getting slowly irradiated
under our ozone-depleted sky
yeah gonna be some sore customers tonite-y
scarlet in pink bodysuit with zip
the water makes her scream with delight
to her it is a permanent wonder
a man sells sno-cones in twenty supa-arty-fishal flay-voors
the kids indulge and hit hyperactivity in zero to a hundred in five secs
yeah yeah i know its bad for em
but i had that gloop as a kid and theres nothing wronga with me
as you can all tell by my omnipotence
anyhow the seaside was all you might hope
in this festering festive season
nice vibes
a great assortment of people to goggle at
some excruciating g-string things happning tho
no bloke can wear em
they look terrible on any man be he straight or otherwise
jesus they look bad on everyone really
whats the point?
why not just have a bare bum?
strangely enough
as the cheeks come out
the bosoms are disappearing
bondi in 80s was breast feeders pair o’ dice
i mean swing low sweet chariot and busty substances
funny how the sun and sea de-eroticizes it all tho
its hard to believe for some of my male friends in the u.s.
where bare breasts on beach
is of terrorist threat-like proportions
now that is seriously fucked up
why are a pair of boozies a dangerous thing?
beats me
i thought they were for feeding our children with…?
but im a hippy i guess
anyway i never feel good about seeing some euro pale bint
frying her bluetits in the sun
so im quite happy if they all stay inside
at least in max radiation hours 10am to 4pm
i think its lovely that everyone can swim down there tho
and no one gets laughed at or would feel embarrassed
tho i saw a woman today
a very big woman from england
with a tiny little husband or boyfriend
egging her on
as they frolicked together in the surf
lewdly feeling each other up and snorting
her bikini at least five sizes too small in some places
and five sizes too big in others
this massive woman had no backside to speak of
it was a flat plane
and her cozzie hung off revealing all
from which i couldnt drag my eyes
like watching a house burn down
or an accident scene
it seems half the beach was witnessing these shenanigans
but they performed their courtship rituals oblivious
to the curious humans on the shore
as this giantess left the ocean
her tragedy of a bathing suit hanging this way and that
her tiny white puny man followed behind
and in his eyes
i saw
the gaze of a man in love
and people
their love
made me
feel so
happy
yes it did!

18 Responses to “serf music”

  1. avatar
    Altres | 26 December 2007 at 4:20 am #

    We all got drunk and sang Singstar. 4am just in. Had to carry the children home.

    Brian

  2. avatar
    Being Jenn | 26 December 2007 at 4:27 am #

    Oh yes, that conjured up so many memories for me.
    when is the Nude surfing comp?
    That was a hoot last time I went to Bondi.So many lil shrivelies!
    Brrrrrr the water musta been cold that day.
    Happy family new year Steve.
    and to all the TTB voyeurs as well.

  3. avatar
    andmoreagain | 26 December 2007 at 5:02 am #

    Sounds like a man after my own heart.

  4. avatar
    linjo | 26 December 2007 at 6:19 am #

    That was so funny today!
    I love people watching at the beach (and listening in on their conversations!!)

  5. avatar
    veleska1970 | 26 December 2007 at 6:28 am #

    “a man sells sno-cones in twenty supa-arty-fishal flay-voors
    the kids indulge and hit hyperactivity in zero to a hundred in five secs
    yeah yeah i know its bad for em
    but i had that gloop as a kid and theres nothing wronga with me”
    there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a cold snowcone on a hot summer’s day. that’s one of the best things of summertime, (and childhood) anyway. 🙂

    you’re making me miss the beach. **sigh** looks like i’m looooong overdue for a weekend getaway.

    “and in his eyes
    i saw
    the gaze of a man in love
    and people
    their love
    made me
    feel so
    happy
    yes it did!”
    awwww….a love story played out on the beach. how tweet.

    have a good afternoon, steve.

    lotza love….

  6. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 26 December 2007 at 8:06 am #

    If only I was in love.

    But I’m just…single…

  7. avatar
    Melby Symon | 26 December 2007 at 8:08 am #

    I saw Bondi on the nightly news yesserday…all those peoples wearing Santa hats made it look tacky.

    I love the line about “watching a house burn down or an accident scene”. Those moments are gold.

    Anyhoo…sounds like yer having fun with the family, which is only right and just after your time away from home recently.

    I was thinking today about your “yesterdays man” line.

    It’s an absolute fucking shameful disgrace that the media and showbiz industry and “popular” culture of this country has failed to recognise the continued brilliance of yourself and the Church.

    All fiendss could think of dozens and dozens of Church songs that should have been “successful”..but which were squeezed out by musical garbage.

    Someone..somewhere..somehow has gotta sit up and take notice of what you guys continue to do.

    Here endth the rant.

  8. avatar
    lily was here | 26 December 2007 at 8:41 am #

    “the family sways like a caravan” HA! God I laughed. Steve, you have such a playful eye.

    That gaze of love, wow, the kind that makes you go weak at the knees, now THAT is something to live & die for.
    xxx

    For the SK trainspotters The Triffids: A Secret in the Shape of a Song

  9. avatar
    davem | 26 December 2007 at 9:07 am #

    I can’t quite get my head around Christmas on the beach! Plus I’m scared of sharkies.
    Thanks for the link Sue.
    dd

  10. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 26 December 2007 at 10:36 am #

    Now I’m anxious that I’ll end up looking like that beloved blimp on the beach – my lover keeps giving me chocolate and so do my kids! This is one of my weaknesses, it must be a sin but it’s soooooooo gooooooood……… Don’t fall in love Thomas Thomasen it makes you fat!!! But maybe buying some chocolate for a potential partner might help??
    Re Melby Simon’s point re ‘yesterday’s man’: I don’t believe that The Church & or Killa are interested in main stream popularity and all of the soulless marketing & packaging which comes with it, However, for what it’s worth & in my humble view, in order for them to continue to enrich our & other’s lives & spirits with their beautiful and powerfully evocative psychedelic music, strategic management and planning must be employed. I was married to an artist & it’s known that generally pure artists are crap at selling themselves for mainly two reasons: 1.They are always anxious at selling themselves short of their integrity & 2. Because their energy & talent is spent on creating and not marketing (as it should be). Killa & The Church in my humble view should just continue to create, create, create, play, play & play – sewing seeds and the reaping in the harvest should naturally follow. Some good PR strategies like; induction into the ARIAs, Film/ TV scores & soundtracks, benefit concerts for philosophies and causes they personally value, appearing at live venues in larger cites around the world ( in Aus like Melb & Sydney) , teaming up with high calibre international artists like- Sinead O’Connor (I think she is high calibre) (She’s coming to perform at the Pt Nepean Festival here on the Mornington Peninsula Victoria in March), and some international artists of the same ilk – I’m sure Brien C could take over from here…………

    (Oh what the hell would I know? I’m just a beach-bum Chocoholic from down under – somebody come & take away this chocolate ‘cos I’m off to eat more…………)

  11. avatar
    nickfiction | 26 December 2007 at 12:05 pm #

    Sounds lovely …here it’s dreadfully cold and icy. As if Cleveland couldnt become a little more hopeless…..

  12. avatar
    fantasticandy | 26 December 2007 at 2:27 pm #

    oh…the ethereal one is so right!
    creation is one thing….marketing?
    the church and SK are ‘niche’ artists.
    but i reckon….it could still be a pretty big niche.
    i played ‘grind’ to a guy xmas eve.
    he told me: ‘that was one of the best songs i have ever heard’.
    ‘who did you say it was?’
    ‘can i go into a record shop and buy their albums?’
    errrr…..you can try.
    oh well.

    on a lighter note steve,
    your observation about the ‘big’girl and her little chappie made me very happy too!
    bless you guv’nor,
    love to all,
    andy L.

  13. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 26 December 2007 at 4:35 pm #

    Thank you Sue (Lily). I checked-out
    The Triffids yesterday. The tragic, young death of their lead vocalist. They almost hit the big time with the New Musical Express. The latter is a rag hence it’s read by countless thousands of “intellectually challenged” music fans-people like me. Recently, they wrongfully accused Morrissey for being a full-blown racist. As usaul Andy’s mind is adroit. When I play songs like “Grind”, “Ripple”, “Numbers”, “Easy”, “Sealine” and “Dead Man’s Dream” to my pertinent friends and relatives they are invariably impressed. Yesterday the Chicago Sun-Times had a photo of tourists taking pictures of topless girls at one of Sk’s local beaches. The girls flaunted their breasts.? I’m a strident advocate of The Church accepting the Aria Award. But they must be allowed to play a song of their choice with UTMW. “The Unguarded Moment” is nice but it does not exemplify the Church’s haunting, dreamy and ethereal style. Yes they are at times haunting but for the most part they are dreamy and ethereal.

  14. avatar
    Melby Symon | 26 December 2007 at 10:32 pm #

    Yes fantasticandy….niche is an excellent description and Yes Ethereal Butterfly..you may well be right that Steve and the Church don’t necessarily crave “popular” mainstream success, however there are many alternative artists that have been well recognised and rewarded for what they do and how they do it.

    I like you ideas about targeted PR…anything that would help SK and the Church continue to play and create and achieve their own version of success could only be a positive outcome I would say.

  15. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 26 December 2007 at 11:00 pm #

    so glad you feel love, I feel no love what so ever…
    Hollywood

  16. avatar
    matt davison | 26 December 2007 at 11:32 pm #

    all that other chat above is good..

    But SK!! why wernt you and NK challenging them in the surf to catch that love moment aswell….

  17. avatar
    steve kilbey | 26 December 2007 at 11:57 pm #

    KIDS!

  18. avatar
    eek | 27 December 2007 at 5:34 am #

    why are a pair of boozies a dangerous thing?

    A pair a bit on the large side, combined with gravity and age, can indeed be quite the weapon. Trust me. 😉

    It’s wonderful how witnessing other people’s obvious joy and love can brighten one’s day. Reading your observations made me smile.


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