posted on June 12, 2006 at 4:28 pm

masks of humanity
the tall and the handsome
the legless and lonely
old alcoholic women curse n spit
models stride by, oblivious in their frozen contempt
children urchins spoilt brats orphans
angry businessmen screaming down the line
crooked liars
saintly mages
hungry ghosts on my back
sucking up my addictions
gamblers roll the dice
farmers watch the sky
soldiers keeping peace
hindus n jains
islam n jews
blacks n whites
boys n girls
doctors cut deep
nurses mop up
drivers swerve
the fortune tellers gaze into my palm
the stargazers blind in the light
all these parts i will have played
half angel
half beast
half human
3 quarters of my life evaporated somewhere
years melt
i wake up worried
some bad omen
some intrusion from a thousand years of living
god , coy, elusive, seemingly random
people come n go
seasons in flux
storms dislodge memory
i write songs
i procreate children
i meet n greet
i argue
i pacify
to him im a fool
to him im another fool
a brave coward
a stupid wiseman
everyone looking for something
im nervous when i travel
anna miranda my eldest
mercurial kind jumpy pretty funny
she leaves me a note
“sweet daddy, here are my keys….”
elektra june my second eldest
a swedish helen of troy
beautiful arrogant sharp scornful unconcerned
aurora justine my 3rd child
and closest to me
old soul, brown eyes, haunted every nite by her nascent gift
she says the darndest things…shes so wise beyond her years
evie starr, her non identical twin
tough, resourceful, self centred, a natural artist n athlete
baby scarlet virginia
just a chubby ball of potential…
good natured, cheerful, but bad tempered if ignored
this is my life
this is my diary
this is me
a bundle of contradictions n paradoxes
my mum reads my blogge
she hates it when i swear
my dad watches over me from heaven
patiently waiting for me to arrive
“hey slim, watch yerself” he laughs
my dad who i nicked all my jokes n gags off
thirty years since we last spoke
wendy (a white witch)
says i have the purple aura of a healer
but i chose the electric bass instead
at this incredibly late stage of the game
i choose to drop the masks
theyve done me no good
i actually learn to sing
i actually try to listen to people
peoples sorrow destroys me
it goes straight to my heart and i cry
i have ripped the veneers away
now
im cut open like a fruit
feeling the pain n joy of being a human
i been procrastinating this my whole life
i thought smack would protect me
i thought women could shield me
i thought jumping up on a stage
and making a huge racket would render me impervious
i thought fame would make me lovable
i thought rocknroll had all the answers
i thought bad things only happened to others
i thought everything would be so easy
i thought i could get away with blue murder
and still be red hot
i laughed at the fools
i spat on the down n outs
i scornfully threw a pittance to beggars
i sponsored kids in brazil n india
till i ran outta money that i needed for drugs
i ran with the best n the worst
i ripped and was ripped off
i did bad deals with greasy pigs who robbed me blind
i had bad luck with cars
i lost everything i owned
until i realised it wasnt anything at all
i scrambled up a ladder
i slithered down a snake
i made enemies thick n fast
with my cruel tongue and my piercing eyes
i helped some
i hindered others
i lost people i loved
i found others and i loved them too
i married my wife
who was calm n patient n gave me everything
i started over
here there n everywhere
i read books
i watched pornography
i mainlined speedballs
i took ketamine and floated a million miles above my body
i drank booze n slurred n swayed
i went in studios
with songs without songs
i produced n engineered n mixed
i got good n bad reviews
jealous little cunts tried to cut me down
slobbering syncophants elevated me to geniushood
i resisted change
i made mistakes
i toured the world round n round n round
i did things most people only dream of
i did things most people would revile
i stooped low
pawned my guitars
i got rolled
i got laid n waylaid n paid n underwhelmed
i detoxed n retoxed
changed my sox n my mind
i was all things to all people
i was a nothing
a washed up prodigy
a naive old man
a rude boy
i took the wrong road round
yeah
thats my story
nothing special
i took up swimming n yoga n chi gong
i learnt another language
i learnt to be a father
a little farther down the track
i did stupid dangerous things that involved the ones i loved
i was nice to scumbags n never complained
when i wanted to score
i cursed god
i prayed to god
i search for god
i lose god
i search again
i read the chronicles of narnia to myself n my kids
i idolised marc bolan till my mother thought i was gay
i dyed my hair
i had fancy clothes
i was skinny as a rake
and porky as a pig
i was a teenage zombie
falling asleep to diamond dogs
on top of a stack of playboys
i read the gita
i read the koran
i read the bible
i read trainspotting n the fucking da vinci code
i did push ups
sit ups
put downs
i put you all on
i crashed on peoples couches
i stayed in 5 star hotels n stole the towels n ashtrays
i huddled in caravans smoking rohypnols
i drove a honda prelude that got stuck in second gear
i had a mistress
i had a master
i taught songwriting to people who couldnt write a song
to save their lives
i wrote bad poetry
i wrote good poetry
i pissed off people in the bizz
and theyll never forgive me
i got gold records
i got amalgam teeth
i got earrings n bad hearing
i got grey hairs n wrinkles
i got more energy than most of you could dream of or stand
im sk
thanks for reading my story

46 Responses to “she used to call me sweet daddy when i was just a child you know you kinda remind me of her when you laugh”

  1. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 12 June 2006 at 5:46 pm #

    Steve,
    Your story is amazing. You are raw, without masks here. Free. What a gift for us. Thank you and thank your mum and dad and God for bringing you to your family, friends, fiends and fans. The good, the bad, the ugly. What a treasure to wake up and read this.
    Be well.
    love,
    denise
    xxoo

  2. avatar
    subcultureofone | 12 June 2006 at 5:54 pm #

    “thanks for reading my story”

    you’re welcome

  3. avatar
    John Garratt | 12 June 2006 at 6:02 pm #

    Can’t wait for the movie.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 June 2006 at 6:39 pm #

    Beautiful stuff you’ve written. We all have different lives and experiences, and it’s a good thing to consider when trying to understand one another.

    It’s a lot easier to appreicate where you’re coming from when it’s this kind of thing, and not you attacking and insulting people like me whose different experiences lead them to different conclusions on some issues.

    ‘Perdido’

  5. avatar
    davem | 12 June 2006 at 7:05 pm #

    SK,
    Nothing special??
    I mean, wow.
    Despite all that you’ve been through (& even put others through)those of us that have loved you & followed you for decades or even for just a short time……… we’re so proud of you & where you are now.
    Love you more

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 June 2006 at 7:39 pm #

    SK,
    Thank you for this blogg/diary; it’s fantastic. You have the gift, you have the chance to heal a million rifts. we all struggle to drop our own masks in life and you are doing it here. thank you for the inspiration. I anxiously read and enjoy your writings each day. The painting of words you rendered of the swedish lake was like a beautiful scene in some bergman film. this is a great novel.. like your music, it helps take me to another place. you just might be a genius after all

    Abid

  7. avatar
    12str | 12 June 2006 at 7:51 pm #

    life….
    dont you ever stop sharing..

    chanting..
    writing..
    playing…

    thanks!

    patrik

  8. avatar
    juniper | 12 June 2006 at 7:53 pm #

    What a beautiful family you must have….that’s brilliant!

  9. avatar
    slacker0000 | 12 June 2006 at 8:02 pm #

    hi steve – really good and interesting blog – i hadn’t heard anything about you for ages and am enjoying reading what you have to say now – i hope you keep going with it for a long while yet.

  10. avatar
    RA | 12 June 2006 at 8:08 pm #

    It’s hard not to read you daily..

    Peace,

    RA

  11. avatar
    eek | 12 June 2006 at 8:35 pm #

    Thanks for writing your story.

  12. avatar
    verdelay | 12 June 2006 at 8:35 pm #

    a nutcase in a nutshell

  13. avatar
    jeff | 12 June 2006 at 8:42 pm #

    we are the sum of our experiences, are we not? wouldn’t you rather that sum be greater than zero?

    thanks for the transparency, sk, it’s a joy to read a human life.

  14. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 12 June 2006 at 9:13 pm #

    thanks for reading my life story, my tribute to ALL of YOU…
    mjnjr

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 June 2006 at 10:16 pm #

    Introduction to the biog…?
    Keep it, si me gusta!
    Cecilia
    x

  16. avatar
    Phedra | 12 June 2006 at 10:53 pm #

    how can you tell where you should wander until it’s over and even then…?

    sarah.

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 June 2006 at 11:25 pm #

    SK,

    It will be interesting to see how you top that blogg tomorrow,

    That blog needs to be converted to a song or better still a double album, nah i’ll wait for the book or even the movie with the long tittle.!

    Cheers
    DR

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 June 2006 at 11:38 pm #

    i love how you can pour it all out
    put it all on the line
    you’re one of the good ones sk!!!!!

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 June 2006 at 11:52 pm #

    When is the bio due to be released in Oz?

    We’ll find out what’s between these lines of yours…..sounds riveting!

    B.Bon

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 12:15 am #

    MMMMM- sounds asif yer leavin’—- SAY IT AIN”T SO JOE!!!!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 12:19 am #

    i’ve found much of your music vibrating with healing energy
    thank you
    xxx

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 12:21 am #

    Steven,

    I’ve been listening to your records this evening.Thinking about the person I was back then when I heard those “stupid lyrics on the Blurred Crusade.” You’ve made such a difference in my life.
    You’re a member of my family.

    with love,
    Milan

  23. avatar
    veleska1970 | 13 June 2006 at 1:14 am #

    after being such a devoted fan of yours for more than 20 years, it’s so wonderful to finally get to know you, even though we’ve never met and may not ever. thanks for just being you, steve!! lots of love…….

  24. avatar
    Mark | 13 June 2006 at 1:22 am #

    Steve, I am now seriously addicted to your blog, this is the first place I visit each day….Your honesty and sincerity is just drawing me in….I hope this ain’t the end.
    Mark Moldre

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 2:56 am #

    amen! keep sharing that energy, i have more money to spend

  26. avatar
    Farmboy | 13 June 2006 at 3:27 am #

    SK: Enjoying reading your blog more and more; the world’s no dump, but thanks for prettying the place up, sweetheart. Many happy returns.
    See you in Orleans.

    Farmboy

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 3:51 am #

    sk
    once again
    i have to say
    thank you for
    sharing your words
    and yourself
    it’s a true privilege
    to read your blog

    with love
    diane
    xo

  28. avatar
    Noel Christian | 13 June 2006 at 5:16 am #

    Steve, I think you’ll enjoy this:

    http://leb.net/gibran/

  29. avatar
    the dean | 13 June 2006 at 5:28 am #

    that was quite a blog.
    sounds almost like your last blog and testmony.
    you are coming back arn’t you?

    brett dean

  30. avatar
    fergal | 13 June 2006 at 5:41 am #

    brilliant, sk!
    and i do believe that u also embraced the machine, went thru the routine & hid from the people who were trying to find u.

    u’ve been busy!
    ~

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 6:12 am #

    Dear sk,

    Another riveting blog today. Loved the one about the countryside, your words make you feel the moment, be at peace and transported to another place and time.

    Took note when you advised people to get the Jack Frost cd. Took a bit of work to find one, couldn’t get it in Sydney but was lucky to find it in the USA. Love it. You two guys were given such a gift with your words and music, have made a lot of people very happy.

    I’m very lucky to have such a good friend as Diane. Had a bad week and she surprised me with a present, a Church dvd, was instantly happy again, brings back a lot of memories. Hope you make a dvd of the European tour.

    Have a safe trip back to Oz.

    Love
    Therese

    Dear Steve,

    There’s a lotta love in the bloghouse of late. See the effect you have on people?

    You gotta miiind of your own and you use it well – yeah, you’re one of a kind.

    Love Diane (Syd)

    P.S. Love Jack Frost album. S.K. & G.M. – a marriage made in heaven.

  32. avatar
    isolde | 13 June 2006 at 7:55 am #

    also sk you could say this…

    i was honest
    i looked at myself
    i had courage
    i broke down the wall of pretence
    i earnt respect
    i was loved for my self
    i found my true voice
    and
    i helped many hundreds of others to think and care and find their true voices and speak for themselves about the things that matter …

  33. avatar
    captainmission | 13 June 2006 at 8:48 am #

    wow steve, welcome to whereever you are its beautiful.

  34. avatar
    mallory | 13 June 2006 at 8:59 am #

    thank you for sharing. Thanks for the music and the mind. Hope you don’t scare your Mum too much.

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 10:03 am #

    !!!!!! Go the Soccoroos !!!!!!

    …and btw SK… cool blogg, keep it coming…

  36. avatar
    sweed | 13 June 2006 at 10:13 am #

    Once again thanx for a beautyblogg.

    Sköt om dig…

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 10:35 am #

    That touched my heart sk. You’ve been up and down so many times, thankfully you’ve come out of it and still here to tell the tale.

    I just listened to “the glazier”, I LOVED it, it’s so eerie and dark, sent a nice chill down my spine.

    Love,
    Amanda P

  38. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 13 June 2006 at 11:18 am #

    don’t forget
    ka-razz-ma
    you charismatic dude
    and a million other traits
    i could, with worth, employee
    for me, you did one more thing
    you made it all seem possible
    thanks and love
    tp

  39. avatar
    Daberhasher | 13 June 2006 at 11:53 am #

    floating down or sinking up,
    i and we have enjoyed your trip…
    nice genes, genie…

    was it really 2:28 A.M.???
    was the son in your eyes……

    all love
    no slobber
    ee

  40. avatar
    (('{~_~}')) | 13 June 2006 at 2:05 pm #

    Wow Steve! Reading your words meant more to me than you can ever know! It has been very hard to put my thoughts to writing of late. I recently came out of hospital after having a 10cm tumor removed from my pelvic area. When I woke up after the surgery, I was told I had a very rare type of cancer known as gist, which affects one in every two hundred thousand people. I have since asked myself many times, why me?

    One of the surgeons told me it looked like I had a brain in my pelvis. I had two surgeons, a bowel surgeon and a gynecological surgeon, as they didn’t know what was wrong with me until they cut me open. As it turned out I needed both!

    My entire world is so different now. I have two girls aged 7 and 4. I am trying to be positive. Chemo and radiation do not work well with gist. There are tablets that apparently do work well. I will find out more at my first appointment with my oncologist. I am also trying to heal my own body using natural medicine. I’m going organic, whole-food, filtering my tap water, taking anti-cancer vitamins and herbs. It’s weird, I only recently started reading your blogg (after Grant died), and now all that stuff that you are into, meditation, vegan food, I’m adopting in order to try to be around longer for my girls. Oh I so want to grow old!

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 June 2006 at 2:08 pm #

    Best blog entry so far in my book … now that’s laying it on the line blog style.

    Well done … safe travels home.

    KLK

  42. avatar
    Samosanx | 13 June 2006 at 10:50 pm #

    Wow – I didn’t read yesterday and look what happened!
    Killer, you fucking Rock!

    Don’t be pissing of on us now, couldnae take it.

    Love Kitty

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 June 2006 at 1:18 am #

    you’re a beautiful man stevie

  44. avatar
    stealthblue | 14 June 2006 at 2:56 am #

    I just read this one this one! Once again….Bravo, that was groovy.
    I already spilled my guts for you today on my other “anonymous” post, that’s it…
    Have a great night…sleepy, sleepy.
    BV

  45. avatar
    m. | 14 June 2006 at 10:01 am #

    Steve -Until today I’ve been a passive reader.

    …each day I increasingly find myself being drawn back here.

    But today, today moved me, convinced me, inspired me to respond.

    I finally do believe/agree/understand what you say – that you are only now really hitting your stride.

    I too have lived a gifted life in many countries with almost as much superficial achievment.

    But todays entry made it clear for me, that clarity for me may still lay ahead.

    Thankyou, your catharsis is my sign post.

    M.

  46. avatar
    buzby | 16 June 2006 at 2:43 am #

    wait.. you have 5 kids!?!?!?


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