posted on December 19, 2005 at 11:56 pm

ladies and gentlemen
have you been reading the stats
have ya heard the calls of the blog-advertisers
as they hound me day and knight
temptin’ me with loookrahtive offahs, my tiny birdies
oh please sk, with you pie sliced thus
and your daily blah blahs now reaching a mean average rainfall…
puh lease
i must admit
when i started yon bloggy
i was, let us say, perhaps just a little
tempted by the prospect
of having a diary to sell
and any fool can see
even you
that seeing yonder goode blogge is free
that no fool on erf
not even you
would pay good munny
for a previously free
and downloadable item
anyway where was i
interesting visit from other members of guilty trippe
saying they had had just a quarter
and demanding my ye olde basse
which ole sk not so keene to part with it
oh sk
yer grammars all shot
you tried to go all populist and hippo
but yer grammar and yer spellin are suffring, olde human bean
how is this slangslingin hipster commensurate
with yer image
as the re-nay-sonce manne, you olde crim
how do we fuckin well reconcile this tanned olde beachcomber
droppin’ his gees all over the plaice
with the pale consumptive
of yore
who always dotted his peas
and minded his queues
oh sk
yer mixin fuckin metaphores
you olde linguistic freake
you playful preposition dropper
you melder of the queens inglish into sk speak
and i see in my comments section
that yall adoptin sk speak
so kay
my tiny fishes
so kay
oh come let uss redraw him
its perfectly natural to use sk speak
espesh among the “straights”
you know the upptite cats
the ones with jobs workin for the manne
keepin your humble hero wrapped up in red tape
and waterbills
blaming me for the weather
holdin me accountable for mah wilde ways
for makin mariju fuckin wahna illegal
when it should be the boooze which is illegal, BAYBEE
if it has to either of em
theyre fuckin happy to send ya to war
but will nae let ya smoke mother nature
in case
its bad for ya
well mr sk, we KNOW wars badde for ya
so kiss yer ass goodbye
we aint sure (SURE!!)
that the ole potski is or aint
we prohibiting it for yer own fuckin goode, boyo
but what about the receptors in mah brain
the one that will never switch on without ye olde THC
forget it sk
yer not allowed to smoke ye olde weedie
and paint yer songs
and choreograph yer poems
and sculpt yer abs
and penetrate the mysteries
of art
you carry on with
so there you go
i am the monster you have created
i am sk
i am a blogger
i am a bohemian loyalist
and i have the earrings and drugs to prove it
i am a member of the choich
who have given up much rock
so you cood all bee free
dont try and holde me down
you eville govamence
i will not succumb
you will know me by the tail of the duds
i am sk
i have no capitals
i am unborn
yet manifest
i am….
uh oh
i gotta doo my xmas shopping

14 Responses to “sk, a dyslexic mindreader”

  1. avatar
    paula | 20 December 2005 at 1:01 am #

    arrrrr me harty red tape hath given me jack the dancer twenty years on the dole and still no progress even though i got art that leaps out o the speakers and grabs ya gooseys even though i got a back catalog o fine shite that would generate lots o export $$ but hear i sit hungover for the millionth time replying to you o my brother o my sista and do ya think afta all this repressed red tape dodging that im gonna back down join the ranks fit into the nite mare? i feel another masterpiece enshooing…. ahh wheres that machine .. hats off to you compadre !perhaps one day we will join forces collaberate on a very oversized cheeze based red tape sucker bah bah black squeek

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2005 at 1:01 am #

    Lovely sounding bass by the way.
    Do yee dee tune the E string?
    Just as well you called it gilt trippe and not tripe old bean.
    Or sir would have been jolly baity.
    Blog on!

  3. avatar
    eek | 20 December 2005 at 1:09 am #

    Oh, I love the stats! I’m always thrilled if I can be the red dot on the world map (means I’m the most recent visitor) — pretty pathetic, I know, but I take my thrills where I can get them. And I love trying to figure out if I know any of the other people on at the same time I am.

    I was looking at the Google Ad-Sense info, and apparently it picks what ads to put on the site based on the what you write in your blog. ….I would LOVE to see what ads would get picked for some of your entries. 🙂 It could be absolutely hilarious!

    And a big FUCK YOU! to the people who want to prohibit stuff for other people’s “own good.” Nasty little busy bodies should work on themselves before worrying so much about other people.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2005 at 1:32 am #

    War, war wot is it gud for absolutely nothing – say it again!!
    Yee old salts down in Cronulla should be getting their heads together & smokin the peace pipe.
    Surely they’ve heard of Lebanese Blond?

  5. avatar
    Matt Davison | 20 December 2005 at 2:10 am #

    aucklandSk and others..
    the night is still
    It’s a Blogg
    Gramma don’t matta
    It’s the unsolicited thought
    the reality in the jungle of
    consumer loyalty
    theaving rattlers in the reeds,
    tis the season isnt it…
    those police needed to fix it all, long ago..
    we are left pondering?
    the Choich wil save us
    SK will guide us
    The meer mortals will show us
    and Bono will inform us
    INXS are bac like what they did..
    Hope u do SK
    It could hav gone all wrong..
    If it all gets too much
    come to NZ we welcome you
    We love peace here… as you know
    Ask Timmy
    his beats born on the streets of Wellywood..
    Ya band lv ya .
    and ya fans …
    yr art
    yr words
    and even when yr grumpy
    merry Xmas
    Ova and out!

  6. avatar
    Jeffrey Von Stetten | 20 December 2005 at 7:15 am #

    Dear Mr. Sk. I dig your blog. In an effort to be reciprocally generous, please feel free to listen to my new tune, it’s unfinished in the sense that it needs some drums, but it’s still very cool in all it’s naked and rawness, you can’t help but love it, hope you feel the same… Jeff’s Site

    Keep up the good work!!!

    Here’s the Lyrics from one of my songs called “No time”… it suits as a reciprocal blog which I hope you enjoy, I thought it wsa pretty cool…
    have a great night, or day, whatever it is where you are… Peace.

    your bud,


    I could see you in the sun……..
    I could see you in the stars
    I could hear your voice inside the waves
    running down running down in the tide

    I don’t know what your going for
    but I know that it’s good
    I don’t know where you’re headed now
    unfold like it should
    like it should
    should’ve been…
    should’ve been….

    one in nine

    forward in this dream

    I don’t know where you’re going to
    shoot across our galaxy
    sitting still for you
    fly to be free
    fly to be free…..

    I don’t know where it’s going now
    I could guess I’d be wrong
    rose petals unfolding around your face
    lulled to sleep by a sirens song

    I don’t know it could get better
    better than this ain’t much
    phasing out of the time and farther and farther away

    There you go. By the way do you have any favorite vege restaurants?

  7. avatar
    sue c | 20 December 2005 at 11:51 am #

    sk … you’d make a luvly skrooge 🙂 Thanx for the giggles.

    ps yes, drugs are the lesser evil. Booze makes people nassty, very nassty … ugly minded human beings want to slobber all over you at xmas with their beer breath and think they’re comedians when they’re ridiculously not…and then comes NYE .. its a dangerous world out there! 🙂

  8. avatar
    Ron | 20 December 2005 at 12:25 pm #


    Did those prophets of long ago ever leave us? Did they ever go?
    Did they ever leave to find their true gift?

    Tears and books and books and books
    Songs and looks and looks and looks

    Rhyme and reason
    Philosophical lights and whatnot all over the place.
    Scheming for the gusto under all that stuff
    The skin gets tough
    But not that tough
    Just enough

    Crisps, and crunchy at that
    Living with a mission
    Somewhere else
    It doesn’t matter
    For one day they shall be king
    King of all-

    And isn’t that neat.

    I took off my headphones today and I was still laughing!

  9. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 20 December 2005 at 3:40 pm #

    Trabajo con doctores que te pueden dar una receta para la mota. Con o sin receta obteniendo mota nunca ha sido problematico en San Francisco. Nos vemos pronto, yo traigo la mota y la leche de soya de chocolate!

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2005 at 5:31 pm #

    in reference to a comment you made the other days…

    creationism was defeated in the courts in the US today. doenst mean it was in the celestial.
    dig the Hopi.

  11. avatar
    RONIN | 20 December 2005 at 6:18 pm #

    Another fab post! No matter how shitty the news is (the lunatics are running the asylum), I always get a smile from my favorite blogge…

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2005 at 9:44 pm #

    Or you’re trying to read dyslexic minds.
    Or temperamental contradicting arse’s going back and forth.
    You’re certain that it’s easy to be sure?

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 20 December 2005 at 10:58 pm #

    Wow, is that australian cockney?

  14. avatar
    aidin | 16 October 2006 at 5:19 pm #

    Interesting blog about spa, keep up the good work spa

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