posted on April 5, 2009 at 8:42 pm

today i visit the big heart quack
the professor with his dapper suit
doctor mc suave
who will try to determine
at 500 bucks an hour
whether my irregular heartbeat
was caused by the dehydration
or if its a thing i always have had
cos i wanna get off this medication i’m on
which is making me feel weird
a weird in a very weird way
and weirdly
even i dont have the vocabulary
to describe this feeling of….of…of…
you see…?
its hard to put your finger on it..
but anyway
i’m not feeling myself these days (oooh mr humph….etc)
maybe i can get off this amiodarone
by the way my good wife will be accompanying me
so she can get the story straight from dr rich mc suaves mouth
then later on
i’m gonna record some possible music for a tv show
(probably the philistines wont like it)
but at least i will be doing it with
the man with the best english accent in australia
mr david skeet (ex venetian ) (like timbo)
in his comfy bohemian studio up the junga
if the bloody tv dont like it
i use it for something else
finding myself carless instead of careless
(yes …no saabs…what was i thinkin’?)
the family n i took a long long walk
visiting a specialist lolly shop in rose bay
down to the water
up to a park
up new south head road
down dover road
back down old south head road
and wending our way back thru the houses and passageways
back to home home on the strange
the woofle got quite pissed off towards the end
it musta been a 5 mile walk at least
and by the end she just refused to hoof it
this led to me or nk carrying her
even tho we carried her
she continued to whimper
now whimpering can really get an olde mans goat
and the kid had my goat, i do not kid man
but luckily
right at the end
she shut up
climbed down
n got on with it
eve n aurora was so full on noisy
that i changed the side of the street to get away
from their constant yabbering and eves #&%^$ cartwheels
at the lolly shop i purchased some choc bullets (non vegan)
and some white frogs (non vegan)
and the kids got these lolly-pop rings (non-anything real)
and nk got 2 peppermint creams
and we got some tattoo gum (what flavour? ..sugar!)
with tattoos that said
dont touch!
a mobile phone speaking on a mobile phone
a gold cup with the winning checked flags
i came home n started a major overhall on my painting room
i have discovered loadsa olde notebooks
olde scrapbooks
and newspaper articles on the church
and a photo of a very young n slim me
sitting in my black loungeroom with the redcarpet in rozelle
underneath a couple of gold records
it looks groovier than it was
but the fam all cooed over it
and a pic of russell n monored looking rebellious (or something)
i wish i had a museum or something to keep this remnant
of what was once a good collection of church stuff
its the last lot
its all in a big big bag in the garage now, anyway
youd think i’d wanna look thru it all
but i’d never have the time
so there it all is….
meanwhile the room remains half done
i have lots of bits n pieces for my painting
brushes rollers pastels paint paper pencils erasers etc
and its hard keeping track of it all
so i’m trying to re arrange it all thoroughly
i have painted the very best painting ive ever done
its a big golden dragon
and everyone agrees its the best
its my dragon
it came outta my head
its basically got golden scales but with red n turquoise markings
its got the most evil reptilian eye
and its teeth are disgustingly horrible
it would be such a conversation piece in yer living room
i mean
its a nasty dragon
and the gold metallic changes as the light changes
it flashes, y’all…
i guess this’ll be up at my site soon
along with
metallic forest
the weird baby bird
the horse (eve calls it the ice-mare)
the rabbit (thats my fave says aurora the human bunny)
and a small self portrait
and a lovely one of eve as a dryad
and a strange one of a sybil or something
uh huh
thats shood do ya for now
listening to adorata by gutter twins (thanks mark!)
listening to beatles and sigur ros
listening to myself
listening to the autumn wind n feeling its wee nip
see ya later then
in spades

36 Responses to “smalltalk”

  1. avatar
    princey | 5 April 2009 at 10:43 pm #

    I’m hoping your results at the docs will be good news sk. I didn’t realise you had ongoing problems from that episode, I’m quite worried now:(

    Looking forward to seeing your new paintings, the ugly dragon sounds like something my son would absolutely love…what is it with boys and their love of gross looking monsters’n’aliens??????

    Take care sk and love always,

  2. avatar
    Richard | 5 April 2009 at 10:52 pm #

    could do with the wee nip of the autumn wind here

    air con is down in the office (and the windows are hermetically sealed of course)

    evidence of a rat in the kitchen at home

    doco blog discouragingly quiet

    ohhh monday morning

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 April 2009 at 10:56 pm #

    take care.good luck at the doctor’s studio.o:)

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 April 2009 at 11:08 pm #

    Good luck with the Ticker.

    Purchased Untitled #23 from iTunes last evening. I’m aware there are plenty of platitudes that fly around The Time Being, the more plats the merrier, but can I say what an extraordinary achievement the records is; can i say, having bought your wares on vinyl, on cassette (remember them?), on Cd etc etc for thirty years, and being a monumental fan of your artistry, and with no intention of diminishing an already astonishing back catalogue, the moment I finished listening to Untitled #23 for the first time I felt, in my heart, that this was the Church album I had been waiting for all along. It is THAT good. There ain’t a dud or even semi-dud on the album, it’s loose, rich, intelligent, depthful, hip, expansive and totally satisfying. My wife was in the kitchen last night when Sonic Saviour came on; thirty seconds in she came into the lounge room and said: “Whooah, what’s THAT? It’s beautiful…” If you guys have done a better song than Sonic Saviour, I’d like to know about it. If a better song has been written in the past 10 years, by anybody, I’d like to hear it. The same with Anchorage.

    Can I just say, then, thank you for a brilliant record. It has a sort of overarching cohesion that makes it very, very sepcial. You guys sound relaxed. You’re taking great risks with that voice of yours. This may be subjective, but I have an intuition this is The Church’s finest album.

    It’s got to the point of the ridiculous when you guys aren’t recognised as one of the best bands working today, in the world. You deserve the utmost remuneration for Untitled #23. You’re well overdue for it.

    So, a humble congratulations to you, Marty, Peter and Tim, for an astonishing work of art.

  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 5 April 2009 at 11:31 pm #

    will i ever see you again???smalltalk…

  6. avatar
    lily was here | 6 April 2009 at 12:11 am #

    I love your small talk. Dont you ever throw that box of stuff away! I’ll have it for the church archives saved lovingly for your grandkids (and future exhibitions). Which reminds me, i need to ring Jane. Thanks to you (via Mark?, thanks Mark), Im enamoured with the Gutter Twins too. Good luck with the song and the Doc, glad nk’s going with ya. KC thinks “you should have this looked at regularly” means once a decade. An emperor’s dragon. oh yeah, you should paint a whole series of dragons xxx

    ps Sunken Sun; seas of gold, minotaurs, mysterious doors, spirits, ship bells, girls in the underworld; reminds me of His Dark Materials too. Its getting quite a flogging on the stereo here and like each page of those books, new sounds keep emerging from all these tracks, its pretty wonderful.

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 April 2009 at 12:54 am #

    Andiodarome – discovered in 1961 by two Belgian scientists (Stella and Artios) but not approved in the US until 1985. Strongest form of drug type associated with stabilizing a fast forming irregular heartbeat.

    Make sure Dr Rich is handed a copy of Untitled # 23. He’s checking one of the most talented and most sacred irregular tickers in the modern World. 🙂

    Paul Lightfoot

  8. avatar
    Freddie | 6 April 2009 at 1:12 am #

    I hope the big special doc says you’re okay (hugs).
    I look forward to seeing your new paintings, especially the dragon.

  9. avatar
    captain mission | 6 April 2009 at 1:35 am #

    i miss my family more than anything, the long walk with screaming kids trailing behind, the respite at the shop for ice cream or chips, the return journey with the complaints and conflicts and my bad jokes as resolution. those days were hard to beat now they are gone.

    i hope your appt. goes well.
    i’m petrified of pharmaceuticals and that whole medical industry but i know if something goes wrong i’m gonna be plugging into it for help and hoping they can rescue me.

  10. avatar
    PAGEY | 6 April 2009 at 2:17 am #

    Thinking about you superstar! Hope the heartbeat is good and fine and strong and normal.

    Talked to my sister who lives in Ottawa. She says the Blues fest is more rock n roll than blues, a big shebang. My sis is stoked, she is a fan through me only and wants to see you guys rock.

    God Bless.

  11. avatar
    lily was here | 6 April 2009 at 2:28 am #

    usa tour dates are now up at
    Email Lloyd at if you wanna help out


  12. avatar
    loolaabillions | 6 April 2009 at 4:18 am #

    how much do you want for the dragon?
    i juz got a spare 9 hunge
    off mr k rudd
    telli’n me to
    spend spend
    will you part ways?? xx

  13. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 6 April 2009 at 5:00 am #

    Best of luck at the doc’s SK. I had an irregular heart beat in the late 1990’s – actually it started about 1985 but it didn’t act up much until about 1998. I finally went to the cardiologist. Just had some benign extra beats – nothing major, thank God. They had me on beta blockers- eh, wasn’t crazy about ’em.

    Here’s one for you. I had a terrible irregular heartbeat right before a Church show in L.A. in 1998. I literally had to go to the ER and I’d rather do ANYTHING than make a scene but I was getting really scared. By the time I got there, like a car, my ticker was back ticking normally. I got more beta blockers and then went to see you guys that night at House of Blues. That’s where I first met you. And sadly, Moody Marty as well. LOL! Let’s not revisit THAT shall we…anyway, my heart does go on…and I am praying yours does too for a long, long time.

  14. avatar
    davem | 6 April 2009 at 6:34 am #

    Hope it goes well at the quacks.
    Thinking of you!

  15. avatar
    Masi | 6 April 2009 at 6:42 am #

    Pot = Saab.

  16. avatar
    melissa | 6 April 2009 at 6:48 am #

    Steve, good luck with the heart appointment today, very much hoping that all is ok.

    I had to see a cardiologist a couple of times last year too. His name was Dr Better 😉 And a bit of dream-boat too .. *sigh*

    all the best

  17. avatar
    linjo | 6 April 2009 at 7:14 am #

    Hi Steve, my dad was found to have an irregular heartbeat about 15 years ago which he blames on Kambucha (?) tea, remember that craze? Anyway he didnt like the way the medication made him feel “slow” so he only takes a Cartia (coated aspirin) daily to stop blood clots which can form when the heart stops beating. He has had two general anaesthetics since then with no problems. He tries to keep his body in as alkaline state as possible by drinking water from his alkaliser (cost him $1500)and taking a teaspoon of bicarb soda every day. An alkaline state is supposed to be best for preventing cancer as you prob know.
    I told im I betta start fixin im up with some bacon and egg ‘feeds’ if I want me inheritance eh!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 April 2009 at 7:27 am #

    I thought maybe you were sick steve, only two cheap shots at george bush the past week. Please pick up the pace old chap, very original.

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 April 2009 at 7:30 am #

    “Your comment has been saved and will be visible after blog owner approval. “

    Are you fucking kidding me? Our hero is into censorship. Wouldn’t want to take a chance that anyone might go against the company line. Bohemian my ass. Hilarious!

  20. avatar
    EDD | 6 April 2009 at 7:46 am #


  21. avatar
    EDD | 6 April 2009 at 7:48 am #

    How do you feel about Roky Erikson and the 13th Floor Elavators or The Hickoids for that matter?!!!! Please reply, SK

  22. avatar
    12str | 6 April 2009 at 8:13 am #

    Dont go for SAAB.. they´re part of the bankrupt General Motors company and are about to go straight down the drain..i guess that if spareparts is expensive in Oz for SAAB now, it will get more expensive if they stop to manufacture it. Its a nice car to drive though..
    take care

  23. avatar
    eek | 6 April 2009 at 8:41 am #

    Hope the dr. visit goes well and your arrhythmia was just because of the dehydration. I think it’s great NK is going in with you — it’s often a good idea to have someone else there to catch things you might miss. My mum used to often have me come with her when she went to the doctor.

    Oh I hope the music for the tv show gets used — that could be great for you.

    The dragon sounds fantastic! I’ll have to make sure my niece checks it out — she loves dragons. And the metallic forest — I’m a sucker for metallic stuff. Looking very forward to seeing all of them.

    Just looking through the US Tour dates and can’t help but notice there isn’t a single gig in a state that voted Republican in the 2008 US Presidential Election. It’s The Blue State Tour!!

  24. avatar
    fantasticandy | 6 April 2009 at 9:04 am #

    good luck at the quack’s !

  25. avatar
    eek | 6 April 2009 at 9:13 am #

    Oh yeah — I’m really, really, REALLY loving Untitled #23. It’s one fantastic album!

  26. avatar
    veleska1970 | 6 April 2009 at 10:46 am #

    good luck with the doctor appointment. hopefully he can give you a clean bill of health and this will be the end of your episode finally.

    lotza love…..

  27. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 6 April 2009 at 11:02 am #

    …hope you get your money’s worth from the ticker guy…..talking of specialists, have spent $$$$$ on taking my little dog (she’s my 2nd daughter) to the eye specialist….turns out she had (now recovering from) an abscess behind her left eye giving her a really bad case of glaucoma….poor little thing….don’t begrudge a penny…

    what do i go for at the lolly shop?
    *jersey caramels
    *chocolate cobbers
    *white knight bars
    *morella jubes
    *chocolate freckles
    *red frogs
    *m and m’s (and don’t NOBODY tell me they’re the same as smarties ‘cos they’re not)
    christ, no wonder my dentist loves me…

    can’t wait to see your gorgeous dragon….will have to send you a photo of the dragon picture someone did for me a few years ago…

    as for your church stuff, make sure you’ve got it stored away so the rats, mice, etc etc etc don’t get into it….(voice from the next room YES MUM)

    ok, enough from me….blah blah blah…

    love always….

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 April 2009 at 12:02 pm #


  29. avatar
    iseult | 6 April 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    hope your ok sk

    richard are you richard from darwin?

  30. avatar
    Max | 6 April 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    I love reading this bottom up, Japan style if you will.

  31. avatar
    restaurant mark | 6 April 2009 at 1:58 pm #

    hope all goes well at the doctor steve.
    the dragon sounds incredible…hope you put a pic up at some point!

    so i checked myspace this morning and saw a bulletin from the church saying u.s. tour dates…so with eager enthusiasm i went and checked…nooooo atlanta, not even florida, tennessee, south or north carolina…nothing remotely close. are more dates coming or is this it? breaks my heart…virginia is a hell of drive…12 hours or so? never occured to me that you guys might not play atlanta…normally do, you seem to like it. bummer…shows are expensive as it is…don’t think my wife and i will be able to either pay for an ass load of gas or plane tickets, and a hotel room…not to mention we’ll have a newborn, so i don’t think we’ll be able to take multiple days away. sorry to ramble just make me sad to know we’re probably gonna have to miss my favorite band.

    take care everyone

  32. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 6 April 2009 at 2:15 pm #

    A five mile walk is nothing for Sk. I need to walk five miles a day but I won’t be listening to “Walk This Way.”

    Best wishes to SK and NK.

  33. avatar
    CSTCoach | 6 April 2009 at 2:30 pm #

    “speeking of which i see the crunch is hedding to ottawa
    which is the french word for capital city
    and playing a blues fest (!?)”

    Is that for fucking real?!?

    Ottawa’s less than an hour from my hometown. I lived there for 10 yrs off and on. Now bout 5 hrs away down past toronto, but you know i’ll be there (plus one or two of the US dates near here). know a great veg place in ottawa for ya. dinner and a fix for this fucking rsi (once and for all!), on me.

  34. avatar
    seoigh | 6 April 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    Just give it a look. It's not mine and I am in no way profiting from the sale.

    I'm just saying that it might be a good idea to try to find someone who can release the Church's backlog on 180 gram vinyl.

    The demand is not huge, of course — but it's there. And the people buying 180 gram have deep pockets.

    I'm just saying.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled psychic crisis of middle age.

  35. avatar
    matt davison | 6 April 2009 at 8:32 pm #

    Thinkin bout ya sk…. ATB ‘


    loooooooooooooooove 23 fella ” as amazing as the other 22 maybe the best who knows!!

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 6 April 2009 at 9:28 pm #

    i too hope all goes well with the doc.

    are the dates of the US tour final or where there be more to come? hope so. the band is ignoring the southern half of the states (on purpose?). there are alot of devoted church fanatics in the southern half of the states (specifically dallas, texas). last time y’all were here, the band played encores. as far as i can find, it was the only occassion that occured on the 06 tour. PLEASE come near!

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