posted on January 27, 2006 at 10:05 pm

ok
everything back to abnormal
whatever i was gonna say yesterday
has flown from my head
i notice thre are small black ants
running all over my terminal here
its so noisy in here
hard for my imagination to take off
never mind
all that
as an incredible co incidence yesterday
i bumped into mr frankie k. a great musician
and a friend from the emerald aisle
very nice guitarist
who your humble scribbler met under
embarrassing circumstances
20 years ago
(ok oldetimer, were gonna hear it
whether we want to
or not..
aint we?)
yep
you are
it was like this…
your screen warps
you are inna limo
outside its a snowy cold day
turning into night
its 1986
your somewear up new england way
tonite your band is playing an ice rink
and for some reason
some dude has laid it all on
limos, accom thats like these
individual named winter wunderland cottages
in some little forest
now sk and boize
zipping down ye olde highway
imaginin their bigge rock starz
on their way to an important gigge
ya get to the ice rinky dinky
its huge baby-o
wow the fantasy is perpetuated…
we must be huge here…
theres fuckin’ security men everywhere
SECURITY MEN !!
wow im gonna need some protecting
from that wilde space rockin’
conneckykutt crowd
or wherever we are…
oh kay
nice catering
veggie food
guacemole dip….
BLUE corn chips, ok
im gettin impressed
this gigge could be ye olde rip snorter
oh we’re gonna feel like a real group…
we start yonder soundcheck
we are just doing myrrrhhh when
some uvver bleedin’ groop arrive
standin round staring
or glaring
at yer fave bands goode soundcheck
sk slings down his fender basse
carefully
minces off stage in a huffy
who the hell are these druids
raining on my little parade
here in this snowy forest ice rink
in the middle o nowear
tonite was gonna be our night…
nervous and long sufferin’ tour manny:
well uh steve uh theres a bitta confusion…
confusion..CONFUSION! what confusion??!!
well there two groopz playin in icy rinc tonite…
who are this uvver groop…?
theyre called CACTUS WORLD NEWS
the name sends fear into my innards
aint they from ireland?
yep.
somethin to do with you too
yep.and their album is 36 on
the blah blah blah chart
with the bullet, baybee.
sk all hot and bovvered
but says t. manny
the contract aint cleer who goes on first..
what? us open for them? us
the best aussie space rock band ever?
the guys who made heyday?
the orrible urch from bondi beach
opening for some irish unknown quantities
who may even be ..gulp…POLITICAL?
never the rose without the prick
why does every eden have a fuckin’ snake?
we hunker down into frozen silence
the 2 groups checkin’ each others haircuts
checkin’ each others guitars
checkin’ each others position in
the college crossover indy tiny chart
we aint goin on before them
we mutter to each other
angry and sullen
we watch their soundcheck
theyre kinda loud and angry
i’ll not bloody go on before loud and angry
irish groopz
how will this be resolved
were both been booked here
in this cold cavernous hall of ice
but it dont say who sposed to go on furst
we getting perplexed
what if it is sposed to be them…
(now heres a perfect example
of takin yer eye off the ball..
while we were sulking and complaining
and being all egotistical and proud
our managers were back home
rakin’ in the dollars
and laughin’)
so eventually we decide to just turn up late
that way they got no choice
and it worked before
once at a festival in norvern nsw
back in the erly daze
we didnae wanna go on before
the sonny boys
so we just turned up late
the sonny boys had to go on
ha ha
and now it was these guys turn
to learn
dont mess with the crunch
go back to my lil cabin
its even got its own name
we hang out
we hop in limos
we return to gig
the oirish fellas have been and played
we meet em backstage
they dont seem angry
or anyfing
they seem to be kinda smurking
ok whatever
sk retires to dressing room
ah this is more like it
ooowee theres my bottle of mescal
wow i drink it everynite
thinkin it contains mescaline
roll up a number
feeling like a little king here
celtic tiger vanquished for now
steve, i got some bad news for ya
i fix the t. manny with a laconic stoned gaze
not now olde been, im getting my charisma together
ok, man….it dont matter
ten minutes later
we swann onstage
to 8 people
in this enormous echoing empty
place
the security men outnumber the “audience”
ten to one
i see c.w.n. disappear out the back door
those lucky bastard escapin this frozen hell

it just goes to show…
something…
i guess
love on ya
meee

26 Responses to “something from the receiver”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 January 2006 at 11:15 pm #

    Play Atlanta, Ga next tour Steve and I promise ya more than 8 peeps will show up….

    Any stories about Atlanta? Good or Bad?

    Brian Turner
    USA

  2. avatar
    eek | 27 January 2006 at 11:16 pm #

    Oh that was great! I love other people’s embarrassing stories. 😉

    and the couple of Coral Kingdom pieces on Kearns Salt studio site are absolutely wonderful too. I love those.

  3. avatar
    OTTOMT | 27 January 2006 at 11:24 pm #

    Damn those life lessons.

    …and those 8 were probably on the guest list!

    Pass the bottle of sting-ease, please!

    Happy Chinese New Year!

  4. avatar
    Handyman | 27 January 2006 at 11:38 pm #

    sk didn’t mention that the 8 made up the road crews!

    Awesome story…

    D

  5. avatar
    OTTOMT | 28 January 2006 at 12:08 am #

    Oh no! You were counting Mr. John Goodenough Horton?

    What’s he up to?

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 January 2006 at 12:27 am #

    http://www.cactusworldnews.com/links.htm

    They have links to the choich webby and karmic hit!

    Nice one CWN!

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 January 2006 at 12:33 am #

    thanks sk
    for the good chuckle
    love the funny
    bloggies*
    laugh laugh laugh
    you are
    very funny
    you know**
    happy weekend
    love
    diane
    * and all the rest too
    **of course you do

  8. avatar
    12str | 28 January 2006 at 12:36 am #

    hahahahaha..
    the ironi of it all….
    the lessons we learn..
    anyway..in my book you guys are the best…
    keep on rocking maan!
    hahahahahaha…..
    love
    12str

  9. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 28 January 2006 at 12:39 am #

    Estuvo de pelos!
    Abrazos,
    Cecilia

  10. avatar
    buzby | 28 January 2006 at 1:39 am #

    do the reside in the ‘where are they now?’ category?

  11. avatar
    mike | 28 January 2006 at 3:03 am #

    Did you at least get paid for the gig?

  12. avatar
    Laurie | 28 January 2006 at 3:15 am #

    Now how could I remember Desert World Noise if I never knew who they were then? The Crunch was so right to stand up for themselves. The Church: now there’s a band then AND now.

    thanks and much love,

    LG

  13. avatar
    matt davison | 28 January 2006 at 4:31 am #

    -Kilbey You silly Duffer!!
    Well spose like the Kiwi gig u had seen better…
    Never mind!!!
    The first rule of marketing is
    when there is a captive audience
    (get em before they leave..)
    any-way on bands etc
    yr little quattro.

    Bowieee
    Iva Davies and tha House
    Michael H
    Enz
    The The

    All had similar stories
    What do ya think of the choich and A-ha together in aid of an East Timor benifit gig????
    .
    Over and out.

  14. avatar
    bpd | 28 January 2006 at 5:24 am #

    Classic tale – has it all , heroes & villians, a cunning plan thwarted..

    bpd

  15. avatar
    glory doll | 28 January 2006 at 9:06 am #

    Great story, Steve! I once embedded the machine heads of my Fender Musicmaster into the rubbery floor of the local roller skating rink at a “Battle of the Bands”, after an infuriating gig…sadly, we took second place (we were the only original band there) to a hair metal band called HOT PINK…hot pink plastic chains hanging off of the cymbal stands, hot pink rags tied to the mic stand ala that Aerosmith dude, the ubiquitous “killer looks”, etc…hahahahaha…we won a microphone and kept our integrity. Loveya!

  16. avatar
    bdc | 28 January 2006 at 10:27 am #

    It is priceless when your inner battler smacks down your inner rock star. Do you think many others in your field (outstanding or otherwise) can see it for the Spinal Tap world that it is? Or do they just not tell us that they do?

  17. avatar
    Houndslow | 28 January 2006 at 10:35 am #

    Very funny,

    You have every level covered, deep, surreal, sensitive, comic etc
    Your character leave’s no turn unstoned

    yours sincerely

    Mr Houndslow

  18. avatar
    captainmission | 28 January 2006 at 12:09 pm #

    Thats a gem of a tale. I remeber Catus World News, i think i even had their 1st album something about a ‘clock’ but if its any consolation i only played it once, possibly just the first side, to busy listening to the church and some obsure london post punk bands.

  19. avatar
    oldchurchfan | 28 January 2006 at 12:37 pm #

    2 smart by halves hey sk, but u have the last laugh. a sad but funny story. you’re the best

  20. avatar
    gavgams | 28 January 2006 at 1:06 pm #

    Not just a story… a parable. Ta

    Re “Hot Pink” name (comments above) – brothers band had name of “Placid Satin”, but didn’t take themselves seriously (luckily).

    And thanks Steve, for the self-revealing of “26 yrs” blog. Your honesty and strength to write of the man stripped bare commands respect. Great blogging, great writing.

  21. avatar
    youamwho | 28 January 2006 at 1:55 pm #

    Hi Steve, all,

    Sorry to hog bandwidth and veer off into other territories but Sue Campbell is a MOST important person in *my* world …hopefully others’ here as well.

    Posted this to Seance, I’ll post it here —

    Our Sue had a most unfortunate mishap on the eighteenth of this month,
    during her “vacation”.

    While waterskiing she stumbled upon a floating tree branch, yeah.
    OUCH. Let’s just say OUCH.

    Sparing the torrid details, she’s okay, bruised, slightly
    bloodied but seemingly unbowed … she’s Sue, eh …

    NOTHING can beat our Sue …NOT on Marky’s watch it can’t!

    Send out some massive goodness, eh!

    m

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 January 2006 at 2:39 pm #

    In Have an CWN 12 inch single somewhere here but then i have an this asphalt eden 7inch single also…dont play either of them much (never come back is a wasted hidden little gem though!)

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 January 2006 at 6:46 pm #

    steve,
    so you had bonehead bump into you, I had MWP bump into me at noosa 2005 at noosa resort, much rather bump into MWP, love your blogg,
    russell p t

  24. avatar
    Daberhasher | 29 January 2006 at 2:09 am #

    well boyo, you trance ended the noisy din and unleashed one hell of a yarn…

    well done, scrapper!!!

    aloha,
    erik

  25. avatar
    Maur_or_Less | 29 January 2006 at 9:47 am #

    Your comments on the Sunnyboys bought back many memories. Used to follow you guys to every show between Brisbane & Sydney & everywhere in between, in the early ’80s. Oh, the number of crappy outdoor festivals I sat through waiting for you to play!!

    Now at last, I know why the band list changed every now & then…. you were “fashionably late”…..

    I love your memories of the old days. Have been reading your blog since the start.

  26. avatar
    aguyfromgermany | 1 December 2006 at 11:24 pm #

    I’d say: Worlds apart…


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