posted on August 31, 2010 at 10:25 pm
  • y

i exist in spades

my twisted convoluted story  is a thing of strange wonder

i am multiples surely thats much is obvious

i really am you and you really are he or she

cliche it may be

me? who me tonight?

i move in diagonals along energy meridians

buried deep in my cortex

my face is designed to appeal to you

my voice is talking in your ear

my hands release the brake

i kill i give life i die i have a piss

no limits tonight the house accepts any bet

the wheel spins the numbers rotate the balls tingle in anticipation

i lost my shirt :  i guess they werent bluffing


a voice outta the crowd

oh no not the freaking voices trip again

nevertheless a voice in or outta the crowd says steve…?

i peer into the gloom of my mind where the crowd must be

fuck yes its crowded in there

trams and pedestrians crossing

men n women girls n boys

the living n the dead

everynight some escape onto these pages you read

yes you are me etc

cosmic ? fuck yes

stupid ?  uh huh

anyway i looking for that voice saying my name

steve ….?

the night is wearing thin

a handshake

its a person i dont recognise


i snap to

its andrew andrews my boss from last nights blog

i felt dismayed that his character hasnt been explored more

so here he is back again tonight

i guess something about a guy called andrew andrews tickled my fancy

not as if i couldnt have thought of any other silly name like that

charlie charles

mick nicks

i dunno

anyway andrews is a rude bastard

he’s no longer my boss tho

tonight i’m playing myself in this saggy saga

steve…?! the rude bastard says again

he comes up n shouts something in my ear

its deafening


what?  i mouth back

BLACK THIRTEEN ! he bawls in my ear

he indicates the spinning wheels at the tables

he urges me to put it all on that number

hang on ….hang on…all what….?

whatever you got …..andrews says  over the other voices

i take out my mastercard

i got 1700 bucks on the card i know i just checked it

i chuck it on with my remaining chips

the wheels spin again

red 26…. fuck it ! i lose !

andrews shrugs

sorry he says as i walk off

outside its nevada the badlands

i’m penniless now

i cant afford to be in this story

its night its cold its the badlands

i turn the page and i’m in fucking tahiti

i’m loaded i’m young

i’m surrounded by luxury

mr andrew andrews ha!

see if i care

i summon up a vegan platter of fresh veggies n various dipping sauces

its all going on here

hey i’ll even chuck in a bit of poetry

the quick brown fog jumped over the lady docs

my room overlooks the beach with horizon glimpses

all rooms come equipped with silver where

please call room service for extra room

no card games after 11 says a sign

the fucking internets slow isnt it?

i look up its andrews again

andrews sitting on my bed with a woman

he grins : better than nevada , eh…..?

i walk through a door and i’m back in bondi

back in my own room now

my rented room with the red light

my books n my magazines

my clothes chucked about

my twelve stringed guitar

marconi union on the eyebox

ringling ears n all that

type type type


18 Responses to “souler flair”

  1. avatar
    princey | 31 August 2010 at 10:44 pm #


  2. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 31 August 2010 at 11:21 pm #

    Sk- so…mr. andrews (i presume) dogs u in ur dreams. a right old bastard from ur past who shows up when he feels like it and as before, acts as a pain in the arse. I say the next time he pops in- turn to him, smile-and kick him square in his so-called manhood. nothn like a man rolling around on a dirty floor , grabbing his crotch, to make u laugh. ATTENTION: as in yesterdays blog response to the amazing SK, i suggested taking part in “rock throwing”. And now todays response , i offer more advice of a violent , physical nature. I am not an aggressive person by nature. i can only imagine what has gotten into me. could be the hot weather we are having here in chicago, or possibly the new diet of tiny un-cooked bunnies, yes that is alarming- the real problem is what to do when the fur gets caught in my teeth.

    Darrin K.

    SK- when u began painting, what was the type of paint u tried using. Oils, water color, or acrylics ? And the size of the canvas. I have recently taken the hobby of painting back up , along with my 2yr old as she so loves to paint. I dabbled with it 20+ years ago. Any advice ???

  3. avatar
    lily was here | 31 August 2010 at 11:37 pm #

    “i cant afford to be in this story’ haha
    It’s sim city metropolis in your head!

  4. avatar
    Freddie | 1 September 2010 at 1:25 am #

    Andrew Andrews.
    Every time you bring up that name I’m reminded of Mr. Anderson,
    Neo’s illusion in the Matrix.

  5. avatar
    captain mission | 1 September 2010 at 1:38 am #

    incredible writing. i get a mix of raymond chandler, phillip k dick and kafka

  6. avatar
    Cecilia | 1 September 2010 at 3:31 am #

    One of my dreams from last night: Your daughters and I are sitting on the floor in your living room looking at the pictures they’ve drawn. There’s a rectangular coffee table in the middle of the floor and we’ve gathered around it. We randomly pull out the paintings and drawings that are piled on top and each one of the girls tells the story of their particular piece. Then like a very wet watercolor it all fades…

  7. avatar
    Name | 1 September 2010 at 4:02 am #

    Mr. Andrew Andrews. What a group he was. Aren’t you brave even to bring him up; everybody knows him, they are just so horrified by his thought, that it is hard to even think about without rambling and thoughts blank out. Recently someone said it all happened only because they were so stupid. (more) recently I thanked him… you were just trying to keep me from being paranoid while you helped me get my head back, huh? He nodded. Well, yeah, but we both know that even though they are stupid, it’s so calculating and cruel… Mr. Andrews isn’t accidentally stupid.

    Anyway, this dream but I think I was still awake and just in the “inbetween” thinking about something so as not to think about Andrew Andrews… (you have to sleep; can’t think about him) because it was a memory surfacing as a dream.

    I used to jump off the cliffs at the 13th Street Beach… into the surf and swim up the coast to the harbor, then dry off as I walked back along the beach. I did it all the time – it was like flying into the cold waters, through past the waves breaking… passed the undertow. One day, noticing I’m drifting out, not steady, and I am a strong swimmer (coaches were my nannies growing up) so I turned purposely to swim into the beach short of the harbor, but no matter how hard I pulled, just kept drifting farther; so realize so tired so stuck, something happened, oops(!) and it is hours and hours and hours out of control drifting farther and there is no way back (yet). The yet kept me from panic. Because the currents go south not north and I was drifting in the opposite direction – so it was just a minor glitch and soon would turn — besides, somebody would realize I hadn’t gotten back and call someone or something, wouldn’t they (they didn’t – the price of being independent, I guess) – and I am strong and it was kind of peaceful if I didn’t think about the not getting back – really cold though! As the sun started to set, there was the coast guard – oh thank you oh thank you and they dragged me out of the water and put a blanket around me – and then arrested me. A vagrant current had pulled the waters miles out with me in it…

    Not part of my drift last night, but: the coast guard? They weren’t there to save me, they were looking for boats that were loaded with cocaine. Apparently they thought I was some idiot mixed up in that. I got off – the judge realized I was just a normal idiot, not a drug running one… Some older man in the courtroom that day – heard what happened, and as I was leaving the bldg we passed each other. He said to me, “you were in a Malaki,” and he smiled. I just said, oh?! — and smiled back; didn’t know what he meant.

    Mr. Andrews … you are so huge and powerful and apparently can manipulate anything/anyone you choose. So what. (see you in court.)

    • avatar
      anon | 2 September 2010 at 12:47 am #

      wow, that sounds pretty heavy stuff and you have got everyone curious

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 3 September 2010 at 2:35 pm #

      Too bad you just can’t, you know, get even. I have a cousin. It would make you feel better. Good luck

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 3 September 2010 at 2:45 pm #

      Maybe getting even would help. Somebody must have a cousin. It might make you feel better. Good luck.

      • avatar
        Name | 4 September 2010 at 1:10 am #

        It’s immitation, not duplication that is the form of flattery; that’s okay. Swimming is true, the previous is a prelude — to be written later – his character scared me, but gave me at least a couple pages. I’m fine, thank you.

  8. avatar
    Elvis | 1 September 2010 at 4:58 am #

    Comeown Killbay, the badlands ain’t located in Nevada, but Vegas is, an I ain’t plannin own goin to lose a cent! Cause I’m the King of Laws Vegas babbby!

  9. avatar
    Donna | 1 September 2010 at 11:02 am #

    Your rude bastard boss reminds me of Lumbergh from the movie Office Space, obviously rich, obviously cruel…showing up in dreams with a woman…Hey, you even have “flair” in here!! Your boss’s name is Andrew Andrews, but at least YOUR name isn’t Michael Bolton!!! Thanks for another good read! Hope you’re having a great day.

  10. Kraig
    Kraig | 1 September 2010 at 12:59 pm #

    It’s nice to get away once in awhile isn’t it? Doesn’t matter whether it’s on a beach somewhere or all in the mind does it? Thanks for the insight Steve!


  11. avatar
    Mr. Nimbles The Leader of the Leprechauns | 1 September 2010 at 5:48 pm #

    Woo hoo wee hee the little green leprechaun is back and mee luck little green shooes may have too get sum golden polish n sum rainbow laces. Need fixin. Ohhhh that’ll put them fairy tales in place der. Yaknow is Kilbey an Irish name ya olde bugger? Ooooo i really like ur stuff Mr. Kilbey, but should get out now n then lad. I’ll be waitin fur ya under that there bridge over yonder next time yur out n bout. Yull hear me hammer fur way…hhhheeehhheeehhehe

  12. avatar
    hellbound heart | 1 September 2010 at 9:01 pm #

    mind if you send one of your energy meridians across to me? i………utterly…..stuffed……

    love always…

  13. avatar
    andy | 2 September 2010 at 6:05 pm #

    no-one ever calls me andrew……
    unless theyr’e mad with me.

  14. avatar
    DavidP | 3 September 2010 at 3:23 pm #

    so you exist in spades
    and you have been in clubs too
    I know you exist in hearts
    and plenty of diamonds have been turned out by your artistic talents
    so chin up when the chips are down
    don’t get flushed royally
    play the cards right
    you’ve got a winning hand

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