morning fiendss
yep
im in spain
im in bilbao
on the north atlantic coast
lovely little hotel
full of art for arts sake
great room
al mod cons
makes the columbia hotel in london
seem like a prison
this is my home for a few days
and im happy to be here
i feel moreorless neutral towards spain
it aint on my a list like switzerland, holland, hungary,italia
but it aint on my z list like you know where
(the states, france, blighty)
its on my neutral list,
along with germany and belgium and i dunno
as if these countries give a toss what ole sk thinks
so here we are
marty in his element speaking spanish
(i dont like that lisping much tho……)
hello to
manfred u
a lovely german hippy
hello to johnny garret
hello to denise
hello to jaime r
hello to d and t that i met in sydney at the winebank
amanda princess, my greek friend
in melby
hello to nicky s in dublin
to donald b in melby…hows my jack frost videos going
to my friend and brother the mud man
to the guys in colourado
to holly j, my arty mannyger
to gee none, my poetry coordinater
to all the rest
rikki m
belfy
nicky l in putney
(druid, that cd HIT THE FUCKING SPOT)
to boy d, i love ya
ya wifes lovely
and yer son is twice as handsome as you
to altres, my saviour
all the rest of ya
im so in love with you all

i pay my obeisances to vishnu
the most glorious gorgeous magnificent one
he who lets our eyes see
and our ears hear
who makes everything happen in its own goode time
someone wrote in yesterday
why vishnu
why krishna
cant my god be nameless…?
yes he can
god is so kind
he will come to you no matter
my wife n my mother n my brothers call me steven
my friends call me steve
the guys in the groop call me killer
my doodles call me daddy
sometimes the twillies call me papa
the guy in the bank calls me mr kilbey
a guy on a bus might call me sir or mate or hey you
i’ll fucking answer to any of those names
if you need me, if you wanna talk to me
but
like
people
i been searching since i was born
ive dabbled in the lot
drugs, magic, christianity
new age
nlp,alp
i read the koran
i read the bible
i read the pali sutras of buddha
but
for me
the sublime thinking mans way
is bhakti yoga
devotion to god
to krishna
to vishnu
if i was god
id sure appear to humanity as vishnu
but my wife is a devotee of ganesha
the elephant god
we got more statues of old jumbo in our house
than ya can shake a wand at
for her she speaks to lord ganesha
and he answers
the hindus say vishnu has one thousand names
such are his attributes
on the battlefield of the mahabharata
arjuna implores krishna to reveal himself
in his universal form
krishna obliges his friend and devotee
but the sight is more than he can stand
so terrible and inexorably beautiful it is
“i saw whole universes being swallowed up in your mouths”
he begs krishna to return back to his human form
it was all too much
we have personalities and form
god can be formless, huge
a raging electrical void
but its hard for us to have a relationship with that
god is our father
fathers have personalities
god takes on the personality his devotee wishes
god can be your friend
your parent
your child
your lover
dont put limitations on it
vishnu/krishna was the one who came to me
when i hit that bottom
i know
but then again thats how i approached him
if you call for jesus
or shiva
or some goddess
if you call sincerely and needfully
im sure they will appear in these forms
in fact
it occurred to me
when vishnu did come to me that time
that it was more like
that i removed the barrier keeping him out
like taking a seal off something
it was me keeping him out
he was all around
but i was shutting him out
he will flow if you remove the barrier
of course as they say in narnia
aslan aint a TAME lion
meaning god aint at yer beck n call
you gotta mean it
you gotta work at it
i been up for three hours
bathing, purifying my body
chi gong
yoga
meditation
practising this art of communing with god
you think i could play bass n write songs
without years of practice
everything needs practice
you gotta work long n hard
marty speaks fuckin fluent spanish
i dunno a word
but he put those long hours in years ago
i didnt
i cant complain if i didnt do any work
atheism is a bit like that
you dont get results outta nothing
you have to figure it all out
i told ya
after 26 years in this groop
im only just beginning to sing
thats a lotta practice
how much harder if ya wanna walk n talk with jesus
nothing here comes easy…just like that
so i say to ya
read the gita
do some yoga
still your mind
then
and only then
if ya get no results
write back and tell me im jiving ya
proofs in the pudding baybee
you gotta do the homework (unfortunately)
a sublime bit of hindu philosophy
a master and a pupil
“master where does god reside”
the master says
“go to that yonder fig tree and pluck its fruit”
the pupil does so
“now cut the fruit open..what do ya see”
“i see these tiny black seeds”
“now crack a seed open what do ya see now?”
“master, there is nothing there”
ah says the master
that
that nothing
is the power behind everything.
its huge
its infintessimally tiny
its everywhere
its nowhere
get yer head round the paradoxes
you have to
this western world says
things are a or b
eastern world says things are both a and b and yet neither
when i 1st wanted to play bass n sing
i had to learn to deal with that little tiny paradox
my brains going whoah boy
i cant do both these things
i can only do one or the other..
i had to learn a way to do both
now its so easy for me its hard to imagine
a time i couldnt do it
i had to straighten out my brain
who was the “i” straightening out my brain
ah
that was the self
the one self
the same self
in every one of us
in the rocks
in the trees
in the aquatics
i guess even in some motherfucking idiot like georgie bush
there is that one self
that simply knows
how to do everything
the trick
to shut up yer mind
that dont know hardly anythin’
so you can hear the subtle message of the self
so thats why
i work on myself 2 or 3 hours a day
so the self
the brahman
the vishnu in my heart
can be heard
can whisper its knowledge
to my lumpen brain n body
cos i wanna hear that voice
i dont fucking care bout the world cup
(the beautiful game…HA!!)
i dont care bout the pop charts
wall street index
the bad n mediocre reviews ultc is getting
by people who obviously didnae listen
i dont care about yer gossip rags
or bread pitts new diet
or prince harrys new abortion
or whatever
i just wanna hear that sweet voice
we all have inside us
if you were at the borderline
you witnessed the result of my hard work
at rehabilitating my lazy middleaged puffy slob
that i was
into what im trying to become
its a work in progress
for 52 years
i aint even half a % there yet
im still arrogant angry revengeful
lustful greedy etc etc
(insert yer own most loathesome sk quality here)
but im gonna keep on trying
one of the side effects of this process
will be my songs n singing getting better n better
the happiness of my band
the communication with y’all
i thought the cchhur was MY band
nope
its all our band now
im just in control
but im trying to take on all yer dearest expectations
n actualise em for ya
a huge gig, my fiendss
i wont let ya down
our next album will be better
the next after that better still
i will be getting older AND better
till i drop off my perch
i am committed to you
i am committed to creating beautiful pop music
(to answer fandorins question)
i only realised that in the last 4 years
the guy before that wasnt me
he was a half me
not trying
not caring
tossing off the goode with the badde
but no longer
im gonna give ya the best of my love
you will be able to depend on it
i have surrounded myselves with players n producers
the calibre of tp, mwp, pk
simon pollywaffle
jeffy caino
mr kennedy
g bennie
im gonna give ya some goode stuff before i go
and i aint planning on goin anywhere fer a while

anyway that leaves me here
in bilbao
in a little hotel by the river
mountains all around
spaniards in the works
gigs to do
interviews to bullshit my way thru
people to meet
skies to see
gods to adore
im so excited by it all
the wonder of it all, baybee
its great being sk
i used to hate it
i hadda spend 500 bucks a day on smack
to get away from myself
now it aint so badde
i put in the hard yards
i beginning to see a light at the end o the tunnel
yes i still get angry when i lose my bologg
after typing it to ya for 2 fucking hours
yes i still have a million faults
very few virtues
im a human being
but i got lord vishnu sitting in my heart of hearts
and he and i got a tiny dialogue going
i love you people
please dont give up on it all
there IS a whole lotta hurt before ya get to the bliss
but you CAN get thru
bye bye blackbird
steve(n)
xxxxxx