posted on September 17, 2007 at 4:34 am

feeling lonesome and down
feeling like a cloud
trying to keep its shape
in a windtorn sky
feeling hemmed in n empty
feeling like hopelessness
colour fades from things
the light paints things bleached white
sea sick as i walk across the kitchen
the ordinary invades
with its symbols of threat
and with such a slight twist
things become sick and bitter
the various precariousnesses
who is underwriting my life
no one
where is sanctuary
nowhere
the monstrously loud clock
the repulsive dead flowers in their vase
the omnipresent bright blue sky
marks
chips
cracks
stains
lines
wrinkles
holes
ruin
rot
the spiders hang motionless
nothing works properly
the short cuts out long
the tea breaks broken
butter in the sun yellow ooze
faintly feeling movement
as if earth is trembling
as if everything is shifting
the flaws caving in
the collapse of the system
ugliness just about everything
ratchets whirr, hammers striking
inhumane machines tearing into our earth
its madness
i tell you
the sun will explode into darkness
the moon will crash down
people will drown in fire
the scalding oceans shall erupt
and its dark secrets will come up
on the dry land
driven on towards the cities
devouring hope and glory
the shriek of the wind
the laughter in the thunder
the hand that aims the bolt
god is unleashed
his name is chaos
expect the same mercy
as you yourself have shown
but thats….none
youve known its always been out there
an insane agony
a hideous energy
dogging our steps
monkeying in our plans
wolfing down our days
a vile thing
the last bad thing before you get to the good
a blasphemous filthy angel
a statue of a monster
a fountain inhabited by a snake
little eggs laid inside your scalp
eyeless worms burrow
yes the water burns
the water cannot quench our thirst
the water congeals into colours and wax
the water drips in gelatinous vertigo
the water inside us turns to dust
signals distort and interrupt
i keep dropping out
i keep breaking apart
i keep my hands on the wheel
and it spins n it spins
like all of reality
wants to vomit forth my madness
cast it out of itself
i belonged here
i understood how it all worked
i was up n running
running up that hill
pushing the future up the slope
and then
it ran away
wished away
picking up momentum
sliding headlong
premonition
illusion
feeling
ghost
dream
strange
ok

58 Responses to “spring brake”

  1. avatar
    craig1.618 | 17 September 2007 at 5:31 am #

    the comedowns
    they comearound
    always wearing their frowns
    their asides let us down
    intelligible words
    in which we drown
    miserylovingcompany
    that pin us to the ground
    the comedowns

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 5:41 am #

    Hmmmm…the black dog.

    B.Bon

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 5:43 am #

    wow – good writing – sorry you are miserable today

  4. avatar
    the dean | 17 September 2007 at 5:44 am #

    The things we believe will make us happy are the cause of our suffering.

  5. avatar
    daniel12 | 17 September 2007 at 5:46 am #

    Oh Dear.

    The USA is about to attack Iran.

    I’ve been having those feelings too.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 6:02 am #

    You seemed so happy yesterday sk, what’s happened? Hope you’re ok, I feel blu too now:(
    Love you always, Princey

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 6:13 am #

    I LOVE YOU SK! X

  8. avatar
    Mary Magdelene | 17 September 2007 at 6:16 am #

    Everything’s …it’s Allright!..you are a super* Steven! xxxooo 🙂

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 6:45 am #

    …there will come a day,when the sadness of today,will be the basemark for our soaring contentment,and love for our fellow man,and the universal gifts we cant quite clasp in our hearts…love is all that matters..love is all that matters…love is all that matters…if i were there SK,I would give you the biggest warmest hug..everything you wish for,SK,I will wish for you as well…you are a stunning example of the “good” in people..I just love you,as well!…a smile,a kiss,and a hug…love,as always,gen xxxxx ooooo

  10. avatar
    cita | 17 September 2007 at 7:37 am #

    Crazy windy day in Sydney the bite of winter still hangs there. Enough to create dark moods. Sullen thoughts today I feel a bit the same. Your poetic thoughts still inspire even on days like this one.

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 7:38 am #

    genx youre words touch me every day.you are so beautiful.I understand why you are loved.god bless you and the ones you love.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 8:10 am #

    lovely anon. at 5.38….thank you,blessings,right back atcha!…x..love,gen x

  13. avatar
    thickhead | 17 September 2007 at 8:13 am #

    Is this the Heyday story?

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 8:33 am #

    Hey Thickhead 6’13

    Na, I think it’s a starfish story.

    “in the space between our houses some bones have been discoverd”

  15. avatar
    Faye | 17 September 2007 at 8:55 am #

    sounds as though some music may be in order!…maybe you could release the new solo stuff in Melby?..a flying visit to Swanston St.?..SK’s “Pain Killer” would be a treat!..let the music take you away Steve!..you’ve given so much..it’s time you were revered in all of your splendour!..peace,and love.. xo

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 10:30 am #

    Are you sure thhis isn’t the Heyday story?

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:12 am #

    nope!sounds like a few tracks off Starfish to me!

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:39 am #

    ahh steve i had a downer on sunday and i went and spent some time with some friends and my family…picked me right up…you’ve got a beautiful family around you, go and hug them and give them some love, that might help…i’m sending you warm thoughts and honey-sunshine…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:47 am #

    I don’t understand family. Mine were all complete fuckers – physical and mental abuse and humiliation from day one. It’s why I swore (aged 9) that I’d never inflict life on a kid of my own and now (aged 39) I still haven’t.
    I’m not envious of any of you – I’m better off alone like tghis, believe me. I’m glad your families bring you such happiness and feelings of closeness and peace – there should be more of this in the world.

  20. avatar
    isolde | 17 September 2007 at 11:55 am #

    Let me steal this moment from you now

  21. avatar
    that song | 17 September 2007 at 11:57 am #

    Sometimes my shirt is kind of paisley,
    Sometimes my trousers kind of tight,
    I think about,groupie exploitation,
    under the milky way tonight.

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    “that song” at 9:57..wish you knew what you were looking for,yaint no poet,you aint kind.

  23. avatar
    that song | 17 September 2007 at 1:21 pm #

    But it’s somethin quite perculrar,
    sometin dithering and trite,
    that leads you hear,
    depite lost expectations.
    on the time being tonight.

  24. avatar
    dumbass | 17 September 2007 at 1:56 pm #

    Wot no Bono ?!

  25. avatar
    matthew | 17 September 2007 at 2:30 pm #

    Brilliant.

  26. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 17 September 2007 at 2:51 pm #

    Sk is frequently reminiscent of the Greek Pre-Socratic sage philosopher, Empedocles. The ongoing cosmic and universal war between love and strife. Parts of today’s blog were rife with harrowing manifestations of the forces of strife. SK can gauge the intense magnitude of both strife and love. It can be very painful and replete with pathos.

  27. avatar
    lysander | 17 September 2007 at 4:21 pm #

    Pre-Socratic philosophy posits questions along the lines of ‘if I cross the room to touch the opposite wall do i ever actually arrive at the other side or is there always a miniscule distance between my finger and the wall?’
    Good job they also had phalanxes of hoplites to kick Persian arse while the Pre-Socs were sat pondering piffle, I sez.

  28. avatar
    JJ | 17 September 2007 at 5:06 pm #

    I’m always followed by shadows cast, no matter how good I might be feeling at the moment. I turn around – they emerge from temporary hiding.

    You describe some sort of impending apocalypse, the entropy of things, tending towards decay, disorder, chaos. Just like somebody said in that song, “Chaos.” An excellent read today; stark, disturbing, fascinating.

  29. avatar
    davem | 17 September 2007 at 5:37 pm #

    As I was reading this it started to rain!! But sod it!!
    I’m a positive person. Clean the kitchen – it’ll look better.
    Life has so much meaning. Beautiful children, wonderful music. Gifts from God.
    I celebrate you SK. You bring me so much happiness. All the love I can muster I send to you each day.
    God bless you killer.

    xx

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 7:13 pm #

    Hi SK Im sad 2…

    Im in Love with a great guy but I dont feel it back, so for various reasons – new career and to gain some sanity back into my life.
    I decided to move away. I miss everyone, but work will keep me busy and fill the void.

    Sorry for off loading on here, but it has helped a little.

    Take care all and much love
    D
    xx

  31. avatar
    CSTCoach | 17 September 2007 at 8:05 pm #

    spring is coming SK… The Great Orb will restore a bit of hope, a bit of optimism, that profound joy and wonder at the world…

    Going on the road always helps me with feelings like that. Not that you necessarily need or want help with them! Better to experience them deeply, but not to hold on to it.

    enjoying the last few days observations.

    ryan

  32. avatar
    Kamahl | 17 September 2007 at 9:32 pm #

    why are people so unkind?

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 9:46 pm #

    Sweet SK,i do hope that you are feeling happiness and peace,and love today…tis heartbreaking to hear you sad n frustrated..but i must say,i know how you feel..”birdpoo on the cockpit windsheild really sucks,but ya just gotta pray for rain to wash it off.being a being of deep heart,rain is always going to be present.we can be thankful that whilst a hinderance,it does wash clean the windshield”{a from the hip “gen-izm” for this morning}..a camel can accomodate a lotta straws,but sometimes the straws arent just heavy,they are sharp..this too,soon shall pass!!!…hope the sun is shining over you Steve!..a lovely day to yoooo…love,as always,gen x xxxxx x

  34. avatar
    "sentin" the buzzz camel clown | 17 September 2007 at 10:01 pm #

    one hump,or two? :-)?

  35. avatar
    The Buzz Beaver | 17 September 2007 at 10:47 pm #

    Too much buzz? Now you come down big boy. Take more buzz! You be happy soon!

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:02 pm #

    I haven’t been here for a couple of days….my computer at my art studio kept crash crash crashing at your site only!! I’ve missed you and you good commenters!

    Love,

    Art

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:15 pm #

    good morning Miss ARt!…i missed you,as well,dont let it crash baby!..you missed some stuff girl…love to you xxx..gen x

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:27 pm #

    I’m catching up and drawing at once! Thanks for the warm welcome Genx! I’ll try to fix my techincal diffs on my other computer!! I wish you well Steve… some fluers, not so much chocolate, ‘n some excercise/yoga?!?! I also laughed out loud at ‘cha reviewing a-disiacs. Try testing this scent I love: Fig/Olive skin creme. You know what they say about figs…:)

    Art

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 11:32 pm #

    Morning, steven.
    i’m glad when you feel down there is always someone who’s waiting there eagerly to give you a hug and a kiss and a smile. what a lucky man you are!! good luck!

    it’s raining here. good for have a cup of tea. may i have some tea with you, again?

    have a beautiful day. Spring has no brake, it’ll keep going. like time does.

    L

  40. avatar
    Dick Ploog | 17 September 2007 at 11:47 pm #

    That’ll learn ya

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:18 am #

    Art.{.Being slightly,and gushingly OTT darling}.all i can say is …thank every god there ever was,or will ever be,…that you are back!…..is that a face creme?olive is great for the complexion,and fig?yummy…cute story?..my daughter announced to me this morning,from the top of our front fence”mamma!..the mullberry tree is working!”..{its laiden with berries..gonna make a pie!want some?} hope your computer is “working,just as well as our mullberry tree,amd hope that it “plays” nicely for you !..theres a joke in there somewhere,but its probably not very PC!…love you girl!.from one eccentric,to another:-0 ;-)…xxx gen x

  42. avatar
    Thelonious | 18 September 2007 at 12:38 am #

    Hey SK, hope you’re feeling better. It’s funny but your highs always seem the highest & your lows the lowest. Shit you sound dark at the moment. Extremes like that can be hard. Take it easy.

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:53 am #

    sometimes…all you need is some back-up!* X

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 12:57 am #

    Hi sk, I hope you’re feeling happier this morning too, I wonder which Timey Being we’ll be getting today?
    (went to that ‘erb shop yesterday, but NO buzz choccie….life sucks sometimes!)
    Have a beautiful day and hope to hear from you soon shweeetheart.
    Love & happiness to you,
    Princey

  45. avatar
    nickFiction | 18 September 2007 at 1:15 am #

    man do i know that feeling , except you say it way better ……

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 2:08 am #

    Anyone know when the hell / or if the hell the “Live” dvd that bloke in NZ was supposed to be releasing is coming?? if ever??

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 2:21 am #

    Mr.K. we all agree…you are THE BEST!…a smiley blog,monsieur frog..a kiss!…voila!..bring on the happy leaps and feats Keats!…/jb x

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 2:32 am #

    my style…’tis a song in there somewheres.

    perchance a bit dark.

    though thats the way i like it.

    -glynnis

  49. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 2:53 am #

    dammit jim, something wickedy that way went…no need for bag nasties. au revoir.

    Ah Eek, just wait ’till I get some soap on that other Sarah fiend causing that mis-info!! Thanks so much for the correction! I like Ms. Krall and Elvis seems more her type than Ms.Bs’. I’m relieved that it was a ‘rumor’ about Sarah ‘n Elvis C. sigh.

    encore the aphrodisiacs, it’s what Aurora and Aphrodite are about…we can all agree on feeling fine. I’ll talk about it any day, I can make it as correct as ya like; a scent you never realized existed before. The fig ‘n olive oil is a body creme with esscence as subtle and alluring as a spring breeze. Where have I seen this symbol, la figga? It’s everywhere…the halved image- the symbol of ultimate bellissimo. Dream a Church companion of moonlit curves…

    I dunno that we have Mulberry here in the USA?! And yes, I would like to try…;-) What color does it create dear genx? I don’t mind the OTT things, it makes life so sweet. Do you have Marion Berry there?

    Art

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:01 am #

    Glynnis,

    you in favor of melancholy? A touch is alright…little accents, although I think too much can be fatal.

    Art

  51. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:23 am #

    Miss Art…i think you’d find we got all the kinds o berries you’d need or want,here in Oz….mullberries are the deepest purple,almost black..but when you make them into a pie,they turn quite black with a fuscia juice…when you paint with them,the work turns out many shades,from crimson to violet,to eggplant….when you use the berry as a lipstick? it makes the most exquisite deep rose fuscia,and it lasts as a stain for hours..have just been making that pie actually..and how I’d really love to share it with you..it’s a little bit hot though,and let me tell you..when you burn your tongue on hot berries,you dont forget about it!so quickly!!!.{ouch,hee hee!}..;-)) .. love to yooooo!gen xxx

  52. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:25 am #

    Hey Steve!
    I believe, that no matter how many people try to deny it, nobodys life is fine and happy. No matter how rich you are, or comfort you live with. I really hope it makes you feel better, that other people feel the way that you do. I think its great that you convey it so artistically. Your not alone.
    -Allen
    Galveston TX

  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:33 am #

    Genx, you love your cuisine..same here! Mulberry is so like a Marion Berry…color and all! All that hot sugar is sure to burn…maybe some frozen yoggi topping to cool it. Ever try just a tiny bit of 80% chocolate covered crystallized ginger to accent?

    Art

  54. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:35 am #

    That’s true Allen, we’re all mortals. Being a human, I go out of my way to protect from harm.

    Art

  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 4:02 am #

    Art…YUMMMMY!..you ,you,you,…oh,you’re wonderful!..am a bit of a ginger nut as well!howz about sweet potato n saffron soup with a piled big dollop of chilli,shaved coconut, ginger n lime n macadamia salsa..i have a brilliant organic bread shop around the corner from my house,and they make a pumpkin n pepita bread,that’s great to dunk!..I used to work with a canadian lady,and when she’d see the cafe blackboards that i’d created in pastel,she’d say,{phoenetically this is n will interpret}”oh gien,yoourre saow autistic!”…my favourite one {blackboard creation} was entitled”we serve coffee n cake…till the sun sets,the fat lady sings,and the cows come home” ,and i drew a very large lady in a polka dotted dress,playing a guitar and singing,on the back of{riding} a cow,making their way off toward the brilliant n central sunset…was quite a cracker…my best masterpieces are off the cuff!…come on over girl!..i’ll make you dinner,and entertain you til the cowz come home!…love,gen xxx

  56. avatar
    and i wakey to this achey | 18 September 2007 at 1:25 pm #

    Perhaps the two of you can run off and pick from the dingleberry tree together and sprinkle shaved coonut at the wedding.

    More Heyday please. Today’s blog was a very good start.

  57. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 2:15 pm #

    Ha Ha..theres a little bit of Buck______ in this brumby!..the taller the poppy,the more articulate the dog..and its not the dog in the fight..its the fight in the dog! x

  58. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 September 2007 at 3:06 pm #

    very funny @ 11:25. Too bad I don’t show off my angst here.

    Art


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.