posted on January 12, 2011 at 7:42 pm

something i naively hoped could come to pass

something for somebody else sake

some last minute possibility has evaporated

i have to face the facts that stare me in the face

its not gonna happen

there will be more sorrow i guess

thats life

no inspiration to write

i’m just working on letting it go

love

sk

92 Responses to “still i’m sad”

  1. avatar
    Bernadette Keys | 12 January 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    Sober words- am sorry to hear

    letting go no go oh no
    getting low

    music

  2. avatar
    keith23 | 12 January 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    SK,
    It’s the Awful Ache. This too shall pass……………

    love,
    KF

    D sends her love

  3. avatar
    Ingrid | 12 January 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    Hey, gorgeous one, hope we can cheer you up. I felt sad on Sunday (tears n all) but woke up Monday and felt better. Have been feeling better and better so hope you do too.

    Love IngridXXX

  4. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 12 January 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    what you talkin’ bout SK, are you okay??? mary called me crying last week, 3 feathered friends had died and she had a fall and hurt her ribs, she wants me to come out and visit, being me i will visit by just as a friend this space and time around…

  5. avatar
    JigSaw | 12 January 2011 at 8:32 pm #

    so sorry to hear Steve…all the very best mate…

  6. avatar
    Misrule | 12 January 2011 at 8:44 pm #

    This too will pass.

  7. avatar
    mime | 12 January 2011 at 9:05 pm #

    “you were once so happy here”

  8. avatar
    Lisa Lisa | 12 January 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    Thinking of you X

    Lisa Lisa

  9. avatar
    veleska1970 | 12 January 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    i’m very sorry, steve. sending a ton of hugs and love your way.

  10. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 12 January 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    Steve,

    Sorry to hear that, whatever it is I hope the sorrow is brief and you let it go gently. Whatever is staring you in the face we are here for you if needed. Things have a way of working out and maybe at the last second it will come together. Hope that it does.

    Jason

  11. avatar
    Mary MacK | 12 January 2011 at 9:57 pm #

    so sorry to hear that my friend

  12. avatar
    DavidP | 12 January 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    there is great compassion in that hope, such is your love
    I’m sorry the hopes appear dashed and sorry for the somebody elses
    difficult times are of course hard to go through
    hope the difficulties don’t linger too long and things turn out for the best very soon
    all the best with working through it all, meditation and mantras can help
    it is always darkest just before the dawn

  13. avatar
    lisa | 12 January 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    Oh Steve, I’m so sorry. Take your time. We all care about you and we’ll be here when you feel like writing again. Sending lots of love. xo

  14. avatar
    Richard | 12 January 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    things don’t happen

    but things happen

  15. avatar
    Lyndall | 12 January 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    Dear Steve
    Sending you much love and healing energy my dear. I’m sure the universe is making way for bigger, better or more suitable things. For now you take care and do whatever it is you need to do. Thinking of you. Lx

  16. avatar
    xine | 13 January 2011 at 12:06 am #

    Hey u, feelin the sads is ok…..it makes the good days fantastic.
    Keep on keeping busy.
    You have five beauties of love & joy that you have created to watch grow & bloom. Revel in the now……we are all fragile beings.

    It helps to surround yourself with beauty and having a laugh. Believe it; it can be achieved even if your on your own. Try Vipassana Meditation, I achieve it of sorts in my little Melbourne garden…….cheers xine

  17. avatar
    trick of the light | 13 January 2011 at 12:14 am #

    very sorry to hear you so blue SK
    ..the next chapter may be paint a prettier picture

    take care of yourself and stay strong
    x

  18. avatar
    lily was here | 13 January 2011 at 12:16 am #

    thank god for music,dreams,wishes,magic,laughter,friends ‘n future hugs
    love to you sk xoxo

  19. avatar
    Abel | 13 January 2011 at 12:33 am #

    Never loose the faith…

  20. avatar
    cymbal | 13 January 2011 at 12:37 am #

    no happiness without sadness
    no joy without the pain
    the time being bridges the gap
    between linear and circular
    an art form in itself
    not too many can master
    let it go
    take it in
    jumpstart
    crash
    again…

  21. avatar
    bionicanna | 13 January 2011 at 12:45 am #

    bless your heart, and the other one involved

  22. avatar
    SLJ | 13 January 2011 at 1:10 am #

  23. avatar
    Donna | 13 January 2011 at 1:19 am #

    A hug from me from across the miles. Sorry to hear it.

  24. avatar
    jacksprat | 13 January 2011 at 1:49 am #

    Strong thoughts and prayers to you Steve! You are one awesome human being, love your work in all its forms but not referring to that. At the core my friend! Spratty

  25. avatar
    eekie | 13 January 2011 at 2:05 am #

    I’m so sorry.
    Hug.
    love,
    eekie

  26. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 13 January 2011 at 2:08 am #

    SK-

    PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP OR IN !!! Even in the bleakest and darkest of moments, a small ray of light, disguised as hope, will find its way in. It will find a reflective object along its winding path and radiant till it , again, finds another mirror source of reflection and begings to glow so bright that no one can mistake its true essence. Please do not give up on hope. For so many, hope is all we have left. And for you, hope is what I will pray for as I include you, as always, in my grand wishes of a bright new year and life.

    Sadness is a powerful emotion, it will strip you down and expose your core. That sometimes is good. Because deep down, past all the exteriors that we try to emulate, dispense and mask ourselves with, our true being lies there…unprotected…naked…true to one’s self like nothing else imaginable…and maybe there is the answer. Many, over the graces of all time, say that love conquers all. I do believe this only if you know that it is NOT a battle. It is a institution built on everything we hold near and dear to our exposed heart and soul. Wife/Husband, children, family, friends…in that order. Redefine your conscious state to that sequence. Yes, we have the jobs, hobbies, distractions, that throw and rock the boat…sometimes crashing it upon shoreline after shoreline, or sometimes swiftly, so way off course. But if you, or any of us, want to hold on…hold true…hope in its name. We all must prioritize in that order= Wife/Husband, children, family, friends.

    I wish you overflowing fountains of good will, great strength, hope…

    NEVER GIVE UP !!!

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 13 January 2011 at 2:17 am #

      I will not fall into the web or trap that has sprung forth…I will always hold on for…hope.

      We all care for you so deeply, it is beyond your career, your music, writings and such. You have let all of us- over so many years-into your life…yet keeping so many at arms length to stay guarded. Look around you, at the people who fill your rich life. Grab onto them. Let them help you. You have done this in the past, there is no shame in that. History can re-write itself if you allow it to. Please let those who are so close, speak for you. They will know what to do, what needs to be done. Please allow this to happen before sadness evolves into other emotions that may not be suitable for any positive future, for any form of hope… my friend.

      Again…AsAlways

  27. avatar
    cshank | 13 January 2011 at 2:24 am #

    Hey, Steve. Love your blogging. This one definitely has an aura. Keep writing. I’m hoping to see the band in Chicago soon. Anchorage: yes. Wolfe: nice bass work, great tune. Keep writing, man.

  28. avatar
    Tanya | 13 January 2011 at 2:35 am #

    I’m sorry for your sorrow & unfortunately can relate to your sadness with, of course, different circumstances. I do a lot of sitting and staring out the window myself, waiting for energy & inspiration.

    Yeah, your right, gotta let it go, but how?

  29. avatar
    Denise | 13 January 2011 at 2:41 am #

    Seasons come, seasons go, people come, people go, and in the middle of the sadness of change, we realize that our needs were met for a time, and we must evolve, and be open to the new things the universe has waiting for us…. Keep your heart and mind open and let the sunlight of the Spirit comfort you!
    Love and Understanding,
    Denise

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 January 2011 at 2:44 am #

    I’m so sorry and my prayers that whatever it is, everyone will be alright however it comes to pass… they will be okay and it will change and you will be too. I hope this time comes soft.

  31. avatar
    aisatsu | 13 January 2011 at 3:15 am #

    My sister is coming to stay with me soon. We’ve been trying to find some moments of just she and me for the last couple of years, but there are always intrusions. Never fails. One of the few adventures we managed to have together before life got complicated was a fiendish mad dash to see the band. All sorts of weirnesses happened at that show (and on the ways to and from), so it’s still something we laugh about. On the non-agenda agenda – me catching her up on your music. I’m so looking forward to that. For the people who hold The Church dear, it’s always a particular thrill when someone asks you to share more music with them. Just imagining the house playlist is giving me that tingly teenaged mixtape feel. (This yes. This no. That. Oh, definitely THAT. AND THAT!) S’very good.

    Thank you for doing what you do. Be well.

  32. avatar
    aisatsu | 13 January 2011 at 3:32 am #

    I’ll scratch your name on the green candle already burning here. It came wrapped in leaves and smells of rosemary.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 January 2011 at 3:43 am #

    you seem so sad… just to let you know, sometimes without knowing even, our own actions help inspire others — you did me. I was overly burdened and bored with something in my own head for a long time – just stuck; I accidentally came upon your blog and started reading it almost a year ago — and all of these beautiful thoughts started coming back to me. I’ve been able to work without letup since and have a book half finished and even write other stuff everyday… and will never stop again. I am certain had it not been for the timebeing, I wouldn’t be as far along. It’s a voice I get to read almost every day that gives me hope with all your possibilites and your wide open mind that never seems to stagnate. I’m sure you won’t ever stagnate; I just know that is true. So all I can pray for is that you soon find inspiration again once whatever it is settles… you gave that same to me.

    so thank you Sir

  34. avatar
    Lisa | 13 January 2011 at 4:29 am #

    This breaks my heart Steve. I didn’t comment on the post that never was because I simply couldn’t. It seems like anything I would have to say would not be good enough. So I will just say this: Know that we are here for you, if only virtual, to offer our love and support. I wish I could give you a big hug and make it all better….

  35. avatar
    Once | 13 January 2011 at 4:42 am #

    Odd, last night I spoke to an old friend in Michigan. He’s been being treated for cancer for the past year…it’s not going away. And his wife cheated on him. **sigh** Had a simultaneous smoke and a long conversation (hence the nonsensical Echo comments later).

    I love this guy, and I hate being powerless.

    Though I wouldn’t really trust myself with that kind of power. Guess it’s up to ((insert preferred deity, or “fate” if aetheist, here)).

    The hardest part of life is witnessing the suffering of others. Nothing happens to me that I can’t handle eventually. I just drift around feeling guilty.

    Hope it gets better.

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 January 2011 at 5:10 am #

    She is not coming back?

  37. avatar
    Lara | 13 January 2011 at 5:29 am #

    Sorry to hear it, SK.

  38. avatar
    davem | 13 January 2011 at 5:33 am #

    I’m so sorry to read this.
    xx

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 January 2011 at 6:44 am #

    i do love you steve kilbey im sorry your sad

  40. avatar
    Ellen | 13 January 2011 at 6:54 am #

    Aww, Steve, I’m so sorry you’re in much pain right now.

    2010 was a rough year for me as I finally (with great sorrow and pain) left my husband (I spare you the boring details). It was something I definitely didn’t want to face … sigh … but reality is going to be there whether we like it or not. Sometimes the only left to do is let go…

    Recently, I’ve been reciting the well-known prayer:

    Lord, grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    Sending you some warm hugs, and as cliche as it is, hang in there, it WILL get better.

  41. avatar
    Cecilia | 13 January 2011 at 7:15 am #

    Mil abrazos!

  42. avatar
    andy | 13 January 2011 at 8:46 am #

    i chose the easy path, and iv’e given the world too little too late.
    your’e so much braver than i.
    and thats why i admire you so……
    you took the risks.
    keep the faith stevo, there’s more love for you than even you can possibly imagine.
    you register on a cosmic scale mate….i truly believe this.

    your sadness just busts me up inside.

  43. avatar
    nic | 13 January 2011 at 9:30 am #

    Dearest beautiful Steve,
    your pain and sorrow is so heartbreaking to read … and so is the feeling that we can’t actually ‘do’ anything to help …
    I hope that at the very least there is some comfort in knowing that your loyal regular folk here do geniunely care for you … and send love, encouragement, positive vibes, courage and healing wishes to you every day …
    may you surround yourself with geniune loved ones/friends who can be a physical and emotional pillar of support in your time of need … and may you also find strength and healing in times of your solitude …

    warmest and sincerest regards and cyber hugs,
    Nic xxxxxxx

  44. avatar
    Karen | 13 January 2011 at 10:33 am #

    Its so hard to know what to say & Im not 100% sure why your feeling sad could be a number of things

    but I can feel it & I understand it any peron with any empathy could

    Being human & loving others will always bring sadness it not fair .. just have to remember the joy and and great times you share with those people you love.

    Jesus even watching thoe people In Queenland with the floods suffering with the loss of loved ones and homes possesions brings tears to my eyes.
    God knows we all undertand that you wouldnt feel like writing anything at this time

    take care xx

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 13 January 2011 at 10:47 am #

      my heart goes out to the queenslanders who have lost lives and houses too karen

      life is hard
      some idiot once sang
      theres a whole lotta hurt before you get to the bliss

      one would have to agree

      • avatar
        hellbound heart | 13 January 2011 at 7:59 pm #

        you got that right, mate……wasn’t meant to be easy, was it?

  45. avatar
    Karen | 13 January 2011 at 10:35 am #

    my s key playing up excuse the absent s’s

  46. avatar
    cymbal | 13 January 2011 at 11:05 am #

    sinatra was so cosmic
    like i heard it in another time
    even though the sadness
    such rhythm and rhyme
    nostalgic so we listen
    it’s all so perfect and fine
    parallel dimensions beckon us, right?
    to look a little closer with pure eyes
    mix me with another tonic
    i’m a hook at the end of the line
    take me elsewhere where life is sublime
    where les is more and more is mine…

  47. avatar
    Brian Smith | 13 January 2011 at 11:20 am #

    Oh no, Steve, I hope whatever it is was soon be a memory and something good will come up to take its place. You’ve had too much hurt already, I hope the bliss comes a’knockin’ soon.

  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 January 2011 at 1:35 pm #

    Peace and strength be with you. Good thoughts sent your way from California.

  49. avatar
    Cocoamo | 13 January 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    You so generously lay your joys and woes before us like a feast–a feast we devour with laughter and tears. Somehow, knowing the depths of your noble heart makes it easier for each of us to bear the pains we inevitably suffer ourselves.

    And you and I will live and die as life goes on and time goes by.

    Truly, the goodness in me bows to the goodness in you.

    Your Friend in Pennsylvania
    (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  50. avatar
    nickfiction | 13 January 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    it will take years to get through this …sorry cant see you stateside……

  51. avatar
    Lady Di | 13 January 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    I feel so sad for you sk
    Hope you feel better soon

    Love Di

  52. avatar
    BigSmilesKate | 13 January 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    Hey SK,

    Yep that “idiot” is right, “a whole lot of hurt before you get to the bliss. Even Jesus Christ was betrayed by a kiss But that was long before that he got in show biz.” You obviously held some hope – all the more poignant for that, and it’s so very sad that you have lost it. My thoughts are with you especially for the others. I trust you will do all you can for the greater good.
    No smiles today
    Tears in my eyes
    Love
    Kate
    xoxo

  53. avatar
    stealth blue | 13 January 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    Oh Brother Steve,

    I do hope everything is fine somehow…whatever it is. One can only speculate, but it doesn’t really matter exactly. All I know is that I (like everyone here) hate to see you down, regardless of what is really at stake. Life is is such a bitch sometimes. I know. So, whatever is going on, whether or not you care to share, we’re just here…

    Not sure what else to say, except as a fellow soul, human, Earthling, Virgo, musician, husband, son, brother, caretaker, etc., I care very deeply for you and your life and family, as you are a huge part of my life, and I just wish you the best…always, but especially when you’re feeling “low”. I know you feel the love coming in from all over this li’l marble we call home. I just hope some of it really sinks in. You are heaven sent to inspire, and nurture our souls, minds, and hearts. So, even if a little bit seeps into that deep mind and heart and spirit of yours…then at least we are doing our part. Please stay strong somehow, and KNOW that many really do care.

    Anyway, dear friend, I send you lots of love and respect from across the cyber miles…

    Ben
    Very Sincerely

    • avatar
      stealth blue | 14 January 2011 at 9:05 am #

      Hi Steve,

      Just so you know… I meant this intro as in “You are my brother”, not like “OH brOTHER, steve” (as in “Gimme a BREAK”!) LOL! Sorry if it came across weird. I just re-read what I said, and thought to myself, that may have come across the wrong way!! Whoops! Hey, not bad for not enough sleep these days. Think I’m burning the rope at both ends, maybe even the middle too. These days life is very stressful and kinda sad too for a lot of reasons. We must “keep on keepin’ on”, as “they” say. Anyway, you know I think you’re “the bee’s knees”…

      Lots o’ Peace & Love,

      B 🙂

  54. avatar
    Shoffy | 13 January 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    Steve, we are all sad about something, its just the level of sadness that changes. Looks like you got a lot of support and well wishes today. I wish you well mate and hope you get through it. Shoffy

  55. avatar
    esne snoner | 13 January 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    and here’s me selfishly thinking of the incredible creativity that will burst forth from this event – i remember the time it happened to me and amongst the misery the actual realisation of what all those books, songs and films were about and what those words, lyrics and images were attesting to – now i can only imagine having the resources to turn your current feelings into something tangible – wallow in your despair sk and then strike forth

  56. avatar
    david | 13 January 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    steve kilbey.. sleep ..not too much ..but rest ..eat well…seems sadness has a way of making itself comfortable…i hate that ..gotta shake it up..not too hard ..but shake it..

  57. avatar
    Andreas | 13 January 2011 at 6:37 pm #

    SK, I am at a loss for words…
    Sending you my warmest vibes,
    Andreas
    Genoa/Italy

  58. avatar
    Melissa | 13 January 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    Steve, just a couple nights ago I heard someone say on the telly or somethin’ ..

    ‘I believe because it’s not impossible’

    I thought that’s probably the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. 🙂 It’s hard, but whatever horrible thing is happening at the moment, it’ll have it’s time and eventually pass. It’s ok to let go and then when you’re ready, you can start over again.

    Much love and hugs
    xxxx

  59. avatar
    Kate Marie | 13 January 2011 at 7:15 pm #

    I hope your family and friends are safe from the floods, mud, and other dangers (crocodiles, apparently!)

  60. avatar
    Starflower | 13 January 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    Have been away in Queensland Steve and missed a lot of blogs. We’re almost with you in your sadness. Some good must come out of all this….even the floods, some good will come out.
    My beautiful Mum, Gladys, passed into the spiritual world on New Year’s Eve 4.26am. My sister Suzanne and I spent the last three days keeping a bedside vigil. There was an amazing aura around her and it was a very sacred experience. Nothing to be afraid of……she was accepting of death, very peaceful with it all and then she was gone…..all I could feel was her joy at escaping her body, which was doing her no favours. Incredible joy…..I’m still blown away by it all. Went outside to a midnight blue sky, with a quarter waning moon, and a bright venus sparkling below.
    When I got home, I played Time to Say Goodbye from dabble.
    Thank you Steve for all that you do……I love what you do.
    Love always,
    Starly x x x

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 14 January 2011 at 7:22 am #

      my dear starly
      sympathy at losing your mum gladys
      sounds like a nice way to go
      all my love
      sk

      • avatar
        Starflower | 14 January 2011 at 12:39 pm #

        Thanks so much Steve. Blessings to you
        and all that are dear to you.
        Love,
        Starly x x x

    • avatar
      stealth blue | 14 January 2011 at 8:57 am #

      Hi Starflower,

      Love your name, btw. So sorry to hear about your recent loss of your mum. I have to say…you have a beautiful outlook. May she rest well and watch over you all…
      Peace,

      Ben V.

      • avatar
        Starflower | 14 January 2011 at 12:50 pm #

        Hi Ben,
        Thank you so much for your kind words.
        It’s so lovely to share and get feedback.
        Peace be with you,
        Starly

    • avatar
      eekie | 14 January 2011 at 3:49 pm #

      My condolences also.

      Time To Say Goodbye was the last song to play as I drove to the hospital to disconnect my mother’s life support. Listened to After Everything Now This on the way home. The music really helped.

      • avatar
        Starflower | 15 January 2011 at 4:23 pm #

        Thanks so much eekie. Condolences to you too. Yes the music……the right music, always helps.

  61. avatar
    hellbound heart | 13 January 2011 at 8:00 pm #

    oh man if i could do anything to make you feel better i would……my love and wishes for you to find the light again are with you……

    love always and always and always…..

  62. avatar
    sarah | 13 January 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    i can relate. there is a likeness of circumstance in me last few days. its both disappointing and an utter display of my deep naivety. i need to seriously “face the facts that are staring me in the face.” I have thought that exact thing for two days. other times feels like someone is eating my heart with a spoon like it is some warm exotic dessert. I had no idea longing and repulsion could exist within one emotion. that seems like some bizarre art piece not a human emotion. yet here it is and i am burning with it. what on earth is that emotion called anyway? it has to have its own name. its very complex. but i hope it passes soon. it even wakes me up AS IF i didn’t give it enough attention when the sun was out. extremely needy little fuck of an emotion. I hope it washes out soon….i know it is trying too. i think “it” lets go of us. i don’t think we let go of “it”. otherwise the letting go would already have been long gone.

  63. avatar
    Christina | 13 January 2011 at 9:53 pm #

    Ah, desolation and despair….I know them well.
    So easy to envelope one’s self in bleak hopelessness.
    R

  64. avatar
    Christina | 13 January 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    Ah, desolation and despair….I know them well.
    So easy to envelope one’s self in bleak hopelessness.
    Really hope it doesn’t drag you down too far, Steve.

    My heart goes out to all those affected by the floods, especially the countless family pets,livestock and other animals who died in the floods, or wander through the wreckage, lost and confused, desperately searching for their owners.

  65. avatar
    Richard | 13 January 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    Have you heard “Two Step” by the Throwing Muses?

    (don’t worry, I’m sticking to the rules – this is ultimately about you)

    I really listened to it for the first time the other night

    even though I’ve had the album for twenty years

    and have discovered that I really like it

    it’s not quite right

    (the mix maybe? – not my area)

    but there’s still something special going on

    in the guitars, the drums

    and the lyrics

    .
    Two step
    Behind the rest

    One fingertip too long

    A hole

    A hole in the box they carry
    Pours sugar in the road

    Pours dimes in diamond jim
    Two months to fill him in
    A hole
    .

    There’s lot I like about it in the way I like your stuff

    It’s puzzling, sad and beautiful

    and just a tiny bit raw and imperfect

    which means that it’s real

  66. avatar
    Brian Ison | 14 January 2011 at 3:48 am #

    Steve, sorry to hear you’re going through some emotional lows. I hope whatever is going on will improve.

    My thoughts are with you.
    B

  67. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 January 2011 at 4:50 am #

    God speed, good luck and use this time to meditate on what you have to be thankful in your life.

  68. avatar
    c p | 14 January 2011 at 6:02 am #

    forgiving the unforgivable
    it’s the hardest …, but … not unconceivable
    (but hard, trust me)

    w/o any further ado – if i may say so

    anyway, luv’ as always 2 u, Mr. K.
    Bon courage!
    C P (sorry, i dislike retraceability)

  69. avatar
    Mike | 14 January 2011 at 7:34 am #

    Hey Steve, I’m feeling similar feelings probably for different reasons 2010 was a hard year. It’s your music that gets me thru and brings me back (it’s been heaven sent whether I’m in sadness or bliss). Can’t wait to see your SF show. Feel better mate, every door you’ve opened for all of us one day in time in space we will open for you. What comes around goes around.

  70. avatar
    lloyd | 14 January 2011 at 8:03 am #

    Steve,
    I don’t have words so I’ll use the words of our friend Jeffrey Cain:
    ‎”And the age of fear is over/It’s time to lose that sad disguise/And all the pain I’d felt inside/It wasn’t even mine”
    -“The Age Of Fear”

    Hoping the best for you,
    Lloyd

  71. avatar
    Steven Krut | 14 January 2011 at 8:47 am #

    I hate that you’re having such a bad experience, Steve. I hope things start breaking your way soon.

    Here’s a dancing parrot in a lame attempt to put a smile on your face:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bt9xBuGWgw&feature=related

  72. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 14 January 2011 at 11:27 am #

    I don’t have any idea whats up with SK but I hope he feels better. As for me when I learned slaughterhouses existed I knew the human race was an insane disgrace to God and that we lived in an evil world. People come and go and there is very little human loyalty. Dogs, cats and other companion animals rule because they are unconditionally loyal and they don’t care who you are as long as you treat them well. There are some good humans but they are a minority. Some belong to this blog !!

    A few days ago a million, intelligent and sensitive pigs were buried alive in South Korea to traumatically die. That’s monstrous, ungodly, irreverent and unpardonably inhumane. Malevolent reprobates !!

    • avatar
      Anonymous | 14 January 2011 at 10:14 pm #

      Brien…I so,so understand your words!!!Me been veg for 34yrs now.See no reason not to be,and every reason to be veg.Especially in this day and age.
      Talking of slaughterhouses,last week when camping in a country town I lay down to go to sleep and heard a funny noise in the distance.At first i thought it was drag racing or something but then realised it was a herd of cows mooing frantically,desperately.I remembered there was a slaughterhouse on the outskirts of town and realised the cows were penned up ready for the next morning, and no doubt being well aware of what was happening.Probably had already witnessed part of their family being “processed” that day.I couldn’t get a wink of sleep as the cows mooood non stop and I was really haunted by it.All I wanted to do was to give them their freedom,a fair life.Help them escape yet another phase of torture in their life.
      Cows have the sweetest nature and most gorgeous eyes.
      Anyways looks like the pendulum of mother nature is swinging us humans flying….life=change!

      • avatar
        Cocoamo | 16 January 2011 at 12:32 pm #

        Bless you both (and SK) for having the courage of your convictions. Sometimes, when I think about how many people chose to be in denial about the consequences of eating meat, and some who even admit the horrors and just don’t care, I really don’t want to live anymore. People like you help me to keep on. Thank you.

        Your friend in Pennsylvania
        (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  73. avatar
    Once | 14 January 2011 at 12:51 pm #

    And here’s the dream I had last night. Gave me hope. Guess my subconscious knows more than I do.

    NEXT STOP HEAVEN

    So we’re all floating down a hotel hall
    Singing “Let’s Go Thundering”, Robyn Hitchcock
    Don’t know why, but we’re in unison, and it feels good
    Floating upward, and we’re in the dark, a spiral rising to parts unknown
    A voice says, how long is this going to take
    I think eternity
    Then we’re in a room with video screens
    Orientation?
    Different people, in black and white, speaking in turn
    Base humor, some get it and some don’t
    My friend appears in one, looking out at us in confusion
    Get out! I scream, flying at the screen
    Straight through it
    No breaking glass, it’s easy
    And we’re floating upward again, inside an enormous cylinder
    There are people here, floating faces and hands with long nails
    Plastic ones, that tear off as we cut through the wind
    I hear guitars, opening strains of songs I cannot pin down
    Should have learned to play that, why didn’t I, I was right there
    I sing them instead, letting them flow, even if they’re wrong
    Sounds beautiful
    I’m looking for my friend, how do you find someone here, anyway?
    Just think of them, and scream
    I fall to earth with a thud,
    Because she’s alive
    Landing in gravel, crawling
    Realizing I can feel again
    I’d rather be floating
    (Thundering)
    But I’m not ready for that yet
    Here for the living
    Despite who I am
    Despite who I am not.

    • avatar
      Jonny Hollywood | 14 January 2011 at 5:43 pm #

      that dream reminds me of the movie “Shocker” when he jumps from tv screen to tv screen, anyone remember that film???

      • avatar
        Once | 15 January 2011 at 4:10 pm #

        No, but now that you mention it, I think there was a scene like that in Nightmare on Elm Street!!

        Welcome to Triteville. Population – ME.

  74. avatar
    kell | 14 January 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    How do you know the opportunity won’t come again? If the pull is strong enough, it will happen. Nothing & nobody will keep it apart.

    Maybe next lifetime. Maybe after 2012. Or sooner.

    I want it now. Don’t we all?

    “Time to cool my heels….in something i believe in i guess.”

    YES!!!

    Truly go after this. Does it lead to “the person” you’re thinking about or not? If not ~ protect yourself. Cut it away from yerself.

    If yes ~ it will happen. It will.

    This soul union.

    Particularly if they want the same thing.

    You’re not naive. You’re tuned in.

    What do YOU believe in?

    It’s hard when servers crash, & communications can’t be made (as what happened 4 me on Wed 12).

    It’s just the dark makin’ things hard. But the Light wins this game.
    It’s all just playing itself out.

    Bondi is such a beautiful, beautiful place. People in Sydney are wonderful ~ you’re already in one of the levels of Heaven there. People basking in your aura.
    Whatareya worried about?

    I found a green cool celtic heaven in the middle of summer. A miracle land, just right for me. But couldn’t stay.

    If it’s in the Highest Good, i’ll get back there. If it’s in the Highest Good, you & other will come together.

    You will. You must.

    Bet you’re in the upslide already, Moon in Taurus ‘n all.

    Best love to you Bright Soul.

    Oh so bright!

  75. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 14 January 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    hey SK, you don’t sound that good, you okay Killer??? me loves you long time…lol

  76. avatar
    eekie | 14 January 2011 at 7:05 pm #

    Given what you describe, Steve, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t sad.

  77. avatar
    redgrevillea | 14 January 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    All the best to you, Steve, much respect, rb

  78. avatar
    Michelle Roach | 14 January 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    Hello Steve.I always read your blogs but rarely comment.Not good with words.So much pain in my beautiful land,Australia at this time.Pray you can feel some love & happiness soon.Love Michelle & family.XX [Sydney].


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