posted on September 15, 2010 at 11:01 pm

wall st even

struggling with life a bit

conscience and all that jazz

i waste my time pontificating

i endure idle indecision

come to an awful fork in the road

dont wanna choose but journey must go on

it cannot stop for long something must therefore give

life is like music

containing an admixture of feelings soul and reason

life’ll bring you to yer knees until you not thinking straight

music ‘ll bring ya to yer knees but you dont wanna think straight

i have all these words at my disposal

but that doesnt mean i’m getting through

some sadnesses are hard to work into songs

some gloom that cant be harnessed n trotted out

a good song for someone else but not me

everyones songs are coming true

i’m living all these songs by the dayload

hard to write a song if you living in a song

hard to paint naive when you feel so weary n cynical

hard to write if you feel wrong

hard to right if you feel left

hard to handle too

trapped in a verse going back round to the opening words

ive had that happen all the time

a double chorus in a different key

a future in a different time signature

a spirit voice chopped and inserted on the bridge

beginning wonder what the middle ate

songs in exile songs in pain

songs in memory sweet again

somewhere theyre playing our song baby

our song remember that

echoes round coldwater flat

F# minor

yeah i sang my girl to sleep

strumming quietly through afternoons totally forgotten

almost inaudible around this world

like a womb the night was all around

i longed for that night which never comes

i wrote songs to talk to myself

to bridge the gap between inner n outer me

i wanted my baby to feel loved

so i sang her all our endings

we will lose each other somewhere eventually i said

it was warm that day

i had a black guitar

the whole world seemed adolescent

she was sleeping gently now

my black guitar was guiding her through realms of slumber

her dreams would be nice

my chord sequence would insure that

i start to pick up a rhythm

yeah but that day is long gone now long long gone

my black guitar was stolen in metropolis

i wonder whose playing it now and i feel jealous

guitars are like sweethearts

you can always get another but it may not be the same

i dunno what i mean

songs are easier to write than digging with a spade

music is like life

it can change suddenly

it can end real soon

it speeds up

it fades away

it ends in silence

bands break up

sweethearts break up

eventually guitars break up i guess

everything put together must come apart

some element will abrade or corrode it

some unforeseen friction will wear it down

your breadwinner gets toasted

harping on about lyres

plucking your eye-pods

i get confused just opening the score

all those players fucking playing

those cats man fishing for birdies

that devils music that old black magic

being pulled apart here

my record is scratched

my grooves are jumping

my disc is warped

my needle is worn

my belt is slipping

my woofer is blown

more grief coming atcha

blues in the night indeed

warm afternoons into shiny cold night

which tries to spit you out

still you have to do what you have to do

the best song

the best life

the best blah blah blah

yeah

if that’ll do

23 Responses to “struggle”

  1. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 15 September 2010 at 11:34 pm #

    Stolen in Metropolis !!!! Man that really must have sucked-just the anger at that time and when u have to relive it thru memory jolts and bolts-must feel agonizing. I have 3 gorgeous black guitars, they are my mistresses. sweet Fender my acoustic, Blazing Kramer Mrs. V … my shredder, and She-Warlock(last americana made eons ago)…my temptress-she can melt the sky and all that drift by as she sings with sustain and reverb. Guitars are souls…i am so sorry one of urs was take (long?) ago.
    I know that kick starting creativity some times can be as exhausting as the procedures themselves, i have been painting- started up again from 20+ years ago (u kinda inspired it , along with my 2 1/2 year olds finger painting adventures). My family and surrounding heartbeats- elate me with complements of my recent work, hurrah they say. I dont know if they are just saying that because they paid in advance. I enjoy it though…wish i had more time to paint each day.

    Anyways-
    plug in, strap on, ink to paper, paint to canvas…the media of ur choice…close those eyes and hit it. before long the energy needed will joyfully return and the world will behold another brilliant creation…from THETIMEBEING !!!!

    Have a great day !!!!

    AsAlways,
    BrokenToysAndHeros
    Darrin K.

  2. avatar
    Freddie | 16 September 2010 at 12:18 am #

    Oh how I dislike slumps and as usual you express it eloquently and beautifully, I can certainly feel your pain. It’s a hard one to comment.

  3. avatar
    eekie | 16 September 2010 at 12:25 am #

    Yeah, some days (weeks, months, years…decades…) it really is, isn’t it?
    Sigh.
    Hope life gets feeling better for you soon.
    Big hug.
    Love,
    eekie

  4. avatar
    JW | 16 September 2010 at 12:57 am #

    I definitely grok the idea of writing songs that talk to Oneself. The Message changes over time too; especially with the really great downloads. ‘Disappear’ is one of my all time favorite songs btw. Don’t forget the milk white electric and the unfolding layers on the road behind and ahead.

  5. avatar
    Steven Krut | 16 September 2010 at 1:51 am #

    Oh, Steve, I am so sorry you are having a bad time. Sometimes a bad thing opens a door to a good thing down the road that couldn’t have happened otherwise, but I know that’s no comfort in the present. When I get depressed about my life, I think about my college roommate who was a hilarious, ball of energy kind of guy. Went to his classes and back on a skateboard doing tricks that drew crowds. A real magical, beautiful person. Worked his butt off to set himself up for a successful career and life. He died in a car accident a few months after graduation. His fate always reminds me that even at its worst life a gift. It’s all gravy.

  6. avatar
    Ellen | 16 September 2010 at 3:32 am #

    Such a bluesy blog today, Steve. Sounds like you’re definitely going something quite deep and I sense what it is…

    I’m going through a rough patch this year, but I keep telling myself “blessed men (and women) go through…” and there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing lasts. Everything changes, blah, blah, blah.

    Sending you support from LA. Speaking of which, I DO hope The Church will play in LA again. I really do appreciate your willingness to hurl yourself half-way around the world to play for your fans out here.

    Blessings to you.

  7. avatar
    andy | 16 September 2010 at 5:36 am #

    wish i could fix things up for ya……
    we just stumble along leaving a mess behind us don’t we?
    i guess it’s the human condition.

    keep scrabbling for the light mate.
    youv’e got a fuckin’ good heart kilbey,
    …the real measure of a man by my reckoning.

  8. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 16 September 2010 at 6:02 am #

    if we didn’t have music to help us make it through life, we be dead…

    • avatar
      BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 16 September 2010 at 7:17 am #

      That is one straight forward, bold statement !!!! Jonny tells it like it is and should be- BOLD…DIRECT…DONE !!!!

      Awesome Jonny-hope all is well with ur state of mind-well wishes from me to u. Music is the awe inspiring beauty, energy, definition of life itself.

      AsAlways,
      BrokenToysAndHeros
      Darrin K.

  9. avatar
    davem | 16 September 2010 at 6:22 am #

    I just wish you happiness.
    By the way, Disappear is one of my faves. I know it was described as “a black hole of a song” in your bio, but I love it. Ugliness you have to learn, but beauty you can’t teach.
    God bless you.
    x

  10. avatar
    robertmadore | 16 September 2010 at 7:01 am #

    There’s this supposed pop star called Lady Gaga who wore a “meat dress” to some event recently. What’d ya say you, me and Chrissie go nail her to the Hollywood sign “Jesus-style”!

    • avatar
      Name | 16 September 2010 at 3:17 pm #

      But she would like that and adopt simulations into her “shows” and the media and the children(!) and the displays of reprints in every line you must wait where you stay as quietly polite as possible so as not to add further attention … I hate to be a worry wart, but! Oh, you were only kidding.

  11. avatar
    cazziem | 16 September 2010 at 7:18 am #

    I’m with Steve Krut on this one SK. Something ALWAYS transpires from something bad. Not always immediately, but in time it will come good again. As I’ve said many times, we have to endure bad times to know when we’re experiencing good times. I think the trick is to appreciate the good times, so when the bad ones come along you can remember a happier time, then focus and plan for the next good phase.

  12. avatar
    Name | 16 September 2010 at 7:38 am #

    “As if” happens when you least expect it, but only (or best… I believe) after you’ve been chambered in by walls… it’s the motion of breaking them down (God, it hurts so much sometimes) that brings back the “if” — you know how many people live without “if”? That’s like giving up the tale that could conquer all. So, if sometimes is all there is to hope for, but that’s okay — that if is music in it’s infant stage.

    I am certain you know all of this — just thoughts as reading.

  13. avatar
    Todd | 16 September 2010 at 9:53 am #

    I liked your blog very much today, Steve and felt I could relate.

    I hope your play makes it to Melbourne.

    All the best.

  14. avatar
    BigSmilesKate | 16 September 2010 at 10:07 am #

    Hey Sk,
    I hear you. It’s all hills and valleys and sometimes you just don’t feel up to surmounting another obstacle. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Being able to write it out is invaluable.

    Ah to be strummed to sleep by you….

    BSK
    xo

  15. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 16 September 2010 at 10:13 am #

    A very belated plaudits for the 56 year anniversary of your inception on planet earth. You have enthralled millions via being a paragon of multi-faceted virtuosity.

  16. avatar
    princey | 16 September 2010 at 10:37 am #

    Hi sk, it’s hard reading blogs like this, knowing you’re feeling so much pain and sadness, it’s heartbreaking 🙁 Like Freddie said, its hard to comment, but PLEASE, don’t give up too soon ok. I hope there’s light at the end of that tunnel sk.
    lots of love,
    Amanda

  17. avatar
    Donna | 16 September 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    A fork in the road. Sounds like a difficult choice has to be made, and I pray you make the right one. Guitars or sweethearts…it all seems sad to me. I hope you’ll always be able to recover both.

  18. avatar
    hellbound heart | 16 September 2010 at 8:33 pm #

    christ, ain’t that the truth….life has its peaks and troughs…but damn, music seems to have a real part in helping me get through things…..blessings to you, steve….

    love always…..

  19. avatar
    Melissa | 16 September 2010 at 9:37 pm #

    it’s strange, that photo from yesterday’s blog music:music made me feel so sad 🙁 I hope too, that thing’s get much much better for you soon.

    I hope you had a beautiful birthday though … sending you lots of good wishes :)) Looking forward to this upcoming sk and ricky show in Melb’s too .. sounds awesome!!!

    take care Steve, we all loves ya :)) xx

  20. avatar
    Wilfred Paradise | 16 September 2010 at 9:46 pm #

    Steve – too much time to think – bring the Church back to the States – we’ll show you a good time – fat red maters and long green cukes – and new orleans and jazz – come on, come on back – we’ll even clap out loud -Wilfred P

  21. avatar
    DavidP | 17 September 2010 at 12:34 am #

    wisdom has a cost i guess
    sometimes we go through difficult times
    but it can be full of learning if we are watching
    and be just the thing we needed in order to really learn
    it all adds to our wisdom and understanding
    they say patience is a virtue
    some assertiveness is good too where appropriate
    tricky to get the right balance of those two
    watch and pray
    this time will pass
    best wishes Steve


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