posted on June 27, 2010 at 8:40 am

i have changed
i have thrown off my last shackle
which was holding me down
which was dulling my senses
i am clear i am calm
i know now what i am here to do
i am growing younger by the minute
the hours pass peacefully
i want for nothing
my luck has changed
my mood has improved
i see the wonder
i hear the beauty
i entertain the possibilities
i exist in all dimensions
no longer impatient
no longer exasperated
aware exactly of who i am
i see through lies
i see through fakes and frauds
i appreciate the sheer beauty of life
my children amaze me
the future stretches out before me
and i want to fill it with music and paintings and words
invitations pouring in thick and fast
i stuck to my guns
i guess this is the reward for authenticity
i will prevail eventually
my good self will prevail over my bad self
i have some dear and lovely friends
like jeffrey cain who arrives on tuesday armed with beautiful music
i am immersed in my work and The Work
i am convinced things will turn out well for me
i am finally back on the path where i shoulda been
the path my own path
a path no one else could ever tread
i have to do things the hard way that is my path
but i always learn…eventually…
i will learn to master myself
i will learn to get all this art and music out of my head
and out of the void
and lay it on you all for as long as i can
because…well…who else can…?
i am content with my contradictions
they make me who i am
i will strive for excellence from now on
i will not flinch from personal sacrifice to create for you
i dive deep and i soar high
it is enough
i can wait and wait and wait
i remember everything from the past
my intuition is thawing
my heart is open
my head is no longer dead
i wish for no material thing
i desire no woman
i need no man
i am self sufficient
from here on out
let no stupid thing disturb me
do what you like
say what you like
write what you like
i am steve kilbey the time being
its sunday evening
everything is ok

48 Responses to “sunday evening”

  1. avatar
    eek | 27 June 2010 at 9:24 am #

    You are.
    You have.
    You will.

    I'm so very proud of and pleased for you.

  2. avatar
    davem | 27 June 2010 at 9:29 am #

    That was uplifting.
    So many of us believe in you and all that you do.

  3. avatar
    eek | 27 June 2010 at 9:36 am #

    Cool photo too. Love the lamp!

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 9:51 am #

    "I will learn to master myself"

    When you figure that one out Steve please write a book. Man has been trying that one for thousands of years. Ben Franklin kept a self mastery diary for a few months and then promptly gave up as futile. Ahhhh, the ego of humans! I am reminded of Quote by Taisen Deshimaru "If you are not happy here and now, you never will be."
    So easy to say so hard to live.

    Cheers, Delbert McDooright

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 9:56 am #

    does the last bit mean you are going to do away with the censorship and let your fans interact in real time? i see your point in the matter, but jesus it was more fun commenting in the past, even if a few dickheads did kamikaze missions in the past

  6. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 27 June 2010 at 10:01 am #

    I just listened to The Broken Sea off the forthcoming Kilbey/Kennedy release, and it is stunning. I love the Air-like synth sounds. And the acoustic guitar, which brings to mind one of my favorite The Church songs, Disappointment.

  7. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 27 June 2010 at 10:02 am #

    i don't think i could top that!! <3

    love always….

  8. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 27 June 2010 at 10:08 am #

    Come to think of it, the synth sounds probably owe more to the Pink Floyd's Echoes than Air.

  9. avatar
    princey | 27 June 2010 at 10:44 am #

    Bravo sk, good to hear, I'll be stickin' around til the end of time…….trueblue!

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 10:52 am #

    Interesting observation Thomas, I just listened to dabble, for the hundredth time lol, and it reminded me of pink floyd set the controls for the heart of the sun towards the end of the cd. damn good stuff

  11. avatar
    Freddie | 27 June 2010 at 11:28 am #

    Sounds like you're about to strike a creative vein!

  12. avatar
    DavidP | 27 June 2010 at 11:38 am #

    "ain't it funny how you feel when you're finding out it's real…"

    to Delbert McDooright:
    in my opinion (and some experience) those books have been written for sure. See my profile.

  13. avatar
    Richard | 27 June 2010 at 11:47 am #

    good

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 12:27 pm #

    Amen!!

    Most of us have felt that way about you for a long time. Thats why we are here. Live every day as it is your last, enjoy your family as much as possible and ignore the bullshit.
    Thats is a tough one sometimes but rewarding once you see through it and focus on what matters. Looks like your there. Look forward to the results as always.

    Jason (jmb066)

  15. avatar
    cazziem | 27 June 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    It's good to see that you have finally done what your many followers having doing, some for over 30 years – accepted yourself to who you are!

    Bravo sk I'm sure I speak for many by saying I'm very proud of you. xx

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 1:38 pm #

    Beatrice!

  17. avatar
    veleska1970 | 27 June 2010 at 2:05 pm #

    glad to hear that things are going well for you.

    lotza love….

  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 2:12 pm #

    SK:

    I want some of that tea, or did you drink it all?

    Would love another loop around the States.

    You have no idea how happy you really are – I could immediately tell when saw you and your band perform in Raleigh – it was patently obvious.

    And all a good thing – carry on.

    Wilfred Paradise

  19. avatar
    Broken Toys and Heros | 27 June 2010 at 2:22 pm #

    You seem at peace…this is a great thing for u and ur loving family. the doors to creativity will open wider during this period…u may find ur self creating the greatest music-words-art of this time period…Time Being.

    DJK082067

    Wow…Chicagoland area has been pounded by summer storms recently, if any of u are here in the big city with me- please be careful.

  20. avatar
    beverlyeverly | 27 June 2010 at 2:44 pm #

    So happy for you for recognizing what I (we) knew you had in you. Inspiring for me, too, who am changing my path.

  21. avatar
    Centuryhouse | 27 June 2010 at 2:46 pm #

    Steve – sounds great, I'm happy for you!

  22. avatar
    bc | 27 June 2010 at 3:18 pm #

    positivity…
    happy for you sk!

  23. avatar
    Shaman Ron | 27 June 2010 at 3:31 pm #

    Personal paradigm is a wonderful world, which I myself love living.

    Only that which is true to you Steve is real. Those things which have no regards for your path hold no merit or negative weight upon your low self or higher being.

    Personal life visions are beautiful phases which happen throughout ones time on this sorry plane of existence.

    May your next phase of vision be yours and as you want it to be.

    Cheers,
    Shaman Ron

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    good dayze are great — Glad that you have entered Phase – and feeling dapper. God bless, and protect you.

  25. avatar
    fantasticandy | 27 June 2010 at 3:51 pm #

    the art of self-knowing?
    very tough to master….
    i'm sure hidden depths still exist even now.
    the effort is what counts though!

  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 6:36 pm #

    speaking of gabriel and hackettt and banks n rutherford …one of my all time favorites …back in ny city from lld rocks …!the early shows my dad took me to when i was 10 n 11 are among some of the most …anyway ..amazing..but yeah back in new york city….i see faces and traces of home……..peace ..nylon burning a.k.a david and lindsay…a.k.a calling down baal and zeus.a.k.a.

    oh yeah the blog today is exactly what i needed .we all did

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 7:02 pm #

    yes dabble is also a favorite of mine..but I am Saturn and I will thwart your ambitions..

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 7:11 pm #

    not so sure about the martin kennedy stuff its good. but some how its over cooked. to much technology liked dabble alot get that drummer back. wish I could drum like that and write like don hennley .get an old four track and use a parking garage for reverb then you'll be on the right track. maybe tape some car crash sounds and wage a holly war on the great muslim hordes that are destying the complexities of westernn civalization. hollogram of allah man
    however i dig the affirmations. i could feel myself being lifted by them..

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 7:41 pm #

    Right on. Have you ever let your bad self write a song? I'd be curious to hear what he sings of, and perhaps how your good self would respond. Johnny Cash had this sort of thing going on. Ring of Fire, I Walk the Line, man o man.

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 June 2010 at 7:46 pm #

    I find a deeper meaning in many love songs by taking the 'you' in the lyrics to refer to that which is not the singer – the source of life. Imagine that the Bee Gees were singing to the divine in these lyrics… it's stunningly beautiful:

    How Deep is Your Love?

  31. avatar
    Brian | 27 June 2010 at 8:36 pm #

    It's wonderful to see the joy and happiness radiating from this post. The world really is a wonderful place; I just wish it could be so for everyone on the planet.

  32. avatar
    Anne Marie | 27 June 2010 at 9:32 pm #

    Just what I needed. Inspiring. Thanks!

  33. avatar
    steve kilbey | 27 June 2010 at 10:21 pm #

    shaman ron…..oh what a cool guy you are!

  34. avatar
    redgrevillea | 28 June 2010 at 5:42 am #

    winter solstice brings colder weather but new-found clarity. see how much brighter and crisper it is out there today compared to all of that puffy, humid, cloudy weather we've been experiencing for most of the past six weeks. a magic time.

    and you're a magic man – all the best to you, Steve!

  35. avatar
    Georgia | 28 June 2010 at 7:56 am #

    The irony of all of this is that when I have resolved to move forward and to shun those ridiculous shackles of self defeat, I play "Don't Look Back" to help keep my focus forward….In fact, It works after heartbreak or disappointment or after regret…. Your music is so powerful…

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 June 2010 at 12:03 pm #

    I worry as your cycles are repeating in frequency and strength.
    You appear either manic, delusional, or bitterly depressed in thought and word.
    Do you still smoke alot?
    I hope you get some help soon as this must be hell for your wife and young kids.
    It's never to late.

  37. avatar
    environmental-health | 28 June 2010 at 12:22 pm #

    Good writing, Inspiration for me

  38. avatar
    robertmadore | 28 June 2010 at 3:17 pm #

    I join you, virgo brother, in an awakening of deeper creativity. I'll take the northern hemisphere, you take the south.

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 28 June 2010 at 6:49 pm #

    what is worse than highs/lows is nothing. which often seems to manifest as a perpetually shallow happy wall… i sometimes believe people never take emotional (or any other)chances so as not to feel low/are terrified of a mistake; thereby missing any chance of life and light and a high. without [tragedy] there will be no comedy, there will be no light, there is no understanding. not allowing and being afraid of darkness is the most sad of fates to have to face at the end.

    my philosophy: Yay!

  40. avatar
    The Transformed Man | 28 June 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    Excellent SK! You are on the path. I myself just quit my job of a decade and have no plans to return to "work". So I have to find my new work now…

  41. avatar
    Bradley Albert Burkley | 28 June 2010 at 10:56 pm #

    Chuck off the fake detection machine and find the only organic reality. We all get somethin' a little different from yr being timeless. That's what I for one. Continue on, as you will.

  42. avatar
    tom | 28 June 2010 at 11:42 pm #

    I am going through a pretty rough time right now. This post was just what I needed to read last night and recite quietly to myself. I followed it up today by listening to Untitled 23 and Uninvited Like The Clouds in their entirety on a short road trip. I feel better today.

    Thanks, as always, for the inspiration.

  43. avatar
    Steven Krut | 29 June 2010 at 2:14 am #

    Someone's been meditating. 🙂

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 29 June 2010 at 4:08 am #

    neither of Cash's selves wrote "Ring Of Fire" – it was June Carter.

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 30 June 2010 at 3:39 pm #

    So Baby

    No desire?
    What???

  46. avatar
    Ellen | 30 June 2010 at 6:00 pm #

    Ahhhh, so GOOD to read this blog entry.

    Of course, you're doing and being EXACTLY what you were meant to do and meant to be…

    Carry on, Steve!

    Thanks for taking us along for the ride.

  47. avatar
    Cee | 1 July 2010 at 4:41 pm #

    SO VERY MUCH LOVE THIS!

  48. avatar
    beepollen | 3 July 2010 at 6:12 pm #

    SK,
    You really sound like you found inner peace. It's a nice thing to find. Everybody has demons from their past that they have had to deal with or else it would have destroyed us. It took me a long time to rid myself of my demons but I had to get a professional's help for that. Knowing he is there for me helps out a lot.


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