posted on April 13, 2006 at 2:40 am

yeah fiendss
im filming the film
im halfway thru
im playin an olde music producer
livin in bondi
i gotta coupla scenes at skinny dips cafe
then saturday i film the ubiquitous
“party sequence”
before i go to the sando to slay ya dead
with mah charisma
(which i just had topped up)
boy im such a goode akta
i cannae believe it mah self
plus of course
im getting plenty of offers to do
more akting from the admiring onlookers here
theyre wondering where an actor of my calibre
has been all these years
well i started off acting a child
back in the sixties
then i started acting as a handsome
young popstar
then as a handsome not so young pop star
now im playing an avuncular kind olde guy
that you all can and could love
im playing a daddy
im playing a husband
im playing a troubled dude
who eventually came goode
thanks to yoga swimmin meditation
and all the rest of it
the theatre is the world
you are my co actors
this is the script
feel free to improvise
any how
i gotta get back to my luxury trailer
snort some brain draino
have my steroids
check the botox
i’ll bee seeing ya

17 Responses to “swimming pools, movie stars”

  1. avatar
    ML | 13 April 2006 at 3:08 am #

    if you stare too long into the mirror it will crack with envy…
    good work sk.

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 April 2006 at 3:12 am #


    It’s hard to no whats real
    It’s hard to know what’s the truth,
    Is he akting in something
    or is he akting that he’s akting?
    U R a good Aktor cause i can’t tell whether u akting or not,
    Now i’m confused, i can’t remember anything -though i may be akting

    Alex and a Downer

  3. avatar
    Brian | 13 April 2006 at 3:23 am #

    I’m glad you took the opportunity and I’m sure we’re all looking forward to seeing the results, Steve. Can you tell us when the film will be out, and whether it might be distributed in the US too?

  4. avatar
    Mr. Ricky | 13 April 2006 at 3:41 am #

    somehow, I’m not suprised…



  5. avatar
    fergal | 13 April 2006 at 3:45 am #

    it’s that famous actress who’s actually the actor’s girlfriend in real ife!

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 April 2006 at 3:50 am #

    beautiful boy

  7. avatar
    si-kli | 13 April 2006 at 3:55 am #

    Movie Star
    Movie Star…r r r rar
    You think you are a movieEEE..!!


  8. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 13 April 2006 at 5:40 am #

    and here’s the ubiquitous willie shakespearian quote……
    glad you’re embracing the spotlight
    and not the backdoor
    congrats on making it this far
    into the story
    may the penultimate chapter
    be far away
    and bless you
    lucky dog
    for providing the soundtrack as well

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 April 2006 at 8:41 am #

    Yer 2 little bee-sides that graced the heavenly fireman 7″ inch
    have always stuck with me

    glad ya’ tucked ’em onto yer unearthed wreee-isssshuuue

    although if we were core-a-latin’
    these ditties would ‘ave fit on ‘yer slooooow krack. eh?…..

    time wize, i mean.

    glad to ‘ear your beautiful offspring is doing the good less the bad. i dinna prey, uncle steve.
    i just hope.



  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 April 2006 at 9:45 am #

    Oh no, my worst nightmare has come true…losing Steve Kilbey the musician to the acting world!! Please keep making music, the world needs to hear your songs, voice, words etc. I hope the gig on Saturday will remind you what you were put on this earth to do:)!!!!
    (Hope you’re having a good time doing it at least.)

    Lots of love,
    Amanda P

  11. avatar
    light-relief | 13 April 2006 at 11:01 am #

    scene…[aktor appears from trendy cafe…young chicks hangin’ off his arms…young dudes, sucking roll-your-owns, snigger enviously]

    “see ya when I see ya” says aktor

    [aktor peels chicks from his body and swaggers towards a beat up blue ’66 mustang and trips into car]

    thinks to himself “ah…I still got what it takes”. Suddenly, a squeal of horror. Aktor sees his reflection in the rear view mirror. “WHO IS THIS PERSON WEARING MY CLOTHES?”, he yells, slamming a fist into the dashboard. Then, drawing closer to the mirror, a gasp then silence.

    aktor turns key in ignition and mumbles to himself…”What happened to my lips?”

    Aktor dials 1 on (speed dial) on mobile phone…”Dr George? Yeah, it’s me, mate…Listen…I thought you said those collagen injections would last longer than a week…I’m really pissed with you…and…and…my lips have disappeared”….

  12. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 13 April 2006 at 2:50 pm #

    Please don’t forget to send us the script revisions, remember last time we had half the cast playing carnivores and all hell broke loose!
    Wardrobe is having trouble finding the right pair of faux suede shoes and may be a little late on the set today. Just an FYI.
    Have them go ahead with makeup.

  13. avatar
    no relief | 13 April 2006 at 2:55 pm #

    a consoling voice yawns down the phone
    “one day it all disappears my friend”


    “who’s cloths are wearing the person
    is what you need to be asking”

    silence . . .

    fuck you George
    are you writing yourself scripts again?
    i need lips not you’re medicated meditations

    “yeah yeah ok
    come over and i’ll pump them back up for free”

    that’s great!!
    hey george
    what would it take to stop my butt sagging?

    beep beep beep . . .


  14. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 13 April 2006 at 6:58 pm #

    when is miranda’s op??? me would like to send more reiki down under…

  15. avatar
    Dig | 13 April 2006 at 9:02 pm #

    Does that mean I’m an extra in your film or is it that you wrote the sound track to my film?

  16. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 13 April 2006 at 11:26 pm #

    Brad Pitt’s got nuthin on ya!

  17. avatar
    John Garratt | 14 April 2006 at 4:24 pm #

    Woody Allen just called. He needs someone way mellow to balance his lead character.

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