posted on August 7, 2009 at 5:40 am

55 Responses to “the book”

  1. avatar
    verdelay | 7 August 2009 at 8:53 am #

    I ride a bicycle…

  2. avatar
    David Mantripp | 7 August 2009 at 8:56 am #

    So, er, the completist fan who checks his hero's blog at least 5 times a day, fits in where ?

    Just so i know what car to buy 🙂

  3. avatar
    Jasperina | 7 August 2009 at 9:54 am #

    Wonderful being read to…I was thinking some Shakespeare might be next.

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2009 at 11:39 am #

    ahhhh…a truer word was ne'er spoken. all these industry leeches and parasites who feed off the creativity of the artist and have nothing to offer themselves except for a beergut and a gold chain. but try getting the music to the public without these alsorans! good to see you don't play their sorry game, killer!

    cheers from germany

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2009 at 11:40 am #

    dig the new video blogs and pics, you're a cool cat, Kilbey

  6. avatar
    timetunnel | 7 August 2009 at 12:09 pm #

    I do car sharing…

  7. avatar
    Freddie | 7 August 2009 at 12:26 pm #

    Bedtime stories 🙂

  8. avatar
    A. Kite | 7 August 2009 at 1:19 pm #

    Now we know where (most of) the money went…

    And surely the ghastly shape-shifters at Arista must have been a little unnerving.

  9. avatar
    bjmcwilliams | 7 August 2009 at 1:34 pm #

    or the voyeur – watches from a distance, never makes a big fuss, and occasionally donates money to the cause!

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2009 at 1:41 pm #

    I like this new development. More "Story Time with Uncle Steven" please.

    Liz in Carventry

  11. avatar
    heatherdaydream | 7 August 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    fantastic! at last – kilbey stories for grownups…please now can you read us emphemeron?



  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2009 at 2:01 pm #

    a natural

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 7 August 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    Painfully accurate observations.

  14. avatar
    Ellen | 7 August 2009 at 2:44 pm #


    That was a great way to start my day! I'm sure you just read the best part of the entire book.

    Please read to us some more stories.


    just a fan (who PROMISES never to ask you to autograph anything in the rain)

  15. avatar
    matthew | 7 August 2009 at 2:50 pm #

    THAT was very funny & well written.

    & yeah what is the score? …as long as they rake ol' Poiseidon over the coals I'm happy.

  16. avatar
    Kozmos | 7 August 2009 at 3:13 pm #

    Extremely well read!

    Last night my sister and I were discussing the wondrous amount of entertainment you have brought us for over twenty years via your music, your artwork, your words … and we thought you would be a natch for authoring a series of fantastical children's stories … with a cd of you reading the books included. Many have commented on the calming effect of your voice (too true)and your innate prowess with diction and pacing would make the books sing.

    Just a thought – I'm sure Church fans would gobble them up … and it would provide yet another avenue for your maniacal genius (and let's be real – money as well)

    Love your blog – have a great day

  17. avatar
    veleska1970 | 7 August 2009 at 4:41 pm #

    ROTFLMAO this was a hilarious who's-who of the music industry. you most certainly have jabbed the knife in and twisted it. sock it to 'em, LOL

    good one today.

    lotza love…..

  18. avatar
    Cee | 7 August 2009 at 6:29 pm #

    I'm a journalist sometimes, but I'm a nice journalist…I drive a Scion TC after the SFPD totaled my Civic.

    That was great, Esteban – thanks for reading us that very cool piece!

  19. avatar
    davem | 7 August 2009 at 6:36 pm #

    Well, I'm sure that was fab but my olde pc can't cope with vids and freezes.
    Sk – any chance of deleting that anon comment from 7.33pm please? It's true my Mum did die young – thanks anon…really nice comment.

  20. avatar
    Freddie | 7 August 2009 at 8:37 pm #

    I enjoyed your reading, very witty stuff.
    I’m wondering tho’ if I too am driving the right kind of car
    last night I dreamed I was walking along the road
    and pulling a lil’ red wagon. 😀

  21. avatar
    Renee | 7 August 2009 at 9:03 pm #

    not sure what we intend to do with all the stuff we have you sign…what is the purpose of it, really?
    are some hoping it's gonna fetch them a lot of money one day?
    or is the cd just better somehow because it has your signature…I don't know
    for me (and likely most) it's just an excuse to talk to their favorite musician
    the more stuff, the longer the face time 😉

    thanks for the reading…it was very enlightening!

  22. avatar
    fantasticandy | 7 August 2009 at 9:45 pm #

    i just scrapped my old hyundai!
    i'm not kidding by the way………..

  23. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 7 August 2009 at 9:45 pm #

    i drive a camry, have a family and a mortgage and a teaching gig…..ah, yes, i know what i am….a (approaching) middle-age die-hard….

    well done, steve…piss-funny..
    love always……

  24. avatar
    steve kilbey | 7 August 2009 at 10:05 pm #

    sorry bout that
    will be more vigilant

  25. avatar
    cazziem | 7 August 2009 at 10:25 pm #


    Ever thought that everything happens for a reason? Whilst some might argue that we all have choices, ultimately what is meant to be will be regardless; hence my writing here today! I guess we all go through periods of feeling that we’re missing out on something or other, and after only discovering The Church last week; I know for sure that I have!!

    I really enjoyed your video today. Personally I don’t think you can beat listening to an author read his own work. Having read some of the previous comments in response to your very interesting and thought provoking diary, I also see it’s been a while since you were here in England, and trust me, you guys definitely need to get over here and make sure REAL music lovers like me get the chance to experience your spine tingling sounds, not to mention unique voice for real.

    I was brought up surrounded by music, studied classical piano, and was even lead singer in a band myself for a while (many years ago); so having no idea what you sounded like, I was intrigued enough to do a search on the internet. I was completely gob-smacked and gutted when I realised (as soon as I’d listened to just one track) that I’ve been missing out big style on music and lyrics that not only get under the skin, instantly embedded within the mind, but manage to get a really tight grip on the heart and soul! In fact, hand on heart, I have listened to no other artists since, and, with so many years of awesome stuff to catch up on, I know that’s the way it will stay for some time.

    My Mum, God rest her, was born and bread in Vienna, and came to England way back in 1948. She was a semi-professional musician herself, even appearing on TV here back in the 1950s. She lived for music, and I was devastated when she suddenly and sadly passed away just over two years ago. Why am I telling you this; well two things suddenly dawned on me. Firstly, I decided that I wanted to show my true appreciation of your talents by making a donation. Secondly, when my Mum passed away I came into some money and vowed to do something really meaningful with some of it rather than just fritter it away. Put all these elements together and the perfect opportunity has now presented itself! I am 100% sure that if my Mother is looking down on me she’ll be proud that it will be used, albeit in a very small way, to help ensure fantastic compositions such as yours don’t fade away. You will therefore see and additional £100 has been added to the donation pot! I only wish it could be more; but unfortunately current circumstances prevent this at the moment. However, I will continue playing the lottery here and if my finances improve, so will yours!!!

    Having waffled on for so long, I am now in need of a ‘Church fix’ of penetrating sounds and mesmerising lyrics, so I’m off to listen to my latest acquisition.

    p.s. I brought my car because it came with a 7 year warranty. Pity all those that profit from your talents don’t offer something similar. Haha!

    Bis zum nächsten mal, lange leben Musik und die Liebe. xxx

  26. avatar
    scott | 7 August 2009 at 11:12 pm #

    fuckin BRAVO!

  27. avatar
    Sigur | 8 August 2009 at 12:15 am #

    This is the Steve Kilbey I know.
    It is the SK I knew before SK.
    This SK speaks eloquently of the thoughts in my head. If I want to know what I'm really felling, I read SK.

    I've always felt silly asking autographs, especially at the Borderline in the summer of 2000. It is a way to catch memory like photographs. But I've never seen you in rain.

  28. avatar
    princey | 8 August 2009 at 12:32 am #

    Haha, funny article sk, loved it.
    Hope it's a sign of things to come on the one and only TTB blog. my favourite word in your article is 'kaputski' heehee
    love Amanda
    P.S. my shiftkey onthis stupid computer isn't working so i can't put in my favourite, annoying exclamation marks….yeah i know, 'who cares'.

  29. avatar
    CSTCoach | 8 August 2009 at 12:36 am #

    LMAO – that was great! Storytime at the ole Time Being. Well played. You're getting good at this video blogging!

    Enjoyed the piece. Very clever re: the cars (not to be confused with The Cars – speaking of which, i wonder what The Cars drive? Hmm. Probably a truck.)

    I don't drive any of those vehicles. I wonder what category that puts me in?

    You never did say what musicians drive. (voice from another room: they drive me nuts!)

    Also appreciated the gratuitous fuckknuckle thrown in at the beginnning. That always sets the tone and starts things off right.

    Looking fwd to seeing what you come up with next. How about a tour of that bookshelf behind you?

  30. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 August 2009 at 1:26 am #

    Hole in the sky

    looks like a radio tower lurking in the background

    talkin' about the superimposition photo.

    I liked your story but it does not surprise me being the idelaist you seem to be that you fought the music machine.

    It's a bit like fighting city hall. The bastards hold all the cards and make it dam near impossible to get your music distributed and heard UNTIL NOW.

    Jolly Olde England and Scottland home of my ancestors

    Lock Ness on the one side

    Mottram on the other

    very old, ancient places

    steeped in history


  31. avatar
    Forbes | 8 August 2009 at 1:33 am #


    A humble suggestion. You aussies all stick together and rightly so. How about having your agent or you calling up Keith Urban and see if he would record Louisiana.

    I really think that would make a great country ballad.

    A little dobro and slow picked banjo and done.

    I have an ear for those things. Heck a video with a civil war veteran returning home…..kind of like a mini cold mountain.

    Now on the less serious side you and Marty put on some cowboy hats and nahhhhhhh.

  32. avatar
    plumlady | 8 August 2009 at 1:54 am #

    Most excellent! But now dear Steve, you must tell us what YOU drive; and the rest of the band as well. That's quite a rather interesting topic that I haven't heard other musicians (or anyone for that matter) ever really discuss. I think we should all share what we drive…..
    I'm no longer embarrassed of my PT Cruiser…that's what middle aged women are supposed to drive isn't it…
    Take care all.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 8 August 2009 at 2:04 am #

    Hello Steve,
    Your the most entertaining person ever.

  34. avatar
    think it would be safe to say i am somewhere between the metaphan and a parable. i drive a hovercraft... | 8 August 2009 at 2:32 am #

    could we luv u more…?

  35. avatar
    K.P.BUK | 8 August 2009 at 3:15 am #

    dear cazziem [8:25],

    its like that, u know. welcome. just wait until u get into those obscure collaborations, re-mixes, demos, bootlegs, covers, compilations, re-masters, singles, solo albums, spoken word, jams, jingles, esoteric jewels, covers, acoustics, spin-offs, spoilers, poetry, prose, artworks, vinyl, live shows, early recordings, pseudonyms, friends, family, band members, tours, t-shirts, other recordings, souvenirs, speciality items, goldfish, impossible to find, sold out, discontinued, time travel, stardust, memory +, movies, a syllable gun, soundtracks, fruit machines, neuman, a palace in india, the white plague, the golden dawn, the happy hunting ground, valhalla, erskin, dreambeings, droughts, forests, fog, nightmare, a room full of diamonds, arthur rimbaud, set the controls for the heart of the sun…

    start hunting…

  36. avatar
    rockstar | 8 August 2009 at 3:23 am #

    Hey Steve, you are a deer among cattle, can jump the fence and avoid the slaughter.

  37. avatar
    lily was here | 8 August 2009 at 5:42 am #

    I so dug this blessed one. ha, you should do a rundown on cars people drive.) My dream car's a black stretch limo with 'the church band musicians' on the side lol


    ps I'm bandwidth challenged, you're going to put me over the limit! make a heap of these videos, put them onto dvd and offer them up for sale!

  38. avatar
    St Christopher of Pivot Town | 8 August 2009 at 6:09 am #

    Holden Sunbird!!

    I now have double-shot latte in my sinuses.

  39. avatar
    eek | 8 August 2009 at 9:09 am #

    That was great! I have to wonder how many of us were a bit worried when you got to "the fan" though. Honestly Steve, those 40 cassettes I had you sign (in the rain) were for someone else. Really…they weren't for me at all. I was just doing it for a friend…. 😉

    Many years ago, during my very brief tenure as a reporter for a tiny local newspaper I realised I could make some people come across better than they really were, while making other people come across as absolute dolts. I have to admit it was a lot of fun. Made me wonder about the accuracy of every article or interview I've read since though.

    When I was a very young child my siblings (both older) would call me fink. I thought a fink was a good thing (after all, why else would they call me that?) and would happily tell everyone "I'm a fink!" Then I found out what it really meant…. Scarred me for life. It could have been worse I suppose. At least they didn't call me a fuck-knuckle. 😉

  40. avatar
    fantasticandy | 8 August 2009 at 9:13 am #

    the same thing's just happened to me with master's apprentices.
    a long defunct aussie outfit.
    steve….i bet youv'e got some of there stuff…yes?

    davem….hiya mate!
    i don't think that guy was trying to be cruel to ya,
    i bet he doesen't know enough about you really…..
    have a nice weekend my friend!
    and that goes for all other fiends too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    mr. kilbey…..
    you are an extraordinary man with an equally extraordinary fanbase.
    much love to you all!
    andy L.

  41. avatar
    treed | 8 August 2009 at 9:16 am #

    We know SK's conveyance of choice:


    (voyeur who just fixed the AC in the Nissan)

  42. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 8 August 2009 at 10:19 am #

    beware of highly-strung females behind the wheel of 4WD's in shopping-centre carparks……

    love always…..

  43. avatar
    cocoamo | 8 August 2009 at 12:27 pm #

    First–love the shattered reality pic.

    We are profoundly sorry
    You have been used, abused…
    Rode hard and put away wet.
    Leaving you with feelings cynical, hard, cold, resentful–

    While we, your fawning fans–left putty, listening to your magic musc, get the warm and fuzzy golden feeling of gratitude. We are twice blessed.

    Icing the cake – you encourage people to be better, to be healthy, not to eat dead animals and to leave the earth a bit greener by eschewing meat. Somewhere, an animal is not suffering because of you. How can we not be filled with gratitude and awe?

    The earth is a better place because of you. How many can say that?

    In return for the ocean of wonder you have given us–At the heart of nothing here is a thimbleful of entertainment…a riddle for you

    What do the poor have

    The rich want

    And God fears?

    Royally speaking
    With our love from Pennsylvania

    p.s. We have a sweet little grey Prius named Smokey and a big ol honkin van to haul stuff

  44. avatar
    matthew | 8 August 2009 at 1:53 pm #

    Sue – take me for a drag in that one when you get it! (We'd pile into the Buick… etc):-D

  45. avatar
    restaurant mark | 8 August 2009 at 3:09 pm #

    brilliant…thank you for that. i'm just a musician and we're self-produced…so i only drive a honda civic!

    take care steve

  46. avatar
    K.P.BUK | 8 August 2009 at 6:44 pm #

    you @ 12:32 meant "metaphant" right?

    MEm and i have put together a communal
    compost blog called GHOSTOWN for wanna
    be poets like us & anyone can contribute a
    poem or two prose or anything of the like
    if and when ever u may like through ur own
    personal and friendly e-mail where ever u
    might be about the globe here:

    (warning: neither mem or i are as tolerant or forgiving as kind king kilbey is so we will tolerate not BS nor acknowledge your 'personal' right to assholeness get over it)

    if you wish simply to check out our compost
    heap before stepping in go here: GHOSTOWN

  47. avatar
    EDD | 8 August 2009 at 7:46 pm #

    Wish I was privy. Can't see a thing…must be the stars in my eyes……..

  48. avatar
    Agustín | 8 August 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    En Tarragona, España, son 11:30 pm; estamos en el lado opuesto a Australia en esta pelota azul. I said mama! the president´s a fool! Why do spend my time just ready all those heavy technical manuals?

  49. avatar
    Thelonious | 9 August 2009 at 3:28 am #

    Hey SK, that Blue Mountains quip was way out of line. The Clarendon's a lovely venue!

  50. avatar
    japhy ryder | 9 August 2009 at 4:44 am #

    as if you needed to know this, i am often found reading these, and now sometimes watching (oh my), after a hot bath, in hotter Virginia, midnight time, 2 cats in the basement, 1 large cat on top of a pile of wood chips, a pug everywhere, wife in the other room fancying the show True Blood (vampires). I need to laugh, and your story and Personnage do the trick. thanks

  51. avatar
    m.p.k. | 9 August 2009 at 8:34 am #

    Thank you Professor Kilbey. That was a great reading. I really hope to be in your class this upcoming semester.

    I guess I'm becoming a mega fan. The Lurie book has sent me out into the bowels of the internet looking for obscurities. I just finished the book. At 1:30 pm Pacific Time here in California. Good book, although I think he failed to grok Forget Yourself. I'm after Pharmakion. I found Snow Job and Narcosis.

  52. avatar
    Richard | 9 August 2009 at 10:37 am #

    weren't you about to buy an old SAAB a hundred or so blogs ago?

  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 9 August 2009 at 7:50 pm #

    Some things you said are very true and funny!

  54. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 August 2009 at 7:04 am #

    Interesting perspecive from "the artist". They may be greedy, superficial, unartistic power hogs whom can't play but someone has to bring the band and the music to the fans. They do get the job done. After all music is a business . Keep up the good work.

  55. avatar
    Anonymous | 10 August 2009 at 3:52 pm #

    Dear Mister Kilbey,

    Please give your opinion on the following fanarios (fan scenarios)if you feel so inclined:

    1. How about if you ask for an autograph, then the artist turns it around on you and asks for your email? Should you give it to him? Please advise.

    2. What if you see an artist you loved for years after the show in a restaurant eating all ALONE, can you get the waitress to give you the check and pay it for him?

    3. What if you ask an artist over email (different, not the one who asked for your email) to get drinks before the show and they agree to it? Is there a chance they just want to hang out and have a local show them the town, or are they dreading it secretly but feel obligated? I mean, couldn't they just ignore the email like a normal person would, then claim they never got it when you see them? Or are they agreeing simply for free drinks, hoping you bring drugs? If you offered to buy drinks for them, are you obligated to also bring drugs?

    4. Which is worse in your opinion: photographs, or signing stuff?

    5. Have you ever had a fan say something to you that actually DID warm your heart, like, helped you to keep going maybe the way your music helped them? Or, is it all just total rubbish?

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