posted on March 26, 2009 at 8:11 pm

naivete is no excuse
bawled a policeman in my ear
i was cuffed
and processed
any drugs ?
yes please ! i said
oh we got us a wise guy…..hey larry we got us a wise guy..!
a big nasty new york style copper appeared
he grabbed me by the cravat
whaddya fink yer diff’rent ? he yelled in my face
no sir no sir ..i squawked
thats better ! he said
pushing me in the dankest dungeon downtown
alone with my thoughts
i began writing poems on the wall
scratching them in the solid rock with my fingernails
and filling them with fresh blood
to tell the truth they were hard to read in the complete blackness
and i never finished them properly
or using much shorter words than i woulda liked
time passed past
2034 came around
my eightieth birthday
i was released
i couldnt believe how the world had changed
everyone wearing protective clothing
what we are being protected against ? i asked
everything grandad ! said the guy fitting me
the sun
the air
the water
each other
the noise
the disease
the argy bargy of life, old man!
i staggered outside the prison gates
no trees
no birds
no flowers
the sky was grey and dry
the earth was all used up
a silver car sped by silently
something like a bus pulled up
and i hopped on
i got off at bondi junction
the zeitgeist mall had been knocked down
where it stood was a noxious pit of green water
the high rises were now a dark jungle of twisted metal
it was hard to breathe in my suit
i kept trying to get the nitrogen oxygen mix right
but i was feeling dizzy and out of breath
i walked down bondi road
it was now called mal turnbull blvde
but the shops were all closed or burnt out
a few other people wandered in their suits
but it was impossible to tell
who they might be
i was rip van wrinkle
staggering in the remnants of my olde life
eventually i found my way to ninny street
my olde address
my olde house still stood there
i banged on the door
a youngish woman in her late twenties early thirties
brown curly hair with a blonde aureole
scarlet? i asked
she nodded behind the perspex safe-t door
yes sweetheart, its me..
go away dad …! she motioned moaning
i’m not allowed to let you in…..
i wandered down to the sea shore
lonely as a cloud full of fumes
bondi beach was nearly gone
the grey empty sea nearly lapped the pavilion
the fish were all gone
anything still living in that sea…..the mind boggled
nobody swimming or would be a slow death
still a bus-thing full of jap tourists pulled up
out they jumped in their colourful sun-suits
posing against the wreckage of our civilization
the pavilion was now some kinda factory or something
a big pump shuddered underground
above us the dry grey sky
i walked into the pavilion
there were all these little booths
i pushed my credit -thing in a slot
a door opened and i stepped in
you may now remove your helmut said a sign
i hunched over a console
products were advertised on a screen
menus for weird things i didnt understand
transparent schema and instructions in strange hybrid languages
different logos and emblems
i saw sony flash up more than once
but the others were unrecognized
what do you want? asked the machine eventually
in a neutered machine voice with a slight australian accent
what can i have? i asked amazed to hear my olde rheumy voice
how much have you got? asked the machine in its flat way
i stuffed my credit-things into its slot to be read
you have 13 hours remaining …the machine replied disinterestedly
a menu appeared
hot chocolate
various biscuits
rehydrolized water
fruit when in season
i ordered a hot chocolate and a various biscuit
the hot chocolate was scalding hot runny and tasteless
the biscuit was damp and crumbly and sickly sweet
great …i remarked
the machine made some quiet sound
what else?
what else do you require? asked the machine
i want the hole proof troof i said
the machine hummed expectantly for a while
i’m sorry sir could you be more specific?
i just wanna know what happened …i said
oh…said the machine (oh!?)
then you need history ….
ancient or modern?
gimme modern…last thirty years ..i said
ok said the machine
begin replay now
i was suddenly enveloped in the past
it was like i was really back there
out the back of some club doing yoga
while jets jetted overhead
and a dog barked somewhere
it was a hot night
and lightning lit up the sky
it was sydney allright
sydney back in the olde days
when you could still breathe it in
here it was
virtually perfect!

i lose interest in this story n start something new

23 Responses to “the hole proof troof”

  1. avatar
    Also Ran | 26 March 2009 at 9:54 pm #

    It's OK you don't need to tell us what happened. 'mal turnbull blvd' probably says it all.

    Thank you for Untitled #23, the EPs & Painkiller. Man, you’ve harvesting a rich vein. They've made my life better.

  2. avatar
    fantasticandy | 26 March 2009 at 10:43 pm #

    why must the future be such a bleak empty place?
    is it inevitable?

  3. avatar
    pennybridge | 26 March 2009 at 11:02 pm #

    That makes me think of Star trek
    And maybe even
    The Return of the living Dead

    But with a replicator and a holodeck (of Baal)
    anything can be possible

    Ah, shut up – i´m uninvited (just like Sophocles)

  4. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 27 March 2009 at 12:10 am #

    It’s the Japanese, the Chinese, The Africans, white men, Christians and Islam that are killing the beasts and obliterating nature. Even many Hindus are starting to eat meat. The greens, Gandhians and the Jains trying to save our planet. It will be toast within fifty years. roaches, rats and Queen will survive to play “We Are The Champions”. AC/DC might stick around too.

  5. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 27 March 2009 at 12:34 am #

    fuck, very dark, steve…..silent greens here we come…..
    had a chill run over me just then, all too possible…..
    love always…..

  6. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 27 March 2009 at 12:37 am #

    jammed, back with two beasts, untitled #23, your ep’s…..
    breath taking

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 1:11 am #

    Wonderful Blog Steve,Go Veggie!Save the World!
    As Supreme Master Ching Hai says 😉

  8. avatar
    the dean | 27 March 2009 at 2:13 am #

    what with 30 years of history to invent?
    yeah I suppose

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 2:55 am #

    Apropos of onthing, the “on the clock” near the end of each verse on “Pangaea” is brilliant, brother Kilbey!

    -Carlos Halston

  10. avatar
    EDD | 27 March 2009 at 3:40 am #

    What’s left then? Appreciating today?

  11. avatar
    linjo | 27 March 2009 at 3:58 am #

    Or perhaps you will be stepping onto Beirut Boulevarde where you will be tempted by a baba ghanoush served by a burkah wearing Scarlett. Linda

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 6:09 am #

    I like very much, although one is led to ponder – what did you happen to your helmut?

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 8:30 am #

    LOVE . xo

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 10:51 am #

    “..A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies. The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure..

    …New… — A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies. The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure..

    ..New climate, recreational facilities…..absolutely free”.

  15. avatar
    catchow | 27 March 2009 at 11:24 am #

    so,here is the truth:no future?
    predatories are putting this planet into confusion and this will lead vto our complete dying
    out …
    a thrilling and brilliant blog,Steve!

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 11:58 am #

    Have you ever read any Martin Amis, Kilbey?

    I think you’d like a bit of Amis. Yes, you would.

  17. avatar
    Freddie | 27 March 2009 at 12:59 pm #

    Entertaining but I certainly hope this view of the future remains only fiction.
    And, in real life, I really do doubt Scarlet would have turned away her father 😉
    I hope you have an awesome weekend.

  18. avatar
    Altres | 27 March 2009 at 1:34 pm #

    Check this out Steve, a possible advancement in the treatment for tinnitus!


  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 27 March 2009 at 1:42 pm #

    I feel obliged to comment since I read this ….. from time to time and don’t subscribe, and here you are confessing your …. for anyone to read and …. it is funny stuff.

    In return I have no love to offer, all out of that, I’m not one of the nicey nice anons, or a loyal fan, and I’m too stingy to pay $ but you can have an accordian playing guru in exchange. He thinks you’re Mr Oh So Super Cool, you’d work well together except that he talks a lot too even when hanging from the ceiling by the feet. He knows how the rings really came to be on golf courses, and his imagination and drug use past is comparable to you. He doesn’t get along with banjo players though, so if you have him don’t go doing the banjo thing …. you can store him on the patio, doubles as a gnome and a security guard.


  20. avatar
    matthew | 27 March 2009 at 3:44 pm #

    Loved this very much SK

  21. avatar
    ronbonham | 27 March 2009 at 5:11 pm #

    Well today my bandmates and I start playing shows for 09, an instore CD release that won't be a release b/c we have got to turn it way way down, about 15-20% of our normal playing volume. It's very strange playing at the volume, it is more mental the physical and just as draining. On Saturday we will play at #'s, which I have vauge memories of the Church playing in 88 and 90, god that is so long ago! It will be a thrill to play the same stage as the Church did all those years ago, for this show we get to play at full volume.

    Cactus in Store CD release

    Black Black Nite
    Shake the World
    Everything Aligns
    Robbin' Time
    Golden Arm
    Ocean Singing>
    Nite of the Comet>
    Heavy Dose>
    Flower and Song

    Houston Free Press Street Fest@#'s

    Monkey Days(Are Here Again)
    Shake the World
    Golden Arm
    Nite of the Comet>
    Flower and Song

    Thanks for the inspiration

  22. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 27 March 2009 at 7:14 pm #

    you just described how i think the video for “DAY 5” should be…

  23. avatar
    lily was here | 28 March 2009 at 1:49 am #

    I love your sliding corridors.

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