posted on April 2, 2007 at 9:31 pm

took los doodles fabuleux to school yessaday
theres a big big circle of concerned parents
standing round discussing something
someone had heard a tsunamis about to hit bondi
someone heard it on the radio
probably bullshit i mutter
and walk over to the pool
but i start thinking
and i look at the peaceful ocean
and i imagine the mother of all waves a’rollin’ in
smashing down bondi n the school n the shops n the houses
but everything seems so calm
when i get to the pool
the guy on the front desk is saying to the lady ahead of me
well its due to hit at 11….we’ll let ya know…
i say jesus you mean there IS a tsunami coming…?!
i got kids at the school
go n have a look at the computer in the office he says
i go in and look
“8.2 earthquake in solomon islands
tsunami expected on east coast of australia at 11.00 am
evacuate beaches low lying areas etc etc”
i rush back to school
feeling kinda weird n panicky
pick up the doodles
aurora gets all hysterical
i try to explain
auroras wailing n carrying on
i don’ wanna leave school dad
i hurry doodles home
we jump in car after getting necessary things
eg the doodles grabbed their barbie computers
i got that stevie wonder song
about reaching higher ground in my head
we drive into the city
which is stupid cos the harbour wouldve flooded as well
and then we hear on radio
the tsunami has turned into a “ripple”
which would have been a great moment for em to play ripple
but they dont….
of course….
anyway nk n doodles go back to bondi junction
and buy the doodles some clothes
me n baby bumper return to a very unflooded bondi
where we have a nice time hanging out
and i teach the bumper to say “toast”
gee its nice when its just bumper n me
shes very affectionate
and very very charismatic
complete strangers stop n gasp as she goes by
i know all parents are proud as punch
but bumper really has the x-factor in spades
minna is very pretty n elli too
and their identical-ness was quite a show stopper
the doodles too are quite a package
that usually scored quite a kerfuffle in public
but the bumper is something else
“shes got a huge head bulging with brains
shes a fuckin’ genius !”
screams our local loopy restauranteur
and gosh i tend to agree
her big blue eyes are searching yer soul as she looks at you
one bat of her eyes has nannas uncles aunties n cousins swooning
she sings in tune
and the other night
as i was sitting there watching “extras”
nk n mes fave new show
bumper came running in with my new (synthetic) ugg boots
shoes shoes bumpers saying
and she helps me put em on
even becoming agitated when i dont do it immediately
shes still doing her lopsided little dance
her big head one one side and her body swaying the other
like a shamen or witchdoctor
every movement deliberate
not a wild abandon the way the doodles dance(d)
or running around like the twillies
it makes me feel strange to have this amazing childe
(this aint hyperbole fiendss…the bumper is special)
i finish the day on a good note
when marcus from austria rings up
and we do an interview for our vienna gig
i gotta say it again
this means nothing to me oh vienna…
i never been there before and im pretty excited
marcus and i have a really good chat
he knows a lot about us n his english is perfect
marcus if ya reading it was a pleasure
and thought provoking
back here in australia
blah blah radio ask me to go on n promote el mom sig
sure i say
can you play a song too?
sure sure i say
which song?
oh i dunno i say..i’ll think of something…
no no they say we need to know which song…?
well i’ll do something off el mom sig i say
seeing thats what the interviews about
well we want under the milky fucking way! they say
yeah ?i say
thats not even on the record
but thats what we want! they say
i say
yeah! they say
well radio blah blah blah
kiss my well toned ass goodbye
and stick yer morning show up yer failing ratings
im bound for vienna n prague n berlin n amsterdam
ha ha ha

see ya 2 morrow girls n boys

63 Responses to “the new wave”

  1. avatar
    Leelinau | 2 April 2007 at 10:55 pm #


  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 April 2007 at 11:02 pm #

    Nevet’s I told you months ago you’d like “extras”. Isnt it fantastic! Have you see the first series yet?

    ” See his pugnose face.. pug pug, pug pug” “Is he avin a laugh?!” Brilliant!!

    Paul Lightfoot

    Auckland NZ

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 April 2007 at 11:11 pm #

    As I’ve said before, little miss bumper is spoken for! What a cutie!
    Love always,

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 April 2007 at 11:14 pm #


  5. avatar
    Cee | 2 April 2007 at 11:22 pm #

    So you know, you can be on my show and do whatever you want – yoga – painting – staring contest – air guitar – ricky gervais impressions – knitting – puppets – cooking demo – bumper/doodle/twillie tributes, and oh yeah, singing would be good too.
    Cee *who’s NOT running the gong show, really*

  6. avatar
    ed in fl | 2 April 2007 at 11:39 pm #

    When I saw about the tsunami, I thought about Bondi and looked it up and saw it could have been in the path. Unfortunate for the ones that did get hit though.

    Enjoy your blogging – just never know what we’ll get from you and how you come up with what you do???

    ed in fl

  7. avatar
    Daberhasher | 2 April 2007 at 11:45 pm #

    well you’re a fairly glowing, soon to be globetrotting filament today aren’t ya… good for you and yours… alas, i blew my money on something other than a ticket to Amsterdam, thus preserving my living status according to my wifey… so i wish you all well, and look forward to a diet of continental blog breakfasts in the weeks ahead…
    rock it spaceman!!!


  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 April 2007 at 11:46 pm #

    as i was sitting there watching “extras”
    nk n mes fave new show

    Yeah i can imagine you liking that show – i just pissed myself when Robert De Niro did his cameo – sensational stuff – shame it’s finito


  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 April 2007 at 11:57 pm #

    hey sk

    great report. you’d been losing me a bit with the previous posts but thats just me.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 2 April 2007 at 11:58 pm #

    you do know how to do the right thing
    you can’t afford to dabble
    when you’ve a stalker
    on yer arse
    cut the mush for a bit
    menopausal types lose the plot
    start thinkin’ you’ve got the hots for em
    writin’ specifically for them
    loaded language
    amorous musings
    untapped desire
    someone’s lost the plot
    you best take control
    if you play on it
    let curiosity tempt you
    it’s gonna get worse
    you’ve thought about it
    you picked it
    the depression
    you can’t half tell
    feeling like half a woman
    yearning for you to write her well again
    giving her hope
    something to live for
    courage to make a fool of herself
    you started it
    you feed soup to the starving
    all you can eat buffet
    what are you trying to do?
    knowing she has an eating disorder
    yer going about it the wrong way
    this is your blog
    too right
    but i’m gettin’ my bit in
    you’re an irresponsible writer
    deliberately vague
    stabbing in the dark
    hitting on every topic that moves
    penetrating the weak hearted
    and shallow minded
    your generalisations are heartless
    they are
    because you’ve met
    at one time or another
    almost all of your readers
    the poor gullible subscribers
    the impressionable dames
    shame on you!
    playing on their emotions
    taking advantage of their vulnerabilities
    probably having a good laugh
    and then feeling guilty
    backing off
    but comin’ back swingin’
    leading on the innocent
    with your psuedo wisdom
    sensitive issues
    handled carelessly
    mooning tempered junkets
    not good
    you’ve done yer homework
    submit it already
    cheeky boy
    turning in stuff like that
    averaging the profundity
    of lower middle school projects
    adding to the failure of others
    ain’t what you’re about


  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 12:05 am #

    psuedo = pseudo

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 12:15 am #

    m p/////get over it!!!!saucey ,ambiguity has gotten many people through,over the eons that art has had a name………..a shame for the lost lady,love and healing to her xoxoxoxoxoxoxo………….keep it coming easter kilbey………you are inspirational……g

  13. avatar
    calling down baal and zeus | 3 April 2007 at 12:15 am #

    moses dont you touch that dial..

  14. avatar
    Tim | 3 April 2007 at 12:33 am #

    Glad to see everything worked out for you and the east coast of your little continent there….

    Vienna is sinking so you’ll only be slightly better off.

    Have a good one.


  15. avatar
    pjm | 3 April 2007 at 12:35 am #

    Are there bad times to play “Ripple”?

  16. avatar
    nine | 3 April 2007 at 12:36 am #

    hmmmm, you are lazy, no just tired. It is ok to be just a simple happy ordinary person sometimes, we don’t always have these expectations on you

  17. avatar
    veleska1970 | 3 April 2007 at 12:46 am #

    hi, steve. sorry i’ve been away these last few days……had a lot to get caught up on.

    **whew** looks like you dodged the bullet, thank God. however, i’m sure you could have done without the scary false alarm, though. but my thoughts are with those who weren’t so lucky.

    love the stories of the doodles and bumper. kids are such much fun!!

  18. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 3 April 2007 at 12:56 am #

    see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya…

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 1:01 am #

    did they kiss your ass?

  20. avatar
    MATTDAVISON | 3 April 2007 at 1:02 am #

    Um! lot’s a stuff in there dude.

    Vienna, what a bluddy amazing songie..get shivers on that track.

    Ya didde mention nz.. We were the one’s that were spose’d to get wiped out.. But than we didde really care..we got earthquakes that make Japan look like the most stable land on the planet.

    64 volcano’s in Auckland surrounding 2 million souls..

    Floods, rain, drought..yes drought. and bloody well the might of the pacific……

    You wanna freak out!! try a earthquake in a high rise block at school..many times have I been through that crazy stuff. ask t-poles.

    My lady D has just told me she is expecting. (So that’s a Tsunami if ever I ve heard.

    Mmmmm Dunno why I just wrote that here in Cyber world however ” mind doing 300 mph.

    Um.. and well,

    All we hear is radio Blah Blah.. Thanks Freddy!!

    Might go see George Benson tmrw.

    Glad too be alive all

    Spare a thought for NZ you other world’ers we may not be around 4 to much longer.

    Kiwi Champion MD

  21. avatar
    namaste | 3 April 2007 at 1:36 am #

    yeah I was thinking about you and yours yesterday sk, as I was perched ‘safely’ in randwick…who woulda thought it coulda caused so much choas…and it made a little girl cry!
    I agree with matt d ’bout the kiwis living with earthquake threats, was in wellington in january visiting fambley…they even had quake survival kit stashed in their house (dog food included)…wonder if we should have tsunami survival kits.. complete with inflatable rafts, barbie computers etc?

  22. avatar
    captainmission | 3 April 2007 at 1:58 am #

    i missed the whole thing, but when i noticed my phone filled with missed calls and messages i knew something was amiss, apparently all the beaches in nsw were closed, i watched the horizen from the headlands at avalon and waited for a big wave, but it never really came. then i thought about that film ‘abyss’ with the tidal wave and wondered if aliens were telling us to behave and be cool and nice, but i didn’t see any aliens and people just carried on as normal, shouting for car spaces and eating burgers and later when the sun was going down i had a ‘organic’ jazz ciggerette and thought it’s nice to have another day on planet earth.

  23. avatar
    The Carrier of Fruit | 3 April 2007 at 2:25 am #

    ‘a great moment for em to play ripple’

    Haha, even in a potential emergency you are thinking ‘shop’.

    I agree totally about the great radio moment that was, of course, lost.

  24. avatar
    Music | 3 April 2007 at 2:33 am #

    The foundation of learning is play

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 2:43 am #

    Hi SK, my husband is in Germany at the moment following his favourite artiste around the country – John Watts of Fischer-Z, UK artist but big fan base in Germany (his song in the 80’s was “So Long”:- “Why didn’t you tell me, not leave me this way, oh you should have told me, not waited for so long..”) He tells me he was talking to a girl at a gig in Wuppertal and she said, “Oh I am looking forward to seeing one of your Australian bands very soon called The Church.” Thought you’d like to know you were being anticipated… Shame you didn’t go over earlier as I would have gone with him and seen you there too!- Big smiles, Kate

  26. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 3 April 2007 at 3:43 am #

    That was very ominous, stark and portentious. I pray for Mother Earth and I think human activity is the direct cause of these potentially lethal weather conditions. Steve Kilbey is one of the good guys who does everything he can to make the world more green and pristine and bereft of human and animal bloodshed.

  27. avatar
    Prince Lovely | 3 April 2007 at 4:02 am #

    I think the lovestruck woman in the states should be allowed to post whatever she damn well likes.
    But it’s interesting to note that MP thinks SK is leading her on?
    SK is this true? Have you been leading on hapless menopausal woMeN for tricks?
    If so, you can always pass them on to me, I’ve got a wifey at home, but there’s still some space for more.

  28. avatar
    Prince Lovely | 3 April 2007 at 4:02 am #

    I think the lovestruck woman in the states should be allowed to post whatever she damn well likes.
    But it’s interesting to note that MP thinks SK is leading her on?
    SK is this true? Have you been leading on hapless menopausal woMeN for tricks?
    If so, you can always pass them on to me, I’ve got a wifey at home, but there’s still some space for more.

  29. avatar
    ~ | 3 April 2007 at 4:27 am #

    the young folks
    I ain’t whistlin dixie
    over protective parents
    tisk tisking
    think they’re watching desperate housewives
    I hate that shit
    spent the most beautiful spring day
    in recorded history
    pencil pushing
    with the pencil pushers
    it was a bureaucratic
    my minds on the
    set to go
    free at last
    thanking the almighty
    you in lovely vienna
    looking forward
    filament future
    glowing golden
    lucky lucky
    did someone say
    men on pause?
    heh heh
    (pressing play)
    (weapon of choice!)
    tidal waves and whirlpools?
    hot damn!
    damn hot!
    see ya killer


  30. avatar
    spongebather | 3 April 2007 at 4:37 am #

    When in Vienna try to make it from one point to another without passing a “Mostly Mozart” shop. Sadly they have no “Forever Falco” outlets.

  31. avatar
    Sunshine | 3 April 2007 at 5:05 am #

    Good that everyone’s safe, SK. I enjoy your descriptions of wonderment at your kids’ individual personalities and such. Beautiful stuff.

    I think if your trip through my mind yesterday had been a reality, you might have been the one who’d have gotten lost. My mind is that of someone who doesn’t know if she’s coming or going most of the time. Too many projects, too many varied interests, too few hours in the day. That sort of thing.

    Happy trails. Can’t wait ’til you make it back to the US.


    PS – And I’m definitely not the “menopausal american woman” mentioned above. How rude.

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 5:23 am #

    What’s with the 2 nutcases above?
    (MP & ~)????
    Love Amanda
    (no relation to “prince lovely said”!!)

  33. avatar
    Krissythegroupie | 3 April 2007 at 5:56 am #

    “kiss my well toned ass goodbye”

    For real.

  34. avatar
    mime | 3 April 2007 at 6:19 am #

    Ahhh, Ripple… can’t wait to see and hear you play that one again

  35. avatar
    gluteus maximus | 3 April 2007 at 6:43 am #

    well toned ass my arse you vain olde fool

  36. avatar
    verdelay | 3 April 2007 at 7:08 am #

    Right. That’s it. All that talk of sultry Europa.

    I’m off to the Pyrenees.

    Gonna basque in all their glory.


  37. avatar
    kat | 3 April 2007 at 7:58 am #

    tsunami ripple, there’s a name for a song, sk!


  38. avatar
    sue cee | 3 April 2007 at 9:17 am #

    Love to see the baby bouncer’s groovy moves. maybe you could get some footage. make sure you do for yourselves before she grows up. I so regret not being able to do that with my kids.
    matt d – i remember earthquake drills at school in nz. we had to get under our desks. Of course, where was I when the big one hit? ..outside. fell over and hit my head on a bench.. explains a lot

  39. avatar
    fantasticandy | 3 April 2007 at 9:39 am #

    we are so fragile,
    including the world we live on.
    it’s such a shame we have a parasitic rather than symbiotic
    relationship with the earth.
    i reckon bumper is gonna be the
    one to carry the torch steve!
    andy L.

  40. avatar
    Symon | 3 April 2007 at 10:42 am #

    I hope you did like the Grinch and held a sprig of mistletoe above your ass while you waited for the wankers to kiss it…pucker up Whoville.

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 12:21 pm #

    ‘If so, you can always pass them on to me, I’ve got a wifey at home, but there’s still some space for more.’

    fucking hilarious
    and baby
    you’re right
    all the spaces
    room enough for a booth
    a wifey
    sunday work
    monday sick
    flexiday confession
    a show stopper
    hang back
    what’s that?
    another empty corner
    a real hide
    somebody please pass
    me a piece of arse
    priority baby
    i’m a village idiot
    badge holder

    ‘a shame for the lost lady, love and healing to her xoxoxoxoxoxoxo’

    Cruel to be Kind
    RIGHT MEASURE[d] (state)
    what was that code again
    zip alert
    outskirts of 40 2 60
    lost and found
    postcode depression ward

    ‘What’s with the 2 nutcases above?’

    All together now
    HOW RUDE!!!


  42. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 12:22 pm #

    tv…blah blah bleh…destroys my mind like a tidal wave of moronic shit…Deus in Texus ~*~ best way to face impending disaster…close your eyes and pray to non-existent God…

  43. avatar
    Al Renwick | 3 April 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    how does she promounce ” toast” both my 2-year-old popcats say “towist”

  44. avatar
    restaurant mark | 3 April 2007 at 12:55 pm #

    hey man…glad you didn’t get washed away…sure there was a nervous moment or two, especially with the kids involved. good luck on the shows and enjoy the trip.

    it’s funny, i feel like naomi (my daughter) has more charisma than most people i know. not a shy bone in her body…you should see her. she’s already a rock star. it doesn’t matter where i bring her…everyone ooohs and ahhhs. she’s 4…when i drop her off at pre-k in the mornings it’s like the other kids are just sitting and waiting on her. she gets swarmed by the others (boys and girls). play with me naomi…no me! constantly singing…dancing perfectly on beat. in the car, if i’m listening to the church though…total silence. just a rocking of her head and a far off dreamy look in her eye. love it…

    take care

  45. avatar
    relic | 3 April 2007 at 2:05 pm #

    ok killah. Its tomorrow now. Where is ya? Dont tell me you sleep sometimes?

    Never underestimate a tsuenami!

  46. avatar
    Deep Goat | 3 April 2007 at 2:23 pm #

    Love the sight of that retreating WTA. Esp teamed with the Mt Rushmore-like calves over synthetic ugh boots.

    Wot a spunk you are Kilbey.

    Vienna – that’s SO grand. Please go visit the house of Dr Frued for me. Super city….

  47. avatar
    Jen Jewel Brown | 3 April 2007 at 2:25 pm #

    Glad to hear Team Rocket are still there and tsunamiless for another day.


  48. avatar
    Jen Jewel Brown | 3 April 2007 at 2:27 pm #

    Hey, did you turn out your lights on Saturday night? We did. It was really easy actually… And a heap of power saved. A good indicator of what people can do if they try (2 million in Sydney and more elsewhere turned out their lights 7.30 – 8.30 pm last Sat nite for Earth Hour).

  49. avatar
    John Garratt | 3 April 2007 at 3:16 pm #

    “which would have been a great moment for em to play ripple
    but they dont….
    of course….”

    Too bad. I once heard a public service announcment about athlete’s foot on the radio and they were playing “Footprints” by Wayne Shorter in the background.


  50. avatar
    Jab @ BZT | 3 April 2007 at 3:29 pm #

    Nice Ultravox reference.

    If any or you readers don’t have Vienna by Ultravox in your music collection, it’s a must have.

  51. avatar
    veleska1970 | 3 April 2007 at 3:52 pm #

    to jab@bzt: i have just about everything they ever put out. i LOVE them!!! 🙂

  52. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 4:15 pm #

    The thing that got me about Extras was that Ricky Gervais does the best Bowie impression I’ve ever heard (of his speaking voice, not singing) – and I’ve been a Bowie fan since the 70s so I’ve heard a few. Yet he resisted the temtation to use the impression in the episode Bowie was in. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I dunno.

  53. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 4:16 pm #

    Ere, apart from the eyes, didn’t David Brent look like the Killa circa 1990?
    Sorry, Steve…

  54. avatar
    knot | 3 April 2007 at 4:18 pm #

    instinct and truth are blood sisters
    hand in hand
    hand in hand

    RE:glowing filament
    time ate up all my fancy speeches
    if you wish to find me
    look to the west

  55. avatar
    davem | 3 April 2007 at 4:45 pm #

    Can’t wait for you to arrive here…..birthplace of Ricky G (agree Extras has been fab – we’re getting re-runs in blighty and it’s still hilarious)and SK. Ricky G plays a bit of guitar, wonder if he knows about le chrunch?
    Bring it on.
    Glad it was a ripple and I’m now off to plonk P=A on.

  56. avatar
    stealthblue | 3 April 2007 at 5:42 pm #

    Glad to hear the wave chilled out and you and the family (and the other Sydneysiders for that matter) are A-OK!! That could have been trouble.

    God, I wish so terribly that I could be there in Amsterdam (for the show of course)…won’t be able to pull it off probably at that time due to the tight wallet of course. BUT you never know 🙂 Isn’t that sad though??? Everything is so fucking money oriented. BIGTIME bummed. Anyway, I did turn some Dutch friends of mine on to you guys, and they are planning on checking out the show.

    Well, glad to know you guys are ok.
    (More importantly)

    Take care all…
    Ben V.

  57. avatar
    JJ | 3 April 2007 at 6:21 pm #

    Safe travels to Europa, TimeBeing. Vienna….never been there either; sounds exotic and full o’ culture. Looking forward to blogges from the road.

  58. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 6:23 pm #

    saw a jack frost video on youtube brought back good memories.

  59. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 7:30 pm #

    Hey u gotta see the Ricky Gervais, Comic Relief…Amazin. On the night, for the first 5 mins, I thought it was for real ! And was fillin up with him ! LOL


  60. avatar
    eek | 3 April 2007 at 8:02 pm #

    There is something utterly adorable about little girls out with their daddy. I can imagine you and Scarlet made quite an awww inducting scene. I really enjoy when you write about your girls — the love is so apparent.

    Very happy to know the tsunami was only a ripple there. Mama Nature can be both magnificent and terrifying.

  61. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 April 2007 at 8:39 pm #

    I am so glad to know that my wifey and I are not the only one who thinks that SK looks a little like ricky gervais. The first time my wife saw the Office, she said “that guy (RG) looks like that guy from the Church.” SK is obviously more handsome, particularly in the calf region I hear . . .

  62. avatar
    william | 4 April 2007 at 2:49 am #

    Wonderful entry sir. And I hate to respond to two tv references in a row…but i’m sorry can’t resist the opportunity to revel in the confluence of gervais and kilbey, brought about by one of their own hands no less.

    I’m SURE that by now someone must have directed you (*looks at killer*) to this tidbit by now — but anyone who has even vaguely detected gervais / kilbey similarities in whatever form needs to go here. now. please.

    Seona Dancing



  63. avatar
    nickfiction | 4 April 2007 at 11:12 am #

    ‘milky way’ is a great song ,but i’ve had enough of it also…….. how about a nice ‘ othertime ‘….. nickf

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