posted on April 24, 2006 at 12:07 am

monday morning fiendsss
snap to it
get in yer carr
drive to work
etc etc etc
ya know how i told ya i never werked
a day in my life…?
that doesnt mean i didnae have a job
yep i hadda job
in the public service
but i didnae work…
if only the real workers knew..
the guys in the factories
the policemen
the firemen
the truckies
the tradies
the bus drivers…

there is this vast body of pseuds
who turn up at their office every day
nothing really to do
nothing that matters anyway
i know cos i was there
i avoided doing any work
and so did most of the rest
public fucking servants
sittin around reading the gazette
cheating on their flexitime
having an extra day off every fortnight
travel leave
blah blah blah leave
this lurk
that perk
if only they knew how easy these loafers got it
cmon lets have both barrels of yer vitriol
all you shiny bums sitting on yer fat asses
in some office block in canberra
dont come the raw prawn with me
i know you jerks are goofing off round the water cooler
having extended tea breaks
having 2 hour lunch times
borrowing the govt car to do yer shopping
and not just canberra
great legions of public servants
who knows what they do?
who cares?
i tell ya what fiendiess
i wassa a pub lick servant for nearly 5 years
tween the age of 19 to 24
believe me
yer average rockah does ten times the werk
of these lazy fat cats
embedded in the system
ya cant cant sack em
once theyre in
theyre like cold sores
ya cant kill em off
they just hang around
sucking on the system
they wanted to sack me
i was the laziest
i was the most rabble rousing layabout
i got there the latest
i went home the earliest
i spent my time and the govts money
writing poetry n lyrics
going out to hit the coffee shops
and import record shops
i flaunted my hedonistic snotty nosed attitude
and they couldnt even sack me
i smoked fuckin dope in the toilets
they still couldnt axe me…
just like politicians
theyve feathered their own little nests
empire building
getting more chairs n desks
filling in forms to order more staples n bulldog clips
making calls overseas w/ yer money
lookin at porno on govt computers
boozy friday lunchtimes
what a lazy corrupt buncha rogues
dont try and kid us any of ya are doing anything useful
you could sack 2 thirds of em
and theyd still be overstaffed
public servants
ha ha ha

36 Responses to “the silver of your sun-suit negates the exit, cute….”

  1. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 24 April 2006 at 12:40 am #

    check out my sunday blog…me have challenged you to a blogg off, haha…

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 12:44 am #

    hey its a good life dont knock it. obviously im here at work reading this. might go a coffee break now. later.

  3. avatar
    Brad | 24 April 2006 at 1:09 am #

    I just got little shavey parts of my chest fur shaved off to get an EKG to work for a local municipality as part of my physical check-up, and I am so offended right now! Like oh my god!

    Ha! No, I think government work is maybe world known for it’s default time wasted. Often the argument made by conservatives in the states against expanding G toward social issues, but forgotten in terms of military and corporate deals.

    Check “Ikuru,” if you haven’t already; an early Kurosawa film about a guy who gets his days numbered and he starts cutting red tape from within. Warning: might make you cry (it might make you smile).


  4. avatar
    captainmission | 24 April 2006 at 2:20 am #

    ahh ye old public servants, in the early daze of capt. mission, back in thatchers Londinum i did the same kinda job, for the govt, ‘dept, of statistics and graphs’, ironic that a dyxlexic chappie like me should have a job looking at long numbers and adding them up and matching them with other numbers, of course i had no idea what they meant and cared very little, for little capt. mission just stared out the window watching clouds and writing random numbers pulled from the ether in the boxes, little did he know that the butterfly effect of these seemingly inconsequential numbers would influence the rise and fall of empires and states. the civil ‘idiot’ servants, all brainless zombies, numbed down contributing to the decline and fall of civilization, poor happless youth having to sacrifice their dreams and desires of rock and roll heroism, for a pension and a flexi day in the coridoors of annonimity, sigh, eventually i escaped, off to west berlin to do more creative and worthwhile pursuits but the terrible distain of officialism left a permanent stain upon my soul, never again, it’s the experience i had to have i guess.
    hope yr well, the waters warm and the cotton is high 🙂

  5. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 24 April 2006 at 2:43 am #

    I’m going for a walk…

  6. avatar
    si-kli | 24 April 2006 at 2:51 am #

    have ya penned a toon for them socceroono’s?
    The unguarded goalpost?
    Day of the Doomed?
    Go on, give it a crack.

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 3:00 am #

    ha ha sk! things have changed, the bastards have cut most of our lurks and perks and now its just works 🙁

  8. avatar
    public savant | 24 April 2006 at 3:11 am #

    Umm. Hmm. I’m flummoxed. My vitriol has congealed. That is nastily superb.

    I know you’re looking for a diverting stoush, but telling this little shiny-bum that the “work” for which he’s handsomely remunerated is utterly devoid of any worth is like telling a politician that they’re likely to compromise their integrity at some point in the very near future. All I can think to say is “And?”

    All but the most deluded amongst us here in this sheltered workshop would readily admit to every one of the crimes you list. In fact, as soon as I’ve left this comment I plan to print your diatribe and pin it up in a prominent position – an anti-APS Code of Conduct if you like. And you’re right to liken a dedicated malingerer to the doggedness of herpes – in a fortunately brief phase of my employ when I had to ham it up as a “manager” in order to secure yet more money for nothin’, I was asked to jettison a particularly loathsome fellow who had not missed a single metropolitan horseracing meeting for ten years. After recording in an inappropriately flamboyant prose the fool’s every movement and utterance for three solid months – and not so much as the frequent manifestation of his accursed flatus was missed – he requested my dossier under FOI and launched a successful case of victimisation. You think I didn’t admire that?

    I like to think that I’m continuing the tradition that probably began long before the anxious daytime clerking of Franz Kafka, my greatest hero. I’m careful though – there is a celebrated case within these benighted halls where it surfaced that an about-to-be-signed author had written his highly marketable novel entirely on public service time and had, not so cleverly, left a complete copy of the thing on his hard drive. The department wasted no time in claiming full copyright and destroying the poor bastard’s life.

    Now, which particular lyrics did you pen when you were doing your time? Unguarded Moment could be just the theme song for the WorkChoice reforms….

    Anyway, it’s nice to hear that you too knew, albeit briefly, the singular pain of being too well-paid to pursue the things that you ought (and I swear a lack of courage or talent has nothing to do with it).

    Of yeah, Block is fucking breathtaking. Baby is delicious. The whole thing is easily the best stuff you guys have ever done (Steve H, you’ll probably read this before I speak to you next, so that’s what my thinking is on ULTC).

    That gland who said he had to go out for a walk with his wife has got it all wrong: he should’ve taken ULTC for the walk – I took three extra blocks on my walk to the orifice this morning just so I could have that little bit more of the honey that was seeping out of my ipod earphones.

    PfuckingS: Policemen are real workers?

    PPS: As soon as i heard the GoBees’ Born To A Family I thought that i had just stumbled across my life’s anthem.

  9. avatar
    verdelay | 24 April 2006 at 5:27 am #

    Jeff Kennett used to say the same thing, and he had the wherewithal to sack thousands of ’em.

    Those shinybums that were left had to do all the loafing about themselves.

    Y’know, the methadone programs, the housing of the destitute, the meals on wheels for poor aunty doris, that kind of funster lark.

    All the mopping up some poor bastard has to do when Captain Capitalist has just ridden through the town, making a fast buck and fucking everybody over, all the while blaming the ‘fatcat’ public servants for their lurks, perks and inefficiencies and demanding lower taxes.

    I’m saving my bullets for the real nasty bastards, not the ineffectual nancyboy skimmers who’d rather rock and roll on a public service salary than rape the third world from a mirrorglass corporate tower.

    Right on.

  10. avatar
    Daniel 26, 7 | 24 April 2006 at 6:23 am #

    Well, good morning to you too….

    My br. (nice guy, bad taste) gave me ULTC for my acoupla dayzago (38 now). Love it (not my age). Sue C. was right. Day 5 is great. So is Overview. However, don’t think Unified field and Easy will be on my list of favorites. Cant love them all, I guess.

    I should get to work (or whatever it is).

  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 9:39 am #

    well…what a fucking hero you are! Thanks for taking the money away from those who really needed it. You are so cool to rip off a system that was sooooo primed to be ripped off!!! Wow…you should have been a brain surgeon/rocket scientist/someone with ethics! But, hey, who the fuck am I except a nobody who expects to make some difference…..and has morals. Don’t forget to teach your children to take take take….and fake fake fake…..the world would be such a great place if everyone adopted these principles. I’m glad to know that I paid my taxes for an arsehole like you, who 25 years later, glorifies his theft under the misconception of ART. What an insult you are.

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 10:03 am #

    Hey you above my comment here. Who are you to come on here with your bollox. If you werent clever enough to write a good tune or should I say hundreds of exceptionally good tunes, then –
    1. Carry on in your analy retentive breath.
    2. Have the guts to ID yourself when you fire insults your self fuck features. You must be the Anti-Steve you sphinkter.
    Paul L

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 10:21 am #

    another brain surgeon…obviously.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 11:13 am #

    i know what yer thinkin’….you ain’t put enuf away in yer super fund and yer mighty pissed that yer didnt…coz…hey…ya make great muzic…but yer aint gonna retire on stolen funds….aint life a freakin bitch!

  15. avatar
    Brad | 24 April 2006 at 11:36 am #

    Unless yr hed is way down in the sand, no one knows more than G employees themselves how true this blog post is. I have worked for fed(post), state(research), and local(public safety), and on all levels it’s a not-so-inside joke about the smoke breaks errands on the clock, and 2 hour lunches et cetera.

    So like or not what Steve says here, it’s true, at least in most cases.


  16. avatar
    Daberhasher | 24 April 2006 at 12:08 pm #

    well, do you really think a bohemian vegan could last very long at all in that florescent dog eat dog enviro??? no… some folks can, Harvey Pekar, Bukowski (sort of), but they still created… from here on my perch i say, right on!!! the truth hurts…
    get out,get out while you can!!!

    let’s go for a bike ride, i’ve got a mauve safari suit you can borrow…. Ghost Riders In The Sky??? jesus, what a long strange trip it’s been…


  17. avatar
    John Garratt | 24 April 2006 at 1:25 pm #

    Oh, and you didn’t watch prono on gov’t computers?

  18. avatar
    CSTCoach | 24 April 2006 at 2:46 pm #

    Ahh, SK. Well and truly nailed.

    I “worked” gov contracts in ottawa for a few years. Spent my days writing me own stuff on scraps of papier concealed in an important looking folder, plugged into the choich…

    At the most prestigious of those jobs I’d devote the morning to my correspondence (email), read some web forums, then sneak off to hide in the basement with a coffee and a book…

    In the worst one, where I barely existed cause I was a poor bastard on contract, I snuck into the washroom and wrote communist slogans on the toilet paper rolls. “Workers of the world unite”, “Power to the people”, “The party is always right”… Then I’d roll it back up so the next poor bastard who peeled off a strip for a wipe would be confronted with this anarchy. Rumours of communist agitators and midnight politburo meetings where they purged people… I also snuck in early to paste signs above the doorway to my workspace that read “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here…”

    The next step, now that I’m free, is to gather up me notes and write all this stuff out in full. A couple other books to finish first, but they’ll get theirs, the bastards 😉

  19. avatar
    matthew | 24 April 2006 at 3:11 pm #

    I must have about mirrored that stint myself, albeit some years later… about 6 yrs for me from ’85 to ’90… Saw the pre-heyday shows at the ANU bar in them there Heady Days. I had to laugh at almost everything you documented – the flextime, the work avoidance… (you did neglect stopping off at op shops for florid shirts in the govt courier vehicle). Ahh yes, met some of the best and the very worst of people there. Left to become a roving pianobar singer and, later, a songwriter buried in a cave of smouldering equipment with the nicest of intentions. (oh and then a single dad eeeking out an existence, but what is this – a freakin’ autobiography?)

  20. avatar
    starfish | 24 April 2006 at 3:33 pm #

    Yeah the U.S. gov’t sector is way outta control. Those who still study civics and the founding of America ( Constitutional America) know that a tiny, small gov’t was intended. Looks like the Re-Pub-Lick-Cans got at least one right, well that and the 2nd Amendment. Keep gov’t small and defend against internal Tyranny. What more do you need? How did Stalin, Mao, and Hitler rise – they grew the government and took away guns, …and cigarettes. Haha and NYC thinks they’re safe. Ahaha.

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 4:02 pm #

    you talk of god but surely this is self-disgust not everyone acts like you did in the same situation my government worker friends work out how paralysed children can return home how government can listen to old men and women who fought in wars not of their making and cam home damaged how australian films can be assisted into existence they work hard under stress and pressure, ridiculous expectatations, and just say ‘ how high?’

    and haven’t you heard? johnny boy howard and his sandlot kids have brought all lucky us australians the gift of ‘work choices’ no unfair dismissal now man sack at will we’re all being casualised (no sick/holiday/super/dismissal pay then, we’ll save heaps) and one hour employment is employed that’s why we’re only got 5% unemployment don’t talk about underemployed or the working poor sweat shops making your fashionable new shoes
    single parents with a five year old pushed back to work with no childcare available after school or in school holidays or if they’re sick latchkey kid at 5?
    or if they don’t want to be left alone and unable to look after themselves and wondering why they don’t matter ednough for anyone else to be there

    each of us is born with and into difference a beautiful face an ugly one anxiety a laid-back style mental illness clarity poverty, abuse, abandonment a nice middle class home with two parents who love you and siblings proud to call you bro
    trips to the snow
    trips to snowtown

    judge not lest ye be judged

  22. avatar
    Trickster | 24 April 2006 at 5:21 pm #

    Oh, MUSE.

    there’s more where that came from…

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 24 April 2006 at 7:02 pm #

    ok, ok, ok . . . i get it now!

    the time being. here and now/this moment/of current occurrence.

    the time being. one who eclipses time/an ageless soul/an enduring life form.

    that’s good.

    damn good . . .

  24. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 24 April 2006 at 8:13 pm #

    The local SF Gov’t hates me, I bombard them with phone calls and emails when they don’t do their jobs…evil me!

  25. avatar
    Brad | 24 April 2006 at 10:35 pm #

    tres commentes au jour…oh well, seen tarnation? had the song deviner a la hex featured amongst other great songs. a wonderful film if yr not homophobic or of afraid of being dsi—..orien–tt..ed..!!


  26. avatar
    verdelay | 25 April 2006 at 12:32 am #

    Reel ’em in, Kilbo, they’re a-bitin’

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 12:49 am #

    you’re so clever at illuminating the most ordinary of things
    and yet i was expecting an intelligent rant on all things
    shakespearean, monday being the celebrated day of his birth and death
    yeah yeah i know you hate requests
    but just this once,
    a word or two on that dude

    so loving hearing your old and new work
    you brilliant thing

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 12:54 am #

    i saw you in my dream tomorrow
    and it was blue
    you were painting me
    and i was loving you

  29. avatar
    eek | 25 April 2006 at 12:57 am #

    I’m laughing my ass off reading this one. I bet you were quite the obnoxious little twit!

    As obnoxious as I’m guessing you were, I doubt you would even come close to some of the charmers I’ve dealt with in the so-called human services field. I’m sure there are some very dedicated, caring people working in the field — I just have never dealt with any of them. The people I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with are the ones who or on their own power trips while they show utter and complete contempt for the people they are supposed to be helping.

  30. avatar
    quark | 25 April 2006 at 1:00 am #

    i’vealways been out here waiting wondering-i’ve loadsta catch up on –(blog virgin) a good lesson about wishing & gettin them–our hearts go out to you & yours–Best Hopes–Quark

  31. avatar
    speartackle | 25 April 2006 at 3:22 am #

    I never would have thought it … sk playing bass for Saga. I grew up in Canberra, though am somewhat more youthful than sk I hasten to add, and Saga was a band I absolutely despised, I mean fucking hated, they were always being hired for school dances and similar low commitment gigs where they bludged there way through 3 sets of insipid drivel. If I had known sk played in Saga I never would have bought OS&H and fallen in love with She Never Said, Chrome Injury, Korean Fighter Pilot et al fighting there way through mark opitz’s oz rock production techniques. Actually, and this is a request but a good one, I would love to hear about sks experiences in the band he played in with Dave Studdert because ds once said that he sacked sk because sk wanted to play a Jonathan Richmond song. Is it true … or has ds twisted the truth to suit himself as he so often does?

  32. avatar
    rubikon | 25 April 2006 at 9:50 am #

    I was a public servant once – many moons ago – and all Steve says is pretty much true – you have to experience it to believe it. I hated it at the time – soul destroying stuff – spending 8 hours every day of your life sitting around doing nothing – life’s too short for that – I left long before I could get used to it.

    You treated it with the contempt it deserved Steve.

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 11:49 am #

    Congratulations, SK, on succeeding, in one little blogge, in getting Pubic Savant to admit what he has denied relentlessly for years.
    Indeed, the PS is a work ‘black hole’. I knew a guy who had so little to do, they provided him with a games room! No shit, I saw it for myself: TV, couch, fridge, pool table, pinball machine, and – of course – a work buddy to keep him company. (someone has to hit the ping pong ball back, after all).
    Your tax dollars at ‘work’!

  34. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 25 April 2006 at 11:23 pm #

    Well I’m a little late on this…
    yeah all the little govt. cogs in the wheel are no doubt screwing the system
    but oh how the highest of the high u.s. of a. public servants are working so fucking hard Stevo! pay attention now!

    they’re working their fat, rich asses off destroying this country and the world. no computer porn for them! probably couldn’t spell google if their pathetic, ignoramus lives depended on it.

    they’re busy spraying buckshot at innocent quails and old, rich barristers, busy starting immoral wars and hiding the coffins coming home from our view.

    c’mon let’s give credit where credit is due!
    my hatred burns like the fire of a million suns.

  35. avatar
    don joe | 26 April 2006 at 6:00 am #

    That freak wasn’t a brain surgeon he was a psychiatrist

  36. avatar
    Amberoo | 27 April 2006 at 3:27 am #

    I love it!

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