posted on August 17, 2007 at 8:45 pm

in my dream
im touring nz again
i turn up somewhere
struggle to play my twisted music
my music thats stillborn as the 1st note hits the air
leaving the crowd puzzled and deadpan
my non guitar that warps and curls
my 12 no my 53 string guitar
the strings are all independently doing their own things
the frets are moving or like insurmountable train tracks
nothings in tune
nothings gonna stay that way
i exit the gig
my wifes with me
carrying something and looking concerned
fuck no! i scream n wail
outside in some frozen windy alaskan street scene
theyve stolen the fucking falcon!
my wife looks on sadly but saying nothing
in this bleak empty night street
an empty spot where the falcon once parked
it wasnt much
*but it was mine*
i’m wrestling some memory here
some memory of how my car was stolen
over n over again
in some parallel dream
and i angrily realise that they did it
they
always bloody them
those plotters n debtors n creditors
those olde enemies of the playground
and the scene
backstage backstabbers
mollified molls n oldstyle bodgies
the guys who worked with my father
who didnt understand me
the characters i’d met in books
who put my teeth on edge
them
a great conspiracy of ill wishing clowns
followin’ me around
now they stole my falcon in my dream
outside a long deserted gig
in the middle of the west island of nz
in this raining sleeting street
with my wife who says nothing
but looks on with deep pity
and concern
as i tear myself apart in anguish
a vision comes to me of them
stealing my falcon while i was inside playing
of course i scream wordlessly at my wife
they knew where i would be
she nods sadly like im just raving now
i see them stealing the car and laughing
swarming all over it like termites in a beam
the falcon starts up reluctantly for them
they force it to…..and it revs up angrily
as they all drive away in it
laughing themselves stupid
i can see them
i can hear them
i am in the car among them
as they speed away somewhere secret
where i’ll never see my falcon again
somewhere in nz or even further
but i understand their malice towards me
every little drop of wrath that each one sweats
in the freezing night of my dream
it all makes perfect sense to me
i never stop to say
hang on a minute
back outside the gig
the falcon is mostly gone
but shimmering tantalisingly like a mirage
returning briefly to fool me
each time this happens
my misery seems to redouble
and then
i open my eyes
in the grey light of early dawn
ive been struggling for aeons
im worn out by my anguish
i see wife and baby asleep
but feel as if i must have disturbed them
i feel now that i was mumbling and thrashing about
and they only just slept thru it by a micron
and the theft of the car is still hitting me
but the internal logic of the dream melts
as i wake more and more
yet in that dream
i had been so firmly convinced
that i was i
never thinking i was a man asleep in a bed
i was so sure it was me
and it was all happening
i never would have dreamed it was a dream
that is how this life will seem when its over i wager
you are so sure of the rock solid solidity of your world
but what do you really remember
how far back do your memories go
is it any wonder
we cannot recall
our other lives

58 Responses to “the solid book we wrote cannot be found today”

  1. avatar
    12str | 17 August 2007 at 10:13 pm #

    hi man!!
    just got home from work….gonna open up a nice bottle of wine and smoke a joint….
    feeling better?

    p

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 August 2007 at 10:14 pm #

    I imagine they love you up there along the dramatique coasts and inland empires of Alaska, the fijords entertain many a scandinavian.

    My great Uncle Lemuel, a descendant of Lemuria, saved it in that pristine state for you…..

    AA

  3. avatar
    12str | 17 August 2007 at 10:36 pm #

    what is real?
    hazy shades of black…
    summer comes to an end…
    theres a chill in the air i havent sensed for a long time…
    cant stop the seasons from changing…
    wish i could travel alongside summer…warm companionship…
    partners in heat…
    fall comes with new begginings or endings if you like…
    im in for a major change…got a new job in a distant city…
    gonna move….gotta move…i wont be able to see my sons as much as i like…it tears me apart…but i dont really have a choice…the present life is driving me to the edge of insanity…midlife crisis!
    gotta move…gotta go…gotta make something of this life…dont have time to wait for the next…
    its all for the best..

    new begginings..

    pat

  4. avatar
    JONNY HOLLYWOOD | 17 August 2007 at 10:40 pm #

    memories in future tense, haha…
    Jonny

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 August 2007 at 10:40 pm #

    there must be something in the stars at the moment,alot o folks are having the same rewound frustrating dreams,Mr.Kilbey!….don’t worry too much about dreams like that!…I sometimes dream that I can see again,but in my dream,no one believes me…or if they do momentarily believe me,they carry on as though it’s no big deal!….I see dreams like this…as a re calibration tool..look for your “reset button,and then press it! quickly!..sometimes toooo much sleep{as I had last night 12 mid til 8 am},or tooooo little sleep,mess s with your rhythms…I also dreamed some crazy stuff last night?and then alongside that…I was flying….again!and could see everything so clearly..the seasons seem so unseasonally seasoned with warmth,then a blast of cold takes us all by surprise,only to be warm,as the light of day peels back the visors…winter is almost over,lovely thing!…love,as always,genx xxxxx

  6. avatar
    mattdavison | 17 August 2007 at 10:51 pm #

    Yep!! thats a wacky dream killer.

    I can imagine I was at that gig oblivious to what thieving antics were taking place outside…

    Never fear!! Falcons are super cheap in nz and you made heeps of cash on the merch desk… So!! we head off down Wangerraka street and chuck 50 bucks over the fence at some ford dealer, there we buy a really pimped up silver falcon with big 18 inch wheels and a doof doof radio player and head for the pristine hills and ocean towns…
    nk wants to look in trendy nick nac shops, and you want a jazzie & grape juice pola-pop..

    I just sit in the falcon playing temple street for the 4th time..full volume

    Oh wait that’s my dream…….sorry

    dream crossover…

    anyway’ dreams can often feel more real then real..

    – and that’s because the deeper mind is really having an experience

    something real cool about dreams.

    pitty not a-lot get stored in memory though..

    have a great weekend
    md

  7. avatar
    NickFiction | 17 August 2007 at 11:28 pm #

    fuckin good one

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 12:12 am #

    I know what you mean sk, dreams can leave you in such a state in the morning, I suppose it makes you appreciate the “real world” when you wake up from a really bad one and think “oh shit, it was only a dream!!”. The mind’s a mysterious thing aint it?
    Have a beautiful day sk.
    love Amanda

  9. avatar
    PAGEY | 18 August 2007 at 12:24 am #

    Watch these videos here
    http://www.baitcar.com/videos
    Well worth it to see these thieves caught red-handed with hidden cams in the cars etc. Also search you-tube for “bait car” to get more pleasure watching these idiots mindless fuck-wits.

    My old 23 year old car was stolen from my back lot 2 years ago. They took my insurance and a tape adapter, that is all. It was abandoned about 4-5 blocks away. I found it there myself. Glad i got a new greener car with an imobilizer to boot.

    Great dream tale.
    g!

  10. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 18 August 2007 at 12:44 am #

    Sk with a great recitation of a harrowing and volatile dream. My dream-world is incessantly terrifying. One wonders if dreams are connections to past lives. Two Medical experts conjecture that my incapacitating panic attacks are triggered by flashbacks into my past lives. My psyche has been subverted for over thirty years by dreams and agoraphobia. Help me God and Buddha and the Creator and the Higher Power and the Eternal Spirit. Can’t handle atheists,nihilists and unforgiving religious fundamentalists.

  11. avatar
    woodsprite | 18 August 2007 at 12:48 am #

    Hmmm, the ubiquitous They and Them. I dunno, somehow I think they were all named Steve. Kinda like Agent Smith in the Matrix. 😉

  12. avatar
    the dean | 18 August 2007 at 12:57 am #

    is it that memory is a property of mind not consciencness that recall is lost?

  13. avatar
    Faye | 18 August 2007 at 1:07 am #

    got a little MGB…I can leave it parked by the side of the road,unlocked.The doors are so impossible to open M the only one person has ever really mastered the art of it..it takes a combination of the right pressure on the hinged side of the door,and the right angle,and movement of a bum slam to the other side,to even get the door open.If a theif tried to drive it off,they’d have to be a damn genius,to get the keys in the ignition,let alone divining the right amount of choke…It has a soul,that little car..I have always known,to myself,,even if it had been stolen for a minute it’d kick up it’s wheels,and come home…It’s a dreamand so simple to drive,if you can appreciate it’s characteristics,and quirks…there’s nothing quitelike the pleasure of an old,reliable,and trusty automobile,so I understand your affection for your beloved falcon{don’t falcons get “falcongitis”,on cold mornings?}…hope the sun is shining on you today SK! xo

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 1:09 am #

    I often wake up from my life and realize it’s a nightmare.

  15. avatar
    daniel12 | 18 August 2007 at 1:29 am #

    “Once I had a name , forgotten now.
    I breathed the air in a century of wonder.”

    I quite like that opening verse from your ‘dead mans dream’ song.

    I dont know if we retain a singular identity after death though.
    Perhaps it will be more like a remerging with the universe.
    You know, like a little stream returning to the ocean an all that cliche metaphor.
    In the meantime going easy on the erb might help with those things being stolen from you dreams.
    I used to have them too but they stopped when I quit the erb.

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 2:12 am #

    things can only get better SK.hiccups and horrid dreams are inevitably and eventually constructive.they let you know the value of the end result…when you woke up this morning,your car was still there,and your guitars and music are as timeless and beautiful as ever,maybe even more so,thanks to the awakening moments after the nightmares…no one could take the music away from you!…./cw x

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 2:29 am #

    Weeks away from your blog, I pull up your bookmark and out of the depths comes a truth that resonates before it sinks back from whence it came. And it is no wonder that our prior lives elude us, our current lives are headlong rushes towards an uncertain certainty, and our dreams evanesce as our eyelids stammer…

    You my friend are quite brilliant. Caustic and damaging upon occasion as well, and we must turn away and heal…

    Farrow those fields as long as you can…and thank you.

  18. avatar
    Thelonious | 18 August 2007 at 2:51 am #

    SK,did you check the falcon once awake to ensure it actually didn’t get knocked off whilst you slept & dreamt? Your blog recalled a dream I had as a kid involving me getting a typewriter. I was so excited although I can’t now understand why. Once awake I ran out to play on the typewriter only to discover of course it was all a dream. Lifes like that.

  19. avatar
    lily was here | 18 August 2007 at 3:12 am #

    Bad dream, not hunky dory at all. Tonite we’ll send out a posse to hunt down the identity thieves and the dream police to nail’em for harrassment of a mistaken identity. Do you remember that night of The Clarendon gig & the forgotten car keys?! That was unfortunately real.

    sue x

    ps daniel12, dead mans dream, gorgeous beautiful song. A friend of mine has given up the ‘erb but has also lost his passion for playing his guitar and writing music. His beautiful Cole Clark sits there forlorn & abandoned, and he cant explain it.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 3:33 am #

    apparently,some people dream in B&W…and others dream in HD colour….I think B&W would make interpretation of any dream,colder{through lack of expressive shades/depth and perspective}…a study has shown that most nightmares are feinter in colour and blurrier,than happy dreams.If only there was a way to infuse a rainbow into a nightmare,it’s interpretation would not seem as harsh. may all your dreams be in technicolour Steve!…xxA

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 3:41 am #

    Oh a bad dream!?..Dear SK…a wish for you and all of us,,for healing!sweet dreams,and a peaceful day..you deserve all of the best things in life!../.JB.

  22. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 18 August 2007 at 3:58 am #

    For three hours tonight I have been writing a manifesto on the direct correlation between the same people who torture and kill animals being the same people who attack and murder humans.

    My background music has been the two El Momento Church acoustic CD’s, Beside Yourself, Isidore and Uninvited Like The Clouds. Nothing can be more audibly assuaging to the ears, brain, soul and heart(including my deteriating organs).

    Robert Smith may arguably be The Cure?

    Steve Kilbey is inarguably The Panacea !

    Julian Cope loves nature’s bona fide dope.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 5:00 am #

    BrienComeford…xxx…you are a very special and unique soul!I think you are one of those people….who was “just meant to be”..this earth needs souls like you!take care of yourself…and if I may…a good thing to stay away from,if you are an anxious type is…acidic foods,rosemary,mint,caffeine n other stimulants etc.get yourself a good quality lavender oil,and focus on your own importance whilst you are being aware of your breathing{deep breaths,and slow}..U R great!….genx

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 5:33 am #

    I could be knocked over with a feather and sleep like a stone; at LEAST eight hours to my guestimation would do!! ha, genx! it’s still friday here.

    There’s a luminous crescent in the sky Sue C…so I can’t blame it on a full moon tonight.

    ah mattyd, my dad had a 2 door golden ’63 ford falcon when we were growing up in the ’60’s and ’70’s…that was a sweet little car! It wasn’t our fambley car- just a cool ‘lil father of six car. such memories you guys evoke!

    Love,
    AA in CA

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 5:52 am #

    ‘a great conspiracy of ill wishing clowns’

    I know those guys. A malevolent, malignant presence.

    They’ve been hanging around my unconcious realms as well….they make you wake up sweating.

    B.Bon

  26. avatar
    ...and the beat goes on | 18 August 2007 at 6:37 am #

    ereiamsk, your field reporter of dreams sea side by the ocean for the first time this summer, remember a dream is just a dream, inside it seems

    a dreamer sees all, but all encompasses the all so how could a dream be real?

    questions without answers…

    i will ask the sea

    tomorrow.

    mem

  27. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 6:39 am #

    AA in CA…good evening,beautiful one!…have you ever been to Oz?…it’s a pretty special place!My ancestry is scottish/french/irish{as my dad says “were mongrels}..I was born in Sydney,but my dad was from Canberra,and my mum grew up in a suburb of Sydney called”Ryde”..It’s amazing that such a huge country,can seem so accessible,coz most of us live near the coast…and Hey!.now with the internet you are in the corner of my room,my friend…..all this talk of cars,and my inherited passion is aircraft…I remember being the only 8yr old I knew who had been upside down in an AVRO{kinda like a “tigermoth” i.e.bi plane}.My dad had such a love for vintage aircraft,he made a tourist attraction of it.I used to work there on the weekends,and sometimes my Naughty friends and I would get dressed up in the era styled clothing,and pretend to be manequins in the aircraft or vintage cars..mmmm…the things you do when yer young???when we had floods in the valley where I grew up,my dad would get out his “hovercraft”and thats how we’d get around,til the water subsided….Surreal?well,that’s a grand understatement!..um?some relevance?…sometimes{most times,actually}flying,is less of a nightmare,than the gridlock,and parking fines,and rego and insuranceetc… xxxlove to you,genx

  28. avatar
    sharka | 18 August 2007 at 7:17 am #

    Steve,

    I think I saw your Falcon in Rathdowne Street, Carlton.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 7:18 am #

    and AA..just one more surreal moment for you…once a month,in the grounds of the air museum,we used to put on a “Jazz Picnic”for all who wanted to enjoy it,,that would smash through,and melt away a whole sunday afternoon/night!…”This is Australia”…xxx..genx

  30. avatar
    buttcheek | 18 August 2007 at 8:11 am #

    i had a dream about seeing you guys in memphis and someone stole my van.

  31. avatar
    davem | 18 August 2007 at 8:19 am #

    Not a problem.
    I regularly dream that I’m the Steve Hackett of the 53-string guitar. You ought to hear Horizons on it!!!

  32. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 8:21 am #

    OI! buttcheek! X

  33. avatar
    craig1.618 | 18 August 2007 at 8:21 am #

    *In Lak’ech*

  34. avatar
    Mighty Mouse | 18 August 2007 at 8:37 am #

    let me at m…

  35. avatar
    your ensurance policy | 18 August 2007 at 9:36 am #

    we’ll cover you! Rain,hail,and shine!…we’ll drape golden locks over your vehicle,and the mere visages of these two shimmering fixtures, will have any theives ,ward the other theives away…even if there were to be no theives ever?…Oh,what a beautiful image!

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 9:46 am #

    what is that reader community over there? to the right. Over there. Should i join? why?

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 10:08 am #

    put the kettle on SK…and have a chammomile tea!nothing like it to pacify the soul…

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 10:38 am #

    i generally don’t remember my dreams…but i do remember a series of dreams that i had a few years ago of falling off a tall building and waking up just as i was starting my descent…i used to wake up screaming…jesus…
    also had a period of time where i’d wake up during the night and i SWEAR that there was a milky, disembodied, cocoon-shaped white light floating above me just below the ceiling…i shit you not, but i’m damned if i know what it was…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 10:50 am #

    HH…am very glad you woke up before you fell to the ground…the milky entity IS exactly who you think it is xxx genx

  40. avatar
    eek | 18 August 2007 at 11:09 am #

    I have weird dreams sometimes. Nothing really profound, just weird enough for a laugh. Except the ones where the bridge I’m crossing has no roadbed — I don’t laugh at those. I hate crossing bridges. >:

  41. avatar
    timf | 18 August 2007 at 11:32 am #

    i feel sorry for davem AND Steve Hackett.

    I often dream i am entangled in some sort of entanglement with both stevie nicks AND christine mcvie.

    i usually wake up dripping and throw up shortly after the memory hits.

  42. avatar
    ????????????????????? | 18 August 2007 at 12:13 pm #

    These kind of dreams,drive me crazy******!..the ones where you are shaking and shuddering,in sweat soaked sheets.Wrestling,and writhing with not so imaginary beasts..The air around you seems to sink,and when you are drifting in and out of that dreamstate,and a moment of consciousness shoots through you,you try so hard to muffle the noises that are about to burst out,in case you wake the neighbours ..some nights I’ll come out of this state to find that the pillows are scattered all over the room,or I’ve ripped my nightclothes…there’s got to be a reason for dreams like this..hope you dream better tonight sk!

  43. avatar
    confucious | 18 August 2007 at 12:45 pm #

    Time to get a new car.

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 1:22 pm #

    10:13 – you left the electric blanket on 3?

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 1:29 pm #

    11!?

  46. avatar
    veleska1970 | 18 August 2007 at 2:57 pm #

    what a horrible nightmare!!! i hate those kind of dreams~~where you don’t know if it’s really happening or not. but then, just what exactly is “reality”, anyway? how do we know what we experience when we are asleep isn’t reality, and what we experience when we are up and moving around isn’t the dream?

    i had a car stolen once~~summer of 2000. it was taken from in front of my french quarter apartment. the police found it across town 4 days later. yeah, i got it back, but it was never the same car after that~~from then on i always had transmission problems. the asshole(s) had dogged the shit out of it. AND it was kinda creepy driving it afterwards, knowing that some unseen person or persons that i didn’t know was in it, doing God knows what, going God knows where….**eewwwww**

    you’re probably asleep right now as i write this, so i hope you have sweeter dreams this evening.

    lotza love…..

  47. avatar
    knot | 18 August 2007 at 3:10 pm #

    riding the parallel
    dark beam of light
    my dreams also of theft
    my house emptied
    my crystal stolen
    3 dreams of the severed hand

  48. avatar
    kat | 18 August 2007 at 4:21 pm #

    well, i really don’t have my car.. which is another nightmare. have you ever seen the movie the out of towners, sk? starring jack lemon? thats kind of what your dream reminded me of.

    happy weekend, all!! ;]=~~

  49. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 18 August 2007 at 5:39 pm #

    Dear Gen X:

    You’re right about deep breathing lowering blood pressure and anxiety. The Kinks Dave Davies utilized it as a means to recover from a stroke.

    SK and Sting do the idyllic thing, specifically, Yoga.

  50. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 6:14 pm #

    Bewley Brothers is still Bowie’s best song, innit.

  51. avatar
    Renee | 18 August 2007 at 7:28 pm #

    Cold hearted orb
    That rules the night
    Removes the colours
    From our sight
    Red is gray and
    Yellow white
    But we decide
    Which is right
    And
    Which is an Illusion

    ~Moody Blues “Nights in White Satin”

    I had some of those same thoughts myself recently,
    you know about what is the pupose of our existence,
    why are we here,
    what happens after we’re dead
    I realized that I shouldn’t think too hard about it
    it kinda got me depressed and made my brain hurt
    I guess its not for us to know…yet

    XXOO

  52. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 7:44 pm #

    Ah, god no genx- I haven’t been to OZ yet. I keep watching the travel shows on the evening magaizines: your queenslander in the bush- it’s breezy and warm like Sonoma, we have inherited your Eucalyptis trees in CA, hence the fires!! Thank you- they’re a beautiful tree and belong in this hue.

    I’m more diverse myself- my dad’s side is british, norweigian, scottish, portugese…My mom’s side is Austrian, Russian, Chek, Polish and Rodney Dangerfield acting (rolls eyes nervously).

    It sounds like you were close with your dad too! My dad used to take flying lessons, dust our crops, etc. He later got diabetes…so sad. I don’t fly myself around- I’m better at letting others do that!! I’m good with a car, my bike, running, swimming…hahah.

    A couple of generations back- the family owned a newspaper and our family still owns too much property around the University of Idaho, where my home town of Moscow is. I wish to develope an artists community there or elsewhere in the world!!

    I’m honored to know more about you, and so glad you asked…your tea-rose pistaccio icecream sounds divine!!

    In the meantime…Love,

    ArtAmused

  53. avatar
    JONNY HOLLYWOOD | 18 August 2007 at 8:41 pm #

    so what happened to me book me wrote and you supposedly finished on me July 28th???
    Ne iko

  54. avatar
    Anonymous | 18 August 2007 at 9:34 pm #

    AA…sounds beautiful,where you are,as well!..I’m so close to the city,where I am,that I can hear the main clock,in the centre of the main square chiming,and ringing out it’sgloriously insistant,timeless bells…though I’m so close to the city,I still have the most incredible “wildlife”in my garden,and in my house…there’s a blue tongue lizard living under the banana tree,in my little back yard.we have visits on a nightly basis,from very cheeky and presumptuous possums{they seem to have the idea that the big fruit bowl was actually laid out for them especially}I used to have a great little vege garden…BUT,the possums turned it into their own buffet…there is a green tree frog who calls my front garden home,and the house is full of gekkos,the garden,full of dragonflies{they seem to be my fancy..frogs,and dragonflies}…would love to have you for some little delicacies{as they appear to be your soft spot,as well}Artists colony?..sounds very cool!tell me where it is…and I’ll be there,in a flash!….love to you..xxx genx …P.S…Your ancestry has me completely fascinated…wow!…what an amazing person and how extraordinary you must really be

  55. avatar
    ben | 18 August 2007 at 10:01 pm #

    thanks for keeping us entertained, kilby. i havent been able too remember my dreams lately, for whatever reason. i have discovered that all things that occur naturally also have a spiritual counterpart for our instruction. dreams sort of work backwards than when conscious, allowing you too look from the spiritual too the natural realm.

  56. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2007 at 1:07 am #

    oh my ancestry, my divine line, oh that! yes, yes, I’m right up there with a certain TB! I joke! I’m ok, I am. You’re the beautiful one!!

    Oh, that is meant that my home town is Moscow, ID. and I live near San Fran.

    AA

  57. avatar
    Anonymous | 19 August 2007 at 1:11 am #

    oh thanks for reminding me Johnny…I got into this other conversation!! back to you- I’m just a correspondant in the fields.

    AA

  58. avatar
    John Garratt | 21 August 2007 at 2:41 pm #

    I heard that someone stole Johnny Marr’s guitar…while he was on stage playing another guitar.

    John Garratt


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