posted on July 13, 2009 at 2:20 pm

here i sit in quebec city
feeling bereft
feeling lonely
feeling quite small
we did our final gig last nite
and tim
and trevor our lighting guy
and craig wilson our keyboards player
and jorden brebach our sound guy
and craig beck our guitar tech
and stephen judge our record company n merch man
have all departed
i feel kinda like a child in my irrational loneliness
suddenly no more long drives
me n tim sitting up the front
having long musical n philosophical arguments
we kept each other awake during them long hauls
them long halls of black night
after we’d played the gig
after we’d packed up
when you had gone home n was sleeping
me n tim n all the rest in our 2 vans
were speeding down the road somewhere
in the middle of nowhere
now its over
the fellowship dissolved
i always feel sad n panicky when tours end
tho in a couple of weeks
itll seem like it never happened…..sigh
anyway last night
a packed theatre full of all ages
part of art festival
on before us
2 local softish rock acts
the second playing with bras n panties chucked at them
n now hanging off the guitars
both acts were good in their own innocuous way
i guess
i was neutral
the first act got a riotous encore
from the packed house
we hit the stage
let me say
we had a blinder
we sounded
and played like masters
there were few mistakes
the changeovers were smooth
we were delicate
we were rough
we were just right
and guess what
a crowd of about 150 people stood down the front cheering
the rest
one by one by two by one
they didnt stay n listen
people had bought tickets to the festival
and just come in to see the others
stayed out of curiosity
but sure enough
they left
the worst thing an audience can do
is leave…
by the time we finished
there was probably 80 people left
outta that standing room only crowd
the balconies long dark n peopleless
the sea of flashing lapel lights they were wearing
now an odd red glimmer
i was demoralised
we had played a blinder
and they left
the average random person there
other than the “diehards” had left
hadnt we converted one person there?
didnt seem like it
we are not crowd pleasers
we gave it our best
and they left
an audience cannot do a worse thing than leave
staying n throwing stuff is almost better
but they left
left right left right
i try to discuss this with others
turns into a bit of a heated discussion
contained but tense
the others dont appreciate my “pessimism”
n fair enough
i say its because of my voice
and they fiercely disagree
anyway it ended in jokes n smiles
pete n marty are still here
we have a day n nite off
in quebec city
my point is this
we do not impress a random bunch of people
everyone made many excuses for the audiences disappearance
it was monday tomorrow
the local guys were quite big stars
we were too loud after the softish other bands
we didnt speak french
blah blah blah
but if it had been an act with the x factor
the crowd woulda stayed
or at least a lot lot more
than were there at the end
i feel dejected over this rejection
i thought maybe by now
we wood be good
to appeal to any bunch of western adults
but in quebec
they just didnt want it
they didnt get it
they just shrugged
n exited quietly
as they split
i became less n less animated
until by the end
i could hardly even bear to look up
i kept my eyes closed
and i stared at my bass
we still played great though
jorden had pulled a great sound
but i was sad to see our marginal utility
at such a low ebb…
the tour itself fills me with mixed emotions
the long drives were dangerous
i am sleep deprived n cant seem to make it up
i look haggard n old its true
but remember
i am old
i am fully my nearly 55 years
i see myself aging daily
the tour has left my nerves frazzled
i feel sad in a bad way
we played really bloody well
new york
they were real good ones
the actual crowd numbers were slightly down in most places
nowhere did we make any real gains
we had 2 to 3 hundred most nights
of course
i am thankful for every single one of those people
if things continue to dwindle
one must concede that eventually
it will not be possible to tour anywhere
unless ticket prices go up n up
as crowds slowly get smaller n smaller
until 50 people
will be paying 100 bucks each
to see us play
in some empty place
remedies? :
festivals to get exposure to bigger crowds …
but last night shows
we are an acquired taste
we dont slay anyone who isnt willing to be slain
we are hypnotists that can only hypnotise
15 per cent of the people…
opening up for a big act the same deal
we tend not to pinch others crowds
its a historical fact
so i dont know…
i didnt make as much merch money as i had foolishly hoped
tho no one let me down
and the buyers were generous
we sold out early of certain items of mine
which would have generated me more income
had i had any acumen
but we ran out of stuff early on
and i missed opportunities
due to stupidity n bad timing
i fear i wont be returning home with too much of a swag
all of the figures wont be in for a while
but its not gonna be as good as i hoped or needed
i wont be rolling up in sweden cashed up
n able to do all the things i hoped with the twillies
you know, spoil em a little
because theyve had precious little of that from me
next i got the bad news last nite
(hadda take a xanny to getto sleep)
from my wonderful accountant dave
who does it for me gratis
that the tax office in aust
aint accepting my repayment scedule i have proposed
to pay em back at 1000 a month for 4 years
lord knows where i was gonna pull that 250 a week from
but i was gonna try
they say its not quick enough
hey i can see their point
but it would be impossible to pay anymore
when every thing in my financial world seems to contract
i dont know what they can do
the fact is i own nothing
ive blown it all in so many ways
its my fault
i am not asking for sympathy or advice
i am talking to you
because its too late to call australia now
and because it helps me to get this off my chest
if youre feeling sorry for me ..dont!
i really did cause this mess
it started long ago
i lost everything eventually
either thru heroin n then thru the crash after sept 11
i dont know what taxman will take
all i have is my four guitars
nothing else
a bit of furniture well used by children
no stocks no bonds no property
as a songwriter im one of the best
as a fiscally responsible person i am useless tho’
i have never defaulted on my taxes before
and i have always claimed honestly
i have never cheated em of dough
i have no credit card n no credit card debt
i fear being made “bankrupt”
tho i dont really know what that means exactly
i cant travel overseas? (great…thatll help em get the dough back)
a thing in the sydney morning herald classifieds
steven j kilbee is now bankrupt
avoid his broke ass like the plague
they literally cant get blood from a stone
so it’ll at least be “interesting” to see how this plays out
i hope i am not forced to leave sydney
the fear of this plagues me
it would destroy me a little
i hope the taxman can be reasonable
a strange place that i stand in
typical steve kilbey
he created all this
he destroyed all this
ever my blessing
ever my curse
ok now im looking for a miracle
im looking for a big art prize
or a role in a film
or get a song in a movie
or i dont know what the fuck!
i feeling low
i am not printing nasty comments for a while
nor reading them even
so dont waste your time
with the “suck it ups”
i feel my very existence
and that of my fam is under threat
and i feel bad for them
because i mismanaged things
we had those two good years cos utmw
was on all those tv shows
i got the money
i neglected to put any aside for tax
and i/we splurged
after a few very lean years
it was stupid but natural
if i could play every night somewhere
i would
i would play or act or paint or read or talk
or whatever people wanted me to do
if i could
every nite of the week
but the demand does not exist
hardly any one knows or cares
how much i have improved
too little too late
the english press that powerful thing
for whatever reason
ignore us
the great reviews in aust n in the u.s.
have not really had much effect
but it #23 could be a slow long burner
god knows it does take a few spins to get into it
but when you do
who else can do that kinda thing?
a handfull of others on this whole planet
we are criminally underrated
we are criminally neglected
we blew it a long time ago
n we never recovered
i believe the future for the church is not necessarily all dark
our wonderful patron klk
has agreed to fund our next record
with generous funding to make it possible
thats a true bright light at the end of some tunnel
once again n not for the last time
i/we salute his generosity
all he gets out of it is satisfaction (sometimes but this time)
we are playing better than ever
we are fierce and hard n hungry n all the rest
yet still
they gradually left last night
we are not accessible to the hoi polloi
tomorrow we drive to ny
next day week in sweden
thanks for hanging in there fiends
this has been a very honest report
i hope you can grok it
i hope it gives you some insight into my life
i hope it wasnt too much information
i tell it like it is
this is my journal
i am the time being

118 Responses to “the time being : an overview of things”

  1. avatar
    andmoreagain | 13 July 2009 at 3:45 pm #

    Jeez Steve. What a bleak situation. I trust everything will turn out alright. You gotta trust that the very fact that you are making yourself visible by touring means that old fans and new ones will discover and rediscover your stuff. I know I have spent a lot of cash on old and new stuff since the Seattle show. My friends were notified and if they could not make the show they bought the new album so cheer up. There's more of a long term effect by touring.

  2. avatar
    andmoreagain | 13 July 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    Keep on. You are far from forgotten. I and many others still spread the word one person at a time. I've converted many girlfriends and friends over the years.

  3. avatar
    Paige | 13 July 2009 at 3:50 pm #

    Lots of love & best wishes. If I had anything more, I'd gladly share. Enjoy your time with Elli and Minna. You do't need cash to give love.

  4. avatar
    veleska1970 | 13 July 2009 at 4:10 pm #

    PEOPLE LEFT??!?!?!!!! what the hell's the matter with them??? people aren't very receptive to genius, are they? i'm sorry that happened. "i feel dejected over this rejection" that's a horrible feeling to experience. you feel so unwanted.

    and i'm sorry you're having money troubles. hopefully you can figure out something to appease the tax man.

    lotza love…..

  5. avatar
    Ron | 13 July 2009 at 4:13 pm #

    I have to admit this post brought more than one tear to my eye. I have been buying music for 40plus years and seeing concerts for about 33 years.

    I love my Church albums and seeing you guys at the State in Va was great.

    This past Sunday I read about a guy that got a large following via the Internet and had more buying tickets (at the 9:30 club) in DC than you guys sold at the State.

    I gave him a listen, and he is not worthy to carry your equipment.

    Why does he have more that follow him? His age? Something New? A story?

    You guys need something to wake people up.

    Record a song with another Rocker, tell the world you are going to go on a hunger strike, play a gig from the South Pole (Way Under the Milky Way)

    Get in a Movie, make a Movie.

    Play for a King or a Queen.

    Point out that based on the ratings of your albums on you are the best rated band since the Stones/Beatles.

    Whatever you do, just don't stop doing what you do.

    And maybe, get fans to sign up for a special concert (yes over $100 a ticket)why not it might make the papers.

    Play Vegas?

    Less shows, more sleep, less driving?

  6. avatar
    restaurant mark | 13 July 2009 at 4:22 pm #

    it's not too much information steve. i appreciate your honesty, and everyone needs an outlet for their frustrations and worries. i would never try to give you any sort of financial advice…my business has disappeared totally. every time we get our head above water we slip back under. just hanging on ourselves…and i know so many who are in the same situation…or at least a similar one.
    as far as the audience leaving…their loss! as brilliant as the church is, you guys will always be somewhat of an acquired taste…either you get it, or you don't. obviously those of us do probably can't really understand why others don't. all i can say is some people just can't go that deep. i'm thrilled to hear you got the funding for the next record. i expect nothing less than brilliance…and pretty positive i'll get it. thanks man…for the music, your words, your time, and opening up.
    take care

  7. avatar
    A. Kite | 13 July 2009 at 4:26 pm #

    "…Criminally underrated" … Truer words have never been spoken.

    I am grateful, as a fan, for KLK's continued involvement with future records, as every fan should be.

    Re: future tours: I know I'd be one of those 50 people that would gladly pay $100. In fact, whenever I buy a ticket to a Church show I can't believe how little I pay. Perhaps you should ask your hardest-core fans to partially sponsor your tours… you may be surprised at the generosity.

    I'll be sending in my TTB subscription next week. God knows I've been digging this blog for years now.

    Enjoy your time in Sweden.


    Ps. Re: The taxman: Being an accountant I can tell you that they can't squeeze blood from a turnip. So don't worry too much, my friend. Dave should be able to work this out for you.

  8. avatar
    Chela | 13 July 2009 at 4:33 pm #

    How about a "bring a friend" promotion. Everyone attending a future Church gig has the option of bringing someone who isn't a Church enthusiast by purchasing an extra ticket at half price. Or can purchase a second LP/CD/T-Shirt at half price for "promotion" purposes.
    GAH! I dunno…

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 4:52 pm #

    $100 for a ticket would be a steal the way you guys are playing.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 4:55 pm #

    Difficult to know what to say in response to this post. All I know for sure is that The Church have been pretty much a constant in my life for much of the last 28 years, though I've only managed to see the band live 3 times (twice in 82, then 2002).

    I'm not going to lie, sometimes I have trouble getting into certain albums, but then I have memories of the first time I heard Heyday and P=A and being blown away. #23 took me a few listens, but I've had that warm fuzzy glow when it 'hit', and there's been wee tear-welling sessions (of a happy sort) on a number of occasions.

    I dunno what happened here in the UK. Maybe in the 80s there was a tendency to try to 'box' The Church as an Oz equivalent to The Smiths? But that never quite fit.

    I wish there was something that I could do to help your situation, and I hope you can satisfactorily resolve some of the issues that have been plaguing you recently.

  11. avatar
    bjmcwilliams | 13 July 2009 at 4:55 pm #

    VIP Passes? Some older bands with diehard fan-base are selling expensive VIP tickets which lets them take part in a meet-and-greet after the show. I think a lot of people on this list would be willing to do something like that.

    Update Website and sell more downloads? Other than that, the more you can sell your downloads online through digital distribution and retain as much of the profit as possible – the better! It sounds like you are running your own label now which is good – maybe it's time to update the band website and sell downloads directly through it – rare tracks, alternate versions, etc.

    How do we quantify the value of what you do when it has meant so much to so many people?

    Best to you and your family and thanks for your blog.


  12. avatar
    M E M | 13 July 2009 at 4:56 pm #

    somehow i just
    want to weep
    i'd pay 100,000
    for a
    ticket if
    i could
    and that i
    u know in
    some bastard
    universe those
    meet up
    those who
    arrive late
    and are just
    as unfortunate
    [[fait de compli]]
    van gogh
    died of
    & misery
    it wasnt even
    about his
    a godam
    to the world
    (and look,
    who can
    afford one
    he was
    he had
    no one
    a hollow
    voice in
    his head
    is there
    in all
    i don't
    i think
    corn field


  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 4:59 pm #


  14. avatar
    12str | 13 July 2009 at 5:06 pm #

    hell Steve
    this wont break ya…!
    Painkiller,K&K,your art, U#23..youre right now investing in your and your familys future with loads of brilliant material…
    Hang in there man,you´ll end on top of this in the`ve got it in you!!
    So snap out of it and go enjoy your stay in Sweden..
    its gonna be alright..!!


  15. avatar
    glynnisjohns | 13 July 2009 at 5:08 pm #

    I have always felt guilty i could not do more to help.

    I appreciate the honesty my friend.
    I most definitely appreciate what you do for all of us.

    take care,

  16. avatar
    m stricklin | 13 July 2009 at 5:21 pm #

    quit yer bitchin'. They're called bootstraps – pull on 'em. You're not too old, you're not too obscure. You're just you, you're The Church – brilliant thing that it is. No lights are dimming, no fans a fading. It's your mind beating you with your age. There are many of us that feel that kindred pain. Make more music… it's what you do, as well, if not better than anyone else. It will all be over with before you know it. Be sure that it was a fun ride and that you found the things that attempted to elude you. Or, wallow in self-pity. But self- pity makes mice of men. All the best to you, Mr Steve. You're far from alone.

  17. avatar
    W Street | 13 July 2009 at 5:42 pm #

    I am utterly speechless.

    The enthusiasm and the talent, the brilliance of your American tour–it's all documented here. I don't know how anyone could walk away from any of the songs in your set unless they were damaged people, incapable of hearing anything decent. I saw who the two acts are that went on before you on the festival webpage–whoop de doo.

    You are going to find a way to break through. Something is going to switch on one day and that will be it. You're looking at things as a sequence of events leading up to now; the rest of what happens is in your hands.

    I think it has more to do with the sickeningly poor state of the music business than anything else. This has to be one of the worst times, ever, to be a recording artist of your caliber.

    Do you know where the answer is? On the Internet. Delivering your music to people in a personal way is probably going to be the way to go.

    I want you to get with someone who knows a thing or two about the Internet, and commerce, and I want you to look at artists similar in some ways to yourself who are finding a way to survive and thrive, as it were, online.

    This is probably not the answer, but it could help you see a new way of getting yourself organized. The reference point is with Kristin Hersh:

    Strange Angels
    What is a Strange Angel?

    The short answer is, Strange Angels are people who financially support Kristin’s work in return for things like free music downloads, free tickets to gigs, free CDs and access to special content. This financial support can take the form of a simple quarterly subscription – or even fancier things like studio visits and executive producer credits. Here’s the long story:

    Since October 2007, after opting out of her recording contracts, Kristin has been uploading one new studio recording every month, free for anyone to download here and on her CASH Music page. Each new song is offered as mp3 files – as well as lossless FLAC format. (there’s a lot more info on FLAC files here, check it out). Kristin also includes lyrics and an essay about the new song.

    It’s been truly amazing to see what happens when we eliminate the middle man and bring the music directly to you, the audience. The community we hope to foster is participatory, supportive, and beneficial to you and Kristin, both. It may help to think of Kristin’s CASH project as a battery, two poles sending energy back and forth. The artist standing at one pole and the audience at the other — creative energy flowing between these two points. Kristin makes the initial investment of money, resources, time and ideas. But that’s only the beginning.

    Via Kristin’s CASH Music page you’re asked to interact with this output, assess it, be inspired by it, enhancing it’s value. Once that value is perceived you are asked to contribute accordingly — your money, your ideas, your effort, or all of the above. To that end, Kristin also uploads the raw recording files as “stems”. Please consider using these files as a starting point and bring your own vision and creative ideas into the mix. Really. It’d be so cool to hear what you’d do if you were part of the session. Think about getting your hands dirty in that way and uploading the result to Kristin’s RW page.

    You and the Kristin are stake holders in common. You both want the art to continue…

    Kristin isn't rich, but she's able to live. Can you contact her?

    I can't think of a more innovative way to do what you need to do–put your music in the hands of people who want it in exchange for money. There is nothing wrong with this–you should be able to sit at home, turn on a tape recorder, and record something that people like me will pay you for. You should be able to get paid for what you can do and there are legions of fans who will do this; all you need to do now is figure out your own way of setting this up and then do it.

    Good luck.

  18. avatar
    Altres | 13 July 2009 at 6:00 pm #

    The Church's musical integrity and your combined talents are all fully intact and ready to explode. You are not too old by a long shot. I saw Neil Young two weeks ago and he set the stage on fire at 64. He seemed quite young up there, kneeling before the alter of his eventually destroyed guitar.

    In my heart of hearts I feel this is a new chapter in the future history of my favourite band ever to swagger through musical fields. I hasten to add I have imaculate taste.

    The Church Army should start requesting tracks from Untitled #23 to be played everywhere and anywhere. Online and on-airwaves radio stations, lend copies to their friends, embed tracks onto websites for people to hear. Prog fans, psychedelic fans, Floyd fans, indie fans.

    The thing about the Church is that it does take a while to let the sound permeate. One song doesn't do it, but a second listen of just about any album does it.

    Let's combine our abilities within the Church to SERIOUSLY make the world listen.

    Onwards and forever upwards. And start feeling young again, 'cause you have the power and the days are still heavily weighted in your favour.


  19. avatar
    Cee | 13 July 2009 at 6:02 pm #

    Great advice from W Street…

    How can we get a Church song on Tony Bourdain's No Reservations

    an episode of LOST/Mythbusters/Time Warp/UTMW would've rocked on Battlestar Galactica…

    insert your favorite show here _____

    It's brainstorming time!

  20. avatar
    Andy Axel | 13 July 2009 at 6:02 pm #


    I had to travel to get to see you, and I know a number of people from Nashville who did the same thing. While it's difficult for me to understand why people would leave your shows early, I think that the point remains that they came.

    This Saturday, I sat five feet from Peter Holsapple and Chris Stamey, formerly known as The dB's. This was at a club that would hold a few hundred but I doubt that there were 40 present. In Nashville. On a Saturday night. "Criminally underappreciated" is how I would describe this. But for the 40 people who were there, they were treated to a 90 minute, transcendent set of heartfelt, well-crafted, and memorable songs.

    While it is sad that Stamey & Holsapple weren't more of a draw, it was a hell of a gift that the band gave to the people who were there. I am eternally grateful for artists who "play a blinder" when the audience is less than capacity. I saw The Posies do this a few years ago, playing a raucous show against the flavor of the month across town. I'll remember that night far more clearly than I ever will recall the performance from the next disposable craze or from the sold-out arena gig, where the show is absent any soul or intimacy or immediacy or those things that make music so special in live performance.

    Thanks for all you do. I've been a fan since I was given a dubbed copy of "Heyday" on cassette in 1986 — the US release which included "The View" and "As You Will." Talk about a blinder.

    –Andy W.
    Nashville TN

  21. avatar
    plumlady | 13 July 2009 at 6:04 pm #

    I know the stress of financial shortcomings. Layoffs today at my big, fat, corporate large health insurance company…folks who have been here for 30 years, too old to be employable for all the youngies out there interviewing. Some of my pals have done things like dye their hair to look younger for the interviews. Shit, it sucks to be getting older. Then later today I head off to my evening job, as a bill collector no less, for another very large corporate America company; listening to folks across the whole country who can't afford to pay their bills. My job is to try and make 'em pay, or I could lose my job…..the irony of it all as I try to pay off my enormous debt at 50 years old, knowing that it will never disappear.

    But in all honestly, I'd wrack up another $100 on that VISA card to see a Church show; wouldn't think twice about it. And bringing along a newbie for half price would be great. I did bring a newbie to the Mpls show, who loved it. He's a musician only familiar with the very early Church recordings; and he absolutely loved it. Bought both the new #23 and Adam Franklin's disk too. I would still want to the buy the box set if it becomes available via web site. And I'm looking at the art too. All would be valued by me to be collectible memories for my old age enjoyment, perhaps long after I'm too old to go see any more Church shows…but then you guys will be the same age so probably only touring at your local nursing home.

    Kidding Steve, you look excellent for a man of your middle years. You've got a lot of talent, energy and much more music to share with all of us as time goes on. You certainly toured like 20 year olds and your just about as "hot" as most twenty somethings too.

    Looking forward to more honest blogs once you're back home and things turn around for you, as they certainly will in time. You'll see!

  22. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 13 July 2009 at 6:11 pm #

    I would never feel sorry for you, but you've broken my heart with this blog. I've had my own share of troubles lately – haven't we all – so in ways I can relate. I'm still grieving over the fact that due to health reasons I had to miss your gig. I can't fathom people walking out of your show! You'd have to pull me out of a Church show, kicking and screaming.

    You're a strong man. And you are not OLD! I hate when you say that. You are lovely and you will survive this. This too shall pass. I will fill this box with cliches, haha. You are stronger than all of this. I wish this didn't sound so cliched. But I believe in you. I have faith in you.

    I admire you immensely but you know that. I have been through my fair share of tragedy and shit in my 42 years – not to brag – hahaha – but I have seen so many times how in the end, things have a way of working out. I pray this for you.
    Love always,
    P.S. Big hug. { }

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 6:14 pm #

    In Portland we were talking about your voice. You're killin' it man. You sound better than you ever have. The band, better than ever. Older, wiser. The right part in the right place…
    There is an energy right now. Tap into it again once you're all rested. Once the insanity of sleep depravation has left you. The cool northern european summer breezes will soothe you.
    The next album could be something different. Why? Because we know you are all smart enough to know how to write a great pop song. And we would never down you for it. Well, someone may, but how do they pay their bills?
    I can hear the new(future)album. Filled with the power that is The Church sound…but glorious in a way that will force the masses to listen. Did'nt Ray say "Give the people what they want".
    Your voice is already at the next level. Go one higher and get Marty to listen to those Badfinger records again(ha) and make the music so good people cannot deny it. They have to have it.
    And finally, fuck all those who would even whisper sellout. Because part of being creative is showing your diversity. And you haven't explored the very accessible yet. And that…is what the "people" want. And that pays the bills.
    There's nothing wrong with consciously creating something to make money!!

  24. avatar
    Craig Miller | 13 July 2009 at 6:16 pm #

    Go see Anvil: The Story of Anvil. Hope springs eternal. And remember something someone once told me, "It's never as good as I hoped or as bad as I feared."

    Get some sleep. And know that there are enough of us devoted fans to keep you making music for a long long time. How much does it really cost for you guy to make a record these days? I'm sure there would be many benefactors willing to pitch in, including myself.

    And know that you've got this one fan who is dying to use some church music in one of his ads and bring you some much needed exposure. They say you reap what you sow, and maybe struggling now is part of reaping some of the bad things you've sown that you've mentioned. But you've sown a hell of a lot of good things in the last few years, and I'm confident the reaping will come.

    Thank you for all you do. I'm still doing yoga and still veggie, because you inspired me to do it. And none of that would have happened without you guys going on tour.

  25. avatar
    Matt Mac Haffie | 13 July 2009 at 6:23 pm #

    And so there you have it a little bit of data for the media stream.

    Good seeing you Steve.

  26. avatar
    frank | 13 July 2009 at 7:18 pm #

    Zee French Canadians can be a bit aloof and snobbish it's their MO so I wouldn't be hard on yourself about that. It is too bad that that was your last stop. You should have gone out in NYC.

    What about doing the coffee house circuit here in the states? Do some readings, play some tunes tell some stories you have to have a million of those. You could book it with the family maybe get a RV and travel around for the summer.

    I am turning 55 myself this year but on the bright side that there are more of us pensioners all the time…we need to organize and start the revolution!!!!!

    You made allot of people happy this tour but Devo had it right….its called De-evolution. You are a thinking mans (woman’s) band in an age of instant gratification.

    I think that things will turn out well for you and your family,you put out allot of good karma on this tour and it will come back to you.


  27. avatar
    pwebb | 13 July 2009 at 7:49 pm #

    Band income suggestion: Sell live recordings!

    I personally am salivating at just the thought of the trove of soundboard recordings you guys must have stashed away from over the years. Every few months (weeks?) you could make one of these shows available for purchase and download through your website – in a lossless format, no production/distribution/artwork costs necessary. I think your fans would eat these up.

    I would love to begin replacing my worn out, high generation, old bootleg tapes with good soundboard recordings (especially shows from the 80's, as most of the more recent audience recordings sound pretty good).

    And you wouldn't have to pick out the "perfect" show(s) – we'll take whatever you give us, warts-and-all, as it is the subtle differences between the shows that make them unique, including missed notes, improvised lyrics, and clever banter. Choose some shows with historical interest, perhaps containing songs that weren't often played live, or the specific shows that Lurie talks about in his book.

    The Church live is a very different experience from the studio incarnation – maybe making more of the live experience available would encourage more people to see it in person?

    Anyway, thanks again for a memorable tour, and enjoy Sweden.

  28. avatar
    CSTCoach | 13 July 2009 at 7:52 pm #

    man, i hear ya re: the post project letdown. I always feel lost for days after finishing a project, or after a trip. i just mope around the house, surfing the net, too morose to do any work or even to read. it never fails. and i've never figured out what to do about it.

    re: people leaving. i agree with you that objectively good is objectively good. talent is talent, bottom line. but what about the observer? shakespeare himself could read his plays to a group of monkeys and, regardless of how great it was, only a few would be interested in the sounds he was making. The rest would scratch, groom each other, and wander off for a banana (i'm NOT comparing Quebeckers to monkeys! talking audiences in general). If the group you're playing to isn't equipped to receive you, it doesn't matter how good you are.

    i think any artist is always playing to a small core group of people who understand their stuff. Those "artists" who appeal to the masses are playing to the dumbed down pitiful average. Sad but true.

    No worries man, Sweden will fix ya up. I can honestly say that being spoiled with money and presents never meant much to me. But those times i spent hanging out with my dad did.

    that's terrible about the taxman (bastards). but as A Kite said above, they can't take what you don't have. I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it. Those big faceless organizations try to bully and scare you, it's what they do. don't buy their game. better to sit back with your accountant and plot your next move strategically.

    i think the secret today lies in hitting the right online angle. Something that allows you to reach the most people while keeping production and overhead costs low. I think The Church is well on that track, as are you with all these projects you've been releasing directly. The other key is to build an online tribe of "evangelists" who enthusiastically spread the word about your work. You're already doing that here. You don't have to reach everyone. you just have to reach those people who run out and spread the word.

    some fiendss have posted great ideas in that regard above. i for one am always willing to pitch in and abuse my network to spread the word!! Time to get to work…

    and thanks time being for always being honest, and never talking down…

  29. avatar
    Freddie | 13 July 2009 at 7:59 pm #

    Wow…that’s so inconceivable how folks would walk out.
    I traveled many miles to catch a show; just as so many others.
    The Church shows are awesome but perhaps the other events
    drew such a different crowd…wow….I certainly wish I could’ve been there.

    (sigh) the Taxman.
    Worry is written all over your face
    in both today and yesterday’s photos.
    When it rains it pours, eh? (hugs) Hang in there.
    Try to calm your mind. The Taxman wants his money
    but if he goes too far, he’ll never get it.
    I know that’s not much help but you’re resourceful and gifted.

    As always you’re in my thoughts and prayers.


  30. avatar
    davem | 13 July 2009 at 8:16 pm #

    You deserve so much better.
    I keep coming back to this Friends of the church thingy. Sue's mentioned it before. It's been mentioned here and elsewhere that it's worked for Marillion?
    There must be enough of us willing to dig in on a regular basis for the best effing band in the world? 2,000 of us at $100 a year is $50,000 each a year for the band that each of you can supplement in your own unique and individual ways.
    Whenever I post something like this it's greeted by silence, but it's got to be worth us all looking at surely? How much has this band given each of us? Sadly, we all know that true needs supporting.
    The world can be a stupid, twisted place. I'd be gutted to live in it without SK's ongoing magic.
    Love to all.

  31. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 13 July 2009 at 8:26 pm #

    love on ya esskay, one day the whole world will know and understand who THE CHURCH are and they will bow…
    Jonny Hollywood

  32. avatar
    frostatmidnight | 13 July 2009 at 8:35 pm #

    I really never know what to say in situations when people are down, but you know that things will get better soon and everything will be all right, somehow, some way. Just have faith.

    Please don't be upset because people left the festival early. These people have the festival mentality and would've left no matter who was playing. Be happy that you don't appeal to the lowest common denominator. You make music you love that other people in turn love also, and what could be better than that? Cheer up and smile. You've got your band and family and everyone else who care about you and you're never alone.


  33. avatar
    Rik Rehab | 13 July 2009 at 8:36 pm #

    Wow, great post Steve. Such honesty and bravery…I admire you even more for it. I too have been through that whole tax thing…7 years of running, ducking, hiding…it's a total shitter and utterly demoralising. All I can say is, I 'prayed' for a miracle and it was delivered in ways I could never have imagined…financially, spiritually and personally. Never give up hope my friend. You truly are a gift to this world.


  34. avatar
    SALLY (Toronto) | 13 July 2009 at 8:53 pm #

    I don't know what is wrong with Canada as a whole re embracing your music, and to hear about the Quebec Show is heartbreaking. I need to get a Canadian fan base going. I've sat shyly quiet for too long! I need to take advantage of Effbook and Twatter and all the social networking sites…glad I got to see you play anyway!

  35. avatar
    Nick | 13 July 2009 at 8:55 pm #

    thanks so much for the tour! was a bit bummed out reading about your problems. reality sucks! I'll say it again thanks for toughing out a long hard tour to entertain us US " churchites " we LOVE ya!!!! Nick Fiction

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 8:59 pm #

    So cool to see Seattle at the top of the list of places you favor in your memory. That was a cool club and the band… I think that was the one and only C H U R C H. How lovely to meet you (a couple of times) in person after all these years my friend.

    IF you ever find yourself contemplating Seattle as a place you could rock out consecutively, look me up for a small place to stay.

    oh yes, #23 deserves many spins in all of its' glorious abstractions and fine details. I love the artful titles of songs and look forward to savoring the album through and until the next!! God Bless klk <3

    Some Friendly,
    Laurie Garrison

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 9:02 pm #

    Some musings from Cracker/Camper Van Beethoven's David Lowery you might find interesting, or might not:

    You have peers guesting on the record, like John Doe and Patterson Hood from Drive-By Truckers. Feel an affinity with them?

    Sure, those guys have lived the same kind of life as we have. We've had some of the same musical trajectory, meaning we've been a little under the radar, or under-rated. So I relate to those guys, absolutely.

    Cracker have been termed "alt-rock godfathers." That make you feel old or proud?

    I like that, it's a compliment. I don't have a problem with getting older, though who said that quote that "youth is wasted on the young"?

    You now have a serious body of work behind you.

    Well, you can take pride in that, but it's a double-edged sword. You think, "well, why don't I have the fame and fortune that some of these other bands have?" You have to be careful about being prideful. I don't want to sit around and dwell on that all day.

    Cracker did grab commercial success early on.

    Yes, and the weird thing is that songs like "Low" and "Eurotrash Girl" are probably played more today worldwide than when they were hits. Guess they're seen as classic or something. I can objectively measure that as you get paid a very small royalty every time a song is played on the radio. There aren't many things in this business you can measure objectively, so that is something you can hold onto. They love "Eurotrash Girl" in Argentina. Go figure!

    Does Cracker now attract a younger age group too?

    We attract some, but not really at the rate I'd like. It's interesting that when we do attract younger fans, they tend to come from punk rock. Kids who would self-identify as punk rockers seem to like what we do.

  38. avatar
    david | 13 July 2009 at 9:24 pm #

    Steve – just read No Sir, Tan Tea Attached, and if all those stories are true, you can certainly navigate this tax situation. Comments about kids wanting your time, not money and activities, are right on as well. Love, love, love. Talk, encourage, hug, let them know you believe in them.

    As for fast cash ideas, I vote for some type of digital-only Kilbey release available exclusively at this blog. It could be a simple recording of you singing a handful of songs at home — give us music in this element, and we're bound to love it, like the writing you give us in this personal space. Give visitors a private concert for just a few bucks. And then everyone who buys the inexpensive yet cool recording via PayPal is eligible for a drawing to win one of your original paintings.

    We can do this! We can pay your tax bill! Yes we can, yes we can.

  39. avatar
    Renee | 13 July 2009 at 9:34 pm #

    there isn't anything i can say
    that hasn't already been said
    so here's a bunch of hugs and kisses


    We do love you and everything that you create
    i know it doesn't pay the bills
    but you need to trust god that it will work itself out

    you're in my thoughts and prayers

  40. avatar
    esne snoner | 13 July 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    simple sk – you need a manager – someone you can trust completely as much as you do your bandmates, your sound and lighting chaps, your wife, your kids – someone who actually understands and loves everything you do and have done and can then do the right thing by you and your fans

    their job – wake up people – not just the punters but those that can spread the word – editors of newspapers, magazines, websites, promoters, agents, etc that this band are literally living legends with a back catalogue of material of the absolute highest calibre by anyone's standard and totally capable and willing to deliver it live (as just proven)

    you need also to get your current live show recorded in hd dvd – capture where you are at – make it a collectors item initially – package it beautifully, number or sign every copy and flog every one for $100 or more – the many but scattered long-time fans would lap it up – the cost of production should be an Australian Council grant for e.g. the producers of the best single of all time

    drop the clips onto youtube, promote the dvd in association with the cover story on the monthly or the good weekend or some other (non-musical) mag about the last band standing

    …and please – get a new website – it's all looking a bit tired and lacklustre – volunteers – me for one

    anyway sk enjoy your time in sweden – sounds like that will be a brilliant contrast to the struggle of touring and the cocoon of the fambley

  41. avatar
    the dean | 13 July 2009 at 9:46 pm #

    the thought is often worse than the reality…not much help…hang in there, you do great things

  42. avatar
    Warpedjohn | 13 July 2009 at 10:06 pm #


    its a pity that bunch of philistines' gig was the last and not say, mid-tour -where you would have shrugged it off as the abberation that it was.
    they obviously had come for their local heroes and weren't there for the Church. Their ( tremendous) loss.
    DON'T LET IT SPOIL the fact that the rest of the tour was great.

  43. avatar
    Ellen | 13 July 2009 at 10:13 pm #

    "…we do not impress a random bunch of people…"

    That's the TRUTH! Whatever the numbers be, your fans are not "random" folk, Steve. Your musicianship and artistry transcend the "top 40" typical garbage one hears on the radio these days. Like great jazz and classical music, people must LISTEN to your music – sometimes several times.

    We live in a "sound bite" world where far too many people simply no longer have the patience to actually listen and take their time to relish your music. sigh…

    Frankly, when [not if] you return to play in Los Angeles, I don't care if you are appearing in someone's backyard. I for one am deeply grateful and fully appreciate artists who do not sell out!

    Thank you, Steve, for touring and for allowing this "newbie" fan to see and hear you perform live. It was truly an unforgettable evening and I plan on seeing you again, darn it!

    Have a safe journey home. Have a wonderful time with your daughters in Sweden and know that your family anxiously awaits your return home.

    God bless.

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 10:13 pm #

    thats a fckn nightmare! wish i could help,but am not in the best financial shape at the mo either! but if i win the lottery,i'll bail u out!
    and as for the crowd that left…..THE CHURCH being my all-time fave band since i first came across your music 20 years ago,i think its fair to say true musical genius,and usually the songs that stay with you the longest,often happen to take longer to seep through.I didnt get Aura on the 1st listen,but on the 7th,it hit me,and its been my all-time favourite song since 1992 and still is,(and from time to time i still turn a few folk onto it)despite the sheer amount of music i like n gigs i go to…its exactly the same with my no.2 fave band – EXIT CALM,(unsigned) when i first saw them i was blown away by their show but their music takes longer for you to fully appreciate.Through the live show its easier to convert folk,but musically some folk dont have the patience to discover how it can work on you over multiple listens…for me this band are my english CHURCH apparently they have been told by more than a few people now that they remind them of THE CHURCH!..if you come to play england at any time,you should get them on as your support..then i can die having experienced the ultimate spacerock gig….will send ya a cd via belfrank….hope a solution pops up for you money-wise somehow


  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 10:21 pm #

    I was in contact with Stephen Judge a few times during the tour, and suggested that you guys should maybe get in touch with Marillion (who have managed to successfully sustain their career by setting up their own label). I notice that someone else has already mentioned Kristen Hersh's example above.

    I remember being particularly annoyed about copies of Back with Two Beasts and Remindlessness appearing on Ebay just after your visit to Chicago (near $50 and $100 respectively, because you' scribbled on it with a black marker pen). I'm not happy because it seems there are still other people out to make a killing from your art.

    I get the feeling that there are a lot of people who may be able to offer support and advice, and it seems that it may be worth assessing options available .

    While I don't want to be left feeling cheated (Jammed, for example, isn't my fave Church release), I feel that there must be a way that you guys can be releasing material more often? If you managed to release #23 + 2 EPs, then I would suggest that there would be some business sense in looking to release mini-LP's (5 or 6 songs) on a more regular basis?

    The internet has certainly changed the way that people acquire music, but I'm still a bit of a traditionalist and like to have the physical copy. However, in these times you need to consider how you can work with 'emergence', and make use of the opportunities that can be taken with a bit of business acumen n nous.

    In summary, don't be ripping off the fans, but maybe look to not let yourself be ripped off. Shit, I remember writing a note to you way back when Carrere were your record company, (and got the reply 'Yeah, Carrere are fucked'). You're olde enough to be wise to the wide boys now, make a list for yourself.

    Just want you to succeed, n rise above the shit

    Ach, a bit of a waffle tonite, but felt it necessary

  46. avatar
    stealthblue | 13 July 2009 at 10:29 pm #

    Well, I was slayed many moons ago by the knights of The Church, and my heart has been bleedin' for ya ever since I was a wee, scrawny lad of 14…that's well over 22 years now!! What can I say that anyone else here hasn't? I love you guys like brothers…plain and simple. Also, we have been given access to your sometimes very private thoughs and experiences, and naturally we feel closer to you. I've learned an immeasureable lot from you. I honestly do not know of anyone who would do what you do, not just as a musician, but as a man…a human being. You indeed are The Time Being. The Choich has indeed been probably the most prevalent "soundtrack" to my my life as well and all I can do is offer my deepest heart-felt thank you and wishes for success, now and in the future. I hate to hear you talk like this, but what hurts the most, is knowing you're hurting and this is truly how you feel and what you are really experiencing. Obviously we hate to see ya down, just like we hate to see any loved one "down." Honestly, Steve, if (when)I had (have) ANY "real" dosh, then you would (will)too. At the moment, I am just not that "liquid" when it comes to this eeky existence…as soon as you have any money, you never really had it anyway; bills-n-shit! I promise that IF and WHEN it ever happens by my own hard work or just pure dumb luck that my mug is over-spilling, I will take care of those who are special in my life, and you, SK, (and the other fellas) are on that list. I swear on my life I would live up to that "if"…and when.

    It's only because you deserve it plain and simple. Your family deserves it, the Church deserve success in every sense of the word. Yeah, maybe you fucked up a few things in the past, but honestly, WHO HASN'T?? (If there are any smart asses here, just shut it, no one wants you here anyway!) We just gotta chip-up, Kilbo. The world is tough enough, let alone life and all the financial ruckus. The actual truth is, you're successful in so many ways…and you have a family that loves you very much, as it is evident in all you do and the way you are NOW. That is what counts.

    I dunno, man, I just feel there really is some sort of "piece of the pie" for you and the band still. It's just around the corner. I mean, you guys are LEGENDS in your own time. I'm not just saying that trying to be a "kiss-ass", it's just true. Plain and simple. This tour was indeed phenominal. I mean that as a friend to you and the band. When I saw you guys walk out on stage in Chicago, man I got goose-bumps, just thinking…"they're right here!"

    Regarding the Merch, all I can add is that WHEN you guys tour next time, perhaps you could pre-send a box or two to certain cities to one of our houses. (In order to be short-supplied) I'm serious, I would gladly store a box or two and bring it to the show on time, etc. As opposed to you guys having to lug it all over the place, etc. Just a thought.

    Anyway, dear brother, You're absolutely right about the "blood out of a rock" thing. There is only so much any of us gan give at any one time, especially when it come to the almighty schilling. So, please, try not to beat yourself up too much, about ANYTHING! Like that show? Shit, they just weren't tuned in, that's all. Next time, don't play a blues fest (for God's sake), play the bloody Lollapalooza or something! That would be HUGE, and there are plenty of new receivers in a situation like that. Fuck man, people KNOW who the Church are, they just don't know what they are up to unless people like us push the issue. I wish you all the love and success in the world, a part or a song in a new big-fucking-mega-huge blockbuster!! May the next album finally reach that "xyz" crowd as opposed to just the "x" type crowd. Yeah? Hey, you know we'll help you out as much as we can. Just know that.
    Hang in there, Steve-o. We'll all be alright. YOU will be alright.

    With much love and respect and sincerest gratitude,

    Ben A.V.
    Chicago, IL, Planet Erf, Some cube in a box

  47. avatar
    stealthblue | 13 July 2009 at 10:30 pm #


  48. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2009 at 10:33 pm #


    You finished your tour at the wrong venue. don't read more into it than that.

    I saw you in Falls Church. The show was killer.

    Untitled #23 is a killer album.

    If you were selling Earthed, I would have bought a copy, espec knowing I could get the damned thing signed. I bought Lurie's book. I would have bought the "so love will find us 2009 tour" poster, but it weren't for sale. didn't see one. I would have bought some original artwork, but didn't see none.

    I think maybe the problem w/ the tour numbers is with the management – there have been very little promotion for these shows and the new record. The only way I found out was thru your website. someone's got to get the word out. I drove up from NC. But happy to do it.

    Happy to throw some money yer way, man.

    Your artwork will trade for thousands at some point. keep doing it. yer work is good.

    Also, go home, rest, chill, love yer family, then make the killer double record. yer a musician. it's in yer blood. gotta keep being you.

    Money is the root of all mediocrity. I think Steve Kilbey said that.

    but, guess it is a necessary evil.

    Once my book gets published, I will give your band royalties. I will also sponsor you.

    Come on back to States for one more spin around. Why so quick to leave? how about the fall tour? please, please, please.

    The Church is still here, playing great music, awesome music.

    Thanks for it. Thank you.

    Wilfred Paradise.

  49. avatar
    Richard | 13 July 2009 at 10:36 pm #

    I got an email at work the other day from someone who'd used my work car and was desperate to know who was playing on the cd player

    I gave her the lowdown and I'm sure she's since bought #23

    There's still plenty more out there SK – they just need help finding you

  50. avatar
    eek | 13 July 2009 at 11:01 pm #

    I cried reading this.

    I loved this tour. So much about it was great. But looking around the venues I just couldn't shake the feeling that there just weren't enough people. I hate being right about this kind of thing.

    Being someone who has long "gotten" the Church I doubt I will ever truly understand why so many don't. For years I thought everyone had at least a couple of Church albums in their collections. When I figured out not everyone did, I though if they could just hear you they would hear what I heard. But your music just doesn't appeal to the masses. I feel sorry for them because they don't know what they are missing, but I hurt for you because you put your heart and soul into this music and see it ignored.

    "they left
    the worst thing an audience can do
    is leave…"

    I'm always surprised when I see people leaving shows before they are over. I don't think I have ever left a concert early — even when I didn't really like the band. It just seems like such a slap in the face that I can't bring myself to do it. I've also only very rarely done the drinks/bathroom break during a show for the same reason. I just can't imagine telling a musician that I'd rather take a piss than listen to his/her song — but that's what taking a bathroom break is (although I must admit when you really gotta go, you gotta go!).

    I adore you and the Church, Steve. And I will always be on your side.

  51. avatar
    princey | 13 July 2009 at 11:06 pm #

    Hi sk, it breaks my heart to hear all this, I really thought the band would come out of this tour with LOTS of extra hard earned cash to ease the debts back home etc. I'm not one to give financial advice either, so all I can say is to try and stay positive, think of all the good stuff you have in your life. Please take care of yourself sk and enjoy your time with the girls in beautiful Sweden:))
    Love Amanda

  52. avatar
    kyle farley | 13 July 2009 at 11:11 pm #


  53. avatar
    Shawn El | 13 July 2009 at 11:15 pm #

    What, exactly, is the taxman going to do if you can't meet the repayment schedule? I mean, if you have nothing for him to take, then it seems like he's got no choice but to take whatever he can get, be it the 1000/month or 5,10,20 whatever you have.

    I tell myself the same thing, for when dear uncle sam comes knocking at my door to demand all of my student debt back when the repayment schedules kick in (about 6 months' time from now). They will get their money back – but will have to wait till I have it.

    BTW, The Church on tour was amazing this time around. It was my fifth tour. Strangely the songs sounded more vital and relevant than ever – even the older standards. Hope you guys can keep on producing in whatever way possible.

  54. avatar
    matt davison | 13 July 2009 at 11:17 pm #

    Remember the life of Jesus SK… that should put some perspective on it… and if he was a lead singer in a band It would be the CHURCH- Things will get better…… Just hold on before you make em all so beautiful….. chin up !! go love ya girls…. thats free "well except for the flights etc…… Godbless


  55. avatar
    simonlawlor | 13 July 2009 at 11:44 pm #

    i'd pay $300 for a ticket

  56. avatar
    wtbaucom | 13 July 2009 at 11:55 pm #

    100.00 a ticket… I'll take two for Chicago, Detroit, and somewhere else! Just say when!

  57. avatar
    meh | 14 July 2009 at 12:01 am #

    Audiences at festival shows are usually more populated by average-seeking flotsam with some time to kill. Their leaving is not a rejection of The Church's performance – it is, however, clearly indicative of the fact that they walk through their lives asleep to all but the crap they get spoon fed every day.
    I, for one, would gladly pay a bit more to see you guys. Hell, I flew from London to Dublin to see just you and Marty do an acoustic show. And the next day, as I hovered over a nice cuppa at Bewley's w/you and a few others, I failed to say something as simple as: "Thanks for the music, man." But I do remember having a serious upper respiratory fogging me up. (I still cringe a little when I think of my lung-belching cough during the movie. Heheh.)
    So, thanks for the music, man. I can't come up with words to explain what the music means to me. It's just like a part of my own mind was out there somewhere and found me, you know? So, pass the sentiment along to the rest, if you please. And, hey, The Church is one of those bands which inspired me to dream up my own festival tour: The Tour of Intelligent Rock. Featuring your band (obviously), along with another seriously underrated band: The Fixx. There'd be others, of course…but that'd just be to fill the lineup. Keen on the idea? What? I can dream, can't I?
    Bummer to hear about the roughness you're having, hope it gets sorted a little better for you. Insert cheezy platitude: "And this, too, shall pass."
    Aw, look, I'm driveling all over myself here. Good thing these comments are up for approval.

  58. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 12:13 am #

    Hey, great tour! Especially that KANSAS CITY show! What? They did WHAT?? Oh, never mind then…………

  59. avatar
    dcb | 14 July 2009 at 12:22 am #

    Dude, if you come 'round Albany again, I'll pony up $100 a ticket!

  60. avatar
    Kim Chestney | 14 July 2009 at 12:26 am #

    My psychic powers say everything will be just fine. [finer than fine, even]

    Remember how full the glass is.


  61. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 12:27 am #

    Do what you love, do it well, and it will be okay.

    Find what you despise, do it well, and it will be okay.

  62. avatar
    steve kilbey | 14 July 2009 at 1:21 am #

    to my dear friends all over the world
    thank you for your messages of hope
    your faith is my drug
    your pleasure is my reward
    i will bat on
    into the sunset
    its too dark to see
    sk quebec 2009

  63. avatar
    Thelonious | 14 July 2009 at 1:22 am #

    Love you SK. All blessings & Grace to you.

  64. avatar
    A.M. | 14 July 2009 at 1:31 am #

    Thank you for telling it like it is. In my humble opinion, along with your music (which also tells it like it is), it's your greatest gift. Most beautiful indeed and not necessarily easy to grok by the masses. However, that does not diminish its brilliance or value. Ah, the least of under-appreciated is long my friend–you know how it goes.

    Sending love to you and yours. Hoping the twillies are well and wishing you a safe return to NK and the girls.

  65. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 1:31 am #

    much much love to you steve…thats all i can say…

  66. avatar
    Shawn El | 14 July 2009 at 1:36 am #

    BTW festivals are kind of a crapshoot for any band, I imagine. I admit that I spent most of the Radiohead set at a summer festival last year in line for beer. It sounds like in this case maybe you just weren't at a festival for music lovers but rather sightseers and gawkers. It's a shame; some of my best live music experiences have been at festivals seeing some band I had never heard before.

  67. avatar
    Earthfriend | 14 July 2009 at 1:40 am #

    SK your music touches more peoples hearts and lives than you will ever know. money and stuff, none of that matters…keep following your muse, please for the love of God and all that is right and good in the world, we need you to keep doing so

  68. avatar
    Sigur | 14 July 2009 at 1:50 am #

    I've only made above poverty level one year in my 17 years of filing tax.
    But if I had the money to splurge, I would definitely help out The Church. As I did, when I was a teenager, using up my weekly savings on the merch.

    I was hoping I could make a music video for you guys out of my pocket but never got a chance to present my idea.
    I was hoping my senior short film which I used your music would've fared better in the festivals. To everyone's surprise, it didn't.
    I sent a copy to Karmic Hit a couple of years, requesting permission but never got a reply.
    Wonder if you even knew?
    Maybe you'll let me make a surreal biopic of you?

    You guys make intelligent music and unfortunately, the masses lack the intelligence to appreciate good music.

  69. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 1:52 am #

    $100 for a Church concert in Detroit? Count me in!

    Some money generating tips:

    1) Sell your original paintings…$500-$1000?
    2) Sell original album cover posters from the early years (Seance, Heyday, Blurred Crusade, etc.)
    3) Digital downloads of rare tracks.
    4) Box set of rare/unreleased material
    5) Collaborate with MK again, and again
    6) Stream an acoustic concert live from Bondi
    7) Play bass on or produce my next CD 🙂
    8) Offer online bass lessons for $25 for a half hour
    9) More t-shirt designs – Blurred Crusade, Skins & Heart
    10) Re-mastered early recordings on vinyl

    …..Hot Rod in GR

  70. avatar
    Craig Miller | 14 July 2009 at 2:05 am #

    fuckin' a.

  71. avatar
    JJ | 14 July 2009 at 2:11 am #

    I first heard The Church on WRAS Ga. State Univ. Radio here in Atlanta, in, oh 1986. Was a tune called "Columbus" and I was transfixed, listening intentently for the DeeJay to run through his playlist so I would know who it was. Went out, bought Heyday – and felt the excitement of discovery and wonder, when you find new music that captures how you feel, validates your life and circumstances. Then UTMW, on same radio, rushed out and bought Starfish – more transcendence. Saw the band live at Center Stage here that tour, each one of you an avatar to me, Ploogie too. Then Metropolis, out to Turtle Records to buy GAF. Then – good god – I remember bringing home the majestic, soaring, sweeping Priest = Aura and was speechless after first hearing it. I saw every tour from Starfish on, multiple cities sometimes.

    Magician – your creative well continues to run deep; that is the amazing thing about this band, is that you never dried up, never went flaccid, stale, boring, as so many bands have done in the past. I was listening to "I Kept Everything" last night – I don't know how you make the unconscious connections, go inside my head and extract my feelings, my loss and longing, and capture it with such dreamlike beauty. From Day 5 to Maya, to Pangea, to Ionian Blues, to all the little gems on AQSAS like The Feast (one of my favourites to this day).

    Your body of work is enormous, full of depth, emotion, confusion, clarity – the whole gamut of the human experience from conscious to subconscious. And it continues to flow. You have much more to offer. So much is serendipitous, so much a result of the work, effort and inspiration put forth – the two trajectories can coincide again as they did in 1988, and have for other artists later in their careers. It happens, and can happen here.

    I'm glad I was able to come up and see the show at the Ridgefield – the magic poured forth and filled the hall and my head once again. Go enjoy some downtime with Eve and Aurora, get some rest for the restless, and don't read tea leaves from one cup out of 20+ shows.

    I can't count the number of times I've encountered people, a conversation on music ensues, I mention seeing a show or new album by The Church, and they say "they have a new album?" or "wow, I wish I had known they were on tour"…….somehow awareness of the band's new albums and tours needs to get communicated much more broadly than it is. Take heart, TTB.

    Age – I was also born in 1954. I don't feel old, so I refuse to accept any preconceptions of what "old" is. Fuck 'em, ha.

    For what it's worth, White Hippy Moses – you and the band have enriched my life. Enjoy your time with the girls.

    Best Always,

  72. avatar
    David Connell | 14 July 2009 at 2:24 am #

    I hate to say this but you guys obviously need better management. Why weren't you at Glastonbury? Bonnaroo? One of the other tons of summer festivals? Play two nights in Chicago, LA, NY, and cities where you draw instead of freaking Grand Rapids, MI. Sell live shows on the website. Hell, put ANYTHING on the website.

    I don't know. I just get pissed when I think of how one of the best and creative bands of the last 30 years is playing to 80 people in the middle of nowhere.

    By the way, DON'T watch that Anvil movie. That depressed me too. Please don't give up the hunger and creative juices. Your (few) fans NEED you guys. I know that won't pay the bills, but it is better than most jobs people have. You have changed thousands of lives with your work, whether you know it or not. How many people in the world can say that…..

  73. avatar
    Melquiades | 14 July 2009 at 2:32 am #

    feel the love.

    you are the rarified air
    for that many others
    in this time and age
    don't have the lungs
    to process this thin arial substance
    keep plugging on
    You are more than music

    love Brian

  74. avatar
    bjmcwilliams | 14 July 2009 at 2:44 am #

    +1 – Friends of the Church
    +1 – Sell songs thru site/blog with text about the process.
    +1 – New website. There are people with skills haunting this blog and elsewhere who will help.
    +1 – Sincerely ask this group to offer their expertise – be it web related work, selling downloads, suggesting merchandise they want to buy, finding a new angle, etc, etc, etc. and the people will come forward.

    This show of support is truly inspiring. Carry on Steve – the world needs you. There would be an empty hole without your music.


  75. avatar
    nickp | 14 July 2009 at 2:56 am #

    Truly bummed to hear about your tax woes. Really hope that things will get better soon. Very glad to hear klk is going to fund the recording of another new album.

  76. avatar
    richie24u2 | 14 July 2009 at 3:32 am #

    It's because we love ya Killer! Your continued existence enriches and enlightens our lives every day.

    You never fail to show us the man you are, the human being in The Time Being.

    This is why we are hooked. You're not some untouchable egotist rock star (though you sometimes try to be 😉

    You're not only here for us you're here WITH us. Thank you for that.

    Please tell me you have some video tapes of this tour that you can toss onto a DVD. My favorite thing is turning friends onto The Church, and a live video or album would be just the thing to bring them into the congregation.

    PLEASE chronicle this amazing experience you've given us and WE will spread the word as is our passion. We'll do the rest…

    Then love may find us all!

    Now go spend time with those OTHER masterpieces you have created 😉

    Peace my friend!

  77. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 3:33 am #

    What did you have in mind when composed "Paradox" song?

    I always think about women because they can be a headache at the same time we just love them..they are paradoxal, don't you think?

  78. avatar
    Belfrank | 14 July 2009 at 3:37 am #

    The Church will win SK.
    Too many of us want you to and will help.
    We'd miss what you all do in our lives too much, so it's not an option.
    Safe travels and take only the memories of the high points with you to Sweden and back home.
    It was the best I have seen the band play and you even got to kiss a tree!


  79. avatar
    Self_90 | 14 July 2009 at 3:37 am #


    Please keep your fate! I was at that show last night! and i had gone to the New-York one on the 8th of July.

    I traveled from my place 3 hours to last night and 6 hours to New york.

    And i would pay 200$ to see a show where we would have the pleasure to chose the songs with you guys!! Could be fun a interactive show! think about it!

    It was the first time, after all those years. that i could see your show!

    It was so good! both of them! OK Quebec city is not the best place to finish a tour i admit, And quebec is a bit "fancy" you would have been better of in Montréal i think! but still people leaving had nothing to do with your music. They just didn't know!

    Both shows made me want to see you again! please comeback 55 is still so young!

    The new album is so good! I just loved Space Saviour and the way it rocked!

    you guys were good extremely good at both shows! let's say that the ambiance was not there last night!

    like someone said next time finish it in NY! i'll still drive 6 hours.
    and people will still come from PERU

    Thake care, rest and rock again!
    your music is food for my soul.

  80. avatar
    plumlady | 14 July 2009 at 3:46 am #

    Just saw my local news with a guy walking a hire wire today in Quebec City….had to do a double take to make sure it wasn't you. We'd all be so devastated if anything happened to you. Your music is OUR DRUG.

  81. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 3:47 am #

    Hey Steve,

    First up, well done and congratulations on completing the tour intact!

    I've just re-read this blog, and i must thankyou for your honesty and openess (as always). Most of my sentiments are echoed by others here, so i won't go into detail too much…

    I feel your disillusionment, coz i know it hurts, it cuts pretty deep – especially when you're putting EVERYTHING into it!
    Still, there's always another gig around the corner to help turn things around…

    I reckon the tax people (or even Kevin Rudd) should read this blog…maybe then they'd understand what you're up against and how hard you're trying…then again, to them i guess only money talks.

    I know you said not to feel sorry for you and i won't – just sad is all, as I just hate the injustice of the situation and really feel for you, your family and all the band members, it just doesn't seem fair! At least there is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel re the next album so that is something i guess…life goes on.

    What to do? The idea's come thick 'n fast but they're for another day/time maybe…

    Enjoy S.W. Eden, and Home when you finally arrive 🙂


    Jon from Geelong.

  82. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 3:54 am #

    THe economy sucks, all of your fans from the 80s-90s all have kids to attend to. So of course tickets/crowds are way down. A lot of acts avoided the states last year cause of the 4.00 a gallon gas prices- and then diesel for trucks! HAH! even more- Times are tough, its not anything you did personally, so shut it up! LOL! AND these days there are soooo many options to go out and spend your money on than we were kids. The buzz is catching on tho about all these shite bands today are recycled 80s stuff and people ARE realizing who the craftmasters really are! Believe me a zillion idiots like MJAckson, great not me- i like the Church and the FIXX and some other great bands that didnt get a lot of primo recognition in their heyday while polluted with this majority rules the cash register acts… Just because your popular doesnt make better/smarter/ nicer, just part of the machine…

    Q? If all the Madonna/MJackson fans jumped off a bridge, would you… Not me, i'd be applauding- and still listening to the CHURCH on my ipod as i walked back off the bridge alone…

    EVerything popular is WRONG ! O.Wilde

    PS: Im the redheaded coldwar painter you blew off in Buffalo, but i still came to see ya in Albany- everyone has their bad days- : ) YOu have more talent than the whole RnROll Hall of Fame combined- ANd you do have a distinctiv gift- See ya out on the road again, hopefully it will not be another 20 years to see you guys- last time was 1989….

    <> Diamond (Art/Design School Teacher)

  83. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 4:06 am #

    we (4)drove 8 hours from n.carolina to see you in falls church…also saw you in pittsburgh with the good wife. brilliant blinding shows. my 9 year old had a nice conversation with mwp. my 14 year old bought #23 and gave it to his girlfriend's family. the whole family can't stop playing it. thank you for the 23 years you've been the biggest musical part of my life.

    love ya man,
    richard, good wife, aidan and wil.

  84. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 4:35 am #

    that last gig…well it was a gig that you obviously weren't meant to play. These things happen and it left an awful taste in your mouth.
    Have you ever considered writing a weekly column for a newspaper or music rag? If you can come up with this on a daily basis …you'd not only steal the show and make people notice but in the process some will also check out your music.
    my 2 cents…you dont deserve to be in this predicament….but if its any consolation…some of us doing boring jobs are not faring much better. Money issues suck big time

  85. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 4:47 am #

    Methinks a solid financial solution lies in the royalties already in the vault and not being used.
    We need to use our collective brainpower to comb the archives, pick out a song or two that has potential to be used in a commercial, sports event, whatever and find a way to get it out there.

    As SK jokes on his dvd, "Who you trying to get in touch with" would be a great jingle for a phone company.
    Seriously, we need to try something like that. It would be silly in it's own way, probably mis-used or whatnot, but it would be EXPOSURE. And with that, there could be literally millions of people who follow their curiosity of "Who sings that song?" that would discover the whole glorious history.

    Our task: Nominate a song (with a strong emphasis on a catchy or uniquely applicable lyric), determine it's best marketing potential and work together to take the next step and get it done.

    I just listened to a song that would have been perfect last week, but it slips my mind now.
    Let the process begin!!!

    Ansible Jon

  86. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 4:50 am #

    Have no fear SK, I forsee the church is on the edge of a breakthrough, all now is just momentum to achieve something extraordinary,

    have you thought of making instrumental music for tv shows or movies, you could license it or something

    The Road Will Rise!

  87. avatar
    Atha | 14 July 2009 at 4:58 am #

    Fuck it. You are fated to die broke. All the great poets and painters did. You do want to be remembered as a great one, right? Then, there it is. Someone will make a movie about you after your dead and you'll become a cult hero. Tonight the role of SK will be played by…

  88. avatar
    prince michael PELAO III | 14 July 2009 at 5:18 am #

    grokking, and loving the music, as ever….all is fine, thick and theremin…greetings from scorch.

  89. avatar
    WantonMyth | 14 July 2009 at 6:23 am #

    The Quebec crowd walking away is a great irony…
    You're gonna make it.

  90. avatar
    melissa | 14 July 2009 at 7:35 am #

    SK, we love you and the churchy here very much 🙂 Please don't despair … no matter how miserable things seem, something good will eventually show up.

    Hang in there and take good care,

    lotsa love & light


  91. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 7:43 am #

    I personally know 8 people that would pay $100 any day of the week to see the Church play, and they would do it regularly if it was an available option. All of us between 21 & 36. I brought 4 of them with me to see you at the Roxy. Keep your head up Steve. There are a lot of people in your corner. You are The Man, The Myth, The Legend… Believe it or not it may be that your best days, and The Church's, are still ahead. For all we know you could have a #1 hit come out of nowhere. Just remember… Sometimes the Sun shines through the rain.

    Altoid John

  92. avatar
    Jasperina | 14 July 2009 at 8:10 am #

    Wow…don't quite know what to say after reading that. Your honesty here in this creative nest just floors me. Believing it'll all come good there's gotta b something in that. Being back in the arms of your sweet family will help to keep the boat from tipping over. You'll drift for awhile and then a golden sunset will appear before your eyes.

  93. avatar
    fantasticandy | 14 July 2009 at 8:25 am #

    i envy ya.
    i really do….
    skint?…you 'n me both.
    just forked out my last few sheckles on damo's performance fee, hotel, flights ect.
    if the gig has crap attendance figures i'm fucked.

    your'e not alone steve…..

    shame the tour ended at a showcase for 'local cajun heroes',
    but it's a weird part of the world at best.
    i'm gonna see if i can get some church tunes played over the pa prior to coming onstage.

    c'mon brother….the very reason your'e so pissed-off is because your'e the BEST!
    damned heathens are everyware these days….
    much love to ya!
    andy L.

  94. avatar
    lily was here | 14 July 2009 at 8:56 am #

    hey Steve, everything will hopefully seem better in the morning as they say. Tiredness, money problems and a festival – not a good mix dear friend. All will be well,trust in it, much love & hugs xox

    Davem, yes plans are underway for churchfiendsdotcom. The band's tour has just interrupted the flow a little 🙂 but we will be toiling by lamplight to get the launch underway, i just gotta get home from where I am right now.

  95. avatar
    Anonymous | 14 July 2009 at 9:11 am #

    You could try selling more stuff to the fans you DO have. You've got at least dozens, probably hundreds, of professionally recorded live shows. And several live videos. You don't like em on aesthetic ground, I know. But they would pay the bills – and aesthetic considerations won't.
    Must be worth a try.

  96. avatar
    barry's mum | 14 July 2009 at 9:15 am #

    Steven, despite the post-tour despair you can always rely on this truth:
    Barry the Anon.'s's wife would still rather fuck you than him!

  97. avatar
    linjo | 14 July 2009 at 9:29 am #

    Dear Steve, I am upset to hear of your financial woes, it just shouldnt be. Could it be time to have another career path? Man, you could be an incredible councillor, while still, of course, be a prolific artist. Such amazing love and credits to you from the people who you inspire, that will never die! Linda xxx

  98. avatar
    eek | 14 July 2009 at 9:40 am #

    Wilfred Paradise said — "I would have bought some original artwork, but didn't see none."

    Do you mean actual original paintings (ie, not prints) of Steve's? Trying to take original paintings on tour with them would have been a disaster. Original works — especially on paper, as Steve's are — can't take a lot of handling. The works on his art site come from Steve to me (I manage his art site), then to a company that scans artwork, then back to me where I store them until they go on exhibit or sell. They get very little handling.

    So our best option (which we did) for Steve's artwork on the tour was archival prints, greeting cards (also printed with archival ink), and the Art, Man & Technology Exhibition CD and Prints box set. These could be packaged so they could withstand the heavier handling they would get on the tour.

    However, if you are interested in an original SK painting (or even cards, prints, and now the CD & prints Art, Man & Technology box set), you can purchase them through Steve's art website at (Prints and cards for the paintings in the Art, Man & Technology exhibition will be offered on the SK art site in the next couple of days. In the meantime, if you would like to purchase any of them — or the originals — you can contact me at hejstudio (at) gmail (dot) com.)

    For anyone interested in the Art, Man & Technology CD & 5"x7" Prints Box Set from Steve's recent exhibition by the same name, here is the direct link: Art, Man & Technology CD & Prints Box Set. The price is $50 USD. Currently it is only available from Steve's art website.

  99. avatar
    iseult | 14 July 2009 at 10:46 am #

    does that add up to 48 grand then?

    firstly thats a great photo
    love the composition and the colours
    and the expression
    you paint that and put it in the archibald 2010
    no folderols or swirls paint it just like it is
    ok thats a chance at 50 grand

    secondly how about we stop the dribs and drabs on the paypal and you just announce a fundraising day if it all hits your account in one day
    then you won't spend it along the way
    and you can send it to the taxman all in one go
    a big lumpus sum
    surely we could raise a 20 grand or more that way
    1000 fans x 20 dollars, less if you're in the US
    or 500 fans x 40 dollars
    its just the coordination – you name the day and we can save up for it and you gotta promise not to spend it

    thirdly you are denying reality because you are exhausted
    I know because I was at Golden Plains
    and there was 6000+ hoi polloi all young and groovy all getting into and or making out to your music
    it was sunset they could have kept eating they could have kept wandering around but they were not going anywhere and there was only one thing stopping them in their tracks making them go down closer to the front get into it and really enjoy it
    and that was the church
    so just stop being silly

    you can print more of those merchandise people are still going to buy them

    enjoy sweden
    let your daughters take you out and spoil you

    love isolde

  100. avatar
    Marlon | 14 July 2009 at 10:59 am #

    I understand you being down (for the Time Being) long drives, loneliness, money worries, underappreciative audience (Church shudda played first in quebec). Oz taxmen should give you a break for representing the country for 30 years. Seems to me you have had a good life and career as an artist doing the art that you enjoy. "Happy is the man who can make a living doing his hobby" Bernard Shaw from Pygmalion. I enjoyed the SoCal shows and purchased some merch, enjoyed your bio "No certainty Attached". Many people having a hard time in the current economic downturn. Smoke a fat one and press on ! Practice positive mental attitude and stop feeling old. Fifty five is not old ! How about a DVD collection of live songs spanning the 30 years of the Church ? Jokes, Magic and Souvenirs II ? I will pay for some of that.
    Thanks for years of listening enjoyment.

    fan since 85'

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