posted on December 11, 2005 at 12:41 am

yo peeeeeeple
alright
sunday morning in bondi
the internet cafe nearly empty cept for me
and some bleary eyed german backpacker
just had me brekky
sausage dog woke up scarlet
krallman had a machiato
nk bought 2 coffees to take home
eve and aurora had pancakes
ah the ordinary and the extraordinary
very few of the people at the cafe realise
that the dude in the black hat and white beardy
is a rocknroll superstah
about to tread the boards in only a few more hours
uh oh ahhh missy higgy on the radio
weakness in muscles
dark fog in mah brain
ah make it stop
ah make it go away
maudlin girlie mushiness invading ole sks neurons
ahhh no…cant take much more
syrupy schmaltzy tripe ascending mah cortex
must focus on bloggy….
must blot out this assault on my sensibilities
ah no sinking in fourth form gurlie poetry
NO
NO
NO!!!!!!
i will not succumb….
thank god
its over
collectin’ mah thoughts
can i be right and the whole world wrong?????

anyway
tonite
cautious, my felons
my fine feathered finks
my choichy little chickens
my anons
my avid and ardent amours
phew
poor sk
so sensitive to horrible sounds
so delicate mah poor ears
so much terrible noise around
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU LIKE YOU GRUMPY OLDE BASTARD?
IS THERE ANY FUCKIN MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO…….?
oh sk, isnt it lonely up here
here in yer tower where you guard the true rock heritage
here in yer brain where you still struggle to inject meaning
into a meaningless pop rock hodge podge
will they ever reward you sk?
will there be a shady grove at the end of your long trail?
will you ever be inducted into the heaven of olde rockers
put out to pasture
enjoying yer twilight years in the sun?
or is it just an endless struggle against the forces of syrup
against the horrible eighties dross of franz fuckin ferdinand
against the jet
against the backstreet bouys
against all those ten million girlie singers
against the hordes of rappers
against the grain
against the flow
against the wind
(SEE THEM CHOICHBOUYS RIDIN’ AGAINST THE WIND)
you see, the day i was born
an angel said to my muvver, (JOYCIE)
(WHO CANT COME ON THIS SITE COS SHE CANNAE ABIDE THE FOOKIN LANGWIDGE)
the angel said
this wee chile you hold in yer arms will one day be the saviour of
rocknroll
he will soldier on with his velvety voice
with his white beardy
with his freckles and earrings
armed only with ye olde basse
armed only with three f maj 7 chords
and the TRUTH!!!!!!
and lo, he will play the newt town twice
AND IT WILL BE GOODE
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EARS TO HEAR
TO THOSE WHO HAVE BANK CARDS TO BUY CHURCH MURCH
TO THOSE WHO HAVE BACKSTAGE PASSES AND COCAINE
yes, go forth proudly
for this weee chile will teach us how to ROCK!
but he will rock without forsaking intelligence
he will rock without forsaking meaning
and literary devices
(DIDJA KNOW THERE WERE 7 TYPES OF AMBIGUITY….?
AND THE CHOICH KNOWS MOST OF EM)
and the angel sprinkled moondust in mah hair
and golden sunlight in mah eyes of grey

any way, i digress
i digress, my little whoppers w/cheese
i digress my soy lattes with raw sugar
i digress my wheat toasts with apricot conserves

uh oh im digressing helplessly here
and im spoilin’ ya with mah huge daily blog
you guys….!
you guys are gonna have to learn to get by with less
i cant give ya this much everyday
i gotta go home and play barbies with the kiddiwinks
i gotta go home and chop down a christmas tree
i gotta go home and scrub my basse guitar
and learn my fuckin scales
i gotta go home and warm up ye olde velvety deep voice
so tonite
so tonite
i can hardly type it without getting all misty…
so tonite that ye may rocke
so tonite ye may rolle
so tonite ye may twitch and stomp
and have a rockingly goode time
youll see me there tonite
i have propitiated Indra, no storms tonite
i have spoken to Vishnu
who is sks main man
and he said to me
(in sanskrit, which i mysteriously understood)
he said
oh sk
oh you noble and still handsome olde rocker
go to the newt town
and let your people know
it is ok to rock again
only by rockin shall ye be healed
and forget
the bills
the jobs
the politician wurms
the fuckin neighbours and their yappy lil sausage dog
the deadlines
the morons crowding ya in
the nay sayers
the big brothers
the schmaltzy syrupy fuckin tripe thats breakin ya down
the retro oafish swaggering pea brains
the poofy scotch rubbish
the country and weston drivel
the bouy bands and the gurl bands
the aor adult contemporary bullshit
and all the rest

yes sk
tonite
TONITE YOU WILL ROCK
(!)
thats all folks

22 Responses to “the tomb of the unknown blog”

  1. avatar
    Brian | 11 December 2005 at 1:39 am #

    You’re spoiling us with such long posts, Steve, you’re right, but I read it all with a growing smile. Keep it up as long as you can, as the cliche said to the usual suspects.

    BTW It sounds like you could use an iPod of thy very own to screen out the Higgys of the uncaring world; immersing yourself in a sea of music of your own choice (or choich?). iTunes is a pain in the arse to use, but once loaded up its really nice to have all your own choons with you.

    Thanks again for this blog; it really is a treat, but please don’t let it get to being a chore; if doing it less keeps it fun then So Be It.

  2. avatar
    Brian | 11 December 2005 at 2:14 am #

    And speaking of rockin’ this town tonight, you gotta hear Daniel Johnston’s “Rock This Town” (mp3 here. This song was released for the SXSW 2005 festival and is a beautifully lurching and yes, rocking, song. Sadly Mr Johnston, well known in Austin,Texas, is in hospital right now, so it’s up to Steve and The Church to do the rocking for him.

  3. avatar
    blondenemesis | 11 December 2005 at 2:56 am #

    Bring me back to my room again
    It seems so strange that the things I was chasing
    Have all evaporated like a distant dream
    I’m almost with you
    I can sense it wait for me
    Goodbye heroica, you’re not needed for this scene

    A part of me will never be free
    And the part that’s free will never be me
    Ah disappointment just doesn’t care
    Off in the distance just waiting there
    Auditioning for the part of Mr. Despair

    Cut in two, that’s the type of time I’m killing
    I, I am the pulse of the heat
    You, you are the name of every man that I meet
    Cut in two, that’s the kind of life I’m having
    I could give you something fine to compare yourself to
    I could give you a lot more than a taste of yourself, too

    He he he, I’m starting to have fun with this….

  4. avatar
    RONIN | 11 December 2005 at 3:06 am #

    Steve, you’re definitely spoilin’ us! What more could your devoted flock ask of the true God of Rock? If you need to ease up a little to spend some quality time with the rockin’ bass and the wee ones, then don’t feel bad. We’ll be here when ya get back…

  5. avatar
    eek | 11 December 2005 at 3:45 am #

    I rather like cranky old bastards. Especially ones who swear gratuitously and bitch about hideous music. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’d be in Newtown if I could….

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2005 at 3:49 am #

    hi sk
    thanks for sharing your delightful morning …
    the pancakes sounded lovely …
    (sorry about the dog waking the baby)

    we’ll be rocking with you in spirit tonight from the other side of the world

    love
    your soy lattes with raw sugar
    your wheat toasts with apricot preserves

    diane and john

  7. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 11 December 2005 at 4:05 am #

    ye olde sk
    ye essesnce of rockin’, roll (one)
    ye pure turbinado raw sugar daddy
    i dedicate my cup of coffee
    on break tonight 2 U
    nothing compares 2 U
    as i build the circuit boards
    of the modern human infrastructure
    two beasts on the headphones
    to pass the night away
    i will only lament the littlest
    of rocks cruelties
    like why in the world
    you boys didn’t make “twin star”
    much longer and the featured track
    on after everything
    tonight you will save the world
    as it always has been saved
    one lost soul at a time
    peace and love
    puccifish

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2005 at 5:11 am #

    Steve if you have itunes you can find a good album you might like(if you don’t own it already) recorded in 75 or 76. The band is doctors of madness and the title is “late night movies……all night brainstorms.” It’s a current favorite rocker of mine.

  9. avatar
    sue c | 11 December 2005 at 5:22 am #

    Brekky in Bondi, ruined by Ms Higgy. Im right there with you Steve but did you know that she’s been covering Under the Milky Way lately?! Maybe she’ll release it and you can live off the royalties … that would be funny, but the thought of her ruining it … double scar.

  10. avatar
    Brian | 11 December 2005 at 6:23 am #

    To anonymous (two up) Steve actually reviewed that album for newspapertaxi.net His review can be found on ShadowCabinet.net

    And they said my knowing this stuff was a waste of time! ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. avatar
    Ron | 11 December 2005 at 7:19 am #

    Thanks Brian, i looked it up and you were right. So here goes another Steve. The band is chrome
    and the title is “clairaudient syndrome.” This is one of the few records that i have ever listened
    to that made me afraid(referring to the title track). They have many other records you might like too “red exposure” “half machine lip moves”, “blood on the moon” โ€œ3rd from the sunโ€ Some of these are an effort to find but well worth it!

    I am sure from my experience that Damon(singer) was singing about the past as in past lives and past history. This all being quite different from what we know and accept today as real recorded history. It may not be evident unless your interests are in that direction and you know how that can be. He had quite a twisted sense of humor too.

    Lights!
    Ron

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2005 at 10:26 am #

    This may have been suggested earlier. But for gods’ sakes, will somebody buy this man a laptop! Then there would be no more nasssty backpackers and blogs could written in a missy-bollock higgins free zone.
    Love your work Steve
    everybody’s fave beaver, the lime one

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 December 2005 at 2:16 pm #

    Good night, Mister Myster. Now this will become a hall of music suggestions and clues to the clueless (and glueless) man. I’d spend millions of years to give all of mine. (???). Try Guided By Voices someday and their mumbled drunk lo-cries. ‘Cos I’m learning to be humble instead of JUST PERFECT. Soul I’m gonna give you just this tip. You, Steve Henley from a band called Egos with that big big hit Under The Milky Hotel California. Way tonight.

  14. avatar
    General Catz | 11 December 2005 at 2:50 pm #

    I’d be interested to know the 7 types of ambiguity….

  15. avatar
    Brian | 11 December 2005 at 5:03 pm #

    I have to agree with the lime one about Steve’s getting a computer at home, with a good internet connection too, of course. But then if Steve could write from the adoring arms of home we wouldn’t hear about Bondi, ze german packbackers, and Higgy, which seems to get him riled up and ready to RAWK! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. avatar
    Brian | 11 December 2005 at 7:54 pm #

    General Catz: If only there were some kind of global network of computers where you could search for something and it would tell you about it ๐Ÿ™‚

    There’s a book called “Seven Types of Ambiguity”: this was the first hit on google.

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081120037X/103-3551963-7355060?v=glance&n=283155

  17. avatar
    Blog for the Asking | 11 December 2005 at 8:06 pm #

    Whoa.
    The great sk indeed.
    Hereโ€™s one for you to work out:

    One, Divided
    Present, Past
    Living, Dead
    Truth, Fear
    oil and water

    What the fuck are you so afraid of that it cripples you?
    Your great freedom?
    Freedom = an infinite number of choices, particularly for a word smith wishing to place his product of โ€œthe Truth!!!!!โ€ on show here.
    And yet like a dog backed into a corner you come out snarling!
    Now thatโ€™s a comedown.

  18. avatar
    youamwho | 11 December 2005 at 9:20 pm #

    Hey, dammit …when do us lowly Americanish get to ROCK!?!?!

    We wanna rock too, y’know!!!!!

    And when you come around to rockin’ us US… when our most righteously unholy communion again comes … don’t forget …

    …bring the BIG amps …none of this acoustic, semi-acoustic, quasi-acoustic whathaveyou acoustic …it’s time to ROCK …and when it’s time to ROCK …it’s AMPS we crave…

    …BIG AMPS!

    LARGE AMPS!

    MONOLITHIC AMPS!!!

    …SUPER DUPER/DOUBLE SECRET/PLUTONIUM FUELED/INDUSTRIAL STANDARD AMPS!

    AMPS swathed in diamond plate steel…

    …AMPS!

    …manly AMPS!

    Amps what’ll induce sonic maelstroms ‘n’ sheets o’ear bleeding Choichnoise…

    …AMPS what’ll pin yr minionous desciples (disciplous minions …?) to the halls’ back walls(bedecked ‘n’ festooned or utterly unadorned)…

    …us US want all what goes w/AMPS and crunching echo as well.

    …but…

    …that means UNITS!

    …’nuther subject entirely,units.

    And when we speak o’Choichy units …we speak o’BIG UNITS …WIDTHY and GIRTHEOUS UNITS …BIG ‘n’ LARGE ‘n’ ERECT ‘n’ WIDTHY ‘n’ GIRTHEOUS Orstralian UNITS!

    Yr all chrome plated studs, you lot…

    CHROME PLATED RAWK STUDS!!!!!

  19. avatar
    captainmission | 12 December 2005 at 9:07 am #

    Vishnu, gods preserve us.

  20. avatar
    Joe Burns | 12 December 2005 at 2:29 pm #

    I don’t need chrome plated rawk studs, and your standard amps will do… but I have to agree –
    your lil’ whoppers w/cheese here in america would be oh so grateful if olde sk would bring the choich over to these shores for a good dose of sk salvation.

  21. avatar
    Doctor Doctor | 19 December 2005 at 2:00 am #

    Well, there’s enough material there for an entire conference.

  22. avatar
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