posted on July 11, 2010 at 12:25 pm

i must admit
the novelty of being straight has worn off
still stuck in my skull with the dreaded kilbey
not a lot has changed
belfast frank sends me some amazing music
hindu mantras and slightly europeanised indian music
i do yoga twice today
i go to my pool but its full of blokey blokes having a swim meet today
i swim in the pacific ocean instead n catch some waves
i guess ive hit a plateau
i dont wanna smoke dope anymore thats for shore
alcohol disgusts me as do drunks
ive never been drunk in my life and i never will be
i turn to yoga and exercise and meditation
it cant turn it all around just like that
i want the answers and i want em now
i want to love and be loved
i want to be a real man
i want good friends who accept me as i am
i want my music to be spellbinding
its no good telling me about records i made in the past
i need to move on like a shark in the sea
they cant ever stop n nor can i
my very nature is to be restless
thats where all that music you presumably liked came from
i appreciate all the love that you my readers have been throwing at me
yes i really do
oh yes it helps to have you all on my side
but i am unhappy with things at the moment
and i cant just cheer up
imagine if baudelaire were alive today n writing a blog
it would be full of turbulence doubt sarcasm n moodswings
that is the artists lot
our thin skins
our disillusion
our ups n downs
thats how we get stuff done
i aint yer average joe
and thats good n thats bad
im searching for something i probably never gonna find
i need the things i have to push away
i cant abide the things that make most people happy
i want it all ways at once
i get so sick of myself
my friend annaki mayhem comes round tonite
she deals with more in a week than ive dealt with in my whole life
and shes cheerful
me? im a writhing self obsessed mass of contradictions
i need yoga n extreme exercise just to keep me vaguely balanced
i need god like other blokes need the pub
every now n then i catch a glimpse
i see something
i read something
i feel something
and for a moment….
then kilbey closes in again
that love him/hate him ego with all his big ideas
could be a hero could be a villain
anyway
thats me
i didnt write about time space mind did i?
maybe next one will be more profound
love to those i love they know whom they are
and a big finger to the naysayers
walk a kilometre in my blunnies…you couldnt last an inch
tomorrow producing simon starling out at tims
hes a beautiful cat n im looking forward to it
the pool should be cold n empty tomorrow
just the way i like it ah ha ah ha
i’ll get there eventually
i adore my readers
thank you people
you are the core of my (in)sanity
blessings beaucoups on you all
xxx
steven

52 Responses to “time*space*mind*”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 July 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    I think it's good that you've been making an attempt to kick the dope
    It's also good that you manage to keep up the swimming and yoga
    Have read many times over the last few years your battles with the good v bad
    It's never an easy fight

    Remember last year when I found some dope n eventually smoked it
    All the old shit re-emerged
    voices swimming, assailing me from all sides…paranoia

    Me I like my swimming and a bike ride
    May make me more tired but I'm happier
    Than I ever was smoking dope

    One day at a time and all that malarkey
    Good luck and best wishes

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 July 2010 at 1:49 pm #

    i dunno bro …seems like your bailin on weed just as the world is starting to understand its necessity..the wonderful flavor n aroma..the "just rightness" it endows …is it the cannabinoids or the actual smoke ingestion thats put you off ..or just a switch youve flipped …a corner turned..its all good i m just curious.. i know the liberating feeling of giving up the juice…freeing myself from tobacco .and so i understand that,..that in itself acts like a drug…..peace n more power ..bnz

  3. avatar
    tom | 11 July 2010 at 2:10 pm #

    you are far better off without the dope at this point in your life and you know that deep inside – now the trick is how to enjoyably pass the unmasked time that you once thought you were enhancing with it. It served its purpose a long time ago, but if you have issue with it now, and you do, that is your mind, body and soul telling you that it's enough. Pot is a psychedelic and it opens up doors, it touches the pineal gland and it does give you fleeting glimpses of the infinite. It is a shortcut. You eventually have to pay a price for the shortcuts you take. Pursue the yoga and meditation. That is the proper path. Let every last molecule of THC leave your body. Be well and my thoughts and prayers for your beautiful little daughter. I had my tonsils removed when I was five – all I remember was a sore throat and lots of vanilla ice cream!

  4. avatar
    Broken Toys and Heros | 11 July 2010 at 2:10 pm #

    when all seems so mundane- that is the dangerous time. please dont fall into the trap of boredom. yes- so many of us dwell in what u have created in the past. and there is even more of us waiting on all ur new creations. so take inventory of ur emotions- sort thru them and toss the unnecessary, the useless. every day u create- u reach the pinnacle of ur art. and we wait patiently for the deliverance. it must so hard for u to take a break, take a breath. try to find little things to enjoy, over and over and over- this may not seem like alot- but hopefully it is enough.

    enjoy a great swim !!!

    DJK082067

  5. avatar
    LF | 11 July 2010 at 2:14 pm #

    Ah, Steve. You are a real firecracker, which means that there will be some occasional fizzling. Just don't get down on yourself for being down–that's the death spiral.

    Much love from the Danelaw, LF.

  6. avatar
    veleska1970 | 11 July 2010 at 2:31 pm #

    sorry you're experiencing a slump in spirits right now. much love to you.

    ps how's aurora?

  7. avatar
    DavidP | 11 July 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    dear steve, you did write about time space mind. you showed us a slice of your mind in this time and space.

    i think you can also balance yourself by just focusing on the present moment and avoiding dwelling in the mind or any negative emotions (which can be hard to do or maintain i know). hopefully you will find it gets you to those answers, love, the real you, god that you seek. you will get there eventually if you keep at it and do more things that feed the essence. to the battle!

    love n peace
    dp

  8. avatar
    robertmadore | 11 July 2010 at 2:47 pm #

    The one thing that is with us all day everyday despite any and all distractions is "the mind". So it's not the dope or this or that. It's the MIND.
    The trouble/dissatisfaction will alway's exist unless this continuous mess that is the egoic mind is stopped.
    The Zen Doctrine Of No-Mind by Suzuki is brilliant. As is The Power Of Now by Tolle.

  9. avatar
    davem | 11 July 2010 at 3:00 pm #

    I love your energy and your constant search for the answers. It's been wonderful to follow your work all these years – rewarding and inspiring.
    Gawd bless ya!
    x

  10. avatar
    bc | 11 July 2010 at 3:06 pm #

    you are bravely changing,sk
    in front of the world…
    honestly revealing all the ups and downs…
    what a brave (real man) thing to do!

  11. avatar
    Blake | 11 July 2010 at 3:10 pm #

    Patience is the virtue.

  12. avatar
    fantasticandy | 11 July 2010 at 3:20 pm #

    self-realisation…..it's a bugger.
    but you is what you is.
    pretty much peerless.

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 July 2010 at 3:27 pm #

    I gave it up a few yrs. ago. Occasionally I do miss it, but as a general rule I do not. It will take, probably, a little more time, until it feels more like 'the norm' for you. A year down the road, everything will still not be all roses, but you will be a better person for it. One thing about life, is that it is there, and it will face you whether you face it or not. Sometimes it isn't that much fun, or pleasant – but we trudge on, like the good soldiers that we are. Prayers to you and yours, and especially to Bunny. I enjoy reading your posts and like the others, I wish to send my love and heartfelt wishes, and wish you much strength in your endeavors. Sometimes it's there, we just have to find it. Personally, I can't find my mojo. It got lost. Everyone once in awhile it will peak it's lil head, just enough to tease me – then back to black.

  14. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 July 2010 at 3:45 pm #

    If you weren't who you are, you would be boring (and I would have lost interest). People seem afraid of unrest and either hide from it or conform and lose themselves into an abyss of mundane, so it is quite remarkable… your courage to embrace and share what you care about, what you feel, what you fear. Thank you.

    I had a dream last night —

    (remember) the sound of an ice-cream truck when you were a kid? The shear and sudden joy that left everything behind? That was my dream: it was a really hot day and as children [we] were playing, when all of a sudden the little white truck with pastel paintings of exciting treats all over it and the ice-cream truck melody playing, came driving slowly down the road, and we heard that sound… then everyone simultaneously stopped in absolute startled excitement and every thought disappeared except to run as fast as we could back to our homes' to get monies from our moms so we could run (as fast as we could) back before he turned the corner. …the one I bought was this beautiful pink color (but I don't remember dreaming what it tasted like), and it dripped in the sun as I hurried to eat it before it was gone, remembering in my dream that I was a little concerned that I had to eat it so fast to keep it from melting, so [I think] the fun was timing the treat to make it last as long as I could without letting any of it drip on the sidewalk. I finished it, happy before I "came back to" where I was before in that day — playing… as before the ice cream truck took all thought away. I woke up before play started again… so it was the ice cream truck that was suppose to be my dream.

    Nice to have a chance to remember how happy that memory was — everyone running as fast as they could without a thought other than to gain a treat. Sheer joy.

  15. avatar
    Steven Krut | 11 July 2010 at 4:43 pm #

    Yeah, your creativity does seems to flow from your existential restlessness. I guess it's simultaneously a curse and a blessing. Maybe you should write a musical about a guy searching for meaning. It would be amazing, I sure, and perhaps even cathartic.

    Sorry, you're feeling down.

  16. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 11 July 2010 at 6:07 pm #

    SK is built like a rugged socker player or even rugby. Thanks to him I'm finally exercising much more. It might be too late but it's now or never for me.

    Back to Sk and The Church. The critics that do review them-love them. The problem is that the most read publications only focus on the commercial crap that is around now or the legends (Beatles, Dylan, Jimmy Page, Pink Floyd).

  17. avatar
    evilren | 11 July 2010 at 6:50 pm #

    I think everyone who reads The Time Being, accepts
    you for who you are and appreciates your candor Steve. Every now and then I catch a glimpse or
    small sign of the unexplainable and it comforts me.
    I like what someone once said, "I'm half light and
    half dark, a whole person." I've also been fighting
    the urge to get high and escape from the hum-drum
    world. Best I can figure is take some lessons from your daughters, they are the ones who love you for who you are and like no one else. Try and feel the
    love.

    Peace

    R

  18. avatar
    EDD | 11 July 2010 at 6:55 pm #

    I know exactly what you mean about sobriety…..You can, however, be proud of yerself for making it so long on nuthin…..it is hard. I have a situation where I would let so many people down if I were to go back to alcohol…including my-self…I wish you the best of luck…I think you're on the right track.

  19. avatar
    meh | 11 July 2010 at 8:43 pm #

    my husband's got 5 (6?) years clean/straight/sober.

    he's still restless and obsesses…and acts out on self absorbed attitudes be they ego or insecurity. he still does the cigarettes. he compulsively wraps himself up in hobbies of music and video games and pyrotechnics. it's all OK, though. part and parcel, as they say – he's still a sweetheart and a keeper to me, and i'm proud of the strength he's shown. although at times i still worry about the potential for his slipping back, he's doing well today.
    and today is what we've got – sometimes just the moment at hand is what we've got. if it's good, run with it. if not, work the necessary changes (definition of magick.) it's the work that helps focus the mind away from boredom and over-anticipation.

    so,
    it's ok to be unhappy
    it's ok to have mood swings
    it's ok to be restless
    it's ok to want more
    it's ok to be human

    even though you may not consider yourself an average joe – not many of the rest of us do, either. (we may have accepted a compromise into that average trap, however)

    and still it's ok
    to not be an average joe

    for you and for all of us

    life is always a work in progress

    keep well, and always know where your towel is ūüėČ

  20. avatar
    Donna | 11 July 2010 at 8:52 pm #

    Steve,
    Thank you for your honesty. What I love most about you is that you are REAL. I'm so tired of fakes – people who are overly concerned about image. I recognize what you so eloquently describe in your blog: restlessness. A week ago, I said,"Slow and steady wins the race." This has become my motto, because we ARE in a race. We are all struggling daily, and we have good days and bad…we need to learn patience. St. Augustine once wrote,"Our hearts are restless until they find rest in Thee." Keep searching for God…but don't EVER expect to be free from all the frustrations, trials and disappointments that come our way on a regular basis. Run to win!
    Your music strikes a chord with so many of us because we are all restless and empty some of the time. It's comforting to hear what we feel put into words and music. I see your frequent references to CS Lewis. Read Mere Christianity, if you haven't already. Amazing book!! And the poem Dover Beach. Love it!!
    Anyway, lots of love back at ya!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 July 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    Completely identify with your sense restlessness, the push and pull

  22. avatar
    Anonymous | 11 July 2010 at 9:59 pm #

    Yes, best wishes, your songs have picked me up in hard times. All I can wish for you (and everyone) is patience and persistence while sailing thru the swells (and doldrums even). Doldrums are a bitch.

    The Buddha wrote good verse

    A burden indeed are the five aggregates, and the carrier of the burden is the person. Taking up the burden in the world is stressful. Casting off the burden is bliss. Having cast off the heavy burden and not taking on another, pulling up craving, along with its root, one is free from hunger, totally unbound.

  23. avatar
    steve kilbey | 11 July 2010 at 10:42 pm #

    dear readers
    thanks for the affirmations
    you are very nice to me
    i love ya all
    sk

  24. avatar
    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark | 11 July 2010 at 11:45 pm #

    Steve, you did write a profound blog…That said, I think it's quite brave of you to quit smoking weed after all these years; it can't be easy. Well done!

    Love (and support)
    Thomas T.

  25. avatar
    princey | 12 July 2010 at 12:38 am #

    Hi sk, I had a look'n'listen to an interview you did in Bondi recently (at a noisy cafe somewhere) you mention a crystal ball predicted you'll be around til the ripe old age of 82, I tried to imagine if you'd still be writing a blog, could u possibly keep writing interesting,funny,moody stuff to us til then???? I really hope so sk, your music and blog are a huge part of my life, and hope it never, ever ends. Another 25+ years with you here would be nice…really nice!

    Have a great day recording and all the best to little Aurora too.
    love always,
    Amanda

  26. avatar
    Cocoamo | 12 July 2010 at 12:38 am #

    Dear Steven:

    You have faced yourself with incredible challenges in your life and it is not surprising they get the better of you at times.

    Have you read The Natural Mind, by Andrew Weil? It was his first book, and at the time it was considered quite shocking and radical. He was a Harvard educated M.D. who had specialized in mind altering drugs. He ranted on about how society has demonized mind altering drugs, while fully condoning alcohol, caffeine, and sugar as though they are harmless. Many people took this to mean that he approved of drug consumption, which was not the case at all.

    He maintains that if meditation is done properly and regularly, a much better high can be achieved, without the tolerance and increasing side effects that inevitably develop when one regularly consumes mind-altering drugs.

    But, the book was an epiphany to me, particulary his description of the universal drive of the human to achieve altered states of consciousness.

    Today, he is such an innocuous teddy bear that most people have no memory of how scary he was in his youth. He writes health books, in case you are not familiar with him (quite good ones, actually).

    Anyway, that's enough for now, I guess.

    As always, feeling the greatest respect, admiration and affection for you and all you are striving to do.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania

  27. avatar
    Jasperina | 12 July 2010 at 1:21 am #

    Adore you Steve a distant angel perched ever so tenuously on a bright star.

  28. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 July 2010 at 1:41 am #

    I am either absolutely certain or I am gently confused: you were talking about the pool, right?

  29. avatar
    Maze | 12 July 2010 at 2:06 am #

    Tomorrow never knows, sorry about the J Lennon ripoff, most artists are moody, that's when they're at their best, painting helps, swimming is the best, a brisk walk at dawn with the dog, write a new song, listen to the magic of thunder, post a youtube video, some cheese with that wine, its all good, learned my lesson until I do it again.

  30. avatar
    redgrevillea | 12 July 2010 at 2:47 am #

    it seems that finding satisfaction within is like having a home loan (which I'm new to), you make some inroads with the principal (going into your source) but the interest (the baggage etc)washes you back to the point almost where you started from.

    That said I'll contact eek soon to buy more sk prints for my unit. a unit of what you may ask? When you walk in there it's definitely that, "a" "unit". But there's just enough wall-space to hang some wondrous prints. And I like yours the best. Mind you I picked up a print that's all blue and sinister from a guy at paddington markets on Saturday, he does all these gothic skeleton-like figures. mine's playing a harp.

    i kind of owe you an apology for being such a joker at times (joker as in the deck of cards) or for being perhaps disrespectful. you're a great genius and a wonderful man and I love your work. (and your bass playing).

    Cheers, Ross

  31. avatar
    Hellbound Heart | 12 July 2010 at 4:55 am #

    me being the ignorant individual that i am, i would imagine you're still well and truly going the cold turkey and your brain/glands still haven't found the knack of making as many of the feel-good chemicals as they should….persevere, dear steve and know there are a lot of people on your side…..

    love always…….

  32. avatar
    cazziem | 12 July 2010 at 5:49 am #

    The good the bad and the ugly are within us all, and we are all sinners to some degree. However, as you correctly say you're not the average Joe, if you were they naysayers wouldn't take any notice, but never forget it's IS your individuality that keeps us all here!
    You said it yourself SK – No Certainty Attached!!!

  33. avatar
    ASSMIDGET | 12 July 2010 at 7:07 am #

    smoking wacky tabacky for life!!!
    every once in a while it's a great art enhancement, daily seems to to kill it.

  34. avatar
    Andrea | 12 July 2010 at 7:14 am #

    Hi SK, just persevere and you'll soon be fine !!!
    You feel depressed to day but you jus tfinished a grat album (Isidore 2) last week !!! I expect one may feel empty after out pouring pure creativity as you said you did (lyrics for an album in two days??? amazing !!!)
    And yes, i do love your past works, even those of the *dark ages*, but i do love your *next* works, and eagerly wait for them to surface !!!
    best,
    Andreas
    Genoa/Italy

  35. avatar
    Damian | 12 July 2010 at 7:36 am #

    Hi Steve,
    I'm not surprised you're feeling a little blue, after all, what goes up, must come down.
    You've recently finished a US tour, recorded vocals for isidore II (which I must say is my most anticipated new release), been a guest on Rock-Wiz (again) and all these experiences probably left you in a heightened state of mind. Couple that with your daughter's pending operation and it's soul-mind-crash-time.
    I feel for you and the fact that you suffer from time-to-time as a price for providing the universe such high-art. And it is high-art.
    Maybe it's time to try something brand new, rock the boat, miss a beat.
    I'd recommend a few different things to try but I'm sure you'll have no problem coming up with your own list ūüôā
    On that note – I bet you'll feel totally different tomorrow, you always wore your heart a little on the sleeve.
    – D.

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 July 2010 at 10:07 am #

    Loved the photo yesterday. Made you look so young.

    How is nk?

    We never hear about her anymore.

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 July 2010 at 10:35 am #

    How much time being do you waste sitting around and sifting through your meagre comments.
    Must pay well to keep you so dedicated.

  38. avatar
    etherealbutterfly | 12 July 2010 at 10:47 am #

    These feelings will pass….. follow your stronger self not your weaker self. Draw strength from those who love you; look into your daughter's eyes and there you will find peace.

    Sobriety is the cure

    Charity may also help.

    Peace to you and yours

  39. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 July 2010 at 11:59 am #

    How could you not feel out of sorts, depressed, etc.

    You have given up all drugs which is awesome and speaks of your strength.

    But you are now face to face with the fact of time being running out, and of all the selfish acts that have led you this place.

    Isn't it time being you got over yourself and started acting in the best interests of your children.

  40. avatar
    fantasticandy | 12 July 2010 at 12:02 pm #

    wacky-baccy turned dudes of neptune into the failed.
    perhaps in measured doses it's ok,
    but years of smoking the stuff habitually……iv'e not seen it do any good.
    i reckon i get pretty high on just being alive and have never found the need for dope.
    we are all different though!
    steve, your'e gonna be a creative soul high OR dry….

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 12 July 2010 at 4:55 pm #

    Confusion seems essential to continue and to grow/change perspective on life. i remember while studying artists, etc.; and believing how wonderfully insightful this photographer we studied was –and how she had the liberation to call it. and how back then I thought when I got older (if… because I was really young and it was so far off and still and "if"), I would do the "Diane Arbus" too.

    Now, I think: poor soul, she must have been so tortured somewhere in there, and could not see her own beauty continued and got stuck and ran out of courage and hope.

    I'm not sure which is right of her own story, if either.

  42. avatar
    Ellen | 12 July 2010 at 6:25 pm #

    And blessings back to you…

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2010 at 7:28 am #

    Hey Steve,

    I was friendly with Elliott Smith when he used to live in Brooklyn. He hung out in Luna Lounge, the small bar/club that I used to own. One night we had a discussion in which we both raised questions and made comments to each other similar to the feelings you have expressed in this blog entry.

    I am writing a book which is in part about Elliott. Perhaps, this excerpt from a conversation might be of interest to you:

    I was working at incorporating Taoism into my life and in a conversation we had at the bar, I once spoke with Elliott about a Taoist poem that was helping me to find balance.

    The poem suggests that it is not the pot in which we boil water, but the space inside. The poem may mean many things.

    I told Elliott that I believed that the Taoist poem expressed the idea that the essence of energy is created in a place which is not seen and not easily understood, hidden by the outer shell which is hard and tangible. 

    However, it is within the inner space where matter and energy will bond and where the process of change will occur. In addition, in specific regard to the human condition, I also believed that the poem suggested that it may be that our intellect was represented by the pot, seeking hard and tangible evidence for a position and point of view, and that the space inside is represented by the heart, not seen and not easily understood and hidden by the cold will of the mind. 

    The heart is, never the less, the inner space where the essence of our energy is created and where the power and beauty of our lives will be manifest.

    I continued along this line and expressed to Elliott the idea that perhaps seeking to understand ourselves by using our minds to pay heed to our internal dialogue was keeping us set on the outside of our lives.

    Rather, we may better serve ourselves clearly by seeking to feel the heart of the person for whom we ask the question, as the heart is where matter and energy will bond and the process of change will occur. 

    When one is able to feel the heart of the question, then there is no longer a need to seek an answer. It's meaning is clear.

    The expressions, "Trust your heart," "Follow your heart", and "Feel the answer," are expressions meant to place us on this path of enlightenment. Elliott thought about what I had said and was taking it in for a moment.

    Then, I continued, "The hard part for me is applying this to myself, feeling the heart of myself. I judge myself a lot and that blocks the way of the heart.

    Judgement is the will of the intellect, the cold will of the mind, and like the pot in which we boil water, it is the barrier which keeps us from seeing the inner space where the true beauty of our heart resides.

     By referring to myself, Elliott knew that I had opened a window through which we both could peer in, and by not giving him advice, I was hoping to help him find a way to appreciate the good heart I knew he himself had inside.

    For me, Taoism was a way through my loneliness. I knew that something had to change in my life, and that I needed a new approach. Dianne had left me a year and a half earlier.

    Even though I was the one who had walked out the door, I knew, in my heart, that she was the first to let go. Elliott knew Dianne. She was always in Luna too. 

    Best wishes,
    Rob Sacher
    rob@lunalounge.com

  44. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2010 at 7:33 am #

    Steve,

    I am going to spread this comment out over several entries as the comments manager will not allow large files, so here goes…

    I used to know Elliott Smith when he lived in New York. He often would come into my small club/bar, Luna lounge, and we would have discussions about our feelings and issues similar to the message you wrote on today's blog.

    I am writing a book which is, in part, about Elliott. Perhaps, this will be of interest to you….

    continued on next comments page…

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2010 at 7:35 am #

    I was working at incorporating Taoism into my life and in a conversation we had at the bar, I once spoke with Elliott about a Taoist poem that was helping me to find balance.

    The poem suggests that it is not the pot in which we boil water, but the space inside. The poem may mean many things. I told Elliott that I believed that the Taoist poem expressed the idea that the essence of energy is created in a place which is not seen and not easily understood, hidden by the outer shell which is hard and tangible. However, it is within the inner space where matter and energy will bond and where the process of change will occur.

    In addition, in specific regard to the human condition, I also believed that the poem suggested that it may be that our intellect was represented by the pot, seeking hard and tangible evidence for a position and point of view, and that the space inside is represented by the heart, not seen and not easily understood and hidden by the cold will of the mind. The heart is, never the less, the inner space where the essence of our energy is created and where the power and beauty of our lives will be manifest.

    I continued along this line and expressed to Elliott the idea that perhaps seeking to understand ourselves by using our minds to pay heed to our internal dialogue was keeping us set on the outside of our lives. Rather, we may better serve ourselves clearly by seeking to feel the heart of the person for whom we ask the question, as the heart is where matter and energy will bond and the process of change will occur. 

    When one is able to feel the heart of the question, then there is no longer a need to seek an answer. It's meaning is clear. The expressions, "Trust your heart," "Follow your heart", and "Feel the answer," are expressions meant to place us on this path of enlightenment. Elliott thought about what I had said and was taking it in for a moment.

    Then, I continued, "The hard part for me is applying this to myself, feeling the heart of myself. I judge myself a lot and that blocks the way of the heart. Judgement is the will of the intellect, the cold will of the mind, and like the pot in which we boil water, it is the barrier which keeps us from seeing the inner space where the true beauty of our heart resides. 

    By referring to myself, Elliott knew that I had opened a window through which we both could peer in, and by not giving him advice, I was hoping to help him find a way to appreciate the good heart I knew he himself had inside. For me, Taoism was a way through my loneliness. I knew that something had to change in my life, and that I needed a new approach.

    Dianne had left me a year and a half earlier. Even though I was the one who had walked out the door, I knew, in my heart, that she was the first to let go. Elliott knew Dianne. She was always in Luna too. 

    Rob Sacher
    rob@lunalounge.com

  46. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2010 at 7:37 am #

    I was working at incorporating Taoism into my life and in a conversation we had at the bar, I once spoke with Elliott about a Taoist poem that was helping me to find balance.

    The poem suggests that it is not the pot in which we boil water, but the space inside. The poem may mean many things. I told Elliott that I believed that the Taoist poem expressed the idea that the essence of energy is created in a place which is not seen and not easily understood, hidden by the outer shell which is hard and tangible. However, it is within the inner space where matter and energy will bond and where the process of change will occur. In addition, in specific regard to the human condition, I also believed that the poem suggested that it may be that our intellect was represented by the pot, seeking hard and tangible evidence for a position and point of view, and that the space inside is represented by the heart, not seen and not easily understood and hidden by the cold will of the mind. 

    The heart is, never the less, the inner space where the essence of our energy is created and where the power and beauty of our lives will be manifest.

    continued…

  47. avatar
    Anonymous | 13 July 2010 at 7:37 am #

    I judge myself a lot and that blocks the way of the heart. Judgement is the will of the intellect, the cold will of the mind, and like the pot in which we boil water, it is the barrier which keeps us from seeing the inner space where the true beauty of our heart resides. By referring to myself, Elliott knew that I had opened a window through which we both could peer in, and by not giving him advice, I was hoping to help him find a way to appreciate the good heart I knew he himself had inside. For me, Taoism was a way through my loneliness.

    I knew that something had to change in my life, and that I needed a new approach. Dianne had left me a year and a half earlier.

    Even though I was the one who had walked out the door, I knew, in my heart, that she was the first to let go. Elliott knew Dianne. She was always in Luna too. 

    Rob Sacher
    rob@lunalounge.com

  48. avatar
    eek | 13 July 2010 at 7:56 am #

    "i'll get there eventually"

    Yes, you will. I think you actually do get there now sometimes. Those moments when everything comes together and you have absolute peace and clarity — it might only last an instant, but I think in those moments you are "there".

    "i want my music to be spellbinding
    its no good telling me about records i made in the past"

    I became a fan because of music I heard 20+ years ago, but I'm still here because of your current — and future — work. If you asked me which decade of your music (all of it — The Church, solo, side) was my favourite, my answer would be "the current one" and I suspect for me it will always be whichever one is current, no matter how long you create. You have such a huge back catalog of work, but I'm always most excited about what's in the pipeline. And it's fantastic work too — it seems that most musicians make their best music in their first few years. You're just getting better. That's pretty damned amazing.

    Hang in there, Steve. You're getting there. You are creating amazing art along the way, and you have many people who love you dearly. I know it's hard to see sometimes when so much around you seems to be going to hell, but there is a lot of wonder in this world for you yet.

  49. avatar
    DavidP | 13 July 2010 at 10:44 am #

    i think when we are properly aware we are activating a part of us which is beyond the mind, the spiritual consciousness, and then it is with that which we observe objectively what is going on externally and internally and experience a feeling of true peace.
    "Follow your heart, trust your heart, feel the answer" are just other ways of saying "intuition" which is a quality of the heart and the consciousness but you've got to be aware to pick up the intuitive messages and watch the mind doesn't come in with other options and so ruin the "gut feeling" which is usually correct.
    [url=http://www.gnosticawakenings.com/practices/intuition]Click this for a good article on Intuition[/url]

  50. avatar
    Tanyakc65 | 13 July 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    You don't have to WANT your music to be spellbinding. It IS spellbinding.

  51. avatar
    robotclam | 14 July 2010 at 1:59 am #

    It takes a true artist to transform personal reflection into universal communication. You do that in your music and in your writing, and it's way INSPIRING. & 2 thumbs up for a thoughtful, kind-to-oneself sobriety.

  52. avatar
    Omingomak | 17 July 2010 at 12:20 pm #

    "i want the answers and i want em now"… ok, been there before…wink wink… First off not that much younger than you so I can relate to the old man in the mirror deal. If I may offer up a bit of observation that has helped me in those times of "need"… Life is nothing but balance day in and day out…it'll keep you humble but will elevate if your not chained down by your own worries. Thats the key. Don't limit your escapes…moderation works wonders. If you need the escape of mother nature in all forms, well so be it…no big deal you know. When it becomes to much…step back and just watch … life will impart on you all of its beauty and wonders if your not caught up in the fog of the day to day bullshit that takes us all down. Watch the sun rise. Feel the quiet of night. Let life and love wash over you. Yoga works wonders but so does simple observation. Watch a storm brew and realize that we are all just witnesses to something even bigger and beautiful than our own existence…has a way of making lifes problems become smaller and well less affecting. We chain ourselves to lifes pitfalls and reservations. Live life the way you see fit. Guess thats why theres so many wonderful choices. Take what you want. Take what you need. Leave the rest behind. Steve thanks for all you have given us fans. Take care my friend


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