posted on September 15, 2007 at 12:51 am

i dunno what to write about tori
she comes on in black wig n horrible clothes
shes touching herself…..there
indeed when she 1st took the stage
she proffered her bum to the audience
who men n women both went crazy
all night long tori was busy gesticulating
hand jiving as she hammered the keys
illustrating the songs with gestures
all of them sexual
toris hand strokes a huge imaginary phallus
tori wanks around
tori touches her bosoms n opens her legs suddenly
she turns around and again offers her ass
she writhes n twitches as she plays the piano
singing a naughty line
n checking out the audience
with an expression thats a cross between
elton john n chrissie amphlett
she is with no doubt an incredible player
make no mistake this woman is brilliant on the keys
the best bits are where it all breaks down
to tori in the upper register
her riffs going round n round
like philip glasses musical phrase-loops
she can sing too
but i quickly got tired of all her “operatic” bits
where she really takes off into the falsetto
the band is good but the drums are mixed too loud
the bass player is mellifluous
the guitarist is quite inventive
tori disappears after a while
n returns in a hideous green shiny outfit
that looks like it was in the bargain bin at st vinnies
and a long straight ginger wig
both wigs go right down to the eyes
covering much of her face
she can certainly play the piano from some different angles
but coming across more as a precocious kid
at her own birthday party
rather than the wild shooting from the hip hi priestess
she might hope for
whats wrong with tori?
the lights are magnificent
the sound is ok for the op house
tori jerks n writhes all the way thru
she does a sorta fairytale 2nd last
nk is rapt
(kate bush comes on pod at this point)
it didnt move me
im asking myself at the time
it just felt like tori was faking it
an incredible performance
but all in aid of what?
of course the audience lapped it up
tho strangely muted sometimes
tori only talks once
and its the olde i love australia bullshit
the kneejerk crowd all cheer
is that all you can really come up with, tori?
in the end i left puzzled
nk thought it was great
afterwards as we walk through the quay
a couple of girls come up n say
what did you think?
it was ok i say
the girls seem surprised
oh really!
no you know…it was good..i mutter
actually i dont know what to think
there were some great moments during the set
but somethings gone wrong for tori
the outfits wigs n movements….WHY?
she was a lot “sexier” before…
if thats what she wants to be
now shes weird
like a rich eccentric auntie might be weird
not necessarily nice weirdness
and talking of rich
150 bucks a ticket
times 2000
times 3 nights
toris pulling in over 600,000 bucks from sydney
shes in a cocoon
no one can tell her shes being ridiculous
just cos you can play the piano
doesnt mean that you cant be silly as well
and thats how i feel about most of it
brilliant yet silly
the buzzz
this legal high
made from chocolate, orange, damiana,honey, etc
just like the real deal
but better smoother no hangover
a powerful aphrodisiac
dreamy feeling
oh everything feels so good
lasted 4 hours or so
woke up feeling real good
will be heading over to newtown today
for more supplies
as my cafe friend said
like the best bits of cocaine n ecstacy
without the chemicals..
fiendsss this stuff is good
and perfectly legal
i have no idea how they do it
other ingredients include
the buzzz blew our minds
this is worth checking out
dont worry
its legal!

weird note
tori came on ipod just as i was checking the spelling!

45 Responses to “tori 0, buzzz 1”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 2:00 am #

    another great review – really took me there killer – on ya

  2. avatar
    esne snoner | 15 September 2007 at 2:14 am #

    yep – didn’t do the tori thing meself but strikes me as another case of better try and justify the obscene ticket prices with some theatrics having now gone beyond the fans wanting music-mainly-please to the we-want-value-for-money mob – still at least you got to see her unlike mr ryan adams who apparantly decided to perform totally in the dark at the enmore recently – go figure – see you in happy highs in newtown today thanks for the tip

  3. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 2:18 am #

    Hey slow down sk, you’re hooked already?!! Thanks for the great review (of the choccie that is).
    Have a beautiful weekend (no doubt with your new sweet love!)
    Love you always,

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 2:21 am #

    Hey Steve. So what is this buzzz stuff called exactly (if I was to look it up in Google)? Is it just available over there? How about in Toronto Canada area? Enquiring minds want to know…!


  5. avatar
    lily was here | 15 September 2007 at 2:43 am #

    Your gut instinct tells you all you need to know but I loved reading about it sk! Maybe Tori was trying to take off the sexuality of PJ Harvey? except with Polly it comes across naturally and so effortless. Hey, I want some Buzzz now 🙁 We should buy you tix for all the hot shows so we can at least score the reviews?!

    Steve, i absolutely love that new videoclip for Silverchair ‘If Youre Not Losing Sleep’.. sizzling hot. Watched it at least 4 times today.

    esne snoner,I came so close to forking out $$ to get to that ryan adams show with some friends. He got his act together the NEXT night. I would’ve been royally pissed off ‘cos my tix would’ve been for the dud night. Tosser.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 2:50 am #

    brilliant review. just the feeling i saw her ‘Smells like teen spirit’ on youtube last night. she’s having sex on stage. i’d rather watch Madonna singing and touching There than She dose it.

  7. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 15 September 2007 at 3:03 am #

    music of all kinds ‘r’ accepted here on earth me call terra…
    Ne ik’O’

  8. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 3:04 am #

    where do i get me some o diz buzz?????nah!tis ok,there’s a herbal highs just 2 streets away!..i make tinctures for friends and clients{and myself,of course!} is amazing the powers of nature,that have been camouflaged by the modern doesn’t surprise me that they have tried to dull the brilliance of natural remedies{and ban some herbs n applications,n ingestion of particular blends} europe,apparently?they are more accepting of the old australia,you cant even prescribe the ingestion of lavender,whereas in europe,it is standard’s an anti-bacterial/anti-fungal/anti-inflammatory..oh!?..sometimes one must just give information,and not prescription! ….Tori???…sounds as though she is suffering with what my previous associates and i used to call”Klass wif a capital K!”{no reference to the illustrious Mr.K. of course!}…sometimes fame bastardizes the artist..a shame,she is obviously quite talented,but may be striving to be something that doesn’t fit in her psyche…i agree with you sk,she was much sexier,when she was JUST being herself..and to all of us?nobody is more themself,than themself…and aint that the poifekt troooth!…have a fantastic day lovely SK!…love,as always,gen xxxxx

  9. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 3:21 am #

    lily Sue shine!…thank you!..I love you!…I am so gonna wear whatever the heck I want tonight!….and if anyone asks as to why I’m dressed like a mermaid?….I’ll tell em that SUE said i could xxxx ,gen mmm am having de ja vu???

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 3:43 am #

    to lily was here: that’s intersting!

  11. avatar
    CSTCoach | 15 September 2007 at 4:28 am #

    thanks for the review, druid. Some hilarious images in there. 🙂

    was just listening to mae moore tonight, bohemia, sparked by yestaday’s blog. some really nice stuff there. ethereal. reminded me a bit of the Hex stuff, though not as ethereal and floating as that. (speaking of hex, really love those two albums, and the liner notes were great)

    like kate bush too, and love the choich version of hounds of love.

    hmm, the buzz stuff sounds like a bad idea. a mountain of caffeine or sugar or something… would rather the yaaard medicine than refined sweets.


  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 5:39 am #

    It’s still going to a show no matter how you slice it and there is always something good about that.

    I love shows. In fact I’ve booked tix to your solo escapade at the Excelsior and am looking forward to it.

    No writhing on stage though, OK?

    I don’t dig that either.


  13. avatar
    Faye | 15 September 2007 at 5:43 am #

    …and luckily Tori didn’t have a bite of the wicked chockie!…..sheeeesh! xo..

  14. avatar
    verdelay | 15 September 2007 at 6:19 am #

    What exactly do you do to the spelling when you check it?

    Make it read Andre Breton?

  15. avatar
    davem | 15 September 2007 at 6:21 am #

    Will try and check out the buzz but I’ll leave Tori to you.
    I take it you were mostly going for NK?
    I confess I wouldn’t go and see Tori if she was playing in Brum and the tickets were free!!

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 6:46 am #

    I would have thought your spell checker died years ago

  17. avatar
    Leelinau | 15 September 2007 at 7:28 am #

    I seen tori in 1998, and I thought she was pretty good then (choir girl hotel tour).

    However, I don’t really care for her new single (big wheel?), which is all I’ve heard from her new set.

    Umm yea, where do we find this new delish treat….its dryer than a desert here FFS.


  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 8:29 am #

    Ok, went straight to the shop in newtown, got me some o that Buzzz stuff. Will try it later.
    Did a bit of research on the ingredients and it seems the bitter orange and kanna are the keys. Some interesting info I found. A very clever concoction is this Buzzz

    bitter orange contains Synephrine

    According to Wikipedia, �The extract of bitter orange (and bitter orange peel) has been used in dietary supplements as an aid to fat loss and as an appetite suppressant , although it is not recommended for use in isolation (in traditional Chinese medicine , it is always prescribed in concert with other support herbs). Bitter orange contains synephrine , a drug similar to ephedrine , acting as a stimulant.

    Anyway do a search on all the different ingredients and you get a picture how when all combined how it works. I nice natural combo.
    I’ll give my review of Buzzz also.

  19. avatar
    fantasticandy | 15 September 2007 at 9:04 am #

    some of tori’s early stuff is terrific, but in recent years she’s become far too self-absorbed, and the songwriting has suffered.

    i know how you feel though steve,
    i often find myself at gigs these days wondering what it’s all about!
    some artists peak early i guess, or perhaps simply run out of ideas?
    others…….ah well……
    there appears to be an endless seam of creative gold in ‘the olde kilbey mine’.
    hey! reminds me of a rather good song by our old pal NY!
    …he’s in good company.
    a spiffing weekend to all!
    andy L.

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 10:04 am #

    heel n toe..heel n toe…skip 2,3,4 ..heel n toe heel n toe…..I am the cabaret cow{girl}!…xx,.love,.Miss Gen x

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 10:07 am #

    P.S…these 5-8 year olds sure do know how to party!..we didn’t get home til 8 o’clock… xxxxx gen

  22. avatar
    Richard | 15 September 2007 at 11:25 am #

    22nd post and no-one has quipped “tori…spelling”?

    …well neither will I

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 12:07 pm #

    i dont get it richard……

  24. avatar
    isolde | 15 September 2007 at 12:29 pm #

    very vivid writing sk, better than being there
    best part about the opera house is going out during the intermission to the glass windows that jut out over the water and it feels like being in a lighthouse and looking at how the timber bits fit into the concrete shells, or going out to the ziggurat and seeing the lights on the tiles, its the most architectural fantasmic place up close, design by Jørn Utzon was inspired by the segments of an orange, just coincidentally

  25. avatar
    restaurant mark | 15 September 2007 at 12:46 pm #

    yeah, sounds like she’s over doing it a bit, doesn’t it? i can handle the writhing on the bench, but constant hand gestures, showing her ass, and the wig changes seem to be trying too hard at something. she already had a sexual energy…no need for that kind of exaggeration. oh well…like you said…a cocoon.

    is the buzzz legal or even sold here you think…haven’t heard of it until you mentioned it here…wants some though!

    take care everyone…good to hear veleska is well


  26. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 12:51 pm #

    Tori Spelling??? I see what you did there Steve…

  27. avatar
    Venus as a boy | 15 September 2007 at 12:53 pm #

    don’t leave out Bjork,from the grand mistresses..that’d be a bit sad…:( xo

  28. avatar
    fantasticandy | 15 September 2007 at 2:42 pm #

    also, apart from the link with the rather dire actress, there’s a pretty obscure album from way before she became famous called ‘y kant tori read’.
    ho hum.
    andy L.

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 3:15 pm #

    Kilbeing – I must find out more about this legal buzzz. Is Buzzz the brand name? I find no info online!

  30. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 15 September 2007 at 3:39 pm #

    Ms Amos is another one of those ostentatious “stars”. I saw Prince once and the music was good but he was lovedhimself to death on stage.

    The most modest rock star I have witnessed in concert is Steve Howe, the exemplary Yes guitarist. He jams on electic, acoustic and pedal steel. Does have showmanship but never crosses the line. I’ve seen Yes ten times. A fantastic Live band fronted by a nucleus comprising Jon Anderson, Chris Squire and Steve Howe.

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 4:50 pm #

    dear sk

    heartfelt birthday wishes
    to you (though a few days belated)
    hope all your
    birthday wishes
    come true

    birthday kisses

    p.s. loved reading about
    the tori concert and
    your 13th bday 🙂

    that chococolate
    buzz sounds
    heavenly …

  32. avatar
    persephone2u | 15 September 2007 at 5:19 pm #

    davem, that was great! I confess that I wouldn’t see Tori if I was paid a million dollars and then told I could sleep with Alan Rickman afterwards. Principles are principles.

    SK is right about the faking it bit. There are some who are mere musicians and can play the right chords and hit the right notes. Then there are artists. Two entirely different kettle of fish. SK is an artist, and the world needs more artists. It would make listening to the radio much more pleasant. Not that I ever listen to the radio. That’s what ipods are for…

  33. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 8:44 pm #

    I’ll take a cue from the opera you mentioned!
    Jorn Utzon is in my top five fave architects…thank you Isolde as ever!

    The thing about Opera is that smitten key…does it take you away calgon?
    I can’t say I’m an overzealous fan for the fine art of Opera, but it’s growing on me right quick.
    Me thinks to self, Tori- you must have caught the bug from Sarah Brightman, the superstar of Pop-Opera. Scratches head, ah but Ms. Brightman now married to Elvis Costello and in hiatus having the family. Many, including self are awaiting her overdue music. The superstar charges double tori fees for her tix, and her show is well worthy of it. She moves my skin to tingles, Sarah that is. It’s like a little piece of pop-italia come to visit!

    If you have not seen the Brightman segment on PBS, I highly recommend it- it’s more fine visuals than even I can manage, songs and scenes of the red emotion.

    Do you love “Without You” by Harry Neilson? This sort of romanctica is what Opera is supposed achieve…sounds like Tori was off a bit??!! I trust you on that Steve! ha. Today, I also heard Harry Neilson sing “Without You” in Italian…pop-op in advance. Sigh.


  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 15 September 2007 at 9:37 pm #

    aphrodesiac qualities? T M I

  35. avatar
    eek | 15 September 2007 at 10:00 pm #

    Unless Elvis Costello is a polygamist, he’s not married to Sarah Brightman. He’s married to Diana Krall. They had twin boys in December 2006.

  36. avatar
    andmoreagain | 15 September 2007 at 10:11 pm #

    I hadda a hippie girlfriend who worshipped Tori and tried to turn me on to her but I never really got it. Gives great interview and all but I’ve always found her stuff a little lacking or busy. 150 bucks! Who woulda thunk it? Gonna go see Loudon Wainwright tonite. 30 Canadian smackers. More like it.

  37. avatar
    andmoreagain | 15 September 2007 at 10:27 pm #

    P.S. Happy belated birthday Killa! Many more.

  38. avatar
    NickFiction | 15 September 2007 at 10:39 pm #

    Tori is an Arse!

  39. avatar
    Sunshine | 16 September 2007 at 1:13 am #

    Dear SK,
    Happiest of belated birthdays! I liked a couple of Tori’s early songs as well, but not enough to by them or any of the albums they were on. I didn’t get into her whole thing much at all. It’s definitely a “thing,” and I always felt Alanis did it mucb better, though she’s no piano player. I also don’t think Alanis has one-80th the ego-trip that Tori’s traveling on.

    Good job mentioning Bjork, venus as a boy! I was thinking she was missing in all this, but wasn’t sure she fit in with Tori at all. Bjork is kind of a class all her own, I think. Love her and her Sugar Cubes work, but I’m not sure about this recent album of hers.


  40. avatar
    Sunshine | 16 September 2007 at 1:14 am #

    ugh… “by” = “buy”

    My spell checker is on coffee break.

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 September 2007 at 12:26 pm #

    tori amos is a fucking joke! read it over and over. Spoiled little tramp with hog-sized ego. See what fame does for you?? God sometimes you just don’t come through.?. Here i am, amd I think you are a worthless self-bloated tramp who the masses, like idiots, worship for what?? waving her ass around and pouting, touching her crotch. Fuck her! hey world , grow up!!! Aren’t you wise enough to see how stupid and spoiled these morons are.. Go ahead, make you own music, your own world, what’s left of this know one is shit…I challenge any of you soft baked followers, esp you Steve, to debate this or any other fucking bloated ego. I got the ammo and the dreams. My advice, grow some fucking horns, or balls, call out these posers, don’ excuse them unless you may be one of them. Bjork- the same kind of self-inflated trash. …I help out handicapped kids everyday whose souls are far wore worthy than these over-fucking admired money and fame fascists….Word to your bullshit… on guard, all of you!!!!

  42. avatar
    god | 16 September 2007 at 12:47 pm #

    can we get a price check on anonymous’ at 10:47 pm…$2 seems a bit much,really???..though it is amusing to see him froth at the mouth!!

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 4:59 am #

    What? you’ve got Tori Spelling on your ipod?

  44. avatar
    John Garratt | 17 September 2007 at 3:10 pm #

    You check spelling on your blog? How?

    John Garratt

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 17 September 2007 at 4:04 pm #


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