posted on October 22, 2007 at 4:21 am

easy day
old sk goes swimmin’
smokes dope
plays guitar
thinks about nothin’ much
don’ wanna lay nothin’ too hard on ya
and then
again and again
cant seem to please every one
why fucking try?
cos thats the kinda man i am
i try to please everybody
usually pleasing none
yeah thats ok
least i dont work for the man
least i just hang around day in day out
a gig here
a meeting there
a session tonite in fact
singing sing singing
not work at all
god i am grateful i dont work
writin’ popsongs aint work
it might be hard to write good ones
but it aint work
nor is writing po-etry
or painting with pastels
doing yoga
watching the baby
doing chi gong
picking up kids from school
listening to pod
eating crisps
drinking blood orange juice
miranda came over last night
she is stunningly gorgeous
a cross between patti smith and uma thurman
with freckles and swedish accent
we are on each others wavelength
edgy girl tho she is sometimes
elli behaving very aristocratically
and swanning about
aurora has a lovely shaped head and stunning jawline
eve is energetic and works at another level
scarlet kilbey is a porky naughty little gooseball
my wifes very pretty
my brothers are nice
my mothers birthday tomorrow 23rd oct
happy birthday mum
there will be a card arriving before christmas
with a million dollar cheque
my sisterinlaws are lovely
my nieces n nephew are nice
i should be happy
the prime minister is a sad squeaky little creep
is he crying, dad? aurora asks when she sees him
the opposition leader
a smug school boy debater type
leader of the fucking LABOR party
lookin’ to buy a 5 million dollar HOLIDAY house
ah…aint you on the wrong team mister?
howard is a belligerent weasel
rudd is a twittering hamster
neither give a fuck about the “people”
neither is what i’d really call a man
both are effeminate in various ways
howard with his squeaky high pitched voice
rudd with his lips
his lipstick looks stupid says evie
and both are thoroughly despicable charisma-free twerps
surely we have better than this
please bring on turnbull n garrett
they gotta be better than these insipid limp chimps
sorry i cant vote for either of these hams
lucky i aint registered

52 Responses to “typing with one lobe behind my back”

  1. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 5:53 am #

    It does take all the spring out of one’s step to realise how few alternatives we truly have in government….still….could be worse….we could be living in America.


  2. avatar
    the dean | 22 October 2007 at 6:01 am #

    I’ve declared a media blackout upon myself until after the election. Bob Brown’s Ok.

  3. avatar
    verdelay | 22 October 2007 at 6:23 am #

    It’s not the pollies
    It’s the aussies
    Wot did it

    Eleven years of squeaky little creep
    And I blame myself
    And every other Australian
    Who let the fucker get away with murder

    Bring on the hamster

  4. avatar
    Melissa | 22 October 2007 at 6:47 am #

    I hope very, very much that little Johnnie really WILL be crying at the end of election day.


    I’m really not sure what to think of Garrett anymore, after he appears to agree with the new pulp mill in Tassie. very disappointing.

    Bob Brown for President 😀

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 6:47 am #

    sk for pm
    the only one worth voting for.

    Lady Di

  6. avatar
    toboggin | 22 October 2007 at 6:57 am #

    lady d = sycophant extremis

  7. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 6:58 am #

    Glad you didn’t go away sk, I can’t handle a day without ttb!
    The Kilbey’s do sound like a beautiful bunch, you’re a lucky guy by the sounds of it.
    What are you singing tonight??? Could it be the start of the NEW Church album recording???
    Love u,

  8. avatar
    eek | 22 October 2007 at 7:09 am #

    When I read Howard had called elections for this November I nearly cried. Fucking Hell! We’ve been in full campaign mode for months and months and the damned presidential election isn’t going to take place until November of 2008. AARRGGGHH!!!! I don’t think I can stand it. It might be worth it if any of them were worth a damn, but they aren’t. Bunch of useless sound byte speaking bobbleheads. Blech!

    Happy Birthday to your mum! 🙂


    i should be happy

    And you know it. But when one of those funks hit, it’s hard to feel it even though you know you should. But the funks pass and you will feel all the joy you know you should.*

    (* not advice. just agreement.)

  9. avatar
    Thelonious | 22 October 2007 at 8:31 am #

    Great stuff SK. My sentiments exactly. If I want a Howard clone I’ll just vote for fckn howard. Both pathetic. By the way SK, I want your life am sick of the man, am sick of being the man. Anyway hi all commentators.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 8:33 am #

    have a great one tonight Steven! … xxA

  11. avatar
    12str | 22 October 2007 at 8:40 am #

    seems like a good life SK..
    my new job is taking all the time in the world… marketing strategies.. concertprograms and artist bookings,eventorganizing and partyplanning…its a f*****g fun job! we´ve moved down to Gothenburg ,found ourselves a nice apartment and been doing a lot of painting and interior decorating at nights…. the only problem is that i dont seem to get the time to play my guitar or write the songs i have in my mind… and that is frustrating as hell… all in good time i guess and hope… tried to contact your art admin on the matter of some ideas i have for a marketing campaign including your artwork,havent heard anything though..please contact me so i can explain my thoughts about this if youre intrested.its a good idea i think… a very good idea.. a fantastic idea if i may say so myself..
    take care


    ps. a brilliant idea 😉

  12. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 9:19 am #

    Fuck, I envy your lifestyle, Steve. My one big regret in life is that I never learned to play an instrument (I’m now 39)despite the fact that I’m a complete music nerd – I just love music so much. Think I would’ve lost my mind without it.

    I’m fairly blessed myself, though. I am just starting out as a freelance copywriter, so I am pretty much a free agent myself, which has always been my goal.

    On a different note: Waiting for “Painkiller” is EXCRUCIATING.
    When will it be released, Steve?

    Thomas Thomsen, Denmark.

  13. avatar
    lily was here | 22 October 2007 at 11:13 am #

    Garrett no way. Hes not ready. Turnbull yes, def like him to be up there in the running next round. Roll on Nov so we can go back to picking on just one bobblehead. Man though, the thought of that smiley-face Rudd being THE person to represent our beautiful country makes me cringe.

    “i try to please everybody
    usually pleasing none”

    Not true nevets. You only piss off a couple of people now and then, but you’ll only veer off track if you try to please everyone. If thats what you’re doing then its wrong, but totally endearing. It could be worse, your hairline could be receding right back, forcing you to grow a black moustache heh

    Give Joycie her birthday card on time! I dont feel so bad now that yrs is still sitting on the table — next to the paisley ball protector I thought of sending you…just kidding
    love S

    Take a break and finish Painkiller! Memesis 1-5, Turkeyneck Lasso2, Gilt Trip 3, Van Gogh2…subliminal messaging in progress

  14. avatar
    lily was here | 22 October 2007 at 11:17 am #

    ps in no way is that a referral to mwp! You’ll know who I meant

  15. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 12:00 pm #

    you do have a blessed life with your family, steve and sometimes i wish i had a job that didn’t take up so much of my after-hours time (ie teacher)…have to disagree with you on peter garrett, was with him pretty much 100% of the way until he approved of the pulp mill in tasmania and now i think he’s a fucking hypocrite…not a helluva lot of great choices for pm, are there…i reckon you’d do a great job in canberra, mr kilbey, could just see you shaking the foundations of parliament house…feed all of the pollies some buzzzz…peace and lurve…
    love always
    -The Hellbound Heart

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 12:11 pm #

    these pollies need to understand:There is no such thing as an excuse!…ya either wanted to do it,….or you didnt?!

  17. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 12:40 pm #

    “i’m a liar, lair, i never tell the truth.”

    politics 101
    united states
    and other territories


  18. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 1:47 pm #

    R U Serious

    you’re not registered to vote !
    the ultimate hypocrite
    you judge judge judge
    and gee I’m glad your daughters are so fab!
    I hope they don’t inherit your lame sense of god knows what that has addled your brain
    yeah I know you don’t eat meat so you dont have to answer to any mortal politokan.
    It’s soft cocks like u that let soft cocks like them get in
    sometimes those who don’t have a job, those who just sing sing play whatever, should do just that

  19. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 1:59 pm #

    i hope your wife don’t read this….

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 2:14 pm #

    why precisely is that 11:59?

  21. avatar
    veleska1970 | 22 October 2007 at 2:19 pm #

    well, at long last i’m finally doing what i love as a way of life. i wish everyone could.

    “lucky i aint registered”
    smart man~~i ain’t either.

    have a good evening, steve.

    lotza love…..

  22. avatar
    relic | 22 October 2007 at 2:22 pm #

    The Kevin 07 thing is enuff to put me off him. I think Kilbey is joshing about not being registered Because you can always do a donkey vote.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 2:25 pm #

    yes veleska

    not voting is what got you where you are now
    way to go!
    don’t ever whinge about hurricane katrina again
    if you dont step up you dont get to whinge

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 2:28 pm #

    oh relic

    sk would never donkey vote
    a donkey is an animal dooh
    he would rather be a stoopid human bean

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 2:34 pm #


    i think maybe because he talked about his daughters as hot and on his wave length but his wife just got a pretty way down the list
    when i read the description of pattiuma I thought he was describing someone he fancied

  26. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 22 October 2007 at 3:05 pm #

    Happy B-Day to Sk’s mom. In England Brown and Cameron are competing to be more green than the other (that’s good). Starting to really enjoy all the solo CDs. The remastered CDs with bonus tracks are excellent. The Slow Crack, Remindlessness and Unearthed. I need to locate the updated Narcosis.

  27. avatar
    mandn | 22 October 2007 at 3:17 pm #

    Hallo Orpheus,

    my new favorite drink if I am in the mood for something fizzy is ginger ale and pomegranate juice.
    Of course if you want something more adult, feel free to substitute the ginger ale for champgne.

    love on ya’,

  28. avatar
    fantasticandy | 22 October 2007 at 3:18 pm #


  29. avatar
    red dirt girl | 22 October 2007 at 4:41 pm #

    a day of beauty …. soaking it all in…. just soaking it all in

  30. avatar
    JONNY NOT YET SO HOLLYWOODISH | 22 October 2007 at 5:52 pm #

    last time eye voted was for Bill Clinton cos he plays the sax and smokes pot, eye know deep deep down Hillary smokes as well, but eye don’t rock the vote anymore, sorry Hillary…
    The Nev Man

  31. avatar
    Cee | 22 October 2007 at 6:57 pm #

    I became a US Citizen so I COULD vote, still do, it makes sense in my head and it gives me the right to piss and moan!

  32. avatar
    davem | 22 October 2007 at 8:06 pm #

    I wish you weren’t so hard on yourself. You please thousands of us on a daily basis.
    I used to be a fairly active in our Labour Party. Leaflet dropping, canvassing….not since Iraq though. Waited 17 long years for a Labour Government and then that. I don’t know anything about your bloke over there but I try to keep the faith here in Gordon but it’s a shallow faith.
    Keep doing what you do Steve. Loads of us believe in you and are really grateful for the effort you put into your art.
    I’ve said it before and I couldn’t give a shite about anons on here…I’m in your corner.
    Much love,

  33. avatar
    steve kilbey | 22 October 2007 at 10:00 pm #

    heres yer cabinet
    minister for esoteric affairs : verdelay
    minister for defence : cst coach
    minister for proper gander : eekie
    minister for vegism n jeff beck : bri bri come a ford
    minister for cardboard boxes and emps new clothes :
    bon bon
    minister for latin affairs :cecilia cee
    minister for sensibile things : the dean
    minister for outer space : jonny hollywould
    minister for forbidden lurve : hellbound hart
    minister for weeds n 12 strings : pat the swede
    minister for grooviness : ricki miami
    minister for poetry and rehoboth beach :mel q ades
    minister for tex ass : vel eska
    minister for goji berries and soy cheese : r mchealthy
    personal assistants to prime minister:
    lady di
    lily camp belle
    chairman : neptune andy
    security : dutch pierre and paul footlights
    spiritual advisor : jaime r
    occaisional rabbit control : krissy the g
    treasurer : matty d
    which leaves you
    vice deputy pm
    of course
    your fearful unbeloved leader
    primed minister
    the dishonourable sj kill-bee

    you voted donkey
    you got an ass
    you polled yourself
    you chads are detached
    your preferences are passed on
    your gerrymander is a newt
    your electorate is detumescing
    your senate is stoned
    your congress is sexual
    uninvited (like the clouds) to your own party
    your deregistered and delightful
    apolitical flim flam
    deficit budgies
    strauss levies
    tacks tax
    tim polls
    a war on wars
    legalisation of love
    let them eat hash cake
    thats it
    honi soit

  34. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 10:21 pm #

    excellent!…and the minister for morons is?…geee…i’ve forgotten her name….

  35. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 10:47 pm #

    you forgot the “Minister for Lost Things”-genx…pardon the pun,but,see ya!…gen

  36. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 11:01 pm #

    Genx-the shadow minister for fairy-bombs eh killer?does your wife read ur blog?

  37. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 11:39 pm #

    ah,gen.does that mean that youre finally going to piss off?FINALLY.GOOD RIDDENCE!

  38. avatar
    Anonymous | 22 October 2007 at 11:53 pm #

    charming sk!simply charming!

  39. avatar
    rubikon | 23 October 2007 at 1:01 am #

    You appear to live in a State of Grace Steve.

    As for politicians, I can’t say I believe in any one of them.

    Happy birthday to your mum.

    Have a wonderful day.

  40. avatar
    steve kilbey | 23 October 2007 at 1:24 am #

    my wife reads my palm

  41. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 October 2007 at 1:37 am #

    Glad the Kilbey clan are all well, you have been blessed. Hope your Mum has a very happy day.

    Will be glad when all these election adds are off the tele, though if u were in one, keep them on.

    Hope the rumour bout the Church & Divinlys playing in Dec is true.
    I missed seeing both bands live in my yoof, even though I’ve seen the Church a couple of times since I rediscovered you, I would like to see the Divinyls. How bout u & Chrissie swap books? Good way to start a new friendship. When I met her at her book signing she was a lovely lady.

    As it is near Halloween let us have a treat Sat nite and hear you play “Suzanne”. Loved the description you gave of that song, very insitefull.

    Hope your rsi is better, please rest those precious guitar hands.

    Peace & Love,

    p.s. Amanda
    I’m counting down the days too to Sat. Hope it’s a hot weekend in Sydley & Melby.
    If those calves of his become too famous, he may have to insure them.
    Hope you have a good Kilbey Sunnyday.

  42. avatar
    Olde Amps | 23 October 2007 at 1:42 am #

    Ha ha ha…nice one blog in ages. I disagree with the Garrett/Turnbull comments though…they are both hypocrites and arseholes.

    Bob Brown is our only hope but he has as much chance of winning as I do. Howard and Rudd are cut from the same sickly cloth…we will all be losers regardless of which loser wins.

    Blog was great though…keep ’em coming…and where the hell is Painkiller?

    And what were you singinginginging??? Come on man…give us the skinny.

  43. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 October 2007 at 1:55 am #

    Now everyone lay off Peter Garrett…you know how I feel about him. Unlike the old fella I don’t tolerate dissent in my ministry.

    Rt. Hon. B. Bon

  44. avatar
    andmoreagain | 23 October 2007 at 4:07 am #

    Just sent you some $$ Kilbster since everyone knows you can’t make it in politics without bribes. Seriously though, thanks for this blog, I do appreciate it and I’ve just been procratstinating about contributing. (Also I couldn’t figure out the paypal thing until I had to (bought a used copy of Rubin and Ed on-line).

  45. avatar
    Anonymous | 23 October 2007 at 4:33 am #

    Just make sure you don’t put your lips anywhere near Chrissie Amphlet’s SM58 mic 🙂

  46. avatar
    ~ | 23 October 2007 at 4:34 am #

    It would be my pleasure…
    to personally
    assist you
    with whatever hocus pocus as well as
    law making law breaking
    a minister in his prime
    sees fit
    I could prolly maybe perhaps
    the press releases
    and davem,
    as the um, vice…
    would that make us
    the liquor cabinet?


  47. avatar
    andmoreagain | 23 October 2007 at 4:38 am #

    Put your lips near Christine’s what???

  48. avatar
    eek | 23 October 2007 at 11:11 am #

    minister for proper gander : eekie


    I particularly love that there are so many ways to interpret that. 🙂

  49. avatar
    Ethereal Butterfly | 23 October 2007 at 12:08 pm #

    I’m with U B.Bon, and I know that we live in democracy but how would it be if voting wasn’t compulsory? Women (the suffragettes) died to be able to have the right to vote and the indigenous in this country have only had the right to vote for a relatively short time – (since 1962) so I choose to exercise my right to vote as it feels right for me, that‘s not to say I haven’t done a donkey vote before, like when I was a young surfie chick and was too lazy to be bothered to read up on the discourses taking place. However, now I just want a good future for the world, not just MY Country and MY kids, but for the planet and I personally feel a sense of obligation to contribute to this by exercising my right to vote. However, we do live in a democracy and this is only how I feel about the issue….

    This has certainly been a fiery discussion………bring it on……….. flutter, woooooooosh……….

    (Hey it’s my mum’s b-day today 2………..Happy Birth – Day mums…………)

  50. avatar
    timf | 24 October 2007 at 2:10 am #

    king rude daddy longblogs???
    nice sample lyrics…just for that here are ALL the lyrics to a song i wrote.
    its a folk/protest/christmas carol. I’m getting the kids prepared for a gig on the steps of our local utility company once the lights start going up..then our member of parliments office..goes a little like this…imagine a fun upbeat number here we go a one…and a two…

    burning coal
    spewing cee o two
    just to light up
    this christmas night
    for you…

    la-da-dee-da da-dee-da deedy da-

    peace on earth
    what is it worth
    a piece of earth
    what is it worth

    la-da-dee-da da-dee-da deedy da

    umm..its a work in progress

    sorry ole chum. credit card denied again on the old honesty box, sorry bout that…those neil young tix put me over the edge..that an increase in energy expenses. you know how it is. keep the meter runnin’ please…

  51. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 October 2007 at 8:44 pm #

    Lurve! BIG TIME BABY! . sunshine n kisses!*

  52. avatar
    Anonymous | 5 July 2008 at 2:52 am #

    Interesting. Thanks for the article.

    You can also find contract law at

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