posted on March 1, 2008 at 11:10 am

last night i drank ayahuasca for the 1st time
(google it!)
please dont bother with your anti-drug baloney
this is not a recreational drug
this is not lsd
this is not mushrooms
this is not ketamine or laughing gas
nor pot or hash
or even ibogaine
this is something above and below all of these
and more
i drove with a friend
who has drunken mother vine a few times before
a peaceful house
far away from the city
near the sea
surrounded by the bush
beautiful vegetation
oh how i have been loving my trees and flowers
and leaves and shrubs and fronds and …
after virtually ignoring it most of my life
i am beginning to attune to this spirit
it was already happening before
yoga blah blah blah
steering me in the right direction
there is something i have hated in me
unknown
shadow
darkness
secret
horror
fear
nausea
pain
ache
sorrow
grief
out out out you vile fucking spot!
oh boy you dont evict the very fabric of yerself like that
just cos ya wanna…
otherwise life’d be a breeze
but ya cant let it go
even if you knew what it was
and you dont….
i knew instinctively the vine would help me
and it did
not in glorious visions
or realiasation
but i vomited for about 6 hours
out mercury
out cadmium
out fertilizer
out ddt
out weedkiller
out electro-poison
out evil thoughts
out thwarted ambition
out this and that
out worms and parasites
all the while baby im tripping
a horror
just quite bearable
shot through with encouragements from the vine
that they said loved me
i said lady, mother vine be gentle to me
she said oh my childe i am i am
i purged i purged i purged
everybody did to some extent
me more than most
but i have more baggage than most i guess
mine will be the higher point
if i can ever stand to get there
it was like a heroin withdrawal
cold sweat, the horrors
the freezing freezing coldness
i was under 4 quilts and i was still fucking freezing
my feet like cold wet blocks of ice
i’d stepped in water and my wooly socks were wet
the people facilitating this event talked to me
gentle encouraging things
all the people there
were bona fide seekers
all with different levels of experience
the guy called the magician
was a crazy mad professor type
who arrived rubbing his hands with glee
and wearing a kind of obstetricians light on his forehead
in the darkness we pounded up the fresh vine
a south american strain grown in a secret aust location
that this magician had travelled by plane n car a long way
to obtain
he had also obtained acacia which was now dmt crystals
in the amazon the vine is served with the local dmt equivalent
i was too nauseous to try n get this down so i declined
the dmt
thus cutting out a large visual component
i didnt mind the taste
but everybody else seemed to hate it
the magician most of all
someone said the vine likes you steve
and the magician seemed to chuckle softly
sometimes he was to pass by me in the night
and whisper
why dont you let it all go?
or did i imagine that?

part 2 tomorrow

20 Responses to “vegetalista! pt 1”

  1. avatar
    Ayahuascus Pernath | 1 March 2008 at 12:02 pm #

    volunteering for a trip to the basement of inner hell. i won’t have the courage to meet all the dirt inside me…yet-..
    no any anti-drug sermon from me at all (guess why…hehe) – and this sounds like a journey that should be taken someday

  2. avatar
    ross b | 1 March 2008 at 12:37 pm #

    Wonderful blog. Have you read Sting’s autobio??…he goes into detail in his first chapter of his experience with ayahuasca, I think it was Brazil 1987…Sting then moves his narrative from his early years and ends his book pretty much with the beginning of the rise of the Police etc…

    I hope it’s all gone well for you – the trees flowers and shrubs etc is an important part of the journey I think, in my experience, the experience of loving and recognising natural life in the moment of perceiving lightens the load, brings light and innocence into the being, gratitute etc….one of the best places for nature worship for me actually – of all places – is Tidbinbilla nature reserve which is about 30-40 minute drive south of Canberra – I used to go every winter for 5-6 years in a row with a friend who was into the same thing, ritualistic hiking etc ….something about that area, apart from its striking beauty, is a certain ultra-dimensional quality about it, it feels subtely like another planet…the tracking station is there too so I suspect it’s a landing ground for ufos, it certainly feels like it…

    Enough, I’ve had a bit to drink, good night! Lotsa luv & kindness, rb.

  3. avatar
    fantasticandy | 1 March 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    i guessed right…..
    i knew you would do this eventually.

    iv’e had a near-death experience already thanks!
    urgh….all that retching..
    luv,
    andy L.

  4. avatar
    persephone2u | 1 March 2008 at 1:09 pm #

    Strange. I usually have vivid dreams thanks to my imagination (ha!), but last night I had a bizarre dream with you and a bunch of people wandering around outside in some vast place. I can’t remember all the details of it but recall walking around with a large group of people and everyone was looking for something. I don’t know what it was, but you and the others were all searching for something outside and wandering around and then disappearing into the night and then reappearing again a little while later. What the search was about I know not, but now I wished I’d paid attention to the dream when I first woke up so I could’ve remembered it.

  5. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 March 2008 at 1:17 pm #

    “A decoction of DMT and harmala alkaloids used in religious ceremonies has a safety margin comparable to codeine, mescaline or methadone.”

    Addiction Jan2007, Vol. 102 Issue 1, p24-34

    Note the cultural context.. I still say don’t go there.

    – Lebrinho

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 March 2008 at 1:38 pm #

    Ah sorry, I forgot the title of the article..

    Gable, Robert S.: Risk assessment of ritual use of oral dimethyltryptamine (DMT) and harmala alkaloids. (Addiction Jan2007, Vol. 102 Issue 1, p24-34)

    Remember, science wears a white stetson.

    – Lebrinho

  7. avatar
    Issakimani | 1 March 2008 at 4:26 pm #

    Wow Steve, “Vine of the Souls”. I am Peruvian, but never tried it. I visited Iquitos and stayed in the jungle when I was 15. I would love to go back and experience an Ayahuasca cleansing with Amazonian shamans. Sounds like you purged a lot of dark energy and toxins. I know my soul and body would benefit from that also. Can’t wait to hear more. Congratulations and good luck!!! Love you!!!

    One Love,
    Kari

  8. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 1 March 2008 at 4:28 pm #

    Enthralling blog and experience. Sk is a psychedelic, nature loving spiritual explorer. His mind is equally expansive and inclusive. How he does it-God only knows.

    I did ample research on Peter Hammill. An extremely impressive, profound and eclectic lyricist and vocalist. VERY UNDER-APPRECIATED.

    Listening to “Music United For Animals” by the UK’s Maria Daines. A salient and wonderful CD.

  9. avatar
    daydreamer | 1 March 2008 at 5:29 pm #

    Bleah. Sorry. Reminds me too much of past experiences with organic psychadelics. Good luck purging your demons, Steve.

    love,
    Sandy

  10. avatar
    restaurant mark | 1 March 2008 at 6:29 pm #

    hello everyone…testing my computer here…hasn’t been letting me post lately/browser problem, i guess…my macs getting old!

  11. avatar
    davem | 1 March 2008 at 6:37 pm #

    I don’t fancy all that vomiting sk. Looking forward to part 2 though before I rule it out altogether…
    Greetings all.
    xx

  12. avatar
    restaurant mark | 1 March 2008 at 6:46 pm #

    hello steve…everyone. my imac g4 has been really weird lately…not letting me do certain things, and as it would figure, on my favorite sites. been out of town so much to begin with and then when i do get a chance to write…i get nothing, just an error message. need a new mac…mine still looks new, but has turned into a dinosaur apparently. ran disk warrior this morning and got lucky…for the time being…funny…no pun intended.

    sorry about your lost artwork and fed ex debacle…someone really tapping into your checking account??? that’s never any good!

    on a lighter note…like to see that you’re still exploring steve…continuing the journey, if ya know what i mean?

    with any luck…talk to ya tomorrow everyone

    take care

    mark

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 1 March 2008 at 7:36 pm #

    an emetic
    a cleansing
    that’s what I need
    It’s been some time
    too long since I’ve fasted
    feeling like it’s time to purge

    I love this journal, Steve.
    hints of horror
    and beauty enveloped in
    a recount of the evening’s journey

    Thanks for the light,
    Brian aka Mel

  14. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 1 March 2008 at 9:23 pm #

    Oh God. I may need purging but I have such a pathological fear of vomiting I could *never* do this. More power to you however, if this was a cleansing experience for you – no judgment passed here.
    denise

  15. avatar
    B Raine | 1 March 2008 at 9:29 pm #

    is google LSD
    because
    it tripps me out..

    steve, Moment of well-being and clarity….a cousins Death….dizziness

    at the point I read about.

    where If I dont change NOW
    I cant Go on
    people that surround me
    my pathetic
    know it all
    I know nothing

    It passed
    No depression or anxiety
    took deep breathe
    and had sympothy for a priest
    a pedifile

    I listened to the man

    his attraction/addiction

    Than I fealt Ive been blind
    for as long as i can remember

    and if i dont change
    literally Im dying faster

    contemplating
    Listening to the answers in myself
    will save me
    ignoring will kill me

    No drugs—just clarity this time more
    able to communicate –selflessley
    I fealt It was here to stay.
    I got knocked out of it

    2nd time in my life
    an angel showed me
    what lies ahead

    Im not very good at self-discipline

    Everything in my life
    needs to change
    I dont eat, I smoke I take pills

    all on th table

    been treating her wrong
    and I didnt offer meaningless apologgy

    I Told her all I fealt
    I could say
    was I want to live

    and I hoped it wasnt to late

    My cousin edrea died..Ive not dealt w.grief young anerexic
    she wrote poems
    we were going to meet as adults

    I could be gone
    My X had to see I saw i was Blind

    Moments of clarity
    this ones serious
    I cant pretend
    The point has come
    where I cant go on
    another breathe

    time to swing the other way
    i wonder where your inspiration comes from

    You put healthy things in your mind/body

    Ive let myself be reduced to an idiot
    I played the fool
    And learned
    Now I must Move on

    answrers….Im afraid…..Ill slip back into blindness
    I kknow
    I love and can be so much
    I know
    its there
    You are entitled to
    standing up str8
    naked
    and protesting
    I am HIP

    I have a long trip ahead
    say a prayer
    Ill be there
    I know
    Love

  16. avatar
    galamor the wizard | 1 March 2008 at 11:18 pm #

    I don’t fancy the vomiting! Sounds like Carlos Castenada and the Mescalin and dog episode!!
    I Googled it up and it looks like most “Wattles” barks are hallucinogenic. Adds a whole new dimension to “Wattle day”!(first of August…or is it September?)
    Doesn’t sound like the sort of thing one could throw 10 years and zillions of dollars on…do what you have to do.

  17. avatar
    Paul Lightfoot | 2 March 2008 at 1:31 am #

    Fucking brilliant! Now I’m gonna roll a huge log before reading Vegetelista part 2. The BESTEST read in ages. That Magician – amongst the spirits.

  18. avatar
    lily was here | 2 March 2008 at 6:03 am #

    And to think that music was my first thought when you said ‘tonite im doing something quite cosmic’!

    There once was a musician
    who purged all his sins
    in a ayan sanctuary,
    a garden of violins
    While his guide lay peacefully
    contemplating the heavens
    this man threw up ten-fold
    till no more could he bear
    he journeyed on home to reveal to his wife
    how he managed to unburden all guilt,
    trouble and strife.

    Well, im no poet but i had the urge to write this. Quite an experience SK, Im glad we get to read about it.

    x

  19. avatar
    Cee | 3 March 2008 at 2:30 am #

    magico mago de mano con la magia

  20. avatar
    Anonymous | 3 March 2008 at 11:05 pm #

    Los Angeles? Why?
    Love knot


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