posted on April 25, 2006 at 7:58 am

you see
thats the trubble with me….
yesterdays blogg
what a vile rant
bilious poisonous tripe
that stopped being funny
about a second after i typed it..
oh yes my wise brother
who appears on these pages in different guises
warning me when i go too far
judge not lest ye be yourself judged
(now mr p. savant
as eager as you are
to stick it to the manne
just take my name off that rant
and you can go do whatever you like
with it
especially if youre in the taxation dept
try not to stick it up on the noticeboard
in the vip bathroom
but i sympathise with ya
i really do
the security sucks you under
but it suffocates ya at the same time
there will be more on my
misadventures in the ps coming soon)
but back to 2 things
which puzzle me about my self
why cant i get control of my evil twin?
why canberra?
why does canberra haunt my thoughts
now fiendsss have ya ever noticed
theres some silly man putting some olde
and dreadful lyrics up on the comments?
are they supposed to embarass me?
(jesus, they sure do)
but what is the real reason?
cmon, unmask yaself,
i gotta pretty good idea who you are
or put some new ones up there
gee it gives me the creeps to think of ya
sitting in ya office typing that same olde
nonsense everytime
and cmon
if ya really know me
as i assume yer insinuating
ya must have some worse ones up ya sleeve
than those tired olde turkeys

but why do my thoughts turn towards canberra
when i have been so many places since then
ive done so much
ive been up
ive been down
i seen places that i never thought id see
(yeah kilbey, like the inside offa u.s. jail)
i been to one of the most northern cities on earth
the guy who put the gig on was worried that the
good ice- hole fishing was gonna ruin
the walk up for the gig
now thatsa problem
you dont have in sydney at least
i been to rio de janeiro
like a wild lawless sydney itself
thatssa a wild place fiendss
they got everything there
despite having done all the stuff
and not having lived there for 30 years
the place niggles at me
it makes me laugh to think of a few olde codgers
who hated me when i was “on the canberra scene” man)
who now dine out on their stories
how they knew me n pete
and how
blah blah blah
(insert yer own baby grande anecdote here, boys)
some score is unsettled?
what does olde canberra want with me?
i thought itd be sweet revenge on ya
when i become a huge olde rock star for my
fifteen minutes
but to tell ya the truth i did never think
of ya at all in those days…
now dont get me wrong canberrans
i love so many of you dear thingss
kathy n kon up in harkett
these people fill my heart with tenderness
i cant believe how nice they are
no animal products either
sometimes i imagine myself walking
thru canberra on a hot
(always a hot canberran night
the smell of the pines)
i walk thru the suburbs
to gaze on the people i know
and knew there
my uncle ken and aunty irene
speartackle…how are ya?
the saga bouys…it was my fault, lads…
itsa ok
i was a real ratbag
the noisy one in class
just like now
i couldnae control my evil twin
who looked just like me
except he had a horrible way
of pissing everybody off
im sorry
i thought geniuses were allowed
(supposed?) to act like that
im sorry to all the guitarists
bass players
who i criticised
rudely loudly obnoxiously
yes dave studdert kicked me outta his groop
hell baby grande kicked me outta my own group
im sure the hcruhc have entertained the thought
if you think im obnoxious
you should see how it feels to be me
remember the lady called hel
one side beauty
the other rotting corpse
thats like me
half sinner
half saint
so i guess i got some unfinished bizness
with canberra
but when i go there
i can never find what it is
it has evaporated over the years
leaving only the congealed crust
of some nagging feeling
russell n i hadda look at our olde house
theres no nostalgia here
i say to him
its a mansion now
all our memories are gone
same with the school
me n russell go down there sometimes
only once
on a warm dusk in december
did we make contact with the past..
its all comin back to me

baby grande was pretty rough
you dont really wanna hear it
i dont blame the others
they were my stupid songs
it was right they should be banished
to obscurity
you see
i think its wherever you are
between childhood n adulthood
it weaves a spell upon ya
throws a glamour on ya dreams
somewhere inside me
is an eternal canberran adolescent
going round this world
looking outta my eyes
and going wow
and then
typing rants lika yessadays
can i come more cleen than that?
happily ever after

34 Responses to “walk the pathways that the studious choose”

  1. avatar
    damien | 25 April 2006 at 9:06 am #

    Don’t be too hard on yerself, SK. I think many of us are shadowed by an “evil twin”, obnoxious and opinionated. My friends even have a name for mine – “The Professor”. He usually appears after one or twelve beers, though!

    Don’t feel bad about the anti-public service rant either. It was funny!

  2. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 9:33 am #

    I lived in Canberra for a few years when I was young. My inner child is now homeless because our house from then burnt down in the bushfires a few years ago.

    I really like Canberra. People think I’m weird for that. I love the crisp winters with sunny skies, I love that it attracts smart young people – who mainly move away after a few years – but you can always be guaranteed excellent dinner party discussions there.

    Adelaide is my equivalent to your Canberra. I moved back here last year and found there were bugger all demons for me to deal with at all. They’ve all moved on, or they’re dead.

    Maybe spend some time there. Hang out. Do some stuff Meet the people who haunt you – and find out they’ve either been neutered, or they’ve disappeared.

    Your rant yesterday was funny.

    Metal Petal

  3. avatar
    Tony Pucci | 25 April 2006 at 9:41 am #

    i think you hit the nail on the head there, sk
    stating it’s where you are
    between childhood n adulthood
    that sticks with you
    that indeed gives substance to your dreams
    the child feels the world full of possibilities
    the adult feels time has not passed him/her by
    open to all
    tabula rasa
    the world is yer oyster
    and even silly songs
    from unpolished writers
    have some naive glory to them

    for me it was a year spent
    in Red Wing, Minnesota
    (Bob Dylan spent a year there
    “highway 61” runs through the town,
    but he was in a juvenile hall,
    different story)
    when I was 18-19
    obtaining a luthiery degree
    (i am indeed qualified
    to be yer loyal guitar tech)
    at the vocational/technical college
    we’d climb the bluffs overlooking
    the mississippi river
    and get high on altitude and grass
    long before we had reason
    to consider ourselves

    loveya, tp

  4. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 9:53 am #

    im going to bed now, im tired. tuesday public holidays perturb my sense of logic and public servitude.

  5. avatar
    CAPTAIN BEYOND | 25 April 2006 at 10:07 am #

    me like your reminiscent stories of old, we ALL are still kids at heart…

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 10:24 am #

    sk, you don’t need to apologise about what you write in your own blog, it’s people like that “creepy lyric writer” you mentioned that needs his head checked.

    P.S. what happened to that live recording????

    love always,

  7. avatar
    rehan | 25 April 2006 at 11:19 am #

    That’s okay! You’re only human!

  8. avatar
    Daberhasher | 25 April 2006 at 11:39 am #

    dude, the evil twin can still be right about things… it just ain’t as pretty when it comes out… nothin’ to be ashamed of though, i reckon… we all got one of those dopplyganjas, mine’s called “the hammer”…

    Ft. Lauderdale is my Canberra, strange feelings…
    repulsed and drawn
    red light
    green light


  9. avatar
    pjm | 25 April 2006 at 12:03 pm #

    Re: old lyrics

    I saw Sarah Harmer when she came through town a few months ago; she played a song called “Basement Apartment” which she’s recorded two or three times in the last decade, the first time with her old band, Weeping Tile.

    She introduced it by saying, “You know how there’s a time in your life when you over-dramatize everything?”

    Sounds like the same thing you’re saying…

  10. avatar
    John Garratt | 25 April 2006 at 1:34 pm #

    Go back to visit…because


  11. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 1:56 pm #

    I spent a long 24 hours in canberra on tour with David Gates & Bread in 1997, when they played there. And (no offence SK) what a wreched lil’ place I found it to be. It made the next gig – Newcastle seem like Corfu. A Public Savan-aaha, where they’re known by number rather than by name. Only black & white maps available at the shop. Information!!! And this ugly tower thing on the hill where obviously Number 2 lived. And as we left The Village, I mean Canberra, back to Sydney I looked in the rear vision mirror, in case Rover was rolling down the highway after us.

    Guess you have to know the place. I mean you grew up there our King of Fieends. But there’s much worse places to grow up I can tell ya. Like where I grew up on the industrious North Wales, border, yet a mere 8 miles from the idyllic Arrowe Park, on The Wirral, Cheshire, where M W-P grew up.

    Paul L

  12. avatar
    mjolnir | 25 April 2006 at 1:58 pm #

    per’ap ye thinks too hard–One day the answers’ll sneek in–when yer not lookin’

  13. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 2:00 pm #

    In Violet Town…

  14. avatar
    CeciliaGin | 25 April 2006 at 3:10 pm #

    The experiences of our past form a part of who we are. We can come to terms with the memories that haunt, we can let them go or we can keep them by our side for as long as we need to.

  15. avatar
    RA | 25 April 2006 at 7:10 pm #

    Say what u like drude… i care not if you are an angry phuquer sometimes.. so am I.

    It matters`not because i am listening to the best album I’ve heard in years as i type. bugger me sideways with a copy of the Radio Times, it’s good.

    Love, peace and good happiness from suny Southport UK.


    PS. Paul in Aukland at 11.56.. I’ve been on Deeside all day, just near Queensferry. Grim. It’s one redeeming feeture is the (now) soulless Deeside Leisure Centre, where on the 31st of October 1981 I saw Rush for the first time…

  16. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 7:36 pm #

    No, you can’t come any more clean.

    In fact it makes perfect sense.

    There’s a little town in New Jersey.

    oh never mind.


  17. avatar
    daydreamer | 25 April 2006 at 7:51 pm #

    My Evil Twin got in a horrible argument with my mother a few days ago. That, after losing her husband of nearly 60 yrs (my dad) only six weeks ago. Our family has lost its thether and is floating in complete disarray. All our Evil Twins are coming out.

    Rant on, Steve. We all need to. Just don’t ever take it out on your mom.


  18. avatar
    Edith Pilaf | 25 April 2006 at 9:40 pm #

    Aw, hell. I think the rants are the funniest posts! Am I the only one…?

    Steve, the evil twin is half your genius; he needs room to roam. Give him some space, mate! Remember ‘je ne regrette rien’ 🙂

  19. avatar
    flowerpower | 25 April 2006 at 9:51 pm #

    Once WB Griffin lost control of the place it turned into KINGDOM FOR THE CAR (& PINE AND PORN). It lost it for me ever since. Please tell me which effed up, twisted town planner is responsible for Tuggers? Opportunity lost with those Alps in the background.

  20. avatar
    Queen Hatshepsut | 25 April 2006 at 11:00 pm #

    Gertrude Stein said “We are always the same age inside.” A lot of people have probably said that actually. How vividly I recall asking my 94 year old grandmother if she felt ‘old’ and she said “I still feel 20 years old sometimes.”

    We are often drawn back to certain places, times, ages….perhaps without rhyme or reason. I take it you grew up in Canberra? Perhaps someday these strange feelings that draw you back to this place will reveal themselves clearly to you and all will one day be resolved. Perhaps when you are 99 years old, surrounded by all your beautiful children, loves and friends, some of the last thoughts you’ll have will be warm dusk nights in Canberra…ah who knows. They say you can’t go home again but I suspect our three pound universes can’t quite grasp that. And so unconsciously or consciously we remain haunted. In a couple of days I will be 39; and yet for years I have perpetually felt about 25 years old. The mirror doesn’t lie – and gravity’s a bitch; the body is a bit slower, easier to tire. But the spirit won’t listen.

    OH MY GOD! Speaking of listening, my mail just came. FINALLY, ‘ultc’ is here. Back later with thoughts on the CD.

    denise happy happy denise happy happy happy happy me!!!!

  21. avatar
    Anonymous | 25 April 2006 at 11:28 pm #

    dave studdert may have made a tactical blunder in kicking you out.


  22. avatar
    public savant | 26 April 2006 at 12:36 am #

    No worries there SK, on Monday afternoon I scanned the room to find a likely character with whom I might share the mirth and, being the Monday preceding a National Public Holiday, found it empty. Well, there was the Australia Post girl, but having just “licked the stamps” on mail that probably comprised about 28 per cent work-related items, she may not have seen the joke.

    Speaking of VIP bathrooms, I remain stunned by the correlation between seniority and pre-school level toilet antics – it seems the heavier the hitter, the more careless the shitter (not wishing to be too crude about it).

    Forgive my cloacal obsession (which merely follows the rich current, so to speak, of a particularly specialised literary tradition), but the following excerpt from one of my “pieces”, was inspired by a relatively executive (though who can tell these days with open plan “spaces”) bathroom in the public service :

    Nor am I supposed to approximate eye contact with the driver when he glances in the rear-vision mirror. Urged on by the story of a disgruntled builder who, depending upon his sandwich filling, made a point of defecating at least once a day amongst the stumps of his client’s soon to be floored living area, I unpacked at length the sort of personality that gets about my office smearing snot on the backs of the toilet doors whilst awaiting their own desolate movements. The driver, Mart, whose family’s farm it is we’re speeding towards, seemed to wince when I described how really inconvenient it must be for these people to reach the favoured places of adornment from a seated position, and how such an effort may well explain that other local phenomenon of the reeking graffiti sprayed everywhere but the retching throat of the bowl.
    Mart’s brief lock of derision, unmistakable behind his reflective sunglasses, asked how I could possibly know any of this unless I was the perpetrator, which, I’ll admit, seemed unlikely. No, in this pinched brotherhood a far greater crime than publicising one’s own excreta appears to be that of getting carried away, and the creases spreading beyond Mart’s iridescent lenses seemed to say, on behalf of everyone, hey, don’t be makin’ shit up on this trip, my friend.

  23. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 April 2006 at 12:49 am #

    I dunno, Canberra wasnt too bad a few years back – on the main strip a few little music cafes that had that Harold Park type feel.
    We went to a niteclub called Mars I think – 1st part of the evening was a live band & the those kinda punters – a Church poster on the wall – then the band packed up & a totally different crowd soaked in for a techno rave type affair – it was kinda like from Dusk till Dawn.
    Then you could always pick up a pissed girl at the Private Bin!
    Oh my God.

    Dutch Pierre

  24. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 April 2006 at 1:04 am #

    if you cant rant on your own blog
    what’s the point?

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 April 2006 at 2:04 am #

    I keep waiting for the time to come when at one of our gigs someone requests a song that at least they know….

    good excuse to play ’em Anna miranda. that ought to confuse ’em.

    jeez looo-eeze! don’t be so hard on yourself.

    ultc is great
    i feel a bit cheated by the b-sides
    to block though
    ah, what the hell do i know


  26. avatar
    mike a | 26 April 2006 at 2:10 am #

    You got kicked out of your own group – now that’s a hard one to beat!!

    I hope your unfinished business with canberra resolves itself.

  27. avatar
    si-kli | 26 April 2006 at 2:56 am #

    you can take the boy out of the bush…
    but you can’t take the bush out of the boy….
    Canberra…Capital of australia.. ha..
    Ruined a good sheep paddock that place.

  28. avatar
    captainmission | 26 April 2006 at 2:58 am #

    never mind all that, here’s something i thought you may enjoy. it comes from a quantum physicist known as Elizabeth Finkel and it’s a comment upon superstring theory.

    What are the particales of the world we see?
    the notes on the string

    what is chemistry?
    the melodies on the string

    what are the laws of physics?
    the laws of harmonies on string

    what is the universe?
    the sympony of the strings

    what is the mind of God?
    music resonating through hyperspace

    beautiful hey?

  29. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 April 2006 at 3:43 am #

    There is a town in north Ontario,
    With dream comfort memory to spare
    And in my mind
    I still need a place to go,
    All my changes were there….

  30. avatar
    who am eye | 26 April 2006 at 4:12 am #

    it took ye a while to ACT nollege yer olden songs steev kulby. shirley eye didn’t imbarrys ewe, knot the grate steav kilbuy who sung thees sonks manny knights wiff joken & dafe. listen to uvver groops from ye olde daze & thees socks stan dupp very nice thanx a lot. if ewe finger it out hoo eye am, eye willie let ewe send me all coppys of churchy stuff so eye can compear olden tipe wurds with newen tipe wurds, maybee even poot them on my wall. as all ways it hasbeen (not ewe) a plessure & remember the white horse will ride ewe to hell … so there … & back
    be seeing ewe number 666
    from my PC

    pure white & deddly, it’s my love
    like a vicious knife she cuts ya & hurts ya & ruin yer life
    like a pungent scar she’ll jump in your brain & desex? your heart
    swab you up & swab you up & lick your wounds when the bleedin’ starts

    it doesn’t matter if you shoot her or drink her
    it doesn’t matter if she’s a girl or a man
    it doesn’t matter if you buy her or steel her
    she’s christine keeler she’s peter pan

    pure white & deddly it’s my fear
    like an angry man bash ya & slash ya
    & spoon feed you sand
    Like a shooting star you’ll fall out of site
    & desex your eyes
    Make it scream make it dream with a pack of lies

    it doesn’t matter if you shoot her or drink her
    it doesn’t matter if she’s a girl or a man
    it doesn’t matter if you buy her or steel her
    she’s christine keeler she’s peter pan

    insert a MOUNTAIN of a solo by DS

    pure white & deddly it’s my death
    like an acid burn hurting & flirting
    always nearing your turn
    in another day in another year
    like a dog at your throat
    deep in your voice making no choice
    there’s no suicide note

    it doesn’t matter if you shoot her or drink her
    it doesn’t matter if she’s a girl or a man
    it doesn’t matter if you buy her or steel her
    she’s christine keeler she’s peter pan

  31. avatar
    Anonymous | 26 April 2006 at 4:52 am #

    Yesterday’s rant was a great motivational piece and may get some green cardigan off onto the road to greatness

  32. avatar
    Andromeda7 | 26 April 2006 at 7:07 am #

    Hey now SK, got to ruefully admit it was actually me who said judge not… felt the cement roller of self-recognition start on my own butt as i typed it…

    but seriously this blogge is the most insanely charming and paradoxical place to be. beyond the intense, raving beauty of your words, the fact that you are actually listening and responding to us as we are to you and eachother is confounding somehow. your extreme open honesty, your day by day emotional weather… the generosity of your time and even the rants of your evil twin, and your on-the-morrow reflections – man, this is just marvellous. so knocked out by human nature sometimes, the shiny edges of sixpences rolling into the surf, i’m getting off here somebody else’s turn. thanks your twinness. love as always. ps any news from sweden?

  33. avatar
    the eye of the needle | 26 April 2006 at 9:11 am #

    Looks like he’s back again

  34. avatar
    rubikon | 26 April 2006 at 9:21 am #

    Sounds as if you’ve got some unfinished buisness in Canberra. Did you lose/leave something there. You have to lay those ghosts to rest or they will always haunt you.

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