posted on March 15, 2011 at 10:52 pm

the author

we vanish into memory

someone throws our clothes away

maybe someone makes a speech

maybe someone writes a column

eventually there will be no trace of us

as if we never were here

and your memory of all this will be erased

if there is a next life here

you will never remember all that passed before

stripped of all gifts and memory then we must go on

only vague predilections remaining like shadows on our souls

the evil and good we have done will shape futures to come

the neglect will see us neglected

the perfect will see us perfected

i’m gonna have to fight all these battles again soon

because i havent gained any ground in this round

the wheel turns but i dont move on

nature is our mother she is also cruel and wicked

each tragedy now is a bastard of a thing

so hard to handle you just switch off

one night soon this world might end in tears

cant you feel it coming down the line?

something quite bizarre and avoidable

but seems like inevitability this far in

in some ways my life is a failure if i dont ever learn

sidetracked by mysterious illusions

vanity lit up fits and tantrums

hurl my spear of words and music

tremble on the perpetual verge of realisation that……

oh i can never remember

i was talking to friend of mine when i realised they were gone

the line was silent

the crystal ball was empty

the screen reflected only the face of some old guy with a beard

nothing is easy and no one is happy

a puzzle within an obstacle course contained inside a bewildering maze

i’m falling for the same old tricks

i’m laughing at the same old jokes

i’m banging my brand new head on the same old wall

i jump out the same old window expecting not to fall

cant face the truth  cant face the lies

some bit of me can only live when the other part dies

i cant see nothing it hurts my eyes

in the ugly mirror where time really flies

we vanish into memory

 

 

 

47 Responses to “we vanish into memory”

  1. avatar
    Ron Bonham | 15 March 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    Today’s made me think of these lines from Fog;

    It hurts to think that in a hundred years
    We’ll all just be microfiche
    Our names and the names of our songs
    Cataloged and filed away
    I don’t like driving in this fog
    I don’t like struggling in this web
    And if I ever wake up
    As if you’ll ever wake up

    Didn’t think I felt so empty
    Emptiness can feel so good
    I see the perfect life is the life of a tree
    Yeah the life of a tree is the life for me
    But you chop me up for wood

    Indeed!

    rB

  2. avatar
    Freddie | 15 March 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    You sound like a man who is far too alone.
    why is that?
    xoxo

  3. avatar
    BROKEN TOYS AND HEROS | 15 March 2011 at 11:33 pm #

    SK-

    Oh…I feel for you my friend. All that is ours, may soon be others. All that is left, may soon be gone. Realization is a drug of self-discovery. What are you with out your art, music, admiration ??? A father ??? Hell ya you are. A mighty fine one. Yes, you can succeed in having it all and giving to others. Just turn over that instruction manual titled ‘Life”, you will find the correction language to read and follow…on its flipside.

    And sometime the ‘same old jokes’ are still funny.

    AsAlways,
    Darrin K.

  4. avatar
    Ryan | 16 March 2011 at 12:25 am #

    I’m obsessed with memory. I find it so sad that with the passing of our lives, all those stories and all those precious memories will just fade away.

  5. avatar
    . | 16 March 2011 at 12:28 am #

    brilliant.

  6. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 March 2011 at 1:47 am #

    if we stop, you’re probably right; otherwise, you’re hopefully wrong.

  7. avatar
    Lara | 16 March 2011 at 1:58 am #

    Oh, Mr. K. Your eye is sadly blurred in this photo. As for loss of/in memory, I am reminded of a video I saw of a man who lost all capacity to form memories after a stroke. It was the weirdest thing. You’d think it would be terrifying, but he was ecstatic; every single moment was a delightful surprise. He “met” his interviewer over and over again, and each time he was thrilled. Watching him was heartbreaking, but maybe it needn’t be.

  8. avatar
    Tanya | 16 March 2011 at 2:08 am #

    Been thinking bout’ that a lot despite it being too difficult to reconcile. Killing time while standing in line trying to figure out how to make some kind of difference.

  9. avatar
    Wallace | 16 March 2011 at 2:28 am #

    too true steve & well said. it’s a curious question of the ages. perhaps there is more then this. we either go some where better or become somehting better. or perhaps this longing is an innate emotion within the subconscious which tells us “yes, there is more then this”. it’s scary not knowing how will be remembered or in this case how we’ll be forgotten. i digress “it’s your sympathy i feel sorry for”. – comes to mind. hope OZ is treating you well. cheers.

  10. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 March 2011 at 2:49 am #

    damn…

  11. avatar
    Narelle | 16 March 2011 at 3:37 am #

    ‘throws our clothes away’…of someone close to us…certainly is a sad memory…and something I thought of when my father died about 30 years ago…how it must have felt…for that person…and I still miss his clothes being in the wardrobe when I go ‘home’…how stupid is that…
    all that is left are the memories and the lessons
    take care

  12. avatar
    . | 16 March 2011 at 3:42 am #

    the memories can’t be measured
    at least not by any conventional means
    they materialize when we least understand them
    the benefit they offer is left up to every woman and man
    through our past, future, and perfect tenses
    soul packets stored as code in the soul and brain
    when this shell finally breathes its’ last breath
    a whole lotta love and cosmic imprint will remain
    never underestimate what you’ll leave at the table
    it won’t be just a bunch of scraps for the pickings
    it’ll be an enduring feast of enlightenment, not starvation

  13. avatar
    Cecilia | 16 March 2011 at 4:53 am #

    i’m falling for the same old tricks
    i’m laughing at the same old jokes
    i’m banging my brand new head on the same old wall
    i jump out the same old window expecting not to fall

    Caigo por los mismos trucos viejos
    Me rio a las mismas bromas viejas
    Azoto mi cabeza nueva sobre la misma pared vieja
    Brinco fuera de la misma ventana vieja esperando no caer

  14. avatar
    Heather daydream | 16 March 2011 at 4:54 am #

    spot on SK. I just spoke to a friend of mine who has been told he has “six to nine” months to live….it’s depressing; your post catches my mood, the first four lines

  15. avatar
    jaime r.. | 16 March 2011 at 5:29 am #

    Like a spoon in a cup.. you stir the very essence out of the liquid.. I am not as old as you Steve.. but im about as wise to be a wise ass and delude with platitude.. and it really conjures up something very interesting about our fear and mortality.. Its seems our honesty towards ourselves can only save us.. which you are sharing with real sincerity here..
    When we humble ourselves and move into the divine spectrum we can only enhance our creativity and further our creation.. Not without sadness or human error We must accept our mistakes, misfortune and ourselves in order to move towards peace.. I have lost sooo much in my life.. I almost gave it up myself.. Alot of your music pulled me through.. the honesty and longing made me feel connected.. I lost so much of myself.. And I will never be what I was with people that are now gone.. the lessons of rash decisions and unrestrained passion give me wisdom, but are slow to heal our wounds.. So we still act out in pain and hurt others and ourselves.. I know what it is to cheat oneself with intellectual vanity and half realized spiritual potentials.. and we are not so far from our goal when it can be noted that until one prostrates oneself with tears and full devotion devoid of ego onto the Lord, Great Spirit or Loving Consciousness that there will be a movement towards transcendence..a sincere evolution into a higher state or Love.. -Ramakrishna
    Such is our story of sacrifice and suffering into Bliss.. Our suffering is the catalyst and you are in it.. we are supposed to have fear and doubt.. Let it burn you and let it heal you.. This wisdom has served Humanity thru atrocities and cruel sufferings over and over.. I dont know if I have what it takes all of the time.. I just realized that my awakened spiritual potential has to go beyond and not fall back into the ego.. be it more than a badge, an edge over the masses.. a romanticized garden that i can taste but cant smell.. I gone too far past the comforts of the dull and mundane.. My mind is cluttered like a junkyard with missed opportunities lustful monetary and otherwise.. heaps of perceived regret.. And its difficult to share life with someone that isnt in tune with that potential or can accept the aforementioned suffering and its tribulations.. Its lonely and yet we must go at it alone.. we must go into the fire alone.. I brought fire back to my loved one and it was too bright for her to see it.. My heart and family disintegrated.. I thought i lost it all.. and then i found others in my family with good hearts and softer ambitions.. and my heart just said to be.. be with them.. give love share love.. Its not the same but it is the better part of you that grows and move away from judgment, from observing myself thru the lens of scrutiny of ego.. It takes alot of unlearning.. day on day dedication and patience.. but all in all we must remain calm.. be peaceful.. thru the pain and suffering.. non-violent.. recall all the faltered moments and inject peace into them.. contemplate them.. exorcise the grief and pain..
    Trust yourself.. Love yourself..Steve…

    • avatar
      Lisa | 16 March 2011 at 1:50 pm #

      This is very deep…but I like it.

    • avatar
      DavidP | 17 March 2011 at 1:34 pm #

      I like
      although
      I find the way to remain calm and peaceful is to observe the inner states which take that away in the moment they come up and work to eliminate it in the moment and also meditate on it later too

  16. avatar
    sarah | 16 March 2011 at 6:33 am #

    beautiful remembering. stunning poetics. thank-you.

  17. avatar
    davem | 16 March 2011 at 7:26 am #

    Your essence will echo for generations.

  18. avatar
    Jason (jmb066) | 16 March 2011 at 9:15 am #

    Steve,

    We all feel the way you do sometimes
    My father in law passed a week ago
    clothes already gone, its sad
    pictures live on, memory lives on for awhile
    You will live on longer than most of us
    Your music, art, poetry will go on until the end
    big blue ball of insanity floating in space
    cant spin forever
    maybe already too long
    I trudge on
    for my kids, always
    best part of my life
    they will keep me going after I am gone, I will live on in them
    you as well with your children
    I will never be perfect
    dont want to be
    to much pressure
    enjoy the little things
    give yourself more credit than you do
    thank you for being you
    enjoy every moments you have left
    try not to think about the end
    think about today
    breathe it in
    play with the little ones
    Skype the older ones in Sweden
    paint
    write
    call your wife
    work it out
    let us know how to help
    your not alone
    ever.

    Jason

  19. avatar
    Karen | 16 March 2011 at 9:34 am #

    youve gained heaps of ground a lot more than most

    Off to a job I dont have the heart for anymore least your doing what you love
    my daughter boy friend aked me for her hand last nite well not jut her hand she getting married! over the fone..Im going to be a mother of the bride:O might be a granny after all in a couple of yr:O

  20. avatar
    Karen | 16 March 2011 at 9:36 am #

    I lost a few ‘s there need a new keyboard

  21. avatar
    bionicanna | 16 March 2011 at 10:10 am #

    a shared memory is never lost

    and starting over is tempting, but could never compare to the wonder of restoration

  22. avatar
    Brien Comerford | 16 March 2011 at 10:35 am #

    I think you earned immortal life when you made a karma friendly choice in 1972. Your music and vocals and the Church will be remembered for a long time. In actuality, I think the human race will be gone in the imminent future. Might not be bad news for the grand scheme of things.

  23. avatar
    Sharka | 16 March 2011 at 11:03 am #

    lovely words.

  24. avatar
    evilren | 16 March 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    Time is speeding up for me, perhaps us all. I watch as people all around me, drop like flies with their ill gains and deceit. I myself can find instant karma and my thoughts are all coming to fruition, I must be careful what I do, say or think. It is no wonder we should practice perfect thoughts and speech, for it becomes a necessity to move forward.
    I am absolutely alone and at the mercy of the universe, finely balanced on a precipice and trying to remain upright.
    Everyday is a new exercise in lessons I have learned and the universe challenges me with obstacles to overcome.
    I will vanish some day, but I’m confident of the road ahead.

  25. avatar
    Anonymous | 16 March 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    The church ought to do a concert at the Fukushima nuclear plant.

    • avatar
      thetimebeing | 16 March 2011 at 7:30 pm #

      speechless at your idiocy

    • avatar
      Jonny Hollywood | 17 March 2011 at 2:51 pm #

      the anonymous ought to do an apology for saying such a thing, you have just invited the church army to your front door and we are wielding torches…

      • avatar
        Cocoamo | 17 March 2011 at 10:57 pm #

        Remember, we’ve all had moments when we said something stupid. Let’s be kind. Steve’s sharp jab is enough punishment for poor anonymous.

        Your friend in Pennsylvania
        (Now in Cocoa Beach)

  26. avatar
    rob in brooklyn | 16 March 2011 at 4:40 pm #

    One quality of love is the absence of judgement. One quality of self love is the absence of self judgement. Some people really do need to think about their thoughts while others should practice refraining from the practice. Constant evaluation and reevaluation of what we perceive is a way of keeping ourself outside the flow of universal good will. Too much ying, not enough yang. It’s a way of closing ourself off from the very thing we desire. Judgement comes from the brain, not from the heart. It’s all about balance. Yoga can help us find a physical balance. Meditation can help us find a spiritual balance. But, in the end, only we can choose to turn off our minds, relax, and float downstream. And, when we do, the gentle quality of our nature will rise and our anger and bitterness will recede. What do you want most of all in your life?

  27. avatar
    Richard | 16 March 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    why are we so locked into time?
    .
    it’s just something that stops us from bumping into ourselves on our journey through the present
    .
    it’s ALWAYS now
    and always has been
    .
    there was a whole lot of now before we got here
    and, unless we keep on thoroughly fucking up the world, there’ll be a whole of now when we’re gone
    .
    but our own bit of now is forever
    and it’s value doesn’t depend on whether anyone remembers it
    it depends on whether we make the absolute most of it

    • avatar
      DavidP | 17 March 2011 at 12:56 pm #

      Like

    • avatar
      Lara | 17 March 2011 at 3:25 pm #

      Well, he is the Time Being, and not the Space Being, or the Velocity Being, or the Temperature Being… 😉

  28. avatar
    mattyc | 17 March 2011 at 2:07 am #

    a year ago this weekend, my mom passed, but her gift of a million memories lives on. and they are mine. and I take them with me wherevever I go. sometimes I call them and relish the warmth, other times they descend without warning. they comfort me, inspire me, guide me, make me laugh, give me pause to think…and her memory will live in my children but will weaken with time replaced, perhaps, by memories of me.

  29. avatar
    andy | 17 March 2011 at 3:59 am #

    youv’e made your mark on this world steve……
    as long as man endures your music and words will matter.
    no small feat to be sure.
    and the best bit?…….the job’s not finished yet.

  30. avatar
    Jonny Hollywood | 17 March 2011 at 4:59 am #

    “one night soon this world might end in tears”, best line yet SK!!!

  31. avatar
    vivienne | 17 March 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    time is an illusion
    the race against time
    time to change
    its time
    time will tell
    next time round

    here and now
    the rest is but a moment written on your face

  32. avatar
    DavidP | 17 March 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    Amen Steve.
    they say when we wake up enough consciousness we start to remember past lives
    time has not run out yet for you or the world
    they been saying “the end of the world is neigh” for millenia
    ok, maybe we are closer to it by now, I dunno
    but the point of that saying I think is that life is short,
    when we die, this world ends for us
    there is still time for you to gain much ground
    if you put your observations to practical use to bring about fundamental change and get off the wheel of life
    do those mantras, read those books, put it into daily practice
    you are facing the truth in this blog
    evidently your Being is pushing you to go for the Awakening
    make that the masterpiece of your life
    be strong
    take care
    be aware

    • avatar
      Cocoamo | 18 March 2011 at 5:35 am #

      I once knew a man who was a third-generation Rosicrucian. He was a very straight-laced engineer, which made his recounting of his experience all the more believable. He said he was doing a meditation exercise one night and saw his image in the mirror change from life to life, seeing his past physicial bodies, all the way back to prehistoric man. Rather remarkable, I think.

      Your Friend in Pennsylvania
      (Now in Cocoa Beach)

      • avatar
        DavidP | 19 March 2011 at 3:30 pm #

        hello Cocoamo
        I am Gnostic and quite straight-laced (wadda ya reckon sk?)
        in my experience it is possible to discover things
        in lucid dreams and conscious astral travel

        • avatar
          thetimebeing | 19 March 2011 at 4:24 pm #

          straight-laced yes but very understanding
          i agree
          lucid dreams and astral travel are states to be explored
          (sigh!)

  33. avatar
    bc | 17 March 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    hoping for better vibes following the full moon/vernal equinox weekend…

  34. avatar
    babbaganoosh | 17 March 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper.

    —T.S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men” (1925)

  35. avatar
    david | 18 March 2011 at 3:35 am #

    far too many ..much too much..the post from the seventeenth is uneasy ..


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